The price of love is a spagetthi bolognese 4/?
anonymous
April 24 2009, 23:09:33 UTC
"Not bad," Austria said. "But really, you could only find one buyer..." he trailed off as he felt Hungary's tear-filled but increasingly furious glare bear down on him. She was really forgetting her place here, he thought.
"I had to walk really far," Italy complained, "and there were hardly any people there!"
"There's always France," Austria said. "But..." Perhaps if he showed Hungary that their little maid wasn't suffering from this - his grandpa had been a well-known hedonist, after all - she would forgive him. "Well done. This is a good start."
"Thank you, Austria!" Italy said happily. Yay, dinner for him!
"It didn't. You know, hurt?" he asked carefully.
Italy shook his head happily.
"There, you see, Hungary? Out Chibitalia is doing just fine!"
Hungary didn't say anything, only stomped off. Oh well, she'd get over it.
"But I expect you to bring in at least a bit more than this tomorrow, do you understand, Chibitalia?"
"But Austriaaaaaa~"
"No whining! Spain was just telling me," sobbing brokenly was more like it, "that your brother manages at least twenty customers each day!"
OP: Pfffffftttt
anonymous
April 25 2009, 04:27:38 UTC
Oh god, writer!anon. You please me so. You've got what I want down perfectly so far and I only expect things to get better. This is just what I'm hoping for.
The price of love is a spagetthi bolognese 5/?
anonymous
April 26 2009, 18:18:26 UTC
The next day, Italy headed north-east. Hungary had absolutely forbidden him from going into her land and since he promised Prussia not to go to France, he decided to walk in the other direction.
Soon, the valleys and mountains of Austria's lands gave way to golden fields of wheat. There were a lot of farmers around, but none of them had money to buy Italy.
"My feet hurt," Italy whined to the small spring he was resting at. "I've gone and gone all day and I can't find anyone! Soon I'll probably come to the north pole."
"Oh no," a soft voice called from behind him, "the north pole is still very far away. You haven't even reached my home yet."
Italy looked around. Behind him was a very tall, but at the same time very gentle looking nation. "Hello," he said, "how do you do? I am Italy."
"Hi. I'm Russia," the nation said, "and this is my horse. We just stopped to drink here, and then I saw you!"
"Is this your country, Russia?"
Russia smiled. "In the end, all countries will be mine... But right now it belongs to some friends of mine. I'm looking for them, in fact."
"I see. I live with Austria and the Holy Roman Empire," Italy said.
That made Russia open his eyes widely. "Then what are you doing here?" he asked, "It is not like Austria to let his family wander off too far."
"Uhm, well," Italy fidgeted a little, "I'm working as a maid. But I'm not very good..."
The horse had finished drinking and was starting to nip at the grass, so Russia plopped down besides Italy. "There are some things I'm not very good at either," he confided. "Always, I try to keep my friends close, but they leave me. Then I become sad."
"Oh, that must be lonely," Italy said. "My brother is living with Spain now and my grandpa has disappeared."
"Poor little Italy. Families should be together."
"I have one very good friend," Italy continued, "but he has to go out and fight a lot nowadays."
"Ah, the angry little boy, yes? I think I have met him some time."
"But, Russia!"
"Yes?"
So excited was Italy, that the words almost stumbled over each other falling from his mouth. "I have a new work now. Austria wants me to sell myself, he said that will make people happy. So if I sell it to you, then you'll be less lonely and I'll get money. And then Austria will feed me delicious pasta!"
Blink. Blink.
"Don't you think that's a great idea?"
"Well," the larger nation began, "if he really wants to sell you I have a nice big home..."
"No, silly," Italy laughed, "not like that. We just, like, do things for an hour or so that feel nice."
"Really?"
"Yes. I sold myself to Prussia yesterday, but I think he was in a hurry because he only gave me a kiss. But," Italy hurried to say, "I can give you many more nice touches."
