Re: [Part 15] Shakespeare Was Gender Confused (2b/3)
anonymous
July 11 2011, 02:52:59 UTC
______________________________________
The next morning Toris was running significantly less late than he had been the morning before - he even had time for breakfast - when he bustled out of his dorm room -
- and then let out a shriek as something large and metal and shiny fell in through the door. For a moment, he had a nightmare vision of some kind of mafia movie, a dead horse in the hallway, falling through his door onto him but of course horses weren't made of metal…
When Toris was finally able to breathe normally and his heart was not threatening to choke him, he took a closer look and realized the mysterious object was a silver bicycle.
There was a piece of paper taped to it. Two very distinct handwritings were looped across the paper. The first was large and slightly feminine.
I hope you like it~! Love, Veniziano
The other was slanted and scratchy, only two words.
Fuck you
That one was Lovino's. The Italian brothers had gotten him a bike. Already.
It was stolen. Toris was positive that it was stolen. He rode it to Russian Lit anyway because it beat the hell out of walking.
The morning felt long to him, and not only because his professor was had adopted his I'm gonna speak so slowly that you'll hate Tolstoy forever lecture voice. He watched the clock anxiously, waiting for 3:30 to roll around so he could be back in the theatre, doing his job and watching practice and, most of all, seeing Felicia.
Class let out at 12:35 and when Toris walked out into the sunlight, he was greeted by the sight of his shiny new bike and a bright pink beach cruiser beside it. Beside that was a blonde girl with a box in one hand a shy smile across her face.
Heart in throat, Toris jogged down the steps of the lecture hall and stood across from her. "Felicia?" he asked in disbelief. "What're you doing here?"
Felicia went an interesting shade of pink and stared down at her platform sandals. She held out the box towards him. It said something in Polish he didn't actually understand and was covered in pictures of things that looked vaguely like Pocky.
"Just take the paluski, damn it," she muttered. For the first time since Toris had met her, she looked shy. Toris really wanted to… well, actually, hug her and never let her go. Protect her from whatever she was self-conscious about.
Toris was kind of at a point where he really had no idea what to do. He had dated exactly one girl, Samantha Green, for a month in seventh grade. He just… hadn't ever gotten a girlfriend. Didn't want one. Was kind of indifferent.
But this girl… just shoved cookies into his hand and looked like she was going to explode from embarrassment and gave him a ride for two miles on her handlebars the day before and so Toris stepped in and kissed her in front of all the kids on the lecture steps.
She tasted like cookies.
And then he was pushed away so hard he tripped over the bike rack.
"Well, that was gonna be my way to ask you to, like, go out with me, but if you're gonna do shit like that in public - !" she whined. She was trying to suppress a smile and failing. She was still adorably pink.
"Isn't it supposed to be me asking you out?" Toris asked, a goofy grin on his face, sprawled across his toppled bike.
Felicia smiled wickedly. "That's just not my style, Lietuva."
It was the beginning of something wonderful, Toris thought, as he stood up and felt the bruises on his back from the metal of the racks. He hopped on his new bicycle and raced Felicia all the way to the Dining Hall. He lost pitifully.
Re: [Part 15] Shakespeare Was Gender Confused (2c/3)
anonymous
July 11 2011, 02:57:19 UTC
__________________________________ The next week and a half had Toris in an absolute daze. He met Felicia whenever he could, and they would just… be together. They ate in the Dining Hall, went to practice together, and made out in the green room after everyone had left.
(Actually, they found Elizaveta "sleeping" in the costume closet the second time they did that, and resolved to check the room thoroughly the next time)
Toris did notice that Felicia would always draw away if he put his hands on her too much. Not that he put his hands on her a lot. He wasn't sure what to do with his hands - he was kind of a beginner at this, all told.
Felicia wasn't a beginner, though. She had her fingers stroking down his sides, playing in his hair, on warm palm pressed against his thigh when they kissed. But whenever Toris tried to reciprocate - sliding his hands down just to her hips so he could hold her to him - she flinched a little and gave him a soft, apologetic smile and a not yet or simply I have to go.
It wasn't as if Toris minded, he guessed. It wasn't as if he were a pervert. Most guys would probably want to touch her boobs, he thought sometimes. He was content just to be with Felicia, if that were what she wanted. He'd go slow. That would be okay.
