I will keep you in my cage Vulnerable bird The world will break your wings
I guess company is like alcohol; the first sip is horrible, but along the way you get addicted to it. At least that’s how it was for me. Growing up, I felt little need to be social. Though I had an elder sister, we were both brought up to be strong individuals who wouldn’t rely on others, and during a few years it influenced our relationship. Even in matters in which we agreed, we would end up in troubled discussions trying to persuade the other that our own opinion was a little different and therefore a little more correct than the other’s. I won’t even try to explain to you how much more frustrating the arguments were when we disagreed - let’s just say I’ve broken bones trying to stand my ground.
Our friendly meetings went from weekly to monthly, then once a year, and somewhere along the line we just stopped seeing each other. I felt relieved; alone it was so much easier to handle business and make decisions, and having gained my freedom, I felt little need to go through it all again when a younger sister showed up. She’s still nagging me about how little time I spend with her - but honestly, unlike Arthur and Francis I don’t feel like wasting my time fighting over nonsense.
Compared to what many think, though, being asocial doesn’t mean you don’t care for the people around you. Maybe I can’t explain myself with fancy psychological terms, which many have tried to through time (just go look up “Soviet Union” in your local library - you’ll be surprised), but I do know what I feel, and that is far from hate.
As I grew older, I noticed the pain that was holding the world in a strong grip. A pain that made people selfish and self-centred, only focused on their own needs here and now, turning their back to the future. But I wasn’t stupid enough to believe that is human nature. Too many philosophers have written thick books about egoism as a part of life, but I refuse to look at that as the whole truth. People are not born selfish, they’re shaped by the society. And in many countries society did demand such horrendous behaviour from its population in order to make the economy steady.
Realising this angered me. How was that ever a solution? The reality triggered my emotional senses, and the wars I fought the next couple of years, which you’ve probably learned about as being repressive, were fought with people’s well as my first priority. I never intended to hurt anyone during the process, though I know I did, now looking back with a newfound knowledge.
But, you know, the funny thing is, comparing scars, I think I was the one who got hurt the most. At your local bookstore you may find facts about my scarred past, but facts are just bitter words written by a cold hand. The touching truths never reach the history books, but I’m here to serve you one now. I couldn’t have cared less about the riots, the countries who fought to see me die or the silly documentaries Alfred made about ‘real communism’ that taught the American children ‘facts’. What really penetrated my heart and left a hole there to be, was something as simple as a stubborn, nervous kid, whose green eyes I strangely still dream about.
History time, kids, but I can’t promise happy endings. Will you all listen to an old man for once?
Learning love - part 2
anonymous
April 1 2009, 19:52:00 UTC
Thanks for comment, makes writer!anon happy :D
July 21st
It’s said, you’re to live with people for at least a year if you truly want to learn who they are. But apparently, it’s the first couple of seconds with someone new that counts. 30 seconds; it doesn’t take more for the brain to decide whether you like the newcomer or not.
My brain went nuts the first time Toris entered my home. For me it was like getting a new toy, something untouched and precious that was for me only. Back then he was 17, his skin clean and without any signs of roughness, his eyes innocent as had he just been born. He was extremely nervous, grinding hands, looking at anything but me as he was seated in a couch.
“And who might this be, hmm?” I questioned the man who’d brought my toy.
“Laurinaitis. Toris Laurinaitis, sir. Lithuania has become a part of the Soviet Union.” I had my eyes fixed on the shaking body that was doing it’s best to stay sitting up straight. Apparently, my intimidating attitude was hard to turn off.
“Very well. You may leave,” I purred. He bowed before leaving the room, closing the door behind as he did so. The kid’s gaze went to the floor. “We’re all alone now,” I commented, receiving a forced laugh from him as I did so. It made a smile cross my lips. I admit it; I find fear extremely attractive.
Normally, we don’t fear what is right now, but what is to come. I like being unpredictable, see people’s hands turn sweaty and their heart rhythm reach a dangerous point. As I sneaked my way around Toris, watching him as an animal watches its prey, I could’ve crossed off every sign of anxiousness in the book. I swear he was at the point of fainting as I turned towards the door, drew a key from my jacket and locked it.
“So, tell me,” I turned to him with my best smile, “do you know who I am?” He swallowed a year’s worth of salvia.
“You’re..” His voice broke. I, being the patient person I am, seated myself beside him, making him gasp and move a little. “You’re Russia.”
