Mi Estellas (1b/1)
anonymous
April 10 2011, 06:40:13 UTC
She'd read somewhere about two halves of the same whole. Or perhaps someone had spoken of it to her? That was how others saw love. As two, always as two. To them these passionate touches and desperate mewls would be no more than lust and desire. Could be no more, because love was only supposed to exist in twos. She didn't think it was selfishness, or lack of ability to be satisfied with one lover, that drove her to drown herself in the two's embrace again and again. They both held an equal place to her. Equally as important, equally as dear. She had no analogy to give to it. Didn't care a wit about those who said it wasn't how love worked. They simply didn't love as she did. She felt comfortable around either. She only felt whole around both. Nothing else mattered. Her arms tightened drawing them closer, her lips moving up the tanned neck at her disposal. This moment was all that mattered.
"I thought you didn't want me to see stars..." Antonia gasped out, hips bucking as Gilbertine's fingers moved in and out of her.
"Only if the amazing me causes them." Gilbertine murmured teasingly, fingers moving determinedly, pressing farther and farther in.
Antonia shouted out as pleasure flooded every nerve. "There, Quierdo. Oh, there!"
"Belle, Tonia. Belle." Frances murmured into her neck as the other girl gave one more cry before collapsing to the bed. She leaned down to brush her lips against the others, only to find the teasing fingers pressing farther inside her own body. She gave a small growl, and reached out to yank Gilbertine on top of her, her own fingers sliding into the willing body over hers. "Allemeuse!" She accused.
"Look who's talking, Frenchy." Gilbertine shuddered. Their fingers moved in unison bodies, bodies sliding against one another as they built towards climax. Antonia recovered enough to roll toward them, her lips brushing against an arm or shoulder gently.
Frances gave a shriek as climax shot through her, and Gilbertine could only groan, burying her face in her breasts as she shuddered, hips bucking a few more times as her body gave into release.
"Quierdo. Carino. Moreno." Antonia's arms drew them both two her, lips moving gently across their faces as they caught their breath.
"Sap." Gilbertine accused, but one arm found Antonia's waist, pulling her closer.
Antonia only grinned, not taken in by the rough words. Not after knowing the other girl for so long. "Mi Estrellas." She murmurred one last endearment, nuzzling into Frances's shoulder, her arms still holding both her lovers close.
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Yes, I'm a sap. I tried not to make it too sappy. French and Spanish are thanks to google. If they suck, I apologize...
Re: Mi Estellas (1b/1)
anonymous
April 10 2011, 13:16:53 UTC
"She'd read somewhere about two halves of the same whole. Or perhaps someone had spoken of it to her? That was how others saw love. As two, always as two. To them these passionate touches and desperate mewls would be no more than lust and desire. Could be no more, because love was only supposed to exist in twos. She didn't think it was selfishness, or lack of ability to be satisfied with one lover, that drove her to drown herself in the two's embrace again and again. They both held an equal place to her. Equally as important, equally as dear. She had no analogy to give to it. Didn't care a wit about those who said it wasn't how love worked. They simply didn't love as she did. She felt comfortable around either. She only felt whole around both." <--- This whole paragraph; I love it. Love is expressed in so many different ways, we can't just limit it to two people.
I enjoyed reading this short fill. Thanks for writing it!
Oh, by the way, your title should be "Mis Estellas" because "Estellas" is plural. But it's not a big deal, so don't feel bad about it ^__^
Re: Mi Estellas (1b/1)
anonymous
April 10 2011, 15:48:55 UTC
More Spanish correction in case you feel like posting this in another place:
Quierdo = Not even a word, it would be "Querido" but that's masculine so you should use "Querida" when addressing a woman.
Carino: Actually "Cariño" but is ok if your keyboard doesn't have that letter.
Moreno: Again a masculine, should be "Morena".
Mas, Gil. De mas en mas o cada vez mas...: That doesn't actually makes sense "More, Gil. Of more to more or every time more". I'll suggest something along the lines: "Más, Gil. Más, más fuerte, no te detengas. Cada vez más." (More, Fil. More, stronger, don't stop. Every time more.)
The problem of plural and singular of the title have already been address so I'll leave it there.
Re: Mi Estellas (1b/1)
anonymous
April 11 2011, 06:58:25 UTC
Thank-you for all the corrections. My on-line searching skills clearly fail. I ironically know people who speak both french and spanish, but the thought of handing them a pwp femslash fic and asking them to correct it would be...awkward. LOL
I've made all the corrections you suggested in my own copy in case I de-anon with it somewhere. Thank-you for them, and the compliment on the fic itself.
