The Importance of Tolerance
anonymous
May 21 2009, 18:01:11 UTC
"It's been a while since we've visited America, hasn't it, Su-san?" Finland smiled, basking in the crisp New England air. "We should come here more often. The fall is so warm!"
"'f y'want," his husband grunted, acquiescently. "'S nice."
Yes, the weather was nice, their visit with Alfred had been nice, and Tino was feeling altogether nice about everything, when suddenly...
"You!"
He blinked. "...Me?"
A woman he'd never seen before was barreling towards him, carrying a large picket sign rather like one would carry a club. She was scowling, so much that Finland wondered immediately just what he had done and how he could apologize for it.
"You!" she began again, ramming a finger into his sternum and glaring. "You need to accept Christ into your life, right now!"
Finland blinked. Well, that was...certainly a novel approach. What was it her sign said, again? 'Liberal Fags Burn in Hell'...Charming.
"Th...Thank you for your concern," he said politely, clinging a little tighter to Berwald's arm. "But you see, I really already have..." Several centuries ago, actually, "...so you don't need to--"
"God doesn't need your lies, faggot!"
"...Excuse me?"
The woman's eyes narrowed. "You're a sick fag, and if you don't let go of your twisted...lifestyle and let God heal you, you're going straight to Hell and dragging your loved ones with you!"
Tino's head was starting to hurt. "Look," he said placatingly, with a smile that didn't quite make it to his eyes, "I... really don't think my personal life should be of that much concern to you, Miss, and--"
"Tino."
Finland looked up at Sweden, who nodded his head quietly at the crowd of picketers beginning to draw close as though drawn by the woman's shouting, muttering epithets at the pair of them.
Oh, dear.
Things only got worse from there, as Tino tried more and more frantically to explain to the mob that really, they were a nice, loving family, went to church on Sundays and everything, and the picketers called him a liar, a faggot, and, once they found out that he and Su-san had a son, a pedophile.
"We're not--we'd never--" Tino wasn't even sure how to convey how disgusting that idea was. He looked to Su-san for help, turning the Big Helpless Doe Eyes on full blast.
It was at about that moment that one of the burlier members of the Church decided that their hand-holding was too offensive, and moved to separate them, saying something or other about how they made baby Jesus cry.
Sweden punched him in the face.
Gaping, Tino looked back and forth from the staggering man to his husband, who was looming with about the same level of menace that he always loomed with. "Su-san..." Sweden... Sweden had been neutral in every war for ages! Did he really just...
Sweden shrugged. "Di'n' like 's face."
"Oh," said Finland. "Well."
And then the shit hit the fan.
It started, Finland was reasonably certain, when someone had tried to hit Su-san, and something in Finland had shifted, a switch that had been flipped to "off" since the Winter War; the next thing he knew, that protester had been on the ground, clutching his arm, as Su-san and the rest of the little crowd looked at him in fear.
That's right, he thought, with a little smile that made a few of them flinch away further. Just try it. If Russia couldn't, you can't.
The next few minutes were a blur of fists and picket signs, mixed with the sound of battle cries that Finland had sworn long-forgotten and some particularly fierce yapping from Hanatamago as she darted back from the interesting squirrel carcass she'd been sniffing to protect her masters.
Really, they agreed privately, back in their safety of the house in Stockholm, it had been sort of... invigorating. It had been close to a millennium since either of them had had a good crusade to fend off.
The best part, though, was when America sent them a fruit basket in thanks.
The Importance of Tolerance: Epilogue
anonymous
May 21 2009, 18:22:42 UTC
[Because I saw the sniper-rifles-and-viking-ships comments after I wrote that first bit, and... that has to go in. It just does.]
It was a few days after the fruit basket arrived before either of them saw the card tucked to the side of the mango.
Sweden was the first to notice; he picked up the paper and opened it, glowering at the words on it.
"Hm."
"Is something wrong, Su-san?" asked Finland, glancing up from drying the dishes. There hadn't been much inflection in Su-san's voice, but he could just tell.
"Look 't this."
Tino set down his dish towel, reaching over to take the card from his husband's hand.
Dear Sweden and Finland,
Hey, thanks for beating those guys up! They keep saying I'm going to Hell for being too gay or something, and you don't say that kind of thing to a Hero, so they really had it coming anyway!
Oh--I should probably let you know, they're really pissed about the whole thing, and their latest press conference said they were gonna hop a plane out your way and stir stuff up over at your place. Thought I'd give you a heads-up! Anyway, hope you like the fruit basket--England said it was a good way to say thanks, so if you don't, blame him, okay?
-The Awesome United States of America
Tino blinked.
Sweden said nothing.
The door burst open, and Sealand came in, Hanatamago barking frantically at his heels. "Su-papa, Fin-mama!" he cried, in a panic. "A bunch of weird Americans are outside, and--why are you smiling?"
Tino patted him on the head, with the look of a saint.
