Only Use Responsibly (1/?)
anonymous
July 13 2011, 20:05:35 UTC
Lithuania wakes up one morning and goes downstairs to start making America’s coffee.
On the icebox there is a note in America’s messy scrawl:
Gone to France’s house for tips on being cool. Be back sometime next month(?) Watch the house for me! --America
“What?” Lithuania says, holding the coffee grounds in one hand and the note in the other. “Mr. America? Is this a joke?”
America doesn’t answer. America really is gone.
*
Lithuania calls France. America is rich: he can take the long-distance charges. “Is America with you yet? Tell him he needs to come home soon! I can’t watch his house for him; that’s unnatural!”
“What?” France shouts over a line full of static. “Is that you, Amerique?”
“It’s Lithuania!” Lithuania shouts back.
“Amerique, I cannot hear you at all. I thought you had already left for my house, my dear?”
Lithuania wraps his hands in the wire of the telephone and prays for patience. “I’m telling you, I’m Lithuania! When America gets there, please tell him to come home quickly!”
“I am afraid I will have to hang up soon. I am glad you have taken such an interest in my culture, my dear! It is beautiful, is it not? But these phones aren’t too good over the ocean, so adieu until you arrive!” France hangs up.
Lithuania slams the phone down on the speaker in frustration.
*
He calls Canada.
“Go away, America,” Canada growls sleepily as soon as the line clicks over from the operator.
Lithuania hesitates.
“Oh my God - sorry, it’s Lithuania, isn’t it?” Canada asks. “What is it? You never call me … well, no one does, really. Except America. And lately Netherlands … anyway, what’s going on?”
“I’m sorry to bother you,” Lithuania says uncertainly. “But America seems to have gone to France for a month and has told me to watch the house, and I thought perhaps you could, as his brother, persuade him to come home or--”
“God. Why me?” Canada interrupts with a pleading note. “France’s house? Really?”
“Yes,” Lithuania says.
“I’m afraid I can’t help you there. America talks to me but he doesn’t listen to me, and I don’t talk to Dad--I mean, France - if I can help it.” Canada sighs. “If it helps, you probably won’t have to do anything. America is kind of letting his country run itself these days.”
“Won’t his boss notice he’s left?” Lithuania asks.
“His boss will probably be relieved that America isn’t bothering him with anything. Anyway, I’m going to go back to sleep. If something happens, you can always call me again.”
Canada hangs up.
*
Lithuania doesn’t call England because America is still mad at him over the Great War. Although he does think maybe he should ask England to tell America to stay at France’s place forever … because America will do the opposite of what England says, just because. In the end he doesn’t do it, though.
Only Use Responsibly (2/?)
anonymous
July 13 2011, 20:07:12 UTC
For several days Lithuania is terrified the phone will ring and it will be America’s boss wondering where America is, but nobody calls and Lithuania gradually relaxes. Tony leaves to go abduct people in the Great Plains or something because Lithuania is “too fucking boring” and he has the house to himself. It’s weird being alone in another nation’s home.
One week after America leaves somebody knocks on the door. Lithuania calls, “I’ll get it!” on reflex, then blushes for his lapse. Then he tenses - maybe this is America’s boss? He’s visited before, after all.
He opens the door a crack to see who it is.
South Italy, done up in a fine pinstripe suit with rings on his fingers and a sour look on his face, scowls at Lithuania. “Hey. Where’s America?”
Lithuania shuts the door.
*
A little while ago Poland came to Lithuania’s house, ripped his heart out of his chest, and ran off shouting, “Nyah nyah! You want it back? Become a Commonwealth with me again!”
Lithuania was so angry he couldn’t see straight, but he couldn’t take Vilnius back at the time because he was still weak from Russia’s occupation. He sent a letter to South Italy instead:
We are both Catholic countries! Tell Poland to give me my heart back; he’ll listen to you if the Pope says to do it!
Romano wrote back:
The Pope says Poland can keep Vilnius. It’s half his, anyway. Get over it. Pussy.
Lithuania has not forgiven Romano for that.
*
“Hey!” Romano pounds on the door. “What the hell!”
“America isn’t here right now,” Lithuania calls through the door. “Please go away.”
“What do you mean, America’s not here!? You blockhead! This is his house! Let me in!”
Lithuania really wants to say ‘no’, but South Italy is right: this is America’s house, and Lithuania, as the housekeeper only, doesn’t have the right to force Romano to leave. He reluctantly opens the door again.
