Catch You, Catch Me (4f/6?)
anonymous
January 24 2011, 21:16:10 UTC
“Romano… on Friday, I, uh… I confessed my love to you,” El Apasionado Caballero began, sounding more nervous than Romano had ever heard him. “You didn’t give me an answer, so I thought maybe you needed some time to think about it. I just… wanted to know if you’d given it any thought yet.”
Romano started and looked up at him in shock. “That… that’s why you dragged my ass all the way out here? Because of that?”
El Apasionado Caballero smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. “Well, yeah. I was really anxious to hear your answer, so I thought I would set up another caper tonight. I wondered if I should give you some more time, but I was too excited to wait any longer.”
Romano blushed and looked down at his bare feet. “That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.”
El Apasionado Caballero shrugged. “People often tell me that I’m recklessly burning with passion. That’s actually part of how I chose my thief name. Pretty cool, don’t you think?”
“Moron,” Romano mumbled half-heartedly. “What the hell kind of reply is that?”
An awkward silence descended upon them. El Apasionado Caballero watched Romano expectantly and Romano shuffled uncomfortably under his gaze. He wanted more than anything to say “Don’t be such a dumb ass; a detective can’t love a thief. And anyway, you piss me off so get out of my face”, but for some reason, the words wouldn’t come out.
“So, um, what do you think?” El Apasionado Caballero asked finally. Romano sighed and scratched the back of his head. “Listen, because I’m only gonna say this once: I don’t believe in love, ok?”
“Eh? But why not?” El Apasionado Caballero gasped, looking heartbroken.
The detective kicked uneasily at some of the dead leaves underfoot. He didn’t want to talk about this, especially not with this bastard of all people. But suddenly, he felt his lips moving and words spilling out and he couldn’t stop himself from replying.
“I used to think it was real, back when I was a naïve kid, but there were some people I thought I didn’t hate and they stabbed me in the back and went for my brother instead. They acted like they wanted me but really they just wanted him. Even… even my parents preferred him. Anyway, the whole love thing is a bunch of bullshit and I don’t even know why I’m telling this to you, because you’d probably do the same thing if you met my brother and your stupid face pisses me off.”
El Apasionado Caballero was silent for a moment, frozen and motionless, and for a split second, Romano wondered if he’d broken him somehow. Then something slid down from beneath the thief’s mask and dripped from his chin, pattering softly on the dirt and leaves. It took Romano a moment to realize that it had been a tear, and that there were a whole lot more where that had come from. The detective was bewildered.
“Wh-what the hell are you crying for?” he demanded.
“Romano… I had no idea, you… That’s… that’s so sad! Poor Romano! Now I understand why you… Oh, Romano! I’m so, so sorry!”
El Apasionado Caballero threw his arms around Romano in a bear hug, squishing the air right out of him.
“Let go, you bastard! I can’t breathe!” Romano choked. “And you’re not making any fucking sense! Why the hell are you apologizing? Quit crying! It’s creepy!”
“Romano, my sweet little tomato,” El Apasionado Caballero sniffled. “I’ve always loved you and only you with all of my heart! There’s never been anyone else since the first time I met you!”
The stupid thing was that Romano could feel his own eyes starting to tear up again. What the hell was wrong with him? He didn’t even care about this idiot at all! And why did his stomach and chest feel so weird?
Catch You, Catch Me (4g/6?)
anonymous
January 24 2011, 21:18:54 UTC
“S-stop crying, dumb ass,” Romano croaked as tears spilled down his cheeks anew. “S-stop it or I’ll k-kick you!”
The thief sniffled and pulled away from him slightly, took a handkerchief from his pocket and gently dried Romano’s tears, then turned his back so he could life his mask and his own.
“What can I do to convince you?” El Apasionado Caballero asked. “I’ll prove my love for you is real! Name anything you want and I’ll do it!”
