HETALIA KINK MEME PART 4

Feb 11, 2011 00:01


axis powers
hetalia kink meme
part 4

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It's Like A Party [4/?] anonymous May 7 2009, 15:20:42 UTC
Writer!Anon thanks you all so much for your kind comments! x3;;; I was really nervous about this, but thanks you guys. xD
And thank you to the last anon to comment, I'll make sure to mention that fact somewhere. o3o

- - - - - - - -

As if on cue, cleaning impliments were snatched up. Several of the nations flung themselves under the large conference table, and shortly following the mass stampede, frantic spritzing and enthusiastic scrubbing could be heard. When they finally emerged, slightly pink-faced but much more confident-looking, Seychelles smiled.

"Thank you. We can... keep going now."

The smell of cleaning chemicals now hung heavy in the air; the rather strong odor could even be scented through the omnipresent surgical masks. But still no one complained; if anything, the overpowering stench only served to prove that the room was swine-flu free and therefore safe to continue discussing what it was safe from.

Egypt, not really wanting to get back on the topic of the pigs (especially not with the adorable cartoon pigs on the board staring down pleadingly at him), cleared his throat. "Perhaps more countries should report on how the epidemic is being handled where they are?"

"Good idea," agreed Japan. "Would anyone ... like to speak?"

"I suppose I will," Canada offered, moving towards the front of the room. No one said a word as he sprayed down the board with cleaning solution, and proceeded to use a disinfectant wipe to erase the pigs. "Well... one hundred sixty five cases have been confirmed in Canada," he continued, now that the large-eyed animals were gone. "A few students went on a school trip to the Yucatan Peninsula, and we think that's how the virus arrived here. Though a few cases have been confirmed in people who haven't traveled outside the country, and some pigs in the country have been diagnosed with swine flu, so -"

"I KNEW it!" Mexico said loudly.

The exclamation startled Germany back into the atmosphere - the blond male had been staring aimlessly at a point on the wall, his mind a thousand miles away. This was made evident by the fact that Italy had just finished drawing a magnificent handlebar moustache onto his surgical mask, and still hadn't been strangled for it.

"So, Germany, where do you think it started?" Italy asked innocently, trying to distract the German from the fact that he was holding purple marker rather close to the other's face.

"Erm," Germany replied intelligently, making no move other than to promptly spray the marker.

"Let's move on," Hungary said warningly, sensing another debate brewing. "Who wants to go next?"

"I volunteer Lithuania, da?" Russia smiled.

Lithuania blinked a bit woozily, nodding slowly. He attempted a few deep breaths, trying to clear the cleaning chemicals from his lungs, before beginning to speak. "Ah, yes... umm.. we have one suspected case, a-and --" he cut off suddenly, swaying for a moment before flopping forward onto the table with a painful thud.

"Ohmygod it like got Liet!!" Poland wailed, as everyone stared in horror at the unconscious Lithuanian.

"Quick!!" hollered Romano.

Within seconds the occupants of the room had descended upon Lithuania, brandishing all manner of disinfectants and yelling orders over the constant sound of spraying. Turkey, in desperation, emptied his entire box of wet wipes over the passed out male's head.

"No good!" Poland panicked, sliding on a pair of gloves before lifting Lithuania's head up. "He looks totally worse than before!!"

"Maybe it's ... the chemicals?" Cuba suggested, fishing in his pocket for a cigarette. "He's not wearing a mask, after all..." The tan male lit the cigarette and lifted it to his mouth, only remembering his mask was in place after smelling smoke. Quickly extinguishing the cigarette, he dumped a dollop of hand sanitizer on it before carelessly flicking it under the table.

"Quick, someone get water!" America ordered.

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It's Like A Party [5/?] anonymous May 7 2009, 15:24:43 UTC
"But ... what if the water's contaminated?" Taiwan fretted.

"I have a water purifier, aru!" China offered, rummaging around in the small bag he'd brought with him.

"I'll disinfect that for you," Denmark offered.

"I have some bottled water!" Sealand piped up proudly, handing it over. "After all, I am Sea-kun!"

Denmark and China set upon the water bottle and purifier, as Sealand looked on in approval. The other nations, most of whom had taken several steps back by now, also watched with interest. Within moments, the bottle had been re-filled with purified water, and its exterior had been completely wiped down.

"Good, what now?" England asked America.

"... I dunno. I never had a plan," America replied with a shrug.

In the scrambling to come up with a plan, no one noticed Poland. The blond was bent over Lithuania, his eyes squeezed shut. "Oh my god, Liet, please ... please be okay ..."

And no one noticed Estonia.

Oh, how they would wish they had.

In the general commotion, Estonia had gone all but unnoticed - as per usual. Unlike usual, however, things probably would have turned out better for Estonia had he been noticed.

The oddity had started several minutes ago, when Estonia had started feeling slightly light-headed. The blond had simply chalked it up to the amount of cleaning chemicals in the air - and he'd been quite right, of course. The Baltic male began to feel ... happy. And very much so. But that wasn't where the real oddity emerged. The REAL oddity emerged when Estonia began to realize ... he liked it. He almost felt as if he could ... giggle.

It was a minute before Estonia realized that there was something very, very wrong with this realization. Not only was giggling very un-Estonia-like (and rather un-manly, too), but one was not supposed to like the feeling of the room spinning around you. One was not supposed to find everything funny (especially one's brother suddenly going FWONK onto the table). The room was not supposed to spin, one's head was not supposed to feel unnaturally light, and one was only supposed to find funny things funny.

But at the moment, Estonia really didn't care.

