Buono Tomato [1/?]
anonymous
June 22 2009, 15:36:20 UTC
This is the potential writer!anon from above :) I know this isn't much, but the next bit will change to Spain's POV. I'm not sure when I'll get that written...with any luck it'll be tonight, but we'll see what happens. For now, enjoy the first part...and I apologize for the crack ahead of time.
--
Romano had decided that visiting Spain’s house would be a fun, relaxing idea. He’d get away from his idiotic brother and that potato bastard…get some free meals…create a mess that he didn’t have to clean. Perfect. And it was going perfectly until Spain told Romano to make himself at home while he went out grocery shopping. Of course, Romano was invited to join him, but the Italian quickly decided that staying in Spain’s home would be a lot less irritating than spending time in that overly chaotic supermarket.
Not one to sit around lamenting about his state of boredom when no one was around to listen, Romano decided to snoop around in the hopes of finding some…entertaining reading material. The only thing he found was some Spanish magazine called El Tomate, but it was better than nothing.
Romano flipped through the magazine, silently berating himself for having let his Spanish go, since he could only understand one word here or there. He thought about closing the magazine and finding something else to entertain himself with, but an interesting picture caught his eye.
“What. the. hell,” he breathed, staring at the image of a tomato with devil horns and tail that had been poorly photo-manipulated on. He focused on the article, trying desperately to gain comprehension of the foreign language, and he finally realized that it was an advertisement. An advertisement advertising a website stating that tomatoes were evil. An advertisement desecrating the almost-holy tomato in a magazine devoted to lovers of tomatoes. What were they thinking, advertising such a blasphemous website in the magazine?
Incensed, Romano refused to leave it be. That’s right…he had to see this abomination for himself. So, with the determination of one who vowed to forever save the day, he set off in search of Spain’s computer. Upon finding it (and really, couldn’t Spain upgrade the dinosaur to something a little less…2000 and a little more 2009?) and pulling up the website, Romano was angrier than he had been in years. So angry, in fact, that he would later blame his next few actions on temporary insanity.
Re: Buono Tomato [1/?]
anonymous
June 22 2009, 16:37:38 UTC
Lolololol~ Not OP but pressing that F5 button like a maniac and grinning like an idiot for updates! This... this! I can see lulzy crack and, and... Ah~ Just please continue on! I'll camp here and jamming my finger at the "update" button. =D
OMG anon. Te amo♥♥♥. It's so easy to image Lovino being like that and omg, that last sentence makes me think of the lulz to come and squirm on my seat in anticipation. And I love the title.
Worry not about the crack and write at your own pace, I shall wait! ♥
Unfortunately, it seems I'm going to have you squirming in anticipation longer than I expected...I seem to have contracted a really nasty perpetual headache which makes it quite difficult to write :(
I'm so sorry for the unexpected delay and I promise to get more up as soon as possible ♥
Buono Tomato [2/?]
anonymous
June 26 2009, 19:30:01 UTC
Author!Anon thanks you for being patient, OP. I really am sorry for the unexpected delay.
--
Spain had been told time and time again that he was oblivious and never noticed anything that happened under his nose. What everyone didn’t realize was that he wasn’t the completely oblivious, he just preferred focusing on other things. That being said, the moment he entered his house, his arms full of groceries, he immediately felt the murderous chill in the air. “Romano!” He called out cheerfully, his tone giving no indication that he noticed something wrong. There was no response, worrying Spain slightly. Quickly he went to the kitchen to put the groceries down. He dimly noted that his perpetually full basket of tomatoes was missing, but wasted no time in wondering why, more worried about Romano.
“Romano?” He called again, leaving the kitchen slowly. He stopped suddenly, noticing an odd trail of red…substance leading from his kitchen to one of his offices. Carefully, he bent down and ran his finger through the liquid, bringing it to his lips, releasing a sigh of relief when he realized it was tomato juice and not blood. “Romano?” He repeated as he stood up, cautiously making his way to the office.
