[Fan Fiction] First Post! part 2
Title: Words
Author: shinako_toko
Part: Two (LJ can’t handle the drabble)
Characters: F!Philippines, Germany
Pairing: MariaxLudwig 8(>///<)8 *heart flutters*
Rating: Older Teen (to be safe)
Warnings: First comm post! Utterly crack-ish in the author’s personal opinion, overemotional/dramatic!Piri, horribly-confused!Germany, Mild swearing, Mushy-gushiness, History and Time tweaked to fit the author’s purpose, Inspired by late night television binges and kindled by lack of sleep and Milky Way overload; Also based on a personal Hetalia RP with one of the author’s best friends
Preview:
“Ma-Maria?”
“Hmm?”
“That was…?”
“Reassurance, so don’t worry about thinking that you’re vain.”
“I see,”
“Good.”
“Maria?”
“Yes?”
“I do love you.” Ludwig was surprised when she looked up at him with a hint of doubt. “I do. I love you.”
Last part of my PirixDoitsu fanfic! I wonder if anyone thought well enough of the first part to come see this one…LoL! Again, please feel free to tear it up. I did it as a lark but I’m quite fond of this story, I’ll admit. However, I’m old enough to handle criticism. So, *braces self* let’s get to it!
Title: Words
Setting: Germany’s house; present day (21st century)
Author Comment: Inspired by dialogue from USA Network’s Royal Pains
Behind the door, Maria let out a stream of expletives and curses that would’ve even made Belarus blush. How can he just up and say that?! Especially after what I JUST said?! Oh God, I almost wish that he WERE gay! She groaned and threw herself on the bed, knocking her backpack to the floor. She heard the door open and Ludwig’s heavy footfalls as he moved closer.
“Maria,” she shuddered at the sound of his voice. She always did love it when he said her name with his heavy accent. It sounded different, more exotic-and definitely better than “Piri” or “Inday” (the latter being a nickname that her closest friends and her boss call her at home). “What is wrong now?”
“Go away, Ludwig. I’ve just made an utter fool of myself.”
“Maria,”
“Leave me alone.”
“Maria,”
“Gehen Sie weg!” she snarled at him, surprising Ludwig with her quick German. “I don’t know how else I could make it any clearer.”
“Maria,” The bed shifted as he sat down, close to where she lay. “Please look at me. I refuse to address the back of your head…or your bottom, for that matter.”
Acontrite smile bloomed on his face when Maria immediately sat up, her hands tugging down on her sweater, and glared at him. She mumbled something under her breath that vaguely sounded like “arschloch,” but gave him her full attention.
“What do you want?”
“What’s the matter now? I’m not following you here, Maria. A while ago, you were mad at me for being gay. Now you’re mad that I’m not. I don’t understand you.” The blonde took on a gentle, calm voice once more. Perhaps blowing up earlier expended his anger at once, or maybe he knew that continuing to yell at her now would only make things even worse.
“Sometimes I wonder if you ever did, Ludwig. Our personalities are so different! How did we ever become friends?”
Germany shifted uncomfortably on the bed while she bit her lip. “Different, I agree, but it doesn’t mean we couldn’t be friends. However, that’s not what I asked you. What is bothering you now?”
“Fine, direct to the point.” She growled and stood up, doing it the German’s way. “Did you even hear what I just said out there, Ludwig? I basically told you that I’ve been crazy about you for, I don’t know, a little over a century? And what do you say? Nothing. It wouldn’t be that bad, if you really had been gay. Heck, if you even just played along, that would’ve been fine! But no, you’re not. You’re straight and love women, ‘like most red-blooded German men’.” She quoted him in her version of his voice. “What does that make me then, Ludwig? Biologically, I’m a woman, am I not? I tried so very hard to get you to pay attention to me, I just said so-yelled so! But you don’t see me as a woman.”
“I didn’t say that I don’t see you as a woman, Maria. Please don’t put words in my mouth.” He frowned at her, but adamantly tried to keep his tone even.
“Then what, Ludwig? WHAT? What am I to you?” She cried, flinging her arms up and out. “Am I just a friend? Do you have feelings for me? Tell me because I’d like to have some sense of dignity and sanity left.”
The tall German looked at her in disbelief. Her eyes were wide and red-rimmed. She’d pulled her wavy hair out of her ponytail and it cascaded down the middle of her back. Her lower lip had swollen a little, from all the times that she bit it to try to stifle her emotions. She looked like a messy bundle of nerves but, somehow, he still saw the young woman that used to cling to his coat and unreservedly smile up at him, the one who always came to him with open arms, insisted on cooking for him whenever she could and listened to everything he said with rapt attention. Behind the wild, tear-rimmed haze, the same soft brown eyes begged for understanding and an honest answer. But what did he have to say? He’d just been made aware that one of his best friends actually thought of him as more than a friend. He knew that she deserved an answer-and a good one. He raked his brain for the right one, but found nothing. His usually restrained sensibilities tried to present a possible response, but his pragmatic senses refused to have him say it because it might just be taken out of context or maybe blow the whole situation even more out of proportion.
