[Part 14] World War Uke (UKUS v. Gerita) (2/?)
anonymous
April 21 2011, 23:53:19 UTC
"Anyhow, none of this would have happened if YOU," America looked at Germany, "were awesome enough to have Barnes & Noble."
Germany's patience was wearing rather thin by now. "Nein, none of this would have happened if YOU remembered you're NOT IN THE UNITED STATES. And learn to ask for directions, du dummkopf schlampe!"
America hadn't had a clue what he said, but England hissed, "I beg your pardon! If you recall this was all ITALY'S idea in the first place because HE thinks the atmosphere is a BOOK!"
"So did America!"
Meanwhile, America had found a pin, which he pushed to Italy with his foot. The latter dried his tears and picked the lock. Neither noticed the imminent declaration of war.
"All done!"
"Awesome job little guy!" Freed from the chains, America easily kicked open the back of the truck. "Let's go!"
The four left the truck, which crashed into a tree from the force of America's blow. As the nation laughed arrogantly, the other three looked around.
"Scheisse. We're in Switzerland," Germany muttered darkly.
xxx
After running while begging for forgiveness, the four found themselves in France’s house, safe for the time being. Shortly after being tended to, America and Italy went to raid first his kitchen and then his library, still searching for the elusive book. This was all well and good considering England and Germany were still not pleased with each other.
“It’s good you’re all in shape, considering Switzerland’s aim is so excellent,” Canada chirped happily as he bandaged England’s arm.
Under other circumstances at least England and America would have been put-out to see Canada at France’s house, but there were other things to be worried about at the moment. “Never mind the small-talk! Both of you! I demand to know who you consider to be a better boyfriend, America or Italy!”
France looked like a deer caught in headlights. Canada looked incredibly uncomfortable. “I can’t really answer that,” he admitted softly, “After all, if I say America, I’ll never hear the end of it. If I say Italy, I’ll get the world’s biggest noogie.”
“Besides, you’re his brother so you’re biased,” Germany reminded him bitterly.
“And I also am uncomfortable, as both are my little brothers,” France added. “Besides, we all know that Canada is better.”
“There’s only one way to settle this, then,” Germany said imperiously, ignoring that last comment.*
“Indeed! Pistols at dawn!”
“No, not like that! With a competition! We will force them to compete for points throughout a series of obstacles, and whoever wins is the better boyfriend!”
Canada groaned. “That makes no sense. This is going to go poorly.”
“Like a train-wreck. Which is why we have to go along,” France told him. Canada had to admit he agreed.
There came a wail from across the house. “That stupid book isn’t here either!” Italy cried.
* Because it was true, even if only because Canada knew what the atmosphere was.
[Part 14] World War Uke (UKUS v. Gerita) (3/?)
anonymous
April 21 2011, 23:53:54 UTC
Being the consummate host and also hoping to get the “battles” underway, France invited his four guests out to a dinner at the fanciest restaurant in Paris (“It’s got nothing on the Ritz,” England commented with no lack of bitterness) after buying them all nice clothes as well. Canada was a bit ashamed at his boyfriend’s blatant provocation, but he also didn’t stop him.
“I haven’t had a good plate of pasta in so long I’ve almost forgotten what it tastes like,” Italy cooed as he patiently waited for his dinner.
“You had it for breakfast,” Germany reminded him before remembering the scenario. “And by the way, you’re the best chef I’ve ever met. I will gladly go to my grave eating your pasta.”
France sniggered. England was hasty to declare, “Well, America has people to cook for him, what with his vastly superior economy!”
“Oh, ha, that’s a laugh!”
“What do you mean by that!”
“America’s economy being described as anything other than ‘about to crash, burn and die!’”
“Heeeey,” America whined, “That wasn’t very nice, dude. You wouldn’t even HAVE an economy if not for me!”
“Ha! He’s right!”
France covered his heart, shocked that England admitted America was right about anything. Canada realized that this was about to turn into yet another argument about war, so he quickly interjected, “So, who can eat more, Italy or America?”
Re: [Part 14] World War Uke (UKUS v. Gerita) (3/?)
anonymous
April 22 2011, 02:11:54 UTC
Holy shit...no way...NO WAY O: YOU DID IT. Ive been looking for this epic adventure of finding the atmosphere since FOREVER. yes! Your writing style just works so well with this type of humor.
lol I wonder how UK will feel once he realizes that America is just doing it for fun and not because he can't read the atmosphere (this is canon).
Re: [Part 14] World War Uke (UKUS v. Gerita) (3/?)
anonymous
April 23 2011, 22:25:35 UTC
My god! This is so cute and cracktastic! You have all of these characters so down pat, and it makes me feel all kinds a warm and fuzzy. Totally stalking this fill (hides in the bushes)
Re: [Part 14] World War Uke (UKUS v. Gerita) (3/?)
anonymous
April 24 2011, 20:52:11 UTC
Duuuuuude! This is awesome! great awesome amazing job!
But some things I must correct here.
You can't say 'du dummkopf schlampe'. It's like saying 'you Asshole whore'. If you want to say 'stupid whore' you have to say 'dumme Schlampe'. Also 'Scheisse' is spelled with an ß. It's 'Scheiße'....OuO But still, awesome job!
