Catch You, Catch Me (5c/6?)
anonymous
January 26 2011, 18:57:15 UTC
“I don’t need you, perverted bastard,” Romano wheezed. “Anyway, quit distracting me. There was something important I was supposed to… Oh yeah, that damn thief is stealing some necklace from the exhibition hall at nine tonight.”
“El Apasionado Caballero, eh? The detective’s illicit love interest.”
“Sh-shut the hell up… What the hell do you know anyway…”
“I’m French, mon cher. I know love when I see it, and the two of you obviously have it bad for each other. Do you intend to allow someone else to go after your lover tonight while you are out sick? I hear Officer Germany has been itching to take control of this case.”
Romano squeezed his burning eyes shut and pushed his sweaty bangs wearily back from his feverish face. He had never missed one of El Apasionado Caballero’s capers. Was he seriously going to let someone else take over for this one, especially that damn potato bastard of all people? His pride said “hell no”, his aching, bone-tired body said “why not?”, and his heart was leaning ever so slightly toward his pride’s opinion. What kind of detective would he be if he just left this up that macho potato?
“The hell I’m letting that happen. I’ll sleep all day and by the time nine comes, I’ll be able to catch that shitty thief like normal. Tell that potato bastard to go fuck himself.”
“If you’re sure, mon ami,” France said, examining his nails. “Do you want me to come and pick you up tonight? I don’t think it would be wise for you to drive yourself if you’re as sick as you sound.”
Had it been anyone but his best friend that Romano was chasing, France would never have nudged Romano into making his usual appearance tonight when he was clearly very ill. But Spain had been pining for Romano for so long, and France thought perhaps Spain could use Romano’s current state to his advantage in the game of trying to win his heart. He felt a bit guilty about manipulating the detective, but it was in the name of love, which made it ok in his book.
“F…fine,” Romano mumbled.
France winced and held the phone away from his ear when the detective began coughing loudly and painfully.
“Then I shall pick you up at your place at 8:40. Be ready by then.”
“Yeah, yeah… Whatever.”
“Have a good rest, mon ami.”
Romano snapped his cell phone shut. Why was his room so cold? He wanted to go get himself another blanket and maybe some hot coffee, but just stumbling into the bathroom attached to his bedroom to get the thermometer had been such a draining chore that simply thinking of the distance between his room and the kitchen exhausted him.
If only there were someone who cared about him enough to be willing to drop what they were doing and come attend to his every need. Spain’s face drifted across his thoughts. Spain was an idiot, but he was good about following orders and playing fetch; Romano had already experienced his passable service when his leg had been broken. But he couldn’t just call him up and ask him to come over. That would be too awkward. Besides, if Spain loved him as much as he claimed to then he should know instinctively when Romano needed him.
Romano sighed wearily, aggravating his sore, scratchy throat and sending himself into a coughing fit. The thought of calling El Apasionado Caballero also occurred to him briefly, but he had no idea how to contact him and knew that the thief couldn’t risk coming out in broad daylight. Romano pulled his knees up to his chest and closed his eyes. Perhaps he would just call Italy. He could bring over some of that delicious tomato soup from his café.
Romano decided that he would ask his brother just as soon as he could muster the energy to open his eyes and press his speed dial number. He just needed to take a little breather and then he would do it. Mere moments later, Romano had drifted into an uneasy sleep.
Re: Catch You, Catch Me (5d/6?)
anonymous
January 26 2011, 18:58:57 UTC
Romano didn’t know what time it was when that infernal light pierced his eyelids. He moaned and tried to sniffle, but his nose was completely stuffed up and he just ended up coughing hoarsely. Wanting to escape the harsh light, Romano tried to burrow into his sweat-damp blankets, but it seemed that the person who had turned on the lights had other plans for him. To his relief, his unwelcome visitor didn’t pull the blankets away, but he did start to shake him gently.
“Romano,” a man’s voice addressed him softly. “Big Brother is here to pick you up. Wake up or we’re going to be late for our meeting with El Apasionado Caballero.”
“G’ ‘way,” Romano croaked. “’M sleepin’.”
The blankets were peeled away from him, and Romano clamped his eyes shut against the glare. France laid a hand on Romano’s forehead and frowned.
“Maybe we should forget it for tonight,” he muttered, mostly to himself. “Your fever feels pretty serious.”
“…No…” Romano said. “I can’t let that… that stupid… that damn potato… I have to be… If I’m not there, that stupid thief will think… Help me up…”
France couldn’t help smiling slightly. As foul-mouthed and dishonest with his own feelings as Romano was, he sure was cute sometimes. He’d be even cuter if he was mine… Ah, but this love is just too sweet to get in the way of, France thought. You owe me big time, Spain, you lucky bastard.
“Stay in bed and let Big Brother take care of everything,” he ordered. “I’ll see that you still get to keep your meeting with your beloved thief.”
With that, France stood from where he had been seated on the edge of Romano’s bed and made to leave, digging his cell phone out of his pocket as he closed the bedroom door behind him.
“Where are you…? G-get back here, you bastard…”
But it was too late; France was gone. Romano gritted his teeth. If that jerk of a pervert wasn’t going to help him get to the exhibition hall, Romano would just have to get himself there somehow. He thought he could make it if he just took things slow. The first thing he needed to do was put on his uniform.
Romano rolled out of bed and put his feet on the floor. The detective regretted it instantly as his head began to spin ferociously. It was so bad that he almost called it quits right then and there. I can’t give up, Romano told himself stubbornly. What if tonight’s the night he’s going to show me what he looks like under his mask? Knowing that chicken shit bastard, he probably won’t… Even if he does, I bet he’s butt-ugly… Not that that matters since I’m just going to arrest him! Either way, I can’t let that fucking potato dick take over his investigation!
With renewed determination, Romano forced himself unsteadily to his feet.
Catch You, Catch Me (5e/6?)
anonymous
January 26 2011, 19:01:35 UTC
El Apasionado Caballero looked up at the towering exhibition hall before him with a cocksure smile. Things had been busy lately; he’d had a string of stage performances last week that had kept him from this job. It felt good to don the old thieving costume again. And he couldn’t wait to see what kind of trap Romano had waiting for him this time. He hoped it was as sexy as the last one. It’d taken all his willpower not to jump the detective right there in the gallery.
The thief was just about to shoot his grappling hook up to the roof when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Curious, El Apasionado Caballero dug it out. There was a text from France. Change of plans. Don’t bother with the exhibition hall-Romano is waiting for you at his house. Hurry.
This puzzled El Apasionado Caballero. Why would Romano be at this house? He had always seemed so eager to face him and show off his new traps wherever El Apasionado Caballero dictated. Was he tired of their little game of cat and mouse? Would he demand to know his identity tonight once and for all? And why did he need to hurry?
Well, if France said that was what he needed to do, then El Apasionado Caballero would do it. France was his friend, after all, and he trusted him. El Apasionado Caballero slipped his phone back into his pocket and set his course for Romano’s house.
******
It was useless. No matter how he tried, Romano couldn’t stand up again, even if he tried to pull himself up using the wall. He had simply expended all his energy. It was so cold to be only half dressed and without his blankets. Romano had been trying to pull on his uniform as he made his way to the door, but he had still been fumbling with the buttons when his knees had given out on him. His hat was lying on the floor a few inches away and he’d forgotten his pants in his closet.
Romano wondered if he was late. Probably; he felt as though he’d been lying here forever. Would El Apasionado Caballero even bother waiting for him or would he just steal the necklace and not even notice that he was missing? Romano shivered and sneezed several times in quick succession. He needed a tissue but he couldn’t get up and get one. That stupid bastard France had just gone and left him. What was going to happen to him? Would he die in his own house, too weak and sick to get himself the things he needed to survive?
Romano was so busy fretting over the possibility of a really pathetic and embarrassing death that he didn’t even hear the sound of the front door opening and closing. In fact, he didn’t realize that he was no longer alone until warm hands took hold of his shoulders and turned him face-up, simultaneously pulling him closer so that his head rested in the intruder’s lap. Suddenly he found himself looking up into a very familiar-looking half-black, half-white-masked face.
“Romano… are you ok? What happened?” El Apasionado Caballero asked worriedly. He cupped the detective’s cheek gently and gasped at the severity of the heat that radiated from it. “Oh, my poor, sweet little tomato! You’re burning up! Don’t tell me you were going to come and meet me like this?”
Romano wanted to tell him that of course he’d been planning to come and what kind of shoddy detective did he think he was, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything when his throat was hurting so badly. Instead, he just clutched weakly at El Apasionado Caballero’s slacks. The thief scooped him into his arms and stood with him. Romano’s eyes slipped shut in relief, his arms curling hesitantly around El Apasionado Caballero’s warm body. He wasn’t warm enough to keep Romano from shivering, but it was a definite improvement from being on the floor.