“I knew it,” the girl mumbled and turned away. “I shouldn’t have pushed. I’ve just hurt myself deeper, made a fool out of my already stupid self and probably destroyed one of the longest relationships I’ve ever had.” She kicked her stroller bag unto the floor, started picking out a towel, a tank top, some sweats and other clothes, along with her bag of bath toiletries, and dumped them on the bed. “Just get out of here, Ludwig. I’ll stay for the night but I’ll be gone in the morning.”
“Maria, don’t just turn away.”
“I can and I will. This is stupid, Ludwig. I can’t believe I even opened my mouth. I’ve done nothing but put you on the spot the entire day.” Exasperated, she bunched the hem of her sweater in her hands and bent over to pull the green top off. She shivered a little when the cold air hit her bare arms and ran a hand through her long locks.
“Ma-Maria!”
“Good night, Ludwig.”
“Maria, please stop.”
“I’m done already, Ludwig. You don’t even need to answer those stupid questions.”
“Maria, it’s not about the questions. It doesn’t even matter about-”
“I’m tired, Ludwig,” she pulled the belt off her jeans and shimmied out of them, throwing them to the other side of the bed. “All I want is a nice long bath and then a few hours of sleep, just enough for me to function early in the morning. Please, let’s not go further with this fight.”
Unable to help himself, Ludwig watched as his friend divested herself of the one thing that separated his eyes from her underwear, a flimsy, long white undershirt that she often called a camiseta. He quickly stood up and turned around before he could see any further. “Maria, how can I fight when you keep taking your clothes off?”
“Then just stop fighting!” She cried out, not fully comprehending what he just said. She turned around to face him but was surprised (and a little irritated) to see him staring pointedly at the wall by the door. “Wai-what?” She shot him a confused glare and tried to move closer to confront him, but he held up a hand to stop her.
“I will go…and think things through. Please don’t leave.” He got up and stiffly walked away, making sure that his eyes were fixed on the hallway outside. He stretched his hand out behind him and closed the door. For a while, Maria stood in silence, wondering what had just happened when a sudden draft brought her back to reality…and for the first time realized that she was standing in the middle of the guest room in nothing but her lacy nude-colored bra and white hipster panty. She spat out a quick curse before running into the bathroom and slamming the door hard behind her.
Late into the early morning, Ludwig lay in bed and stared at his ceiling. Even though he didn’t have a guarantee that she’d still be there when he woke up, he wanted to keep his word and thought about what had happened and had been said.
What am I to you?
“Maria is…she is…” He groaned and threw his arm over his eyes.
Do you have feelings for me?
“…well, of course I do. Otherwise, I wouldn’t give you the time of day…”
My God, Ludwig, I love you!
He sat up with a huff, throwing the covers off his legs, and slid off his mattress. He started pacing the room while every word and expression from their fight replayed in his mind. He hated every tear that she shed and wanted to apologize at every glare she sent his way. However, he felt his blood boil at every overemotional statement and accusation she flung at him. Gay?! Really? Where did that crazy idea come from? He vaguely suspected a notorious Frenchman or maybe ashonen-ai loving cousin. I think I’d pick a better man than Feliciano Vargas…but that’s not the case! He berated himself with a shake of his head before looking out his window. “Maria, I…don’t…It’s not that I don’t like you but...no, that’s not what I mean.” He paced the room again in annoyance. He couldn’t believe that he actually had to think aloud, to figure out what he wanted to say. “Maria, I know that you’re……a woman, oh mein gott, this is utterly stupid.” He gave up and fell back on his bed. “Why is this turning out to be so hard? Of course, I have feelings for Maria. Of course, I know that she’s a woman. That is why I consider her to be my closest girl friend…but….”
He exhaled deeply and closed his eyes. He needed to talk to her, but he didn’t think they’d get anywhere if she was still in an emotionally heightened state. Finally, he tried one of his last-and usually secret-resorts. He imagined the usual Maria, a calmer and more appropriately sentimental woman. This was his Maria, the one he knew he could talk to and often saw in his mind’s eye when she couldn’t be there next to him. She wore a simple white linen blouse, her favorite blue jeans and black slip-ons. Her hair was pinned back but loosely billowed around her shoulders, as if an invisible wind fanned her. She was reading a book in the middle of a garden, surrounded by bright peonies and other fragrant flowers. She had just adjusted her frameless glasses on her nose when she noticed him.
“Ludwig! What’s up? Something on your mind?” Then she smiled and patted the seat next to hers.
“Maria,” He unconsciously flashed a small smile before continuing. “About what you said a while ago…”
“Hmm?” She took her glasses off, the full effect of her deep brown eyes washing over him, while she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
“…I wanted to tell you that you do mean something to me. I do have feelings for you, or else we wouldn’t be as close as we are right now. Maria, I-”
“Ludwig?” Maria’s soft voice, along with a few taps on his door, woke him up from his vision. He quickly sat up and ran to the door. He opened it to find her looking straight at his chest. “I’m sorry for disturbing you…but I couldn’t sleep.”
“I-it’s nothing. I wasn’t asleep either.” He mumbled and stepped aside to let her in. She smiled nervously, but otherwise looked quite relaxed. He noticed that she was dressed in the plain black tank top and rolled up pink sweatpants (with “PILIPINAS” spelled out on the right side in dark blue embroidery) that she threw on her bed earlier. She stood close to his desk and twisted the ends of her hair with her fingers, which made the strands even curlier and springier. “Ah, please sit down anywhere.”
