Just So Darned Cute [1b/1]
anonymous
May 19 2011, 04:20:17 UTC
He found out a month later that she had road rage like you wouldn’t believe. He had bummed rides off his friends for the first few weeks, but when it came time actually get his cast removed, no one was available. Despite whatever his family or friends (or coworkers, or fellow students, or professors or… well, pretty much anyone) would think, he could think ahead and take other people’s feeling into thought. Sometimes. It was why he hesitated so long to ask Victoria for a ride-she always looked so guilty whenever she saw his cast or sling, and he hated to see her like that.
But there was no one else and she had insisted he call her if he needed help. To be fair, she seemed eager enough to help. She promptly drove over to his apartment and helped him get into her car. For awhile, Alfred thought things were going good.
So of course, just as he was about to ask her out to dinner, they hit traffic. And not just any traffic, but traffic so terrible Alfred almost thought he was back home. It was bumper to bumper, cars barely crawling an inch every five minutes.
Alfred’s lips quirked in bemusement. “Damn. Of course traffic would get terrible when I have an appointment to get to. Some luck, huh?” he started to laugh as he turned to her.
She, on the other hand, didn’t look so amused. She glared at the cars in front of her, rapping her nails against the steering wheel. “Hurry up, damn people.”
Alfred raised an eyebrow. “You okay?”
She glanced at him then back at the road. “I’m fine.”
“Okay then-”
“-it’s just ridiculous how crammed in everyone is.”
Alfred’s eyes darted from her to the cars then back to her. “Oh. ‘kay. Well, I’m sure it’ll be fine in a bit-nothing to worry about, right?”
She didn’t answer.
“…mind if I turn on the radio?” Maybe he would find something they could talk about at least. She shrugged and waved nonchalantly as she watched the cars.
Ten minutes of relative silence later, Alfred was starting to get worried. She looked down right murderous and Alfred couldn’t help but watch as the radio’s clock ticked closer to his appointment time.
“Get off the road, get off the road, get off the bloody road,” she muttering like a chant.
Finally, the cars in the lane next to them began to move. With a triumphant cackle-seriously, she cackled. Alfred nearly shoved a fist into his mouth to keep from laughing-she turned her turn light on and started to change lanes.
Only to be cut off by another car speeding so close by that Alfred nearly jumped. “Holy shit, that guy was close! Asshole. You okay?” Next to him, she shivered in her seat, face pale. He frowned and started to reach out to her.
And that was when she unleashed a torrent of curses and swear words so blistering Alfred was shocked that the offending car hadn’t burst into flames on the spot. She shrieked and beat her steering wheel before remembering the horn. She slapped it as well, rolling down her window so she could yell more pointedly. Alfred hadn’t seen someone so mad since the one time his mom caught him vacuuming up his grandmother’s ashes after he broke her urn. (What? The thing had didn’t have a bag; all he planned to do was dump the ashes into a vase until they could buy a new urn. It wasn’t like he was going to toss them out. Mothers.)
She settled down into seething in her seat, breathing heavily as she glared out the window.
“Wow,” he murmured, genuinely impressed. “You okay?”
She froze and glanced at him. Her eyes were comically wide and her cheeks bypassed pink, shooting straight to cherry red. Alfred had to fight the urge to pinch them as her hand fluttered up to her lips in shock. “I…”
He grinned. “You got a potty mouth, huh?”
That wasn’t the best idea he had ever had. The minute the words left his mouth her blush spread up her ears and her other hand clapped over her mouth to smother her shriek. She turned her head downward, so that her pigtail hung in her face, hiding her from view.
Oh, you stepped in it this time, Jones. He sighed and tried to pat her shoulder. “Um, sorry? Are you okay? You’re not mad about the potty mouth thing are you? Cause, don’t worry-you should see my brother’s one friend! He cusses like a sailor and-”
Just So Darned Cute [1c/1]
anonymous
May 19 2011, 04:22:33 UTC
“You didn’t hear anything,” she yelled, her head whipping back up to face him. “I didn’t say anything, and you didn’t hear anything, understand?!”
He blinked slowly. “Hey, man-um, lady, whatever-don’t worry. Ain’t like you the first person to get mad about getting cut off in traffic before. It’s cool.”
