Pain works [4/?]
anonymous
March 2 2009, 06:52:45 UTC
Al choked out a cry that was almost impossibly high for a man as he suddenly came hard. He went limp afterwards, still conscious but barely so. His breathing was ragged, and his body shook with soft sobs.
Sighing in pleasure Ivan pulled out of Alfred, not cumming yet. "Now Alfred...I'll release your arms but they'll still be tied, I want you to suck me. If you don't or try to hurt me I'll use some of my toys on you and will have you suck me anyways."
"F-fuck you." Al said hoarsely.
"So spirited..." Ivan replied but undid the binds holding Alfred upright anyways, gently lowering him to the ground. "I'll be back." He whispered into the golden blond's ear then nearly skipped to the box he had and pulled out what looked to be a gag, only there was a hole in the middle of it.
Al slid bonelessly into Ivan's arms, and when he was laid on the ground simply lay there taking in great gulps of air. He had his eyes closed and wondered if he would soon pass out, prayed for it even.
Walking back over with damn near the same skip he used the gag on Alfred, sitting on his butt and dragging the American over to him. He kissed Al's teary eyes then plunged the golden blond's mouth forcefully onto his awaiting arousal the hole allowing him to do so.
Trying to struggle, though it was futile, Al made an angry noise as the gag was fastened in place. He glared at Ivan through blazing blue eyes before he was dragged up and his mouth was violated. Choking he tried to thrash as Ivan's cock plunged in and out of his mouth.
Having none of that, Ivan held the other's head as he basically used Alfred's mouth as a sex toy, forcing him to bob up and down.
Tears of pain and humiliation welled up in Al's eyes. He knew he was helpless, and the fact made him angry. When this was over he swore that he would be the one to kill Ivan.
"You feel...so good..." Ivan panted as he thrust into the Americans mouth, curling lightly around his body before his back straightened with a jolt and he came.
Al gagged as the seamen hit the back of his throat. He refused to swallow it though, so it dripped down Ivan's cock and out of Al's mouth when Ivan pulled out.
"That was wonderful." He said and flipped Al so he was on his back and had no choice but to swallow or he'd drown.
Feeling the cum pool in his mouth, Al knew there was nothing he could do but swallow it. Not with the way his mouth was being forced open at least and so, despite how much he just wanted to spit it out, he swallowed and shuddered as he felt it sliding down his throat to settle in his stomach.
Petting Alfred's face Ivan got up, looking down at the other. "I think I'll take picture! You look great!!" Ivan said with glee, hoping over to a desk that had a laptop and other various things on it. He took his camera out of a bag and walked back other. "Smile!" he said in Russian and started snapping away.
Spread out on the ground with his legs still shackled to the floor; dried cum on his stomach, chest heaving in pain, mouth open and face wet with tears, Al looked like a rapists wet dream. The blood pooling beneath him add to the over all affect as well.
Closing his eyes, Al tried to just pass out. Maybe it would have been best to let himself choke; it would save him from this. He could understand now why Matt had been so damaged mentally when they had found him, and why his mind had forced him to go blind from all the trauma he had been through. Choking on another sob, he felt a fresh wave of hot tears slide down his cheeks. Would he ever see his brother again?
Blatant advertising here: So want to know wtf Al and Russia are talking about (and see more p0rnarific r4pe like this?) Then read our fic (soon coming to Hetalia and other sites) called Pain Works. Come and check it out!
Re: Pain works [4/?]
anonymous
March 2 2009, 07:45:08 UTC
Holy crap. I SERIOUSLY cannot wait for the fic~~ This was sadistically wonderful. I'm going to be watching out for it daily.
You might want to beta-read this just because there's some awkward sentences littered throughout this, but otherwise this wonderful~
But the writing is not that bad. I just hope this gets beta-read just so that this could go from awesome to EPIC.
(I...totally would volunteer to beta-read if this weren't an anonymous meme. But if you want me too and the theres some place where I can contact you guys-please say!)
Re: Pain works [4/?]
anonymous
March 2 2009, 08:38:33 UTC
OH so this was a Roleplay? That explains the writing style!
.....Daaamn that must have been a seriously fun roleplay. <3 *Is rather sadistic person and jealous of how much fun that RP must have been. I wish I could have joined somehow*
Re: Pain works [4/?]
anonymous
March 3 2009, 01:55:53 UTC
Canada!Anon here is completely fascinated with how cruel you were to Matthew. No seriously, I'm.....very enthusiastic to see~ Are you posting the completed story all at once, or will it be a chaptered timely process? I want to read it soon!
The writing is awkward at parts, but if you don't want to re-write it, (that's looking like a ridiculous pile of editing) theres only afew parts that I think really require editing.
Basically the parts where it totally repeats a scene in the two different paragraphs, and to a lesser extent, when you use two different tenses close to each other, as well as a few rushed bad-grammar sentences. I think you should be able to pick up the bad required editing parts by yourself.
Re: stalker!anon and cowriter
anonymous
March 3 2009, 06:58:07 UTC
Also, anon_of_cm@hotmail.com is the Canada!Anon here.
I RARELY log onto that email account, so please message me as soon as possible if you want me to beta-read, even if you intend to send the actual "beta-reading needed story" weeks/months down the road.
Otherwise I'll stop checking my email account and never see it.