“Why don’t we forget about that necklace and get my cute little tomato detective back into bed where he belongs?” El Apasionado Caballero suggested softly, kissing the shell of his ear.
Catch You, Catch Me (5f/6?)
anonymous
January 26 2011, 19:03:55 UTC
Romano would have blushed if his fever hadn’t already made his face scarlet. Once again, El Apasionado Caballero was abandoning a treasure for his sake. What kind of thief cared more about the person who was trying to arrest him than the valuables he was trying to steal? El Apasionado Caballero was an utter failure of a thief if ever Romano had seen one. He intended to tell him that, but he was just so tired. Romano rested his cheek on the thief’s shoulder and sighed shakily.
El Apasionado Caballero carried Romano into his room and lowered him into a chair so that he could change the clammy, sweat-damp blankets on the bed for fresh ones. He was just lifting the pile to take to the laundry room when something small and metallic fell from them with a soft clink. El Apasionado Caballero crouched down to examine the item. It was his tomato-shaped cloak fastener, the one Romano had ripped from his costume a few weeks ago. Did Romano sleep with it? El Apasionado Caballero couldn’t help smiling at the thought.
Once the new sheets were in place, El Apasionado Caballero went to help Romano back into bed. He paused when he realized that the detective was still half-wearing his uniform. That wouldn’t do. He laid Romano on the bed and dug a pair of sweat pants and a sweatshirt out of the closet.
El Apasionado Caballero brought the garments back to Romano who had already dozed off, and swallowed hard, the color rising in his cheeks as he took in the detective’s appearance. He hadn’t really noticed before because he’d been so worried, but Romano was half-naked right now. The only things he was wearing were a pair of boxers and his dressy police jacket which was completely open. If he factored in Romano’s flushed, velvety skin, prone position and the fact that he was asleep, and he was even more irresistible that usual. How easy would it be to take advantage of this situation?
El Apasionado Caballero fantasized about this for a moment until Romano sneezed, jerking him back to reality. He shook his head vigorously as if to clear all the impure thoughts from it. What on earth was wrong with him, thinking of such a thing when his true love was so sick and in need of his help? The only thing he should be taking advantage of right now was this opportunity to earn some points in Romano’s book. Reining in his desires, El Apasionado Caballero dressed Romano carefully and pulled the sheets up to his chin.
Romano’s eyelids fluttered open when El Apasionado Caballero smoothed his hair away from his face for him and his eyes scanned the ceiling dazedly. El Apasionado Caballero took his hand and squeezed it gently. Romano turned his face towards him, then frowned faintly.
“You still here?” he wheezed.
“Of course, my little tomato,” El Apasionado Caballero said with a small smile. “I came to take care of you.”
Romano sighed and closed his eyes again. Somehow, this situation felt wrong and it was making him uneasy. But that didn’t make sense; El Apasionado Caballero was once again showing him that he would turn his nose up at something that would bring him a heap of money in order to be there for him. That should have made him happy. But for some reason, there was only one person’s name resounding in his head, and it wasn’t the one that it should be, logically speaking.
Catch You, Catch Me (5g/6?)
anonymous
January 26 2011, 19:05:15 UTC
“Is there anything you want me to bring you?” El Apasionado Caballero asked.
“S…Sp…” Romano mumbled the rest of the word so quietly that El Apasionado Caballero missed it.
“…Eh? What did you say, Romano?”
“I want… I w-want Spain…”
El Apasionado Caballero could hardly believe what he was hearing. Perhaps his ears were playing tricks on him.
“I want Spain…”
No, he’d said it again, and this time the thief heard him clearly, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Romano was asking for his true identity. He felt as though his heart would burst with happiness.
“You want Spain, huh?” El Apasionado Caballero confirmed, grinning like a loon. “I see… I guess he’s better than me, isn’t he? And a thousand times cooler. And more handsome! Maaan, I don’t stand a chance, do I?”
Romano’s only reply was a deep and painful-sounding cough.
“I’ll go get him, then,” El Apasionado Caballero promised. “Hold on, my little tomato.”
The thief turned, intending to wait until Romano fell asleep again before borrowing a pair of the baggiest clothes Romano owned (the normal sized stuff was a bit too tight and short for him) and changing identities. But then he realized that Romano was mumbling something just as his consciousness began to slip away again.
“Th…thanks…”
El Apasionado Caballero almost swooned (Romano was just sooooo cute when he was being honest for once), but caught himself just in time to preserve his smooth, charming image. Instead, his grin just widened.
Catch You, Catch Me (6a/7)
anonymous
January 29 2011, 04:17:54 UTC
Calling Spain to take care of him turned out to be exactly the right thing to do. He was just like a dog; good at fetch, loyal, and very eager to please. If Romano wanted tomato soup, Spain would gladly whip some up from scratch. If he ran out of tissues, Spain was all too happy to run to the store and get him another box. If his fever made him have bad dreams, Spain was always there to soothe him and hold his hand. Spain would even climb into bed with Romano to hold him and share his body heat when he was having trouble sleeping soundly. It galled the detective to admit it, even to himself, but Spain was a surprisingly competent and attentive caretaker. Sometimes Romano let him steal kisses as a reward for a job tolerably done.
Spain served him faithfully for a good three days, even after his own temperature began to rise when he started to come down with Romano’s flu. Romano was pretty sure Spain would have continued to look after him had he not taken pity on him when he was shivering so badly that he almost spilled the coffee he had brought for Romano. The two of them spent the next day huddled in bed together, and after that point the detective had recovered enough to allow them to switch roles. Romano only gave him the time of day because he was a bit grateful for Spain’s service, not out of any tender feelings toward him.
Meanwhile, the newspapers were in an uproar. Between the failed caper at the art museum (where El Apasionado Caballero had been content to steal Romano rather than the statue he’d been targeting) and the fact that he hadn’t shown up for the job at the exhibition hall (when he had come to take care of Romano instead), the rumor mill was churning out theories like hotcakes. Romano couldn’t help rolling his eyes at some of the theories because they were so ridiculous. Was this really what passed for news these days?
He supposed he could kind of understand why the papers were so interested in El Apasionado Caballero. After all, he was, as some people might say (people who weren’t Romano), tall, dark and handsome, not to mention suave and mysterious. Then again, that was just people making stupid assumptions. No one had ever seen the man’s face; for all they knew, he could be a dog.
In fact, the best picture anyone had ever taken of the thief was too distant and dark to really make out any defining features. Romano was willing to bet no one, not even the other members of the small police force he took with him on the jobs, had seen El Apasionado Caballero in as much detail as he had. Well, Romano could clear up some of the mystery about him; El Apasionado Caballero’s looks were completely unremarkable. He put his paper down with a snort and went to see if Spain was awake for his next dose of medicine.
“Hey, dumb ass,” Romano said as he entered his room. “Time for more medicine. Wake up or I’ll shove the pills up your nose.”
Spain hardly stirred. Annoyed, Romano approached him, intending to flick him in the ear as a punishment for ignoring him, but he stopped when he saw Spain’s face. He was looking a lot better today; the feverish flush in his cheeks was diminishing, he wasn’t sweating, and his shivering was hardly noticeable. His lips were still chapped, though, and he still had to breathe through his mouth to accommodate for his stuffy nose.
Romano knelt slowly at the side of the bed, watching Spain as he slept. He didn’t know why the bastard didn’t just go back to his own house. Romano had much more important things to do than to take care of an idiot like him. How much longer would he have to sacrifice his bed to him? Romano reached out hesitantly and laid a hand on Spain’s forehead, trying to gage the severity of his fever. It was difficult to say; Romano had never been very good at estimating temperatures by touching with his hands. He was much more adept when he used his lips.
Catch You, Catch Me (6b/7)
anonymous
January 29 2011, 04:20:14 UTC
The detective blushed. He wasn’t doing this because he wanted his lips anywhere near stupid Spain. He was doing it because he wanted to know if Spain’s fever was almost gone so he would know when it was ok to kick his ass to the curb. Romano licked his lips nervously and carefully smoothed Spain’s bangs aside. If Spain woke up while he had his lips to his forehead, he would obviously get all the wrong ideas. He’d better get this over with quickly.
Romano leaned in and touched his mouth shyly to Spain’s skin. He was pretty sure there was still a slight fever there, but he was coming at him from kind of an awkward angle so it was difficult to tell. Romano shifted into a more natural position and hesitantly tried again. As he had thought, Spain was still a bit warm, but he thought there was a chance that it could be gone by tomorrow. It was about time, too! The sooner he got this stupid bastard out of his house the better.
Romano pulled away slowly, too preoccupied by the strange things his heart was doing to notice for a moment that Spain had awoken. When those big green eyes blinked dazedly at him, however, Romano jumped so badly that he tipped over gracelessly from his crouching position and landed on his butt. He scuttled away frantically, hitting his back hard against the wall in his desperation to put some distance in between them, his face glowing like the setting sun.