One day, they biked to the city park with the duck pond and lay in the half-dead autumn-grass and smelled the late summer flowers and held hands while they watched the clouds. Toris never thought that watching clouds would be something that he might enjoy, but… well, it was Felicia, and it was autumn, and he felt on fire.
The next day was Saturday. Toris fully intended to sleep until he was dead - or at least until the five pm rehearsal that Elizaveta had forced on everyone. Hell week would start… next week, actually …. And Toris had hoped to get some sleep before the round of tech rehearsals, dress rehearsals, and then late show nights kept him up and away from homework.
He didn't get to sleep past 8:30 in the morning.
Eduard was up, but he had an incomprehensible sleep cycle and was always careful to be very quiet on the mornings that he was up before Toris. So, it wasn't Eduard who woke him up, or rather, it was not his fault.
The smirk he had on his face was his fault though. Definitely.
Toris was sprawled on top of his blankets in nothing but a pair of underwear. A cold snap in October had been followed with an eerily warm patch now, in November, and the entire building had already switched the air system over to heating in preparation for winter, so Toris had been absolutely burning up the night before.
It was only a matter of Eduard pulling out a water bottle from their mini-fridge and placing it against Toris' stomach to wake him.
" Kales vaikas - Ciupe bybi -!" Toris swore, coming out of a pleasant dream of eagles and flying high above rye fields in a place he didn't know.
Eduard didn't look even remotely chastised. He just smiled knowingly. "I'd keep the swearing down to a minimum if I were you," he told Toris. "Someone impressionable and ladylike might hear them and be scarred. You know, if she wasn't already scarred by the fact you're almost totally naked."
And then, Toris became aware of Felicia standing in the door to dorm room. She was grinning like she owned the world and was gonna make sure everyone knew it, too.
"Nice briefs, big boy," she whistled, examining her nails and leaning against the door-jamb.
"Eep!" Toris squeaked in a very manly way. He dove under his covers, keeping up a litany of curses towards Eduard and doors and unfortunate days to wear Spiderman briefs to bed.
Felicia started laughing, so hard she had to hold onto the wall for support. Eduard had some shit-eating grin plastered all over his face. Toris hated his life.
"Get out…" he moaned. "Let me get dressed and collect what is left of my dignity. Why are you here, anyway?"
"Hmph," hummed Felicia, inspecting a nail and trying to calm her giggles. "What a way to talk to the girlfriend who wanted to take you out to breakfast. You know, we haven't been on a real date yet. Sad, isn't it?"
Re: [Part 15] Shakespeare Was Gender Confused (2d/3)
anonymous
July 11 2011, 03:00:11 UTC
"Mnghph…" Toris groaned from beneath the covers.
"Alright, alright, I’m leaving. But don’t bitch at me - bitch at your roommate for opening the door with you all on display like that," she said cheekily. "Not that I mind much." There was the sound of the door closing. Still, Toris waited a long minute before peeking out from beneath his covers, fully intending on tackling Eduard for his indiscretion.
Sneaky bastard, he'd slipped out with Felicia.
Groaning piteously, Toris dragged himself out of bed, and dressed hastily, wondering if he could still manage a bit of damage control. He definitely changed his underwear. Grey boxers, now that was manly. He tripped out the door some minutes later, to find Felicia in the hallway, rocking back and forth on her heels - heeled boots, a patterned miniskirt, long jacket, not that Toris was ogling her or anything - and staring at the floor. Eduard was next to her, trying to make conversation with his oblivious sense of efficiency.
"… and I definitely think Toris is happier," he was saying.
"Mmm hmm…" Felicia might have mumbled something that translated to actual words, but it was so low and truncated Toris couldn't make it out.
It was kind of adorable, how shy she was when she didn't know people. For all her bluster and show in front of the other actors or her tight group of friends, when she was with someone she was not well acquainted with, she was faintly ridiculous - all averted eyes and one-word answers and a rather endearing pink flush.
He stood in the doorway and watched for a moment, feeling a little vindictive, but he quickly put Felicia out of her misery, striding up and putting an arm around her shoulders.
"I think I've earned my breakfast," he said with a rueful little smile. Eduard couldn’t even be bothered to hold back a snicker.
"I think I'll leave you to it," he smiled, disappearing down the hallway with a practiced easiness.
Toris closed his eyes and leaned his head on the hallway wall. "Can we pretend this never happened?"