“Now you’re hurting my feelings, I do have a name.”
“S-sorry…” He noticed my face. “..sir. You’re Ivan Braginsky.”
“What a smart kid you are.” I patted his head with a happy smile. “We’ll make something good of this partnership, yes?”
Later that day I had to carry him to bed as he fainted during our conversation. I had no actual feelings about it at that time. As I said, for me he was like a new toy. A kid never cares for its toys before they’re ruined. I guess they say the same about love, but I wouldn’t really know. I do know, though, as I placed him on a bed, his small whispers for Feliks was what gave me the idea that ruining Poland would be a fun event.
Re: Learning love - part 2
anonymous
April 6 2009, 06:44:38 UTC
And I found a new story to bookmark and follow. Please continue so I wouldn't be disappointed when I check back to read more. This is very well written and the plot is very intriguing.
Learning love - part 3
anonymous
April 7 2009, 22:56:14 UTC
I thank kindly for the nice comments - it's always a joy to hear one's work is being enjoyed : D
August 1st
I don’t believe there’s a God.
Let’s play it fair. You say: “I believe,” I say: “I do not.” You ask me to argue for my point of view, and so I do: “There’s so much misery in this world. If there really was a God, he would’ve stopped it.” You don’t believe my point to be fair at all: “God does exist, he has just chosen not to participate in life on Earth.” This is a funny argument. Let me show you why. Because when I say: “Then why has he created us human beings?” you’ll answer: “To test us. If we can live life without sin, we’ll again see Heaven.” I ask: “So if I don’t sin, I’ll go to Heaven?” because I think that’s a fair conclusion to make from your explanation. But no: “Not at all. In the end God decides.”
Now, you may be wondering what all this rambling is good for. But let me tell you this; I’m only trying to explain the fairness in the huge closedown of churches that went on during my time leading the country.
This is how people often argue for their religion. But what does it make them? Mindless fools. Yes, I am trying to irritate you now, which is why I’ll say it again; mindless fools. If God exist in the form for which there has been argued for, apparently we’re just his dolls. No matter what we do, in the end it’s for him to decide, whether it was good enough. That makes one helpless, and honestly I don’t like the sound of that.
I know a lot of Russia’s population were religious. Hell, I would’ve been surprised if they haven’t been. But I had to play the mother. Though a mother knows her kids won’t wear a jacket when it rains, though she has told them to, she keeps reminding them, since that’s her duty as a mother. When the kids then play in the rain and come home, soaking wet and sad, they can’t blame her for not being informative.
You see the parallel?
Well, here’s a dilemma for you: Toris was in fact religious.
Not just in the way that he would pray to God before sleeping or eating, but in the way that he would own a Bible. And read in it too, no kidding. He might just had been staying with me for a few days, but I quickly noticed how he would withdraw to his room in the evening and not been seen again before the following morning. Therefore I decided to watch him closely one day. As he’d excused himself after dinner, I gave him a few seconds to disappear up the stairs before I followed him. I may be big boned, but I can be incredible sneaky when I want to. Thus it was without a sound I made it to his room, quietly making my way to the keyhole to take a look inside.
There he was. In the middle of his bed, a Bible in the lap. He was reading out loud with a quiet voice, I remember, but the small whispers reached my ears. And so did the sobbing. Especially one helpless sentence got stuck in my mind: “Weeping may endure for the night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Though it embarrass my atheistic believes, that sentence has meant quite a lot to me in many situations since then. That night, however, all it meant was the burning of Toris’ Bible.
I kindly ask you to remember; I’m just a mother doing her duty, and no mother wants to see her child cry.
Re: Learning love - part 3
anonymous
April 8 2009, 05:16:15 UTC
Those last two lines gave this anon a shiver. I'm really enjoying how this is written...I have to say, I haven't seen anything even remotely similar. I can't wait to read more :)
Re: Learning love - part 3
anonymous
April 9 2009, 06:50:58 UTC
This is so good. But I want to see more of Lithuania's interactions with Russia. More Lithuania angst, resistance and punishment. Just more Toris, and if possible Feliks, please.