Sighing in pleasure Ivan pulled out of Alfred, not cumming yet. "Now Alfred...I'll release your arms but they'll still be tied, I want you to suck me. If you don't or try to hurt me I'll use some of my toys on you and will have you suck me anyways."
"F-fuck you." Al said hoarsely.
"So spirited..." Ivan replied but undid the binds holding Alfred upright anyways, gently lowering him to the ground. "I'll be back." He whispered into the golden blond's ear then nearly skipped to the box he had and pulled out what looked to be a gag, only there was a hole in the middle of it.
Al slid bonelessly into Ivan's arms, and when he was laid on the ground simply lay there taking in great gulps of air. He had his eyes closed and wondered if he would soon pass out, prayed for it even.
Walking back over with damn near the same skip he used the gag on Alfred, sitting on his butt and dragging the American over to him. He kissed Al's teary eyes then plunged the golden blond's mouth forcefully onto his awaiting arousal the hole allowing him to do so.
Trying to struggle, though it was futile, Al made an angry noise as the gag was fastened in place. He glared at Ivan through blazing blue eyes before he was dragged up and his mouth was violated. Choking he tried to thrash as Ivan's cock plunged in and out of his mouth.
Having none of that, Ivan held the other's head as he basically used Alfred's mouth as a sex toy, forcing him to bob up and down.
Tears of pain and humiliation welled up in Al's eyes. He knew he was helpless, and the fact made him angry. When this was over he swore that he would be the one to kill Ivan.
"You feel...so good..." Ivan panted as he thrust into the Americans mouth, curling lightly around his body before his back straightened with a jolt and he came.
Al gagged as the seamen hit the back of his throat. He refused to swallow it though, so it dripped down Ivan's cock and out of Al's mouth when Ivan pulled out.
"That was wonderful." He said and flipped Al so he was on his back and had no choice but to swallow or he'd drown.
Feeling the cum pool in his mouth, Al knew there was nothing he could do but swallow it. Not with the way his mouth was being forced open at least and so, despite how much he just wanted to spit it out, he swallowed and shuddered as he felt it sliding down his throat to settle in his stomach.
Petting Alfred's face Ivan got up, looking down at the other. "I think I'll take picture! You look great!!" Ivan said with glee, hoping over to a desk that had a laptop and other various things on it. He took his camera out of a bag and walked back other. "Smile!" he said in Russian and started snapping away.
Spread out on the ground with his legs still shackled to the floor; dried cum on his stomach, chest heaving in pain, mouth open and face wet with tears, Al looked like a rapists wet dream. The blood pooling beneath him add to the over all affect as well.
Closing his eyes, Al tried to just pass out. Maybe it would have been best to let himself choke; it would save him from this. He could understand now why Matt had been so damaged mentally when they had found him, and why his mind had forced him to go blind from all the trauma he had been through. Choking on another sob, he felt a fresh wave of hot tears slide down his cheeks. Would he ever see his brother again?
Blatant advertising here: So want to know wtf Al and Russia are talking about (and see more p0rnarific r4pe like this?) Then read our fic (soon coming to Hetalia and other sites) called Pain Works. Come and check it out!
Reply
You might want to beta-read this just because there's some awkward sentences littered throughout this, but otherwise this wonderful~
But the writing is not that bad. I just hope this gets beta-read just so that this could go from awesome to EPIC.
(I...totally would volunteer to beta-read if this weren't an anonymous meme. But if you want me too and the theres some place where I can contact you guys-please say!)
Reply
Hm, the anonymous part makes it hard to say. author!anon her partner stalker anon decide on that.
author!anon got to RP America <3
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.....Daaamn that must have been a seriously fun roleplay. <3 *Is rather sadistic person and jealous of how much fun that RP must have been. I wish I could have joined somehow*
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If you though this was cruel you should wait to read the fic and what lead up to this.
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The RP style doesn't work very well, in my honest opinion. I think it's abit confusing and takes down the affective-ness of the scenes a lot.
The story itself is good, but the weird RP-writing style just cuts down on how good it could be ALOT.
But maybe it's just me, and some other anons might not be as bothered by it. *Wait to see if there's other commenters?*
....I SERIOUSLY CANNOT WAIT NOW. : D *WILL SERIOUSLY BE WATCHING FOR THIS DAILY.*
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the final product will include this little ficcy so if someone wants to beta I say wahoo!
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can't wait for the other fic....like seriously waiting for it right now lol
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Are you posting the completed story all at once, or will it be a chaptered timely process? I want to read it soon!
The writing is awkward at parts, but if you don't want to re-write it, (that's looking like a ridiculous pile of editing) theres only afew parts that I think really require editing.
Basically the parts where it totally repeats a scene in the two different paragraphs, and to a lesser extent, when you use two different tenses close to each other, as well as a few rushed bad-grammar sentences.
I think you should be able to pick up the bad required editing parts by yourself.
Reply
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If you want me to beta-read your story, message me at anon_of_cm@hotmail.com.
Reply
I RARELY log onto that email account, so please message me as soon as possible if you want me to beta-read, even if you intend to send the actual "beta-reading needed story" weeks/months down the road.
Otherwise I'll stop checking my email account and never see it.
Reply
And there's already a lot of the story done, right now stalker!anon has them and is looking over them. But contacting over email first is priority
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