"Not a chance, superman," Felicia told him. "Now come on, we're going to Gdansk."
Toris was very, very confused by that statement.
"Gdansk" turned out to be the name of a little hole-in-the-wall café a few blocks away from the Moonshine Theatre, serving heavy breads and strong tea and cold meats. Toris spent the meal listening to Felicia tell him he'd better not have any plans for today and then laying out her own agenda for exactly what they were going to do. He didn’t mind, not really, although he wasn't pleased when Felicia refused to let him pay the bill, telling him on no uncertain terms that she said she was gonna "take him out", which meant it was her responsibility.
"I'm going to get you back for his," he promised huffily when she dragged him out of the café by the wrist.
"I look forward to it," she assured him. "So. My agenda. We're getting on a bus, capisce? Gotta get out of the city sometimes. Seriously. I feel like I'm gonna suffocate."
The caught the next bus out of town, loading their bikes on the rack in back. Felicia spent the whole ride glued to the window as they took the bridge out of town, watching as the highway turned into just a two-lane thoroughfare that wound between green, forested hills. Felicia pulled the cord and disembarked in front of a tiny little strawberry stand, which she ransacked for bags of berries. Then, she got on her bike and took a trail through the trees behind the stand that was barely visible at all. Toris was fairly certain that a beach cruiser should not logically be able to rough it over what was quickly becoming a bumpy ride - even his new mountain bike wasn't faring too well - but she took the trail with the poise that accompanied everything she did, even balancing a grocery bag of strawberries over the handles as she went.
"Umm… Felicia…?" Toris mumbled as they began to bike through the woods. "Are you going to tell me where we are going?"
"Nope."
"Did you mean to drag me all the way out here so I can't find my way back on my own?"
"Yep. Don't want you running away, you know."
She giggled at him and pedaled harder, and Toris was hard-pressed to keep up.
Re: [Part 15] Shakespeare Was Gender Confused (2e/3)
anonymous
July 11 2011, 03:03:10 UTC
Eventually, though, she did begin to slow. Toris wondered if she was getting tired, but soon it was apparent that she'd only slowed because they had finally arrived.
"Tadaaa," she said quietly, slipping off the bike.
It was a field, a vast, golden, empty field of weeds and grass and thick vegetation that looked soft and shone in the midday sun. It was oddly beautiful, and oddly comforting, huge and surrounded completely by trees. Over on the far edge was a dilapidated old barn, grey with age and skeletal with missing planks.
They weren't that far outside the city, Toris thought, and wondered how on earth he had encountered another world. He seemed to be doing that a lot, with Felicia. She calmly lead him places he'd never gone before, and he certainly could not have done that without her help. And her persistence. Her manic, manic persistence.
Without much preamble, Felicia plopped down on the golden vegetation, setting the berries next to her and immediately digging in. She gestured to Toris to sit down beside her. "Come on, eat. These things, are like, totally organic. Plus they're fruit, so they're actually good for you."
So he did as he was told, sat, and they ate strawberries until the juice ran down both of their arms and they were left full and happy and just staring at the clouds again, sticky fingers all tangled up and heads close together.
"How'd you know this was out here?" Toris asked.
He felt Felicia shrug next to him. "I didn't. I knew there was a trail behind the berry stand and I figured we'd follow it until we found something cool. And I guess we did."
Toris couldn't help but agree.
He smiled, almost nervously, then turned over and placed a small, gentle kiss to the side of Felicia's neck; just a touch, and he felt her smile press against his hair.
"I love you," he told her. It was the first time either of them had spoken those words, but Toris knew, easily, that it was true and perfect and he loved Felicia, loved her more than anything. Maybe it had only been two weeks, but… well, they'd held out longer than Romeo and Juliet, hadn't they?
Toris felt her gasp against his scalp, and he couldn't help but tilt his head up to smile at her - she smiled back, full and happy and a little watery. He watched her pretty green eyes for some sign that he'd done the right thing. He wanted reassurance from her.
She laughed and looked straight back at him with the happiest expression in the world, and that was when he rolled over on top of her and kissed the breath out of her.
It started out easy and slow, and they both just tasted the rightness of being with each other, but soon Toris couldn't help but push a little harder, a little deeper. He felt Felicia's fingers tangle in his long hair and heard her breath get sharper as she pressed back and -
"Oh shit, stop!" she begged, and suddenly her voice was high-pitched with a genuine fear as she pushed against his chest, panicking, squirming, her eyes blown wide.
