Kindly Fuck Off
anonymous
February 11 2012, 01:37:21 UTC
Tony sat down at the kitchen table with an Egg McMuffing that he'd jacked from some poor, unsuspecting soul. America didn't like it when he used the ship in “populated areas” (he didn't want people to freak out), but Tony had had it in stealth mode, and the guy he took it from had been a limey anyway, so Tony figured it all balanced out.
He reached for The Daily News (to stay moderately informed on the state of affairs in his host country), and the McMuffin. What he got instead, however, was not quite as welcoming.
It was a naturalization form.
Tony looked up to see a grinning America in his face.
“Hey, dude! Yanno how I'm trying to crack down on all those illegal aliens in me?” America's face darkened for a moment, but quickly morphed into a frightening grin. “You're one of them! Don't worry, though, we can fix you up real quick. I've got connections.”
Tony glared at America. And glared. He let himself look dumbfounded for a quick second, and then glared some more.
“But I'm an alien.”
“I know! But once you fill this out, you won't be anymore! You could...drive! Or get health care! Or vote! Or--” …...............................................
Tony walked out of the kitchen, chewing on his breakfast, newspaper tucked under his arm, feeling quite accomplished. He hoped America enjoyed that stupid paper's new home. Perhaps he should have stabbed in some eye-holes.
After all, it was pretty hard to see when your vision was blocked by naturalization papers.
He reached for The Daily News (to stay moderately informed on the state of affairs in his host country), and the McMuffin. What he got instead, however, was not quite as welcoming.
It was a naturalization form.
Tony looked up to see a grinning America in his face.
“Hey, dude! Yanno how I'm trying to crack down on all those illegal aliens in me?” America's face darkened for a moment, but quickly morphed into a frightening grin. “You're one of them! Don't worry, though, we can fix you up real quick. I've got connections.”
Tony glared at America. And glared. He let himself look dumbfounded for a quick second, and then glared some more.
“But I'm an alien.”
“I know! But once you fill this out, you won't be anymore! You could...drive! Or get health care! Or vote! Or--”
…...............................................
Tony walked out of the kitchen, chewing on his breakfast, newspaper tucked under his arm, feeling quite accomplished. He hoped America enjoyed that stupid paper's new home. Perhaps he should have stabbed in some eye-holes.
After all, it was pretty hard to see when your vision was blocked by naturalization papers.
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