Oh god, you have NO IDEA what a giant grin that ending just pasted all over my face. FFFFHAHAHHALSKDJSLKJDLSJ PERFECT. PERFECT ENDING EVER. I loved Arthur going devious and taking control and totally blowing Alfred's mind and yes. A beautiful wrap to a splendid fic, and oh god I'll just uh. Be over here rereading like crazy and continuing to smile until my face hurts. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
(And I'll leave a tiny bit of crit after all the gushing, since I loved the fic but could see some places to be improved! Al calling Arthur 'Iggy' kind of brought me up short, since 'Iggy' is derived from the Japanese word for England, or 'Igirisu', so anyone other than Japan or possibly Greece using it is strange.
Arthur also seemed to overuse Britishisms in his speech--lots of 'bloodys' and 'wankers'--enough that this silly American kind of noticed, so in the future maybe cut back on those a bit. Some sentences/dialogue here and there were also constructed awkwardly.
But none of that managed to detract from the sheer emotional win of the piece, so I definitely have to commend you on that. You managed to capture their personalities, emotions and interaction in such a way that--I'll admit I'm normally very picky about my reading--I just didn't care about the imperfections. Great job! Please keep writing. ♥)
eeeeh, this whole comment put a smile on my face! ♥♥♥ I'm glad you liked the ending, sadfd, I was just not sure it would do to end it like this after all the angst, but I wanted to end it on a happier note; plus, I cannot really see Arthur as anything other than a hot old experienced bastard, so of course he would take control, especially their first time. As for 'Iggy'; I wanted Alfred to bastardize one of Arthur's names to annoy him, and honestly, I thought canon was safer than attempting something on my own.
Ahaha, I can't help the Britishisms, sometimes; I tend to think that way, so I don't even notice; I'll try to keep track of them in the future. I also tend to think in Greek as well (greek!anon is greek) so maybe that's why some of the sentences sounded awkward in english. My translation skills aren't the best. I'm glad you think my characterizations are okay, though! It's the hardest part to get right; the other things can be improved, but if you can't get the characters right it's..difficult.
(And I'll leave a tiny bit of crit after all the gushing, since I loved the fic but could see some places to be improved! Al calling Arthur 'Iggy' kind of brought me up short, since 'Iggy' is derived from the Japanese word for England, or 'Igirisu', so anyone other than Japan or possibly Greece using it is strange.
Arthur also seemed to overuse Britishisms in his speech--lots of 'bloodys' and 'wankers'--enough that this silly American kind of noticed, so in the future maybe cut back on those a bit. Some sentences/dialogue here and there were also constructed awkwardly.
But none of that managed to detract from the sheer emotional win of the piece, so I definitely have to commend you on that. You managed to capture their personalities, emotions and interaction in such a way that--I'll admit I'm normally very picky about my reading--I just didn't care about the imperfections. Great job! Please keep writing. ♥)
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Ahaha, I can't help the Britishisms, sometimes; I tend to think that way, so I don't even notice; I'll try to keep track of them in the future. I also tend to think in Greek as well (greek!anon is greek) so maybe that's why some of the sentences sounded awkward in english. My translation skills aren't the best. I'm glad you think my characterizations are okay, though! It's the hardest part to get right; the other things can be improved, but if you can't get the characters right it's..difficult.
aaaalso. you sound familiar, I think~
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