In order to celebrate HETALIA'S anime adaptation. AXIS POWERS HETALIA KINK MEME
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hetalia kink meme
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Okay, let's make history and be more epic than these people, shall we?
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“…Your… booty?” America coughed, face red from amusement and the unknowingly exciting torture. Just when the hell had UK decided to grow a sense of humour and sex appeal in such a short amount of time?!
“Yes my booty.” The pirate nation stood and narrowed his green eyes. He mercifully pulled the sword away from his captive allowing the bound man to forcibly see his might. “My treasure! My fortune that I, the indomitable England, buried on those islands!” The red-coated man punctuated his point with a flare of his arm, regaling the incredible, strong naval vessel they currently travelled in.
USA froze.
“…England?” If this really wasn’t the UK he knew, then…
‘Don’t tell me I went to the past!’ America broke out into a sweat and tried to think furiously.
He vaguely remembered once when he was really small, he had stumbled upon a collection of paintings from England's younger days that the other nation had promptly hidden away from him. Later when he had pestered him, UK had waved him off irritably - his afternoon tea suspiciously smelling like rum - telling him it had been a few decades of drunken stupor, a poor sense of judgement, and one extreme case of mystical involvement.
Wait, mystical? Of course, England always fell for that sort of thing. Maybe he could work with something here.
“England.” US turned his face upwards to the pirate nation, relaxing in his bonds as if the façade was up. He tried not to grin when the tousled-haired man watched his reactions intently.
“You were right to suspect me. I was sent here to help you.”
England reared back, thick eyebrows raised high in surprise. “Help me?” A red tinge appeared on his cheeks.
“You must trust me at least a little bit.” America used his most charming voice, the smile in it audible. “You didn’t strip search me or anything like that.” Blue eyes glanced down at his mussed clothing and back up again. He squirmed a bit in faked discomfort.
…The blush on England’s face suddenly became fierce and he scoffed. “I am nothing like that arse France!” The nation snapped and then eyed America warily, cheeks still coloured. “You never answered. Help me how…?”
“That… machine, you found near me?” USA put all his willpower (which was actually quite a LOT) into keeping his expression serious. “It’s my chariot and good luck charm that I came to give to you.”
“……”
England was silent for a long moment, searching America’s face for any sign of trickery. “…I knew it must be!” He finally exclaimed, looking incredibly smug. “That’s why I had it taken with us.” He gestured to the floor, and USA followed the motion, figuring his time machine was in some kind of cargo hold.
‘Yes!’ US could’ve kissed the man for being such a trinket hog. “So you believe me?”
England didn’t reply, but seemed to lose some of his prickly-ness and came forward. “Very well then, I will release you.” The mighty pirate declared, and USA grinned roguishly… a flush creeping up his neck when England leaned in close once again to whisper in his ear.
“But don’t think I won’t have my eye on you.” Imminent danger softened England’s voice into something America wholeheartedly labelled sexy.
England knelt behind him to undo the rope knots around his wrists and USA started when he noticed a heavy weight against his rib. His firearm was still in his holster! If he could just get his gun then he would have England on his knees so fast - he’d jump in the time machine and get back to the future and act like this whole incident never happened!
As soon as he was free, the future nation got to his feet, hand reaching into his jacket and whirling around.
The tip of that increasingly disturbing blade was levelled at him again, and USA paused in extracting his gun.
“Just a precaution.” England smiled, no - more like smirked! - at his future counterpart, in a good-natured way. “You never did say. What is your name?”
USA lowered his eyebrows and grinned, opening his mouth to say ‘America’, like how the UK he knew had always called him, but stopped, changing his mind. A genuine smile graced his lips. “…You can call me United.”
A/N: sorry gettin long.
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D-don't worry about it getting long. Post as many parts as needed for this story, I don't mind at all~
(Waits in excitement for more) ♥♥♥
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“United.” England tasted the name. “You-”
BOOOOOM! The world suddenly exploded with sound and every object seemed knocked on its axis. The two nations went flying off their feet, landing on the wooden floorboards.
