XXXbox Live [2/2]
anonymous
September 8 2011, 11:36:54 UTC
"'S right," America said, "They like to get together on weekends and talk about tea and how they're old and back in the day when they used to be able to wear dresses." Japan shot him too, since he had revealed himself, "aw fuck. Well, I deserved that, didn't I?"
"It was more because of your location than what you said," Japan replied mostly honestly. Although, he would rather that America did not refer to kimonos as "dresses." He was too polite to say so, though.
"Yes, well," Suddenly. Japan was shot from behind, "Guess that makes that fair, huh?"
"Indeed."
Prussia was unfortunately right next to Japan's spawn point and so killed him again, "I am such a bamf, you guys."
"You're a dirty fucking cheat," America said.
Prussia died suddenly, which meant that America had usurped Japan's sniping spot. That needed to be fixed.
"So, yeah," America said, "You wanted deets, right Prussia?"
"Yeah. If you scored that good, you gotta tell your bros, right?"
"Okay."
Japan sighed. Why was America going along with this idiocy? Oh wait, it was because he was America.
"So I come home yesterday, come into the bedroom, and he's wearing his old pirate stuff." Japan paused. He wasn't sure whether to take note of this or keep playing. He decided to do the best of both, record the conversation and sneak up on America at the same time.
"Like, the big red coat, old hat, sword, everything?"
"And a pistol! Because I walked right in and he had it pointed right in my face. Seriously, I open the door and I hear him cock it. I almost freaked out and pulled out my gun. But then I realized that it was England and it was cool. He kept the gun pointed at my head the entire time, but he'd told me at the beginning that it wasn't loaded. He made me strip and tied me up and, oh God, he fucked me so hard! I swear he was going for like ten minutes. Aw man, if I wasn't a nation I so wouldn't be sitting right now." Oh, dammit, America spotted him. "Take that, fucker. Anyway, once he came I managed to get the ropes off and grab the gun and then I pretended to run away, but I let him catch me so that he could force me down and-"
"Wait a goddamn minute!" Prussia shouted.
"What is it?" America asked with a clear pout in his voice, "I was just getting to the good part."
"So, let me get this straight," Prussia said slowly, "You take it up the ass."
"Yeah."
"From England."
"Duh."
"The guy who talks to fairies and claims that he can see unicorns."
"Well," For the first time America sounded embarrassed. Japan's lips twitched into a small smile, "He doesn't exactly talk about that in bed."
"Holy fuck." America took advantage of Prussia's daze to kill him. For once, the German didn't let out a curse. Instead, he started laughing, "Oh my god, America is a bitch! You're a fairy, a poof, you take it up the ass! Damn, I didn't think in a million years that the United States of fucking America was gonna be the chick!"
He was lost to giggles for a moment, and out of sportsmanship (and the fact that they were doing unfairly better than him as it was) Japan and America didn't move. Then, all of a sudden, there were two bangs. Prussia died again and the game ended.
"Well, ya know what," America said, smile coming through the headset, "This 'chick' just beat your ass. Ya know why? 'Cause I can actually get laid."
Japan covered his microphone to laugh. Yes, there were times when he hated the modern world. This was not one of them.
Oh god, what is this little masterpiece? XDDD I think you picked the best setting ever for this, because these characters were perfect for this conversation. I mean, Prussia's reaction sets America up perfectly for that last line, and Prussia even manages not to be offensive because he's just so damn in-character. (LOL @ Prussia taking a whole paragraph to figure out that America is the one being fucked. I think you broke his worldview a little, A!A.)
And choosing Japan's POV in that setting is really smart, because we get to actually see what he thinks for once. (Switzerland would be so proud he'd forget to be cranky for a day!) I really like how he's not completely comfortable with the modern world and seems like he's going to be a prude, but he's really just uncomfortable with sitting through Prussia calling England a slut. It's nice to see him both a little old-fashioned but actually mature about sex. Okay, so the fact that they couldn't see him helped. Also, being a little bit of a fanboy. LOL
... Yeah, England would surprise America like that, wouldn't he?
Why do you always leave me wanting more UKUS, anon? Your fic is so good, but I'm just greedy, I guess. XD
Re: Not!OP
anonymous
September 8 2011, 11:57:13 UTC
Also, yay for America being more embarrassed about the unicorns and fairies than what they're talking about. Actually, it's probably more about whatever dirty talk was going on, but still!
Aw, thanks <3 Well, considering how many fills I do and how quickly I deanon there are easy ways to check XD There are very few fics I'm too ashamed of to post all over the internet like a missing cat poster
OP: Re: XXXbox Live [2/2]
anonymous
September 8 2011, 15:13:22 UTC
YAY! I loved America's characterization in this. Not nearly as much of a jerk as others write him as. And that Pirate England sex was so hot, even though we didn't actually see it. America's having great sex, what's to be embarassed about? :) Needless to say I am a very happy OP.
