The Appliance of Charm (UKUS) [4b/21]
anonymous
February 22 2012, 00:03:07 UTC
“I wanted to talk to you about the coffee machine I requested on Tuesday,” Alfred said then, ignoring the implication that his services and opinions were no longer needed. In his personal opinion, they were always needed.
“If I remember correctly, that discussion ended on Tuesday,” Arthur said.
Alfred thought You're getting old, so don't worry about your memory going, might not be the most diplomatic thing to say at the moment, and that Arthur probably wouldn't appreciate Alfred bringing up his age.
(And besides, Arthur wasn't that old, and even if he was, he was still pretty attractive for an old guy and trying to explain his thought process usually made things worse so he should probably just quit while he was ahead.)
So instead, Alfred said, “I was wondering if perhaps you would reconsider,” and mentally patted himself on the back for such a diplomatic and unoffensive use of large words to express his need for a coffee machine.
The amount of effort was apparently lost on Arthur, however.
“Alfred,” his boss said, tone level. “This is actually a halfway decent cup of tea and I am willing to forgive you based on that fact alone, but my generosity ends there.”
“Right,” Alfred said, glancing back at the door to the stairway and wondering what the odds were. If his reflexes were just as good now as they had been in college, he might be able to make it to safety should his boss decide to just vault over the desk and go for his throat. He could probably make it, he thought, and turned back, deciding to go for it. “I'd even be willing to buy it myself, if you'd just-”
Arthur glared at him. “I know you American's have fucked up the English language so much it's an honest miracle that you can communicate with each other at all, but here in England, no actually means no. Sometimes hell no. And in this case, I'd like to add that there's the implication that if you ask me again, I will throw this stapler at your head.”
Alfred eyed the stapler, then turned back to smile blithely at his boss.
“If I remember correctly, that discussion ended on Tuesday,” Arthur said.
Alfred thought You're getting old, so don't worry about your memory going, might not be the most diplomatic thing to say at the moment, and that Arthur probably wouldn't appreciate Alfred bringing up his age.
(And besides, Arthur wasn't that old, and even if he was, he was still pretty attractive for an old guy and trying to explain his thought process usually made things worse so he should probably just quit while he was ahead.)
So instead, Alfred said, “I was wondering if perhaps you would reconsider,” and mentally patted himself on the back for such a diplomatic and unoffensive use of large words to express his need for a coffee machine.
The amount of effort was apparently lost on Arthur, however.
“Alfred,” his boss said, tone level. “This is actually a halfway decent cup of tea and I am willing to forgive you based on that fact alone, but my generosity ends there.”
“Right,” Alfred said, glancing back at the door to the stairway and wondering what the odds were. If his reflexes were just as good now as they had been in college, he might be able to make it to safety should his boss decide to just vault over the desk and go for his throat. He could probably make it, he thought, and turned back, deciding to go for it. “I'd even be willing to buy it myself, if you'd just-”
Arthur glared at him. “I know you American's have fucked up the English language so much it's an honest miracle that you can communicate with each other at all, but here in England, no actually means no. Sometimes hell no. And in this case, I'd like to add that there's the implication that if you ask me again, I will throw this stapler at your head.”
Alfred eyed the stapler, then turned back to smile blithely at his boss.
His angry face was kinda sexy, too.
Arthur: 2, Alfred: 0.
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