Puh-lease Girlfriend 1/?
anonymous
June 30 2009, 05:00:24 UTC
author!anon went a bit overboard and just included all the female nations. *wince* Sorry!
Liechtenstein preferred spending world conferences with her brother, listening to the other nations argue rather than getting involved in anything herself. It thus came as a great surprise when, after dinner, Hungary asked if she wanted to get together with some of the other female nations for drinks and desert.
Liechtenstein instinctively looked up at Switzerland.
He scowled. Liechtenstein could just imagine his thought process. Hungary had been married to Austria and still seemed to spend most of her time with him. On the other hand, if Switzerland let Liechtenstein go, he wouldn’t have to pay for desert. But, then again, he didn’t like having Liechtenstein out of his sight, in the hands of Austria’s ally-
Hungary smiled very sweetly. “You’re going to France’s party, right? We’re going in a group and we can restore her to you then!”
“You’re going to a party, big brother?” asked Liechtenstein, somewhat amazed.
“Unwillingly,” he replied. “I won’t go if you don’t want to.”
“I-I didn’t bring anything special to wear, but it might be nice to go and see it.”
Switzerland hesitated a moment and said, “Alright, if you want to do it. I’ll be cleaning my guns in my room if you need me.”
“Will you have time to finish all of them before the party?” asked Liechtenstein.
“If I hurry. See you then.” He dropped a chaste kiss on her forehead, but watched suspiciously as Hungary pulled Liechtenstein away.
“And not to worry about not having anything to wear,” Hungary said cheerfully, looking quite nonchalant about the size of Switzerland’s traveling artillery. “If we can’t find anything for you, Poland can.”
“Oh,” Liechtenstein said, a little startled. “Th-thank you.”
Hungary’s room was the same as the ones any of the other nations had, save for an elegant bouquet of tulips and edelweiss on her bedside table, next to a beribboned box, a larger bed, a frying pan on the dresser and several bottles, glasses, plates and forks on the desk.
“Anything to drink?” asked Hungary, taking off her beret and shaking out her long, gorgeous brown hair. Liechtenstein suddenly regretted cutting off her braids. “I have plum Pálinka from home. It’s a fruit brandy mixed with honey. It’s very sweet, you might like it. Belarus always brings three or four bottles of vodka, Taiwan… actually, don’t drink anything Taiwan gives you. Then there’s the usual wines-”
“Could-could I try some champagne?” Liechtenstein asked, a little timidly. She sat on the edge of the bed, trying to take up as little space as possible. “I’ve never tried it; my brother doesn’t buy it and Monaco drinks it by the crate so it must be... at least I think-” Hungary laughed and took several little cakes out of the beribboned box by the flowers. “Not to worry, little one. You can drink a bottle if you want. We might as well indulge ourselves for an evening. I actually have some in case Monaco dropped in, but her boss seems to be embroiled in yet another paternity suit. Well, better Prince Albert than Berlusconi. Poor little Italy! Romano was more snappish than a turtle.”
As Hungary filled a delicate, fluted glass with champagne, Taiwan and Seychelles wandered in and, to Lichtenstein’s surprise, there was much high-pitched rejoicing. Belgium slipped in almost unnoticed, and Belarus, entering with her arms full of vodka bottles, announced that Ukraine was coming later.
Puh-lease Girlfriend 2/?
anonymous
June 30 2009, 05:05:56 UTC
“Ukraine usually doesn’t come,” said Hungary, puzzled. “We see her less than Vietnam.”
“That is because Ukraine has nothing interesting to say,” replied Belarus, setting down the bottles.
“She was dating Canada for a while,” pointed out Taiwan, flopping down on the bed and propping her chin in her hands.
“Wh-Canada?” Belarus smiled-though it seemed too sharp, somehow to be a smile-and said, “Ha, she mistakes Canada for his brother.”
“You’re too hard on Canada,” said Belgium, albeit mildly, from the deskchair. “Have you ever tried his maple syrup? It’s delicious when you lick it off-”
“Belgium!” exclaimed Hungary, shooting warning looks in Liechtenstein’s direction.
“-your fingers?” continued Belgium, in some confusion. “What did you think I was going to say, Hungary?”
“The way I’m used to using it,” said Hungary, blushing suddenly.
“Ooh,” said Seychelles, brightly. “I know what you mean. Canada brought some to give to Cuba when he went on vacation, but there was some sort of mix-up at security and he ended up coming-to stay with me! Hungary, I didn’t mean that!”
Hungary held out her glass to Belarus for a shot of vodka. “I didn’t say anything, but just… let’s not shock poor Liechtenstein. Switzerland already doubts I’m a good chaperone.”
“I don’t quite see what’s wrong about coming with maple syrup,” said Liechtenstein.
“Nothing at all,” said Hungary, choking a little on her vodka . “It’s just a little sticky. So, Seychelles, how was it?”