Romano was silent. “Whether love is real or not, which it’s not, I don’t give a shit about you. Go away,” was what his mind was screaming at him to say. His heart was pounding and his stomach felt sick. He just wanted to go home and pretend none of this had ever happened but his feet wouldn’t move. Perhaps he would just ask for something outrageous. Then El Apasionado Caballero wouldn’t be able to do it, Romano’s disbelief in love would be reaffirmed and he could stop feeling so confused over all of this.
“Fine then,” Romano said finally. “If you love me, then take off your mask and show me who you are.”
El Apasionado Caballero looked startled. “T-take off my mask?”
“Trust is part of love, right?” Romano demanded. “You can’t say you love me unless you’d trust me with something important, like your identity.”
El Apasionado Caballero wanted to take it off; he really did. He just couldn’t. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Romano, it was that he was afraid of what Romano’s reaction would be when he found out who he was. He hadn’t managed to begin to mend Romano’s hard feelings toward his true identity yet, and unmasking himself prematurely could permanently ruin any chance he had with him. Then again, if he refused, Romano would count that as more evidence toward his belief that there was no such thing as love. El Apasionado Caballero knew he needed to tread carefully here.
“Sorry, Romano, but can I have a little more time? I don’t think the time is quite right yet.”
Romano’s face contorted into an expression of hurt covered over by anger, though there was no surprise in his gaze. “I knew you wouldn’t do it. You’re so full of shit.”
“I’m not saying I won’t do it,” El Apasionado Caballero said hurriedly. “There are just a few things I have to take care of first. Then I promise I will reveal my identity to you. Please be patient, ok, my sweet little tomato?”
Catch You, Catch Me (4h/6?)
anonymous
January 24 2011, 21:19:39 UTC
Germany, who had been wandering the area for the last few minutes, trying desperately to locate the thief and his captive, froze when what sounded like a voice reached his ears. He stopped moving, and strained to pick up the noise again.
“Whatever. I don’t care.”
That was Romano’s voice, no doubt about it. It was coming from nearby. Yes, there they were; he could see them now. One figure obviously belonged to Romano, and a closer look confirmed that he was with the thief. Strangely, Romano seemed to be making no effort to get away. Maybe El Apasionado Caballero was using some sort of intimidation tactic to get him to stay put? But Romano’s voice hadn’t sounded frightened…
Germany crept through the crunchy dead leaves as quietly as he could, intending to listen and watch so that he could get a better understanding of what was going on. When he thought he was close enough, the blond officer hid himself behind a tree and peeked around the side, watching them. Then he saw something that shocked him. El Apasionado Caballero leaned forward and kissed Romano on the cheek.
“I love you, Romano,” he said softly. “I’ll prove it to you soon enough.”
Germany’s mouth fell open. This was the last kind of thing he’d expected to walk in on. Did this mean that they were in cahoots? Was it possible that Romano had been allowing the thief to escape all this time on purpose?
Germany could hardly imagine that it could be true. Romano had seemed to genuinely want to catch him, and he didn’t strike Germany as the type of guy who would be very good at putting up a front. Perhaps he was misunderstanding the situation. He needed to see what Romano’s reaction would be before he drew any conclusions. This was his beloved Italy’s brother after all, and even if Romano was hot-tempered and rude, Germany wanted to believe that he wasn’t corrupt.
“Hmph. I’m waiting, you bastard. N-not that I care or anything! It just makes my life a lot less complicated when I know I’m right!”
Germany’s jaw dropped. The Romano he thought he knew would have punched the thief for pulling something like that, but he had sounded almost hopeful just now. Germany rubbed a hand over his face wearily, having a feeling that this moral dilemma was going to keep him awake tonight.
Re: Catch You, Catch Me (4h/6?)
anonymous
January 26 2011, 01:41:47 UTC
You know, I think I'm now deaf from how loudly my inner fangirl was screaming. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to return to incoherently staring at this fill in sheer love.
Catch You, Catch Me (5a/6?)
anonymous
January 26 2011, 18:51:54 UTC
The day after El Apasionado Caballero promised to prove his love to Romano, Spain made his first personal appearance at Romano’s house in months. Romano, who hadn’t been expecting him, had even answered the door when he rang the bell. His eyes went wide when he saw Spain standing there, smiling hopefully, a bottle of Romano’s favorite wine in one hand and his favorite chocolate in the other.