“Well, it’s about damn time! What do you mean, America isn’t here?” Romano demands, his arms folded and tapping his foot.
“He’s gone to France’s house for an extended vacation,” Lithuania says, standing aside so Romano can walk in.
“The fucking Frank, huh?” Romano swears under his breath. “I don’t like America getting so cozy with him. The whole nation’s practically heretic.” He narrows his eyes at Lithuania. “And what was with that greeting?”
Lithuania dodges the question: he doesn’t want to be declared a heretic as well. “Considering that America isn’t here, would you like to leave a message with me and I’ll tell him when he returns? Or if it’s urgent, maybe you could have your boss contact his boss …”
Romano studies his fingernails and buffs them on his coat. “I had some … stuff for him. You know.”
Lithuania shuts the door behind him and raises an eyebrow. “Stuff?”
South Italy glares at him. “You know! Stuff! For - communion, see?”
“Oh!” Lithuania suddenly gets it. “Oh, that!”
“Yeah, that,” Romano grumbles. “It’s in the car. Where do I put it?”
Lithuania thinks he should probably feel guilty for helping America with contraband, but alcohol isn’t banned in his house, after all. “He has a stash in the basement. I’ll help you move it.”
They leave the door open and Lithuania and Romano ferry cases of wine and gin and other things into America’s basement one by one. Romano leaves his jacket flung over the couch because it’s sweaty work. Everything South Italy is wearing is blindingly expensive. “How did you get rich enough to afford all that?” Lithuania pants as he passes Romano with a case.
Romano smirks. “By selling America booze, of course.”
“Of course,” Lithuania grumbles. He wishes he’d thought of it first.
“You could get in on it. You’ve got a lot of people in Chicago - that’s my headquarters, if you’re wondering,” Romano says. “I could get a few of your people into the famiglia, since you’re Catholic and all. And Veneziano likes you, even though you haven’t talked to him for a century.”
“That’s because I was living at Russia’s house,” Lithuania reminds him sourly.
“Oh, yeah.” Romano snaps his fingers. “Sucks to be you.”
Only Use Responsibly (3/?)
anonymous
July 13 2011, 20:08:50 UTC
“Thanks but no thanks,” Lithuania says. “I should probably stay on the right side of the law since I’m living at America’s house.” He looks down at the case of alcohol in his hands. “Mostly.”
Romano grins with teeth.
*
Lithuania is putting away the last case in the basement when he hears a high-pitched, horrified scream upstairs. Lithuania drops the case and runs up the stairs; he bumps into South Italy, who grabs Lithuania by the shirt. “Hide me!” He scrambles around Lithuania and hunches against his back.
Lithuania is strongly reminded of Poland during one of his fits of shyness. “Hide you from what?” he asks, bewildered.
“America’s boss!”
“What!?” Lithuania panics too. “His boss is here!?”
“Hide me hide me hide me! I’ve got stolen goods! He’ll throw me in jail! The Pope will never forgive me! Neither will my boss! And I’m not giving that fucking potato-head Germany any reasons to laugh at me, ever!” All of this pours out of Romano in a rush.
Lithuania draws on all the things he learned at Russia’s house in that instant. “Don’t act guilty! Behave as if everything is normal!” He grabs Romano by the shoulders and hauls him upright. “Straight shoulders! Are you crying?”
“No!” Romano blurts, wiping his cheeks. He puffs them out with air and slaps them once, making an amusing raspberry sound, and breathes in through his nose. “Okay. Normal. No problem.” He looks at Lithuania. “... Please don’t let me get in trouble!”
Lithuania would absolutely get South Italy in trouble, if he hadn’t helped move the alcohol himself. In any case, he’s incredibly nervous too. “Don’t worry. Just let me do the talking.”
America’s boss walks into the living room at that moment. “Hello … Lithuania, right?”
“Hello, Mr. President,” Lithuania says, stepping sideways so South Italy isn’t half-hidden behind his back. He pastes a smile on his face. “What brings you here?”
“The door was left wide open,” the boss says with a questioning frown. “And I don’t think we’ve met before …?” He looks at Romano, who ducks his chin and glares.