For a moment, Russia looked very serious. It made him look a lot older, but then he smiled gently again. "Okay, Italy. Maybe you can tell me a story of your country? I heard it is very sunny and pretty."
"Sure! Should I touch you somehow?"
"This is good." Russia opened his thick coat and laid down with his head in Italy's lap. "I like to hear about warm places," he said, and smiled up at the small nation. "And I think I like you!"
Then Italy told all the stories he could remember that Grandpa Rome used to tell, as well as some about his and Romano's adventures when they had still been together. After a while, Russia took his small hand in his own hand, which was very large and cool, and held it softly.
"...and then they lived happily ever after!" Italy finished the latest story. He was beginning to get tired in the troath and the sun was also slowly sinking beneath the horizon. "Russia, I think I have to go home now," he said with a yawn.
"Mmm, I have to go too." Russia got up and took out some money. "Here you go; the stories were very nice."
"Thank you so much," Italy gushed. Wow, this was even more money than yesterday!
"When I have taken care of my friends here," Russia called as he rode away, "I will come and visit you, little Italy! I want to show you my house soon!"
"Do that!" Italy said and waved happily. "I want to hear your stories too!"
Then he turned around and looked southwards. Oh dear, it was a very long way to go. Maybe some nice farmer could him a ride for a bit of the way?
The price of love is a spagetthi bolognese 6/?
anonymous
April 26 2009, 18:34:44 UTC
"Ita-chan! Oh my dear Ita-chan, where have you been?" Hungary called as the young nation stumbled home well after midnight.
"Ita-chan..." Austria was looking slightly more wide-eyed than usual. When he realized that the small nation was unhurt, he quickly hid the lantern he had brought to go search for his lost maid. "Where have you been? Do you know what time it is!"
"Sorry," Italy mumbled and yawned, "it went dark so quickly and then I got lost..."
"Come, dear," Hungary said, "some hot milk will do you good!" She fussed over Italy in a manner Austria soon began to find excessive, but he kept silent until she went to prepare Italy's bed.
"Did you at least earn something today? Look how much you made Hungary worry."
"Ve?" It was a very tired little nation sitting in front of Austria.
"I asked if you earned something, Ita-chan."
"Oh... Mmhm." Italy fumbled with his apron a little and then brought up the money.
"Good work, Ita-chan," Austria said, "this looks like quite the -" the coins spilled out on the table and Austria's smile froze.
"It's ready for you now, Ita-chan," Hungary called as she came back, "so let's get you into bed." She looked between the two, wondering what had changed between the asleep in his chair Italy and the trembling Austria. "Is everything all right?"
"WHY IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU CARRYING RUSSIAN MONEY?"
------
[Third day]
Italy was so exhausted that he didn't wake up until after noon. However, since Austria was busy with a frenzied reorganisation of his defences (shifting them further east, for some reason) he took no notice.
In the evening, Austria looked down on a very meager stack of copper coins and gave an annoyed little huff. "Is this all Ita-chan earned today?"
Hungary nodded. "He woke up late," she said, staring at her feet.
"At least he hasn't been lazing about all day! But he'll have to do better tomorrow."
This time, Hungary said nothing, only clenched her apron tighter. Her own wages were very low, but she just hadn't had the heart to send out poor Ita-chan when he looked so piteously upon her. Oh, if only the Holy Roman Empire could come home soon and put a stop to this hairbraned scheme! But he was involved in some stupid war in some stupid place nobody even really knew where. Hungary just didn't have enough to bribe someone to send a message and keep quit about it before Austria.
The price of love is a spagetthi bolognese 7/?
anonymous
April 27 2009, 17:38:07 UTC
[Fourth day]
Today Italy had been woken at dawn by a enthusiastic Austria. "The Ottomans! Why didn't I think of that, they're supposed to like little boys. And they have lots of money too."
Thus it was decided that Italy would go to the Ottoman empire. He could even get a ride for a bit with some traders.
"Greece is a nice country, Ita-chan," Hungary whispered to him while she was packing some lunch for his day, "and he's living with Turkey now. See if you can find him first!"
