A Recipe For Disaster- 1a/?
anonymous
July 7 2011, 20:30:24 UTC
1) Take one love-struck American
“I’m in love!”
The entire house seemed to shake (whether from the words uttered or the force with which the door was opened by their proclaimer it was hard to tell).
“That’s nice,” came the response from two floors up, punctuated neatly by the sound of the mahogany front door slamming back into its frame threatening to break free of its hinges.
“It’s better than nice! It’s awesome!”
“Who with?” A new voice entered the conversation as the occupants of the house started a mass migration out of the various upstairs rooms and in the direction of the new comer’s voice.
“The most gorgeous guy in the world!”
“More clarification necessary, Alfred.”
“Get down here Mattie!” Alfred replied as he lobbed his bag and coat into the closet, followed a few seconds later by his shoes.
“Not a chance,” was the firm response and Alfred had barely a moment to couple this statement with his past experiences of life and dived after his discarded shoes.
Exactly four seconds later there was an excited shriek as a ten year old plummeted down three floors between the two elegant stair cases, a harness strapped around her, a shriek that pre-empted a stampede of elephantine proportions as her brother and other assorted family members came crashing down the stairs.
Three unfortunates were pressed against the long-suffering front door as people were crammed into the hallway in their mildly hysterical enthusiasm. There was a collective pause as they all registered that Alfred wasn’t there.
“Kitchen!” someone crowed, and there was another mass movement as most flowed back out of the room like a wave.
A very amused looking Frenchman remained, walking demurely out from beneath the marble staircase and brushing down his clothes.
“Really Francis? Really?” Alfred complained, glaring at the twenty five year old as he eased himself cautiously back into the open.
“Yes, my friend, really,” was the unabashed response.
“Every time?”
“It’s just so nice to see them all working together for a common goal,” Francis replied cheerfully, lips tilted up into a wicked smile.
“The common goal of our family is to kill me?”
“Oui.”
Alfred grinned in good-humoured acceptance of this, moving over to detach his giggling cousin from her bungee cord.
“What’s up, Lottie?” he asked her, watching her face go red from the blood rushing to it as she dangled upside down.
“Me!” Charlotte chirped, hands scrabbling to help disconnect herself. Her knuckles on both hands had letters on them; in black pen on her right hand was the word ‘kiwi’ and on the other- blurred as if it someone had furiously attempted to wash the permanent marker off- were four letters spelling out ‘shee’.
Alfred caught her and lowered her down to the floor where she sniggered for a few moments before scrambling to her feet and darting after the others into the kitchen.
“Thanks,” she shouted after her as the door closed.
“Ignoring that,” Francis said smoothly, pulling Alfred’s attention back to him, “Who’s the unfortunate soul that’s captured your rough affection?”
“Shut up,” Alfred replied, starting up the stairs and his face dissolving into a doe-eyed expression. “He’s the most amazing, gorgeous, sexy guy-“
Francis prodded him to make him move faster up the stairs, expression pleased. “You’ve fallen in love!” he said proudly, one hand going over his heart.
A Recipe For Disaster- 1b/?
anonymous
July 7 2011, 20:36:17 UTC
and one 'supportive' Frenchman
“Oh God help us.” The faintly amused and mostly weary smile of Matthew, Alfred’s twin, appeared with the rest of his face over the banister above them.
“Be happy for me,” Alfred ordered, bounding up the remaining steps to meet his brother.
“I’m happy for you, and I pity the poor guy you’ve fallen for,” Matthew said, just about retaining his balance as Alfred threw all of his weight into an enthusiastic hug.
“Is he someone from your school?” Francis asked, catching up with Alfred at a more dignified pace. “And speaking of which, you’re two hours late.”
“Kinda, and I was in detention.”
“I told you that, Francis,” Matthew sighed as he prised Alfred off him.
“Did you? I’m sure I’d have remembered…”
Matthew didn’t reply, just rolled his eyes.
“I got an English detention,” Alfred said cheerfully.
“It’s a stupid language anyway,” Francis replied without missing a beat. “What’s your dear sweetheart like then? How is he ‘kinda’ from your school?”
“I know him through school, but he’s not exactly a student,” Alfred said, his eyes going out of focus again and a dreamy smile coming across his face.
“Oh God…” Matthew said again, though he looked pleased for his brother. Then he paused. “Wait, why are you so cheerful after a detention? Weren’t you supposed to be training today-“
“Is he one of the exchange students?” Francis interrupted, considerably more interested in the topic of Alfred’s love life.
“Nope.”
“Home schooled?”
“Nope.”
“Then what?”
Alfred mimed pulling a zip across his mouth, then grinned at both of them broadly.