"Peter," he said gently, "isn't Power Rangers about to come on? You should go upstairs and watch that."
Peter blinked. "Oh... right! I almost forgot--wouldn't want to miss that!"
As quickly as he came, he was gone, leaving his parents to look at each other for a long moment. Then:
"Do you remember where my--"
"Rifle? Top shelf 'f the tool shed." Tino could have sworn... if he didn't know better, he'd say Su-san had just smiled. "I'll cover ya. 'Til we get there."
Tino's eyes lit up. "You do that," he agreed quickly. "And I'll see about driving them towards the pond for you, all right?"
Behind his glasses, Sweden's eyes shone with affection. His wife really did know him...
There was a knock at the front door. Tino glanced towards it, then up at Sweden. "You said you'd cover me?"
Sweden nodded once. Finland leaned up and kissed him swiftly on the lips, a little bit of madness in his smile as he pulled away.
Re: The Importance of Tolerance: Epilogue
anonymous
May 22 2009, 19:13:51 UTC
^_____^
Do NOT mess with the hubby or the wife. Particularly when they haven't exactly put away the rifle OR the ship... Yay for America sending a fruit basket~ The horrifically awful/awesome default gift.
Liberal Gay!Anon Here
anonymous
May 22 2009, 23:58:27 UTC
:D Writer!Anon, you get my flamboyant love. Like, you don't even know how much I love this fic.
The WBC protested in anon's town once, at a goddamn football game. It was Flamboyant!Anon and like, 300 others, versus about 5 of them. It was awesome. Some guy had cupcakes.
I now want a sequel where Finland and Su-San kick the crap out of them. Again. <3
Captcha: in fallible. Wai, yes. Those two are infallible. <3<3
Re: Liberal!Fag Anon Again <3
anonymous
May 23 2009, 06:40:21 UTC
Cupcakes sound AMAZING right now, actually. D: Sadly, it's twenty-til-two in the morning, and it would be slightly awkward to get cupcake mix at this point.
Re: The Importance of Tolerance: Epilogue
anonymous
May 23 2009, 06:02:01 UTC
This Kans!anon lives less than an hour away from afore-mentioned nest of happiness and rainbows, and has had her high school graduation picketed by parents and (young, indoctrinated) children singing the "god hates fags" song. Not to mention every major culture or arts performance in the city. Apparently god also hates New York orchestras and Russian ballets.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I WANT VIKING!SU-SAN AND WINTERWAR!FINLAND TO COME HERE AND UNLEASH SOME SERIOUS INVASION OF VITAL REGIONS!!!!11 INVADE US!!! INVAAAAAAAAAAADE!!!
Re: The Importance of Tolerance: Epilogue
anonymous
May 24 2009, 10:59:35 UTC
PA?? That's crazy! I'm very sorry...
When they picketed my old high school a few weeks back, my younger brother and his friends (mostly jocks) wore hot pants and danced around in front of them. XD
"'f y'want," his husband grunted, acquiescently. "'S nice."
Yes, the weather was nice, their visit with Alfred had been nice, and Tino was feeling altogether nice about everything, when suddenly...
"You!"
He blinked. "...Me?"
A woman he'd never seen before was barreling towards him, carrying a large picket sign rather like one would carry a club. She was scowling, so much that Finland wondered immediately just what he had done and how he could apologize for it.
"You!" she began again, ramming a finger into his sternum and glaring. "You need to accept Christ into your life, right now!"
Finland blinked. Well, that was...certainly a novel approach. What was it her sign said, again? 'Liberal Fags Burn in Hell'...Charming.
"Th...Thank you for your concern," he said politely, clinging a little tighter to Berwald's arm. "But you see, I really already have..." Several centuries ago, actually, "...so you don't need to--"
"God doesn't need your lies, faggot!"
"...Excuse me?"
The woman's eyes narrowed. "You're a sick fag, and if you don't let go of your twisted...lifestyle and let God heal you, you're going straight to Hell and dragging your loved ones with you!"
Tino's head was starting to hurt. "Look," he said placatingly, with a smile that didn't quite make it to his eyes, "I... really don't think my personal life should be of that much concern to you, Miss, and--"
"Tino."
Finland looked up at Sweden, who nodded his head quietly at the crowd of picketers beginning to draw close as though drawn by the woman's shouting, muttering epithets at the pair of them.
Oh, dear.
Things only got worse from there, as Tino tried more and more frantically to explain to the mob that really, they were a nice, loving family, went to church on Sundays and everything, and the picketers called him a liar, a faggot, and, once they found out that he and Su-san had a son, a pedophile.
"We're not--we'd never--" Tino wasn't even sure how to convey how disgusting that idea was. He looked to Su-san for help, turning the Big Helpless Doe Eyes on full blast.
It was at about that moment that one of the burlier members of the Church decided that their hand-holding was too offensive, and moved to separate them, saying something or other about how they made baby Jesus cry.