Italy promised to be back before dark and so he left with the travelers. Mmm, good thing he was small enough to sleep among the stacks of fine fabric leaving Vienna.
"Hello?" he called about an hour after he had separated from the company. "Is Greece here?"
No nation showed up, but two of the sleeping cats looked up at Italy with cool green eyes.
"Hi, kitties," Italy said. "Do you like dried fish? Hungary gave some to me, but i think it tastes really bad..."
The cats did in fact like dried fish. After they had eaten, the stroked against his legs and purred wildly. "You are cute kitties! Say, you don't know where Greece is?"
The largest cat seemed to consider for a moment, then hopped down on the pavement. It gave Italy a clear "come on then, so I can go back to my much more important business of cat-napping"-look and Italy happily followed.
The price of love is a spagetthi bolognese 8/?
anonymous
April 27 2009, 17:39:59 UTC
Quite soon, they came upon two nations. One lay sleeping with at least four cats sprawled over him and the other was throwing small sticks at him.
"Stop that," a sleepy voice said.
"Haha, and here comes the troops of Alexander the great!" A large pine cone almost hit one of the cats.
"He was Macedonian, you moron."
"So? Macedonia is pretty much mine today. And don't call me moron, moron."
"Ehm, excuse me..." Italy said, but the two nations paid him no attention.
"Hah!" The first nation lifted a kitty off his face and stuck his toungue out at the pine-cone throwing one. "You also belong to the Turk, so there." He had a very cute curl, which Italy thought looked a little as if his and Romano's curls were sitting back to back and sleeping.
"So do you!" the second nation retaliated and poked him on the nose with a stick.
"Excuse me?" Italy asked again.
This time, his guiding cat meowed regally, and the bickering nations turned around.
"Ehh, who'se this little guy?"
"Hi!" Italy said and smiled as bravely as he could. "I'm Italy. I live with Austria and the Holy Roman Empire."
"Hullo. I'm Greece," the nation with the curl said.
"And I'm Bulgaria! What are you doing here, squirt?"
"I came to sell my body! Austria said I should go to the Ottoman empire but Hungary thought I should look for Greece instead."
Greece twitched a little. "Wha- what? Why did she say that!"
"Ahaha, everyone knows you like boys Greece!"
"Oh why don't you just 'bugger off', eh?"
"Why you-"
Oh dear, Italy thought, this didn't look very promising. "Hungary said that it was because Greece was nice," he offered.
"Really?"
"Yes," Italy said, "she doesn't like that Austria makes me sell my body."
Bulgaria scratched his head. "You do look awfully small for this kind of work... Come on, kiddo, give us the whole story."
After Italy had finished telling the two nation, Greece declared that he absolutely needed a kitten and Bulgaria said that the damned Austrian might be worse than the damned Ottoman. Possibly. Slightly. Almost as bad, at least.
"So do any of you want to buy me?" Italy said and played with his new cat. It was cute and brown and he wondered if the Holy Roman Empire wanted to help him think of a name.
"Sorry," Bulgaria said. "Can't help."
"See, we're both broke," Greece said, "we have to pay a lot of taxes."
"Oh..." Now what was he supposed to do? "I'll have to go on then."
"No!" "You shouldn't!"
Both nations began talking at once, mainly about what a horrible person Turkey was and that Austria was just being silly.
Then Greece said the magic word (not pasta, the other one. One of the other ones) and Italy realized that he really ought to stay. "Why don't you just join us for dinner?"
"Dinner?"
"Yeah, we have awesome food," Bulgaria agreed. "Have you ever had baklava?"
"Or moussaka?"
"Oh, you have to try my homemade yoghurt!"
"And ouzo!"
"She's a bit small for that, don't you think?"
"More ouzo for us then... But the olives are ripe now, you can try those, Italy."
"Thank you so much!" Italy was almost teary-eyed from gratitude. Food! That was even better than money. "Let me see what you have, maybe I can cook some Italian food as thank you?"