Toris immediately backed off, rearing up onto his knees and scooting away quickly, terrified he'd done something horrible and irrevocable. As soon as she could, Felicia flinched away and curled up into herself, bringing her knees to her chest as well as she could in a skirt.
"F-Felicia?" Toris murmured softly, as if she were some animal he was scared of spooking. He reached out for a moment, as if to sooth her, but she shrank even further into herself. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, what did I do -?"
Felicia looked at him with wide eyes, then buried her face in her knees, her muffled voice spitting out curses into the cloth of her skirt. "Shit, shit, not like this, kurwa, oh god - Liet!" She lifted her head. "Liet… I’m sorry. I didn't… I didn't mean to freak out on you."
Toris blinked at her, trying to understand. "Felicia, what's going on?" Something was wrong - obviously something was wrong - and a million horrible scenarios rocketed through his head. Had she been hurt in the past; abused? Why was she pushing him away?
Felicia shook her head. Her eyes were clear and dark and shiny and the skin around them was pink and puffy. "I… I don't think I can tell you. Not like this - not now."
Re: [Part 15] Shakespeare Was Gender Confused (2f/3)
anonymous
July 11 2011, 03:05:43 UTC
Toris knew he shouldn't pry. That was the last thing that Felicia needed, not with the way her arms were shaking and her fingers twitching against her knees. But he had to know.
"Felicia, you have to tell me." He crawled closer to her, trying just to hold her hand, reassure her. She didn't understand, though, was startled, trying to scramble further backwards, but she was off-balance and ended up sprawling on her back in the field and then Toris saw it and his brain shut down.
Felicia was staring at him, obviously wondering at the look of horror on his face; then she looked down at her lap, and her mouth opened in a wide, frightened "o".
"Liet, I'm sorry…" she whispered, trying to hide the obvious, obscene bulge that a girl's skirt should definitely not have.
It made sense, now; why she had pushed Toris off her lap when they'd fallen together in Veneziano's truck, why she was scared of letting him touch her, the way she was always so strong and her hands were so broad and she could pedal a bike with him on her handlebars.
She was not a she at all. She was a "he".
Toris did nothing but stare.
"Liet," he said, scrambling to his knees, reaching out to touch him and then stopping and drawing back. "Say something."
"Who are you - tell me who you are," Toris said in a daze, sure he wasn't hearing right. He was sure he had just been tricked, by the light and the magic of the afternoon. This wasn't…
Felicia reached out and grabbed Toris' hand. Toris didn't pull away, but he didn't squeeze back.
"My name is Feliks Łukasiewicz, and I never meant for this to happen."
His voice was not different. His hands did not feel different. He looked no different. This was the girl that Toris had fallen - the boy that Toris had - this was -
"Why?"
"Toris, maybe we should go somewhere else, talk about this later. I know this is too much for you right now, I can see it in your face -"
"Tell me now." Toris' voice did not grow any more demanding, flat and tired. "Just let me know, why?"
Feliks hung his head. "I don't know, Liet, really, I don't. I just… I've always liked skirts. I just… I like them. I do it. It's fun."
"So are you a girl? Are you… a transsexual? I can't … I don't understand."
Feliks shook his head violently. "No! No, Toris, I am a guy. I'm a male and everything I did to make you think I was a girl, was…" he trailed off, biting his lip, his voice strangling off into quiet. "It was a lie. I lied."
Obviously. Toris stayed quiet.
"It's just - it's easier if they think I'm a girl. A gay boy in skirts, that's an invitation to be killed, in some places. But if I'm just a girl, just another pretty thing in heels, it's alright. I can wear what I want and I can flirt with who I want -"
" - You flirt with straight men, Feliks. Feliks, you flirted with me."
Toris couldn't even bring himself to be angry. He didn't think it was happening. It was all a dream, and elaborate dream that he could talk himself out of.
"I love you…" Feliks told him in a small voice. "All I wanted was to be able to walk around and love you."
That made Toris' chest hurt a lot.
"We are going to be late for practice," Toris said dully. He stood and grabbed the plastic bag and the remains of their strawberries.
Feliks moved cautiously to his feet, smoothing his skirt and checking his hair. "Yeah."