Sweden punched him in the face.
Gaping, Tino looked back and forth from the staggering man to his husband, who was looming with about the same level of menace that he always loomed with. "Su-san..." Sweden... Sweden had been neutral in every war for ages! Did he really just...
Sweden shrugged. "Di'n' like 's face."
"Oh," said Finland. "Well."
And then the shit hit the fan.
It started, Finland was reasonably certain, when someone had tried to hit Su-san, and something in Finland had shifted, a switch that had been flipped to "off" since the Winter War; the next thing he knew, that protester had been on the ground, clutching his arm, as Su-san and the rest of the little crowd looked at him in fear.
That's right, he thought, with a little smile that made a few of them flinch away further. Just try it. If Russia couldn't, you can't.
The next few minutes were a blur of fists and picket signs, mixed with the sound of battle cries that Finland had sworn long-forgotten and some particularly fierce yapping from Hanatamago as she darted back from the interesting squirrel carcass she'd been sniffing to protect her masters.
Really, they agreed privately, back in their safety of the house in Stockholm, it had been sort of... invigorating. It had been close to a millennium since either of them had had a good crusade to fend off.
The best part, though, was when America sent them a fruit basket in thanks.
Reply
It was a few days after the fruit basket arrived before either of them saw the card tucked to the side of the mango.
Sweden was the first to notice; he picked up the paper and opened it, glowering at the words on it.
"Hm."
"Is something wrong, Su-san?" asked Finland, glancing up from drying the dishes. There hadn't been much inflection in Su-san's voice, but he could just tell.
"Look 't this."
Tino set down his dish towel, reaching over to take the card from his husband's hand.
Dear Sweden and Finland,
Hey, thanks for beating those guys up! They keep saying I'm going to Hell for being too gay or something, and you don't say that kind of thing to a Hero, so they really had it coming anyway!
Oh--I should probably let you know, they're really pissed about the whole thing, and their latest press conference said they were gonna hop a plane out your way and stir stuff up over at your place. Thought I'd give you a heads-up! Anyway, hope you like the fruit basket--England said it was a good way to say thanks, so if you don't, blame him, okay?
-The Awesome United States of America
Tino blinked.
Sweden said nothing.
The door burst open, and Sealand came in, Hanatamago barking frantically at his heels. "Su-papa, Fin-mama!" he cried, in a panic. "A bunch of weird Americans are outside, and--why are you smiling?"
Tino patted him on the head, with the look of a saint.
"Peter," he said gently, "isn't Power Rangers about to come on? You should go upstairs and watch that."
Peter blinked. "Oh... right! I almost forgot--wouldn't want to miss that!"
As quickly as he came, he was gone, leaving his parents to look at each other for a long moment. Then:
"Do you remember where my--"
"Rifle? Top shelf 'f the tool shed." Tino could have sworn... if he didn't know better, he'd say Su-san had just smiled. "I'll cover ya. 'Til we get there."
Tino's eyes lit up. "You do that," he agreed quickly. "And I'll see about driving them towards the pond for you, all right?"
Behind his glasses, Sweden's eyes shone with affection. His wife really did know him...
There was a knock at the front door. Tino glanced towards it, then up at Sweden. "You said you'd cover me?"
Sweden nodded once. Finland leaned up and kissed him swiftly on the lips, a little bit of madness in his smile as he pulled away.
"Best husband ever. Let's go!"
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Captcha: comedy harden. Indeed.
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And I commend you, writer!anon, I would have been much more severe with the group, myself ♥
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BTW, is this the church who also made the sites God Hates Sweden and God Hates America?
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Do NOT mess with the hubby or the wife. Particularly when they haven't exactly put away the rifle OR the ship... Yay for America sending a fruit basket~ The horrifically awful/awesome default gift.
Thanks for the laugh; I incredibly needed it!
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The WBC protested in anon's town once, at a goddamn football game. It was Flamboyant!Anon and like, 300 others, versus about 5 of them. It was awesome. Some guy had cupcakes.
I now want a sequel where Finland and Su-San kick the crap out of them. Again. <3
Captcha: in fallible. Wai, yes. Those two are infallible. <3<3
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That sounds amazing! So cupcakes will work, if I can't find my viking ship?
Captcha: was shotwell . By Finland, with his sniper rifle, I assume =D
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Sadly, it's twenty-til-two in the morning, and it would be slightly awkward to get cupcake mix at this point.
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DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I WANT VIKING!SU-SAN AND WINTERWAR!FINLAND TO COME HERE AND UNLEASH SOME SERIOUS INVASION OF VITAL REGIONS!!!!11
INVADE US!!! INVAAAAAAAAAAADE!!!
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When they picketed my old high school a few weeks back, my younger brother and his friends (mostly jocks) wore hot pants and danced around in front of them. XD
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It had everything, from badass moments to fluff to good laughs and shit, I think I love you for writing this, writer!anon
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