“Romano… I’m so glad you’re home and that you answered the door!” Spain said, sound slightly breathless. “I was kind of worried you’d ignore me again!”
Romano, who wasn’t feeling especially well that day, simply stared at him blankly, his brain struggling to decide on the best course of action. His instinct was to slam the door in his face, but something gave him pause as he took in Spain’s appearance for the first time in so long. He had never really thought about it before, but Spain kind of looked like El Apasionado Caballero. They had the same general build, the hair style and color was similar, even their eyes were almost the same color. Huh, what a weird coincidence.
“…What the hell do you want?” Romano asked grumpily. He’d tried to put more snarl in his voice, but his throat was sore and it had come out just sounding sort of sullen.
“I just wanted to talk to you a little,” Spain said. “Maybe we could go inside?”
“No way, I know what’ll happen if I let you in,” Romano scoffed. “You’ll refuse to leave unless I call the cops on your stupid ass. Actually, I don’t wanna see that fucking idiotic face of yours at all. Looking at it is making me sick.”
Romano began to close the door, but Spain stuck his foot in the way, blocking it. The detective tried to kick him in the shin hard enough so that he would pull it away in pain, but Spain was determined.
“Wait! Please, Romano, just hear me out! I’m not interested in Ita!”
“The fuck you’re not! You said it right in front of me! Did you think I was deaf and wouldn’t hear it?! Now get your damn foot out of the door or I’ll break it!”
“I just said he was cute! That doesn’t mean I prefer him! You’re a thousand times cuter, Romano! A million times cuter! I love you more than anyone else in the world!”
Those final words caused Romano to freeze. Was it his mind playing tricks on him, or were those the exact words El Apasionado Caballero had said to him last night?
“What… was that last thing you just said?” Romano asked.
“Um… I love you more than anyone else in the world?” Spain repeated, looking as though he was kind of afraid he’d said something wrong.
Romano stared at him long and hard. He had heard correctly the first time; those were, without a doubt, the exact same words he had heard from El Apasionado Caballero. What did this mean? Did they know each other? Had Spain followed him on the job and heard him say it, gotten jealous and was now trying to sway him with the enemy’s words? Then again, it wasn’t a particularly unusual turn of phrase. Perhaps it was just another coincidence.
“What, so you think you can just say some nice words and I’ll fall into your arms?” Romano sniffed. “Think again, dumb ass. If you expect me to believe it, I gotta see proof. Not that it’ll make any difference now; I’ve got so many people beating down my door to prove their love for me, I don’t have time for stupid bastards who already ruined their chances. Now go away; I’m busy.”
Catch You, Catch Me (5b/6?)
anonymous
January 26 2011, 18:54:48 UTC
Romano tried to close the door again, but Spain’s foot was still blocking it.
“What kind of proof do you want?” Spain asked. “Please, Romanito. I’ll do anything.”
“How the hell should I know?” Romano griped. “If you really give a shit about me, I’m sure you’ll think of something.”
With that, Romano pushed Spain’s foot out of the way and slammed the door in his face. Spain blinked at the off-white barrier that now separated him and his true love for a moment before it swung open again. Romano snatched the wine and chocolate from him and slammed the door once more. Spain didn’t know what to make of this. He couldn’t say that that confrontation had gone especially well, but he hadn’t really expected it to.
Actually, it had gone better than he had expected. He had at least been able to get a few words in before Romano shut the door on him. Not only that, but Romano had accepted his gifts, hadn’t completely shut him down and though Spain had taken a risk by repeating what he had said last night as El Apasionado Caballero, Romano hadn’t seemed all that suspicious of him. Could he take this to mean that he was victorious? Filled with renewed hope, Spain got back into his car, whistling a happy tune.