Toris didn't even bother to wonder about the sudden hopelessness in his voice.
Re: [Part 15] Shakespeare Was Gender Confused (2f/3)
anonymous
July 11 2011, 03:36:42 UTC
I'm with Toris, my chest hurts. They were so obviously happy together and the field sounded magical and it sucks that he had to find out like that. I hope they can make up because you made them so great together. Love your writing style and I will definetly be awaiting your update.
Re: [Part 15] Shakespeare Was Gender Confused (2f/3)
anonymous
July 11 2011, 15:59:37 UTC
Awww, poor Liet, so confused... but he's a good guy, I know it! Even if they have to break up, I'm sure they'd still be friends. But Feliks really should have told him before letting poor Liet believe he's dating a girl.
On another note, I thought it was really funny that Liet is positive that his new bike had been stolen XD
The next morning Toris was running significantly less late than he had been the morning before - he even had time for breakfast - when he bustled out of his dorm room -
- and then let out a shriek as something large and metal and shiny fell in through the door. For a moment, he had a nightmare vision of some kind of mafia movie, a dead horse in the hallway, falling through his door onto him but of course horses weren't made of metal…
When Toris was finally able to breathe normally and his heart was not threatening to choke him, he took a closer look and realized the mysterious object was a silver bicycle.
There was a piece of paper taped to it. Two very distinct handwritings were looped across the paper. The first was large and slightly feminine.
I hope you like it~! Love, Veniziano
The other was slanted and scratchy, only two words.
Fuck you
That one was Lovino's. The Italian brothers had gotten him a bike. Already.
It was stolen. Toris was positive that it was stolen. He rode it to Russian Lit anyway because it beat the hell out of walking.
The morning felt long to him, and not only because his professor was had adopted his I'm gonna speak so slowly that you'll hate Tolstoy forever lecture voice. He watched the clock anxiously, waiting for 3:30 to roll around so he could be back in the theatre, doing his job and watching practice and, most of all, seeing Felicia.
Class let out at 12:35 and when Toris walked out into the sunlight, he was greeted by the sight of his shiny new bike and a bright pink beach cruiser beside it. Beside that was a blonde girl with a box in one hand a shy smile across her face.
Heart in throat, Toris jogged down the steps of the lecture hall and stood across from her. "Felicia?" he asked in disbelief. "What're you doing here?"
Felicia went an interesting shade of pink and stared down at her platform sandals. She held out the box towards him. It said something in Polish he didn't actually understand and was covered in pictures of things that looked vaguely like Pocky.
"Just take the paluski, damn it," she muttered. For the first time since Toris had met her, she looked shy. Toris really wanted to… well, actually, hug her and never let her go. Protect her from whatever she was self-conscious about.
Toris was kind of at a point where he really had no idea what to do. He had dated exactly one girl, Samantha Green, for a month in seventh grade. He just… hadn't ever gotten a girlfriend. Didn't want one. Was kind of indifferent.
But this girl… just shoved cookies into his hand and looked like she was going to explode from embarrassment and gave him a ride for two miles on her handlebars the day before and so Toris stepped in and kissed her in front of all the kids on the lecture steps.
She tasted like cookies.
And then he was pushed away so hard he tripped over the bike rack.
"Well, that was gonna be my way to ask you to, like, go out with me, but if you're gonna do shit like that in public - !" she whined. She was trying to suppress a smile and failing. She was still adorably pink.
"Isn't it supposed to be me asking you out?" Toris asked, a goofy grin on his face, sprawled across his toppled bike.
Felicia smiled wickedly. "That's just not my style, Lietuva."
It was the beginning of something wonderful, Toris thought, as he stood up and felt the bruises on his back from the metal of the racks. He hopped on his new bicycle and raced Felicia all the way to the Dining Hall. He lost pitifully.
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The next week and a half had Toris in an absolute daze. He met Felicia whenever he could, and they would just… be together. They ate in the Dining Hall, went to practice together, and made out in the green room after everyone had left.
(Actually, they found Elizaveta "sleeping" in the costume closet the second time they did that, and resolved to check the room thoroughly the next time)
Toris did notice that Felicia would always draw away if he put his hands on her too much. Not that he put his hands on her a lot. He wasn't sure what to do with his hands - he was kind of a beginner at this, all told.