“R-Romano…” Spain croaked in hopeful disbelief. His hand drifted up to touch his forehead where he had felt the timid brush of Romano’s lips.
“Asshole! P-pervert! It’s not what you think!” Romano insisted. “Get that stupid smile off your face, dammit! I was tecking your chemperature! Ch-checking your temperature! So I’d know when I could get your stupid ass out of my fucking house, dammit! It’s not what you think!”
Spain couldn’t help smiling. Romano could give that excuse all he wanted, but he had felt Romano kiss him not once, but twice. And that thoroughly embarrassed reaction he was giving him after being caught only made it more adorable. Romano was looking around frantically for a quick means of escape, but the closest door led to the bathroom. It would have to do.
“L-looking at your dumb face made me have to take a giant shit!” Romano announced, stomping into the bathroom. He snatched the box of pills from the counter, the ones he’d been giving Spain to help with his flu symptoms, and threw them at his face as hard as he could before slamming the door. “Anyway, forget this even happened! It’s all a dream, you bastard!”
Spain couldn’t help laughing quietly as he picked up the pills and pushed two of them out of their plastic and foil casing and into his hand. He couldn’t believe he was actually thinking this, but perhaps he was glad that he had gotten sick.
******
Germany, meanwhile, was feeling distinctly less upbeat about life in general. It had been almost two weeks since he had seen Romano and El Apasionado Caballero together, but he still hadn’t decided what he was going to do about it. The fact that El Apasionado Caballero had failed to show up to his planned caper on the very day that Romano happened to be out sick had only served to strengthen his suspicions.
He had to figure out what to do quickly, preferably before El Apasionado Caballero sent out his next calling card (which, now that he thought about it, always went to Romano: yet another reason to be suspicious of him). So far, he hadn’t mentioned his dilemma to anyone.
The blond officer finally reached Italy’s café and glanced down at his watch. It was now a little bit past 10 PM which meant that the café was closed for the night. Luckily, the light was still on inside, meaning that Italy hadn’t gone home for the night yet. Germany was relieved; no matter how lost or stressed or upset he was, he could always count on smiles, kisses, delicious food and a river of sympathy from his loving boyfriend to lighten his mood at least a little. He knocked on the glass door and waited.
Catch You, Catch Me (6c/7)
anonymous
January 29 2011, 04:22:27 UTC
After a second, Italy poked his head out of the backroom and smiled at the sight of his lover. He bounded over and unlocked the door to let him into the shop. As soon as Germany had crossed the threshold, Italy’s arms were around him in an enthusiastic hug. A small, weary smile tugged at the corner of Germany’s lips as he returned the embrace.
“I was hoping Germany would come see me tonight!” Italy chirped as he nuzzled his face into Germany’s muscular chest. “I was just thinking about you!”
“I’m glad I was able to catch you before you went home,” Germany muttered.
“But even if you didn’t, Germany is always welcome to come over to my house. You could even spend the night if you wanted.”
Germany blushed, but said nothing. Instead, he just stroked Italy’s hair tiredly. Italy looked up at him, his cheerful expression morphing one of concern.
“Germany?” he said quietly. “What’s wrong? You look tired and sad… Did you have a bad day?”
“I don’t know if I would say it was a bad day…” Germany replied slowly. “Things at work have just been strange lately. I have a big decision I have to make, but neither choice is going to be pleasant…”
Italy stood on his tiptoes and kissed his lips softly. “Is it something you can talk to me about? Maybe I can help.”
Germany frowned as he mulled this over. Perhaps he should talk to Italy about this; it concerned his brother after all. Then again, what if he ended up upsetting Italy in addition to himself? It would probably come as a surprise that his brother was fraternizing with a wanted criminal. Was it better not to make Italy think badly of his brother?
“Why don’t I get us some cake and coffee and we can work it out together, ok?” Italy offered.
“I don’t know, Italy…” Germany sighed. “If I tell you, I’m sure you’ll be upset, too. The last thing I want is to see you cry.”
Italy took Germany’s hand and brought it to his cheek, nuzzling into it. “Germany is always strong for me when I need him to be. I’d like to be strong for Germany sometimes, too. That’s what people do when they’re in love, right?”
Germany supposed he could understand where Italy was coming from for once. He stroked Italy’s cheek thoughtfully with his thumb.
“Maybe I’m stronger than Germany thinks,” Italy suggested.
As soon as Italy said that, Germany couldn’t help feeling a bit guilty. Though Italy often acted silly and childish and had the tendency to be a bit of a crybaby, he had shown remarkable strength in other situations. He was an adult and he didn’t need Germany to shelter him from everything. Germany needed to trust in that.
“Why doesn’t Germany sit down over here and I’ll be right back with some molten lava cakes and coffee, ok?” Italy said, ushering Germany over to a booth with a smile.
Germany slid into his seat to wait. Italy returned a few minutes later carrying a tray with two personal-sized chocolate cakes topped with fresh whipped cream and strawberry slices along with two steaming cups of coffee. He laid the treats out in front of them before sliding into the booth beside Germany. He took a spoon and dug into Germany’s cake, letting the thick, warm chocolate sauce dribble out, and brought a bite-sized piece to his lover’s lips. Germany accepted his assistance with a blush.
“I experimented with a new recipe I made up for these cakes,” Italy explained brightly. “Do you like it?”
“Delicious,” Germany hummed, accepting another bite. “The strawberries were a nice touch.”
Italy grinned and kissed Germany’s cheek before digging into his own dessert. “So, let’s talk. I’ll listen as close as I can!”
Germany added cream to his coffee and stirred it uneasily as he tried to decide how to best break the news to Italy. Perhaps it was best if he just came out and said it.
Catch You, Catch Me (6d/7)
anonymous
January 29 2011, 04:24:40 UTC
“There’s a thief that the police are trying to capture right now named El Apasionado Caballero. You remember me telling you about him before?”
“Oh, he’s the really tricky one, right?” Italy recalled. “The one that’s in all the papers, the one Brother is in charge of catching.”
“Yes, him… The truth is… last time he appeared, I… I saw him with your brother…”
“Romano is really looking forward to arresting him, isn’t he? I’m glad he found something at work that he can be excited about! Brother is an agent of justice! It’s so cool!”
“But the thing is, when I saw them together… Romano wasn’t… he wasn’t trying to catch him.” Germany glanced over at Italy, wondering if he was starting to catch on to what he was trying to say.
“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that!” Italy trilled obliviously. “Romano tends to get distracted sometimes, but he gets the job done in the end!”
“That’s not what I mean… When I saw them, El Apasionado Caballero was… well, he k-kissed him, actually, and then he said that he was going to prove his love to him… And Romano didn’t yell at him or punch him or anything. He just… he just said that he’d be waiting.”
Italy’s eyes went wide and Germany let out a little sigh of relief that Italy understood. It felt good to have that off his chest. He just hoped Italy would be able to deal with the bomb he had just dropped on him. Then Italy did something very unexpected: he began to cheer and clap.
“I’m so happy for Romano! He finally found his special someone! Wow, I was really worried about him for a while there! I mean, Brother is a good guy deep down, but he has such a hard time letting people get close to him and being honest about his feelings that I was afraid he’d never let himself fall in love! I better go tell him congratulations!”
“This isn’t something to be happy about!” Germany insisted. “The person your brother has chosen to fall in love with is a criminal! Not only that, but I think he might be helping El Apasionado Caballero commit his crimes! That means that your brother is also a criminal!”
Italy’s smile dropped away as Germany’s words sunk in.
“Are you ok with your brother being with a thief? Are you ok with him being one?”
Italy’s brow furrowed in thought as he scooped some of the chocolate sauce from his cake and stirred it into his coffee. Then he took a long drink from it and set it down with a sigh. Germany cocked his head when Italy took his arm and snuggled into his side. Was he crying?
“You know, Germany, I would still love you if you were a thief.” He looked up at Germany with wide, innocent amber eyes. “You would still love me too, right? If I was one?”
Germany considered this briefly, examining his own feelings. “Yes, I… I suppose I would. But I would certainly be conflicted about it.”
“See? Just because someone makes a bad choice, doesn’t mean you should push them away if you really love them,” Italy said. “Brother might seem like a mean, uncaring person, but he just acts that way to protect himself from getting hurt again. He’s been betrayed by so many people that he’s loved and I think a lot of those times were because of me, even though I didn’t mean to do anything wrong. If he’s found someone that loves him and is willing to work to prove it to him even when he acts so grumpy and rude, I’m going to support him. As long as that person isn’t hurting Romano, I’m going to cheer for them all the way. I want Brother to be happy.”
