Wait, girls don't have a penis? 1/2
anonymous
May 21 2009, 17:02:44 UTC
Pure crack, no pairings whatsover. Sorry >< Well, mentions of Austria/Hungary ----
Austria Sure, he had known that she was a boy since... forever. You don't live in one house with someone for such a long time and don't notice such things, even more if you were married and... well. There were certain things that a couple would do, even if Hungary always claimed that he never would. Austria didn't mind, he was a quite private man, but on the other hand he never really understood why. Neither of it.
After all there was a nation just next to Hungary who dressed up like a girl half his time and had a husband, too.
Yet Poland never claimed to be a girl, he seemed pretty content with being a boy. Maybe that was the point.
Prussia Sure, he had known that Hungary was no normal girl. But she was no normal nation, either, because no nation should be able to kick awesome Prussia's ass. Never. Even less if it was a girl nation.
But he had never doubted that she was a girl, because... She didn't act like a boy, right? Nor did she look like one, breasts and all. And a penis was certainly no sign of anything, after all every nation grew one when they got older, right? He knew that it was different with human women, but nations... There was just nobody he could have checked with for that. He had tried to look under Liechtenstein's skirt, but that had ended up with West having him to save from a fate that included many bullet holes in his head, and Netherlands he couldn't really remember, but it involved much headache. Ukraine wore never skirts or dresses, and Belarus... Was just not a person he would have dared to do that to. People from her region meant major trouble, anyway.. And how could awesome Prussia have asked anyone? No, he wouldn't look stupid like that.
Germany Sure, he had known that his older brother could be a bit... special. But he hadn't supposed that he would be this special.
„East, I am sure it isn't.“
„But of course it is. Smaller than mine, though, but I am awesome so nobody can compare.“
Germany slightly doubted that. How many nation's respective places had he seen to be able to compare? But ...it was Prussia.
„It... East, it should be. She's a girl.“
He sighed when Prussia laid one arm around his shoulders and grinned like the superior wise old brother that he should be. „But, West, all children grow penisses when they grow older.“
Telephone
„Grüezi.“
„Ah... Hello, Switzerland, here's Germany.“
„What do want from my sister?“
„I just wanted to ask her something.“
„We don't talk about banks.“
A sigh. „Nothing economical or juristic.“
„Okay.“ Liechtenstein! „I'll shoot you if it is.“
Girls
„He really asked that?“ Netherlands sipped her cacao and giggled. „I mean, how did he get that idea?“
They had all come together to one of their occasional girl's days, completely not political gatherings that were just there to help some girls survive in a men's world. It had hit them hard when they had become one member less just when it had seemed that things would become easier now the USSR had fallen... just for Korea to declare that now she didn't trust anyone anymore and thus wouldn't come to even one meeting more. Nothing had been able to change her mind, and China had refused to talk her out of it, even after they had tried to bribe him with tons of pandas.
So now, they were sitting in at a nicely decorated table in Hungary's place - they took turns - and Liechtenstein had just told them about the call she had received earlier the week from the two German brothers.
„Maybe he thought that Feliks's was a girl.“
„ I can't imagine that this slut Lithuania could be into a girl.“
Looong pause.
„Since it's Prussia, maybe he-“
„HUNGARY! GIRLS DON'T HAVE PENISSES!“
Seven heads turned towards the door when a breatheless Prussia barged into the house and they could his heavy steps when he run up the stairs.
He door was thrown open. „HOW COULD YOU HAVE ONE!“
And six pairs of very observant eyes turned towards the seventh member of their round.
----
Austria
Sure, he had known that she was a boy since... forever. You don't live in one house with someone for such a long time and don't notice such things, even more if you were married and... well. There were certain things that a couple would do, even if Hungary always claimed that he never would. Austria didn't mind, he was a quite private man, but on the other hand he never really understood why. Neither of it.
After all there was a nation just next to Hungary who dressed up like a girl half his time and had a husband, too.
Yet Poland never claimed to be a girl, he seemed pretty content with being a boy. Maybe that was the point.
Prussia
Sure, he had known that Hungary was no normal girl. But she was no normal nation, either, because no nation should be able to kick awesome Prussia's ass. Never. Even less if it was a girl nation.
But he had never doubted that she was a girl, because... She didn't act like a boy, right? Nor did she look like one, breasts and all. And a penis was certainly no sign of anything, after all every nation grew one when they got older, right? He knew that it was different with human women, but nations... There was just nobody he could have checked with for that. He had tried to look under Liechtenstein's skirt, but that had ended up with West having him to save from a fate that included many bullet holes in his head, and Netherlands he couldn't really remember, but it involved much headache. Ukraine wore never skirts or dresses, and Belarus... Was just not a person he would have dared to do that to. People from her region meant major trouble, anyway.. And how could awesome Prussia have asked anyone? No, he wouldn't look stupid like that.
Germany
Sure, he had known that his older brother could be a bit... special. But he hadn't supposed that he would be this special.
„East, I am sure it isn't.“
„But of course it is. Smaller than mine, though, but I am awesome so nobody can compare.“
Germany slightly doubted that. How many nation's respective places had he seen to be able to compare? But ...it was Prussia.
„It... East, it should be. She's a girl.“
He sighed when Prussia laid one arm around his shoulders and grinned like the superior wise old brother that he should be. „But, West, all children grow penisses when they grow older.“
Telephone
„Grüezi.“
„Ah... Hello, Switzerland, here's Germany.“
„What do want from my sister?“
„I just wanted to ask her something.“
„We don't talk about banks.“
A sigh. „Nothing economical or juristic.“
„Okay.“ Liechtenstein! „I'll shoot you if it is.“
Girls
„He really asked that?“ Netherlands sipped her cacao and giggled. „I mean, how did he get that idea?“
They had all come together to one of their occasional girl's days, completely not political gatherings that were just there to help some girls survive in a men's world. It had hit them hard when they had become one member less just when it had seemed that things would become easier now the USSR had fallen... just for Korea to declare that now she didn't trust anyone anymore and thus wouldn't come to even one meeting more. Nothing had been able to change her mind, and China had refused to talk her out of it, even after they had tried to bribe him with tons of pandas.
So now, they were sitting in at a nicely decorated table in Hungary's place - they took turns - and Liechtenstein had just told them about the call she had received earlier the week from the two German brothers.
„Maybe he thought that Feliks's was a girl.“
„ I can't imagine that this slut Lithuania could be into a girl.“
Looong pause.
„Since it's Prussia, maybe he-“
„HUNGARY! GIRLS DON'T HAVE PENISSES!“
Seven heads turned towards the door when a breatheless Prussia barged into the house and they could his heavy steps when he run up the stairs.
He door was thrown open. „HOW COULD YOU HAVE ONE!“
And six pairs of very observant eyes turned towards the seventh member of their round.
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