There, sitting in Spain’s computer chair as if it were a throne, was Romano, wearing an Italian suit that Spain didn’t remember him showing up in. The basket of tomatoes sat at the Italian’s feet, though Spain noted that one had exploded over his computer screen. In the Italian’s hand was a phone, and he was currently yelling into it a mile a minute in Italian. Spain tilted his head, translating in his mind since Romano had not yet noticed his presence.
“I don’t care if I told you to disband your organization! Obviously you didn’t since you evil muffins are still infesting my cities! You owe me for not pushing the subject harder! You owe me and I want someone with knowledge of how to hack websites here ASAP. Capisce?” Spain assumed that the man on the other end of the phone did understand since Romano hung up, muttering something about idiotic underground organizations.
“Romano, what’s going on?” Spain asked when the Italian finished muttering.
Romano turned to Spain, his expression murderous. “You bastard!” He yelled, lunging for Spain’s throat.
Spain took a step backwards, moving out of the Italian's reach, and turning the younger Nation's momentum against him. "What in the world is going on, Romano?" Spain asked, holding the struggling Nation with unexpected strength. "This is so not cute."
Oh author!anon, if I didn't know better (well, I think? XD), I'd say you know me. Because this is perfect! The "evil muffins", the fucking basket of tomatoes at his feet, the suit and just, everything. ♥
(Also, anon above me? I'll be calling him Don Romano or Don Lovino forever now.)
You don't have to thank me about anything, it's quite the other way around. <3 I'll certainly be waiting for more!
Buono Tomato [3/?]
anonymous
June 30 2009, 16:31:29 UTC
Romano struggled in Spain’s arms for a few moments before giving up with a grumbled, “You bastard,” followed by something remarkably similar to a sob.
“Are you crying, Romano?” Spain adjusted his hold on the other Nation so that he was now holding the other in a comforting hug as opposed to a headlock.
“No, you jackass,” the crying Italian muttered, finding the strength to push Spain away. He turned and gave the older Nation a murderous look. “How could you?”
“How could I what?”
“This!” Romano shoved a magazine in Spain’s face. “How could you publish this? I thought…chigi! Dammit Spain! I thought what-I thought that tomatoes would always-how could you betray them! Bastard!” Romano turned away from the confused Spaniard, not wanting the other Nation to see how obviously upset he was.
Spain, feeling fairly confident that Romano wasn’t going to lunge at him again, looked at the magazine, his confusion quickly turning to comprehension. “Romano, I assure you, I knew nothing about this website.”
“Bullshit! It’s in your magazine! You had to have known! How could you let this be published?!”
“Romano, I don’t have a say I what’s published or not. Believe me, I would have stopped the magazine before they helped spread this propaganda.” Spain looked at the article again, noting the poorly photoshopped tomato. “Surely the website isn’t that bad?”
“Take a look, bastard.”
And so Spain did. Spain had always liked the color red. There was a time during the Golden Century when he couldn’t be found not wearing the color. And, just like the misconception that the color red is the trigger for a bull’s anger, the color was once a trigger for Spain’s anger. It had been years since it acted as a trigger. But this website was nothing but red, and this website had nothing good to say about tomatoes. Spain began feeling an anger he hadn’t felt in centuries.
“What unholy creation is this? Who would do such-such-an uncute and horrific and-dare I say-blasphemous act?” Romano opened his mouth to respond, but Spain continued on. “This is unforgivable! What did tomatoes every do to anyone? Tomatoes aren’t evil, people are!” Spain clicked around the website, finally pushing himself away from the desk with an angry sigh. “How come there is no contact page? How can I protect the honor of the glorious tomato if I cannot contact the owner?”
