I Think I Need a New Heart [4a/?]
anonymous
June 10 2011, 02:51:50 UTC
The first thing they did was watch My Fair Lady.
No, that wasn’t quite true. The first thing they actually did was visit Gilbert. Gilbert was the world’s biggest asshole, a title he took supreme pride in. He was also one of Francis’ best friends and a male model; both qualifying him to assist with the plan to make Alfred more attractive to Francis.
He was constantly bored so he welcomed Matthew and Alfred into his swanky apartment without batting an eyelash.
“So what can I do for you gentlemen?” Gilbert had asked, looking like an albino sex god as he had neglected to put on a shirt.
“How do you get abs like that?” Alfred exclaimed, distracted from his original purpose.
Matthew had been the one to get back on track (but only after discovering how exactly Gilbert got so ripped). It had been a little frightening how quickly the model’s red eyes had glowed when Matthew had said the word ‘makeover’.
Which is how they ended up watching My Fair Lady. Gilbert had insisted saying that it was essential to the process. Alfred had agreed and Matthew had resigned himself to watching. Mid-way through the movie he was humming along to ‘I Could Have Danced All Night’ and by the end Matthew had joined Gilbert and Al in their shouts of ‘leave the douche’ and ‘you can do better’.
By the time that the credits had rolled Matthew was a firm convert and Gilbert may or may not have been persuaded to give him an illegally burned copy but that was neither here nor there.
More to the point Gilbert had suggested they go shopping. “Eliza couldn’t have gotten anywhere without her banging wardrobe,” he said wisely.
Gilbert took them to a boutique where the chairs looked too expensive to sit on. “Um Gilbert, you do know that I’m a student right?” Alfred asked. “I can’t even afford the buttons here.”
Gilbert brushed him off. “Don’t worry about it. I’m buying.”
“I’m not sure…” Matthew said but stopped when Gilbert gave him a fierce glare that combined with his red eyes made him look a little like a demon. Gilbert was very serious when it came to makeovers.
So they had let him buy Alfred a few suits…and a bunch of shirts…and some shoes…and some ties…and some sweaters …some pants…and finally a new pair of glasses. The total had excelled what Matthew made in a year. Gilbert hadn’t even flinched upon seeing the bill.
Gilbert was a bit of a mystery. His modeling career was certainly lucrative but even that salary couldn’t allow him to purchase a new TV every month (he had a habit of tossing his plasma screen TVs out the nearest window when wasted) and buy vintage Bentley’s like other people bought socks. Matthew had asked Francis about it once and had received only a shrug in return. Some people thought maybe he had stolen the money, some thought he had won it gambling, and kinder people thought maybe he had inherited. Either way, Gilbert wasn’t telling.
“You are gonna look so freaking hot!” he enthused as he loaded bags into his favorite cherry red car.
“So who are you trying to bang anyway?” Gilbert had refrained from asking beforehand so as not to scare away his new dress-up toys.
Both twins flushed and stuttered causing him to cackle. “Fine, don’t tell me. I’ll find out anyways cause there’s no way these clothes are gonna be a failure. So what’s next on the makeover agenda?”
“I need to become cultured,” said Alfred in a childish tone like the word cultured was one that he had heard grown-ups use but didn’t really understand what it meant.
“And what about you?” Gilbert asked, inclining his head towards Matthew. “Surely you need help with something too. Nobody but my gorgeous self is perfect after all.”
“I need to become noticeable,” Matthew said with a sigh.
I Think I Need a New Heart [4b/?]
anonymous
June 10 2011, 03:03:54 UTC
Gilbert looked extremely speculative. Anyone who knew him well would’ve run in the other direction and probably booked a flight to Burma just to be on the safe side but Matthew and Alfred hadn’t known Gilbert long enough to have the proper fear response to that look.
“I suppose you came to me because you didn’t want that British jerk and Francis to find out about this?”
