Red Fall: 25/25
anonymous
June 30 2009, 02:03:30 UTC
It had taken almost twenty years, but the United Soviet- American People’s Republic had conquered all of the world’s major powers. It had taken great sacrifices and ingenious military skill, but they had triumphed, and the beginnings of a new world lay at their feet.
Alfred served as Ivan’s right-hand man, his closest confident and friend, his lover even, the blonde would sometimes bashfully admit. Everything had come together for them; at the top of the world, the view was beautiful, and Ivan was his sun amongst the clouds.
The bespectacled man smiled as he made his way down the hallway, his perfectly shined black boots clicking on the floor beneath him. He sighed blissfully.
One couldn’t help but wonder how everything came together so perfectly.
He opened the storage room door; he was looking for a vase to put the new batch of sunflowers in. Ivan had instructed him to only look in the main storage area, but he just couldn’t find the right vase, so he strayed into the older rooms.
Alfred glowed; Ivan would be so happy!
Rummaging through the old boxes, the former American wiped away the dust as he continued to search. A metallic tinkle caught his attention. Squinting and fumbling through the crate, he discovered it was a pair of old dog tags. He wiped away the caked on grime and rust with his thumb, scraping when needed with his nail, though he couldn’t get all of it off. Finally, he was able to make out a few words.
Smith Private First Class Blood Type O
Click.
Alfred collapsed to his knees as everything came rushing back.
/End. (Pages-30, Words-11,647)
Crap, this totally needs a sequel now (And the ending was six pages long; LOL, whut?). XD I didn’t intend for it to sound so…cliffhangery, but, yeah. *angsts over sequel neediness* I don’t even know how it would continue. ^^;
Anyway, I want to thank all of you guys for your amazing comments over the course of this story! As a first time poster, and a fledging, hopeful writer, they really meant a lot. <3 And now I have a collection of internets, broken heart pieces, an abused caps lock and…a soul? I should probably give that back. ^^;
A special thanks to the OP for an awesome prompt. ;D
A-Anon hopes the ending was satisfying and the story enjoyable; please leave comments if you thought so!
If you have a question about the story post it here and I will be more than happy to answer; if we run out of comment space you could always e-mail me at aslywriter@yahoo.com if you still have questions or want to discuss the story. I still remain anonymous (the account contains no identifying material), as the rules request, so I thought it was appropriate.
Re: Red Fall: 25/25
anonymous
June 30 2009, 02:09:13 UTC
fsdakfjadsfa;asfdas
A-Anon! Why ;_; You have completely and utterly broken my heart and--guh.
I loved reading it. But at the same time... T_T
For a first time poster and a fledging writer, you did extraordinarily well. And, well, this anon would fucking love a sequel. You left it at the perfect spot for a sequel and this...it's just so sad. Please...it's just so heart breaking as is T___T
OP IS SPEECHLESS
anonymous
June 30 2009, 02:33:09 UTC
HOLY FUCKING SHIT WORLD DOMINATION HAS NEVER BEEN SEXIER i totally didn't expect this lol even though it's so heart breaking (omg poor Liet) but Alfred seems so happy especially when Russia called him Alfred for the first time. To think Russia and America against the rest of the world is ... kinda scary/awesome.
A-Anon ILU for this and THANKYOUTHANKYOU FOR FILLING MY REQUEST >.< you surpassed my expectations and blown me away every time you update. And you updated everyday. HOW DO YOU DO THIS?
and I would LOVE LOVE LOVEEE that sequel!! Cause that ending is ... soo cruel D: WHAT DOES THIS DOGTAG IT MEAN!?!?! What happen to Liet's eye?? WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ALFRED?
Re: Red Fall: 25/25
anonymous
June 30 2009, 02:45:48 UTC
as a fellow hopeful writer I have to say that this really impressed me (and I'm something of a literary snob, so that usually is quite hard to do) - there were only a few things here and there I found worthy of critique, but unless you'd like I won't mar this compliment with tiny critical details. Really, I love what you did with the amnesia bit (and that usually is something of a overused trope that I cringe when I see, but you used it so WELL that it worked perfectly), and Alfred calling Ivan "mother" was an incredibly creepy/evocative touch. I also must say I'm very fond of your shy!Al, and loved the bit with Arthur (authorial voice sounded very much like him). Keep up the great work!
Also Wants to Do A Comic...
anonymous
June 30 2009, 05:17:34 UTC
And this NEEDS a sequel, pleasepleaseplease!
God, I stayed up till 1:15 AM reading this. o.o This story just grabbed me and refused to let go. I'm so happy it was finished by the time I got to the end. And what an ending! I thought I was a great writer until I got to this story...the loss of sleep was definitely more than worth it.
I beg you, do a sequel. I will happily add my soul to your collection as well as fanart.
(reCaptcha says manilas $200,000. Does it want me to send you money...?)
Re: Red Fall: 25/25
anonymous
June 30 2009, 16:06:39 UTC
That was intense, man!(or woman)D: I loved the declarations of war! America and Russia working together would probably be the the most frightening thing EVER. I have to agree with everyone else, DO A SEQUEL!!! I want to know how Alfred will react to his memories, if Ivan will continue to surpress them or if the Baltics still have a microscopic shred of hope. What happened to the invaded countries, were they brainwashed or killed? Answer these in your sequel, if you do I'll give you my glasses. (If you don't need them, give them back I only have one pair.)
Not only do you want me to do a sequel, but I have two people who want to do art?