Learning love - part 4 (1/2)
anonymous
April 9 2009, 22:12:04 UTC
Again, the comments are much appreciated :D And to the anon above; there will be more interactions between Ivan and Toris, and Feliks will be in, too - promise! ^^ I have everything planned out - hope you'll enjoy~
I had to split up part 4, it was too long D: I's not the last part of the story, it's just.. yes, splitted xD
August 15th
Some days, all you want to do is be alone. As I’ve already told you, I have such days quite often. But with Toris it seemed different. It was as if he feared being alone, and when he couldn’t speak to the people around him, he would be sitting with a phone, having meaningless conversations with others - mostly Feliks, the most meaningless person in history, therefore perfect for such interactions.
It might have been some kind of reaction to my Bible-burning, but after we entered August, his phone bill really reached a new point. It peaked to be honest. And it hurt me a little. If he had so much need to discuss his feelings, why wasn’t I his first priority? He could’ve just knocked my door and said: “Sir, I need an appointment,” or something informal like that. But he didn’t. He never spoke to me unless I turned to him first, which became quite a problem seeing as how I rarely spoke without reason - chit-chatting isn’t my strongest side, mind you.
So, I may not be a man of words but surely of action, so I decided to make a move one day:
“Toris, there’s something I don’t quite get.”
We’d been sitting in the living room together for three hours; none of us had spoken a word since we entered, so it was with great surprise he shot a glare towards me and quickly closed his book (not Bible, something about animals). His eyes burned into mine, but his pupils were shaking. It was as if he couldn’t decide whether it was scariest to keep looking at me or try looking away.
“Y-yes,” he stuttered, “…sir?” See, I told you he’s a good boy.
I took my time closing the newspaper I’d my nose stuck into. I’ve made it a hobby through time to look at different countries articles to see what their opinion on Russia is. It’s funny because it changes so often - when they feel strong, I’m a fool and a sadist. When they’re low on recourses, I’m a hero. Capitalists. I don’t get them.
“There’s something I don’t get,” I repeated, placing the paper on the small table beside me, before turning my attention to Toris. He was sitting across the room, so I gestured to him to come forward. “And I don’t like that. Come, let’s have a friendly talk, yes?” He sat still for a moment, then he slowly got up and walked to me, taking his place in the couch. I turned to face him with the friendliest eyes I could manage. He seemed to take defence-mode.
“Are you having troubles?” A weird look received.
“What?”
“You’ve been using the phone an awfully lot lately. Are you having troubles you feel you need to share?”
“Uhhmm…” I could tell from the face he was making, that he had no idea I’d noticed. I wetted my dry lips with the tongue, patiently waiting for my answer. As it didn’t come, I encouraged him with a:
“You don’t think that’s enough of an answer for me, now do you?”
“No sir. It’s just, I…” Toris looked down. Then he let out a sight. “I… miss people.” His head sunk a little down between the shoulders. His legs were still shaking a little, though he tried to maintain himself. “I mean… my brothers… Feliks… I’m not used to being alone.”
“But I’m here?”
“Yes… Yes!” He sat up straight with a worried look on his face, desperately shaking the hands in front of him. “Yes, a-and I like you! It’s great! But.. you have work to do, of course. I mean, Russia’s a growing country, there’s a lot going on, and I don’t want to disturb you doing work. So it… gets a little lonely sometimes.”
Learning love - part 4 (2/2)
anonymous
April 9 2009, 22:13:23 UTC
I watched him a little, then I shook my head. “It’s not nice to lie to an old man,” I sighted. His eyes went nervous, and he swallowed hard.
“Wh-what do you mean?”
“That you shouldn’t lie.” I glared at him with disbelief in my eyes. “What do you take me for? I know you don’t like me. You don’t disturb me because you’re afraid you’ll actually have to spend time with me. Just look at you now-“ I reached out and kindly ran my fingers down his cheek, “you’re… shaking. Like a scared little mouse.” I bit my lower lip. His eyes were wide open.
“No.. that’s not true,” he whispered, but we both knew the truth was spilled. I let go of his cheek and pulled my arm back, receiving a sight in relief as I did so. For two seconds his face fell back to normal, then-
My fist smacked his right cheek, forcing his head to turn with a snap, banging against the couch. He yelled - at first in surprise, then in pain as he brought his hands to the red cheek with sobbing noises. “You hit me!”
“You lied to me! I’m sure your Bible don’t approve of that.” I stood up, not wasting a second look at him as I walked to the door. “You won’t be using the phone anymore. I’m taking it. If you need company, you know where my room is.”
I left to the sound of Toris crying. And I still didn’t feel a thing.