The nods he received were very emphatic. He wondered briefly if they would have neck damage as a result but quickly moved on to more important things. Francis was out for sophistication training then. Who did he know… ah!
“Come on guys,” he said, hopping into his car. “We have places to be.” -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
“No,” said the man the minute he saw Gilbert standing in his doorway.
“Aw come on Roddy, are you not even going to ask why I’m here?”
“No,” the man said again attempting to slam the door shut. He failed, mainly because Gilbert had stuck his foot in the door.
“I need a favor,” Gilbert said
“The last time I did a favor for you my piano exploded.”
“This favor is less likely to end in destruction. Well maybe. Anyways, this is Alfred.” He gestured over his shoulder at the sunny blonde who waved energetically. “I need you to make him classy.”
“You need me to what?” Roderich asked. He hadn’t invited them inside but at least he had stopped trying to shut the door.
“Make him classy. You know… teach him which forks to use and how to talk about boring shit.”
“Why should I?” Roderich asked, leaning against the doorjamb, gazing at Alfred who was snapping bubblegum. There was potential there but not enough that it wouldn’t be a challenge but of course if he knew Gilbert than he was probably nigh un-teachable.
“I’ll pay,” Gilbert said shrugging. “And anyway it’s for love or something, Roddy. Surely you wouldn’t want to stand in the way of that.”
‘Roddy’ didn’t so eventually he was convinced and Alfred was told to stop by the next day at six a clock sharp. As for Matthew he was told to be at Gilbert’s place at eleven for his lessons in ‘awesomeness’.
“This is going to be great!” Alfred said. “I’m going to be freaking sophisticated like James Bond and Francis is going to be completely turned on by my manners and maybe I’ll be able to convince him to dress like a Bond girl.” His eyes went slightly misty at the thought. Then he tacked on belatedly, seeing Matthew’s expression “And whatever Gilbert teaches you is gonna make Arthur really like you too, I’m sure.
“Yeah,” said Matthew, looking a little green and really not wanting to think about what exactly lessons in ‘awesomeness’ were. “Anyways Al, we need to get going, we’re meeting Arthur and Francis in twenty minutes.”
Alfred’s face lit up like it always did when Francis was mentioned. “Alright! Feli’s brother’s place right?”
No, that wasn’t quite true. The first thing they actually did was visit Gilbert. Gilbert was the world’s biggest asshole, a title he took supreme pride in. He was also one of Francis’ best friends and a male model; both qualifying him to assist with the plan to make Alfred more attractive to Francis.
He was constantly bored so he welcomed Matthew and Alfred into his swanky apartment without batting an eyelash.
“So what can I do for you gentlemen?” Gilbert had asked, looking like an albino sex god as he had neglected to put on a shirt.
“How do you get abs like that?” Alfred exclaimed, distracted from his original purpose.
Matthew had been the one to get back on track (but only after discovering how exactly Gilbert got so ripped). It had been a little frightening how quickly the model’s red eyes had glowed when Matthew had said the word ‘makeover’.
Which is how they ended up watching My Fair Lady. Gilbert had insisted saying that it was essential to the process. Alfred had agreed and Matthew had resigned himself to watching. Mid-way through the movie he was humming along to ‘I Could Have Danced All Night’ and by the end Matthew had joined Gilbert and Al in their shouts of ‘leave the douche’ and ‘you can do better’.
By the time that the credits had rolled Matthew was a firm convert and Gilbert may or may not have been persuaded to give him an illegally burned copy but that was neither here nor there.
More to the point Gilbert had suggested they go shopping. “Eliza couldn’t have gotten anywhere without her banging wardrobe,” he said wisely.
Gilbert took them to a boutique where the chairs looked too expensive to sit on. “Um Gilbert, you do know that I’m a student right?” Alfred asked. “I can’t even afford the buttons here.”
Gilbert brushed him off. “Don’t worry about it. I’m buying.”