“Oh, um, thank you but no. I’ve done a lot of sitting in the other room.” She politely turned him down. He nodded and remained standing as well. “You don’t have to keep standing though.”
“I’ve done my share of sitting too.”
“I see,” she whispered and nodded. She paced a little, until they were standing right in front of each other. Her eyes wandered around the room before finally settling on his face. She noticed the deep furrows in between his brows and she gently reached up to touch them. The tall German flinched a little but didn’t back away from her. She gently rubbed the spot until she felt the muscle underneath relax. Softly, she let her fingers trace the angles of his face until her palm rested on his cheek. The soft bristle of his unshaved skin tickled her a little and a small, but sad, smile played across her features. “Is there any way for me to take back what I said today, Ludwig?”
“Words are terribly hard things to recall, Maria. They leave all sorts of impressions once they’ve been said, and those traces are hard to erase.”
She pulled her hand away, but was surprised when he reached for it and squeezed it with his own larger one. “I-I said so many stupid things, Ludwig. I was irrational, bordering on neurotic. I’d rather we both forget what happened.”
“I don’t think I can.” Ludwig whispered and finally pulled her into an embrace. Once inside his arms, he felt her petite figure shake and the front of his shirt grow warm and damp.
“Lu-Ludwig, please, I’m so sorry! I’m such a dumbass! Please just forget about everything tonight. I’ve destroyed everything between us! Please forget! I’ll stay and cook breakfast for you. We’ll go out and have fun like we used to. Please-just-” She hiccupped and sobbed into his chest pitifully. He immediately wrapped his arms around her tighter and slowly settled her into his bed until the two of them were stretched across the mattress. Maria continued to cry and apologize as she curled against his warm body. His arms stayed around her while he gently kissed the top of her head and mumbled consolations in her ear.
“Maria, please stop apologizing.” He said, as soon as she quieted down. She hiccupped softly and sniffled a little before turning to look up at him.
“I-I’m sorry,”
“That’s enough. I can’t just forget what you told me. Besides, no sane, red-blooded man-German or otherwise-wouldwant to forget the day someone he…someone he cared for deeply…told him that she loved him.” Her eyes widened a little as he gazed down at her, thoughtfully.
“Ludwig…what did you just say?”
He let out a hard sigh before pulling her up to a sitting position and rubbing her shoulders gently with his hands. “Maria, you are very special to me and you know that. We’ve known each other for far too long to not have feelings for each other. Wealso know each other well enough to have noticed almost every physical, mental and emotional change. We’ve grown up-we certainly conceded to that fact-andyou’ve definitely developed up into a beautiful, wonderful woman. How could you think that I would’ve remained ignorant, while Alfred, Francis, Arthur and even Kiku watched your every move?” She blushed and he felt a small thrillin rousing a familiar reaction from her. “And, while I admit to not giving them much mind, I did notice…certain…flirtations. That one time, during the ’93 Summit After-Party? I meant it when I said that you looked spectacular in the little black dress. Too spectacular, in fact. That’s why I had to‘accompany’ France on his way out, halfway through the festivities.” He frowned when he remembered how the famous lecher drunkenly described what he wanted to do to her dress and then some. “And I’ve always valued your input in whatever matters we talk about. I was, and still am, always impressed with your ability to see and say exactly what I needed to hear and know.”
“But why didn’t you say or do anything, if you knew what I was trying to do?”
“Because I didn’t know for sure. Also…I didn’t know if Iwanted to know. What if I was wrong, Maria? What if I was just being narcissistic? You are, after all, anexquisite woman who could bestow her affections to any lucky-”
With a swift pull, Maria effectively cut Ludwig off with her lips. They firmly planted themselves on his own, which sent an interesting sensation of hot and cold down his body. His every muscle stiffened and spasmed at the same time, but his arms slowly slid off her. The former Hispanic nation pressed herself closer and, at the loss of his embrace, wrapped her own arms around his neck. Surprisingly enough, she didn’t force anything else on the blonde man. She just gently kissed him and mumbled softly against the thin membranes of his mouth. When she pulled back, she smiled up at him before sliding her arms lower, wrapping them around his waist, and leaning her head comfortably against his chest.
When his shock died down, Ludwig slowly started to pull himself back into reality. His heart slowly returned to its normal pace. His eyes remembered how to blink, layering much needed moisture back over his corneas. Feeling slowly crept back into his fingers and other extremities.Gradually, he turned to look down on the young woman cuddled against him.
“Ma-Maria?”
“Hmm?”
“That was…?”
“Reassurance, so don’t worry about thinking that you’re vain.”
“I see,”
“Good.”
“Maria?”
“Yes?”
“I do love you.” Ludwig was surprised when she looked up at him with a hint of doubt. “I do. I love you.”