“Sweet, but kind of forgettable. Of course, he also brought a couple of six-packs of Molson Lager and I hadn’t eaten anything when we opened them up, so it might not have been his fault.”
“If Ukraine likes him, he would be forgettable,” said Belarus. “Vodka?”
Re: Puh-lease Girlfriend 2/?
anonymous
June 30 2009, 06:02:00 UTC
Oh gawd... Next please? Cute Liechtenstein and over-protective Switzerland...
“I don’t quite see what’s wrong about coming with maple syrup,” said Liechtenstein. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww~ That's so naively cute! Don't let Vash here about it though! XD
Puh-lease Girlfriend 3/?
anonymous
July 1 2009, 05:38:30 UTC
Liechtenstein took a sip of champagne and was irrationally disappointed that it didn’t taste sweeter.
“I’ll have a little,” said Ukraine, coming in and shutting the door behind her.
“Oh, I got little drink umbrellas!” said Seychelles and promptly dropped them into the glasses of straight vodka. She gave one to Lichtenstein, who dutifully added it to her flute of champagne. “Aren’t they cute? Unfortunately it’s all I’ve been able to afford since America passed on his economic recession to me, the bastard.”
“It’s amazing how America gets around,” agreed Taiwan. She sighed. “And I thought Japan used to be bad. I miss him.”
“Don’t ask her about Japan,” whispered Hungary, leaning down towards Liechtenstein. “Also, don’t ask Belarus about her brother. None of us are drunk enough yet for either of those stories.” Hungary raised her voice. “Oh, have you met America’s new boss yet? He’s so charming! And he didn’t try to feel up Merkel, which had Germany and Prussia up in arms. I swear, it was worse than the time I asked for Nutella and those two and Austria spent three weeks arguing about the gender of its article. Das Nutella? Die Nutella? Der Nutella?”
“I love Nutella,” said Belgium, “no matter its gender.”
As it turned out, most of them loved Obama too, and this opened up a general discussion on who had the most interesting boss and, what was even more highly debated, who had the most annoying boss. This degenerated into general gossip about their bosses, which was what Ukraine clearly came for; she had a woman as her prime minister and showed them a clip of her boss, a gorgeous woman with a golden braid wrapped around her head like a crown, breaking a jail window. This apparently provided a perfect segue for everyone to start complaining about the men in their lives.
“I swear, if brother cuts off my gas one more time, after all the trouble my boss has had with it, I don’t know what I’ll do!” exclaimed Ukraine.
“That won’t happen once brother and I are marriedmarriedmarried,” said Belarus, with terrifying earnestness. Belgium very quietly took the open vodka bottle and scooted her chair away from Belarus.
“Oh no,” muttered Hungary. “Here, have more champagne, Liechtenstein, you’ll need it.”
Belarus launched into what appeared to be an oft-repeated ramble on marrying her brother. Liechtenstein carefully sipped at her champagne. It filled her with such a pleasant, relaxed feeling. She was painfully shy; being around all the other nations had terrified her but now it seemed fine. They were all very sweet and it was interesting, hearing about all this. Big brother probably wouldn't approve, but she didn't have to tell him, the way she didn't ask him to play soccer with her. Machine guns just slowed you down when trying to score goals and it was annoying to have to look out for bullets when she was trying not to trip over the ball. This was actually turning out to be very nice. Liechtenstein thought she might even try and say something without being directly addressed. She tuned back into the conversation.
“-it’s those stupid locks on the door. I’ll break it down eventually and I will be one with Russia-”
Hungary looked pained and rubbed at a scar on the back of her hand.
Taiwan caught the gesture and, looking more anxious than before, interrupted, “General question to the room! Out of anyone you dated, who was the best?”
Puh-lease Girlfriend 4/?
anonymous
July 2 2009, 05:03:30 UTC
“Big brother, of course,” said Belarus. “Though Lithuania is fun to break.”
“I say Japan,” said Taiwan, with a little sigh. “That was being courted! He showered me with presents even though I was so resentful he was there at first and had torn me away from big brother China-”
“Oh, if you want being courted, no one can top Austria,” Hungary interrupted. “He wrote me concertos and made me cakes, and all that without any treaty to spur him on.”
“Tch, if Vietnam or Monaco were here, they’d agree that France was the best,” said Sechyelles stoutly. “He had charm. Don’t you agree Belgium?”
Belgium had finished off the entire bottle of vodka, out of, Liechtenstein thought, the misguided attempt to save Belarus from temptation, and was now extremely drunk. “Wha-wha I wanna know ish… Russia. Dus’he really have five meters?”
“Does he?” asked Belarus, her eyes suddenly lighting up. Then, just as suddenly, she pulled out a knife and demanded, “Where did you hear that? Has big brother-”
Hungary deftly took the knife away. “No, she means Prussia and no, he doesn’t. It’s again a matter of Austrian superiority though-” she couldn’t quite stifle a giggle “-that doesn’t leave the room.”
Taiwan grinned. “Of course not. Liechtenstein, what about you?”