“Move, idiot,” Romano grumbled, pushing Spain out of the way. “Why do you think I called those goons? If anyone can get that information, and take down this abomination, it would be them. But look, idiot, there’s a guestbook where we can post comments and-“
Spain regained control of the computer, ignoring Romano’s grumbled cursing as he began typing away. “There,” He said at last. “How does this look?” Romano peered over Spain’s shoulder to read, trying desperately to avoid another eye roll at the Nation’s technological incompetency.
hELLO. i JUST WANtED TO SAY THAT TOMATOES R WONDERFUL AND HEAVEN SENT AND THIS SITE IS A HUGE LIE!!!!! iF YOU DON’T LIKe THEM, JUST SAY SO, BUT DON’T SPREAD HURTFUL PROPAGANDA!!!! HOW COULD YOU!!!???!
Before Romano could tell Spain to not write in capslock and to use less punctuation, the older Nation had already sent the comment. Romano sighed. At least the point had gotten across.
-- More coming really soon. It's written, I just have to type it up. There will probably be one more part depending on the character count.
Re: Buono Tomato [3/?]
anonymous
October 5 2011, 21:40:54 UTC
just wanted to say, after i read this, i went to the tomato site, and i don't know if it was you or someone else, but someone wrote in the guestbook the exact thing that spain wrote.
If you go a bit farther back, you can see all the hetalia related spam in that guestbook. it is BEAUTIFUL. I love this fandom. <3
Buono Tomato [4/4]
anonymous
June 30 2009, 17:15:28 UTC
There was a sound of someone clearing their throat, and the Nations turned to the doorway, seeing a nervous looking Italian fellow. “Uh, hello, Don Lovino?” The man more asked than said, the murderous expression in the Nations’ eyes making him more nervous than he already was.
“What?” Romano snapped, unable to conceal a smirk when the man paled.
“I was told that I, ah, could be of assistance, sir?”
“Are you good with computers and the Internet?” Spain asked, shooting the man a bright smile that didn’t seem to fit the anger in his eyes.
“Yes, sir, ah--“
“Antonio.”
“Antonio. I’m one of the best around.”
“Then get over here and remove this website!” Romano yelled. The Italian man nodded and hurried over, quickly setting to work on the website. When he was offered a tomato by Spain a few minutes in, he very nearly declined, but considering the website he had been hired to destroy and the anger he could feel coming off in waves from the other two, he took it, thanking the Spaniard whole-heartedly.
--
“I’ve finished, sirs,” the Italian announced an hour later, smiling at his work. “The website has been tweaked to read “I love tomatoes” and to spread information about the goodness that is a tomato. Also, I locked the webmaster out of his account, so he should be unable to get back in and change it back.” Spain and Romano nodded, looking pleased, but the man could see that they still weren’t fully satisfied. Clearing his throat again, he handed Romano a piece of paper with an address on it. “Here’s where the webmaster lives. I’m afraid I was unable to find a name, however.”
Romano took the paper, Spain looking curiously over his shoulder at it. “Hey, Romano, that’s England’s house.”
“So it is,” Romano muttered, staring at the address. “You may go now,” he dismissed the Italian who nodded and quickly left.
“Romano~ Let me go get my axe and we’ll pay our dear friend England a visit. Sound good?”
“Sounds like a plan to me,” Romano grinned, carefully rubbing the gun he had pick pocketed from the Mafia henchman.
--
Canada and Sealand crept quietly in the bushes outside of England’s house, listening to the screams of terror coming from inside.
“Um, Canada? Don’t you think this is going too far, even if it’s that jerk England?”
Canada laughed, petting Sealand gently on the head. “Don’t you think that 400 years of confusing me for my brother is going too far?”
A loud “Spain! Spain! Put the bloody axe down! I didn’t do it!” interrupted the Canadian.
Canada dropped his hand from Sealand’s head, his smile dimming at the boy’s look of concern. “Don’t worry, bro. We’ll stop by to visit for teatime in a few minutes and save England.” A gunshot rang out and Canada smiled again. Serves England right for forgetting about him.