“But?” She smirked at the way his eyebrows continued to rise. At his slight discomfort, she chuckled and rubbed his cheek once more. “Ludwig,you just said that we’ve known each other for so long that we practically know everything about each other. You’re right. You’re also right when you said that we’ve inevitably developed deeper feelings for each other. I just told you that I loved you as more than a friend and kissed you.Just one of those actions should be proof enough. And I do know that you love me. How could I doubt that when I can see you worry and how much you put up with my craziness? It’s either you love me or you’re some sort of masochist.” She giggled softly at his slight smirk before continuing. “However, I also know that you’re currently overanalyzing just how much you love me at this point.”
“Is that so?”
“Will you prove me wrong?” He laughed, his chest rumbling a little against her ear. He wrapped an arm around her and brushed a few strands of hair away from her eyes.
“I don’t know how I could do that…but you’re right.”
“There you go.”
“Very funny, mein liebe, but it’s true.” His fingers carefully traced the soft curve of her cheek. “What happened might’ve influenced my thoughts too much and I’m sure that you’re not in the right state just yet either. It would do us no good to make declarations right now.” She nodded and tried to smile, but buried her cheek into his chest once more. He sighed and gently ran a hand through her hair. “But I do love you, Maria. Please believe that.”
“I do, Ludwig.”
“I’m just not sure if it’s the same as yours just yet.”
“Okay,”
“But I do love you.”
“I know,”
“And you are very dear to me,”
“Yes, of course.”
The two lay quietly in each other’s arms for a while, listening to the rise and fall of their breaths. They didn’t dare move, fearing that the slightest change would suddenly lead them down another noisy fight. Maria closed her eyes and buried her nose in Ludwig’s welcoming scent, which was a simple, clean, soapy smell mixed with his own manly trace. She involuntarily blushed whenever his voice, which echoed gently in her mind, repeated the three words she often prayed to hear him say. Next to her, he silently took deep breaths of the faint coconut shampoo that was trapped in her hair and played with the stray tendrils that wrapped around his fingers. Although he was usually suspicious whenever the young Filipina didn’t have much to say, this silence was more comfortable than unnerving. It wasn’t until the girl slowly shifted and pulled away, did he realize that he’d finally gotten his most peaceful rest since Feliciano knocked on his door two days ago.
“Is everything okay?”
She smirked a little at the familiar question and just nodded. “Yes, but it’s late. I’d better let you get some sleep.” She rolled a little towards the other edge of the bed to get down but was stopped by two strong arms around her waist. “Uh, Ludwig?”
He pulled her back against his torso and nuzzled the crook of her neck. He could feel the skin on her arms pucker at his uncharacteristically openaffection, but she didn’t try to get away. “Stay,”
“Okay, Herr Bielschmidt, now you’re confusing me-and even scaring me a little.”
“For tonight, please stay. Think of it as making up for the Italy incident and for not being with you the whole day-especially after you’ve come straight from work.”
A small, satisfied smirk gently lifted her cheeks. “Well, that’s tempting. But I don’t want to disturb you when I wake up to cook.”
“Let’s eat out. Maybe we can go to the park and catch up on stories.”
“That does sound like a lot of fun.” She bit her lip, pretending to decide. “No funny business though, right? We’re just using the same bed.”
“Absolutely,” He nodded reassuringly at her, silently amused at her play-act.
“Oh, alright, I suppose. But if you snore, you will choke on a pillow.”
“And you be careful when you move, fraulein. Liechtenstein said that, on your last sleep over, you hogged the covers and nearly kicked Belgium off the bed.” He smirked smugly at her embarrassed blush.
“That’s hardly true! She fell out herself, trying to get to the bathroom! Plus, I was freezing and needed the blankets the most! It’s not my fault that Asia’s winters aren’t a cold as Europe’s!” She huffed, folding her arms over her chest. Ludwig tried to stop it, but ended up laughing lightheartedly behind her. She rolled her eyes and chuckled too, shifting slightly to face him. “Tulog na, Ludwig.” She crooned softly, playfully pushing onhis chest.
He took her hand in his again and gently squeezed it, before pressing his lips on her forehead. He slowly lifted his mouth and tenderly kissed her eyelids, nose and cheeks. He heard her breath hitch in her throat and herface redden once more as he hovered close to her jaw. Carefully, he closed the gap between them and lightly smothered her lips with his. Maria’s arms cautiously wrapped around him while he pulled her closer. She gasped when she felt his hands gently knead on a soft spot on her back. With that fraction of an opening, he cautiously flicked his tongue against hers and was happy to feel an instantaneous reaction in his arms. The young woman quivered, her arms almost slipping from their position. She reflexively tilted her head by a tiny proportion of an inch and pleasantly allowed her German god to do as he pleased with his lips.
When the need to breathe became far too insistent, the two finally pulled apart and discreetly tried to assess who did more damage on whom. There seemed to be no clear winner, since the both of them had ruffled hair, crumpled shirts, glassy eyes and ragged breaths. However, Maria smirked and, with slight force, disengaged herself from Ludwig, earning a protesting groan from the blonde man. “You said no funny business, Germany.” She reminded playfully, “Now, go to sleep. It’ll probably be noon before we could get up.”
He sighed, a small smile on his face, and let her settle on the adjacent pillow next to him. She smiled back before closing her eyes, her long lashes brushing against her tanned cheeks.
“Gute nacht, Maria.”
“Sweet dreams, Ludwig.”