"Sounds great," Bulgaria. "Come on, lazyass," he told Greece and gave the other man a hand to help him rise.
"Shut up, you idiot. Besides, Hungary said Ita-chan should come to me for help."
"Ah, but where would you be without me?"
"Much better off..."
---
Note: I have no idea about any of these countries relationship during this time period, I just tried to scan Wikipedia and see what I could find. Hope I didn't offend anyone!
Now there should only be another 2-4 parts left. Don't give up, reader anons!
The price of love is a spagetthi bolognese 9/?
anonymous
April 28 2009, 19:04:53 UTC
[Fifth day]
"I'm sorry Austria."
"You'd better be! You wasted an entire day and you didn't even earn one dinar!"
"But I got a kitty..."
"Oh yes, excellent," Austria snapped, "because one more mouth to feed is just what we need in this household."
The spectacled nation had been lecturing Italy ever since he got home from Greece. While he was forced to accept that it was really too far to go to Turkey, if that's where the Ottoman Empire was currently residing (and had planned to stay for a while, according to Greece and Bulgaria), he still saw no reason for Italy to give up that easily.
When he got home, Italy found himself shut up in the familiar dark room, but since he was well-filled from the de~licious picknick, this hadn't bothered him much. That Austria was still very upset the next day, however, did.
Sighing, Austria went down on a knee in front of the small nation. "Look, Ita-chan," he said, "you have to understand that I'm not just making you do this because I think it's fun."
"I know, Austria," Italy said and looked down at his toes. "I have to earn money."
"Yes, but do you know why?" As the small nation opened his mouth to answer, Austria quickly cut him off. "And the answer is not to buy pasta!"
"Um... then I don't know."
Getting up, Austria strode over to his desk. "See here, Ita-chan, look at this map."
Italy looked at the map. It was mappy.
"This is the Holy Roman Empire, which we're all part of."
"Wow, it's a big house!"
"Yes, and you know the problem with big houses? They're zi>expensive to run. And because our little wannabe empire spends all his time fighting or making cows-eyes at you, who do you think has to take care of the finances? And, frankly, everything else here."
"Um... Austria?"
"That's right." Austria ran a hand through his hair, which Italy found very amusing, because it made Austria's hair make a funny "sproing" when he stopped holding it down. Unfortunately, what the older nation was saying wasn't very fun.
"And you know another problem with a big house? All the children in it want to become the most favored children, and so they fight all the time."
"I know, Hungary said everyone was angry with Austria..."
"If only it was that easy! No, Ita-chan, they're angry with me and Holy Roman Empire, and each other and probably you and Hungary too!"
"Me?? But, but why..."
"Because you didn't defeat me, if they are italian. Or because you aren't contributing enough, Ita-chan!"
"Sorry?" Italy said meekly.
"You should be. Do you know that I had one of Hungary's people here, complaining because they hadn't received money they were promised?"
"No..."
"Then I suppose," Austria said in a forbidding tone, "that you also don't know that Hungary couldn't give them that money because you hadn't been out doing your work, and she had to cover for you!"
"Oh no!" Italy felt his eyes tear up. Poor Hungary, who was always so kind to him! And he hadn't even considered what would happen that day, or how come Austria hadn't scolded him for not working!
"I'm so sorry, Austria!" he cried and buried his face against the other nation's legs. "Please don't scold Hungary! I'll work really hard, I will and I'll earn lots and lots of money! Please!"
"Am I really that much of an ogre towards you two?" Austria murmured softly as he stroked the smaller nation. "I'm glad you understand now Italy. because you do, right?" He felt frantic nodding against his leg.
The price of love is a spagetthi bolognese 10/?
anonymous
April 28 2009, 19:06:14 UTC
"Good. Then, tomorrow - it's too late to go out today, so stay here and clean - I want you to go to France. You've been doing this for a few days now, he can't be that bad..."
Italy sniffled, but quickly wiped his nose on a sleeve and tried to look serious. He would go to France and make lots of money, then he would invite Hungary for a wonderful pasta-dinner as thank you!