Liechtenstein chocked on her last bit of champagne. “Me? I….” She began to blush.
“Don’t be shy,” said Ukraine, kindly. “It won’t leave the room.”
“I… I don’t know.” A little helplessly, she said, “I really wouldn’t. I’ve never even been kissed.”
“What, never been kissed?” asked Seychelles. “Not at all? Never?”
“N-no,” said Liechtenstein, startled. “Never.”
This raised a shocking uproar. Everyone appeared to be surprised and offended on her behalf, their confusing outrage convincing Liechtenstein that male nations were really only interested in breasts-or, huge tracts of land, as Hungary called them, neither of which Liechtenstein had. Belgium even went so far as to pinch Liechtenstein’s cheek and protest, “But you’re so cuuuuuuuuuuuuute!”
“You sounded like Spain,” said Belarus.
“Don’t speak Spanish, parlez francais.” Belgium tilted her head to the side and said, “But, speaking of France, there’s a thingy.”
“Party,” supplied Taiwan.
“Th’thing.”
“You sounded like Sweden,” said Belarus.
“And you sound like a brok’n record,” Belgium said, with unusual boldness. “But… um. Th’thing. The one France is doing. Um… oh I just had it. Are we all going?”
“Yes-oh, we could set you up with someone!” exclaimed Seychelles, beaming. Liechtenstein stared at her in wide-eyed alarm. Seychelles was undaunted. “Hungary, couldn’t we?”
“Switzerland’s going to kill us,” pointed out Ukraine.
“I’d like to see him try,” said Belarus.
“I wouldn’t,” replied Ukraine.
“I… it… might be nice,” Liechtenstein said timidly. “The… setting up bit, not big brother shooting everyone. We don’t get out much. But not… just a dance, if that’s alright. I don’t really want anything more, because Vash would kill them and I think that might ruin the party.”
“Have you been to one of France’s parties?” asked Seychelles.
“With Switzerland as her brother?” asked Taiwan, skeptically. “Not likely.”
“Oh, well, attempted homicide is just part of the atmosphere.”
“O-oh,” squeaked out Liechtenstein. “Um, maybe-maybe not then, I don’t have anything to wear and I’m not….” She made several vague motions to indicate that she was, unlike the other nations in the room, less than well endowed and considerably shorter than most of them.
“Oh, hm,” said Hungary. “That is a… ah, Poland! Hell have something in your size.”
Puh-lease Girlfriend 5a/?
anonymous
July 6 2009, 05:19:31 UTC
Poland did and, indeed, did in abundance. Upon being dragged into Poland’s room along with the remaining bottles of alcohol and the cakes Belgium and Seychelles hadn’t eaten, Liechtenstein was treated to a view of an open closet with more clothes for a week-long conference than Liechtenstein even owned.
“Aw, you’ve brought me someone to dress up? Like, ohmigawd, Hungary! You’re the best ever!” Poland embraced Hungary enthusiastically and then turned to Liechtenstein. Poland was wearing a plaid miniskirt under his sweater. Liechtenstein stared. He had really nice legs. “Oh, hey, Switzerland’s little sis? Too cute. I’ve wanted to get you out of those Victorian-style dresses for years. I mean, cute, but, like, let’s change with the times!”
“Um, alright,” Liechtenstein agreed.
“Sweet. So, like, come in already!”
The entire group of women (sans Belarus, who had drunkenly wandered off to find her brother) did so and began sprawling over every available surface. Hungary refreshed all of their drinks. Liechtenstein thought she probably oughtn’t to have a third glass of champagne, but it was really quite tasty, even if it wasn’t sweet.
As Poland sorted through his closet, he kept a running commentary on all the other nations’ relationships. “So like, I was trying to convince Liet to just, y’know hang out and see what happened, ‘cause though we’re totes biffles and all, I, like, miss the commonwealth, when I saw Northern Italy totally running around without pants and Germany chasing after him with pants, and, in fact, Italy’s pants, but without a shirt. And they totally had, like matching underwear.”
“Oh, how cute!” exclaimed Hungary, eyes shining.
“Northern Italy often seems to run around without pants,” observed Liechtenstein. “He wanders into our home and big brother shoots at him.” She thought a moment and said, “At least he was wearing underwear this time.”
Poland looked gleeful as he plopped a bundle of dresses down on the bed. “Ha, good for Northern Italy! He’s like, a total sweetheart, but, like, a total spaz and spacier than Greece sometimes. Speaking of Greece, I saw him totally coming out of Japan’s room this morning.”
“He could have just mistaken his room number again,” Taiwan protested, looking stricken. “Greece is kind of ditzy.”
“No duh, he’s, like, a total space cadet. I swear there are like, colonies of Greek people on Mars. So, Liechtenstein, stand up and let me like, see you and stuff.” Poland studied her as Liechtenstein executed a clumsy, slow pirouette. “Ooh, nice. We’re like, almost exactly the same size, though you’ll have to get shoes from someone else. Oh, try this one-” brandishing a spaghetti-strapped blue dress in her direction “-you might look even cuter in it than I do!”