She groaned and put her face in her hands.
“Hey, hey, c’mon,” he tried again, curling an arm around her shoulders. “I promise, I won’t even tell anyone!”
She dropped her hands but let her face hang down. “First I break your leg, then I can’t even get you to your appointment on time. And now you heard me…” She didn’t bother to finish; instead she just groaned again and let her head fall against her steering wheel. However, she landed straight on the horn and it began to blare loudly, setting off the person behind her who began to hit his horn as well. She sighed.
Alfred tried not to laugh at her melodramatic angst and patted her shoulder. “Oh, it’s not that bad.”
“Yes, it is.”
“No, I promise you it’s not,” he chuckled and tugged her closer. “Cause see, here’s what we’re going to do. First, I’m going to call the hospital so they won’t think I blew them off. Then we can just sit here and talk until traffic gets moving again. And after that, I promise to take you to a nice restaurant and swear to never tell anyone else about your road rage issues. Ever. Deal?”
“I don’t have road rage issues,” she sniffed before looking up at him. Her eyes were large and glassy, her lips pouting just a smidge. He had to resist kissing them. “… just please, not a French restaurant.”
He grinned. “Fine by me-food’s too rich for me anyway.”
She brightened at that at least. “It is, isn’t it? And it’s so expensive!”
They ate at McDonald’s later and kissed just before he got out of her car. The minute she was gone, he punched his fist into the air. Best date ever. Even if she did curse the air blue at the drop of a hat.
Just So Darned Cute [1d/1]
anonymous
May 19 2011, 04:30:15 UTC
Shortly after they began to date seriously, Alfred discovered Victoria’s complete inability to cook anything more complex than toast and tea. He ended up eating toast a lot for breakfast, but she agreed to let him handle lunches and dinner.
When his birthday rolled around, however, she refused to let him cook dinner. He couldn’t convince her to just eat out either. She was dead set on making him a proper birthday dinner. In the end, he shrugged, prayed desperately, and did his best to tell her that really all he needed was a hamburger.
His apartment was dark when he got back. For a moment, he wondered if she had forgotten or just gone out to buy something. When he saw that all the windows were open and there was several fans in the kitchen, he scratched his head in confusion.
She was sitting at the table, glaring down at what he thought might have been burnt tree bark, a surprisingly large charcoal brisket, all smothered in what was either gravy or cranberry sauce. Judging by the color, he hoped it was cranberry sauce.
She didn’t look up as he took the seat across from her. “Hey, babe. How’s your night been?”
She promptly burst into tears.
Well, that’s a new record, an unhelpful part of his brain announced as he stared in shock. “Oh, shit, honey, I’m sorry! Are-are you alright?”
“No, I’m not,” she snapped, slapping her hands against the table. “Your damn stove burnt the steak-” (That’s what the tree bark was?) “-your stupid oven fried the potato-” (Aww, she remembered he like baked potatoes.) “-and, and the stupid directions for the gravy were too complicated!” (Eww. So it wasn’t cranberry sauce?) “And then the burner caught fire and I couldn’t find the baking soda to put it out, and-”
He was still wincing from the comment about the burner-his stove was electric-that he almost missed seeing her bottom lip tremble. Fearing true hysterics, he reached out and snagged her hands, rubbing and caressing them as comfortingly as he could. “That sounds like hell.”
“It was.”
He tried not to smile. “I bet. But are you okay?”
She sighed and nodded. “Yes… Ludwig from next door ran over with his fire extinguisher and helped.”
“Ha! He must have been glad to see Feliciano wasn’t the one starting a fire this time!”
She gave him a glare that could have peeled paint off the walls. “What does that mean?”
He nearly slapped himself upside the head. “Nothing-so, dinner’s no good, right?”
She deflated, face falling again. “Yes… I’m sorry, Alfred. I wanted to your birthday to be special and now…”
“Hey, hey, come on,” he began, rising from his seat to walk to her side and pull her into a hug. She tucked her head into his neck with a sniff. “I’ve never had anybody go out of their way to make me a special dinner before, you know. That seems pretty special to me.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck. “That was very corny.”
He couldn’t help but laugh then. “Okay, say what you will, but it’s totally true.”