It took only a few more seconds for Mathew’s eyes to narrow, and a few more after that for a lewd smile to spread across Francis’ face as realisation dawned.
“My my, Alfred.”
“It’s a teacher?!”
Alfred’s grin was threatening to split his face in half, pure joy radiating from him.
“Yep!”
“Oh my God, is it the new English one? That’s why you were so thrilled about getting a detention?”
“Yep and yep. Isn’t it awesome Mattie?”
Mathew let out a pained groan as Francis clapped his hands together. “How wonderful!”
“Francis!”
“I know, right?!”
“You’re both mad…”
“I’m gonna call mom, this tell her the news!”
“What?”
“I’m going to get married, I have to tell her. Jeez Mattie, thought you’d think that far ahead.”
“I, you, what?! Alfred, he’s only been here a fortnight! He’s a teacher! You’ve spoken to him for about six hours in total-“
“Seven with the detention!”
“You can’t get married to him-!”
“Don’t be such a damper on his fun, Mathieu,” Francis said, looking very pleased.
“Francis, you can’t be supporting-“
“Thanks Francis!” Alfred chirped as he rocketed back down the stairs and into the living room.
“Alfred!”
“Wait for me,” Francis sung, shooting after him.
“Francis!” Matthew ran after both of them, skidding into one of the room as Alfred started dialling his number into their video phone.
“Alfred, don’t you dare call her-“
“Hey mom!”
Matthew let out a whimper, and sank into one of the expensive cushioned seats, not even commenting when one of his many cousins- this one the twelve year old Daniel, Charlotte’s brother- appeared from nowhere to sit on him.
1) Hope OP likes where this is going, and everyone else of course... 2) Clarification of Alfred's family, extended or otherwise, will occur shortly, just as soon as a decide who they are and why they are all currently mobbing his house. :D 3)This is pretty much my first time going for a humour/romance based fic- I've done romance before (a lot) but not coupled with humour that leans a little towards cracky (it will do...). Constructive critism for this is not only welcome, but asked for. ^_^
Again, hope everyone enjoyed it, should be more up soon!
Re: A!A notes:
anonymous
July 8 2011, 10:09:48 UTC
Oh my God. Anon, I am in love with this so far. I never expected it to be filled so quickly! Matthew seems the only sane one in the family, am I right? I can’t wait to meet the rest of Alfred’s family~
Op is most certainly looking forward to what else you come up with <3
Re: A!A notes:
anonymous
August 12 2011, 15:56:30 UTC
Ahaha, this made me giggle. I love how Francis is just encouraging Alfred, and they're blatantly ignoring Mattie's sense. It's nice to read a light-hearted story every so often - I can't wait to see Arthur's reaction xDDDD Can't wait until you update a!a. Keep up the good work!
“I’m in love!”
The entire house seemed to shake (whether from the words uttered or the force with which the door was opened by their proclaimer it was hard to tell).
“That’s nice,” came the response from two floors up, punctuated neatly by the sound of the mahogany front door slamming back into its frame threatening to break free of its hinges.
“It’s better than nice! It’s awesome!”
“Who with?” A new voice entered the conversation as the occupants of the house started a mass migration out of the various upstairs rooms and in the direction of the new comer’s voice.
“The most gorgeous guy in the world!”
“More clarification necessary, Alfred.”
“Get down here Mattie!” Alfred replied as he lobbed his bag and coat into the closet, followed a few seconds later by his shoes.
“Not a chance,” was the firm response and Alfred had barely a moment to couple this statement with his past experiences of life and dived after his discarded shoes.
Exactly four seconds later there was an excited shriek as a ten year old plummeted down three floors between the two elegant stair cases, a harness strapped around her, a shriek that pre-empted a stampede of elephantine proportions as her brother and other assorted family members came crashing down the stairs.
Three unfortunates were pressed against the long-suffering front door as people were crammed into the hallway in their mildly hysterical enthusiasm. There was a collective pause as they all registered that Alfred wasn’t there.
“Kitchen!” someone crowed, and there was another mass movement as most flowed back out of the room like a wave.
A very amused looking Frenchman remained, walking demurely out from beneath the marble staircase and brushing down his clothes.
“Really Francis? Really?” Alfred complained, glaring at the twenty five year old as he eased himself cautiously back into the open.
“Yes, my friend, really,” was the unabashed response.
“Every time?”
“It’s just so nice to see them all working together for a common goal,” Francis replied cheerfully, lips tilted up into a wicked smile.
“The common goal of our family is to kill me?”
“Oui.”
Alfred grinned in good-humoured acceptance of this, moving over to detach his giggling cousin from her bungee cord.