Felicia wasn't a beginner, though. She had her fingers stroking down his sides, playing in his hair, on warm palm pressed against his thigh when they kissed. But whenever Toris tried to reciprocate - sliding his hands down just to her hips so he could hold her to him - she flinched a little and gave him a soft, apologetic smile and a not yet or simply I have to go.
It wasn't as if Toris minded, he guessed. It wasn't as if he were a pervert. Most guys would probably want to touch her boobs, he thought sometimes. He was content just to be with Felicia, if that were what she wanted. He'd go slow. That would be okay.
One day, they biked to the city park with the duck pond and lay in the half-dead autumn-grass and smelled the late summer flowers and held hands while they watched the clouds. Toris never thought that watching clouds would be something that he might enjoy, but… well, it was Felicia, and it was autumn, and he felt on fire.
The next day was Saturday. Toris fully intended to sleep until he was dead - or at least until the five pm rehearsal that Elizaveta had forced on everyone. Hell week would start… next week, actually …. And Toris had hoped to get some sleep before the round of tech rehearsals, dress rehearsals, and then late show nights kept him up and away from homework.
He didn't get to sleep past 8:30 in the morning.
Eduard was up, but he had an incomprehensible sleep cycle and was always careful to be very quiet on the mornings that he was up before Toris. So, it wasn't Eduard who woke him up, or rather, it was not his fault.
The smirk he had on his face was his fault though. Definitely.
Toris was sprawled on top of his blankets in nothing but a pair of underwear. A cold snap in October had been followed with an eerily warm patch now, in November, and the entire building had already switched the air system over to heating in preparation for winter, so Toris had been absolutely burning up the night before.
It was only a matter of Eduard pulling out a water bottle from their mini-fridge and placing it against Toris' stomach to wake him.
" Kales vaikas - Ciupe bybi -!" Toris swore, coming out of a pleasant dream of eagles and flying high above rye fields in a place he didn't know.
Eduard didn't look even remotely chastised. He just smiled knowingly. "I'd keep the swearing down to a minimum if I were you," he told Toris. "Someone impressionable and ladylike might hear them and be scarred. You know, if she wasn't already scarred by the fact you're almost totally naked."
And then, Toris became aware of Felicia standing in the door to dorm room. She was grinning like she owned the world and was gonna make sure everyone knew it, too.
"Nice briefs, big boy," she whistled, examining her nails and leaning against the door-jamb.
"Eep!" Toris squeaked in a very manly way. He dove under his covers, keeping up a litany of curses towards Eduard and doors and unfortunate days to wear Spiderman briefs to bed.
Felicia started laughing, so hard she had to hold onto the wall for support. Eduard had some shit-eating grin plastered all over his face. Toris hated his life.
"Get out…" he moaned. "Let me get dressed and collect what is left of my dignity. Why are you here, anyway?"
"Hmph," hummed Felicia, inspecting a nail and trying to calm her giggles. "What a way to talk to the girlfriend who wanted to take you out to breakfast. You know, we haven't been on a real date yet. Sad, isn't it?"
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"Alright, alright, I’m leaving. But don’t bitch at me - bitch at your roommate for opening the door with you all on display like that," she said cheekily. "Not that I mind much." There was the sound of the door closing. Still, Toris waited a long minute before peeking out from beneath his covers, fully intending on tackling Eduard for his indiscretion.
Sneaky bastard, he'd slipped out with Felicia.
Groaning piteously, Toris dragged himself out of bed, and dressed hastily, wondering if he could still manage a bit of damage control. He definitely changed his underwear. Grey boxers, now that was manly. He tripped out the door some minutes later, to find Felicia in the hallway, rocking back and forth on her heels - heeled boots, a patterned miniskirt, long jacket, not that Toris was ogling her or anything - and staring at the floor. Eduard was next to her, trying to make conversation with his oblivious sense of efficiency.
"… and I definitely think Toris is happier," he was saying.
"Mmm hmm…" Felicia might have mumbled something that translated to actual words, but it was so low and truncated Toris couldn't make it out.
It was kind of adorable, how shy she was when she didn't know people. For all her bluster and show in front of the other actors or her tight group of friends, when she was with someone she was not well acquainted with, she was faintly ridiculous - all averted eyes and one-word answers and a rather endearing pink flush.