-- Yes, the website was an elaborate plot for Canada and his lackey, Sealand, to get revenge. As I said, I do apologize for the crack but~ I love writing it. Thanks for the wonderful prompt, OP. I hope you enjoyed ♥
BWAHAHAHHAHAA!!!
anonymous
June 30 2009, 18:14:14 UTC
You're ingenious!!! OH GOD!!! I soooooooooooo did not see that coming! Granted I took the bait of England being the culprit. But noooooooooooooo~ It was Canada and Sealand!!!
Writer!anon, you pwn'ed me badly! Ah, to see Spain with his axe waving around again, and Don Lovino! 8DDDDDDDDDD
This is going into the list of my fav kink meme! \o/
Ah, I wish I could offer you something so... Ah... Have a tomato?
--
Romano had decided that visiting Spain’s house would be a fun, relaxing idea. He’d get away from his idiotic brother and that potato bastard…get some free meals…create a mess that he didn’t have to clean. Perfect. And it was going perfectly until Spain told Romano to make himself at home while he went out grocery shopping. Of course, Romano was invited to join him, but the Italian quickly decided that staying in Spain’s home would be a lot less irritating than spending time in that overly chaotic supermarket.
Not one to sit around lamenting about his state of boredom when no one was around to listen, Romano decided to snoop around in the hopes of finding some…entertaining reading material. The only thing he found was some Spanish magazine called El Tomate, but it was better than nothing.
Romano flipped through the magazine, silently berating himself for having let his Spanish go, since he could only understand one word here or there. He thought about closing the magazine and finding something else to entertain himself with, but an interesting picture caught his eye.
“What. the. hell,” he breathed, staring at the image of a tomato with devil horns and tail that had been poorly photo-manipulated on. He focused on the article, trying desperately to gain comprehension of the foreign language, and he finally realized that it was an advertisement. An advertisement advertising a website stating that tomatoes were evil. An advertisement desecrating the almost-holy tomato in a magazine devoted to lovers of tomatoes. What were they thinking, advertising such a blasphemous website in the magazine?
Incensed, Romano refused to leave it be. That’s right…he had to see this abomination for himself. So, with the determination of one who vowed to forever save the day, he set off in search of Spain’s computer. Upon finding it (and really, couldn’t Spain upgrade the dinosaur to something a little less…2000 and a little more 2009?) and pulling up the website, Romano was angrier than he had been in years. So angry, in fact, that he would later blame his next few actions on temporary insanity.
Reply
Reply
Worry not about the crack and write at your own pace, I shall wait! ♥
Reply
Unfortunately, it seems I'm going to have you squirming in anticipation longer than I expected...I seem to have contracted a really nasty perpetual headache which makes it quite difficult to write :(
I'm so sorry for the unexpected delay and I promise to get more up as soon as possible ♥
Reply
Really, I'll wait as long as I need to, there's absolutely no need to apologize <3. Do take care of yourself, author!non ♥.
Reply
--
Spain had been told time and time again that he was oblivious and never noticed anything that happened under his nose. What everyone didn’t realize was that he wasn’t the completely oblivious, he just preferred focusing on other things. That being said, the moment he entered his house, his arms full of groceries, he immediately felt the murderous chill in the air. “Romano!” He called out cheerfully, his tone giving no indication that he noticed something wrong. There was no response, worrying Spain slightly. Quickly he went to the kitchen to put the groceries down. He dimly noted that his perpetually full basket of tomatoes was missing, but wasted no time in wondering why, more worried about Romano.
“Romano?” He called again, leaving the kitchen slowly. He stopped suddenly, noticing an odd trail of red…substance leading from his kitchen to one of his offices. Carefully, he bent down and ran his finger through the liquid, bringing it to his lips, releasing a sigh of relief when he realized it was tomato juice and not blood. “Romano?” He repeated as he stood up, cautiously making his way to the office.