Lithuania laughs and hopes it doesn’t sound too nervous. “Mr. President, this is South Italy. He was helping me by bringing over -” he glances at Romano - “gardening supplies. We just finished moving them, so the door was open. In any case, he frequently visits because many of his people have come here recently …”
“Really? It’s great to meet you. And perfect timing!” America’s boss reaches out to shake Romano’s hand vigorously; Romano looks pretty unhappy about it, but he lets the man do it anyway. “I just stopped by to talk to America about the situation in Chicago. I don’t suppose you know anything about this Al Capone guy, do you?”
Romano goes red, then white, and with a little squawk, faints dead away. He flops to the ground like a dead fish and Lithuania and America’s boss both just stare at him.
“Is … is that normal?” the President whispers.
“Um, it must just be from working in the heat,” Lithuania says. “If you’ll just sit, Mr. President, I’ll get the smelling salts.”
*
A few minutes later Romano is arranged on the couch and stubbornly refusing to wake up to the smelling salts and Lithuania gives the president an apologetic look. “He’ll be fine. But as you may have noticed, Mr. America is out right now.”
“It’s okay.” America’s boss settles back in his seat. “I’ll wait for him.”
Lithuania breaks out into a nervous sweat. “Th-that could be a while …”
“Really? Why?” The President scratches his hand idly. “Has he gone on one of his road trips again?”
“Oh. I suppose,” Lithuania says. He’s not sure how America’s boss will react to America having gone to France’s house.
“Figures. I let him do his own thing. He’s healthy and we’re all pretty happy and that’s what matters.” The President smiles.
Only Use Responsibly (4/4)
anonymous
July 13 2011, 20:16:01 UTC
Romano wakes up then, flying upright with a cry. “Get your hands off my brother!” He looks around at the surprised Lithuania and America’s boss and goes red. “What?”
What kind of dream were you having? Lithuania clears his throat. “We were just talking about how America went on a road trip.” He eyes Romano significantly.
“Oh, yeah. Road trip.” South Italy scratches his chin, swinging his legs off the couch. He points dramatically at America’s boss. “Anyway, I don’t know anything about this Al Capone guy! And he’s a good, normal citizen who made it rich the American way, by pulling himself up by his bootstraps, or whatever it is his people keep saying. Regardless, I don’t know him.”
Lithuania resists the urge to facepalm. “Even if you did know Mr. Capone, you don’t have to talk to America’s president about him.”
America’s boss gives Romano a suspicious look. “Normally I would go through your government, but I just thought I’d ask if you knew about him while you were here.”
“He wasn’t even born in my land, so how would I know him?” South Italy presses on with his extremely specific denial - but he seems to realize he’s digging himself a hole at that point and asks, “What are you asking for, anyway?”
The President sighs. “He’s a racketeer, but nobody can charge him. It’s because America is unhappy with the 18th Amendment. I’m thinking about proposing that it gets repealed and I wanted to ask America’s opinion. What do you think he’d say - yes or no?”
Lithuania and South Italy look at each other. “That’s the one against alcohol, right?” Lithuania asks, and the President nods.
“No,” Romano blurts.
“Yes,” Lithuania says.
They scowl at each other.
America’s boss looks between the two of them. “... Maybe I’ll just come back when he returns home.”
Lithuania breathes out with relief. “That would probably be best.”
America’s boss stands up and Lithuania sees him to the door. “Oh, and South Italy, about your car,” the President says.
Romano stands rigidly. “What about it?” He asks testily.
“It’s nice. I like your models.” America’s boss grins as Lithuania closes the door behind him.
Romano glares at Lithuania. “What were you trying to do? Ruin my business?”
Lithuania gives him a very mild look. “America hates that law. Maybe I could have been persuaded to tell a lie if I still had Vilnius.”
“Just join up with Poland again! Divorce is so fucking messy. That’s why the Pope doesn’t approve it,” South Italy snaps.
“I thought it was because it’s an offense against God,” Lithuania says.
“Don’t argue with the Pope’s decision! You want to get excommunicated!?”
Lithuania’s eyes go wide with horror. “What!?”
Romano smirks. “That’s what I thought.”
*
When America gets back home a few days later he asks, “So, how did it go? Did you like having the house to yourself?”
Lithuania smiles and hands America his coffee. “Please - please! - don’t ever leave again.”
fin
I fudged the timeline a bit - I don't know that Al Capone was famous across the US in the 1920's - but he was born in Brooklyn and the mob had strong Italian ties, of course. A lot of mob money was made off of alcohol contraband during Prohibition. Capone was finally arrested for tax evasion even though his crimes were much greater.