He stood in the doorway and watched for a moment, feeling a little vindictive, but he quickly put Felicia out of her misery, striding up and putting an arm around her shoulders.
"I think I've earned my breakfast," he said with a rueful little smile. Eduard couldn’t even be bothered to hold back a snicker.
"I think I'll leave you to it," he smiled, disappearing down the hallway with a practiced easiness.
Toris closed his eyes and leaned his head on the hallway wall. "Can we pretend this never happened?"
"Not a chance, superman," Felicia told him. "Now come on, we're going to Gdansk."
Toris was very, very confused by that statement.
"Gdansk" turned out to be the name of a little hole-in-the-wall café a few blocks away from the Moonshine Theatre, serving heavy breads and strong tea and cold meats. Toris spent the meal listening to Felicia tell him he'd better not have any plans for today and then laying out her own agenda for exactly what they were going to do. He didn’t mind, not really, although he wasn't pleased when Felicia refused to let him pay the bill, telling him on no uncertain terms that she said she was gonna "take him out", which meant it was her responsibility.
"I'm going to get you back for his," he promised huffily when she dragged him out of the café by the wrist.
"I look forward to it," she assured him. "So. My agenda. We're getting on a bus, capisce? Gotta get out of the city sometimes. Seriously. I feel like I'm gonna suffocate."
The caught the next bus out of town, loading their bikes on the rack in back. Felicia spent the whole ride glued to the window as they took the bridge out of town, watching as the highway turned into just a two-lane thoroughfare that wound between green, forested hills. Felicia pulled the cord and disembarked in front of a tiny little strawberry stand, which she ransacked for bags of berries. Then, she got on her bike and took a trail through the trees behind the stand that was barely visible at all. Toris was fairly certain that a beach cruiser should not logically be able to rough it over what was quickly becoming a bumpy ride - even his new mountain bike wasn't faring too well - but she took the trail with the poise that accompanied everything she did, even balancing a grocery bag of strawberries over the handles as she went.
"Umm… Felicia…?" Toris mumbled as they began to bike through the woods. "Are you going to tell me where we are going?"
"Nope."
"Did you mean to drag me all the way out here so I can't find my way back on my own?"
"Yep. Don't want you running away, you know."
She giggled at him and pedaled harder, and Toris was hard-pressed to keep up.
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"Tadaaa," she said quietly, slipping off the bike.
It was a field, a vast, golden, empty field of weeds and grass and thick vegetation that looked soft and shone in the midday sun. It was oddly beautiful, and oddly comforting, huge and surrounded completely by trees. Over on the far edge was a dilapidated old barn, grey with age and skeletal with missing planks.
They weren't that far outside the city, Toris thought, and wondered how on earth he had encountered another world. He seemed to be doing that a lot, with Felicia. She calmly lead him places he'd never gone before, and he certainly could not have done that without her help. And her persistence. Her manic, manic persistence.
Without much preamble, Felicia plopped down on the golden vegetation, setting the berries next to her and immediately digging in. She gestured to Toris to sit down beside her. "Come on, eat. These things, are like, totally organic. Plus they're fruit, so they're actually good for you."
So he did as he was told, sat, and they ate strawberries until the juice ran down both of their arms and they were left full and happy and just staring at the clouds again, sticky fingers all tangled up and heads close together.
"How'd you know this was out here?" Toris asked.
He felt Felicia shrug next to him. "I didn't. I knew there was a trail behind the berry stand and I figured we'd follow it until we found something cool. And I guess we did."
Toris couldn't help but agree.
He smiled, almost nervously, then turned over and placed a small, gentle kiss to the side of Felicia's neck; just a touch, and he felt her smile press against his hair.
"I love you," he told her. It was the first time either of them had spoken those words, but Toris knew, easily, that it was true and perfect and he loved Felicia, loved her more than anything. Maybe it had only been two weeks, but… well, they'd held out longer than Romeo and Juliet, hadn't they?
Toris felt her gasp against his scalp, and he couldn't help but tilt his head up to smile at her - she smiled back, full and happy and a little watery. He watched her pretty green eyes for some sign that he'd done the right thing. He wanted reassurance from her.
She laughed and looked straight back at him with the happiest expression in the world, and that was when he rolled over on top of her and kissed the breath out of her.
