Disorder and Discord (3/4)
anonymous
March 29 2009, 06:52:47 UTC
The bar is actually a lot more acceptable than Arthur would have expected from Ivan. Ivan’s sensibility makes Arthur’s head twist unpleasantly when he tries to understand it, but this time he find himself appreciating the Russian’s taste. They even serve warm beer, and for the first time in a while he finds himself relaxing as they eat simple bar French fries and skewers and laugh at their lecturers and dorm mates. Ivan and Alfred bounce arguments off of each other, downing vodka almost like water.
Arthur’s eyes rest on Raivis, the two of them sitting quietly next to their friends and watching them become more and more passionate as they turn their discussion to politics. He counts the glasses on the bar in front of the boy and…wait. He blinks. Arthur can’t be drunk yet- he’s only had a few beers.
The number of glasses in front of blond boy isn’t a hallucination. “err…Raivis?” he says quietly. “Are you…alright?”
He hangs his head like he’s ashamed, eyes dark and face lax. He shakes his head, not raising his eyes. Arthur feels his heart stop. “You feel sick? I can get you something-”
Raivis shakes his head harder, letting a small sound out of his throat. “Nothing. ’S nothing. … not alright.”
Glancing nervously at Ivan before scooting closer, Arthur rests a hand on Raivis’ back. “It’s not alright?” he prods gently, taking his glass of vodka away. The boy seems to curl in on himself. He’s sobbing, Arthur realises. Raivis is sobbing heartbrokenly, quietly.
“…Ivan…sorry. I’m sorry…”
Then, Alfred’s booming voice shatters the air between them. “Hey Art- I beat your score in English, right? I told you, Ivan, I said-“
Arthur stays silent. His friends turn to him and Raivis hides his face in the bar.
“Oh, Raivis,” the Russian sighs. “I am telling you always that drinking so fast is not helping you.”
After what Arthur has heard, Ivan’s comment sends chills down his spine, but he has no time to worry about that because Alfred has his face in his personal space.
“We should probably head off then,” the American says. “Wouldn’t want to make Rai suffer.”
The Latvian says nothing.
-
Click. Clatter.
“Yun Soo, I thought you were off!”
“In a second Aniki. In a second.”
Yao storms through the room, finally fed up. “You said that an hour ago. And two hours ago. You haven’t even started that report, aru!”
“In a second. I swear.” Yao stands and crossed his arms. He has to do this report. They have to do it and he has to do well. He has to, because last test he made stupid mistakes and only came in second after Japan, and that’s not good enough. He has to be the best, or he won’t be able to face his parents back in China.
Click. Click.
Yao glares at him. He’s always online. Never does anything else, and Yao’s beginning to wonder if it’s healthy or not. He has to remind Yun Soo to eat sometimes; he wakes up in the middle of the night to see his brother’s face illuminated by a laptop screen.
“It’s like…feeling connected to everything, you know?” he’d tried to explain once. “And when I’m not on, then- who knows what I’m missing? I might miss an e-mail or someone on DODA might need me or…I dunno. I’m scared if I’m not communicating. You know?”
Yao doesn’t know at all. He walks off finishes their report alone, worrying about test percentages and keyboards.
Disorder and Discord (4/4)
anonymous
March 29 2009, 07:00:49 UTC
The sound of retching fills the bar’s restroom.
Alfred is purging in the toilet.
Arthur rests the back of his head against the door and closes his eyes, emotion surging under his skin and deep in his chest. He listens until the sound is gone, and then gives his friend a minute before opening the door to peer inside. Alfred jerks his head up from the sink where he is washing his hands.
“Ready to go?” he asks, forcing himself to smile and look him in the eye. He’s a liar. He’s staring at a liar, but he’s the one living the lie because he knows. He’s known about this for years and he doesn’t know what to do. Arthur’s a liar, and Alfred’s a liar, and Raivis has been lying to them all along about something that they’ll probably never find out.
As they walk out together into the night, Arthur thinks that Ivan is probably the only honest one between them. Suddenly his eyebrows don’t seem like such a big problem any more.
-
Kiku Honda watches Alfred, Arthur, Ivan and Latvia walking back in the dark outside, three storeys below and somehow even further away. They look as though they’re having fun.
Kiku likes Arthur- he’s friendly and amiable in a sarcastic kind of way. Latvia smiles at him in their Advanced Physics classes; Kiku should really apologise to Ivan for that fight that they had at the end of last year, but he never has. Alfred’s always the life of every party, they say.