Re: XXXbox Live [2/2]
anonymous
September 8 2011, 18:45:07 UTC
Oh god, I don't even know which character to love more. Oh America and Japan, why so amazing? You're amazing, author!anon. I love England and Japan as perverted tea-drinking old men; and I love Prussia, America, and Japan as gamer bros. I have a good/terrible feeling that they all secretly have or had disturbingly over-powered characters in their favorite MMORPG somewhere. <3
Re: XXXbox Live [2/2]
anonymous
September 10 2011, 14:37:41 UTC
This is just pure perfection; I adore the little dynamic. It all seems so real. Thank fuck people still write the Hetalia blokes as actually guy-ish guys, it's hard to find that nowadays. :]
"'S right," America said, "They like to get together on weekends and talk about tea and how they're old and back in the day when they used to be able to wear dresses." Japan shot him too, since he had revealed himself, "aw fuck. Well, I deserved that, didn't I?"
"It was more because of your location than what you said," Japan replied mostly honestly. Although, he would rather that America did not refer to kimonos as "dresses." He was too polite to say so, though.
"Yes, well," Suddenly. Japan was shot from behind, "Guess that makes that fair, huh?"
"Indeed."
Prussia was unfortunately right next to Japan's spawn point and so killed him again, "I am such a bamf, you guys."
"You're a dirty fucking cheat," America said.
Prussia died suddenly, which meant that America had usurped Japan's sniping spot. That needed to be fixed.
"So, yeah," America said, "You wanted deets, right Prussia?"
"Yeah. If you scored that good, you gotta tell your bros, right?"
"Okay."
Japan sighed. Why was America going along with this idiocy? Oh wait, it was because he was America.
"So I come home yesterday, come into the bedroom, and he's wearing his old pirate stuff." Japan paused. He wasn't sure whether to take note of this or keep playing. He decided to do the best of both, record the conversation and sneak up on America at the same time.
"Like, the big red coat, old hat, sword, everything?"
"And a pistol! Because I walked right in and he had it pointed right in my face. Seriously, I open the door and I hear him cock it. I almost freaked out and pulled out my gun. But then I realized that it was England and it was cool. He kept the gun pointed at my head the entire time, but he'd told me at the beginning that it wasn't loaded. He made me strip and tied me up and, oh God, he fucked me so hard! I swear he was going for like ten minutes. Aw man, if I wasn't a nation I so wouldn't be sitting right now." Oh, dammit, America spotted him. "Take that, fucker. Anyway, once he came I managed to get the ropes off and grab the gun and then I pretended to run away, but I let him catch me so that he could force me down and-"
"Wait a goddamn minute!" Prussia shouted.
"What is it?" America asked with a clear pout in his voice, "I was just getting to the good part."
"So, let me get this straight," Prussia said slowly, "You take it up the ass."
"Yeah."
"From England."
"Duh."
"The guy who talks to fairies and claims that he can see unicorns."
"Well," For the first time America sounded embarrassed. Japan's lips twitched into a small smile, "He doesn't exactly talk about that in bed."
"Holy fuck." America took advantage of Prussia's daze to kill him. For once, the German didn't let out a curse. Instead, he started laughing, "Oh my god, America is a bitch! You're a fairy, a poof, you take it up the ass! Damn, I didn't think in a million years that the United States of fucking America was gonna be the chick!"
He was lost to giggles for a moment, and out of sportsmanship (and the fact that they were doing unfairly better than him as it was) Japan and America didn't move. Then, all of a sudden, there were two bangs. Prussia died again and the game ended.
"Well, ya know what," America said, smile coming through the headset, "This 'chick' just beat your ass. Ya know why? 'Cause I can actually get laid."
Japan covered his microphone to laugh. Yes, there were times when he hated the modern world. This was not one of them.
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And choosing Japan's POV in that setting is really smart, because we get to actually see what he thinks for once. (Switzerland would be so proud he'd forget to be cranky for a day!) I really like how he's not completely comfortable with the modern world and seems like he's going to be a prude, but he's really just uncomfortable with sitting through Prussia calling England a slut. It's nice to see him both a little old-fashioned but actually mature about sex. Okay, so the fact that they couldn't see him helped. Also, being a little bit of a fanboy. LOL
... Yeah, England would surprise America like that, wouldn't he?
Why do you always leave me wanting more UKUS, anon? Your fic is so good, but I'm just greedy, I guess. XD
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I mean, thank you very much, citizen.
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<3
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