“I don’t think I could,” Liechtenstein protested, wide-eyed. The skirt showed her knees.
“Well, I guess pinks and greens are more your style, but blue can be nice,” said Seychelles.
“I’d prefer pink, I think,” said Liechtenstein.
“Well, like, you totally came to the right person. You can bum, like, seventy-billion pink dresses off of me.”
“I’d just need one,” said Liechtenstein.
Poland had already zeroed in on what he thought to be the best of his dresses and held them up for inspection. “What do you think?”
Taiwan crossed her legs, causing her skirt to slide up and reveal the flower tattoo on her thigh. “Not the first one, but the rest would look cute on Liechtenstein.”
“Why a dress?” asked Ukraine. “Really though, pants are more comfortable.”
“When I wear uniforms, though, people mistake me for a boy,” Liechtenstein said, quite terrified of that happening again.
“There’s totally no shame in not having, like, huge tracts of land,” said Poland. “You can hide it, like, really easily with an empire waistline or some ruffles, if you’re feeling daring, or, like… just pulling attention to another area. Like, even if I keep being partitioned, I still have a pretty svelte figure, right?”
Puh-lease Girlfriend 5b/?
anonymous
July 6 2009, 05:20:43 UTC
“Like, I totally say so.” He rummaged through his selected dresses and pulled out a very short pink dress. “Try this one.”
Liechtenstein eyed the hemline. “I don’t think I could pull it off like you could.”
“Puh-lease girlfriend, with those legs?” demanded Poland. “You like, totally could pull off a mini.”
“I don’t think big brother would like it,” Liechtenstein said, though not very firmly. The champagne was making her feel marvelously light-headed and was making her think particularly foolishly. She had been a country just as long as Switzerland and though she adored her self-proclaimed big brother, she surely didn’t have to be as antisocial as he was. “But… maybe something under the knee?”
Oh yeah, two inches shorter than her usual dress. Rar, watch out for this spirit of rebellion.
“With-without stockings,” she said firmly.
“Ohmigawd, we’re like, totally getting through to her!” exclaimed Poland, doing a little victory dance. “Like, your hair is totally light enough so you don’t have to, but if you like, need to shave your legs, Seychelles could like, totally hook you up.”
Belgium popped in (Liechtenstein hadn’t noticed she’d left) wearing a very pretty blue dress and carrying a box of chocolates. Liechtenstein helped herself while Belgium joined in the discussion of what Liechtenstein ought to wear.
The chocolates were really quite tasty, though they had nothing on Switzerland’s, in Liechtenstein’s very biased opinion.
“-well, like, she’ll just have to try them on so we can see!” exclaimed Poland.
Liechtenstein licked the chocolate off of her fingertips. Poland held out the miniskirt dress. Well, why not? thought Liechtenstein. She was a banking country too. She could keep her secrets just as well as Switzerland. Thus emboldened, she took that one to the bathroom first and tried to feel empowered by the floofy pink taffeta miniskirt instead of confused as to how she was supposed to zip up her dress and tie it with a sash at the same time.
“Oh, Poland, it’s perfect!” exclaimed Hungary, once Liechtenstein emerged, sans stockings.
“I know right?” replied Poland, with all due modesty.
“It really looks alright?” asked Liechtenstein, a little nervously.
“No duh!” said Poland. “It’s so totally rad. Belgium, can you, like, hook Liech here with some shoes? Also, we’ve got to get you a nickname. Liechtenstein, like, sucks to say everytime I wanna get your attention.”
They all, for no readily apparent reason, drifted over to Belgium’s room to do make-up and hair and to envy Belgium’s huge shoe collection.
“Yo, Swizterland isn’t going to go totally postal on us for this, is he?” asked Poland, once he had found ‘the like, totally perfect kitten heels for Liech-who-needs-a-better-nickname’ and Taiwan had made Liechtenstein wear make-up for the first time. “Because, for realsies, I don’t want blood on my pink taffeta.”
“It’ll be fine,” said Taiwan, carefully touching up Liechtenstein’s pink eye shadow.
“I’m so sure.”
“Look, the dress is chic, not slutty. Switzerland may glare at you through the sight of his rifle, but he won’t actually pull the trigger.”
“Nah, classic Switzerland is shooting before sighting, amirite?” asked Poland, still unconvinced.
“Yeah,” said Belgium, with a hiccup. “I mean, no. I c’n see Liechtenstein’s knees so he might just… do the postal service thingy.”
“Great,” said Poland, wrinkling his nose. “Liechtenstein, sweetie, dry-clean that for me when you’re done with it.”
Re: Puh-lease Girlfriend 5b/?
anonymous
July 10 2009, 16:04:47 UTC
OH MY GOD.