Catch You, Catch Me (6e/7)
anonymous
January 29 2011, 04:27:23 UTC
“Italy…” Germany didn’t know how to reply to that. It was touching, really. He supposed he shouldn’t have been so surprised by this response. It was just so Italy-like in every way. “But… that still leaves me with the question of what to do. Do I do what I know is right and turn him in? If I do that, his life will be ruined, but the thefts might stop and we’ll be closer to solving the case. Or do I just do nothing, let your brother keep his job and his dignity but let the stealing continue? I just don’t know…”
“Isn’t there a choice that won’t hurt anyone?” Italy asked.
“Like what? Believe me, if I knew of one, I would definitely consider it.”
“Like…” Italy tapped his spoon against his lips in thought. “What if you talked to your boss and asked him to take Romano off the case and ban him from coming to the building where El Apasionado Caballero is supposed to steal? Then Romano wouldn’t be able to help him do bad things anymore, and Germany would have done something to fix the situation so he didn’t have to feel guilty about letting it happen. If El Apasionado Caballero doesn’t have Romano to help him anymore, he might stop stealing!”
“Stop stealing…? Don’t you think you’re being a little naïve?” Germany asked doubtfully.
“Won’t you at least give it a try?” Italy begged. “I don’t want Brother to go to jail!”
Germany sighed. Italy’s idea wasn’t completely ridiculous, and it was certainly the least destructive one he’d heard. Maybe it was worth a shot.
“Hmm… Maybe I could give that a try,” Germany mused.
“Yay! Thank you, Germany! I love you!”
Even though the uneasiness in Germany’s mind wasn’t completely alleviated, he couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at his lips as he accepted Italy’s kiss.
******
Romano gaped at his boss, England, unable to believe his ears. “You’re… you’re taking me off the case?”
“Effective immediately,” England confirmed.
This couldn’t be happening! How could they do this to him?! After all the hard work he had done, after all the progress he had made on this case and they were kicking him out? It didn’t make any sense at all!
“Why?!” he demanded. His fingers tightened around the calling card El Apasionado Caballero had left in the shower for him this morning (when he’d turned on the faucet, it came shooting out with a big puff of smoke). I will be stealing the Scepter of Anubis from the Chiarina City Historical Museum tonight at 9. Love, El Apasionado Caballero. The calling card crumpled in his grip.
“Look, I know you probably have a lot invested in this case emotionally by now, but the number of stolen items is piling up,” England said with a frown. “We can’t allow this to continue. You haven’t produced the results we need, so I have no choice but to assign someone else to the job.”
Romano gritted his teeth, trying to bite back the surge of burning anger. Normally he was afraid of England, but right now he was just too pissed off. “Who?! Who the hell thinks they can do this job better than me?! I’m the one with all the experience in dealing with this bastard! I’m the one who gets the fucking calling cards! You bastards don’t have a fucking snowball’s chance in hell without me!”
“Now look here!” England snapped. “You’re lucky you’re not being sacked after all these failures! I’m taking pity on you and keeping you on the force even though I honestly can’t think of a single bloody reason why I should do so! If you had the ability to catch El Apasionado Caballero, you would have done it already! Now get out of my office before I change my mind! And if I see so much as a loose hair of yours at the crime scene tonight, I really will sack you!”
Catch You, Catch Me (6f/7)
anonymous
January 29 2011, 04:29:17 UTC
Romano stared his boss down for a moment until his eyes began to fill with angry tears. Face flushing, Romano whirled around and stormed out of the office. He couldn’t stand to be in this damn building right now; he decided that he would drop in on his brother’s café and demand enough free sweets so that he could eat himself into oblivion. Normally alcohol would have been preferable, but free things were always better in Romano’s book, especially considering his modest salary. He had just grabbed his coat from his office when he ran headlong into someone.
“Ow, fuck! Watch where I’m going, asshole!” Romano snarled, sniffling and wiping his eyes hurriedly on his sleeve.
“Sorry.” Oh shit, it was that potato bastard. Of all the people he had to run into when he was crying, why did it have to be the one person to whom he was determined not to show any weakness? “Is… everything alright?”
“Mind your own damn business, ass-sniffing potato!” Romano shouted, shoving past him and stomping out the door.
Germany sighed and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he watched the Italian’s retreating back. He must have been told the news. Germany wasn’t sure if he was surprised that Romano had taken it this way. Naturally, he’d expected him to be furious, but the tears were a bit unexpected. Even though he knew he’d done the least damage that he could have done while still kind of doing the right thing, Germany couldn’t help feeling guilty. He hoped Romano wouldn’t do anything stupid.
******
Italy looked up from the cake he was decorating when he heard bell over the door ring. To his surprise, his visitor turned out to be Romano. Italy glanced up at the clock.
“Brother! Welcome!” he greeted cheerfully. “I didn’t expect to see you so early! I thought your lunch break wasn’t until…”
He trailed off when he saw Romano wipe his eyes on his sleeve and heard him curse under his breath. Determined not to draw the attention of the other customers to himself in this pathetic state, Romano made his way quickly but quietly behind the counter, passing by Italy and stepping into the backroom. Italy set down his bag of icing and followed him.
“Brother? Are you ok?” Italy asked softly.
“They… they t-took me off the c-case…!” Romano choked, wiping his eyes alternately on either sleeve. “Th-those f-fucking bastards…! I know I s-screwed up… a lot of times, but…!”
“Romano…” Italy took Romano’s hand and tugged him gently closer. Romano allowed the hug, continuing to rub his eyes. Why wouldn’t the stupid tears just go away? “It’ll be ok.”
“The hell it will!” Romano barked, his voice cracking. “I… I don’t h-have any way to get ah-hold of that s-stupid thief! If I don’t show… what if… wh-what if he thinks I don’t…!”
At that point, Romano became unable to hide his tears anymore. He let his forehead fall onto Italy’s shoulder, hiding his face and biting his lip to muffle the sound as he sobbed. Italy rubbed his back comfortingly, letting him cry into his shirt.
As his most recent words echoed in his head, something suddenly occurred to Romano. How had he been planning to finish that last sentence? “If I don’t show, what if he thinks I don’t care about him?” Did he actually care about El Apasionado Caballero? Surely not, right?
I’m bawling like a fuckwad into Veneciano’s shirt at the thought of never seeing him again. I can tell myself it’s not true all I want, but in the end, I know it’s about more than just catching him. He promised to prove that he loved me and I’m waiting for that proof like a naïve dumbass, and it’s not because I just want to know that it’s possible for someone to actually love me.
Catch You, Catch Me (6g/7)
anonymous
January 29 2011, 04:31:26 UTC
But if he cared about El Apasionado Caballero, where did that leave Spain? Spain, who had never given up on him, even after Romano had ignored him and thrown away his gifts and slammed the door in his face a hundred times. Spain, who had dropped everything earlier in the week to come wait on Romano hand and foot while he had the flu. Spain, from whom he had, ok yeah, stolen kisses yesterday morning, and cuddled together with when they’d both not been feeling well. Spain, whom he had tried so long to force himself to forget but simply couldn’t.
If, by some unlikely chance, he and El Apasionado Caballero hooked up, what would happen to Spain? As much as it galled him to admit it, he abhorred the idea of leaving either one of them behind. Romano’s heart was in turmoil and it only made him sob harder.
“There, there… Don’t cry, Brother,” Italy murmured. “Things will work out somehow. If you two are in love, there’s a chance for a happy ending.”
If Romano hadn’t already been crying, he might have laughed doubtfully at Italy’s optimistic statement. His current situation was more complicated than his brother even knew. Romano’s troubles wouldn’t be fixed simply by a happy ending with El Apasionado Caballero. He wanted to confide in Italy about his uncertainties, but he looked pathetic enough already by crying on his baby brother’s shoulder. How much more pathetic would he look if he also had to ask him for advice? He was the older one, dammit. Italy should have been the one coming to him.
“Look, El Apasionado Caballero comes to your house all the time to leave his calling cards, right?” Italy continued. “So he obviously knows how to get in touch with you. If he’s deeply enough in love with you to be willing to work to prove it, I’m sure he’ll come to check on you when you don’t show up.”
Italy was probably right. That El Apasionado Caballero guy struck him as being almost as stubborn as Spain. He would probably get worried if Romano didn’t show and come looking for him. Then he could tell the thief what had happened and there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings. Hold on a second…Suddenly Romano stopped crying. Italy had said something very interesting just now. He pulled away, sniffling as he dried his eyes at last.
“Hold on… how the hell did you know he said he’d prove that?” he asked
“Eh?” Italy’s expression changed from comforting to “oops…” Something fishy was going on here. “Um, well…”
“You better not have been spying on us that time!” Romano warned. As soon as those words came out of his mouth, he realized how silly they were. What possible motive could Italy have for spying on them? And what would he even have been doing all the way out there by the art museum at night?
“No! No, I didn’t spy on you! I swear!” Italy said frantically.