“I love you,”
Author: shinako_toko
Part: Two (LJ can’t handle the drabble)
Characters: F!Philippines, Germany
Pairing: MariaxLudwig 8(>///<)8 *heart flutters*
Rating: Older Teen (to be safe)
Warnings: First comm post! Utterly crack-ish in the author’s personal opinion, overemotional/dramatic!Piri, horribly-confused!Germany, Mild swearing, Mushy-gushiness, History and Time tweaked to fit the author’s purpose, Inspired by late night television binges and kindled by lack of sleep and Milky Way overload; Also based on a personal Hetalia RP with one of the author’s best friends
Preview:
“Ma-Maria?”
“Hmm?”
“That was…?”
“Reassurance, so don’t worry about thinking that you’re vain.”
“I see,”
“Good.”
“Maria?”
“Yes?”
“I do love you.” Ludwig was surprised when she looked up at him with a hint of doubt. “I do. I love you.”
Last part of my PirixDoitsu fanfic! I wonder if anyone thought well enough of the first part to come see this one…LoL! Again, please feel free to tear it up. I did it as a lark but I’m quite fond of this story, I’ll admit. However, I’m old enough to handle criticism. So, *braces self* let’s get to it!
Title: Words
Setting: Germany’s house; present day (21st century)
Author Comment: Inspired by dialogue from USA Network’s Royal Pains
Behind the door, Maria let out a stream of expletives and curses that would’ve even made Belarus blush. How can he just up and say that?! Especially after what I JUST said?! Oh God, I almost wish that he WERE gay! She groaned and threw herself on the bed, knocking her backpack to the floor. She heard the door open and Ludwig’s heavy footfalls as he moved closer.
“Maria,” she shuddered at the sound of his voice. She always did love it when he said her name with his heavy accent. It sounded different, more exotic-and definitely better than “Piri” or “Inday” (the latter being a nickname that her closest friends and her boss call her at home). “What is wrong now?”
“Go away, Ludwig. I’ve just made an utter fool of myself.”
“Maria,”
“Leave me alone.”
“Maria,”
“Gehen Sie weg!” she snarled at him, surprising Ludwig with her quick German. “I don’t know how else I could make it any clearer.”
“Maria,” The bed shifted as he sat down, close to where she lay. “Please look at me. I refuse to address the back of your head…or your bottom, for that matter.”
Acontrite smile bloomed on his face when Maria immediately sat up, her hands tugging down on her sweater, and glared at him. She mumbled something under her breath that vaguely sounded like “arschloch,” but gave him her full attention.
“What do you want?”
“What’s the matter now? I’m not following you here, Maria. A while ago, you were mad at me for being gay. Now you’re mad that I’m not. I don’t understand you.” The blonde took on a gentle, calm voice once more. Perhaps blowing up earlier expended his anger at once, or maybe he knew that continuing to yell at her now would only make things even worse.
“Sometimes I wonder if you ever did, Ludwig. Our personalities are so different! How did we ever become friends?”
Germany shifted uncomfortably on the bed while she bit her lip. “Different, I agree, but it doesn’t mean we couldn’t be friends. However, that’s not what I asked you. What is bothering you now?”
“Fine, direct to the point.” She growled and stood up, doing it the German’s way. “Did you even hear what I just said out there, Ludwig? I basically told you that I’ve been crazy about you for, I don’t know, a little over a century? And what do you say? Nothing. It wouldn’t be that bad, if you really had been gay. Heck, if you even just played along, that would’ve been fine! But no, you’re not. You’re straight and love women, ‘like most red-blooded German men’.” She quoted him in her version of his voice. “What does that make me then, Ludwig? Biologically, I’m a woman, am I not? I tried so very hard to get you to pay attention to me, I just said so-yelled so! But you don’t see me as a woman.”
“I didn’t say that I don’t see you as a woman, Maria. Please don’t put words in my mouth.” He frowned at her, but adamantly tried to keep his tone even.
“Then what, Ludwig? WHAT? What am I to you?” She cried, flinging her arms up and out. “Am I just a friend? Do you have feelings for me? Tell me because I’d like to have some sense of dignity and sanity left.”
The tall German looked at her in disbelief. Her eyes were wide and red-rimmed. She’d pulled her wavy hair out of her ponytail and it cascaded down the middle of her back. Her lower lip had swollen a little, from all the times that she bit it to try to stifle her emotions. She looked like a messy bundle of nerves but, somehow, he still saw the young woman that used to cling to his coat and unreservedly smile up at him, the one who always came to him with open arms, insisted on cooking for him whenever she could and listened to everything he said with rapt attention. Behind the wild, tear-rimmed haze, the same soft brown eyes begged for understanding and an honest answer. But what did he have to say? He’d just been made aware that one of his best friends actually thought of him as more than a friend. He knew that she deserved an answer-and a good one. He raked his brain for the right one, but found nothing. His usually restrained sensibilities tried to present a possible response, but his pragmatic senses refused to have him say it because it might just be taken out of context or maybe blow the whole situation even more out of proportion.
