[Translation] The Not-So-Efficient Newspaper Club Drama CD, tracks 1-3
I noticed that this drama CD hadn't been translated yet, so I decided to try my hand at it. This one is proving to be a lot trickier than the Nordic drama CD I did before, even with all their funky dialects, just because everyone in this CD talks so darn fast ;^;
So I did my very best, although there was at least one part where I couldn't catch what was being said and I'm sure there are a few other mistakes. I think I did alright, but if anyone here has more expertise and notices some mistake I made, please feel free to point it out. My listening comprehension is still a work in progress. And now, without further ado...
Track 1- Prologue
Everyone: W Academy story, The Not-Very-Efficient Newspaper Club
Narrator: This is W Academy, a large and mysterious school located somewhere in the world and attended by countries from all over. All that’s known about it is that it probably has a lot of commotion going on inside every day. Today’s story is about that school’s newspaper club.
Germany: Right, the reason I called you all here today is because of the approaching deadline for W Academy’s usual monthly newspaper. We’ve finished most of it, but there’s still one column that hasn’t been filled yet. Today’s task is to decide how that space will be used. By the way, if we don’t manage to fill that column on time, the student council has declared that it will be used for France’s ridiculous love poems. Brainstorm as if our lives depended on it!
Uh…
*Japan’s breathing*
Are you alright, Japan?
Japan: *startle* My sincerest apologies, Germany-san! How could I have let myself nod off like that?!
G: The soccer game was broadcast yesterday, wasn’t it? There’s a major time difference between Japan and Europe, Africa, and America so it usually ends up being shown in the middle of the night for you.
J: I’m so sorry! In a situation like this, *draws sword* I have no choice but to commit seppuku in order to apologize!
G: Don’t be so hasty!
J: I’m deeply sorry.
G: Don’t worry about it. Anyway, I see that a certain someone is late again. Honestly… What on earth is he doing?
J: Now that you mention it, I hadn’t realized what time it’d become already. He’s even later than usual. During lunch, I heard him shout “I hate you, Berlusc***!” and then he sprinted across the athletic field 145 and a half times. And statistically speaking, Italy is on time only one out of every twenty-four times.
G: Actually, I do feel for him a little when it comes to his frustrations about his boss. I guess it can’t be helped. We’ll have to make do with just the two of us.
Narrator: Berlusconi- Italy’s former boss who had ties to the mafia. The amount of political strength he wielded was considered unforgivable in Italy. [T/N: there was another line here, but she spoke too fast and I couldn’t make it out. Sorry!]
Italy: *door flies open* Ciao! Hey, hey Germany! Germany! Where does an alley cat get its quick reflexes and agility when you try to pet it?
G: You’ve got a lot of nerve making such a noisy entrance on top of being late all the time!
I: Waaaah!
J: Konnichiwa, Italy-kun.
I: Ciao, Japan! I just got here and already Germany’s all mad at me like always…
G: It’s because you always make such a racket as you throw open the door, shouting some crazy nonsense as you enter the room!
I: Veh, th-then… what should I doooo?
G: It’s simple. Open the door. Close it. Then, give your greeting, like so: guten tag, Japan.
J: Konnichiwa, Germany-san.
I: Pfft!
G: Quit laughing!
I: Alright, I get it! I don’t want you to be mad at me all the time, so I’ll try my entrance again like you said.
*Italy opens and closes the door*
*quietly* Hey Germany and Japan.
G: Hmph.
J: Hello.
I: Nice weather we’re having today, isn’t it?
G: Mm.
J: Yes.
I: Mnnnnnnngh… This way is way too boring!
G: How can there be a fun way and a boring way of opening a door?!
I: But Grandpa Rome’s motto was “It’s all fine as long as you’re having fun!”
G: What a destructive philosophy.
J: And yet it’s very persuasive coming from Rome-san.
I: Right?
G: Nnngh… Ahem, and now, to cut to the chase. There’s a column in the W Academy newspaper that still needs to be filled. We need to decide which article we-
I: Ooh! I know! We should put my romance correspondence column there! Anyone who’s having trouble can write to me and have their problem solved!
G: *cracks knuckles threateningly* Do the words “German suplex” mean anything to you?
I: I’m sorry.
J: Mightn’t the topic Italy mentioned earlier about an alley cat’s reflexes when you try to pet it make an interesting article? I’ve been wondering about it myself.
I: Ah, so you were wondering about it too, huh, Japan? I know exactly how you feel!
G: Proposal rejected.
I: Then I’m gonna reject your rejection. Wa ha ha ha ha!
