Re: Of Heroes and Wizards [4a/??]
anonymous
April 15 2011, 01:08:07 UTC
Shhhh, I like posting two parts at a time, I write short chapters, it deserves it. xD
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The duo originally intended to take the same path Alfred used when he came through. They originally intended to just walk away from the destruction that lay way in their path, not further investigated. Arthur had that feeling that if they never tried looking at what was the cause of the mass amount of debris, that they wouldn’t be in the situation they’re in now.
The two were much farther from where they originally started, and now people were trying to kill them.
Before the two ended up two days farther from their destination, Alfred had the genius idea of checking around the debris to see what kind of creature might have caused this. A couple of weapon-wielding psychopaths jumped from behind the mess, in hopes of killing Alfred and taking Arthur to the king themselves, attacked Alfred. The attackers only managed to injure Alfred’s left arm even more, and Arthur had to intervene to stop the fight.
While literally jumping on the horse, grabbing Arthur and running away wasn’t really the hero’s main intention, he needed to keep himself alive. He wasn’t really going for the award anymore. He wanted to get to know Arthur, learn why the wizard was causing destruction and making lives miserable. He wanted to see if Arthur would try to kill him again, though he was really hoping it wasn’t going to happen.
Alfred finally stopped his horse by a nearby spring when he felt that they were no longer being chased. He felt Arthur get off the back, but Alfred was highly hesitant with dismounting the horse. His left arm was burning in pain. It was practically the only part of him that had taken an extensive amount of damage. If he kept letting it get beat up even more, he might as well chop the arm off and be on his way as the one-armed hero or something.
The wizard scanned Alfred. “Get off your horse, you git! I can do something about your arm if you’re in a much lower position.”
The younger nation looked at the mage. He wasn’t really sure if what the mage was saying was true, but he wouldn’t mind having a much better arm. Slowly, Alfred dismounted his horse and slowly walked over to Arthur. The wizard folded his arms. “Take off your armor.”
“What?” Alfred’s eyes widened at the request, or demand, rather.
“Take off your armor, you twat! There’s nothing I can do to your arm while it’s behind all that metal,” Arthur said with a frown. Alfred slowly started taking the armor he was wearing off, and was soon done. Alfred’s face tinted slightly. “Do…do I have to take my top off too?”
“Well, if you don’t want me to treat your whole arm, then you don’t have to.”
Alfred slowly took off his shirt. It still looked like it was just fine, despite the amount of wear and tear there was on the left arm. Arthur led Alfred over to the spring and sat him down. As soon as Arthur began treating Alfred’s arm, the young hero had to start the conversation with a question.
“Why do you mercilessly slaughter people and destroy kingdoms?”
Arthur stopped his magic for a moment and glared at Alfred. “That’s really none of your business.” The wizard then went back to concentrating on Alfred’s arm. Alfred, not in the least bit satisfied with the answer, persisted. “Was it out of boredom? What about bloodlust? Are you angry with someone? Do you want friends? What about-“
The wizard immediately shut Alfred’s mouth with some of his magic. Arthur’s frown was much more prominent now. As he went back to work on Alfred’s arm, he spoke, “It’s because I don’t care, you twat! Early in my life, people have always shunned and bullied me for being different. I was frequently attacked and robbed because of it. Eventually, I turned into a mere lost spirit, and because I see everyone as a threat, I feel as though they don’t deserve to exist. Anyone who gets in my way dies, and even bystanders perish if I’m having one of my days…”
Re: Of Heroes and Wizards [4b/??]
anonymous
April 15 2011, 01:08:57 UTC
Arthur could hear Alfred snickering at the last sentence. The wizard thumped the younger blond on the forehead.
“I’m not exactly an evil wizard; I’m just trying to keep myself alive and in solitude in this world. While I may be a wizard, it doesn’t mean I’m not human. I have feelings, actually, HAD, feelings, and felt a need to express them every once in a while. If people couldn’t defend themselves against me, so be it. If they died, then they died. That couldn’t be helped; they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
Arthur stopped his magic again and eliminated the glowing aura on Alfred’s mouth. The hero raised a finger. “So, basically, you’re saying you’re lonely and have self-esteem issues, and instead of committing suicide like some kids in our kingdom do, you go out killing people because they’re probably like the rest of the people that bullied you, right?”
The wizard’s eyebrows furrowed as a blush ran across his face. “That is not what I’m saying, git! I just told you why I did it and you had to go and piece this bloody-” Alfred quieted the older blond with the finger he was just holding up earlier. “It’s fine, Artie!”
“It’s Arthur, twat.”
“…there’s more of a meaning behind what some people say! So just because you told me this story doesn’t mean what you said was a lie!”
Arthur let out a frustrated noise and shoved the younger nation in the spring.
Re: Of Heroes and Wizards [4b/??]
anonymous
April 15 2011, 03:25:18 UTC
Ah, I love the updates for this ^_^
Just a note. You shouldn't have multiple people speaking in one paragraph. When someone new speaks, give them their own paragraph. It gets confusing with things like this:
Arthur stopped his magic for a moment and glared at Alfred. “That’s really none of your business.” The wizard then went back to concentrating on Alfred’s arm. Alfred, not in the least bit satisfied with the answer, persisted. “Was it out of boredom? What about bloodlust? Are you angry with someone? Do you want friends? What about-“
It's easier to read as:
Arthur stopped his magic for a moment and glared at Alfred. “That’s really none of your business.” The wizard then went back to concentrating on Alfred’s arm.