"I promise, I'll make lots of money from France!"
Smiling gently, Austria released him. "Wonderful. Now hurry off to work, I have some more problems to deal with." Suddenly, he looked thoughtful. "By the way, Ita-chan, you haven't heard any mentions of Prussia's wherabouts?"
"Uhm. Uh," Italy stammered, "why do you want to know, Austria?"
"He's gone missing," said with a heavy sigh, "that's just like him. Oh well, he'll turn up like a bad coin, he always does in the end. Now run along."
"Yes, Austria! I'll be really good from now on."
"That's good, Ita-chan. I'm counting on you."
----
Note: Wtf self, what happened to this crackfick to turn it into a semi-serious piece?
"I had to walk really far," Italy complained, "and there were hardly any people there!"
"There's always France," Austria said. "But..."
Perhaps if he showed Hungary that their little maid wasn't suffering from this - his grandpa had been a well-known hedonist, after all - she would forgive him. "Well done. This is a good start."
"Thank you, Austria!" Italy said happily. Yay, dinner for him!
"It didn't. You know, hurt?" he asked carefully.
Italy shook his head happily.
"There, you see, Hungary? Out Chibitalia is doing just fine!"
Hungary didn't say anything, only stomped off. Oh well, she'd get over it.
"But I expect you to bring in at least a bit more than this tomorrow, do you understand, Chibitalia?"
"But Austriaaaaaa~"
"No whining! Spain was just telling me," sobbing brokenly was more like it, "that your brother manages at least twenty customers each day!"
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And much love for Hungary's disapproval. XD
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God Austria, you have no idea. And I can almost hear Hungary's hands itching for the frying pan. Can't wait to read more!
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Soon, the valleys and mountains of Austria's lands gave way to golden fields of wheat. There were a lot of farmers around, but none of them had money to buy Italy.
"My feet hurt," Italy whined to the small spring he was resting at. "I've gone and gone all day and I can't find anyone! Soon I'll probably come to the north pole."
"Oh no," a soft voice called from behind him, "the north pole is still very far away. You haven't even reached my home yet."
Italy looked around. Behind him was a very tall, but at the same time very gentle looking nation. "Hello," he said, "how do you do? I am Italy."
"Hi. I'm Russia," the nation said, "and this is my horse. We just stopped to drink here, and then I saw you!"
"Is this your country, Russia?"
Russia smiled. "In the end, all countries will be mine... But right now it belongs to some friends of mine. I'm looking for them, in fact."
"I see. I live with Austria and the Holy Roman Empire," Italy said.
That made Russia open his eyes widely. "Then what are you doing here?" he asked, "It is not like Austria to let his family wander off too far."
"Uhm, well," Italy fidgeted a little, "I'm working as a maid. But I'm not very good..."
The horse had finished drinking and was starting to nip at the grass, so Russia plopped down besides Italy. "There are some things I'm not very good at either," he confided. "Always, I try to keep my friends close, but they leave me. Then I become sad."
"Oh, that must be lonely," Italy said. "My brother is living with Spain now and my grandpa has disappeared."
"Poor little Italy. Families should be together."
"I have one very good friend," Italy continued, "but he has to go out and fight a lot nowadays."
"Ah, the angry little boy, yes? I think I have met him some time."
"But, Russia!"
"Yes?"
So excited was Italy, that the words almost stumbled over each other falling from his mouth. "I have a new work now. Austria wants me to sell myself, he said that will make people happy. So if I sell it to you, then you'll be less lonely and I'll get money. And then Austria will feed me delicious pasta!"
Blink. Blink.
"Don't you think that's a great idea?"
"Well," the larger nation began, "if he really wants to sell you I have a nice big home..."
"No, silly," Italy laughed, "not like that. We just, like, do things for an hour or so that feel nice."
"Really?"
"Yes. I sold myself to Prussia yesterday, but I think he was in a hurry because he only gave me a kiss. But," Italy hurried to say, "I can give you many more nice touches."