Re: Learning love - part 4 (2/2)
anonymous
April 10 2009, 17:39:54 UTC
I can see this leading up to Lithuania's first whipping, and the subsequent rebellions and punishments that were the source of his scars. This all seems to happen at the beginning of Lithuania's stay with Russia which would explain why he's so afraid. Later on I'd imagine their relationship became a lot more turbulent.
I'm really enjoying this fic and looking forward to more. You're doing a great job updating.
Learning love - part 5
anonymous
April 10 2009, 21:18:56 UTC
August 21st
I don’t like it when people don’t follow the rules of a game.
I like chess a lot. Chess is simple in the way that everyone can understand what it’s about, but extremely complicated when you look at all the possibilities there’s in just one game. There’s hundreds of ways to form a strategy, and you never know whether your game will be ruining your nerves or be an easy win.
Chess is the way I look at life. If the players follow the rules, in the end the most intelligent one will win. Of course, back then I thought of that one as being me. Why shouldn’t I; I was - and is still today - the largest country when speaking size. I thought: “If I keep this up, soon the whole world will be called Soviet Union.”
Unfortunately, not everyone is happy about following rules. I won’t explain to you how many times Alfred has turned the table to make himself look like the winner, I’ll just mention it has happened. But one thing is having an unfair player far away from you - it’s a whole other thing when the unfairness goes on under your own roof.
Toris. The world calls him gentle and pleasing, but I can tell you this; his stubborn as hell and a pain in the ass if he wants to. Don’t let smiles fool you, for people like him it’s their best weapon.
Since our conversation in the living room about a week earlier, I hadn’t had the time to see him. My little sister was on the phone every day, and even when I unplugged it, letters from Cuba and Korea demanded my attention. As it had given me a constant headache, I decided I’ve earned a day off from work. I left the dusty office to stroll down the aisles, greeting and speaking to the persons I met.
“Braginski, sir! What a seldom sight!” Peter came towards me with arms white open and a smile dancing on his lips. I returned the smile, though with a little less teeth showing.
“Peter, my old friend. I should thank you for bringing coffee yesterday - it was just what I needed.”
“I thought so! From four years with you, sir, I’ve learned something.”
“Have you by any chance seen Toris?” Peter’s smile stiffened.
“Toris? Why?”
“I’m afraid you’re asking questions I won’t answer.”
“Sorry, sir. He’s in his room. He’s been there all week.” He scratched his neck with a little smile. “Poor thing, I think he’s a bit lonely when you’re in office.” His concerns made me smile. Though Peter had been one of my most trusted men in the army through time, and though his bloody hands had killed more men than I’ve witnessed dying, he was just an old emotional fool.
“I see. Well, I’m sure he’ll learn to amuse himself soon,” I said as a closing, as I walked past him to the stairs. I could hear Peter laugh helplessly, before yelling:
“Oh, he’s learned that already. He has got a phone after all.”
Re: Learning love - part 5
anonymous
April 11 2009, 04:25:55 UTC
Uh-oh. I have the feeling Lithuania is not going to be a very happy person when Russia finds him XD I love your writing style, and I can't wait to read more :)
Probably not what the OP had in mind, but when anon has started to type, anon can't stop D: Part 2 will follow shortly~
I will keep you in my cage
Vulnerable bird
The world will break your wings
I guess company is like alcohol; the first sip is horrible, but along the way you get addicted to it. At least that’s how it was for me. Growing up, I felt little need to be social. Though I had an elder sister, we were both brought up to be strong individuals who wouldn’t rely on others, and during a few years it influenced our relationship. Even in matters in which we agreed, we would end up in troubled discussions trying to persuade the other that our own opinion was a little different and therefore a little more correct than the other’s. I won’t even try to explain to you how much more frustrating the arguments were when we disagreed - let’s just say I’ve broken bones trying to stand my ground.
Our friendly meetings went from weekly to monthly, then once a year, and somewhere along the line we just stopped seeing each other. I felt relieved; alone it was so much easier to handle business and make decisions, and having gained my freedom, I felt little need to go through it all again when a younger sister showed up. She’s still nagging me about how little time I spend with her - but honestly, unlike Arthur and Francis I don’t feel like wasting my time fighting over nonsense.
Compared to what many think, though, being asocial doesn’t mean you don’t care for the people around you. Maybe I can’t explain myself with fancy psychological terms, which many have tried to through time (just go look up “Soviet Union” in your local library - you’ll be surprised), but I do know what I feel, and that is far from hate.