“I knew it,” the girl mumbled and turned away. “I shouldn’t have pushed. I’ve just hurt myself deeper, made a fool out of my already stupid self and probably destroyed one of the longest relationships I’ve ever had.” She kicked her stroller bag unto the floor, started picking out a towel, a tank top, some sweats and other clothes, along with her bag of bath toiletries, and dumped them on the bed. “Just get out of here, Ludwig. I’ll stay for the night but I’ll be gone in the morning.”
“Maria, don’t just turn away.”
“I can and I will. This is stupid, Ludwig. I can’t believe I even opened my mouth. I’ve done nothing but put you on the spot the entire day.” Exasperated, she bunched the hem of her sweater in her hands and bent over to pull the green top off. She shivered a little when the cold air hit her bare arms and ran a hand through her long locks.
“Ma-Maria!”
“Good night, Ludwig.”
“Maria, please stop.”
“I’m done already, Ludwig. You don’t even need to answer those stupid questions.”
“Maria, it’s not about the questions. It doesn’t even matter about-”
“I’m tired, Ludwig,” she pulled the belt off her jeans and shimmied out of them, throwing them to the other side of the bed. “All I want is a nice long bath and then a few hours of sleep, just enough for me to function early in the morning. Please, let’s not go further with this fight.”
Unable to help himself, Ludwig watched as his friend divested herself of the one thing that separated his eyes from her underwear, a flimsy, long white undershirt that she often called a camiseta. He quickly stood up and turned around before he could see any further. “Maria, how can I fight when you keep taking your clothes off?”
“Then just stop fighting!” She cried out, not fully comprehending what he just said. She turned around to face him but was surprised (and a little irritated) to see him staring pointedly at the wall by the door. “Wai-what?” She shot him a confused glare and tried to move closer to confront him, but he held up a hand to stop her.
“I will go…and think things through. Please don’t leave.” He got up and stiffly walked away, making sure that his eyes were fixed on the hallway outside. He stretched his hand out behind him and closed the door. For a while, Maria stood in silence, wondering what had just happened when a sudden draft brought her back to reality…and for the first time realized that she was standing in the middle of the guest room in nothing but her lacy nude-colored bra and white hipster panty. She spat out a quick curse before running into the bathroom and slamming the door hard behind her.
Late into the early morning, Ludwig lay in bed and stared at his ceiling. Even though he didn’t have a guarantee that she’d still be there when he woke up, he wanted to keep his word and thought about what had happened and had been said.
What am I to you?
“Maria is…she is…” He groaned and threw his arm over his eyes.
Do you have feelings for me?
“…well, of course I do. Otherwise, I wouldn’t give you the time of day…”
My God, Ludwig, I love you!
He sat up with a huff, throwing the covers off his legs, and slid off his mattress. He started pacing the room while every word and expression from their fight replayed in his mind. He hated every tear that she shed and wanted to apologize at every glare she sent his way. However, he felt his blood boil at every overemotional statement and accusation she flung at him. Gay?! Really? Where did that crazy idea come from? He vaguely suspected a notorious Frenchman or maybe ashonen-ai loving cousin. I think I’d pick a better man than Feliciano Vargas…but that’s not the case! He berated himself with a shake of his head before looking out his window. “Maria, I…don’t…It’s not that I don’t like you but...no, that’s not what I mean.” He paced the room again in annoyance. He couldn’t believe that he actually had to think aloud, to figure out what he wanted to say. “Maria, I know that you’re……a woman, oh mein gott, this is utterly stupid.” He gave up and fell back on his bed. “Why is this turning out to be so hard? Of course, I have feelings for Maria. Of course, I know that she’s a woman. That is why I consider her to be my closest girl friend…but….”
He exhaled deeply and closed his eyes. He needed to talk to her, but he didn’t think they’d get anywhere if she was still in an emotionally heightened state. Finally, he tried one of his last-and usually secret-resorts. He imagined the usual Maria, a calmer and more appropriately sentimental woman. This was his Maria, the one he knew he could talk to and often saw in his mind’s eye when she couldn’t be there next to him. She wore a simple white linen blouse, her favorite blue jeans and black slip-ons. Her hair was pinned back but loosely billowed around her shoulders, as if an invisible wind fanned her. She was reading a book in the middle of a garden, surrounded by bright peonies and other fragrant flowers. She had just adjusted her frameless glasses on her nose when she noticed him.
“Ludwig! What’s up? Something on your mind?” Then she smiled and patted the seat next to hers.
“Maria,” He unconsciously flashed a small smile before continuing. “About what you said a while ago…”
“Hmm?” She took her glasses off, the full effect of her deep brown eyes washing over him, while she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
“…I wanted to tell you that you do mean something to me. I do have feelings for you, or else we wouldn’t be as close as we are right now. Maria, I-”
“Ludwig?” Maria’s soft voice, along with a few taps on his door, woke him up from his vision. He quickly sat up and ran to the door. He opened it to find her looking straight at his chest. “I’m sorry for disturbing you…but I couldn’t sleep.”
“I-it’s nothing. I wasn’t asleep either.” He mumbled and stepped aside to let her in. She smiled nervously, but otherwise looked quite relaxed. He noticed that she was dressed in the plain black tank top and rolled up pink sweatpants (with “PILIPINAS” spelled out on the right side in dark blue embroidery) that she threw on her bed earlier. She stood close to his desk and twisted the ends of her hair with her fingers, which made the strands even curlier and springier. “Ah, please sit down anywhere.”