As a previous anon noted, the Pope totally denied Lithuania's request that he make Poland cease and desist with Vilnius.
America was obsessed with France and Egypt during the 1920's because King Tutankhamen tomb had just been uncovered.
Re: Only Use Responsibly (4/4)
anonymous
July 14 2011, 09:30:31 UTC
The canon states explicitly that Romano dislikes the mafia and that the Vatican state is not Romano or Veneziano, so they don't have any control over the Pope or viceversa.
The Vatican State I did know about. But in my headcanon Romano is very devout and has close ties to the Pope.
In any case, I'm sorry I ruined everything. ;___; I'll just go slink away now. Can you get an entire fill erased? I'd rather the OP get something good.
Author!anon (again)
anonymous
July 14 2011, 22:00:23 UTC
Okay, first of all, sorry for the overreaction before. That came out way more "aaaaah I suck!" than I meant it to. although seriously, if you know a way this can be at least struck from the fill list so that somebody else will be more likely to write it, that would be great.
In any case, I just want to express that I'm sorry I ruined this fill for you - you were probably looking forward to a much better story than the one you got, if you were waiting on the response to this prompt. I hope somebody else writes a second fill for this that is better. (I'd try myself, but honestly it's pretty obvious I'm new at writing Romano.) Please accept my apology and I'll do better next time!
Re: Only Use Responsibly (4/4)
anonymous
July 14 2011, 22:07:16 UTC
Does it state that he hates the mafia in America? Plus, opinions can change, even countries' opinions. And furthermore: the request asked for historical accuracy rather than canonical accuracy. I'd say it's a matter of interpretation here.
Re: Only Use Responsibly (4/4)
anonymous
July 14 2011, 16:24:31 UTC
I really liked this! Especially the part where Romano shrieks about America's boss just randomly showing up XD I actually was kinda expecting the boss to not have a problem with America's alcohol stash, if it was Harding. I think Prohibition was one of the worst laws we ever had!
America is so silly, just up and leaving with no warning!
Oh, by the way, you don't have to delete this story just because it's not perfect! There's lots of fills on here that deviate more from canon than Romano being part of the mafia. Above anon could have stated his/her concerns a bit less harshly. And no, you did not ruin everything! ^__^
Haha, I like Romano being brash and mean to hide the fact he's actually freaked out - and I like how he hides from Germany at first all the time (and screams at him), so I tried to incorporate that. You're probably right about the president! But Lithuania and Romano wouldn't know that.
I overreacted to the above anon. =/ I was like, wow, how did I miss that! But this was my first time writing Romano, so I felt really stupid. Regardless, I hope somebody else fills this with a more accurate Romano because I wasn't paying enough attention - and there's no way to ask for a fill to be deleted anyway, because I can't prove I'm the one that wrote it, haha.
Aww, thanks! I didn't lose confidence in myself - just in this fill. I feel so stupid for not checking the comics for Romano's viewpoint on the mafia. It was still fun to write!
I just want somebody else to fill it with an accurate Romano, is all ... and people don't often do second fills. I'd hate for the OP to miss out on a great fic just because of this one.
Also, I make no apologies for the thing with the Pope - until there's a Vatican in Hetalia, Romano will still be the closest to the heart of Catholicism!
On the icebox there is a note in America’s messy scrawl:
Gone to France’s house for tips on being cool. Be back sometime next month(?) Watch the house for me!
--America
“What?” Lithuania says, holding the coffee grounds in one hand and the note in the other. “Mr. America? Is this a joke?”
America doesn’t answer. America really is gone.
*
Lithuania calls France. America is rich: he can take the long-distance charges. “Is America with you yet? Tell him he needs to come home soon! I can’t watch his house for him; that’s unnatural!”
“What?” France shouts over a line full of static. “Is that you, Amerique?”
“It’s Lithuania!” Lithuania shouts back.
“Amerique, I cannot hear you at all. I thought you had already left for my house, my dear?”
Lithuania wraps his hands in the wire of the telephone and prays for patience. “I’m telling you, I’m Lithuania! When America gets there, please tell him to come home quickly!”
“I am afraid I will have to hang up soon. I am glad you have taken such an interest in my culture, my dear! It is beautiful, is it not? But these phones aren’t too good over the ocean, so adieu until you arrive!” France hangs up.