I am loving this whole prompt! The girls of Hetalia need more love, and this is one of the funniest things I've read, ever. And YAY for Liechtenstein showing her knees! (Also, LOL POLAND. XD)
Liechtenstein preferred spending world conferences with her brother, listening to the other nations argue rather than getting involved in anything herself. It thus came as a great surprise when, after dinner, Hungary asked if she wanted to get together with some of the other female nations for drinks and desert.
Liechtenstein instinctively looked up at Switzerland.
He scowled. Liechtenstein could just imagine his thought process. Hungary had been married to Austria and still seemed to spend most of her time with him. On the other hand, if Switzerland let Liechtenstein go, he wouldn’t have to pay for desert. But, then again, he didn’t like having Liechtenstein out of his sight, in the hands of Austria’s ally-
Hungary smiled very sweetly. “You’re going to France’s party, right? We’re going in a group and we can restore her to you then!”
“You’re going to a party, big brother?” asked Liechtenstein, somewhat amazed.
“Unwillingly,” he replied. “I won’t go if you don’t want to.”
“I-I didn’t bring anything special to wear, but it might be nice to go and see it.”
Switzerland hesitated a moment and said, “Alright, if you want to do it. I’ll be cleaning my guns in my room if you need me.”
“Will you have time to finish all of them before the party?” asked Liechtenstein.
“If I hurry. See you then.” He dropped a chaste kiss on her forehead, but watched suspiciously as Hungary pulled Liechtenstein away.
“And not to worry about not having anything to wear,” Hungary said cheerfully, looking quite nonchalant about the size of Switzerland’s traveling artillery. “If we can’t find anything for you, Poland can.”
“Oh,” Liechtenstein said, a little startled. “Th-thank you.”
Hungary’s room was the same as the ones any of the other nations had, save for an elegant bouquet of tulips and edelweiss on her bedside table, next to a beribboned box, a larger bed, a frying pan on the dresser and several bottles, glasses, plates and forks on the desk.
“Anything to drink?” asked Hungary, taking off her beret and shaking out her long, gorgeous brown hair. Liechtenstein suddenly regretted cutting off her braids. “I have plum Pálinka from home. It’s a fruit brandy mixed with honey. It’s very sweet, you might like it. Belarus always brings three or four bottles of vodka, Taiwan… actually, don’t drink anything Taiwan gives you. Then there’s the usual wines-”
“Could-could I try some champagne?” Liechtenstein asked, a little timidly. She sat on the edge of the bed, trying to take up as little space as possible. “I’ve never tried it; my brother doesn’t buy it and Monaco drinks it by the crate so it must be... at least I think-”
Hungary laughed and took several little cakes out of the beribboned box by the flowers. “Not to worry, little one. You can drink a bottle if you want. We might as well indulge ourselves for an evening. I actually have some in case Monaco dropped in, but her boss seems to be embroiled in yet another paternity suit. Well, better Prince Albert than Berlusconi. Poor little Italy! Romano was more snappish than a turtle.”
As Hungary filled a delicate, fluted glass with champagne, Taiwan and Seychelles wandered in and, to Lichtenstein’s surprise, there was much high-pitched rejoicing. Belgium slipped in almost unnoticed, and Belarus, entering with her arms full of vodka bottles, announced that Ukraine was coming later.
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“That is because Ukraine has nothing interesting to say,” replied Belarus, setting down the bottles.
“She was dating Canada for a while,” pointed out Taiwan, flopping down on the bed and propping her chin in her hands.
“Wh-Canada?” Belarus smiled-though it seemed too sharp, somehow to be a smile-and said, “Ha, she mistakes Canada for his brother.”
“You’re too hard on Canada,” said Belgium, albeit mildly, from the deskchair. “Have you ever tried his maple syrup? It’s delicious when you lick it off-”
“Belgium!” exclaimed Hungary, shooting warning looks in Liechtenstein’s direction.
“-your fingers?” continued Belgium, in some confusion. “What did you think I was going to say, Hungary?”
“The way I’m used to using it,” said Hungary, blushing suddenly.
“Ooh,” said Seychelles, brightly. “I know what you mean. Canada brought some to give to Cuba when he went on vacation, but there was some sort of mix-up at security and he ended up coming-to stay with me! Hungary, I didn’t mean that!”
Hungary held out her glass to Belarus for a shot of vodka. “I didn’t say anything, but just… let’s not shock poor Liechtenstein. Switzerland already doubts I’m a good chaperone.”
“I don’t quite see what’s wrong about coming with maple syrup,” said Liechtenstein.
“Nothing at all,” said Hungary, choking a little on her vodka . “It’s just a little sticky. So, Seychelles, how was it?”
“Sweet, but kind of forgettable. Of course, he also brought a couple of six-packs of Molson Lager and I hadn’t eaten anything when we opened them up, so it might not have been his fault.”
“If Ukraine likes him, he would be forgettable,” said Belarus. “Vodka?”