There, sitting in Spain’s computer chair as if it were a throne, was Romano, wearing an Italian suit that Spain didn’t remember him showing up in. The basket of tomatoes sat at the Italian’s feet, though Spain noted that one had exploded over his computer screen. In the Italian’s hand was a phone, and he was currently yelling into it a mile a minute in Italian. Spain tilted his head, translating in his mind since Romano had not yet noticed his presence.
“I don’t care if I told you to disband your organization! Obviously you didn’t since you evil muffins are still infesting my cities! You owe me for not pushing the subject harder! You owe me and I want someone with knowledge of how to hack websites here ASAP. Capisce?” Spain assumed that the man on the other end of the phone did understand since Romano hung up, muttering something about idiotic underground organizations.
“Romano, what’s going on?” Spain asked when the Italian finished muttering.
Romano turned to Spain, his expression murderous. “You bastard!” He yelled, lunging for Spain’s throat.
Spain took a step backwards, moving out of the Italian's reach, and turning the younger Nation's momentum against him. "What in the world is going on, Romano?" Spain asked, holding the struggling Nation with unexpected strength. "This is so not cute."
Reply
Shall await the next update!
Reply
Reply
Not!OP just loves mafia!romano~ he's soooooo KYOOOTTTTT
*waits eagerly for the next chap*
Reply
(Also, anon above me? I'll be calling him Don Romano or Don Lovino forever now.)
You don't have to thank me about anything, it's quite the other way around. <3 I'll certainly be waiting for more!
Reply
I'm glad you're enjoying it, OP ♥
Also, anon above OP and me? He will now forever be Don Romano in my mind, too. Thank you for that ♥
Reply
“Are you crying, Romano?” Spain adjusted his hold on the other Nation so that he was now holding the other in a comforting hug as opposed to a headlock.
“No, you jackass,” the crying Italian muttered, finding the strength to push Spain away. He turned and gave the older Nation a murderous look. “How could you?”
“How could I what?”
“This!” Romano shoved a magazine in Spain’s face. “How could you publish this? I thought…chigi! Dammit Spain! I thought what-I thought that tomatoes would always-how could you betray them! Bastard!” Romano turned away from the confused Spaniard, not wanting the other Nation to see how obviously upset he was.
Spain, feeling fairly confident that Romano wasn’t going to lunge at him again, looked at the magazine, his confusion quickly turning to comprehension. “Romano, I assure you, I knew nothing about this website.”
“Bullshit! It’s in your magazine! You had to have known! How could you let this be published?!”
“Romano, I don’t have a say I what’s published or not. Believe me, I would have stopped the magazine before they helped spread this propaganda.” Spain looked at the article again, noting the poorly photoshopped tomato. “Surely the website isn’t that bad?”
“Take a look, bastard.”
And so Spain did. Spain had always liked the color red. There was a time during the Golden Century when he couldn’t be found not wearing the color. And, just like the misconception that the color red is the trigger for a bull’s anger, the color was once a trigger for Spain’s anger. It had been years since it acted as a trigger. But this website was nothing but red, and this website had nothing good to say about tomatoes. Spain began feeling an anger he hadn’t felt in centuries.
“What unholy creation is this? Who would do such-such-an uncute and horrific and-dare I say-blasphemous act?” Romano opened his mouth to respond, but Spain continued on. “This is unforgivable! What did tomatoes every do to anyone? Tomatoes aren’t evil, people are!” Spain clicked around the website, finally pushing himself away from the desk with an angry sigh. “How come there is no contact page? How can I protect the honor of the glorious tomato if I cannot contact the owner?”