For a moment, Russia looked very serious. It made him look a lot older, but then he smiled gently again. "Okay, Italy. Maybe you can tell me a story of your country? I heard it is very sunny and pretty."
"Sure! Should I touch you somehow?"
"This is good." Russia opened his thick coat and laid down with his head in Italy's lap. "I like to hear about warm places," he said, and smiled up at the small nation. "And I think I like you!"
Then Italy told all the stories he could remember that Grandpa Rome used to tell, as well as some about his and Romano's adventures when they had still been together. After a while, Russia took his small hand in his own hand, which was very large and cool, and held it softly.
"...and then they lived happily ever after!" Italy finished the latest story. He was beginning to get tired in the troath and the sun was also slowly sinking beneath the horizon. "Russia, I think I have to go home now," he said with a yawn.
"Mmm, I have to go too." Russia got up and took out some money. "Here you go; the stories were very nice."
"Thank you so much," Italy gushed. Wow, this was even more money than yesterday!
"When I have taken care of my friends here," Russia called as he rode away, "I will come and visit you, little Italy! I want to show you my house soon!"
"Do that!" Italy said and waved happily. "I want to hear your stories too!"
Then he turned around and looked southwards. Oh dear, it was a very long way to go. Maybe some nice farmer could him a ride for a bit of the way?
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"Ita-chan..." Austria was looking slightly more wide-eyed than usual. When he realized that the small nation was unhurt, he quickly hid the lantern he had brought to go search for his lost maid. "Where have you been? Do you know what time it is!"
"Sorry," Italy mumbled and yawned, "it went dark so quickly and then I got lost..."
"Come, dear," Hungary said, "some hot milk will do you good!" She fussed over Italy in a manner Austria soon began to find excessive, but he kept silent until she went to prepare Italy's bed.
"Did you at least earn something today? Look how much you made Hungary worry."
"Ve?" It was a very tired little nation sitting in front of Austria.
"I asked if you earned something, Ita-chan."
"Oh... Mmhm." Italy fumbled with his apron a little and then brought up the money.
"Good work, Ita-chan," Austria said, "this looks like quite the -" the coins spilled out on the table and Austria's smile froze.
"It's ready for you now, Ita-chan," Hungary called as she came back, "so let's get you into bed." She looked between the two, wondering what had changed between the asleep in his chair Italy and the trembling Austria. "Is everything all right?"
"WHY IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU CARRYING RUSSIAN MONEY?"
------
[Third day]
Italy was so exhausted that he didn't wake up until after noon. However, since Austria was busy with a frenzied reorganisation of his defences (shifting them further east, for some reason) he took no notice.
In the evening, Austria looked down on a very meager stack of copper coins and gave an annoyed little huff. "Is this all Ita-chan earned today?"
Hungary nodded. "He woke up late," she said, staring at her feet.
"At least he hasn't been lazing about all day! But he'll have to do better tomorrow."
This time, Hungary said nothing, only clenched her apron tighter. Her own wages were very low, but she just hadn't had the heart to send out poor Ita-chan when he looked so piteously upon her. Oh, if only the Holy Roman Empire could come home soon and put a stop to this hairbraned scheme! But he was involved in some stupid war in some stupid place nobody even really knew where. Hungary just didn't have enough to bribe someone to send a message and keep quit about it before Austria.
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Today Italy had been woken at dawn by a enthusiastic Austria. "The Ottomans! Why didn't I think of that, they're supposed to like little boys. And they have lots of money too."
Thus it was decided that Italy would go to the Ottoman empire. He could even get a ride for a bit with some traders.
"Greece is a nice country, Ita-chan," Hungary whispered to him while she was packing some lunch for his day, "and he's living with Turkey now. See if you can find him first!"
Italy promised to be back before dark and so he left with the travelers. Mmm, good thing he was small enough to sleep among the stacks of fine fabric leaving Vienna.
"Hello?" he called about an hour after he had separated from the company. "Is Greece here?"