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“I don’t quite see what’s wrong about coming with maple syrup,” said Liechtenstein.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwww~ That's so naively cute! Don't let Vash here about it though! XD
F5F5F5F5-ing~
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“I’ll have a little,” said Ukraine, coming in and shutting the door behind her.
“Oh, I got little drink umbrellas!” said Seychelles and promptly dropped them into the glasses of straight vodka. She gave one to Lichtenstein, who dutifully added it to her flute of champagne. “Aren’t they cute? Unfortunately it’s all I’ve been able to afford since America passed on his economic recession to me, the bastard.”
“It’s amazing how America gets around,” agreed Taiwan. She sighed. “And I thought Japan used to be bad. I miss him.”
“Don’t ask her about Japan,” whispered Hungary, leaning down towards Liechtenstein. “Also, don’t ask Belarus about her brother. None of us are drunk enough yet for either of those stories.” Hungary raised her voice. “Oh, have you met America’s new boss yet? He’s so charming! And he didn’t try to feel up Merkel, which had Germany and Prussia up in arms. I swear, it was worse than the time I asked for Nutella and those two and Austria spent three weeks arguing about the gender of its article. Das Nutella? Die Nutella? Der Nutella?”
“I love Nutella,” said Belgium, “no matter its gender.”
As it turned out, most of them loved Obama too, and this opened up a general discussion on who had the most interesting boss and, what was even more highly debated, who had the most annoying boss. This degenerated into general gossip about their bosses, which was what Ukraine clearly came for; she had a woman as her prime minister and showed them a clip of her boss, a gorgeous woman with a golden braid wrapped around her head like a crown, breaking a jail window.
This apparently provided a perfect segue for everyone to start complaining about the men in their lives.
“I swear, if brother cuts off my gas one more time, after all the trouble my boss has had with it, I don’t know what I’ll do!” exclaimed Ukraine.
“That won’t happen once brother and I are marriedmarriedmarried,” said Belarus, with terrifying earnestness. Belgium very quietly took the open vodka bottle and scooted her chair away from Belarus.
“Oh no,” muttered Hungary. “Here, have more champagne, Liechtenstein, you’ll need it.”
Belarus launched into what appeared to be an oft-repeated ramble on marrying her brother. Liechtenstein carefully sipped at her champagne. It filled her with such a pleasant, relaxed feeling. She was painfully shy; being around all the other nations had terrified her but now it seemed fine. They were all very sweet and it was interesting, hearing about all this. Big brother probably wouldn't approve, but she didn't have to tell him, the way she didn't ask him to play soccer with her. Machine guns just slowed you down when trying to score goals and it was annoying to have to look out for bullets when she was trying not to trip over the ball. This was actually turning out to be very nice. Liechtenstein thought she might even try and say something without being directly addressed. She tuned back into the conversation.
“-it’s those stupid locks on the door. I’ll break it down eventually and I will be one with Russia-”
Hungary looked pained and rubbed at a scar on the back of her hand.
Taiwan caught the gesture and, looking more anxious than before, interrupted, “General question to the room! Out of anyone you dated, who was the best?”
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Awwwwwwwww~ Liechtenstein!!! Love how this is going, hahahaa~ Girl talks. Yea, it always go that way. Gossips and such, and I love Nutella!!!
Hahaha~ recaptcha really is reading this fill: by agreements
Yup, now let's all talk about the guys dated...
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“I say Japan,” said Taiwan, with a little sigh. “That was being courted! He showered me with presents even though I was so resentful he was there at first and had torn me away from big brother China-”
“Oh, if you want being courted, no one can top Austria,” Hungary interrupted. “He wrote me concertos and made me cakes, and all that without any treaty to spur him on.”
“Tch, if Vietnam or Monaco were here, they’d agree that France was the best,” said Sechyelles stoutly. “He had charm. Don’t you agree Belgium?”
Belgium had finished off the entire bottle of vodka, out of, Liechtenstein thought, the misguided attempt to save Belarus from temptation, and was now extremely drunk. “Wha-wha I wanna know ish… Russia. Dus’he really have five meters?”
“Does he?” asked Belarus, her eyes suddenly lighting up. Then, just as suddenly, she pulled out a knife and demanded, “Where did you hear that? Has big brother-”
Hungary deftly took the knife away. “No, she means Prussia and no, he doesn’t. It’s again a matter of Austrian superiority though-” she couldn’t quite stifle a giggle “-that doesn’t leave the room.”
Taiwan grinned. “Of course not. Liechtenstein, what about you?”
Liechtenstein chocked on her last bit of champagne. “Me? I….” She began to blush.
“Don’t be shy,” said Ukraine, kindly. “It won’t leave the room.”
“I… I don’t know.” A little helplessly, she said, “I really wouldn’t. I’ve never even been kissed.”
“What, never been kissed?” asked Seychelles. “Not at all? Never?”
“N-no,” said Liechtenstein, startled. “Never.”