“…really?” she asked, pulling back a bit so they were eye to eye.
He smiled and pressed his forehead to hers. “Really really,” he murmured before he finally gave into the urge to kiss her. He hummed thoughtfully as he pulled back and grinned. “Come on. Let’s forget about this and just go out.”
She frowned. “But it’s your birthday-it should be special.”
“It will be,” he insisted as he tugged her to her feet. “If you spend it with me. What do you say?”
She stared for a moment before raising her chin. “No hamburgers.”
“Ah, come on!”
“No hamburgers. Some place special.”
“You’re killing me, babe,” he groaned and laughed all at once, pulling her towards the door. “I’m a man of simple tastes, and I gotta have my burgers.”
“Simple tastes is a gross understatement.”
“Better a gross understatement than just gross though, right?” he grinned as they slipped out the door.
She just shook her head and smiled. “No hamburgers.”
Just So Darned Cute [1e/1]
anonymous
May 19 2011, 04:34:06 UTC
They decided that she would fly back to the States with him for Christmas. Apparently the holidays were nothing but a nightmare with her brothers around, and he was desperate to have his family meet her. They would love her, he was certain.
Now if only they could find the airplane tickets.
“They were right here this morning!” she snapped, checking the nightstand once more. “I made sure of it.”
“Did you check your pockets?” he suggested as he scoured the trash cans again.
“Do you think I’m stupid?” she snapped back. “I know they’re here! It’s not like they could just get up and walk off.”
Half an hour later, she was nearly in tears. The bathroom and kitchen were a mess, the bedroom and living room looked as though a tornado had blasted through. Alfred even checked under the stove to see if they had slipped under it.
Finally, he caught her hands as she tried to tear the couch apart again. “Tory, baby, we’re not going to make the flight.”
She glared. “Yes, we will-just let me check the sofa one more time-”
“Victoria. Sweetheart, they’re not there.”
Her glare morphed into tears.
“Oh, baby, don’t cry. It’s okay. We’ll just…try and rebook the flight, okay?”
“Alfred,” she sobbed, burying her face in his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I don’t know where I put them. I know you’ve been looking forward to seeing your family, and now I’ve ruined it.”
“Hey, hey,” he soothed, rubbing her back. “Nothing’s ruined. I’ll call the airport and see if we can get on another flight. Just sit down and relax. If we have to, I’ll call my parents and tell them we’ll see them at New Year’s, okay?”
Glumly, she nodded. He kissed her brow and sighed as she snatched up the coats she had set out earlier on the back of the couch. They wouldn’t be needing them anymore.
Just as she turned, she paused, looking down at the coats. He watched her curiously as she reached into her pockets.
And pulled out a pair of tickets.
He laughed in spite of his shock as she yelled in triumph. They barely made the flight.
Just So Darned Cute [1f/1]
anonymous
May 19 2011, 04:36:41 UTC
There were certain things he knew he was going to love about Victoria forever. He loved the way she would fuss with her uncooperative hair even if they were running late. He loved that she would never admit defeat when it came to learning how to drive a stick shift. He loved that she saved buttons almost obsessively. He loved that after twenty years she still could not cook a steak.
He loved that when they got married, she refused to not only not see him the day of the wedding, but he didn’t even get to catch a glimpse of her the day before. He loved that she nearly tripped twice up the aisle because of her high heels, which she still could not master. He loved that she nearly chucked a champagne flute at her brother’s head when he tried to make a speech about her being a grubby whine baby as a child at their reception.
He loved that she had him curled right around her little finger, even when she almost crushed it when she gave birth.
Those little moments, those tiny imperfections that could ruin anyone’s day made him smile. He grinned as he buried his face into his wife’s shoulder.
Re: Just So Darned Cute [1f/1]
anonymous
May 19 2011, 06:24:16 UTC
Maybe it's because I'm going through as many sentimental videos as I can. Maybe it's because I'm in a relationship with someone who isn't exactly like Alfred but has shown me already innumerable times that he finds me adorable and wonderful just the way I am, with all my insanity and quirks and idiotic mistakes.