Lithuania slams the phone down on the speaker in frustration.
*
He calls Canada.
“Go away, America,” Canada growls sleepily as soon as the line clicks over from the operator.
Lithuania hesitates.
“Oh my God - sorry, it’s Lithuania, isn’t it?” Canada asks. “What is it? You never call me … well, no one does, really. Except America. And lately Netherlands … anyway, what’s going on?”
“I’m sorry to bother you,” Lithuania says uncertainly. “But America seems to have gone to France for a month and has told me to watch the house, and I thought perhaps you could, as his brother, persuade him to come home or--”
“God. Why me?” Canada interrupts with a pleading note. “France’s house? Really?”
“Yes,” Lithuania says.
“I’m afraid I can’t help you there. America talks to me but he doesn’t listen to me, and I don’t talk to Dad--I mean, France - if I can help it.” Canada sighs. “If it helps, you probably won’t have to do anything. America is kind of letting his country run itself these days.”
“Won’t his boss notice he’s left?” Lithuania asks.
“His boss will probably be relieved that America isn’t bothering him with anything. Anyway, I’m going to go back to sleep. If something happens, you can always call me again.”
Canada hangs up.
*
Lithuania doesn’t call England because America is still mad at him over the Great War. Although he does think maybe he should ask England to tell America to stay at France’s place forever … because America will do the opposite of what England says, just because. In the end he doesn’t do it, though.
*
Reply
One week after America leaves somebody knocks on the door. Lithuania calls, “I’ll get it!” on reflex, then blushes for his lapse. Then he tenses - maybe this is America’s boss? He’s visited before, after all.
He opens the door a crack to see who it is.
South Italy, done up in a fine pinstripe suit with rings on his fingers and a sour look on his face, scowls at Lithuania. “Hey. Where’s America?”
Lithuania shuts the door.
*
A little while ago Poland came to Lithuania’s house, ripped his heart out of his chest, and ran off shouting, “Nyah nyah! You want it back? Become a Commonwealth with me again!”
Lithuania was so angry he couldn’t see straight, but he couldn’t take Vilnius back at the time because he was still weak from Russia’s occupation. He sent a letter to South Italy instead:
We are both Catholic countries! Tell Poland to give me my heart back; he’ll listen to you if the Pope says to do it!
Romano wrote back:
The Pope says Poland can keep Vilnius. It’s half his, anyway. Get over it. Pussy.
Lithuania has not forgiven Romano for that.
*
“Hey!” Romano pounds on the door. “What the hell!”
“America isn’t here right now,” Lithuania calls through the door. “Please go away.”
“What do you mean, America’s not here!? You blockhead! This is his house! Let me in!”
Lithuania really wants to say ‘no’, but South Italy is right: this is America’s house, and Lithuania, as the housekeeper only, doesn’t have the right to force Romano to leave. He reluctantly opens the door again.
“Well, it’s about damn time! What do you mean, America isn’t here?” Romano demands, his arms folded and tapping his foot.
“He’s gone to France’s house for an extended vacation,” Lithuania says, standing aside so Romano can walk in.
“The fucking Frank, huh?” Romano swears under his breath. “I don’t like America getting so cozy with him. The whole nation’s practically heretic.” He narrows his eyes at Lithuania. “And what was with that greeting?”
Lithuania dodges the question: he doesn’t want to be declared a heretic as well. “Considering that America isn’t here, would you like to leave a message with me and I’ll tell him when he returns? Or if it’s urgent, maybe you could have your boss contact his boss …”
Romano studies his fingernails and buffs them on his coat. “I had some … stuff for him. You know.”
Lithuania shuts the door behind him and raises an eyebrow. “Stuff?”
South Italy glares at him. “You know! Stuff! For - communion, see?”
“Oh!” Lithuania suddenly gets it. “Oh, that!”
“Yeah, that,” Romano grumbles. “It’s in the car. Where do I put it?”
Lithuania thinks he should probably feel guilty for helping America with contraband, but alcohol isn’t banned in his house, after all. “He has a stash in the basement. I’ll help you move it.”
They leave the door open and Lithuania and Romano ferry cases of wine and gin and other things into America’s basement one by one. Romano leaves his jacket flung over the couch because it’s sweaty work. Everything South Italy is wearing is blindingly expensive. “How did you get rich enough to afford all that?” Lithuania pants as he passes Romano with a case.