“Then how did you know? Don’t tell me that damn thief comes and eats here, too?!” That had to be it. Romano could think of no other way Italy could know. After all, only he and El Apasionado Caballero had been there to witness that conversation, and Romano was certain he hadn’t mentioned it to Italy.
“I’m afraid to tell you,” Italy whimpered. “You might try to hit Germany.”
Romano’s eyes went wide as Italy clapped his hands over his mouth in horror.
“You’ve gotta be shitting me!” he yelped. “That potato bastard saw us?! That’s why I’m getting thrown off the fucking case?!”
“Please don’t be mad, Brother!” Italy begged. “Germany spent a long time worrying about how to deal with the situation because he didn’t want to hurt you! He knew that if he told your boss that you and El Apasionado Caballero were working together, you’d be fired and put in jail and your whole life would be ruined! That’s why he didn’t tell your boss about what he saw! He just asked if he could take over the case and to have you taken off of it so you wouldn’t be able to help steal anymore and he wouldn’t feel guilty about not doing anything to stop you! Whaaa, I’ll do anything so please don’t hit him!”
Catch You, Catch Me (6h/7)
anonymous
January 29 2011, 04:33:17 UTC
“Wait… he thinks we’re working together?”
“…Aren’t you?”
“Hell no! What kind of fucked up, corrupt detective do you think I am, anyway?! I never helped him plan it or escape or anything!”
“Oh, I’m so glad! I was afraid my big brother had turned into a thief! …Hey Romano… You’re not going to be mad at Germany, are you? He didn’t do it to be mean, honest!”
Romano sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. Whatever shortcomings Italy had, Romano knew that his brother wasn’t a liar. If he said that Germany had been trying to protect him by doing things this way, as weird a thought as it was, Romano couldn’t help but believe him. “Whatever. That bastard can do what he wants. I don’t care.”
“That doesn’t mean I like him, though!” Romano insisted. “I still hate his fucking guts!”
“How mean!” Italy cried.
“Ah, shit… I better get back to work before that bastard England notices I’m gone,” Romano sighed. “Oi, Veneciano! Give me some free snacks to take with me!”
“Ok…”
Romano waited until Italy was busy putting some treats into a bag for him to take back with him before speaking again. “…Thanks…” for listening to me.
Italy straightened up and smiled at him as he offered him the bag of snacks. “Don’t mention it, Brother! You can come to me any time you have a problem and I’ll do whatever I can to help! That’s what brothers are for, right?”
“Hmph,” Romano grunted, his cheeks going a bit warm.
Italy continued to grin as Romano left the shop. The older brother had tried to hide it, but Italy was pretty sure he’d seen a little smile on his lips.
Re: Catch You, Catch Me (6h/7)
anonymous
February 24 2011, 01:43:16 UTC
Aww, where are all the reviews for this chapter? It's so cute and deserving of many comments! <3 All of it was great, and I can't wait for the last installment, author anon!
“El Apasionado Caballero, eh? The detective’s illicit love interest.”
“Sh-shut the hell up… What the hell do you know anyway…”
“I’m French, mon cher. I know love when I see it, and the two of you obviously have it bad for each other. Do you intend to allow someone else to go after your lover tonight while you are out sick? I hear Officer Germany has been itching to take control of this case.”
Romano squeezed his burning eyes shut and pushed his sweaty bangs wearily back from his feverish face. He had never missed one of El Apasionado Caballero’s capers. Was he seriously going to let someone else take over for this one, especially that damn potato bastard of all people? His pride said “hell no”, his aching, bone-tired body said “why not?”, and his heart was leaning ever so slightly toward his pride’s opinion. What kind of detective would he be if he just left this up that macho potato?
“The hell I’m letting that happen. I’ll sleep all day and by the time nine comes, I’ll be able to catch that shitty thief like normal. Tell that potato bastard to go fuck himself.”
“If you’re sure, mon ami,” France said, examining his nails. “Do you want me to come and pick you up tonight? I don’t think it would be wise for you to drive yourself if you’re as sick as you sound.”
Had it been anyone but his best friend that Romano was chasing, France would never have nudged Romano into making his usual appearance tonight when he was clearly very ill. But Spain had been pining for Romano for so long, and France thought perhaps Spain could use Romano’s current state to his advantage in the game of trying to win his heart. He felt a bit guilty about manipulating the detective, but it was in the name of love, which made it ok in his book.
“F…fine,” Romano mumbled.
France winced and held the phone away from his ear when the detective began coughing loudly and painfully.
“Then I shall pick you up at your place at 8:40. Be ready by then.”
“Yeah, yeah… Whatever.”
“Have a good rest, mon ami.”
Romano snapped his cell phone shut. Why was his room so cold? He wanted to go get himself another blanket and maybe some hot coffee, but just stumbling into the bathroom attached to his bedroom to get the thermometer had been such a draining chore that simply thinking of the distance between his room and the kitchen exhausted him.
If only there were someone who cared about him enough to be willing to drop what they were doing and come attend to his every need. Spain’s face drifted across his thoughts. Spain was an idiot, but he was good about following orders and playing fetch; Romano had already experienced his passable service when his leg had been broken. But he couldn’t just call him up and ask him to come over. That would be too awkward. Besides, if Spain loved him as much as he claimed to then he should know instinctively when Romano needed him.
Romano sighed wearily, aggravating his sore, scratchy throat and sending himself into a coughing fit. The thought of calling El Apasionado Caballero also occurred to him briefly, but he had no idea how to contact him and knew that the thief couldn’t risk coming out in broad daylight. Romano pulled his knees up to his chest and closed his eyes. Perhaps he would just call Italy. He could bring over some of that delicious tomato soup from his café.
Romano decided that he would ask his brother just as soon as he could muster the energy to open his eyes and press his speed dial number. He just needed to take a little breather and then he would do it. Mere moments later, Romano had drifted into an uneasy sleep.
******
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“Romano,” a man’s voice addressed him softly. “Big Brother is here to pick you up. Wake up or we’re going to be late for our meeting with El Apasionado Caballero.”
“G’ ‘way,” Romano croaked. “’M sleepin’.”
The blankets were peeled away from him, and Romano clamped his eyes shut against the glare. France laid a hand on Romano’s forehead and frowned.
“Maybe we should forget it for tonight,” he muttered, mostly to himself. “Your fever feels pretty serious.”
“…No…” Romano said. “I can’t let that… that stupid… that damn potato… I have to be… If I’m not there, that stupid thief will think… Help me up…”
France couldn’t help smiling slightly. As foul-mouthed and dishonest with his own feelings as Romano was, he sure was cute sometimes. He’d be even cuter if he was mine… Ah, but this love is just too sweet to get in the way of, France thought. You owe me big time, Spain, you lucky bastard.
“Stay in bed and let Big Brother take care of everything,” he ordered. “I’ll see that you still get to keep your meeting with your beloved thief.”
With that, France stood from where he had been seated on the edge of Romano’s bed and made to leave, digging his cell phone out of his pocket as he closed the bedroom door behind him.
“Where are you…? G-get back here, you bastard…”
But it was too late; France was gone. Romano gritted his teeth. If that jerk of a pervert wasn’t going to help him get to the exhibition hall, Romano would just have to get himself there somehow. He thought he could make it if he just took things slow. The first thing he needed to do was put on his uniform.
Romano rolled out of bed and put his feet on the floor. The detective regretted it instantly as his head began to spin ferociously. It was so bad that he almost called it quits right then and there. I can’t give up, Romano told himself stubbornly. What if tonight’s the night he’s going to show me what he looks like under his mask? Knowing that chicken shit bastard, he probably won’t… Even if he does, I bet he’s butt-ugly… Not that that matters since I’m just going to arrest him! Either way, I can’t let that fucking potato dick take over his investigation!
With renewed determination, Romano forced himself unsteadily to his feet.
******
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The thief was just about to shoot his grappling hook up to the roof when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Curious, El Apasionado Caballero dug it out. There was a text from France. Change of plans. Don’t bother with the exhibition hall-Romano is waiting for you at his house. Hurry.
This puzzled El Apasionado Caballero. Why would Romano be at this house? He had always seemed so eager to face him and show off his new traps wherever El Apasionado Caballero dictated. Was he tired of their little game of cat and mouse? Would he demand to know his identity tonight once and for all? And why did he need to hurry?
Well, if France said that was what he needed to do, then El Apasionado Caballero would do it. France was his friend, after all, and he trusted him. El Apasionado Caballero slipped his phone back into his pocket and set his course for Romano’s house.
******
It was useless. No matter how he tried, Romano couldn’t stand up again, even if he tried to pull himself up using the wall. He had simply expended all his energy. It was so cold to be only half dressed and without his blankets. Romano had been trying to pull on his uniform as he made his way to the door, but he had still been fumbling with the buttons when his knees had given out on him. His hat was lying on the floor a few inches away and he’d forgotten his pants in his closet.