“Move, idiot,” Romano grumbled, pushing Spain out of the way. “Why do you think I called those goons? If anyone can get that information, and take down this abomination, it would be them. But look, idiot, there’s a guestbook where we can post comments and-“
Spain regained control of the computer, ignoring Romano’s grumbled cursing as he began typing away. “There,” He said at last. “How does this look?” Romano peered over Spain’s shoulder to read, trying desperately to avoid another eye roll at the Nation’s technological incompetency.
hELLO. i JUST WANtED TO SAY THAT TOMATOES R WONDERFUL AND HEAVEN SENT AND THIS SITE IS A HUGE LIE!!!!! iF YOU DON’T LIKe THEM, JUST SAY SO, BUT DON’T SPREAD HURTFUL PROPAGANDA!!!! HOW COULD YOU!!!???!
Before Romano could tell Spain to not write in capslock and to use less punctuation, the older Nation had already sent the comment. Romano sighed. At least the point had gotten across.
--
More coming really soon. It's written, I just have to type it up. There will probably be one more part depending on the character count.
Reply
If you go a bit farther back, you can see all the hetalia related spam in that guestbook. it is BEAUTIFUL. I love this fandom. <3
Reply
“What?” Romano snapped, unable to conceal a smirk when the man paled.
“I was told that I, ah, could be of assistance, sir?”
“Are you good with computers and the Internet?” Spain asked, shooting the man a bright smile that didn’t seem to fit the anger in his eyes.
“Yes, sir, ah--“
“Antonio.”
“Antonio. I’m one of the best around.”
“Then get over here and remove this website!” Romano yelled. The Italian man nodded and hurried over, quickly setting to work on the website. When he was offered a tomato by Spain a few minutes in, he very nearly declined, but considering the website he had been hired to destroy and the anger he could feel coming off in waves from the other two, he took it, thanking the Spaniard whole-heartedly.
--
“I’ve finished, sirs,” the Italian announced an hour later, smiling at his work. “The website has been tweaked to read “I love tomatoes” and to spread information about the goodness that is a tomato. Also, I locked the webmaster out of his account, so he should be unable to get back in and change it back.” Spain and Romano nodded, looking pleased, but the man could see that they still weren’t fully satisfied. Clearing his throat again, he handed Romano a piece of paper with an address on it. “Here’s where the webmaster lives. I’m afraid I was unable to find a name, however.”
Romano took the paper, Spain looking curiously over his shoulder at it. “Hey, Romano, that’s England’s house.”
“So it is,” Romano muttered, staring at the address. “You may go now,” he dismissed the Italian who nodded and quickly left.
“Romano~ Let me go get my axe and we’ll pay our dear friend England a visit. Sound good?”
“Sounds like a plan to me,” Romano grinned, carefully rubbing the gun he had pick pocketed from the Mafia henchman.
--
Canada and Sealand crept quietly in the bushes outside of England’s house, listening to the screams of terror coming from inside.
“Um, Canada? Don’t you think this is going too far, even if it’s that jerk England?”
Canada laughed, petting Sealand gently on the head. “Don’t you think that 400 years of confusing me for my brother is going too far?”
A loud “Spain! Spain! Put the bloody axe down! I didn’t do it!” interrupted the Canadian.
Canada dropped his hand from Sealand’s head, his smile dimming at the boy’s look of concern. “Don’t worry, bro. We’ll stop by to visit for teatime in a few minutes and save England.” A gunshot rang out and Canada smiled again. Serves England right for forgetting about him.
--
Yes, the website was an elaborate plot for Canada and his lackey, Sealand, to get revenge.
As I said, I do apologize for the crack but~ I love writing it. Thanks for the wonderful prompt, OP. I hope you enjoyed ♥
Reply
Writer!anon, you pwn'ed me badly! Ah, to see Spain with his axe waving around again, and Don Lovino! 8DDDDDDDDDD
This is going into the list of my fav kink meme! \o/
Ah, I wish I could offer you something so... Ah... Have a tomato?
so-not-op
Reply
I'm glad you enjoyed it so much ♥
And you can keep the tomato. I'm...actually not a big fan of them...just don't tell Spain and Romano!
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