Romano smirks. “By selling America booze, of course.”
“Of course,” Lithuania grumbles. He wishes he’d thought of it first.
“You could get in on it. You’ve got a lot of people in Chicago - that’s my headquarters, if you’re wondering,” Romano says. “I could get a few of your people into the famiglia, since you’re Catholic and all. And Veneziano likes you, even though you haven’t talked to him for a century.”
“That’s because I was living at Russia’s house,” Lithuania reminds him sourly.
“Oh, yeah.” Romano snaps his fingers. “Sucks to be you.”
Reply
“Thanks but no thanks,” Lithuania says. “I should probably stay on the right side of the law since I’m living at America’s house.” He looks down at the case of alcohol in his hands. “Mostly.”
Romano grins with teeth.
*
Lithuania is putting away the last case in the basement when he hears a high-pitched, horrified scream upstairs. Lithuania drops the case and runs up the stairs; he bumps into South Italy, who grabs Lithuania by the shirt. “Hide me!” He scrambles around Lithuania and hunches against his back.
Lithuania is strongly reminded of Poland during one of his fits of shyness. “Hide you from what?” he asks, bewildered.
“America’s boss!”
“What!?” Lithuania panics too. “His boss is here!?”
“Hide me hide me hide me! I’ve got stolen goods! He’ll throw me in jail! The Pope will never forgive me! Neither will my boss! And I’m not giving that fucking potato-head Germany any reasons to laugh at me, ever!” All of this pours out of Romano in a rush.
Lithuania draws on all the things he learned at Russia’s house in that instant. “Don’t act guilty! Behave as if everything is normal!” He grabs Romano by the shoulders and hauls him upright. “Straight shoulders! Are you crying?”
“No!” Romano blurts, wiping his cheeks. He puffs them out with air and slaps them once, making an amusing raspberry sound, and breathes in through his nose. “Okay. Normal. No problem.” He looks at Lithuania. “... Please don’t let me get in trouble!”
Lithuania would absolutely get South Italy in trouble, if he hadn’t helped move the alcohol himself. In any case, he’s incredibly nervous too. “Don’t worry. Just let me do the talking.”
America’s boss walks into the living room at that moment. “Hello … Lithuania, right?”
“Hello, Mr. President,” Lithuania says, stepping sideways so South Italy isn’t half-hidden behind his back. He pastes a smile on his face. “What brings you here?”
“The door was left wide open,” the boss says with a questioning frown. “And I don’t think we’ve met before …?” He looks at Romano, who ducks his chin and glares.
Lithuania laughs and hopes it doesn’t sound too nervous. “Mr. President, this is South Italy. He was helping me by bringing over -” he glances at Romano - “gardening supplies. We just finished moving them, so the door was open. In any case, he frequently visits because many of his people have come here recently …”
“Really? It’s great to meet you. And perfect timing!” America’s boss reaches out to shake Romano’s hand vigorously; Romano looks pretty unhappy about it, but he lets the man do it anyway. “I just stopped by to talk to America about the situation in Chicago. I don’t suppose you know anything about this Al Capone guy, do you?”
Romano goes red, then white, and with a little squawk, faints dead away. He flops to the ground like a dead fish and Lithuania and America’s boss both just stare at him.
“Is … is that normal?” the President whispers.
“Um, it must just be from working in the heat,” Lithuania says. “If you’ll just sit, Mr. President, I’ll get the smelling salts.”
*
A few minutes later Romano is arranged on the couch and stubbornly refusing to wake up to the smelling salts and Lithuania gives the president an apologetic look. “He’ll be fine. But as you may have noticed, Mr. America is out right now.”
“It’s okay.” America’s boss settles back in his seat. “I’ll wait for him.”
Lithuania breaks out into a nervous sweat. “Th-that could be a while …”
“Really? Why?” The President scratches his hand idly. “Has he gone on one of his road trips again?”
“Oh. I suppose,” Lithuania says. He’s not sure how America’s boss will react to America having gone to France’s house.
“Figures. I let him do his own thing. He’s healthy and we’re all pretty happy and that’s what matters.” The President smiles.
Reply
What kind of dream were you having? Lithuania clears his throat. “We were just talking about how America went on a road trip.” He eyes Romano significantly.