As I grew older, I noticed the pain that was holding the world in a strong grip. A pain that made people selfish and self-centred, only focused on their own needs here and now, turning their back to the future. But I wasn’t stupid enough to believe that is human nature. Too many philosophers have written thick books about egoism as a part of life, but I refuse to look at that as the whole truth. People are not born selfish, they’re shaped by the society. And in many countries society did demand such horrendous behaviour from its population in order to make the economy steady.
Realising this angered me. How was that ever a solution? The reality triggered my emotional senses, and the wars I fought the next couple of years, which you’ve probably learned about as being repressive, were fought with people’s well as my first priority. I never intended to hurt anyone during the process, though I know I did, now looking back with a newfound knowledge.
But, you know, the funny thing is, comparing scars, I think I was the one who got hurt the most. At your local bookstore you may find facts about my scarred past, but facts are just bitter words written by a cold hand. The touching truths never reach the history books, but I’m here to serve you one now. I couldn’t have cared less about the riots, the countries who fought to see me die or the silly documentaries Alfred made about ‘real communism’ that taught the American children ‘facts’. What really penetrated my heart and left a hole there to be, was something as simple as a stubborn, nervous kid, whose green eyes I strangely still dream about.
History time, kids, but I can’t promise happy endings. Will you all listen to an old man for once?
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July 21st
It’s said, you’re to live with people for at least a year if you truly want to learn who they are. But apparently, it’s the first couple of seconds with someone new that counts. 30 seconds; it doesn’t take more for the brain to decide whether you like the newcomer or not.
My brain went nuts the first time Toris entered my home. For me it was like getting a new toy, something untouched and precious that was for me only. Back then he was 17, his skin clean and without any signs of roughness, his eyes innocent as had he just been born. He was extremely nervous, grinding hands, looking at anything but me as he was seated in a couch.
“And who might this be, hmm?” I questioned the man who’d brought my toy.
“Laurinaitis. Toris Laurinaitis, sir. Lithuania has become a part of the Soviet Union.” I had my eyes fixed on the shaking body that was doing it’s best to stay sitting up straight. Apparently, my intimidating attitude was hard to turn off.
“Very well. You may leave,” I purred. He bowed before leaving the room, closing the door behind as he did so. The kid’s gaze went to the floor. “We’re all alone now,” I commented, receiving a forced laugh from him as I did so. It made a smile cross my lips. I admit it; I find fear extremely attractive.
Normally, we don’t fear what is right now, but what is to come. I like being unpredictable, see people’s hands turn sweaty and their heart rhythm reach a dangerous point. As I sneaked my way around Toris, watching him as an animal watches its prey, I could’ve crossed off every sign of anxiousness in the book. I swear he was at the point of fainting as I turned towards the door, drew a key from my jacket and locked it.
“So, tell me,” I turned to him with my best smile, “do you know who I am?” He swallowed a year’s worth of salvia.
“You’re..” His voice broke. I, being the patient person I am, seated myself beside him, making him gasp and move a little. “You’re Russia.”
“Now you’re hurting my feelings, I do have a name.”
“S-sorry…” He noticed my face. “..sir. You’re Ivan Braginsky.”
“What a smart kid you are.” I patted his head with a happy smile. “We’ll make something good of this partnership, yes?”
Later that day I had to carry him to bed as he fainted during our conversation. I had no actual feelings about it at that time. As I said, for me he was like a new toy. A kid never cares for its toys before they’re ruined. I guess they say the same about love, but I wouldn’t really know. I do know, though, as I placed him on a bed, his small whispers for Feliks was what gave me the idea that ruining Poland would be a fun event.
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excitedly awaiting the next part~
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ReCAPTCHA: "describe Tragedy" Really?
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August 1st
I don’t believe there’s a God.
Let’s play it fair. You say: “I believe,” I say: “I do not.” You ask me to argue for my point of view, and so I do: “There’s so much misery in this world. If there really was a God, he would’ve stopped it.” You don’t believe my point to be fair at all: “God does exist, he has just chosen not to participate in life on Earth.” This is a funny argument. Let me show you why. Because when I say: “Then why has he created us human beings?” you’ll answer: “To test us. If we can live life without sin, we’ll again see Heaven.” I ask: “So if I don’t sin, I’ll go to Heaven?” because I think that’s a fair conclusion to make from your explanation. But no: “Not at all. In the end God decides.”