But I loved it. I adored it. Alfred is such a sweetheart and I can hear his voice, loving and bright and full of laughter. It's such a wonderful picture of a courtship and relationship, though I'd love to see Victoria's take on Alfred as well, for an interesting perspective.
Gods I'm too sentimental for my own good. -scuttles away-
Re: Just So Darned Cute [1f/1]
anonymous
May 19 2011, 06:26:04 UTC
Not OP!
This is so perfect! It's adorable and fluffy, and I can so see it all happening. I love how you took the incidents from the video/song and morphed them to fit the characters. And your writing is fantastic. It was just aw, and squee, and great!
Ahh, so fast! Anon~ This is so sweet and perfect and oh, I think I have a toothache! I lovelovelove the inclusion of the 'fall for her everyday' story~ High heels, cooking, road rage, anon, the adorableness of this shall sustain me today~~
Re: Just So Darned Cute [1f/1]
anonymous
May 19 2011, 16:58:29 UTC
This is really just so darned cute, A!A. I love how you made the story flow, how their progression in the relationship is both realistic and IC, how you made Victoria a rounded character (not just England with a vagina, as another anon said) and how all her flaws are human flaws and not something over the top. The ending just killed me, so adorable.
Just so darned fluffy
anonymous
May 19 2011, 18:19:10 UTC
I love this fill. Seriously, it was the right amount of fluff without being overdone. I second the request to see Alfred from Victoria's perspective btw.
Well anyway, I'm bookmarking this to read for when I have a bad day. Thanks author-anon for writing this.
But there was no one else and she had insisted he call her if he needed help. To be fair, she seemed eager enough to help. She promptly drove over to his apartment and helped him get into her car. For awhile, Alfred thought things were going good.
So of course, just as he was about to ask her out to dinner, they hit traffic. And not just any traffic, but traffic so terrible Alfred almost thought he was back home. It was bumper to bumper, cars barely crawling an inch every five minutes.
Alfred’s lips quirked in bemusement. “Damn. Of course traffic would get terrible when I have an appointment to get to. Some luck, huh?” he started to laugh as he turned to her.
She, on the other hand, didn’t look so amused. She glared at the cars in front of her, rapping her nails against the steering wheel. “Hurry up, damn people.”
Alfred raised an eyebrow. “You okay?”
She glanced at him then back at the road. “I’m fine.”
“Okay then-”
“-it’s just ridiculous how crammed in everyone is.”
Alfred’s eyes darted from her to the cars then back to her. “Oh. ‘kay. Well, I’m sure it’ll be fine in a bit-nothing to worry about, right?”
She didn’t answer.
“…mind if I turn on the radio?” Maybe he would find something they could talk about at least. She shrugged and waved nonchalantly as she watched the cars.
Ten minutes of relative silence later, Alfred was starting to get worried. She looked down right murderous and Alfred couldn’t help but watch as the radio’s clock ticked closer to his appointment time.
“Get off the road, get off the road, get off the bloody road,” she muttering like a chant.
Finally, the cars in the lane next to them began to move. With a triumphant cackle-seriously, she cackled. Alfred nearly shoved a fist into his mouth to keep from laughing-she turned her turn light on and started to change lanes.
Only to be cut off by another car speeding so close by that Alfred nearly jumped. “Holy shit, that guy was close! Asshole. You okay?” Next to him, she shivered in her seat, face pale. He frowned and started to reach out to her.
And that was when she unleashed a torrent of curses and swear words so blistering Alfred was shocked that the offending car hadn’t burst into flames on the spot. She shrieked and beat her steering wheel before remembering the horn. She slapped it as well, rolling down her window so she could yell more pointedly. Alfred hadn’t seen someone so mad since the one time his mom caught him vacuuming up his grandmother’s ashes after he broke her urn. (What? The thing had didn’t have a bag; all he planned to do was dump the ashes into a vase until they could buy a new urn. It wasn’t like he was going to toss them out. Mothers.)
She settled down into seething in her seat, breathing heavily as she glared out the window.
“Wow,” he murmured, genuinely impressed. “You okay?”
She froze and glanced at him. Her eyes were comically wide and her cheeks bypassed pink, shooting straight to cherry red. Alfred had to fight the urge to pinch them as her hand fluttered up to her lips in shock. “I…”
He grinned. “You got a potty mouth, huh?”