“Oof!” America grunted as the shorter man fell heavily on top of him, sword skittering away halfway across the room.
“Sir!” A heavily accented voice shouted, and one of England’s pirates threw open the door of the cabin.
Another deafening shudder rocked the ship and US felt England’s hands grip his thin shirt, knees squeezing against his thighs for balance as he sat up.
“Sir?” The pirate called from the door jam.
“WELL! WHAT! What the bloody hell is it!?” England yelled, trying to regain his bearings from where he straddled the taller man. America gazed up woozily at the frazzled pirate.
“It’s Spain! Spain is attacking us!” The scruffy, bearded man howled, disappearing from the doorway as more voices called for him from the deck.
“Spain!” Green eyes smouldered. “All right United! Show me how lucky you are!”
*
“DAMN!” USA cursed.
He was not lucky. Not lucky at ALL.
Somehow instead of basking in the glory of travelling to the distant future, he had stupidly ended up back in the past, embroiled in a naval battle of the dinkiest kind between England and Spain!
Canons and muskets. America could nearly groan. He knew he should have installed the missiles and ammunition into the prototype time machine.
As it was, the machine was somewhere below deck and he had immediately been inveigled into manning the sail lines and helping to steer the wounded vessel as Britain shouted out orders to fire at the tomato bastard. US pulled out his gun and shot too when he noticed debris flying too close to the man in red.
He put all his strength into holding a damaged rope taunt as the ship pushed swiftly through the churning waters.
“HAH! Those who dare to steal from me shall have no mercy!” That familiar voice laughed.
America looked over his shoulder from his station, and watched the other man he had known all his life throw his head back in the wind, feathers ruffling messily as the sea sprayed its anger over the rail.
USA swallowed hard.
This was England before America?
The heavily battered Spanish ship was forced to dock onto the beach of a populated isle and England called for a strategic retreat, commanding the vessel to stay hidden in a neighbouring islet. Neither ship could afford to keep fighting as nightfall descended over the Caribbean.
As the pirate ship was anchored out of sight of other possible passing crafts, USA wiped sweat away from his forehead and frowned in exasperation at having been put to work under the other nation, not getting a chance to make his getaway.
“She’s lost a lot of stability sir.” One of the pirates informed.
“Hm.” England replied proudly yet grimly from his place on the deck.
America rolled his eyes. He couldn’t figure out how the shorter man managed to find something to stand on and seem like he was cut from a painting. “And the hull?” He spoke up.
England looked at him from the corner of his eye. “The object is safe, though we will need repairs immediately.”
“Well, until then, let’s eat!” United grinned confidently.
*
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“It’s done! Here is yours, United.” England handed him a burnt haunch of meat.
“Oh uh…Thanks!” USA bit into it and tried to smile. It seemed England’s cooking had been worse before he had known him. What he wouldn’t give for a juicy hamburger right about now…
‘Stop that! The hamburger is what got you into this mess in the first place!!’ America rarely told himself off, but if there was anything this situation could be called it was RARE!
His stomach grumbled all over again, but at England’s suspicious look he covered it up by eating the haunch with more fervour.
The pirate nation seemed satisfied by that, relaxing and pulling out some maps and parchment to scratch plans for something or other on.
‘I guess this is kind of peaceful.’ America thought as he finished up his food and lay back on the ground.
A few moments later the blond man rolled around, simultaneously managing to feel sticky AND itchy from all the sand. ‘This crap is everywhere!’ America thought, unable to fight the urge to sit up and pull off one solid boot, pouring the grainy stuff out from inside.
No wonder his UK always got so miserable and unbearable like he had sand in his pants. The man probably still did to this day!!
“THAT’S it. I can’t take it anymore.” America muttered, pulling off his other boot and setting the pair aside a boulder.
England glanced up briefly, but otherwise ignored his newly acquired companion, thick eyebrows furrowed intensely as he scribbled on his parchments. ‘That’s right. We’re close…’ The tousle-haired man scrutinized his map.