Not that Kiku would know, of course. He never goes.
He’s always asked. Taiwan flirts with him when they sit next to each other in class. He has plenty of friends- people he talks to in class about tests and so on. He visits Feliciano and Ludwig’s dorm sometimes and they have fun, talking and laughing and drinking a quiet German beer or two.
But he can’t. He can’t leave his room, he can’t go and talk with people and god-forbid should he ever go into a bar, because they’d be real people there, strangers…
It hurts him when he has to turn down Feliciano’s offer to celebrate his birthday at a nearby club. When Alfred rings him up and tells him that Ivan-knows-a-cool-new-bar-want-to-come? he wants nothing more than to be able to just say yes.
But he knows that it’s just pity. They don’t really like him. And even if they do, Kiku’ll do something strange and he’ll embarrass himself and they’ll all laugh. He’ll have to do something that isn’t part of the everyday, isn’t on his script. He’ll have to improvise in front of all of his perfect, happy, social friends, and he’ll fail. And that terrifies him more than anything.
As he listens to Alfred’s voice outside in the corridor, Kiku curls up in his bed and wishes that he were normal.
- Sorry- anon is not really familiar with human names. Hope they were all correct...^^;
I suppose this is all up to interpretation but just in case you want a list:
Re: Disorder and Discord (4/4)
anonymous
March 29 2009, 08:46:19 UTC
Oh. Oh my.
T_T
My heart broke anew with every character I read. Why, oh why, did these characterisations fit so well? The ones I loved most were Canada's, South Italy's and Japan's because they were just too devastaingly true. And the bit about Arthur thinking that Ivan may be the most honest of the all? That line was the one that moved me he most.
Re: Disorder and Discord (4/4)
anonymous
March 31 2009, 01:58:52 UTC
I enjoyed this probably more than I should have. The Germany and Italy part was adorable and the bar scene was interesting (I liked the bar scene but I can't seem to describe how or why I liked it). I was surprised with Greece being a hypersomniac though it defiantly seems to fit him. (I have hypersomnia too but I have medication.) Anyway good job author!anon
Arthur’s eyes rest on Raivis, the two of them sitting quietly next to their friends and watching them become more and more passionate as they turn their discussion to politics. He counts the glasses on the bar in front of the boy and…wait. He blinks. Arthur can’t be drunk yet- he’s only had a few beers.
The number of glasses in front of blond boy isn’t a hallucination. “err…Raivis?” he says quietly. “Are you…alright?”
He hangs his head like he’s ashamed, eyes dark and face lax. He shakes his head, not raising his eyes. Arthur feels his heart stop. “You feel sick? I can get you something-”
Raivis shakes his head harder, letting a small sound out of his throat. “Nothing. ’S nothing. … not alright.”
Glancing nervously at Ivan before scooting closer, Arthur rests a hand on Raivis’ back. “It’s not alright?” he prods gently, taking his glass of vodka away. The boy seems to curl in on himself. He’s sobbing, Arthur realises. Raivis is sobbing heartbrokenly, quietly.
“…Ivan…sorry. I’m sorry…”
Then, Alfred’s booming voice shatters the air between them. “Hey Art- I beat your score in English, right? I told you, Ivan, I said-“
Arthur stays silent. His friends turn to him and Raivis hides his face in the bar.
“Oh, Raivis,” the Russian sighs. “I am telling you always that drinking so fast is not helping you.”
After what Arthur has heard, Ivan’s comment sends chills down his spine, but he has no time to worry about that because Alfred has his face in his personal space.
“We should probably head off then,” the American says. “Wouldn’t want to make Rai suffer.”
The Latvian says nothing.
-
Click. Clatter.
“Yun Soo, I thought you were off!”
“In a second Aniki. In a second.”
Yao storms through the room, finally fed up. “You said that an hour ago. And two hours ago. You haven’t even started that report, aru!”
“In a second. I swear.” Yao stands and crossed his arms. He has to do this report. They have to do it and he has to do well. He has to, because last test he made stupid mistakes and only came in second after Japan, and that’s not good enough. He has to be the best, or he won’t be able to face his parents back in China.
Click. Click.
Yao glares at him. He’s always online. Never does anything else, and Yao’s beginning to wonder if it’s healthy or not. He has to remind Yun Soo to eat sometimes; he wakes up in the middle of the night to see his brother’s face illuminated by a laptop screen.