“I’m not sure…” Matthew said but stopped when Gilbert gave him a fierce glare that combined with his red eyes made him look a little like a demon. Gilbert was very serious when it came to makeovers.
So they had let him buy Alfred a few suits…and a bunch of shirts…and some shoes…and some ties…and some sweaters …some pants…and finally a new pair of glasses. The total had excelled what Matthew made in a year. Gilbert hadn’t even flinched upon seeing the bill.
Gilbert was a bit of a mystery. His modeling career was certainly lucrative but even that salary couldn’t allow him to purchase a new TV every month (he had a habit of tossing his plasma screen TVs out the nearest window when wasted) and buy vintage Bentley’s like other people bought socks. Matthew had asked Francis about it once and had received only a shrug in return. Some people thought maybe he had stolen the money, some thought he had won it gambling, and kinder people thought maybe he had inherited. Either way, Gilbert wasn’t telling.
“You are gonna look so freaking hot!” he enthused as he loaded bags into his favorite cherry red car.
“So who are you trying to bang anyway?” Gilbert had refrained from asking beforehand so as not to scare away his new dress-up toys.
Both twins flushed and stuttered causing him to cackle. “Fine, don’t tell me. I’ll find out anyways cause there’s no way these clothes are gonna be a failure. So what’s next on the makeover agenda?”
“I need to become cultured,” said Alfred in a childish tone like the word cultured was one that he had heard grown-ups use but didn’t really understand what it meant.
“And what about you?” Gilbert asked, inclining his head towards Matthew. “Surely you need help with something too. Nobody but my gorgeous self is perfect after all.”
“I need to become noticeable,” Matthew said with a sigh.
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“I suppose you came to me because you didn’t want that British jerk and Francis to find out about this?”
The nods he received were very emphatic. He wondered briefly if they would have neck damage as a result but quickly moved on to more important things. Francis was out for sophistication training then. Who did he know… ah!
“Come on guys,” he said, hopping into his car. “We have places to be.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
“No,” said the man the minute he saw Gilbert standing in his doorway.
“Aw come on Roddy, are you not even going to ask why I’m here?”
“No,” the man said again attempting to slam the door shut. He failed, mainly because Gilbert had stuck his foot in the door.
“I need a favor,” Gilbert said
“The last time I did a favor for you my piano exploded.”
“This favor is less likely to end in destruction. Well maybe. Anyways, this is Alfred.” He gestured over his shoulder at the sunny blonde who waved energetically. “I need you to make him classy.”
“You need me to what?” Roderich asked. He hadn’t invited them inside but at least he had stopped trying to shut the door.
“Make him classy. You know… teach him which forks to use and how to talk about boring shit.”
“Why should I?” Roderich asked, leaning against the doorjamb, gazing at Alfred who was snapping bubblegum. There was potential there but not enough that it wouldn’t be a challenge but of course if he knew Gilbert than he was probably nigh un-teachable.
“I’ll pay,” Gilbert said shrugging. “And anyway it’s for love or something, Roddy. Surely you wouldn’t want to stand in the way of that.”
‘Roddy’ didn’t so eventually he was convinced and Alfred was told to stop by the next day at six a clock sharp. As for Matthew he was told to be at Gilbert’s place at eleven for his lessons in ‘awesomeness’.
“This is going to be great!” Alfred said. “I’m going to be freaking sophisticated like James Bond and Francis is going to be completely turned on by my manners and maybe I’ll be able to convince him to dress like a Bond girl.” His eyes went slightly misty at the thought. Then he tacked on belatedly, seeing Matthew’s expression “And whatever Gilbert teaches you is gonna make Arthur really like you too, I’m sure.
“Yeah,” said Matthew, looking a little green and really not wanting to think about what exactly lessons in ‘awesomeness’ were. “Anyways Al, we need to get going, we’re meeting Arthur and Francis in twenty minutes.”
Alfred’s face lit up like it always did when Francis was mentioned. “Alright! Feli’s brother’s place right?”
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