Re: [Part 15] Durararatalia (Part 15/15)
anonymous
January 16 2011, 20:11:12 UTC
4 hours later
[...and that's how it ended,] Celty concluded.
"Woah, Celty, that's amazing! Your work sounds so exciting! I wish I could tag along with Celty all day and see your cool professional attitude~ The beautiful shadow woman who patrols the city, protecting the innocent!”
Celty’s shoulders rose and sank in a motion that would have been a sigh if she had a mouth or throat to sigh with.
[Shinra, that’s ridiculous! And embarrassing! Geez! Anyway, it would have been real trouble if we hadn’t found them in time! At least the police aren’t going to press charges...apparently the Japanese government is paying for the damages...which is really strange, come to think of it...]
“Well, all’s well that ends well. But, Celty, are you sure that British guy wasn’t seducing you? I mean, Celty, you’re British--well, Irish--but how do I know you don’t have an innate attraction to blond guys who drink tea and say ‘What ho’? Should I dye my hair blond? Would I be more attractive to you then? Urgh--ow--Celty, why are you punching me in the gut? Ow, Celty, that really hurts!”
Right now
“So, you got his wallet? Yes? Blond hair, blue eyes, glasses. That’s right. Yes. I see. Thank you very much. I’ll see you in...” Izaya glanced at his watch. “...half an hour.”
He hung up the phone. Namie, on the other side of the room, gave a derisive snort.
“You hired someone to steal what’s-his-name’s wallet?”
Izaya smiled his shark smile.
“And his keys. I’ll take what victories I can.”
30 minutes later
“Ha! Let’s see how Matthew Williams reacts to this!”
“Izaya.”
“Yes, Namie?”
“This key ring has an American flag key chain on it.”
8 hours later, the Reagan National Airport, Washington, D.C, The United States of America
“My ID? Oh sure, just a second, it’s in my wallet. Woah, hey. Wait a minute, my wallet’s gone! Where’d it go? No, don’t look at me like that, I swear I had it a second ago! It’s gotta be here somewhere! I swear, I’m not a terrorist! Oh shit.”
4 hours later
“Hello? Yeah, hi Michelle. It’s America. Could you put Barack on? Yeah. Mmhmm. Hey, Barack, buddy, could you send someone to pick me up? I’m at the airport...yeah, I’ve been here for four hours...my wallet got stolen, or something. And my keys. Airport security was kinda pissed, and I’m sorta stuck here. Yeah. Yeah, I’m locked out of my house too.”
--
A little divine comeuppance for both Izaya (because he shouldn't ALWAYS win) and America (Rampaging. NOT COOL). That's what you guys get for screwing around. >:( XD
Oh yeah, and after this, Izaya spent a truly ungodly amount of time trying to make Canada miserable. And mainly failing. So he resorted to, whenever Canada came to Japan for a meeting, bribing interns to steal his pens and put salt in his water glass. True fax. xD *shot*
Also, you have NO idea how many times the president of the United States gets that call. *shot again*
[...and that's how it ended,] Celty concluded.
"Woah, Celty, that's amazing! Your work sounds so exciting! I wish I could tag along with Celty all day and see your cool professional attitude~ The beautiful shadow woman who patrols the city, protecting the innocent!”
Celty’s shoulders rose and sank in a motion that would have been a sigh if she had a mouth or throat to sigh with.
[Shinra, that’s ridiculous! And embarrassing! Geez! Anyway, it would have been real trouble if we hadn’t found them in time! At least the police aren’t going to press charges...apparently the Japanese government is paying for the damages...which is really strange, come to think of it...]
“Well, all’s well that ends well. But, Celty, are you sure that British guy wasn’t seducing you? I mean, Celty, you’re British--well, Irish--but how do I know you don’t have an innate attraction to blond guys who drink tea and say ‘What ho’? Should I dye my hair blond? Would I be more attractive to you then? Urgh--ow--Celty, why are you punching me in the gut? Ow, Celty, that really hurts!”
Right now
“So, you got his wallet? Yes? Blond hair, blue eyes, glasses. That’s right. Yes. I see. Thank you very much. I’ll see you in...” Izaya glanced at his watch. “...half an hour.”
He hung up the phone. Namie, on the other side of the room, gave a derisive snort.
“You hired someone to steal what’s-his-name’s wallet?”
Izaya smiled his shark smile.
“And his keys. I’ll take what victories I can.”
30 minutes later
“Ha! Let’s see how Matthew Williams reacts to this!”
“Izaya.”
“Yes, Namie?”
“This key ring has an American flag key chain on it.”
8 hours later, the Reagan National Airport, Washington, D.C, The United States of America
“My ID? Oh sure, just a second, it’s in my wallet. Woah, hey. Wait a minute, my wallet’s gone! Where’d it go? No, don’t look at me like that, I swear I had it a second ago! It’s gotta be here somewhere! I swear, I’m not a terrorist! Oh shit.”
4 hours later
“Hello? Yeah, hi Michelle. It’s America. Could you put Barack on? Yeah. Mmhmm. Hey, Barack, buddy, could you send someone to pick me up? I’m at the airport...yeah, I’ve been here for four hours...my wallet got stolen, or something. And my keys. Airport security was kinda pissed, and I’m sorta stuck here. Yeah. Yeah, I’m locked out of my house too.”
--
A little divine comeuppance for both Izaya (because he shouldn't ALWAYS win) and America (Rampaging. NOT COOL). That's what you guys get for screwing around. >:( XD
Oh yeah, and after this, Izaya spent a truly ungodly amount of time trying to make Canada miserable. And mainly failing. So he resorted to, whenever Canada came to Japan for a meeting, bribing interns to steal his pens and put salt in his water glass. True fax. xD *shot*
Also, you have NO idea how many times the president of the United States gets that call. *shot again*
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