Re: Mi Estellas (1b/1)
anonymous
April 11 2011, 00:09:19 UTC
Awwwwwwwwww, wonderful lesbian poly-love. <3 Gotta love it.
Sorry, though, I must comment. xD; Above anons commented on the Spanish already but you might want to check the French too. At least "tricheur" is male. It should be "tricheuse".
And hey, why no German? :( Not romantic enough for you? (... and btw, no offense to anyone who actually has that name but.... Gilbertine....? *cackles*)
Okay, never mind the complaints, I love you still. xD<3
Re: Mi Estellas (1b/1)
anonymous
April 11 2011, 07:04:39 UTC
Yah, I figured they were both slightly fail. But, man, I didn't realize how fail. Sigh. That'll teach me a lesson about inserting languages I don't speak into fics.
Oh, it wasn't that the language wasn't romantic enough. It's that the character of Prussia wasn't romantic enough. LOL I was going to add German too, but then...she never said anything I could think of to translate. For all that she didn't shut up. *blushes over name* Blame the baby name sites and the lack of sensible feminine versions of Gilbert.
Haha...well, I'm glad despite language and character naming failure it was enjoyable to read.
"I thought you didn't want me to see stars..." Antonia gasped out, hips bucking as Gilbertine's fingers moved in and out of her.
"Only if the amazing me causes them." Gilbertine murmured teasingly, fingers moving determinedly, pressing farther and farther in.
Antonia shouted out as pleasure flooded every nerve. "There, Quierdo. Oh, there!"
"Belle, Tonia. Belle." Frances murmured into her neck as the other girl gave one more cry before collapsing to the bed. She leaned down to brush her lips against the others, only to find the teasing fingers pressing farther inside her own body. She gave a small growl, and reached out to yank Gilbertine on top of her, her own fingers sliding into the willing body over hers. "Allemeuse!" She accused.
"Look who's talking, Frenchy." Gilbertine shuddered. Their fingers moved in unison bodies, bodies sliding against one another as they built towards climax. Antonia recovered enough to roll toward them, her lips brushing against an arm or shoulder gently.
Frances gave a shriek as climax shot through her, and Gilbertine could only groan, burying her face in her breasts as she shuddered, hips bucking a few more times as her body gave into release.
"Quierdo. Carino. Moreno." Antonia's arms drew them both two her, lips moving gently across their faces as they caught their breath.
"Sap." Gilbertine accused, but one arm found Antonia's waist, pulling her closer.
Antonia only grinned, not taken in by the rough words. Not after knowing the other girl for so long. "Mi Estrellas." She murmurred one last endearment, nuzzling into Frances's shoulder, her arms still holding both her lovers close.
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Yes, I'm a sap. I tried not to make it too sappy. French and Spanish are thanks to google. If they suck, I apologize...
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I enjoyed reading this short fill. Thanks for writing it!
Oh, by the way, your title should be "Mis Estellas" because "Estellas" is plural. But it's not a big deal, so don't feel bad about it ^__^
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Quierdo = Not even a word, it would be "Querido" but that's masculine so you should use "Querida" when addressing a woman.
Carino: Actually "Cariño" but is ok if your keyboard doesn't have that letter.
Moreno: Again a masculine, should be "Morena".
Mas, Gil. De mas en mas o cada vez mas...: That doesn't actually makes sense "More, Gil. Of more to more or every time more". I'll suggest something along the lines: "Más, Gil. Más, más fuerte, no te detengas. Cada vez más." (More, Fil. More, stronger, don't stop. Every time more.)
The problem of plural and singular of the title have already been address so I'll leave it there.
Nice Fem Slash BTW.
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I've made all the corrections you suggested in my own copy in case I de-anon with it somewhere. Thank-you for them, and the compliment on the fic itself.
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I hope you de-anon someday since is a really nice fill.
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Sorry, though, I must comment. xD; Above anons commented on the Spanish already but you might want to check the French too. At least "tricheur" is male. It should be "tricheuse".
And hey, why no German? :( Not romantic enough for you? (... and btw, no offense to anyone who actually has that name but.... Gilbertine....? *cackles*)
Okay, never mind the complaints, I love you still. xD<3
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Oh, it wasn't that the language wasn't romantic enough. It's that the character of Prussia wasn't romantic enough. LOL I was going to add German too, but then...she never said anything I could think of to translate. For all that she didn't shut up. *blushes over name* Blame the baby name sites and the lack of sensible feminine versions of Gilbert.
Haha...well, I'm glad despite language and character naming failure it was enjoyable to read.
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