******
On the day that Romano received El Apasionado Caballero’s next calling card a week later, he had had every intention of staying home from work. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so awful; perhaps it hadn’t been since he’d broken his leg saving Spain’s sorry ass. The thermometer beeped, signaling that it had gotten a read on his temperature, and he took it out of his mouth to stare at it blearily. Thirty-nine degrees Celsius (approx. 102 degrees Fahrenheit); no wonder he felt like shit.
Romano snatched a tissue from the box on his bedside table and muffled what felt like his hundredth sneeze since he’d awoken half an hour ago. He was no doctor, but he was pretty sure he had the flu. Such was his misery that he could hardly even appreciate the fact that he had a legitimate reason to skip work. Romano coughed and groped around on the table for his cell phone so that he could call himself in sick.
He had just selected the number from speed dial and brought the phone up to his ear when a man’s voice, apparently a recording, began to speak to him. Romano didn’t even realize who that voice belonged to until the man identified himself at the end of the recording.
“I will be stealing the necklace of Queen Alexandria IV from the Chiarina City Exhibition Hall tonight at 9. Love, El Apasionado Caballero.”
Then the phone began to ring, connecting him to the number he had originally dialed. If he’d had the presence of mind, he would have voiced his disgust that it was Officer France who answered (even though he’d called England’s secretary, Seychelles), but as it was, it took Romano a full second or so to even remember why he’d called.
“Hello, is anyone there?” Apparently Romano was breathing heavily into the phone while he tried to gather his thoughts because France’s next line was “If you called for phone sex, you’ll have to call back at my personal number. As much as the idea of doing it at work in front of my boss’s office excites me, I do value my job.”
Romano was so run down that he didn’t even have the energy to snap at France to die in a fire for that disgusting comment.
“It’s Detective Vargas,” he croaked. “I feel like shit so I’m not coming to work today.”
“I’m honestly sorry to hear that,” France said. “It’s a lot more difficult to reconstruct your delectable appearance in that Cupid costume from last week in my mind without you standing in front of me. I suppose I shall just have to jerk off under my desk to something else today.”
“There was something else…” Romano continued, hardly having heard France’s comment over the throbbing of his own head. “What was it…?”
“Eh…? You’re… you’re really going to let that go without cussing me out?” France asked in genuine surprise. “Hey, are you ok? You’re not dying, are you?”
“I might be.” Romano sneezed again and blew his nose. “Ugh, fucking flu…”
“Wait right there; Big Brother will come over and take care of you,” France offered, a sly tone in his voice.
Catch You, Catch Me (5c/6?)
anonymous
January 26 2011, 18:57:15 UTC
“I don’t need you, perverted bastard,” Romano wheezed. “Anyway, quit distracting me. There was something important I was supposed to… Oh yeah, that damn thief is stealing some necklace from the exhibition hall at nine tonight.”
“El Apasionado Caballero, eh? The detective’s illicit love interest.”
“Sh-shut the hell up… What the hell do you know anyway…”
“I’m French, mon cher. I know love when I see it, and the two of you obviously have it bad for each other. Do you intend to allow someone else to go after your lover tonight while you are out sick? I hear Officer Germany has been itching to take control of this case.”
Romano squeezed his burning eyes shut and pushed his sweaty bangs wearily back from his feverish face. He had never missed one of El Apasionado Caballero’s capers. Was he seriously going to let someone else take over for this one, especially that damn potato bastard of all people? His pride said “hell no”, his aching, bone-tired body said “why not?”, and his heart was leaning ever so slightly toward his pride’s opinion. What kind of detective would he be if he just left this up that macho potato?
“The hell I’m letting that happen. I’ll sleep all day and by the time nine comes, I’ll be able to catch that shitty thief like normal. Tell that potato bastard to go fuck himself.”
“If you’re sure, mon ami,” France said, examining his nails. “Do you want me to come and pick you up tonight? I don’t think it would be wise for you to drive yourself if you’re as sick as you sound.”
