.....
I just found out today that my father has cancer. A pretty severe kind. One of the things that shocked me most was how calmly and matter-of-factly Mother told me this. It either means that she is optomistic, or the weight of the situation hasn't sunk in for her yet. I'm not really sure which.
The doctors say there is a chance it can be removed. But then, don't they always say something like this to put our minds at ease?
I'm not sure. Everything feels numb.
I've gotten too good at talking to others calmly without emotion while chaos is going on inside me.
Part of me is trying to be optomistic. But then my mind cuts in with the facts. Sometimes I think I'm too cold and calculating for my own good.
Or maybe I've begun to resign myself to the feeling of everyone dear to me, dying off around me. I don't know.
The doctors say there is a chance it can be removed. But then, don't they always say something like this to put our minds at ease?
I'm not sure. Everything feels numb.
I've gotten too good at talking to others calmly without emotion while chaos is going on inside me.
Part of me is trying to be optomistic. But then my mind cuts in with the facts. Sometimes I think I'm too cold and calculating for my own good.
Or maybe I've begun to resign myself to the feeling of everyone dear to me, dying off around me. I don't know.