Romano wondered if he was late. Probably; he felt as though he’d been lying here forever. Would El Apasionado Caballero even bother waiting for him or would he just steal the necklace and not even notice that he was missing? Romano shivered and sneezed several times in quick succession. He needed a tissue but he couldn’t get up and get one. That stupid bastard France had just gone and left him. What was going to happen to him? Would he die in his own house, too weak and sick to get himself the things he needed to survive?
Romano was so busy fretting over the possibility of a really pathetic and embarrassing death that he didn’t even hear the sound of the front door opening and closing. In fact, he didn’t realize that he was no longer alone until warm hands took hold of his shoulders and turned him face-up, simultaneously pulling him closer so that his head rested in the intruder’s lap. Suddenly he found himself looking up into a very familiar-looking half-black, half-white-masked face.
“Romano… are you ok? What happened?” El Apasionado Caballero asked worriedly. He cupped the detective’s cheek gently and gasped at the severity of the heat that radiated from it. “Oh, my poor, sweet little tomato! You’re burning up! Don’t tell me you were going to come and meet me like this?”
Romano wanted to tell him that of course he’d been planning to come and what kind of shoddy detective did he think he was, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything when his throat was hurting so badly. Instead, he just clutched weakly at El Apasionado Caballero’s slacks. The thief scooped him into his arms and stood with him. Romano’s eyes slipped shut in relief, his arms curling hesitantly around El Apasionado Caballero’s warm body. He wasn’t warm enough to keep Romano from shivering, but it was a definite improvement from being on the floor.
“Why don’t we forget about that necklace and get my cute little tomato detective back into bed where he belongs?” El Apasionado Caballero suggested softly, kissing the shell of his ear.
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El Apasionado Caballero carried Romano into his room and lowered him into a chair so that he could change the clammy, sweat-damp blankets on the bed for fresh ones. He was just lifting the pile to take to the laundry room when something small and metallic fell from them with a soft clink. El Apasionado Caballero crouched down to examine the item. It was his tomato-shaped cloak fastener, the one Romano had ripped from his costume a few weeks ago. Did Romano sleep with it? El Apasionado Caballero couldn’t help smiling at the thought.
Once the new sheets were in place, El Apasionado Caballero went to help Romano back into bed. He paused when he realized that the detective was still half-wearing his uniform. That wouldn’t do. He laid Romano on the bed and dug a pair of sweat pants and a sweatshirt out of the closet.
El Apasionado Caballero brought the garments back to Romano who had already dozed off, and swallowed hard, the color rising in his cheeks as he took in the detective’s appearance. He hadn’t really noticed before because he’d been so worried, but Romano was half-naked right now. The only things he was wearing were a pair of boxers and his dressy police jacket which was completely open. If he factored in Romano’s flushed, velvety skin, prone position and the fact that he was asleep, and he was even more irresistible that usual. How easy would it be to take advantage of this situation?
El Apasionado Caballero fantasized about this for a moment until Romano sneezed, jerking him back to reality. He shook his head vigorously as if to clear all the impure thoughts from it. What on earth was wrong with him, thinking of such a thing when his true love was so sick and in need of his help? The only thing he should be taking advantage of right now was this opportunity to earn some points in Romano’s book. Reining in his desires, El Apasionado Caballero dressed Romano carefully and pulled the sheets up to his chin.
Romano’s eyelids fluttered open when El Apasionado Caballero smoothed his hair away from his face for him and his eyes scanned the ceiling dazedly. El Apasionado Caballero took his hand and squeezed it gently. Romano turned his face towards him, then frowned faintly.
“You still here?” he wheezed.
“Of course, my little tomato,” El Apasionado Caballero said with a small smile. “I came to take care of you.”
Romano sighed and closed his eyes again. Somehow, this situation felt wrong and it was making him uneasy. But that didn’t make sense; El Apasionado Caballero was once again showing him that he would turn his nose up at something that would bring him a heap of money in order to be there for him. That should have made him happy. But for some reason, there was only one person’s name resounding in his head, and it wasn’t the one that it should be, logically speaking.
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“S…Sp…” Romano mumbled the rest of the word so quietly that El Apasionado Caballero missed it.
“…Eh? What did you say, Romano?”
“I want… I w-want Spain…”
El Apasionado Caballero could hardly believe what he was hearing. Perhaps his ears were playing tricks on him.
“I want Spain…”
No, he’d said it again, and this time the thief heard him clearly, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Romano was asking for his true identity. He felt as though his heart would burst with happiness.
“You want Spain, huh?” El Apasionado Caballero confirmed, grinning like a loon. “I see… I guess he’s better than me, isn’t he? And a thousand times cooler. And more handsome! Maaan, I don’t stand a chance, do I?”
Romano’s only reply was a deep and painful-sounding cough.
“I’ll go get him, then,” El Apasionado Caballero promised. “Hold on, my little tomato.”
The thief turned, intending to wait until Romano fell asleep again before borrowing a pair of the baggiest clothes Romano owned (the normal sized stuff was a bit too tight and short for him) and changing identities. But then he realized that Romano was mumbling something just as his consciousness began to slip away again.
“Th…thanks…”
El Apasionado Caballero almost swooned (Romano was just sooooo cute when he was being honest for once), but caught himself just in time to preserve his smooth, charming image. Instead, his grin just widened.
“No, little tomato, thank you,” he whispered.
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Spain served him faithfully for a good three days, even after his own temperature began to rise when he started to come down with Romano’s flu. Romano was pretty sure Spain would have continued to look after him had he not taken pity on him when he was shivering so badly that he almost spilled the coffee he had brought for Romano. The two of them spent the next day huddled in bed together, and after that point the detective had recovered enough to allow them to switch roles. Romano only gave him the time of day because he was a bit grateful for Spain’s service, not out of any tender feelings toward him.
Meanwhile, the newspapers were in an uproar. Between the failed caper at the art museum (where El Apasionado Caballero had been content to steal Romano rather than the statue he’d been targeting) and the fact that he hadn’t shown up for the job at the exhibition hall (when he had come to take care of Romano instead), the rumor mill was churning out theories like hotcakes. Romano couldn’t help rolling his eyes at some of the theories because they were so ridiculous. Was this really what passed for news these days?
He supposed he could kind of understand why the papers were so interested in El Apasionado Caballero. After all, he was, as some people might say (people who weren’t Romano), tall, dark and handsome, not to mention suave and mysterious. Then again, that was just people making stupid assumptions. No one had ever seen the man’s face; for all they knew, he could be a dog.
In fact, the best picture anyone had ever taken of the thief was too distant and dark to really make out any defining features. Romano was willing to bet no one, not even the other members of the small police force he took with him on the jobs, had seen El Apasionado Caballero in as much detail as he had. Well, Romano could clear up some of the mystery about him; El Apasionado Caballero’s looks were completely unremarkable. He put his paper down with a snort and went to see if Spain was awake for his next dose of medicine.
“Hey, dumb ass,” Romano said as he entered his room. “Time for more medicine. Wake up or I’ll shove the pills up your nose.”
Spain hardly stirred. Annoyed, Romano approached him, intending to flick him in the ear as a punishment for ignoring him, but he stopped when he saw Spain’s face. He was looking a lot better today; the feverish flush in his cheeks was diminishing, he wasn’t sweating, and his shivering was hardly noticeable. His lips were still chapped, though, and he still had to breathe through his mouth to accommodate for his stuffy nose.
Romano knelt slowly at the side of the bed, watching Spain as he slept. He didn’t know why the bastard didn’t just go back to his own house. Romano had much more important things to do than to take care of an idiot like him. How much longer would he have to sacrifice his bed to him? Romano reached out hesitantly and laid a hand on Spain’s forehead, trying to gage the severity of his fever. It was difficult to say; Romano had never been very good at estimating temperatures by touching with his hands. He was much more adept when he used his lips.
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Romano leaned in and touched his mouth shyly to Spain’s skin. He was pretty sure there was still a slight fever there, but he was coming at him from kind of an awkward angle so it was difficult to tell. Romano shifted into a more natural position and hesitantly tried again. As he had thought, Spain was still a bit warm, but he thought there was a chance that it could be gone by tomorrow. It was about time, too! The sooner he got this stupid bastard out of his house the better.
Romano pulled away slowly, too preoccupied by the strange things his heart was doing to notice for a moment that Spain had awoken. When those big green eyes blinked dazedly at him, however, Romano jumped so badly that he tipped over gracelessly from his crouching position and landed on his butt. He scuttled away frantically, hitting his back hard against the wall in his desperation to put some distance in between them, his face glowing like the setting sun.
“R-Romano…” Spain croaked in hopeful disbelief. His hand drifted up to touch his forehead where he had felt the timid brush of Romano’s lips.
“Asshole! P-pervert! It’s not what you think!” Romano insisted. “Get that stupid smile off your face, dammit! I was tecking your chemperature! Ch-checking your temperature! So I’d know when I could get your stupid ass out of my fucking house, dammit! It’s not what you think!”