G: Who would be interested in an article like that? Anyway, I’ve never seen a cat run from something like that. They always come trotting out and rub against your legs, leaving their fur all over your pants!
J: That’s our Germany-san.
I: It sure is…
G: Why’re you looking at me like that?
J: But I think something where we look into submitted questions and problems could be interesting. After all, we often get questions from our readers that they wish us to investigate.
G: Hmm, you’re right. Actually something like that might make for an interesting article.
I: Alright then, it’s decided!
J: Yes. Let’s make our article a collection of responses to readers’ questions, then. I have already collected a series of questions, so please feel free to use them.
G: Hmph. I didn’t expect there to be so many.
I: Ooh, are there any questions for me?! Like maybe “Does Italy have a girlfriend? -signed, a pretty 38-year-old lady.” Or “Why is Italy so cool? -signed, a cute 23-year-old office lady.”
J: There are a few questions from women addressed to you, Italy-kun.
I: Yaaay! What do they want to know? I’ll answer anything!
J: “Why do Italian men open their shirts so much that their bellybuttons almost show?”
I: Eh?! Don’t all men wear their shirts like that?!
G: No.
J: If a man at my place were to do that, he might be taken into questioning by the police.
I: I can’t believe that you don’t all wear your shirts open… Here I was thinking that men all over the world wore their shirts open, but I guess I was wrong! It’s so manly and stylish, and yet you don’t do it… Look, first you go like this… and then you do this, and- ta dah! It’s so stylish!
G: Argh! Don’t do it to my shirt!
I: I see… so you won’t wear it open… *gloom*
J: “Because it’s manly and stylish…” Thank you very much, Italy-kun. That makes our first reply.
I: I’m so glad I could help! C’mon Japan, open your shirt too!
J: No thanks. I said no thanks!
Track 2- Boss’s Thing
Narrator: It seems as though the newspaper club has decided to do an article composed of answers to questions sent in by readers this time. But will they be able to answer them all properly?
J: Now then, on to the next question. “I’m sorry for opening with a question, but there’s something about Boss Spain that I’ve always wondered about. There’s a part above Spain’s bangs that curls up, right? What is that? Please use your authority as members of the newspaper club to look into it.”
I: For us countries, even our curly hair has meaning, huh? We’re putting this question in the article because it’s kind of scary to think about, aren’t we?
G: It’s the same for Austria’s curl and Hungary’s hair clip. Just what kind of creatures are we?
J: You’re thinking about it too deeply, you two!
*Flamenco music with Romano dancing (?) in the background*
Spain: Eh? Somethin’ you wanna ask me, you say?
G: Yeah, that’s the issue at hand, but… are you alright? It looks like you’re getting kicked pretty hard from behind…
S: You think? It’s fine, right?
G: How can you say that with a smile when you’re being kicked like that?
S: Ha ha, it’s nothing serious!
G: If you say so…
S: Anyway, when it comes to pain, this isn’t that big a deal.
Romano: I’m scared, you jerk!
I: Don’t kick him like that, brother!
R: I was thinking about stopping, but now that you’ve told me to stop I’m gonna keep going, you asshole!
G: What a quarrelsome person.
S: He may look that way, but he’s actually pretty straightforward.
R: Shut up!
J: As we were saying, we have a question for you, Spain-san. The reader asks, “What’s that curl above your bangs?”
S: Oh, this? *boing*
I: Does it have some sort of meaning?
S: It’s that one thing. You know. It’s that thing from my place that’s so well-known! That’s the only explanation!
G: Which thing?
S: It’s gotta be Gaudí! Naturally this curvy style is the work my house’s prided architectural genius, Gaudí!
I: I see! …Huh?
G: Hmm?
J: What’s wrong?
I: Hmmmmmm…
G: Hmm…
R: You’ve had those curls ever since I was a kid, dammit.
S: Eh? Seriously?!
R: Like I said, those curl’s have been there since before Gaudí was ever born.
S: WHAAAAT?!! …What a shock… I didn’t know exactly when I got these curls, but I was pretty sure Gaudí had made them for me… So it wasn’t Gaudí after all… I thought my hair’d been smooth when I was a kid, but I guess I was wrong. I’ve been a bedheaded Boss ever since I was a kid, not a smooth-haired Boss…
J: It’s surprisingly hard to know details like that about yourself, isn’t it?
I: It’s alright, big brother Spain. Cheer up!
R: “Smooth-haired,” my ass! Keh! Shouldn’t you be glad that you were never that gross?