Alfred, not in the least bit satisfied with the answer, persisted. “Was it out of boredom? What about bloodlust? Are you angry with someone? Do you want friends? What about-“
The same usually goes with actions. New action, new paragraph. Just a note <3
---
The duo originally intended to take the same path Alfred used when he came through. They originally intended to just walk away from the destruction that lay way in their path, not further investigated. Arthur had that feeling that if they never tried looking at what was the cause of the mass amount of debris, that they wouldn’t be in the situation they’re in now.
The two were much farther from where they originally started, and now people were trying to kill them.
Before the two ended up two days farther from their destination, Alfred had the genius idea of checking around the debris to see what kind of creature might have caused this. A couple of weapon-wielding psychopaths jumped from behind the mess, in hopes of killing Alfred and taking Arthur to the king themselves, attacked Alfred. The attackers only managed to injure Alfred’s left arm even more, and Arthur had to intervene to stop the fight.
While literally jumping on the horse, grabbing Arthur and running away wasn’t really the hero’s main intention, he needed to keep himself alive. He wasn’t really going for the award anymore. He wanted to get to know Arthur, learn why the wizard was causing destruction and making lives miserable. He wanted to see if Arthur would try to kill him again, though he was really hoping it wasn’t going to happen.
Alfred finally stopped his horse by a nearby spring when he felt that they were no longer being chased. He felt Arthur get off the back, but Alfred was highly hesitant with dismounting the horse. His left arm was burning in pain. It was practically the only part of him that had taken an extensive amount of damage. If he kept letting it get beat up even more, he might as well chop the arm off and be on his way as the one-armed hero or something.
The wizard scanned Alfred. “Get off your horse, you git! I can do something about your arm if you’re in a much lower position.”
The younger nation looked at the mage. He wasn’t really sure if what the mage was saying was true, but he wouldn’t mind having a much better arm. Slowly, Alfred dismounted his horse and slowly walked over to Arthur. The wizard folded his arms. “Take off your armor.”
“What?” Alfred’s eyes widened at the request, or demand, rather.
“Take off your armor, you twat! There’s nothing I can do to your arm while it’s behind all that metal,” Arthur said with a frown. Alfred slowly started taking the armor he was wearing off, and was soon done. Alfred’s face tinted slightly. “Do…do I have to take my top off too?”
“Well, if you don’t want me to treat your whole arm, then you don’t have to.”
Alfred slowly took off his shirt. It still looked like it was just fine, despite the amount of wear and tear there was on the left arm. Arthur led Alfred over to the spring and sat him down. As soon as Arthur began treating Alfred’s arm, the young hero had to start the conversation with a question.
“Why do you mercilessly slaughter people and destroy kingdoms?”
Arthur stopped his magic for a moment and glared at Alfred. “That’s really none of your business.” The wizard then went back to concentrating on Alfred’s arm. Alfred, not in the least bit satisfied with the answer, persisted. “Was it out of boredom? What about bloodlust? Are you angry with someone? Do you want friends? What about-“
The wizard immediately shut Alfred’s mouth with some of his magic. Arthur’s frown was much more prominent now. As he went back to work on Alfred’s arm, he spoke, “It’s because I don’t care, you twat! Early in my life, people have always shunned and bullied me for being different. I was frequently attacked and robbed because of it. Eventually, I turned into a mere lost spirit, and because I see everyone as a threat, I feel as though they don’t deserve to exist. Anyone who gets in my way dies, and even bystanders perish if I’m having one of my days…”
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“I’m not exactly an evil wizard; I’m just trying to keep myself alive and in solitude in this world. While I may be a wizard, it doesn’t mean I’m not human. I have feelings, actually, HAD, feelings, and felt a need to express them every once in a while. If people couldn’t defend themselves against me, so be it. If they died, then they died. That couldn’t be helped; they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
Arthur stopped his magic again and eliminated the glowing aura on Alfred’s mouth. The hero raised a finger. “So, basically, you’re saying you’re lonely and have self-esteem issues, and instead of committing suicide like some kids in our kingdom do, you go out killing people because they’re probably like the rest of the people that bullied you, right?”
The wizard’s eyebrows furrowed as a blush ran across his face. “That is not what I’m saying, git! I just told you why I did it and you had to go and piece this bloody-” Alfred quieted the older blond with the finger he was just holding up earlier. “It’s fine, Artie!”
“It’s Arthur, twat.”
“…there’s more of a meaning behind what some people say! So just because you told me this story doesn’t mean what you said was a lie!”
Arthur let out a frustrated noise and shoved the younger nation in the spring.
Reply
Just a note. You shouldn't have multiple people speaking in one paragraph. When someone new speaks, give them their own paragraph. It gets confusing with things like this:
Arthur stopped his magic for a moment and glared at Alfred. “That’s really none of your business.” The wizard then went back to concentrating on Alfred’s arm. Alfred, not in the least bit satisfied with the answer, persisted. “Was it out of boredom? What about bloodlust? Are you angry with someone? Do you want friends? What about-“
It's easier to read as:
Arthur stopped his magic for a moment and glared at Alfred. “That’s really none of your business.” The wizard then went back to concentrating on Alfred’s arm.
Alfred, not in the least bit satisfied with the answer, persisted. “Was it out of boredom? What about bloodlust? Are you angry with someone? Do you want friends? What about-“
The same usually goes with actions. New action, new paragraph. Just a note <3
Reply
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