Spain couldn’t help smiling. Romano could give that excuse all he wanted, but he had felt Romano kiss him not once, but twice. And that thoroughly embarrassed reaction he was giving him after being caught only made it more adorable. Romano was looking around frantically for a quick means of escape, but the closest door led to the bathroom. It would have to do.
“L-looking at your dumb face made me have to take a giant shit!” Romano announced, stomping into the bathroom. He snatched the box of pills from the counter, the ones he’d been giving Spain to help with his flu symptoms, and threw them at his face as hard as he could before slamming the door. “Anyway, forget this even happened! It’s all a dream, you bastard!”
Spain couldn’t help laughing quietly as he picked up the pills and pushed two of them out of their plastic and foil casing and into his hand. He couldn’t believe he was actually thinking this, but perhaps he was glad that he had gotten sick.
******
Germany, meanwhile, was feeling distinctly less upbeat about life in general. It had been almost two weeks since he had seen Romano and El Apasionado Caballero together, but he still hadn’t decided what he was going to do about it. The fact that El Apasionado Caballero had failed to show up to his planned caper on the very day that Romano happened to be out sick had only served to strengthen his suspicions.
He had to figure out what to do quickly, preferably before El Apasionado Caballero sent out his next calling card (which, now that he thought about it, always went to Romano: yet another reason to be suspicious of him). So far, he hadn’t mentioned his dilemma to anyone.
The blond officer finally reached Italy’s café and glanced down at his watch. It was now a little bit past 10 PM which meant that the café was closed for the night. Luckily, the light was still on inside, meaning that Italy hadn’t gone home for the night yet. Germany was relieved; no matter how lost or stressed or upset he was, he could always count on smiles, kisses, delicious food and a river of sympathy from his loving boyfriend to lighten his mood at least a little. He knocked on the glass door and waited.
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“I was hoping Germany would come see me tonight!” Italy chirped as he nuzzled his face into Germany’s muscular chest. “I was just thinking about you!”
“I’m glad I was able to catch you before you went home,” Germany muttered.
“But even if you didn’t, Germany is always welcome to come over to my house. You could even spend the night if you wanted.”
Germany blushed, but said nothing. Instead, he just stroked Italy’s hair tiredly. Italy looked up at him, his cheerful expression morphing one of concern.
“Germany?” he said quietly. “What’s wrong? You look tired and sad… Did you have a bad day?”
“I don’t know if I would say it was a bad day…” Germany replied slowly. “Things at work have just been strange lately. I have a big decision I have to make, but neither choice is going to be pleasant…”
Italy stood on his tiptoes and kissed his lips softly. “Is it something you can talk to me about? Maybe I can help.”
Germany frowned as he mulled this over. Perhaps he should talk to Italy about this; it concerned his brother after all. Then again, what if he ended up upsetting Italy in addition to himself? It would probably come as a surprise that his brother was fraternizing with a wanted criminal. Was it better not to make Italy think badly of his brother?
“Why don’t I get us some cake and coffee and we can work it out together, ok?” Italy offered.
“I don’t know, Italy…” Germany sighed. “If I tell you, I’m sure you’ll be upset, too. The last thing I want is to see you cry.”
Italy took Germany’s hand and brought it to his cheek, nuzzling into it. “Germany is always strong for me when I need him to be. I’d like to be strong for Germany sometimes, too. That’s what people do when they’re in love, right?”
Germany supposed he could understand where Italy was coming from for once. He stroked Italy’s cheek thoughtfully with his thumb.
“Maybe I’m stronger than Germany thinks,” Italy suggested.
As soon as Italy said that, Germany couldn’t help feeling a bit guilty. Though Italy often acted silly and childish and had the tendency to be a bit of a crybaby, he had shown remarkable strength in other situations. He was an adult and he didn’t need Germany to shelter him from everything. Germany needed to trust in that.
“I’m sorry, you’re… you’re right,” Germany admitted.
“Why doesn’t Germany sit down over here and I’ll be right back with some molten lava cakes and coffee, ok?” Italy said, ushering Germany over to a booth with a smile.
Germany slid into his seat to wait. Italy returned a few minutes later carrying a tray with two personal-sized chocolate cakes topped with fresh whipped cream and strawberry slices along with two steaming cups of coffee. He laid the treats out in front of them before sliding into the booth beside Germany. He took a spoon and dug into Germany’s cake, letting the thick, warm chocolate sauce dribble out, and brought a bite-sized piece to his lover’s lips. Germany accepted his assistance with a blush.
“I experimented with a new recipe I made up for these cakes,” Italy explained brightly. “Do you like it?”
“Delicious,” Germany hummed, accepting another bite. “The strawberries were a nice touch.”
Italy grinned and kissed Germany’s cheek before digging into his own dessert. “So, let’s talk. I’ll listen as close as I can!”
Germany added cream to his coffee and stirred it uneasily as he tried to decide how to best break the news to Italy. Perhaps it was best if he just came out and said it.
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“Oh, he’s the really tricky one, right?” Italy recalled. “The one that’s in all the papers, the one Brother is in charge of catching.”
“Yes, him… The truth is… last time he appeared, I… I saw him with your brother…”
“Romano is really looking forward to arresting him, isn’t he? I’m glad he found something at work that he can be excited about! Brother is an agent of justice! It’s so cool!”
“But the thing is, when I saw them together… Romano wasn’t… he wasn’t trying to catch him.” Germany glanced over at Italy, wondering if he was starting to catch on to what he was trying to say.
“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that!” Italy trilled obliviously. “Romano tends to get distracted sometimes, but he gets the job done in the end!”
“That’s not what I mean… When I saw them, El Apasionado Caballero was… well, he k-kissed him, actually, and then he said that he was going to prove his love to him… And Romano didn’t yell at him or punch him or anything. He just… he just said that he’d be waiting.”
Italy’s eyes went wide and Germany let out a little sigh of relief that Italy understood. It felt good to have that off his chest. He just hoped Italy would be able to deal with the bomb he had just dropped on him. Then Italy did something very unexpected: he began to cheer and clap.
“I’m so happy for Romano! He finally found his special someone! Wow, I was really worried about him for a while there! I mean, Brother is a good guy deep down, but he has such a hard time letting people get close to him and being honest about his feelings that I was afraid he’d never let himself fall in love! I better go tell him congratulations!”
“This isn’t something to be happy about!” Germany insisted. “The person your brother has chosen to fall in love with is a criminal! Not only that, but I think he might be helping El Apasionado Caballero commit his crimes! That means that your brother is also a criminal!”
Italy’s smile dropped away as Germany’s words sunk in.
“Are you ok with your brother being with a thief? Are you ok with him being one?”
Italy’s brow furrowed in thought as he scooped some of the chocolate sauce from his cake and stirred it into his coffee. Then he took a long drink from it and set it down with a sigh. Germany cocked his head when Italy took his arm and snuggled into his side. Was he crying?
“You know, Germany, I would still love you if you were a thief.” He looked up at Germany with wide, innocent amber eyes. “You would still love me too, right? If I was one?”
Germany considered this briefly, examining his own feelings. “Yes, I… I suppose I would. But I would certainly be conflicted about it.”
“See? Just because someone makes a bad choice, doesn’t mean you should push them away if you really love them,” Italy said. “Brother might seem like a mean, uncaring person, but he just acts that way to protect himself from getting hurt again. He’s been betrayed by so many people that he’s loved and I think a lot of those times were because of me, even though I didn’t mean to do anything wrong. If he’s found someone that loves him and is willing to work to prove it to him even when he acts so grumpy and rude, I’m going to support him. As long as that person isn’t hurting Romano, I’m going to cheer for them all the way. I want Brother to be happy.”
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“Isn’t there a choice that won’t hurt anyone?” Italy asked.
“Like what? Believe me, if I knew of one, I would definitely consider it.”
“Like…” Italy tapped his spoon against his lips in thought. “What if you talked to your boss and asked him to take Romano off the case and ban him from coming to the building where El Apasionado Caballero is supposed to steal? Then Romano wouldn’t be able to help him do bad things anymore, and Germany would have done something to fix the situation so he didn’t have to feel guilty about letting it happen. If El Apasionado Caballero doesn’t have Romano to help him anymore, he might stop stealing!”
“Stop stealing…? Don’t you think you’re being a little naïve?” Germany asked doubtfully.
“Won’t you at least give it a try?” Italy begged. “I don’t want Brother to go to jail!”
Germany sighed. Italy’s idea wasn’t completely ridiculous, and it was certainly the least destructive one he’d heard. Maybe it was worth a shot.
“Hmm… Maybe I could give that a try,” Germany mused.
“Yay! Thank you, Germany! I love you!”