No nation showed up, but two of the sleeping cats looked up at Italy with cool green eyes.
"Hi, kitties," Italy said. "Do you like dried fish? Hungary gave some to me, but i think it tastes really bad..."
The cats did in fact like dried fish. After they had eaten, the stroked against his legs and purred wildly.
"You are cute kitties! Say, you don't know where Greece is?"
The largest cat seemed to consider for a moment, then hopped down on the pavement. It gave Italy a clear "come on then, so I can go back to my much more important business of cat-napping"-look and Italy happily followed.
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"Stop that," a sleepy voice said.
"Haha, and here comes the troops of Alexander the great!" A large pine cone almost hit one of the cats.
"He was Macedonian, you moron."
"So? Macedonia is pretty much mine today. And don't call me moron, moron."
"Ehm, excuse me..." Italy said, but the two nations paid him no attention.
"Hah!" The first nation lifted a kitty off his face and stuck his toungue out at the pine-cone throwing one. "You also belong to the Turk, so there." He had a very cute curl, which Italy thought looked a little as if his and Romano's curls were sitting back to back and sleeping.
"So do you!" the second nation retaliated and poked him on the nose with a stick.
"Excuse me?" Italy asked again.
This time, his guiding cat meowed regally, and the bickering nations turned around.
"Ehh, who'se this little guy?"
"Hi!" Italy said and smiled as bravely as he could. "I'm Italy. I live with Austria and the Holy Roman Empire."
"Hullo. I'm Greece," the nation with the curl said.
"And I'm Bulgaria! What are you doing here, squirt?"
"I came to sell my body! Austria said I should go to the Ottoman empire but Hungary thought I should look for Greece instead."
Greece twitched a little. "Wha- what? Why did she say that!"
"Ahaha, everyone knows you like boys Greece!"
"Oh why don't you just 'bugger off', eh?"
"Why you-"
Oh dear, Italy thought, this didn't look very promising. "Hungary said that it was because Greece was nice," he offered.
"Really?"
"Yes," Italy said, "she doesn't like that Austria makes me sell my body."
Bulgaria scratched his head. "You do look awfully small for this kind of work... Come on, kiddo, give us the whole story."
After Italy had finished telling the two nation, Greece declared that he absolutely needed a kitten and Bulgaria said that the damned Austrian might be worse than the damned Ottoman. Possibly. Slightly. Almost as bad, at least.
"So do any of you want to buy me?" Italy said and played with his new cat. It was cute and brown and he wondered if the Holy Roman Empire wanted to help him think of a name.
"Sorry," Bulgaria said. "Can't help."
"See, we're both broke," Greece said, "we have to pay a lot of taxes."
"Oh..." Now what was he supposed to do? "I'll have to go on then."
"No!"
"You shouldn't!"
Both nations began talking at once, mainly about what a horrible person Turkey was and that Austria was just being silly.
Then Greece said the magic word (not pasta, the other one. One of the other ones) and Italy realized that he really ought to stay. "Why don't you just join us for dinner?"
"Dinner?"
"Yeah, we have awesome food," Bulgaria agreed. "Have you ever had baklava?"
"Or moussaka?"
"Oh, you have to try my homemade yoghurt!"
"And ouzo!"
"She's a bit small for that, don't you think?"
"More ouzo for us then... But the olives are ripe now, you can try those, Italy."
"Thank you so much!" Italy was almost teary-eyed from gratitude. Food! That was even better than money. "Let me see what you have, maybe I can cook some Italian food as thank you?"
"Sounds great," Bulgaria. "Come on, lazyass," he told Greece and gave the other man a hand to help him rise.
"Shut up, you idiot. Besides, Hungary said Ita-chan should come to me for help."
"Ah, but where would you be without me?"
"Much better off..."
---
Note: I have no idea about any of these countries relationship during this time period, I just tried to scan Wikipedia and see what I could find. Hope I didn't offend anyone!