“Oh, um, thank you but no. I’ve done a lot of sitting in the other room.” She politely turned him down. He nodded and remained standing as well. “You don’t have to keep standing though.”
“I’ve done my share of sitting too.”
“I see,” she whispered and nodded. She paced a little, until they were standing right in front of each other. Her eyes wandered around the room before finally settling on his face. She noticed the deep furrows in between his brows and she gently reached up to touch them. The tall German flinched a little but didn’t back away from her. She gently rubbed the spot until she felt the muscle underneath relax. Softly, she let her fingers trace the angles of his face until her palm rested on his cheek. The soft bristle of his unshaved skin tickled her a little and a small, but sad, smile played across her features. “Is there any way for me to take back what I said today, Ludwig?”
“Words are terribly hard things to recall, Maria. They leave all sorts of impressions once they’ve been said, and those traces are hard to erase.”
She pulled her hand away, but was surprised when he reached for it and squeezed it with his own larger one. “I-I said so many stupid things, Ludwig. I was irrational, bordering on neurotic. I’d rather we both forget what happened.”
“I don’t think I can.” Ludwig whispered and finally pulled her into an embrace. Once inside his arms, he felt her petite figure shake and the front of his shirt grow warm and damp.
“Lu-Ludwig, please, I’m so sorry! I’m such a dumbass! Please just forget about everything tonight. I’ve destroyed everything between us! Please forget! I’ll stay and cook breakfast for you. We’ll go out and have fun like we used to. Please-just-” She hiccupped and sobbed into his chest pitifully. He immediately wrapped his arms around her tighter and slowly settled her into his bed until the two of them were stretched across the mattress. Maria continued to cry and apologize as she curled against his warm body. His arms stayed around her while he gently kissed the top of her head and mumbled consolations in her ear.
“Maria, please stop apologizing.” He said, as soon as she quieted down. She hiccupped softly and sniffled a little before turning to look up at him.
“I-I’m sorry,”
“That’s enough. I can’t just forget what you told me. Besides, no sane, red-blooded man-German or otherwise-wouldwant to forget the day someone he…someone he cared for deeply…told him that she loved him.” Her eyes widened a little as he gazed down at her, thoughtfully.
“Ludwig…what did you just say?”
He let out a hard sigh before pulling her up to a sitting position and rubbing her shoulders gently with his hands. “Maria, you are very special to me and you know that. We’ve known each other for far too long to not have feelings for each other. Wealso know each other well enough to have noticed almost every physical, mental and emotional change. We’ve grown up-we certainly conceded to that fact-andyou’ve definitely developed up into a beautiful, wonderful woman. How could you think that I would’ve remained ignorant, while Alfred, Francis, Arthur and even Kiku watched your every move?” She blushed and he felt a small thrillin rousing a familiar reaction from her. “And, while I admit to not giving them much mind, I did notice…certain…flirtations. That one time, during the ’93 Summit After-Party? I meant it when I said that you looked spectacular in the little black dress. Too spectacular, in fact. That’s why I had to‘accompany’ France on his way out, halfway through the festivities.” He frowned when he remembered how the famous lecher drunkenly described what he wanted to do to her dress and then some. “And I’ve always valued your input in whatever matters we talk about. I was, and still am, always impressed with your ability to see and say exactly what I needed to hear and know.”
“But why didn’t you say or do anything, if you knew what I was trying to do?”
“Because I didn’t know for sure. Also…I didn’t know if Iwanted to know. What if I was wrong, Maria? What if I was just being narcissistic? You are, after all, anexquisite woman who could bestow her affections to any lucky-”
With a swift pull, Maria effectively cut Ludwig off with her lips. They firmly planted themselves on his own, which sent an interesting sensation of hot and cold down his body. His every muscle stiffened and spasmed at the same time, but his arms slowly slid off her. The former Hispanic nation pressed herself closer and, at the loss of his embrace, wrapped her own arms around his neck. Surprisingly enough, she didn’t force anything else on the blonde man. She just gently kissed him and mumbled softly against the thin membranes of his mouth. When she pulled back, she smiled up at him before sliding her arms lower, wrapping them around his waist, and leaning her head comfortably against his chest.
When his shock died down, Ludwig slowly started to pull himself back into reality. His heart slowly returned to its normal pace. His eyes remembered how to blink, layering much needed moisture back over his corneas. Feeling slowly crept back into his fingers and other extremities.Gradually, he turned to look down on the young woman cuddled against him.
“Ma-Maria?”
“Hmm?”
“That was…?”
“Reassurance, so don’t worry about thinking that you’re vain.”
“I see,”
“Good.”
“Maria?”
“Yes?”
“I do love you.” Ludwig was surprised when she looked up at him with a hint of doubt. “I do. I love you.”