This raised a shocking uproar. Everyone appeared to be surprised and offended on her behalf, their confusing outrage convincing Liechtenstein that male nations were really only interested in breasts-or, huge tracts of land, as Hungary called them, neither of which Liechtenstein had. Belgium even went so far as to pinch Liechtenstein’s cheek and protest, “But you’re so cuuuuuuuuuuuuute!”
“You sounded like Spain,” said Belarus.
“Don’t speak Spanish, parlez francais.” Belgium tilted her head to the side and said, “But, speaking of France, there’s a thingy.”
“Party,” supplied Taiwan.
“Th’thing.”
“You sounded like Sweden,” said Belarus.
“And you sound like a brok’n record,” Belgium said, with unusual boldness. “But… um. Th’thing. The one France is doing. Um… oh I just had it. Are we all going?”
“Yes-oh, we could set you up with someone!” exclaimed Seychelles, beaming. Liechtenstein stared at her in wide-eyed alarm. Seychelles was undaunted. “Hungary, couldn’t we?”
“Switzerland’s going to kill us,” pointed out Ukraine.
“I’d like to see him try,” said Belarus.
“I wouldn’t,” replied Ukraine.
“I… it… might be nice,” Liechtenstein said timidly. “The… setting up bit, not big brother shooting everyone. We don’t get out much. But not… just a dance, if that’s alright. I don’t really want anything more, because Vash would kill them and I think that might ruin the party.”
“Have you been to one of France’s parties?” asked Seychelles.
“With Switzerland as her brother?” asked Taiwan, skeptically. “Not likely.”
“Oh, well, attempted homicide is just part of the atmosphere.”
“O-oh,” squeaked out Liechtenstein. “Um, maybe-maybe not then, I don’t have anything to wear and I’m not….” She made several vague motions to indicate that she was, unlike the other nations in the room, less than well endowed and considerably shorter than most of them.
“Oh, hm,” said Hungary. “That is a… ah, Poland! Hell have something in your size.”
"... he will?"
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You writer!anon had me sitting here laughing throughout the WHOLE conversation! Ah, Liechtenstein's so adorable! Belgium~~~~~~~~~ Lololololol~
Next update please~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
I'm so sorry for that incoherent things because this anon has been laughing too much and her brain cracked~
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“Aw, you’ve brought me someone to dress up? Like, ohmigawd, Hungary! You’re the best ever!” Poland embraced Hungary enthusiastically and then turned to Liechtenstein. Poland was wearing a plaid miniskirt under his sweater. Liechtenstein stared. He had really nice legs. “Oh, hey, Switzerland’s little sis? Too cute. I’ve wanted to get you out of those Victorian-style dresses for years. I mean, cute, but, like, let’s change with the times!”
“Um, alright,” Liechtenstein agreed.
“Sweet. So, like, come in already!”
The entire group of women (sans Belarus, who had drunkenly wandered off to find her brother) did so and began sprawling over every available surface. Hungary refreshed all of their drinks. Liechtenstein thought she probably oughtn’t to have a third glass of champagne, but it was really quite tasty, even if it wasn’t sweet.
As Poland sorted through his closet, he kept a running commentary on all the other nations’ relationships. “So like, I was trying to convince Liet to just, y’know hang out and see what happened, ‘cause though we’re totes biffles and all, I, like, miss the commonwealth, when I saw Northern Italy totally running around without pants and Germany chasing after him with pants, and, in fact, Italy’s pants, but without a shirt. And they totally had, like matching underwear.”
“Oh, how cute!” exclaimed Hungary, eyes shining.
“Northern Italy often seems to run around without pants,” observed Liechtenstein. “He wanders into our home and big brother shoots at him.” She thought a moment and said, “At least he was wearing underwear this time.”
Poland looked gleeful as he plopped a bundle of dresses down on the bed. “Ha, good for Northern Italy! He’s like, a total sweetheart, but, like, a total spaz and spacier than Greece sometimes. Speaking of Greece, I saw him totally coming out of Japan’s room this morning.”
“He could have just mistaken his room number again,” Taiwan protested, looking stricken. “Greece is kind of ditzy.”
“No duh, he’s, like, a total space cadet. I swear there are like, colonies of Greek people on Mars. So, Liechtenstein, stand up and let me like, see you and stuff.” Poland studied her as Liechtenstein executed a clumsy, slow pirouette. “Ooh, nice. We’re like, almost exactly the same size, though you’ll have to get shoes from someone else. Oh, try this one-” brandishing a spaghetti-strapped blue dress in her direction “-you might look even cuter in it than I do!”
“I don’t think I could,” Liechtenstein protested, wide-eyed. The skirt showed her knees.
“Well, I guess pinks and greens are more your style, but blue can be nice,” said Seychelles.
“I’d prefer pink, I think,” said Liechtenstein.
“Well, like, you totally came to the right person. You can bum, like, seventy-billion pink dresses off of me.”
“I’d just need one,” said Liechtenstein.