Re: [Part 14] World War Uke (UKUS v. Gerita) (3/?)
anonymous
April 24 2011, 22:10:02 UTC
Thanks ^^
My German is a bit sketchy, but I couldn't resist the urge to have Germany call someone a Schlampe, as it's one of the few insults my German teacher taught us ^^;; And sadly, I don't have that awesome symbol on my keyboard or else I would have used it ^^;;;;; Sigh. Lesson learned, keep Germany speaking English a lesson I didn't have to learn with France since I know exactly 0 French, but, oh well xDD If I ever de-anon, corrections shall be made!
Germany's patience was wearing rather thin by now. "Nein, none of this would have happened if YOU remembered you're NOT IN THE UNITED STATES. And learn to ask for directions, du dummkopf schlampe!"
America hadn't had a clue what he said, but England hissed, "I beg your pardon! If you recall this was all ITALY'S idea in the first place because HE thinks the atmosphere is a BOOK!"
"So did America!"
Meanwhile, America had found a pin, which he pushed to Italy with his foot. The latter dried his tears and picked the lock. Neither noticed the imminent declaration of war.
"All done!"
"Awesome job little guy!" Freed from the chains, America easily kicked open the back of the truck. "Let's go!"
The four left the truck, which crashed into a tree from the force of America's blow. As the nation laughed arrogantly, the other three looked around.
"Scheisse. We're in Switzerland," Germany muttered darkly.
xxx
After running while begging for forgiveness, the four found themselves in France’s house, safe for the time being. Shortly after being tended to, America and Italy went to raid first his kitchen and then his library, still searching for the elusive book. This was all well and good considering England and Germany were still not pleased with each other.
“It’s good you’re all in shape, considering Switzerland’s aim is so excellent,” Canada chirped happily as he bandaged England’s arm.
Under other circumstances at least England and America would have been put-out to see Canada at France’s house, but there were other things to be worried about at the moment. “Never mind the small-talk! Both of you! I demand to know who you consider to be a better boyfriend, America or Italy!”
France looked like a deer caught in headlights. Canada looked incredibly uncomfortable. “I can’t really answer that,” he admitted softly, “After all, if I say America, I’ll never hear the end of it. If I say Italy, I’ll get the world’s biggest noogie.”
“Besides, you’re his brother so you’re biased,” Germany reminded him bitterly.
“And I also am uncomfortable, as both are my little brothers,” France added. “Besides, we all know that Canada is better.”
“There’s only one way to settle this, then,” Germany said imperiously, ignoring that last comment.*
“Indeed! Pistols at dawn!”
“No, not like that! With a competition! We will force them to compete for points throughout a series of obstacles, and whoever wins is the better boyfriend!”
Canada groaned. “That makes no sense. This is going to go poorly.”
“Like a train-wreck. Which is why we have to go along,” France told him. Canada had to admit he agreed.
There came a wail from across the house. “That stupid book isn’t here either!” Italy cried.
* Because it was true, even if only because Canada knew what the atmosphere was.
Xxx
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“I haven’t had a good plate of pasta in so long I’ve almost forgotten what it tastes like,” Italy cooed as he patiently waited for his dinner.
“You had it for breakfast,” Germany reminded him before remembering the scenario. “And by the way, you’re the best chef I’ve ever met. I will gladly go to my grave eating your pasta.”
France sniggered. England was hasty to declare, “Well, America has people to cook for him, what with his vastly superior economy!”
“Oh, ha, that’s a laugh!”
“What do you mean by that!”
“America’s economy being described as anything other than ‘about to crash, burn and die!’”
“Heeeey,” America whined, “That wasn’t very nice, dude. You wouldn’t even HAVE an economy if not for me!”
“Ha! He’s right!”
France covered his heart, shocked that England admitted America was right about anything. Canada realized that this was about to turn into yet another argument about war, so he quickly interjected, “So, who can eat more, Italy or America?”
And thus was born the first Challenge!
to be continued maybe
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America & Italy are the best dumb/bad-asses evar! Love your England & Germany too!
Please please continue, author!anon! Your writing is just too awesome not to!
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Your writing style just works so well with this type of humor.
lol I wonder how UK will feel once he realizes that America is just doing it for fun and not because he can't read the atmosphere (this is canon).
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I've actually read The Atmosphere before, so if Italy and America keep trying, they just might find it! XD
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I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DEAR ANON!!! ;O; THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANYOUUUU<33333333
I AM ROLLING WITH LAUGHTER THIS IS PERFECT AHHAHAHA oooh Al and Feli are so derp<3 I love them.
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I hope to continue pleasing :D Although I noticed you called them by their human names - is that a preference? I have no problem catering <3
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YOU'RE DOING GREAT WITH THIS PLEASING THING. <3333
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Also, this fill is epic. And I don't even like USUK.
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Can't wait for more, author!anon. :]
And if the contest is "who can eat more?", America wins. Period. XD
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Pff and you started it off by alluding to Machiavelli. You win everything.
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But some things I must correct here.
You can't say 'du dummkopf schlampe'. It's like saying 'you Asshole whore'. If you want to say 'stupid whore' you have to say 'dumme Schlampe'. Also 'Scheisse' is spelled with an ß. It's 'Scheiße'....OuO But still, awesome job!
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My German is a bit sketchy, but I couldn't resist the urge to have Germany call someone a Schlampe, as it's one of the few insults my German teacher taught us ^^;; And sadly, I don't have that awesome symbol on my keyboard or else I would have used it ^^;;;;; Sigh. Lesson learned, keep Germany speaking English a lesson I didn't have to learn with France since I know exactly 0 French, but, oh well xDD If I ever de-anon, corrections shall be made!
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