It started out easy and slow, and they both just tasted the rightness of being with each other, but soon Toris couldn't help but push a little harder, a little deeper. He felt Felicia's fingers tangle in his long hair and heard her breath get sharper as she pressed back and -
"Oh shit, stop!" she begged, and suddenly her voice was high-pitched with a genuine fear as she pushed against his chest, panicking, squirming, her eyes blown wide.
Toris immediately backed off, rearing up onto his knees and scooting away quickly, terrified he'd done something horrible and irrevocable. As soon as she could, Felicia flinched away and curled up into herself, bringing her knees to her chest as well as she could in a skirt.
"F-Felicia?" Toris murmured softly, as if she were some animal he was scared of spooking. He reached out for a moment, as if to sooth her, but she shrank even further into herself. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, what did I do -?"
Felicia looked at him with wide eyes, then buried her face in her knees, her muffled voice spitting out curses into the cloth of her skirt. "Shit, shit, not like this, kurwa, oh god - Liet!" She lifted her head. "Liet… I’m sorry. I didn't… I didn't mean to freak out on you."
Toris blinked at her, trying to understand. "Felicia, what's going on?" Something was wrong - obviously something was wrong - and a million horrible scenarios rocketed through his head. Had she been hurt in the past; abused? Why was she pushing him away?
Felicia shook her head. Her eyes were clear and dark and shiny and the skin around them was pink and puffy. "I… I don't think I can tell you. Not like this - not now."
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"Felicia, you have to tell me." He crawled closer to her, trying just to hold her hand, reassure her. She didn't understand, though, was startled, trying to scramble further backwards, but she was off-balance and ended up sprawling on her back in the field and then Toris saw it and his brain shut down.
Felicia was staring at him, obviously wondering at the look of horror on his face; then she looked down at her lap, and her mouth opened in a wide, frightened "o".
"Liet, I'm sorry…" she whispered, trying to hide the obvious, obscene bulge that a girl's skirt should definitely not have.
It made sense, now; why she had pushed Toris off her lap when they'd fallen together in Veneziano's truck, why she was scared of letting him touch her, the way she was always so strong and her hands were so broad and she could pedal a bike with him on her handlebars.
She was not a she at all. She was a "he".
Toris did nothing but stare.
"Liet," he said, scrambling to his knees, reaching out to touch him and then stopping and drawing back. "Say something."
"Who are you - tell me who you are," Toris said in a daze, sure he wasn't hearing right. He was sure he had just been tricked, by the light and the magic of the afternoon. This wasn't…
Felicia reached out and grabbed Toris' hand. Toris didn't pull away, but he didn't squeeze back.
"My name is Feliks Łukasiewicz, and I never meant for this to happen."
His voice was not different. His hands did not feel different. He looked no different. This was the girl that Toris had fallen - the boy that Toris had - this was -
"Why?"
"Toris, maybe we should go somewhere else, talk about this later. I know this is too much for you right now, I can see it in your face -"
"Tell me now." Toris' voice did not grow any more demanding, flat and tired. "Just let me know, why?"
Feliks hung his head. "I don't know, Liet, really, I don't. I just… I've always liked skirts. I just… I like them. I do it. It's fun."
"So are you a girl? Are you… a transsexual? I can't … I don't understand."
Feliks shook his head violently. "No! No, Toris, I am a guy. I'm a male and everything I did to make you think I was a girl, was…" he trailed off, biting his lip, his voice strangling off into quiet. "It was a lie. I lied."
Obviously. Toris stayed quiet.
"It's just - it's easier if they think I'm a girl. A gay boy in skirts, that's an invitation to be killed, in some places. But if I'm just a girl, just another pretty thing in heels, it's alright. I can wear what I want and I can flirt with who I want -"
" - You flirt with straight men, Feliks. Feliks, you flirted with me."
Toris couldn't even bring himself to be angry. He didn't think it was happening. It was all a dream, and elaborate dream that he could talk himself out of.
"I love you…" Feliks told him in a small voice. "All I wanted was to be able to walk around and love you."
That made Toris' chest hurt a lot.
"We are going to be late for practice," Toris said dully. He stood and grabbed the plastic bag and the remains of their strawberries.
Feliks moved cautiously to his feet, smoothing his skirt and checking his hair. "Yeah."
Toris didn't even bother to wonder about the sudden hopelessness in his voice.
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On another note, I thought it was really funny that Liet is positive that his new bike had been stolen XD
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