That wasn’t the best idea he had ever had. The minute the words left his mouth her blush spread up her ears and her other hand clapped over her mouth to smother her shriek. She turned her head downward, so that her pigtail hung in her face, hiding her from view.
Oh, you stepped in it this time, Jones. He sighed and tried to pat her shoulder. “Um, sorry? Are you okay? You’re not mad about the potty mouth thing are you? Cause, don’t worry-you should see my brother’s one friend! He cusses like a sailor and-”
Reply
He blinked slowly. “Hey, man-um, lady, whatever-don’t worry. Ain’t like you the first person to get mad about getting cut off in traffic before. It’s cool.”
She groaned and put her face in her hands.
“Hey, hey, c’mon,” he tried again, curling an arm around her shoulders. “I promise, I won’t even tell anyone!”
She dropped her hands but let her face hang down. “First I break your leg, then I can’t even get you to your appointment on time. And now you heard me…” She didn’t bother to finish; instead she just groaned again and let her head fall against her steering wheel. However, she landed straight on the horn and it began to blare loudly, setting off the person behind her who began to hit his horn as well. She sighed.
Alfred tried not to laugh at her melodramatic angst and patted her shoulder. “Oh, it’s not that bad.”
“Yes, it is.”
“No, I promise you it’s not,” he chuckled and tugged her closer. “Cause see, here’s what we’re going to do. First, I’m going to call the hospital so they won’t think I blew them off. Then we can just sit here and talk until traffic gets moving again. And after that, I promise to take you to a nice restaurant and swear to never tell anyone else about your road rage issues. Ever. Deal?”
“I don’t have road rage issues,” she sniffed before looking up at him. Her eyes were large and glassy, her lips pouting just a smidge. He had to resist kissing them. “… just please, not a French restaurant.”
He grinned. “Fine by me-food’s too rich for me anyway.”
She brightened at that at least. “It is, isn’t it? And it’s so expensive!”
They ate at McDonald’s later and kissed just before he got out of her car. The minute she was gone, he punched his fist into the air. Best date ever. Even if she did curse the air blue at the drop of a hat.
Reply
When his birthday rolled around, however, she refused to let him cook dinner. He couldn’t convince her to just eat out either. She was dead set on making him a proper birthday dinner. In the end, he shrugged, prayed desperately, and did his best to tell her that really all he needed was a hamburger.
His apartment was dark when he got back. For a moment, he wondered if she had forgotten or just gone out to buy something. When he saw that all the windows were open and there was several fans in the kitchen, he scratched his head in confusion.
She was sitting at the table, glaring down at what he thought might have been burnt tree bark, a surprisingly large charcoal brisket, all smothered in what was either gravy or cranberry sauce. Judging by the color, he hoped it was cranberry sauce.
She didn’t look up as he took the seat across from her. “Hey, babe. How’s your night been?”
She promptly burst into tears.
Well, that’s a new record, an unhelpful part of his brain announced as he stared in shock. “Oh, shit, honey, I’m sorry! Are-are you alright?”
“No, I’m not,” she snapped, slapping her hands against the table. “Your damn stove burnt the steak-” (That’s what the tree bark was?) “-your stupid oven fried the potato-” (Aww, she remembered he like baked potatoes.) “-and, and the stupid directions for the gravy were too complicated!” (Eww. So it wasn’t cranberry sauce?) “And then the burner caught fire and I couldn’t find the baking soda to put it out, and-”
He was still wincing from the comment about the burner-his stove was electric-that he almost missed seeing her bottom lip tremble. Fearing true hysterics, he reached out and snagged her hands, rubbing and caressing them as comfortingly as he could. “That sounds like hell.”
“It was.”
He tried not to smile. “I bet. But are you okay?”
She sighed and nodded. “Yes… Ludwig from next door ran over with his fire extinguisher and helped.”
“Ha! He must have been glad to see Feliciano wasn’t the one starting a fire this time!”
She gave him a glare that could have peeled paint off the walls. “What does that mean?”
He nearly slapped himself upside the head. “Nothing-so, dinner’s no good, right?”
