Alfred's House is crowded. Financial Crisis Family Fic, Arthur and his grandkid-states. 3/3
anonymous
March 19 2009, 22:26:57 UTC
The door slammed open and Alfred shuffled in, clearly exhausted, his hair whipped into a mess by the huge winds that gusted from Mattew's house down through Tornado Alley. Alfred smiled weakly at the chorus of "Dad!" "Dad, there you are," "Hi, Papa," "Hello, Father," "Mornin' Daddy," and assorted other greetings infused with varying levels of affection and hostility. He waved a hand in a futile, cursory effort to quite them all, before his eyes fell on Arthur and his shoulders relaxed a bit more. He dropped a brief kiss on Arthur's lips and collapsed in a chair Connecticut pulled up for him and managed to wedge in at the already crowded table. He grabbed Arthur's hand in his and squeezed lightly, ignoring his kids peppering him with questions.
Virginia's clear voice carried above the rest.
"Daddy, Richard really needs-" Alfred through up his hands.
"I talked to my bosses, okay? The OMB says Sanford can't pull this crap, it's up to him to take care of the rest of it."
"Where were you?" demanded perhaps a dozen of the rabble at once.
Alfred sighed and kneaded his temples.
"I was in Wyoming. Morris is cruising along at a pretty 3.7%, so I was trying to figure out if he's doing anything the rest of you could use, or if he just doesn't have enough people to get high unemployment."
"Fucker," Rhode Island muttered, without lifting his face from Alaska's chest.
"Poor baby," Alfred crooned, ruffling Rhode Island's hair.
"M'not a baby. M'one of th'original trideca - triskeda - original thirteen!" Rhode Island protested.
Rhode Island, England remembered, had been the most terrifyingly individualisic, intractable toddler he had ever had the misfortune of attempting to control. Even Alfred thought he was radical - which, Arthur supposed, was what happened when all the other colonies' exiled heretics congregated in the same place. Alfred sighed. He kissed Virginia on the cheek and Massachusetts on the forehead before tugging on Arthur's arm.
"You kids mind if I borrow your granddad for while? Daddy's wiped out, he needs comfort sex."
Arthur allowed his beloved-lover-son to drag him away, both of them stiffling much-needed laughter at the good-hearted protests of permanent trauma and unpayable therapy bills that chased after them.
Notes: South Carolina's governor Mark Sanford wants to spend that state's share of the federal stimulus money on paying the state debt instead of fixing its school system. Obama (and his Office of Management and Budget) is telling him he can't, but the wording of the bill is ambiguous. Vermont is French for "Green Wood", and was captured by Britian in the French and Indian war. Pennsylvania is often described as a miniature version of the US, with liberal population centers to the East and West but conservative rural areas in between (aka Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with Alabama in the middle). To determine their varying degrees of misery, I made plentiful use of current state unemployment rates as provided by this map from th Department of Labor Statistics: http://data.bls.gov/map/servlet/map.servlet.MapToolServlet?datatype=unemployment&year=2009&period=M01&survey=la&map=state&seasonal=s
Re: Alfred's House is crowded. Financial Crisis Family Fic, Arthur and his grandkid-states. 3/3
anonymous
March 19 2009, 22:50:13 UTC
European!Anon was thoroughly amused by this despite having no knowledge of the local stereotypes beyond the geography. So consider the job well done :)
Rhode Island/Alaska - YES THAT ORDER
anonymous
March 20 2009, 15:40:56 UTC
author!anon now has a terrible craving for filthy RI/Alaska smut of Rhode Island fisting his younger brother. Possibly with scarf!bondage. Because Alaska has a scarf, damnit, even if I can't figure out what color it is.
Re: Rhode Island/Alaska - YES THAT ORDER
anonymous
March 20 2009, 21:42:47 UTC
Alaska!anon thinks this is all quite hilarious X3 *gives all the states big nuzzling hug*
of course there's a scarf! maybe blue, with little stars? Because everyone knows red, white, blue and stars are best, but America would shit bricks before he gave AK a red one :p
Re: Rhode Island/Alaska - YES THAT ORDER
anonymous
March 20 2009, 23:16:45 UTC
Or gold and black for... gold and oil? O_o Ehhhh idk. i could see WA or someone giving one as a gift and it being covered in tree/fish/coffee bean motifs or something haha.
but alaska should definitely inherit his bad eyesight from Alfred, don't you think? can't unsee Sarah Palin glasses lol >>;
Re: Alfred's House is crowded. Financial Crisis Family Fic, Arthur and his grandkid-states. 3/3
anonymous
April 5 2009, 06:35:39 UTC
Pfff! Rhode Island native!Anon here, and I'd just like to say that THAT WAS THE MOST HILARIOUS THING I'VE EVER READ! So much love goes out to writer!anon...