S: Really? You don’t mind that I was never a smooth-haired Boss?! You like me as a bedheaded Boss?!
R: What the hell is a “bedheaded Boss?!” I only said your weird perm-thing was better, you bastard!
J: “It’s bedhead.”
G: Bedhead, huh?
I: It’s bedhead!
Track 3- A Hero Among Heroes!
J: The next question is for America-san. “I started wondering about it when I was watching The Aven*ers: who is America’s favorite American hero?” Personally, mine’s the Phantom.
G: The one who dresses all in purple spandex and rides a horse?
I: Is that a hero?
J: He’s incredibly weak. When he’s not riding his horse, sometimes he uses a taxi.
I: That makes me feel like even I could be a hero.
G: That’s enough chatter.
*knock knock*
America: Hey! Come on!
G: We’re coming in.
A: Hey you guys! What brings you here? If you’re here to observe the hero club, then come in and put your feet up!
G: So this is the hero clubroom, huh? Hmm. It seems needlessly loaded with technology.
A: Sorry for the clutter. I’m developing a body enhancing suit at the moment!
J: *excited* What was that?! That sounds fantastic!
A: I thought you’d say that, Japan! I’ve only finished the armor so far, but once I’m finished it’ll magnify the wearer’s natural strength 1,000 times!
*machine whirs*
J: That’s amazing! Please show it to me when it’s finished!
G: 1,000 times… that sounds like something you’d do.
A: It just has one drawback: when you install it, you have to put on purple spandex and ride a horse!
J: That seems like a bit much for me.
G: What an awful restriction.
I: Woooow, so can even I become a hero if I wear purple spandex?
A: Hmmm… that might be a little difficult…
I: [T/N: Not sure how to translate this noise so that it sounds natural, but it indicates unpleasant surprise and disappointment ^^;]
G: Hold on, we’re getting off track here. We, the newspaper club, came here to ask you a question, America. You wouldn’t mind giving us an answer, would you?
A: Ooh, that sounds cool! Go for it! Ask me anything!
J: Umm… the question was “what is America-san’s favorite American hero?”
A: Hmm… I’ll need to think hard about that question, but only for about two seconds.
J: That wasn’t a long enough hesitation to even consider and compare your options.
A: Well see, Superman is just one of the many cool heroes we have at my place. But if you wanna know my very favorite one…
J: Yes?
A: I guess it’s me!
G: We completely understand.
J: That was a very good answer. Thank you very much.
So I did my very best, although there was at least one part where I couldn't catch what was being said and I'm sure there are a few other mistakes. I think I did alright, but if anyone here has more expertise and notices some mistake I made, please feel free to point it out. My listening comprehension is still a work in progress. And now, without further ado...
Track 1- Prologue
Everyone: W Academy story, The Not-Very-Efficient Newspaper Club
Narrator: This is W Academy, a large and mysterious school located somewhere in the world and attended by countries from all over. All that’s known about it is that it probably has a lot of commotion going on inside every day. Today’s story is about that school’s newspaper club.
Germany: Right, the reason I called you all here today is because of the approaching deadline for W Academy’s usual monthly newspaper. We’ve finished most of it, but there’s still one column that hasn’t been filled yet. Today’s task is to decide how that space will be used. By the way, if we don’t manage to fill that column on time, the student council has declared that it will be used for France’s ridiculous love poems. Brainstorm as if our lives depended on it!
Uh…
*Japan’s breathing*
Are you alright, Japan?
Japan: *startle* My sincerest apologies, Germany-san! How could I have let myself nod off like that?!
G: The soccer game was broadcast yesterday, wasn’t it? There’s a major time difference between Japan and Europe, Africa, and America so it usually ends up being shown in the middle of the night for you.
J: I’m so sorry! In a situation like this, *draws sword* I have no choice but to commit seppuku in order to apologize!
G: Don’t be so hasty!
J: I’m deeply sorry.
G: Don’t worry about it. Anyway, I see that a certain someone is late again. Honestly… What on earth is he doing?
J: Now that you mention it, I hadn’t realized what time it’d become already. He’s even later than usual. During lunch, I heard him shout “I hate you, Berlusc***!” and then he sprinted across the athletic field 145 and a half times. And statistically speaking, Italy is on time only one out of every twenty-four times.
G: Actually, I do feel for him a little when it comes to his frustrations about his boss. I guess it can’t be helped. We’ll have to make do with just the two of us.
Narrator: Berlusconi- Italy’s former boss who had ties to the mafia. The amount of political strength he wielded was considered unforgivable in Italy. [T/N: there was another line here, but she spoke too fast and I couldn’t make it out. Sorry!]