Poland had already zeroed in on what he thought to be the best of his dresses and held them up for inspection. “What do you think?”
Taiwan crossed her legs, causing her skirt to slide up and reveal the flower tattoo on her thigh. “Not the first one, but the rest would look cute on Liechtenstein.”
“Why a dress?” asked Ukraine. “Really though, pants are more comfortable.”
“When I wear uniforms, though, people mistake me for a boy,” Liechtenstein said, quite terrified of that happening again.
“There’s totally no shame in not having, like, huge tracts of land,” said Poland. “You can hide it, like, really easily with an empire waistline or some ruffles, if you’re feeling daring, or, like… just pulling attention to another area. Like, even if I keep being partitioned, I still have a pretty svelte figure, right?”
“Yes?” said Liechtenstein.
“Totally. So like, show some leg, girlfriend!”
“If you say so.”
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“Like, I totally say so.” He rummaged through his selected dresses and pulled out a very short pink dress. “Try this one.”
Liechtenstein eyed the hemline. “I don’t think I could pull it off like you could.”
“Puh-lease girlfriend, with those legs?” demanded Poland. “You like, totally could pull off a mini.”
“I don’t think big brother would like it,” Liechtenstein said, though not very firmly. The champagne was making her feel marvelously light-headed and was making her think particularly foolishly. She had been a country just as long as Switzerland and though she adored her self-proclaimed big brother, she surely didn’t have to be as antisocial as he was. “But… maybe something under the knee?”
Oh yeah, two inches shorter than her usual dress. Rar, watch out for this spirit of rebellion.
“With-without stockings,” she said firmly.
“Ohmigawd, we’re like, totally getting through to her!” exclaimed Poland, doing a little victory dance. “Like, your hair is totally light enough so you don’t have to, but if you like, need to shave your legs, Seychelles could like, totally hook you up.”
Belgium popped in (Liechtenstein hadn’t noticed she’d left) wearing a very pretty blue dress and carrying a box of chocolates. Liechtenstein helped herself while Belgium joined in the discussion of what Liechtenstein ought to wear.
The chocolates were really quite tasty, though they had nothing on Switzerland’s, in Liechtenstein’s very biased opinion.
“-well, like, she’ll just have to try them on so we can see!” exclaimed Poland.
Liechtenstein licked the chocolate off of her fingertips. Poland held out the miniskirt dress. Well, why not? thought Liechtenstein. She was a banking country too. She could keep her secrets just as well as Switzerland. Thus emboldened, she took that one to the bathroom first and tried to feel empowered by the floofy pink taffeta miniskirt instead of confused as to how she was supposed to zip up her dress and tie it with a sash at the same time.
“Oh, Poland, it’s perfect!” exclaimed Hungary, once Liechtenstein emerged, sans stockings.
“I know right?” replied Poland, with all due modesty.
“It really looks alright?” asked Liechtenstein, a little nervously.
“No duh!” said Poland. “It’s so totally rad. Belgium, can you, like, hook Liech here with some shoes? Also, we’ve got to get you a nickname. Liechtenstein, like, sucks to say everytime I wanna get your attention.”
They all, for no readily apparent reason, drifted over to Belgium’s room to do make-up and hair and to envy Belgium’s huge shoe collection.
“Yo, Swizterland isn’t going to go totally postal on us for this, is he?” asked Poland, once he had found ‘the like, totally perfect kitten heels for Liech-who-needs-a-better-nickname’ and Taiwan had made Liechtenstein wear make-up for the first time. “Because, for realsies, I don’t want blood on my pink taffeta.”
“It’ll be fine,” said Taiwan, carefully touching up Liechtenstein’s pink eye shadow.
“I’m so sure.”
“Look, the dress is chic, not slutty. Switzerland may glare at you through the sight of his rifle, but he won’t actually pull the trigger.”
“Nah, classic Switzerland is shooting before sighting, amirite?” asked Poland, still unconvinced.
“Yeah,” said Belgium, with a hiccup. “I mean, no. I c’n see Liechtenstein’s knees so he might just… do the postal service thingy.”
“Great,” said Poland, wrinkling his nose. “Liechtenstein, sweetie, dry-clean that for me when you’re done with it.”
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Oh yeah, two inches shorter than her usual dress. Rar, watch out for this spirit of rebellion.
Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah~ You go girl! \o/
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I swear Poland talking just cracks me up every friggin' time.
And Liechtenstein being "rebellious" ROFL OH MAN.
Just all the girls together- They need much more love, AM I RIGHT, GALS, AM I RIGHT.
I can't wait for the party, too 8,D I wonder if they're gonna end up setting cute lil' Liechtenstein with anyone?
Can't wait for more!
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This anon would like to see a jealous Switzerland when he sees his sister at a party with somebody. Haha. x3
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I am loving this whole prompt! The girls of Hetalia need more love, and this is one of the funniest things I've read, ever. And YAY for Liechtenstein showing her knees! (Also, LOL POLAND. XD)
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