“Oh, yeah. Road trip.” South Italy scratches his chin, swinging his legs off the couch. He points dramatically at America’s boss. “Anyway, I don’t know anything about this Al Capone guy! And he’s a good, normal citizen who made it rich the American way, by pulling himself up by his bootstraps, or whatever it is his people keep saying. Regardless, I don’t know him.”
Lithuania resists the urge to facepalm. “Even if you did know Mr. Capone, you don’t have to talk to America’s president about him.”
America’s boss gives Romano a suspicious look. “Normally I would go through your government, but I just thought I’d ask if you knew about him while you were here.”
“He wasn’t even born in my land, so how would I know him?” South Italy presses on with his extremely specific denial - but he seems to realize he’s digging himself a hole at that point and asks, “What are you asking for, anyway?”
The President sighs. “He’s a racketeer, but nobody can charge him. It’s because America is unhappy with the 18th Amendment. I’m thinking about proposing that it gets repealed and I wanted to ask America’s opinion. What do you think he’d say - yes or no?”
Lithuania and South Italy look at each other. “That’s the one against alcohol, right?” Lithuania asks, and the President nods.
“No,” Romano blurts.
“Yes,” Lithuania says.
They scowl at each other.
America’s boss looks between the two of them. “... Maybe I’ll just come back when he returns home.”
Lithuania breathes out with relief. “That would probably be best.”
America’s boss stands up and Lithuania sees him to the door. “Oh, and South Italy, about your car,” the President says.
Romano stands rigidly. “What about it?” He asks testily.
“It’s nice. I like your models.” America’s boss grins as Lithuania closes the door behind him.
Romano glares at Lithuania. “What were you trying to do? Ruin my business?”
Lithuania gives him a very mild look. “America hates that law. Maybe I could have been persuaded to tell a lie if I still had Vilnius.”
“Just join up with Poland again! Divorce is so fucking messy. That’s why the Pope doesn’t approve it,” South Italy snaps.
“I thought it was because it’s an offense against God,” Lithuania says.
“Don’t argue with the Pope’s decision! You want to get excommunicated!?”
Lithuania’s eyes go wide with horror. “What!?”
Romano smirks. “That’s what I thought.”
*
When America gets back home a few days later he asks, “So, how did it go? Did you like having the house to yourself?”
Lithuania smiles and hands America his coffee. “Please - please! - don’t ever leave again.”
fin
I fudged the timeline a bit - I don't know that Al Capone was famous across the US in the 1920's - but he was born in Brooklyn and the mob had strong Italian ties, of course. A lot of mob money was made off of alcohol contraband during Prohibition. Capone was finally arrested for tax evasion even though his crimes were much greater.
As a previous anon noted, the Pope totally denied Lithuania's request that he make Poland cease and desist with Vilnius.
America was obsessed with France and Egypt during the 1920's because King Tutankhamen tomb had just been uncovered.
In conclusion, I hope you enjoy this, OP!
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was
AWESOME
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The Vatican State I did know about. But in my headcanon Romano is very devout and has close ties to the Pope.
In any case, I'm sorry I ruined everything. ;___; I'll just go slink away now. Can you get an entire fill erased? I'd rather the OP get something good.
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In any case, I just want to express that I'm sorry I ruined this fill for you - you were probably looking forward to a much better story than the one you got, if you were waiting on the response to this prompt. I hope somebody else writes a second fill for this that is better. (I'd try myself, but honestly it's pretty obvious I'm new at writing Romano.) Please accept my apology and I'll do better next time!
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America is so silly, just up and leaving with no warning!
Oh, by the way, you don't have to delete this story just because it's not perfect! There's lots of fills on here that deviate more from canon than Romano being part of the mafia. Above anon could have stated his/her concerns a bit less harshly. And no, you did not ruin everything! ^__^
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I overreacted to the above anon. =/ I was like, wow, how did I miss that! But this was my first time writing Romano, so I felt really stupid. Regardless, I hope somebody else fills this with a more accurate Romano because I wasn't paying enough attention - and there's no way to ask for a fill to be deleted anyway, because I can't prove I'm the one that wrote it, haha.
Thanks for reading, though!
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I just want somebody else to fill it with an accurate Romano, is all ... and people don't often do second fills. I'd hate for the OP to miss out on a great fic just because of this one.
Also, I make no apologies for the thing with the Pope - until there's a Vatican in Hetalia, Romano will still be the closest to the heart of Catholicism!
In any case, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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