But baby, I love you! [2d/2]
anonymous
July 27 2011, 22:01:26 UTC
Arthur put his hands to his mouth, trying to stifle the gasp that tried to escape him. His lungs were burning for air, and he couldn’t breathe to alleviate the pain because he was so shocked. His heart was beating fast against his ribcage, and he dully wondered if the occupants of the room could hear it.
It might not have been his exact idea of romantic, but it was heart wrenchingly sweet of Alfred. And honestly, he loved everything Alfred did, even if he didn’t always show it.
In the following moments, his mask crumbled to pieces, and tears started dripping down his cheeks. When he removed his hands, a bright smile was waiting underneath.
“Y-Yes, yes, I will, oh my god, yes, I will marry you, Alfred.” He chuckled, body trembling with happy tears as Alfred took his hand and slipped the ring on.
“Cool.” Was the smartest thing Alfred could utter with the ecstatic joy rippling over him like tsunami waves. He slowly got up from his knees just in time to catch Arthur as he flung himself into his arms.
The room burst into cheers and applause as they lip-locked hungrily, not caring what anyone thought. Arthur didn’t give a fuck if France would later tease him about crying and blushing because right now, Alfred was all that mattered. Their lips moulded together, unwilling to part even as their breaths ran short.
“I love you.” Alfred whispered, twin tears escaping the sanctuary of his glossy eyes.
“I know.” Arthur smiled gently, staring lovingly at him before kissing the tears away. “I love you, too.” He whispered back, throwing his arms around his lover’s neck and burying his face in it. “Not my idea of romantic, but congratulations on succeeding at a proposal in a meeting room.”
Alfred chuckled and slid his arms around Arthur’s waist, holding him lovingly.
“If you want, we can go to an expensive restaurant tonight and I can propose to you for the 3rd time there.”
“I already said yes, didn’t I? Besides, I’d much rather repeat what we started yesterday night but never got to finish.” Alfred could feel Arthur’s smirk pressing into his neck, following by a chaste, but demanding kiss. His dick twitched at the thought and he reciprocated the smirk, biting Arthur’s ear.
“You took the words right out of my mouth.”
“Oh my, we’ll have to fill it with something else now, then.”
Alfred had never realized how perfect his life was up until then.
The end~ Sorry if it's bad, I just thought I'd give a shot at it. I can't write lemons, either, so sorry about the lack of sexy tiemz OTL
Re: But baby, I love you! [2d/2]
anonymous
July 28 2011, 00:12:23 UTC
Aaaawwww. So cute. It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!
However, there are two things that bothered me a little bit about this fill. First of all is Arthur's characterization. I love the idea that he's a secret romantic, but he was a bit too blatantly emotional in this fic, especially at the end. Also about the end, some of the reactions of the other nations threw me off. The gasping and cheering? I can't help but think most of them would either be like "yeah, whatevs" or think it was funny.
Over all, I think my main issue is that the characters acted a little too stereotypically. This was a really great fic, you just need to work on keeping the actual characters in mind while you write. I liked it, there's just some room for improvement.
Re: But baby, I love you! [2d/2]
anonymous
July 28 2011, 19:37:14 UTC
IKR? Like I said, IC writing isn't natural for me (I'm secretly a sap *coughcough*), so "WTF IS THIS SHIT?" is a very normal response to have (: Thanks for reading, though, and I'll keep your suggestions in mind for the next time I write >3
Re: But baby, I love you! [2d/2]
anonymous
July 29 2011, 00:50:04 UTC
FWIW, I enjoyed the fill :)
I especially loved all the angst right after the first proposal. I have my own secret dream of someone proposing to me romantically someday so Arthur's unhappiness made me cry too, especially this line:
“IT DOES! OH MY GOD, YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD, I SHOULD’VE BEEN HOLDING A BOUQUET, NOT MY BLOODY ANKLES !”
And don't worry author!anon you wrote the sex scene very well!
It might not have been his exact idea of romantic, but it was heart wrenchingly sweet of Alfred. And honestly, he loved everything Alfred did, even if he didn’t always show it.
In the following moments, his mask crumbled to pieces, and tears started dripping down his cheeks. When he removed his hands, a bright smile was waiting underneath.
“Y-Yes, yes, I will, oh my god, yes, I will marry you, Alfred.” He chuckled, body trembling with happy tears as Alfred took his hand and slipped the ring on.
“Cool.” Was the smartest thing Alfred could utter with the ecstatic joy rippling over him like tsunami waves. He slowly got up from his knees just in time to catch Arthur as he flung himself into his arms.
The room burst into cheers and applause as they lip-locked hungrily, not caring what anyone thought. Arthur didn’t give a fuck if France would later tease him about crying and blushing because right now, Alfred was all that mattered. Their lips moulded together, unwilling to part even as their breaths ran short.
“I love you.” Alfred whispered, twin tears escaping the sanctuary of his glossy eyes.
“I know.” Arthur smiled gently, staring lovingly at him before kissing the tears away. “I love you, too.” He whispered back, throwing his arms around his lover’s neck and burying his face in it. “Not my idea of romantic, but congratulations on succeeding at a proposal in a meeting room.”
Alfred chuckled and slid his arms around Arthur’s waist, holding him lovingly.
“If you want, we can go to an expensive restaurant tonight and I can propose to you for the 3rd time there.”
“I already said yes, didn’t I? Besides, I’d much rather repeat what we started yesterday night but never got to finish.” Alfred could feel Arthur’s smirk pressing into his neck, following by a chaste, but demanding kiss. His dick twitched at the thought and he reciprocated the smirk, biting Arthur’s ear.
“You took the words right out of my mouth.”
“Oh my, we’ll have to fill it with something else now, then.”
Alfred had never realized how perfect his life was up until then.
The end~ Sorry if it's bad, I just thought I'd give a shot at it. I can't write lemons, either, so sorry about the lack of sexy tiemz OTL
Reply
However, there are two things that bothered me a little bit about this fill.
First of all is Arthur's characterization. I love the idea that he's a secret romantic, but he was a bit too blatantly emotional in this fic, especially at the end.
Also about the end, some of the reactions of the other nations threw me off. The gasping and cheering? I can't help but think most of them would either be like "yeah, whatevs" or think it was funny.
Over all, I think my main issue is that the characters acted a little too stereotypically. This was a really great fic, you just need to work on keeping the actual characters in mind while you write. I liked it, there's just some room for improvement.
Reply
Reply
I especially loved all the angst right after the first proposal. I have my own secret dream of someone proposing to me romantically someday so Arthur's unhappiness made me cry too, especially this line:
“IT DOES! OH MY GOD, YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD, I SHOULD’VE BEEN HOLDING A BOUQUET, NOT MY BLOODY ANKLES !”
And don't worry author!anon you wrote the sex scene very well!
Reply
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