Even though the uneasiness in Germany’s mind wasn’t completely alleviated, he couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at his lips as he accepted Italy’s kiss.
******
Romano gaped at his boss, England, unable to believe his ears.
“You’re… you’re taking me off the case?”
“Effective immediately,” England confirmed.
This couldn’t be happening! How could they do this to him?! After all the hard work he had done, after all the progress he had made on this case and they were kicking him out? It didn’t make any sense at all!
“Why?!” he demanded. His fingers tightened around the calling card El Apasionado Caballero had left in the shower for him this morning (when he’d turned on the faucet, it came shooting out with a big puff of smoke). I will be stealing the Scepter of Anubis from the Chiarina City Historical Museum tonight at 9. Love, El Apasionado Caballero. The calling card crumpled in his grip.
“Look, I know you probably have a lot invested in this case emotionally by now, but the number of stolen items is piling up,” England said with a frown. “We can’t allow this to continue. You haven’t produced the results we need, so I have no choice but to assign someone else to the job.”
Romano gritted his teeth, trying to bite back the surge of burning anger. Normally he was afraid of England, but right now he was just too pissed off. “Who?! Who the hell thinks they can do this job better than me?! I’m the one with all the experience in dealing with this bastard! I’m the one who gets the fucking calling cards! You bastards don’t have a fucking snowball’s chance in hell without me!”
“Now look here!” England snapped. “You’re lucky you’re not being sacked after all these failures! I’m taking pity on you and keeping you on the force even though I honestly can’t think of a single bloody reason why I should do so! If you had the ability to catch El Apasionado Caballero, you would have done it already! Now get out of my office before I change my mind! And if I see so much as a loose hair of yours at the crime scene tonight, I really will sack you!”
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“Ow, fuck! Watch where I’m going, asshole!” Romano snarled, sniffling and wiping his eyes hurriedly on his sleeve.
“Sorry.” Oh shit, it was that potato bastard. Of all the people he had to run into when he was crying, why did it have to be the one person to whom he was determined not to show any weakness? “Is… everything alright?”
“Mind your own damn business, ass-sniffing potato!” Romano shouted, shoving past him and stomping out the door.
Germany sighed and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he watched the Italian’s retreating back. He must have been told the news. Germany wasn’t sure if he was surprised that Romano had taken it this way. Naturally, he’d expected him to be furious, but the tears were a bit unexpected. Even though he knew he’d done the least damage that he could have done while still kind of doing the right thing, Germany couldn’t help feeling guilty. He hoped Romano wouldn’t do anything stupid.
******
Italy looked up from the cake he was decorating when he heard bell over the door ring. To his surprise, his visitor turned out to be Romano. Italy glanced up at the clock.
“Brother! Welcome!” he greeted cheerfully. “I didn’t expect to see you so early! I thought your lunch break wasn’t until…”
He trailed off when he saw Romano wipe his eyes on his sleeve and heard him curse under his breath. Determined not to draw the attention of the other customers to himself in this pathetic state, Romano made his way quickly but quietly behind the counter, passing by Italy and stepping into the backroom. Italy set down his bag of icing and followed him.
“Brother? Are you ok?” Italy asked softly.
“They… they t-took me off the c-case…!” Romano choked, wiping his eyes alternately on either sleeve. “Th-those f-fucking bastards…! I know I s-screwed up… a lot of times, but…!”
“Romano…” Italy took Romano’s hand and tugged him gently closer. Romano allowed the hug, continuing to rub his eyes. Why wouldn’t the stupid tears just go away? “It’ll be ok.”
“The hell it will!” Romano barked, his voice cracking. “I… I don’t h-have any way to get ah-hold of that s-stupid thief! If I don’t show… what if… wh-what if he thinks I don’t…!”
At that point, Romano became unable to hide his tears anymore. He let his forehead fall onto Italy’s shoulder, hiding his face and biting his lip to muffle the sound as he sobbed. Italy rubbed his back comfortingly, letting him cry into his shirt.
As his most recent words echoed in his head, something suddenly occurred to Romano. How had he been planning to finish that last sentence? “If I don’t show, what if he thinks I don’t care about him?” Did he actually care about El Apasionado Caballero? Surely not, right?
I’m bawling like a fuckwad into Veneciano’s shirt at the thought of never seeing him again. I can tell myself it’s not true all I want, but in the end, I know it’s about more than just catching him. He promised to prove that he loved me and I’m waiting for that proof like a naïve dumbass, and it’s not because I just want to know that it’s possible for someone to actually love me.
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If, by some unlikely chance, he and El Apasionado Caballero hooked up, what would happen to Spain? As much as it galled him to admit it, he abhorred the idea of leaving either one of them behind. Romano’s heart was in turmoil and it only made him sob harder.
“There, there… Don’t cry, Brother,” Italy murmured. “Things will work out somehow. If you two are in love, there’s a chance for a happy ending.”
If Romano hadn’t already been crying, he might have laughed doubtfully at Italy’s optimistic statement. His current situation was more complicated than his brother even knew. Romano’s troubles wouldn’t be fixed simply by a happy ending with El Apasionado Caballero. He wanted to confide in Italy about his uncertainties, but he looked pathetic enough already by crying on his baby brother’s shoulder. How much more pathetic would he look if he also had to ask him for advice? He was the older one, dammit. Italy should have been the one coming to him.
“Look, El Apasionado Caballero comes to your house all the time to leave his calling cards, right?” Italy continued. “So he obviously knows how to get in touch with you. If he’s deeply enough in love with you to be willing to work to prove it, I’m sure he’ll come to check on you when you don’t show up.”
Italy was probably right. That El Apasionado Caballero guy struck him as being almost as stubborn as Spain. He would probably get worried if Romano didn’t show and come looking for him. Then he could tell the thief what had happened and there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings. Hold on a second…Suddenly Romano stopped crying. Italy had said something very interesting just now. He pulled away, sniffling as he dried his eyes at last.
“Hold on… how the hell did you know he said he’d prove that?” he asked
“Eh?” Italy’s expression changed from comforting to “oops…” Something fishy was going on here. “Um, well…”
“You better not have been spying on us that time!” Romano warned. As soon as those words came out of his mouth, he realized how silly they were. What possible motive could Italy have for spying on them? And what would he even have been doing all the way out there by the art museum at night?
“No! No, I didn’t spy on you! I swear!” Italy said frantically.
“Then how did you know? Don’t tell me that damn thief comes and eats here, too?!” That had to be it. Romano could think of no other way Italy could know. After all, only he and El Apasionado Caballero had been there to witness that conversation, and Romano was certain he hadn’t mentioned it to Italy.
“I’m afraid to tell you,” Italy whimpered. “You might try to hit Germany.”
Romano’s eyes went wide as Italy clapped his hands over his mouth in horror.
“You’ve gotta be shitting me!” he yelped. “That potato bastard saw us?! That’s why I’m getting thrown off the fucking case?!”
“Please don’t be mad, Brother!” Italy begged. “Germany spent a long time worrying about how to deal with the situation because he didn’t want to hurt you! He knew that if he told your boss that you and El Apasionado Caballero were working together, you’d be fired and put in jail and your whole life would be ruined! That’s why he didn’t tell your boss about what he saw! He just asked if he could take over the case and to have you taken off of it so you wouldn’t be able to help steal anymore and he wouldn’t feel guilty about not doing anything to stop you! Whaaa, I’ll do anything so please don’t hit him!”
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“…Aren’t you?”
“Hell no! What kind of fucked up, corrupt detective do you think I am, anyway?! I never helped him plan it or escape or anything!”
“Oh, I’m so glad! I was afraid my big brother had turned into a thief! …Hey Romano… You’re not going to be mad at Germany, are you? He didn’t do it to be mean, honest!”
Romano sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. Whatever shortcomings Italy had, Romano knew that his brother wasn’t a liar. If he said that Germany had been trying to protect him by doing things this way, as weird a thought as it was, Romano couldn’t help but believe him. “Whatever. That bastard can do what he wants. I don’t care.”
“Thank you, Brother, thank you!” Italy cheered, hugging him.
“That doesn’t mean I like him, though!” Romano insisted. “I still hate his fucking guts!”
“How mean!” Italy cried.
“Ah, shit… I better get back to work before that bastard England notices I’m gone,” Romano sighed. “Oi, Veneciano! Give me some free snacks to take with me!”
“Ok…”
Romano waited until Italy was busy putting some treats into a bag for him to take back with him before speaking again. “…Thanks…” for listening to me.
Italy straightened up and smiled at him as he offered him the bag of snacks. “Don’t mention it, Brother! You can come to me any time you have a problem and I’ll do whatever I can to help! That’s what brothers are for, right?”
“Hmph,” Romano grunted, his cheeks going a bit warm.
Italy continued to grin as Romano left the shop. The older brother had tried to hide it, but Italy was pretty sure he’d seen a little smile on his lips.
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