“What’s up, Lottie?” he asked her, watching her face go red from the blood rushing to it as she dangled upside down.
“Me!” Charlotte chirped, hands scrabbling to help disconnect herself. Her knuckles on both hands had letters on them; in black pen on her right hand was the word ‘kiwi’ and on the other- blurred as if it someone had furiously attempted to wash the permanent marker off- were four letters spelling out ‘shee’.
Alfred caught her and lowered her down to the floor where she sniggered for a few moments before scrambling to her feet and darting after the others into the kitchen.
“Thanks,” she shouted after her as the door closed.
“Ignoring that,” Francis said smoothly, pulling Alfred’s attention back to him, “Who’s the unfortunate soul that’s captured your rough affection?”
“Shut up,” Alfred replied, starting up the stairs and his face dissolving into a doe-eyed expression. “He’s the most amazing, gorgeous, sexy guy-“
Francis prodded him to make him move faster up the stairs, expression pleased. “You’ve fallen in love!” he said proudly, one hand going over his heart.
“I’m in lo-ove!” Alfred crowed.
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“Oh God help us.” The faintly amused and mostly weary smile of Matthew, Alfred’s twin, appeared with the rest of his face over the banister above them.
“Be happy for me,” Alfred ordered, bounding up the remaining steps to meet his brother.
“I’m happy for you, and I pity the poor guy you’ve fallen for,” Matthew said, just about retaining his balance as Alfred threw all of his weight into an enthusiastic hug.
“Is he someone from your school?” Francis asked, catching up with Alfred at a more dignified pace. “And speaking of which, you’re two hours late.”
“Kinda, and I was in detention.”
“I told you that, Francis,” Matthew sighed as he prised Alfred off him.
“Did you? I’m sure I’d have remembered…”
Matthew didn’t reply, just rolled his eyes.
“I got an English detention,” Alfred said cheerfully.
“It’s a stupid language anyway,” Francis replied without missing a beat. “What’s your dear sweetheart like then? How is he ‘kinda’ from your school?”
“I know him through school, but he’s not exactly a student,” Alfred said, his eyes going out of focus again and a dreamy smile coming across his face.
“Oh God…” Matthew said again, though he looked pleased for his brother. Then he paused. “Wait, why are you so cheerful after a detention? Weren’t you supposed to be training today-“
“Is he one of the exchange students?” Francis interrupted, considerably more interested in the topic of Alfred’s love life.
“Nope.”
“Home schooled?”
“Nope.”
“Then what?”
Alfred mimed pulling a zip across his mouth, then grinned at both of them broadly.
It took only a few more seconds for Mathew’s eyes to narrow, and a few more after that for a lewd smile to spread across Francis’ face as realisation dawned.
“My my, Alfred.”
“It’s a teacher?!”
Alfred’s grin was threatening to split his face in half, pure joy radiating from him.
“Yep!”
“Oh my God, is it the new English one? That’s why you were so thrilled about getting a detention?”
“Yep and yep. Isn’t it awesome Mattie?”
Mathew let out a pained groan as Francis clapped his hands together. “How wonderful!”
“Francis!”
“I know, right?!”
“You’re both mad…”
“I’m gonna call mom, this tell her the news!”
“What?”
“I’m going to get married, I have to tell her. Jeez Mattie, thought you’d think that far ahead.”
“I, you, what?! Alfred, he’s only been here a fortnight! He’s a teacher! You’ve spoken to him for about six hours in total-“
“Seven with the detention!”
“You can’t get married to him-!”
“Don’t be such a damper on his fun, Mathieu,” Francis said, looking very pleased.
“Francis, you can’t be supporting-“
“Thanks Francis!” Alfred chirped as he rocketed back down the stairs and into the living room.
“Alfred!”
“Wait for me,” Francis sung, shooting after him.
“Francis!” Matthew ran after both of them, skidding into one of the room as Alfred started dialling his number into their video phone.
“Alfred, don’t you dare call her-“
“Hey mom!”
Matthew let out a whimper, and sank into one of the expensive cushioned seats, not even commenting when one of his many cousins- this one the twelve year old Daniel, Charlotte’s brother- appeared from nowhere to sit on him.
Then add a resigned Canadian.
“Oh Maple…”
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2) Clarification of Alfred's family, extended or otherwise, will occur shortly, just as soon as a decide who they are and why they are all currently mobbing his house. :D
3)This is pretty much my first time going for a humour/romance based fic- I've done romance before (a lot) but not coupled with humour that leans a little towards cracky (it will do...). Constructive critism for this is not only welcome, but asked for. ^_^
Again, hope everyone enjoyed it, should be more up soon!
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Op is most certainly looking forward to what else you come up with <3
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