Now, you may be wondering what all this rambling is good for. But let me tell you this; I’m only trying to explain the fairness in the huge closedown of churches that went on during my time leading the country.
This is how people often argue for their religion. But what does it make them? Mindless fools. Yes, I am trying to irritate you now, which is why I’ll say it again; mindless fools. If God exist in the form for which there has been argued for, apparently we’re just his dolls. No matter what we do, in the end it’s for him to decide, whether it was good enough. That makes one helpless, and honestly I don’t like the sound of that.
I know a lot of Russia’s population were religious. Hell, I would’ve been surprised if they haven’t been. But I had to play the mother. Though a mother knows her kids won’t wear a jacket when it rains, though she has told them to, she keeps reminding them, since that’s her duty as a mother. When the kids then play in the rain and come home, soaking wet and sad, they can’t blame her for not being informative.
You see the parallel?
Well, here’s a dilemma for you: Toris was in fact religious.
Not just in the way that he would pray to God before sleeping or eating, but in the way that he would own a Bible. And read in it too, no kidding. He might just had been staying with me for a few days, but I quickly noticed how he would withdraw to his room in the evening and not been seen again before the following morning. Therefore I decided to watch him closely one day. As he’d excused himself after dinner, I gave him a few seconds to disappear up the stairs before I followed him. I may be big boned, but I can be incredible sneaky when I want to. Thus it was without a sound I made it to his room, quietly making my way to the keyhole to take a look inside.
There he was. In the middle of his bed, a Bible in the lap. He was reading out loud with a quiet voice, I remember, but the small whispers reached my ears. And so did the sobbing. Especially one helpless sentence got stuck in my mind: “Weeping may endure for the night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Though it embarrass my atheistic believes, that sentence has meant quite a lot to me in many situations since then. That night, however, all it meant was the burning of Toris’ Bible.
I kindly ask you to remember; I’m just a mother doing her duty, and no mother wants to see her child cry.
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I'm really enjoying how this is written...I have to say, I haven't seen anything even remotely similar. I can't wait to read more :)
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I had to split up part 4, it was too long D: I's not the last part of the story, it's just.. yes, splitted xD
August 15th
Some days, all you want to do is be alone. As I’ve already told you, I have such days quite often. But with Toris it seemed different. It was as if he feared being alone, and when he couldn’t speak to the people around him, he would be sitting with a phone, having meaningless conversations with others - mostly Feliks, the most meaningless person in history, therefore perfect for such interactions.
It might have been some kind of reaction to my Bible-burning, but after we entered August, his phone bill really reached a new point. It peaked to be honest. And it hurt me a little. If he had so much need to discuss his feelings, why wasn’t I his first priority? He could’ve just knocked my door and said: “Sir, I need an appointment,” or something informal like that. But he didn’t. He never spoke to me unless I turned to him first, which became quite a problem seeing as how I rarely spoke without reason - chit-chatting isn’t my strongest side, mind you.
So, I may not be a man of words but surely of action, so I decided to make a move one day:
“Toris, there’s something I don’t quite get.”
We’d been sitting in the living room together for three hours; none of us had spoken a word since we entered, so it was with great surprise he shot a glare towards me and quickly closed his book (not Bible, something about animals). His eyes burned into mine, but his pupils were shaking. It was as if he couldn’t decide whether it was scariest to keep looking at me or try looking away.
“Y-yes,” he stuttered, “…sir?” See, I told you he’s a good boy.
I took my time closing the newspaper I’d my nose stuck into. I’ve made it a hobby through time to look at different countries articles to see what their opinion on Russia is. It’s funny because it changes so often - when they feel strong, I’m a fool and a sadist. When they’re low on recourses, I’m a hero. Capitalists. I don’t get them.
“There’s something I don’t get,” I repeated, placing the paper on the small table beside me, before turning my attention to Toris. He was sitting across the room, so I gestured to him to come forward. “And I don’t like that. Come, let’s have a friendly talk, yes?” He sat still for a moment, then he slowly got up and walked to me, taking his place in the couch. I turned to face him with the friendliest eyes I could manage. He seemed to take defence-mode.
“Are you having troubles?” A weird look received.
“What?”
“You’ve been using the phone an awfully lot lately. Are you having troubles you feel you need to share?”