Slowly, deeply, he breathed in through the mask - of course he wasn't going to take it off, that would be dangerous, but a deep breath couldn't hurt, right? And by the moment, the light-headed sensation was increasing. And everything was getting funnier and funnier. So funny, as a matter of fact, that when one of the nations bending over Lithuania cried "He's alive!", like in some cheesy hospital drama -- Estonia actually gave into the urge to giggle.

Almost immediately, several ses of curious - and slightly alarmed - eyes turned in Estonia's direction. Estonia, for some unfathomable reason, found this hilarious.

"E-Estonia, aru?" China asked a bit hesitantly.

"Yes?" Estonia replied -- then collapsed in a fit of helpless laughter.

"Estonia??" came Latvia's worried voice.

"Latvia??" Estonia returned -- before realizing that their names rhymed and cracking up all over again.

"Is he okay?"

"I'm ... not sure, actually."

"He doesn't look so good."

"Maybe ... we should try getting him some fresh air."

Estonia wasn't sure whether the one being discussed was him or Lithuania, but it was ridiculously amusing nonetheless.

"Estonia, what's so funny?"

"E-Everything -- " Estonia gasped out, collapsing in laughter once more. By now "light-headed" had officially turned into "feather-weight-headed", and the oddest thoughts were popping into that featherweight head.

"Deep breaths!" someone was saying.

"No, not deep breaths, it's probably the chemicals doing it!" another someone argued.

And, of course, Estonia found all this hysterical.

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It's Like A Party [6/?] anonymous May 7 2009, 15:28:14 UTC
Chaos was well on its way to breaking out. Several nations were busy carrying out their plan to resucitate Lithuania (and one other was busy smacking some sense into France, who had rather suggestively offered to risk his life giving the poor Baltic nation mouth-to-mouth), and several others were busy purifying more water (some to try to calm down Estonia, and some more because Germany had discovered the handlebar moustche on his mask and the general consensus was that Italy was also going to need some resucitating in the near future). Yet a few more nations were now trying (and failing) to shout over the noise and create some sort of plan to fall back on in case Swine Flu became a global pandemic. Romano was singing something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like "buono tomato buono tomato buono buono ooh", and Switzerland had redrawn the pigs on the board and was now using them for target practice. The noise level was raising by the minute, and it seemed the meeting was getting entirely out of hand -

At least, until Latvia coughed.

-

Despite the fact that the room's noise level had previously been at a dull roar, the slight noise was clearly audible. And immediately all noises ceased, all nations pausing where they stood. Switzerland's gun dropped out of his hand and onto the floor with an audible 'thunk', and several mouths gaped open beneath bright blue surgical masks.

"Latvia ... don't move."

And then the room exploded.

The spritzing was absolutely deafening. Disinfectant wipes flew through the air, plastering themselves on the backs of nations' heads. Streams of Germ-X shot from every corner of the room. Bottles of hand sanitizer soared overhead, dumping their contents out onto those unfortunate enough to be below. The purified water was flung violently onto every visible surface, and the only pauses in the chaos came when someone decided to drop whatever they were holding long enough to put on a second and third mask.

And then France came to a shocking realization. "Mon Dieu, I don't want to die a virgin!!"

"France, a virgin?" Romano snorted in disbelief - at least, until Spain was plucked up from beside him and whisked away by a far-too determined looking France.

"Come with me, mon cheri ~ I promise you will enjoy it, non?"

"ROMANO!!" Spain cried, flailing violently.

"Dammit --" Romano hissed, gritting his teeth. France had just kidnapped Spain. And fuck it, HE didn't want to die a virgin, either! Well, there was only one thing for it. Slowly, quietly, he picked up an empty steel canister that had once held disifectant wipes, and becan to follow France...

Meanwhile, Poland was shaking Lithuania, who had passed out again. "OHMYGOD, LIET! WAKE UP, NOW!" he insisted frantically. "I TOTALLY DON'T WANNA DIE A VIRGIN, TOO!"

Russia, however, had crept up behind Poland, smiling creepily. "Oh, no need for that~" Poland whirled around, and Russia's smile widened. "You could always become one with Russia ... da?"

Egypt was staring rather oddly at Sweden, who was crouching over Finland on the ground. "You're ... really going to do THAT? HERE?" he asked incredulously.

" ... 'M pr'tect'n m'wife," Sweden said indignantly.

"Well, it looks like several other people do intend to do that here," Turkey put in, waltzing over to where Egypt stood. Bending over, he whispered in Egypt's ear. "So why don't we?"

"ENGLAND!" America demanded, pointing dramatically at the other, who only stared, raising his oversized eyebrows.

America looked about to speak, but was bowled over by Romano, who was dashing towards a corner of the room with his makeshift weapon held aloft. Romano's charge was brave, but at the last minute he pulled up sharply. France (his hands definitely somewhere they shouldn't be, much to the alarm of Spain) turned, looking mildly confused. Romano ignored the Frenchman entirely, however - he had eyes only for Spain. As France looked on, aghast, Romano marched up to Spain and pressed his mask onto his.

"... I think that's exactly what it looks like," England stated, watching the mini-drama in almost a perverted fascination.

And suddenly America was much closer than England remembered him being. "... Maybe we should look like that, too."

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OP anonymous May 7 2009, 20:35:28 UTC
I-Is everyone going to do it now?
:D

If so--this fic just became the BEST thing ever.
*nominates this fic for a Webby*

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Re: It's Like A Party [6/?] anonymous May 7 2009, 21:19:53 UTC
hahaha i love thisssss!

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Re: It's Like A Party [6/?] anonymous May 8 2009, 00:07:20 UTC
I'm just ROTFLROTFLROTFLing. Nobody wants to die a virgin! It like totally got Liet! Switzerland with guns! Prussia! America! Mexico! KEEP WRITING!

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