*squeals* OMGWTFBBQ
Well then, given that every seems to agree, I'd be more than happy to do a sequel. <3 The first part won't be up until Thursday, due to the fact I won't have internet tommorrow, or at the very latest Friday. Just check the fill page on either of those days.
Also, while I'm starting an internship, I'll still attempt to update daily, or at least bi-daily for you guys. Because you're awesome (like Prussia)! :D
...And how did you guys know that I was a sucker for art? ;^;
Alfred served as Ivan’s right-hand man, his closest confident and friend, his lover even, the blonde would sometimes bashfully admit. Everything had come together for them; at the top of the world, the view was beautiful, and Ivan was his sun amongst the clouds.
The bespectacled man smiled as he made his way down the hallway, his perfectly shined black boots clicking on the floor beneath him. He sighed blissfully.
One couldn’t help but wonder how everything came together so perfectly.
He opened the storage room door; he was looking for a vase to put the new batch of sunflowers in. Ivan had instructed him to only look in the main storage area, but he just couldn’t find the right vase, so he strayed into the older rooms.
Alfred glowed; Ivan would be so happy!
Rummaging through the old boxes, the former American wiped away the dust as he continued to search. A metallic tinkle caught his attention. Squinting and fumbling through the crate, he discovered it was a pair of old dog tags. He wiped away the caked on grime and rust with his thumb, scraping when needed with his nail, though he couldn’t get all of it off. Finally, he was able to make out a few words.
Smith
Private First Class
Blood Type O
Click.
Alfred collapsed to his knees as everything came rushing back.
/End. (Pages-30, Words-11,647)
Crap, this totally needs a sequel now (And the ending was six pages long; LOL, whut?). XD I didn’t intend for it to sound so…cliffhangery, but, yeah. *angsts over sequel neediness* I don’t even know how it would continue. ^^;
Anyway, I want to thank all of you guys for your amazing comments over the course of this story! As a first time poster, and a fledging, hopeful writer, they really meant a lot. <3 And now I have a collection of internets, broken heart pieces, an abused caps lock and…a soul? I should probably give that back. ^^;
A special thanks to the OP for an awesome prompt. ;D
A-Anon hopes the ending was satisfying and the story enjoyable; please leave comments if you thought so!
If you have a question about the story post it here and I will be more than happy to answer; if we run out of comment space you could always e-mail me at aslywriter@yahoo.com if you still have questions or want to discuss the story. I still remain anonymous (the account contains no identifying material), as the rules request, so I thought it was appropriate.
~A-Anon
Reply
A-Anon! Why ;_; You have completely and utterly broken my heart and--guh.
I loved reading it. But at the same time... T_T
For a first time poster and a fledging writer, you did extraordinarily well. And, well, this anon would fucking love a sequel. You left it at the perfect spot for a sequel and this...it's just so sad. Please...it's just so heart breaking as is T___T
Reply
I have a question...why was it that dog tag that brought the memories back? Who's Smith? Did I miss something? :-/
Still would love a sequel *nag nag* ♥
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OMG THIS! HERE! AHHHHHH! OH God this needs a sequel. This needs a sequel like burning!!!
F5's forever!
Recaptcha: Absolute Meteque? Strangely appropriate.
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WORLD DOMINATION HAS NEVER BEEN SEXIER i totally didn't expect this lol
even though it's so heart breaking (omg poor Liet) but Alfred seems so happy especially when Russia called him Alfred for the first time. To think Russia and America against the rest of the world is ... kinda scary/awesome.
A-Anon ILU for this and THANKYOUTHANKYOU FOR FILLING MY REQUEST >.< you surpassed my expectations and blown me away every time you update. And you updated everyday. HOW DO YOU DO THIS?
and I would LOVE LOVE LOVEEE that sequel!! Cause that ending is ... soo cruel D: WHAT DOES THIS DOGTAG IT MEAN!?!?! What happen to Liet's eye?? WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ALFRED?
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I just realized ... of all the things that would get Alfred to remember is a dogtag of one of his people. DAMN THAT IS GENIUS
btw OP is interested in drawing this whole story out AND the sequel too if you do plan on writing it!! Drawing as in a comic :D
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I think a sequel would be absolutely lovely~
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God, I stayed up till 1:15 AM reading this. o.o This story just grabbed me and refused to let go. I'm so happy it was finished by the time I got to the end. And what an ending! I thought I was a great writer until I got to this story...the loss of sleep was definitely more than worth it.
I beg you, do a sequel. I will happily add my soul to your collection as well as fanart.
(reCaptcha says manilas $200,000. Does it want me to send you money...?)
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There are no other words for it.
SEQUELPLEEEAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEE!
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I loved the declarations of war! America and Russia working together would probably be the the most frightening thing EVER.
I have to agree with everyone else, DO A SEQUEL!!!
I want to know how Alfred will react to his memories, if Ivan will continue to surpress them or if the Baltics still have a microscopic shred of hope.
What happened to the invaded countries, were they brainwashed or killed?
Answer these in your sequel, if you do I'll give you my glasses.
(If you don't need them, give them back I only have one pair.)
Reply
Not only do you want me to do a sequel, but I have two people who want to do art?
*squeals* OMGWTFBBQ
Well then, given that every seems to agree, I'd be more than happy to do a sequel. <3 The first part won't be up until Thursday, due to the fact I won't have internet tommorrow, or at the very latest Friday. Just check the fill page on either of those days.
Also, while I'm starting an internship, I'll still attempt to update daily, or at least bi-daily for you guys. Because you're awesome (like Prussia)! :D
...And how did you guys know that I was a sucker for art? ;^;
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