“But?” She smirked at the way his eyebrows continued to rise. At his slight discomfort, she chuckled and rubbed his cheek once more. “Ludwig,you just said that we’ve known each other for so long that we practically know everything about each other. You’re right. You’re also right when you said that we’ve inevitably developed deeper feelings for each other. I just told you that I loved you as more than a friend and kissed you.Just one of those actions should be proof enough. And I do know that you love me. How could I doubt that when I can see you worry and how much you put up with my craziness? It’s either you love me or you’re some sort of masochist.” She giggled softly at his slight smirk before continuing. “However, I also know that you’re currently overanalyzing just how much you love me at this point.”
“Is that so?”
“Will you prove me wrong?” He laughed, his chest rumbling a little against her ear. He wrapped an arm around her and brushed a few strands of hair away from her eyes.
“I don’t know how I could do that…but you’re right.”
“There you go.”
“Very funny, mein liebe, but it’s true.” His fingers carefully traced the soft curve of her cheek. “What happened might’ve influenced my thoughts too much and I’m sure that you’re not in the right state just yet either. It would do us no good to make declarations right now.” She nodded and tried to smile, but buried her cheek into his chest once more. He sighed and gently ran a hand through her hair. “But I do love you, Maria. Please believe that.”
“I do, Ludwig.”
“I’m just not sure if it’s the same as yours just yet.”
“Okay,”
“But I do love you.”
“I know,”
“And you are very dear to me,”
“Yes, of course.”
The two lay quietly in each other’s arms for a while, listening to the rise and fall of their breaths. They didn’t dare move, fearing that the slightest change would suddenly lead them down another noisy fight. Maria closed her eyes and buried her nose in Ludwig’s welcoming scent, which was a simple, clean, soapy smell mixed with his own manly trace. She involuntarily blushed whenever his voice, which echoed gently in her mind, repeated the three words she often prayed to hear him say. Next to her, he silently took deep breaths of the faint coconut shampoo that was trapped in her hair and played with the stray tendrils that wrapped around his fingers. Although he was usually suspicious whenever the young Filipina didn’t have much to say, this silence was more comfortable than unnerving. It wasn’t until the girl slowly shifted and pulled away, did he realize that he’d finally gotten his most peaceful rest since Feliciano knocked on his door two days ago.
“Is everything okay?”
She smirked a little at the familiar question and just nodded. “Yes, but it’s late. I’d better let you get some sleep.” She rolled a little towards the other edge of the bed to get down but was stopped by two strong arms around her waist. “Uh, Ludwig?”
He pulled her back against his torso and nuzzled the crook of her neck. He could feel the skin on her arms pucker at his uncharacteristically openaffection, but she didn’t try to get away. “Stay,”
“Okay, Herr Bielschmidt, now you’re confusing me-and even scaring me a little.”
“For tonight, please stay. Think of it as making up for the Italy incident and for not being with you the whole day-especially after you’ve come straight from work.”
A small, satisfied smirk gently lifted her cheeks. “Well, that’s tempting. But I don’t want to disturb you when I wake up to cook.”
“Let’s eat out. Maybe we can go to the park and catch up on stories.”
“That does sound like a lot of fun.” She bit her lip, pretending to decide. “No funny business though, right? We’re just using the same bed.”
“Absolutely,” He nodded reassuringly at her, silently amused at her play-act.
“Oh, alright, I suppose. But if you snore, you will choke on a pillow.”
“And you be careful when you move, fraulein. Liechtenstein said that, on your last sleep over, you hogged the covers and nearly kicked Belgium off the bed.” He smirked smugly at her embarrassed blush.
“That’s hardly true! She fell out herself, trying to get to the bathroom! Plus, I was freezing and needed the blankets the most! It’s not my fault that Asia’s winters aren’t a cold as Europe’s!” She huffed, folding her arms over her chest. Ludwig tried to stop it, but ended up laughing lightheartedly behind her. She rolled her eyes and chuckled too, shifting slightly to face him. “Tulog na, Ludwig.” She crooned softly, playfully pushing onhis chest.
He took her hand in his again and gently squeezed it, before pressing his lips on her forehead. He slowly lifted his mouth and tenderly kissed her eyelids, nose and cheeks. He heard her breath hitch in her throat and herface redden once more as he hovered close to her jaw. Carefully, he closed the gap between them and lightly smothered her lips with his. Maria’s arms cautiously wrapped around him while he pulled her closer. She gasped when she felt his hands gently knead on a soft spot on her back. With that fraction of an opening, he cautiously flicked his tongue against hers and was happy to feel an instantaneous reaction in his arms. The young woman quivered, her arms almost slipping from their position. She reflexively tilted her head by a tiny proportion of an inch and pleasantly allowed her German god to do as he pleased with his lips.
When the need to breathe became far too insistent, the two finally pulled apart and discreetly tried to assess who did more damage on whom. There seemed to be no clear winner, since the both of them had ruffled hair, crumpled shirts, glassy eyes and ragged breaths. However, Maria smirked and, with slight force, disengaged herself from Ludwig, earning a protesting groan from the blonde man. “You said no funny business, Germany.” She reminded playfully, “Now, go to sleep. It’ll probably be noon before we could get up.”
He sighed, a small smile on his face, and let her settle on the adjacent pillow next to him. She smiled back before closing her eyes, her long lashes brushing against her tanned cheeks.
“Gute nacht, Maria.”
“Sweet dreams, Ludwig.”
“I love you,”