She deflated, face falling again. “Yes… I’m sorry, Alfred. I wanted to your birthday to be special and now…”
“Hey, hey, come on,” he began, rising from his seat to walk to her side and pull her into a hug. She tucked her head into his neck with a sniff. “I’ve never had anybody go out of their way to make me a special dinner before, you know. That seems pretty special to me.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck. “That was very corny.”
He couldn’t help but laugh then. “Okay, say what you will, but it’s totally true.”
“…really?” she asked, pulling back a bit so they were eye to eye.
He smiled and pressed his forehead to hers. “Really really,” he murmured before he finally gave into the urge to kiss her. He hummed thoughtfully as he pulled back and grinned. “Come on. Let’s forget about this and just go out.”
She frowned. “But it’s your birthday-it should be special.”
“It will be,” he insisted as he tugged her to her feet. “If you spend it with me. What do you say?”
She stared for a moment before raising her chin. “No hamburgers.”
“Ah, come on!”
“No hamburgers. Some place special.”
“You’re killing me, babe,” he groaned and laughed all at once, pulling her towards the door. “I’m a man of simple tastes, and I gotta have my burgers.”
“Simple tastes is a gross understatement.”
“Better a gross understatement than just gross though, right?” he grinned as they slipped out the door.
She just shook her head and smiled. “No hamburgers.”
He laughed.
Reply
Now if only they could find the airplane tickets.
“They were right here this morning!” she snapped, checking the nightstand once more. “I made sure of it.”
“Did you check your pockets?” he suggested as he scoured the trash cans again.
“Do you think I’m stupid?” she snapped back. “I know they’re here! It’s not like they could just get up and walk off.”
Half an hour later, she was nearly in tears. The bathroom and kitchen were a mess, the bedroom and living room looked as though a tornado had blasted through. Alfred even checked under the stove to see if they had slipped under it.
Finally, he caught her hands as she tried to tear the couch apart again. “Tory, baby, we’re not going to make the flight.”
She glared. “Yes, we will-just let me check the sofa one more time-”
“Victoria. Sweetheart, they’re not there.”
Her glare morphed into tears.
“Oh, baby, don’t cry. It’s okay. We’ll just…try and rebook the flight, okay?”
“Alfred,” she sobbed, burying her face in his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I don’t know where I put them. I know you’ve been looking forward to seeing your family, and now I’ve ruined it.”
“Hey, hey,” he soothed, rubbing her back. “Nothing’s ruined. I’ll call the airport and see if we can get on another flight. Just sit down and relax. If we have to, I’ll call my parents and tell them we’ll see them at New Year’s, okay?”
Glumly, she nodded. He kissed her brow and sighed as she snatched up the coats she had set out earlier on the back of the couch. They wouldn’t be needing them anymore.
Just as she turned, she paused, looking down at the coats. He watched her curiously as she reached into her pockets.
And pulled out a pair of tickets.
He laughed in spite of his shock as she yelled in triumph. They barely made the flight.
Reply
He loved that when they got married, she refused to not only not see him the day of the wedding, but he didn’t even get to catch a glimpse of her the day before. He loved that she nearly tripped twice up the aisle because of her high heels, which she still could not master. He loved that she nearly chucked a champagne flute at her brother’s head when he tried to make a speech about her being a grubby whine baby as a child at their reception.
He loved that she had him curled right around her little finger, even when she almost crushed it when she gave birth.
Those little moments, those tiny imperfections that could ruin anyone’s day made him smile. He grinned as he buried his face into his wife’s shoulder.
Yeah, I live for little moments like that.
Reply
But I loved it. I adored it. Alfred is such a sweetheart and I can hear his voice, loving and bright and full of laughter. It's such a wonderful picture of a courtship and relationship, though I'd love to see Victoria's take on Alfred as well, for an interesting perspective.
Gods I'm too sentimental for my own good. -scuttles away-
Reply
This is so perfect! It's adorable and fluffy, and I can so see it all happening. I love how you took the incidents from the video/song and morphed them to fit the characters. And your writing is fantastic. It was just aw, and squee, and great!
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Well anyway, I'm bookmarking this to read for when I have a bad day. Thanks author-anon for writing this.
Reply
Leave a comment