Now there should only be another 2-4 parts left. Don't give up, reader anons!
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"I'm sorry Austria."
"You'd better be! You wasted an entire day and you didn't even earn one dinar!"
"But I got a kitty..."
"Oh yes, excellent," Austria snapped, "because one more mouth to feed is just what we need in this household."
The spectacled nation had been lecturing Italy ever since he got home from Greece. While he was forced to accept that it was really too far to go to Turkey, if that's where the Ottoman Empire was currently residing (and had planned to stay for a while, according to Greece and Bulgaria), he still saw no reason for Italy to give up that easily.
When he got home, Italy found himself shut up in the familiar dark room, but since he was well-filled from the de~licious picknick, this hadn't bothered him much. That Austria was still very upset the next day, however, did.
Sighing, Austria went down on a knee in front of the small nation. "Look, Ita-chan," he said, "you have to understand that I'm not just making you do this because I think it's fun."
"I know, Austria," Italy said and looked down at his toes. "I have to earn money."
"Yes, but do you know why?" As the small nation opened his mouth to answer, Austria quickly cut him off. "And the answer is not to buy pasta!"
"Um... then I don't know."
Getting up, Austria strode over to his desk. "See here, Ita-chan, look at this map."
Italy looked at the map. It was mappy.
"This is the Holy Roman Empire, which we're all part of."
"Wow, it's a big house!"
"Yes, and you know the problem with big houses? They're zi>expensive to run. And because our little wannabe empire spends all his time fighting or making cows-eyes at you, who do you think has to take care of the finances? And, frankly, everything else here."
"Um... Austria?"
"That's right." Austria ran a hand through his hair, which Italy found very amusing, because it made Austria's hair make a funny "sproing" when he stopped holding it down. Unfortunately, what the older nation was saying wasn't very fun.
"And you know another problem with a big house? All the children in it want to become the most favored children, and so they fight all the time."
"I know, Hungary said everyone was angry with Austria..."
"If only it was that easy! No, Ita-chan, they're angry with me and Holy Roman Empire, and each other and probably you and Hungary too!"
"Me?? But, but why..."
"Because you didn't defeat me, if they are italian. Or because you aren't contributing enough, Ita-chan!"
"Sorry?" Italy said meekly.
"You should be. Do you know that I had one of Hungary's people here, complaining because they hadn't received money they were promised?"
"No..."
"Then I suppose," Austria said in a forbidding tone, "that you also don't know that Hungary couldn't give them that money because you hadn't been out doing your work, and she had to cover for you!"
"Oh no!" Italy felt his eyes tear up. Poor Hungary, who was always so kind to him! And he hadn't even considered what would happen that day, or how come Austria hadn't scolded him for not working!
"I'm so sorry, Austria!" he cried and buried his face against the other nation's legs. "Please don't scold Hungary! I'll work really hard, I will and I'll earn lots and lots of money! Please!"
"Am I really that much of an ogre towards you two?" Austria murmured softly as he stroked the smaller nation. "I'm glad you understand now Italy. because you do, right?" He felt frantic nodding against his leg.
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Italy sniffled, but quickly wiped his nose on a sleeve and tried to look serious. He would go to France and make lots of money, then he would invite Hungary for a wonderful pasta-dinner as thank you!
"I promise, I'll make lots of money from France!"
Smiling gently, Austria released him. "Wonderful. Now hurry off to work, I have some more problems to deal with." Suddenly, he looked thoughtful. "By the way, Ita-chan, you haven't heard any mentions of Prussia's wherabouts?"
"Uhm. Uh," Italy stammered, "why do you want to know, Austria?"
"He's gone missing," said with a heavy sigh, "that's just like him. Oh well, he'll turn up like a bad coin, he always does in the end. Now run along."
"Yes, Austria! I'll be really good from now on."
"That's good, Ita-chan. I'm counting on you."
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Note: Wtf self, what happened to this crackfick to turn it into a semi-serious piece?
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MOREPLZ.
please be okay, prussia and ita-chan!
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