Italy: *door flies open* Ciao! Hey, hey Germany! Germany! Where does an alley cat get its quick reflexes and agility when you try to pet it?
G: You’ve got a lot of nerve making such a noisy entrance on top of being late all the time!
I: Waaaah!
J: Konnichiwa, Italy-kun.
I: Ciao, Japan! I just got here and already Germany’s all mad at me like always…
G: It’s because you always make such a racket as you throw open the door, shouting some crazy nonsense as you enter the room!
I: Veh, th-then… what should I doooo?
G: It’s simple. Open the door. Close it. Then, give your greeting, like so: guten tag, Japan.
J: Konnichiwa, Germany-san.
I: Pfft!
G: Quit laughing!
I: Alright, I get it! I don’t want you to be mad at me all the time, so I’ll try my entrance again like you said.
*Italy opens and closes the door*
*quietly* Hey Germany and Japan.
G: Hmph.
J: Hello.
I: Nice weather we’re having today, isn’t it?
G: Mm.
J: Yes.
I: Mnnnnnnngh… This way is way too boring!
G: How can there be a fun way and a boring way of opening a door?!
I: But Grandpa Rome’s motto was “It’s all fine as long as you’re having fun!”
G: What a destructive philosophy.
J: And yet it’s very persuasive coming from Rome-san.
I: Right?
G: Nnngh… Ahem, and now, to cut to the chase. There’s a column in the W Academy newspaper that still needs to be filled. We need to decide which article we-
I: Ooh! I know! We should put my romance correspondence column there! Anyone who’s having trouble can write to me and have their problem solved!
G: *cracks knuckles threateningly* Do the words “German suplex” mean anything to you?
I: I’m sorry.
J: Mightn’t the topic Italy mentioned earlier about an alley cat’s reflexes when you try to pet it make an interesting article? I’ve been wondering about it myself.
I: Ah, so you were wondering about it too, huh, Japan? I know exactly how you feel!
G: Proposal rejected.
I: Then I’m gonna reject your rejection. Wa ha ha ha ha!
G: Who would be interested in an article like that? Anyway, I’ve never seen a cat run from something like that. They always come trotting out and rub against your legs, leaving their fur all over your pants!
J: That’s our Germany-san.
I: It sure is…
G: Why’re you looking at me like that?
J: But I think something where we look into submitted questions and problems could be interesting. After all, we often get questions from our readers that they wish us to investigate.
G: Hmm, you’re right. Actually something like that might make for an interesting article.
I: Alright then, it’s decided!
J: Yes. Let’s make our article a collection of responses to readers’ questions, then. I have already collected a series of questions, so please feel free to use them.
G: Hmph. I didn’t expect there to be so many.
I: Ooh, are there any questions for me?! Like maybe “Does Italy have a girlfriend? -signed, a pretty 38-year-old lady.” Or “Why is Italy so cool? -signed, a cute 23-year-old office lady.”
J: There are a few questions from women addressed to you, Italy-kun.
I: Yaaay! What do they want to know? I’ll answer anything!
J: “Why do Italian men open their shirts so much that their bellybuttons almost show?”
I: Eh?! Don’t all men wear their shirts like that?!
G: No.
J: If a man at my place were to do that, he might be taken into questioning by the police.
I: I can’t believe that you don’t all wear your shirts open… Here I was thinking that men all over the world wore their shirts open, but I guess I was wrong! It’s so manly and stylish, and yet you don’t do it… Look, first you go like this… and then you do this, and- ta dah! It’s so stylish!
G: Argh! Don’t do it to my shirt!
I: I see… so you won’t wear it open… *gloom*
J: “Because it’s manly and stylish…” Thank you very much, Italy-kun. That makes our first reply.
I: I’m so glad I could help! C’mon Japan, open your shirt too!
J: No thanks. I said no thanks!
Track 2- Boss’s Thing
Narrator: It seems as though the newspaper club has decided to do an article composed of answers to questions sent in by readers this time. But will they be able to answer them all properly?
J: Now then, on to the next question. “I’m sorry for opening with a question, but there’s something about Boss Spain that I’ve always wondered about. There’s a part above Spain’s bangs that curls up, right? What is that? Please use your authority as members of the newspaper club to look into it.”
I: For us countries, even our curly hair has meaning, huh? We’re putting this question in the article because it’s kind of scary to think about, aren’t we?
G: It’s the same for Austria’s curl and Hungary’s hair clip. Just what kind of creatures are we?