“Uhhmm…” I could tell from the face he was making, that he had no idea I’d noticed. I wetted my dry lips with the tongue, patiently waiting for my answer. As it didn’t come, I encouraged him with a:
“You don’t think that’s enough of an answer for me, now do you?”
“No sir. It’s just, I…” Toris looked down. Then he let out a sight. “I… miss people.” His head sunk a little down between the shoulders. His legs were still shaking a little, though he tried to maintain himself. “I mean… my brothers… Feliks… I’m not used to being alone.”
“But I’m here?”
“Yes… Yes!” He sat up straight with a worried look on his face, desperately shaking the hands in front of him. “Yes, a-and I like you! It’s great! But.. you have work to do, of course. I mean, Russia’s a growing country, there’s a lot going on, and I don’t want to disturb you doing work. So it… gets a little lonely sometimes.”
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“Wh-what do you mean?”
“That you shouldn’t lie.” I glared at him with disbelief in my eyes. “What do you take me for? I know you don’t like me. You don’t disturb me because you’re afraid you’ll actually have to spend time with me. Just look at you now-“ I reached out and kindly ran my fingers down his cheek, “you’re… shaking. Like a scared little mouse.” I bit my lower lip. His eyes were wide open.
“No.. that’s not true,” he whispered, but we both knew the truth was spilled. I let go of his cheek and pulled my arm back, receiving a sight in relief as I did so. For two seconds his face fell back to normal, then-
My fist smacked his right cheek, forcing his head to turn with a snap, banging against the couch. He yelled - at first in surprise, then in pain as he brought his hands to the red cheek with sobbing noises. “You hit me!”
“You lied to me! I’m sure your Bible don’t approve of that.” I stood up, not wasting a second look at him as I walked to the door. “You won’t be using the phone anymore. I’m taking it. If you need company, you know where my room is.”
I left to the sound of Toris crying. And I still didn’t feel a thing.
Bastard.
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I'm really enjoying this fic and looking forward to more. You're doing a great job updating.
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I don’t like it when people don’t follow the rules of a game.
I like chess a lot. Chess is simple in the way that everyone can understand what it’s about, but extremely complicated when you look at all the possibilities there’s in just one game. There’s hundreds of ways to form a strategy, and you never know whether your game will be ruining your nerves or be an easy win.
Chess is the way I look at life. If the players follow the rules, in the end the most intelligent one will win. Of course, back then I thought of that one as being me. Why shouldn’t I; I was - and is still today - the largest country when speaking size. I thought: “If I keep this up, soon the whole world will be called Soviet Union.”
Unfortunately, not everyone is happy about following rules. I won’t explain to you how many times Alfred has turned the table to make himself look like the winner, I’ll just mention it has happened. But one thing is having an unfair player far away from you - it’s a whole other thing when the unfairness goes on under your own roof.
Toris. The world calls him gentle and pleasing, but I can tell you this; his stubborn as hell and a pain in the ass if he wants to. Don’t let smiles fool you, for people like him it’s their best weapon.
Since our conversation in the living room about a week earlier, I hadn’t had the time to see him. My little sister was on the phone every day, and even when I unplugged it, letters from Cuba and Korea demanded my attention. As it had given me a constant headache, I decided I’ve earned a day off from work. I left the dusty office to stroll down the aisles, greeting and speaking to the persons I met.
“Braginski, sir! What a seldom sight!” Peter came towards me with arms white open and a smile dancing on his lips. I returned the smile, though with a little less teeth showing.
“Peter, my old friend. I should thank you for bringing coffee yesterday - it was just what I needed.”
“I thought so! From four years with you, sir, I’ve learned something.”
“Have you by any chance seen Toris?” Peter’s smile stiffened.
“Toris? Why?”
“I’m afraid you’re asking questions I won’t answer.”
“Sorry, sir. He’s in his room. He’s been there all week.” He scratched his neck with a little smile. “Poor thing, I think he’s a bit lonely when you’re in office.” His concerns made me smile. Though Peter had been one of my most trusted men in the army through time, and though his bloody hands had killed more men than I’ve witnessed dying, he was just an old emotional fool.
“I see. Well, I’m sure he’ll learn to amuse himself soon,” I said as a closing, as I walked past him to the stairs. I could hear Peter laugh helplessly, before yelling:
“Oh, he’s learned that already. He has got a phone after all.”
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I love your writing style, and I can't wait to read more :)
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