Oh dear god, a Russian-esque Alaska... my dreams have come true... XD
Re: Alfred's House is crowded. Financial Crisis Family Fic, Arthur and his grandkid-states. 3/3
anonymous
March 20 2009, 02:03:46 UTC
OP-Anon here. I love you with the burning of over 9000 suns right now. *0*
That was PERFECT, more than I was hoping for, really. I almost suggested Massachusetts for the one that looks like Arthur, but didn't want to get too specific, so that hivemind (or perhaps that it's an obvious choice) must have been at work. XD I was also hoping that Alaska's OTHER DADDY would be mentioned somehow, so I squealed there. XDD Virginia, Rhode Island, Cassidy/CAPRICORN (AHAHAHAHAHA, Anon's homestate probably can't get out of her bed right now... XoX Al and his boss recently paid her a visit. ), New York... <3 So much YES. And Arthur and his favorite grandson and remembering his first, so much adorable.
And Daddy Alfred and Grandpa Arthur traumatizing the kiddies at the end, ahahahahaha. XDDD LOVE SO MUCH, THANK YOU!!!!
Virginia's clear voice carried above the rest.
"Daddy, Richard really needs-" Alfred through up his hands.
"I talked to my bosses, okay? The OMB says Sanford can't pull this crap, it's up to him to take care of the rest of it."
"Where were you?" demanded perhaps a dozen of the rabble at once.
Alfred sighed and kneaded his temples.
"I was in Wyoming. Morris is cruising along at a pretty 3.7%, so I was trying to figure out if he's doing anything the rest of you could use, or if he just doesn't have enough people to get high unemployment."
"Fucker," Rhode Island muttered, without lifting his face from Alaska's chest.
"Poor baby," Alfred crooned, ruffling Rhode Island's hair.
"M'not a baby. M'one of th'original trideca - triskeda - original thirteen!" Rhode Island protested.
Rhode Island, England remembered, had been the most terrifyingly individualisic, intractable toddler he had ever had the misfortune of attempting to control. Even Alfred thought he was radical - which, Arthur supposed, was what happened when all the other colonies' exiled heretics congregated in the same place. Alfred sighed. He kissed Virginia on the cheek and Massachusetts on the forehead before tugging on Arthur's arm.
"You kids mind if I borrow your granddad for while? Daddy's wiped out, he needs comfort sex."
Arthur allowed his beloved-lover-son to drag him away, both of them stiffling much-needed laughter at the good-hearted protests of permanent trauma and unpayable therapy bills that chased after them.
Notes: South Carolina's governor Mark Sanford wants to spend that state's share of the federal stimulus money on paying the state debt instead of fixing its school system. Obama (and his Office of Management and Budget) is telling him he can't, but the wording of the bill is ambiguous. Vermont is French for "Green Wood", and was captured by Britian in the French and Indian war. Pennsylvania is often described as a miniature version of the US, with liberal population centers to the East and West but conservative rural areas in between (aka Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with Alabama in the middle). To determine their varying degrees of misery, I made plentiful use of current state unemployment rates as provided by this map from th Department of Labor Statistics: http://data.bls.gov/map/servlet/map.servlet.MapToolServlet?datatype=unemployment&year=2009&period=M01&survey=la&map=state&seasonal=s
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Alaska/Rhode Island is my crack within-this-one-fic OTP now
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of course there's a scarf! maybe blue, with little stars? Because everyone knows red, white, blue and stars are best, but America would shit bricks before he gave AK a red one :p
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but alaska should definitely inherit his bad eyesight from Alfred, don't you think? can't unsee Sarah Palin glasses lol >>;
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orz (recaptcha: last blizzard)
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Oh dear god, a Russian-esque Alaska... my dreams have come true... XD
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I'm glad you still liked it.
captcha: 31)Romantic cords wtf
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That was PERFECT, more than I was hoping for, really. I almost suggested Massachusetts for the one that looks like Arthur, but didn't want to get too specific, so that hivemind (or perhaps that it's an obvious choice) must have been at work. XD I was also hoping that Alaska's OTHER DADDY would be mentioned somehow, so I squealed there. XDD Virginia, Rhode Island, Cassidy/CAPRICORN (AHAHAHAHAHA, Anon's homestate probably can't get out of her bed right now... XoX Al and his boss recently paid her a visit. ), New York... <3 So much YES. And Arthur and his favorite grandson and remembering his first, so much adorable.
And Daddy Alfred and Grandpa Arthur traumatizing the kiddies at the end, ahahahahaha. XDDD LOVE SO MUCH, THANK YOU!!!!
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