J: You’re thinking about it too deeply, you two!
*Flamenco music with Romano dancing (?) in the background*
Spain: Eh? Somethin’ you wanna ask me, you say?
G: Yeah, that’s the issue at hand, but… are you alright? It looks like you’re getting kicked pretty hard from behind…
S: You think? It’s fine, right?
G: How can you say that with a smile when you’re being kicked like that?
S: Ha ha, it’s nothing serious!
G: If you say so…
S: Anyway, when it comes to pain, this isn’t that big a deal.
Romano: I’m scared, you jerk!
I: Don’t kick him like that, brother!
R: I was thinking about stopping, but now that you’ve told me to stop I’m gonna keep going, you asshole!
G: What a quarrelsome person.
S: He may look that way, but he’s actually pretty straightforward.
R: Shut up!
J: As we were saying, we have a question for you, Spain-san. The reader asks, “What’s that curl above your bangs?”
S: Oh, this? *boing*
I: Does it have some sort of meaning?
S: It’s that one thing. You know. It’s that thing from my place that’s so well-known! That’s the only explanation!
G: Which thing?
S: It’s gotta be Gaudí! Naturally this curvy style is the work my house’s prided architectural genius, Gaudí!
I: I see! …Huh?
G: Hmm?
J: What’s wrong?
I: Hmmmmmm…
G: Hmm…
R: You’ve had those curls ever since I was a kid, dammit.
S: Eh? Seriously?!
R: Like I said, those curl’s have been there since before Gaudí was ever born.
S: WHAAAAT?!! …What a shock… I didn’t know exactly when I got these curls, but I was pretty sure Gaudí had made them for me… So it wasn’t Gaudí after all… I thought my hair’d been smooth when I was a kid, but I guess I was wrong. I’ve been a bedheaded Boss ever since I was a kid, not a smooth-haired Boss…
J: It’s surprisingly hard to know details like that about yourself, isn’t it?
I: It’s alright, big brother Spain. Cheer up!
R: “Smooth-haired,” my ass! Keh! Shouldn’t you be glad that you were never that gross?
S: Really? You don’t mind that I was never a smooth-haired Boss?! You like me as a bedheaded Boss?!
R: What the hell is a “bedheaded Boss?!” I only said your weird perm-thing was better, you bastard!
J: “It’s bedhead.”
G: Bedhead, huh?
I: It’s bedhead!
Track 3- A Hero Among Heroes!
J: The next question is for America-san. “I started wondering about it when I was watching The Aven*ers: who is America’s favorite American hero?” Personally, mine’s the Phantom.
G: The one who dresses all in purple spandex and rides a horse?
I: Is that a hero?
J: He’s incredibly weak. When he’s not riding his horse, sometimes he uses a taxi.
I: That makes me feel like even I could be a hero.
G: That’s enough chatter.
*knock knock*
America: Hey! Come on!
G: We’re coming in.
A: Hey you guys! What brings you here? If you’re here to observe the hero club, then come in and put your feet up!
G: So this is the hero clubroom, huh? Hmm. It seems needlessly loaded with technology.
A: Sorry for the clutter. I’m developing a body enhancing suit at the moment!
J: *excited* What was that?! That sounds fantastic!
A: I thought you’d say that, Japan! I’ve only finished the armor so far, but once I’m finished it’ll magnify the wearer’s natural strength 1,000 times!
*machine whirs*
J: That’s amazing! Please show it to me when it’s finished!
G: 1,000 times… that sounds like something you’d do.
A: It just has one drawback: when you install it, you have to put on purple spandex and ride a horse!
J: That seems like a bit much for me.
G: What an awful restriction.
I: Woooow, so can even I become a hero if I wear purple spandex?
A: Hmmm… that might be a little difficult…
I: [T/N: Not sure how to translate this noise so that it sounds natural, but it indicates unpleasant surprise and disappointment ^^;]
G: Hold on, we’re getting off track here. We, the newspaper club, came here to ask you a question, America. You wouldn’t mind giving us an answer, would you?
A: Ooh, that sounds cool! Go for it! Ask me anything!
J: Umm… the question was “what is America-san’s favorite American hero?”
A: Hmm… I’ll need to think hard about that question, but only for about two seconds.
J: That wasn’t a long enough hesitation to even consider and compare your options.
A: Well see, Superman is just one of the many cool heroes we have at my place. But if you wanna know my very favorite one…
J: Yes?
A: I guess it’s me!
G: We completely understand.
J: That was a very good answer. Thank you very much.