“It’s like…feeling connected to everything, you know?” he’d tried to explain once. “And when I’m not on, then- who knows what I’m missing? I might miss an e-mail or someone on DODA might need me or…I dunno. I’m scared if I’m not communicating. You know?”
Yao doesn’t know at all. He walks off finishes their report alone, worrying about test percentages and keyboards.
-
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Alfred is purging in the toilet.
Arthur rests the back of his head against the door and closes his eyes, emotion surging under his skin and deep in his chest. He listens until the sound is gone, and then gives his friend a minute before opening the door to peer inside. Alfred jerks his head up from the sink where he is washing his hands.
“Ready to go?” he asks, forcing himself to smile and look him in the eye. He’s a liar. He’s staring at a liar, but he’s the one living the lie because he knows. He’s known about this for years and he doesn’t know what to do. Arthur’s a liar, and Alfred’s a liar, and Raivis has been lying to them all along about something that they’ll probably never find out.
As they walk out together into the night, Arthur thinks that Ivan is probably the only honest one between them. Suddenly his eyebrows don’t seem like such a big problem any more.
-
Kiku Honda watches Alfred, Arthur, Ivan and Latvia walking back in the dark outside, three storeys below and somehow even further away. They look as though they’re having fun.
Kiku likes Arthur- he’s friendly and amiable in a sarcastic kind of way. Latvia smiles at him in their Advanced Physics classes; Kiku should really apologise to Ivan for that fight that they had at the end of last year, but he never has. Alfred’s always the life of every party, they say.
Not that Kiku would know, of course. He never goes.
He’s always asked. Taiwan flirts with him when they sit next to each other in class. He has plenty of friends- people he talks to in class about tests and so on. He visits Feliciano and Ludwig’s dorm sometimes and they have fun, talking and laughing and drinking a quiet German beer or two.
But he can’t. He can’t leave his room, he can’t go and talk with people and god-forbid should he ever go into a bar, because they’d be real people there, strangers…
It hurts him when he has to turn down Feliciano’s offer to celebrate his birthday at a nearby club. When Alfred rings him up and tells him that Ivan-knows-a-cool-new-bar-want-to-come? he wants nothing more than to be able to just say yes.
But he knows that it’s just pity. They don’t really like him. And even if they do, Kiku’ll do something strange and he’ll embarrass himself and they’ll all laugh. He’ll have to do something that isn’t part of the everyday, isn’t on his script. He’ll have to improvise in front of all of his perfect, happy, social friends, and he’ll fail. And that terrifies him more than anything.
As he listens to Alfred’s voice outside in the corridor, Kiku curls up in his bed and wishes that he were normal.
-
Sorry- anon is not really familiar with human names. Hope they were all correct...^^;
I suppose this is all up to interpretation but just in case you want a list:
Germany- Obssesive Compulsive Personailty Disorder
Italy- Infatuation
France- ...attention seeking?
Canada- Occasional Weed/ Inferiority
South Italy- Comfort eating/jealousy
Greece- Hypersomnia
England- Body Dysmorphic disorder (eyebrows ^^;)
Russia- …being Russia?
Latvia- Alcoholism
China- Pressure/perfectionism
Korea- Internet Addiction
America- Bulimia
Japan- Social Phobia
List is far from concrete, but then again, neither are the people they describe. :) Take of this what you will, anons!
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My heart breaks for all of them. But so much for Raivis. And Kiku. And Matthew. Oh God, Matthew. :(
Glorious job, anon!
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was a little paranoid that the representations would be OOC, as I haven't written Matthew or Francis or Arthur or even really Raivis properly before.
neway- thanks a heap!
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Which, by the way, was EXCELLENT.
Kudos again, anon! (yay bulimic!Alfred returns <3) Japan's social phobia is a great (and historically reminiscent) touch.
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matthew made me cringe a bit. and GOD. al. sdfhsuef and lativia.
u_____u ♥ ilu anonwriter!
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T_T
My heart broke anew with every character I read. Why, oh why, did these characterisations fit so well? The ones I loved most were Canada's, South Italy's and Japan's because they were just too devastaingly true. And the bit about Arthur thinking that Ivan may be the most honest of the all? That line was the one that moved me he most.
Well done anon, well done.
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This fic was so good!
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