Something heavy landed in the sand near him, causing the man to start slightly and spy that it was only the odd jacket of some type that United had been donning. Bloody ugly style, that. The pirate nation put it off, but when a flimsy black cloth fell just near the coat, England gradually stopped what he was doing altogether, staring as United pulled off one article of clothing after the other.
“What… in the bloody name of Davey Jones’s Locker are you doing?” England cleared his throat, his cheeks strangely burning.
“Going for a bath.” The spectacled man raised an eyebrow and unbuttoned the top of his pants.
Electric green eyes raked down the expanse of bare… strong… chest suddenly on display.
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Anon is fantastic and PLZPLZPLZ do not leave us hanging right before the sex! *WAILS*
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His gaze went lower to the loose pants and then eyes flicked back up to the other man’s face, United catching him in the act. England immediately averted his gaze. “Put back your clothes!”
USA almost sniggered. “Why?”
England glared balefully, voice domineering. “You shall not bathe until I deem it necessary.”
America’s lips quirked upward and he rolled his blue eyes, shrugging. If the other man felt more trustful having him on a tight leash then he decided to be complacent and began putting back on his boots and clothes. Getting back to his time machine tonight and assessing its damage was kind of a no-go with all the rangy pirates around.
His own gun was pretty much useless by now because of his emptied bullets, and he wasn’t really eager to be on the bad end of that damn sword anymore. He flushed slightly as he slipped his shirt back over his head. ‘Well not REALLY anyway.’
“OK no bath.” USA agreed cheekily, a sly smile playing on his mouth as he took long strides over to the other. “But what you’re saying is,” He leant over to the seated tousle-haired man’s ear, his glasses glinting naughtily from the fire. “…You’d prefer me dirty.”
The ear turned red and the pirate nation narrowed his eyes, pressing a gloved palm against America’s broad chest to push him back a few inches.
“Don’t forget you are MY plunder.” England’s expression was indignant, his gaze piercing. “When the time comes, I’ll have you any way I want!”
The seated man gave America a final shove, and the tall blond nation felt unapologetically thrilled at having riled him up.
“You sure about that? I think maybe you’d want me to have you, instead.”
The indomitable England blushed, refusing to hear any more.
“That, United, will be the day when I ally myself with the likes of France!” He scorned.
USA blinked.
“Now come over here and look at this.” England snapped a piece of paper sharply.
“I have it on good knowledge that France,” The pirate nation spat that same name like it was sour wine. “Is here.” One gloved finger circled a patch of land on the neighbouring isle where Spain had docked.
“Oh yeah?” America asked idly, looming over the seated nation’s shoulder, peering curiously at the rough map.
“Tomorrow we strike!”
*
Never ones to give up an opportunity to mess with France, the Pirates spent the rest of the night and next day preparing for a raid on the French ball set to be held in the central town on the populated island.
When the afternoon sun was high in the sky, the crew returned to the patched up ship to gather their gear.
As soon as America’s combat boots clucked against the weathered wooden floorboards, the tall blond immediately headed towards to cargo bay to try to find his time machine. ‘Finally! A chance!’ He thought feverishly.
“Hold it.” England appeared behind him, and… was that a gun pressed into his back?! “Remove those garments, United.”
USA paused at the authoritative command and then turned around with a furtive smile as he looked at the shorter man. He was beginning to think he liked this strangely diabolical side of the other nation. Just realizing that, America knew what a mess he was in when he found himself… undeniably attracted to England of all nations.
“But you didn’t want me to last night?” USA smiled, full of himself with the half-question, half-statement.
England’s face flared with heat enough to match the colour of his hat and put away his flintlock gun. “Cur!” The pirate nation threw something at him and America caught it, holding it out in front of him for a better look.
“Replace your jacket with that one. Otherwise we will be noticed in no time at all!”
USA slipped on the muted blue coat with silver trimming and looked at the opposing red of England’s. He wisely kept his foot out of his mouth.
A/N: oh fuck..lol.. anon knows this isn’t ff.net but is a big fan of adventure. anon apologizes for the lack of sex, its coming hard.
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:D
♥ ♥ ♥ !
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"The indomitable England blushed, refusing to hear any more."
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