Had it been anyone but his best friend that Romano was chasing, France would never have nudged Romano into making his usual appearance tonight when he was clearly very ill. But Spain had been pining for Romano for so long, and France thought perhaps Spain could use Romano’s current state to his advantage in the game of trying to win his heart. He felt a bit guilty about manipulating the detective, but it was in the name of love, which made it ok in his book.
“F…fine,” Romano mumbled.
France winced and held the phone away from his ear when the detective began coughing loudly and painfully.
“Then I shall pick you up at your place at 8:40. Be ready by then.”
“Yeah, yeah… Whatever.”
“Have a good rest, mon ami.”
Romano snapped his cell phone shut. Why was his room so cold? He wanted to go get himself another blanket and maybe some hot coffee, but just stumbling into the bathroom attached to his bedroom to get the thermometer had been such a draining chore that simply thinking of the distance between his room and the kitchen exhausted him.
If only there were someone who cared about him enough to be willing to drop what they were doing and come attend to his every need. Spain’s face drifted across his thoughts. Spain was an idiot, but he was good about following orders and playing fetch; Romano had already experienced his passable service when his leg had been broken. But he couldn’t just call him up and ask him to come over. That would be too awkward. Besides, if Spain loved him as much as he claimed to then he should know instinctively when Romano needed him.
Romano sighed wearily, aggravating his sore, scratchy throat and sending himself into a coughing fit. The thought of calling El Apasionado Caballero also occurred to him briefly, but he had no idea how to contact him and knew that the thief couldn’t risk coming out in broad daylight. Romano pulled his knees up to his chest and closed his eyes. Perhaps he would just call Italy. He could bring over some of that delicious tomato soup from his café.
Romano decided that he would ask his brother just as soon as he could muster the energy to open his eyes and press his speed dial number. He just needed to take a little breather and then he would do it. Mere moments later, Romano had drifted into an uneasy sleep.
Re: Catch You, Catch Me (5d/6?)
anonymous
January 26 2011, 18:58:57 UTC
Romano didn’t know what time it was when that infernal light pierced his eyelids. He moaned and tried to sniffle, but his nose was completely stuffed up and he just ended up coughing hoarsely. Wanting to escape the harsh light, Romano tried to burrow into his sweat-damp blankets, but it seemed that the person who had turned on the lights had other plans for him. To his relief, his unwelcome visitor didn’t pull the blankets away, but he did start to shake him gently.
“Romano,” a man’s voice addressed him softly. “Big Brother is here to pick you up. Wake up or we’re going to be late for our meeting with El Apasionado Caballero.”
“G’ ‘way,” Romano croaked. “’M sleepin’.”
The blankets were peeled away from him, and Romano clamped his eyes shut against the glare. France laid a hand on Romano’s forehead and frowned.
“Maybe we should forget it for tonight,” he muttered, mostly to himself. “Your fever feels pretty serious.”
“…No…” Romano said. “I can’t let that… that stupid… that damn potato… I have to be… If I’m not there, that stupid thief will think… Help me up…”
France couldn’t help smiling slightly. As foul-mouthed and dishonest with his own feelings as Romano was, he sure was cute sometimes. He’d be even cuter if he was mine… Ah, but this love is just too sweet to get in the way of, France thought. You owe me big time, Spain, you lucky bastard.
“Stay in bed and let Big Brother take care of everything,” he ordered. “I’ll see that you still get to keep your meeting with your beloved thief.”
With that, France stood from where he had been seated on the edge of Romano’s bed and made to leave, digging his cell phone out of his pocket as he closed the bedroom door behind him.
“Where are you…? G-get back here, you bastard…”
But it was too late; France was gone. Romano gritted his teeth. If that jerk of a pervert wasn’t going to help him get to the exhibition hall, Romano would just have to get himself there somehow. He thought he could make it if he just took things slow. The first thing he needed to do was put on his uniform.
Romano rolled out of bed and put his feet on the floor. The detective regretted it instantly as his head began to spin ferociously. It was so bad that he almost called it quits right then and there. I can’t give up, Romano told himself stubbornly. What if tonight’s the night he’s going to show me what he looks like under his mask? Knowing that chicken shit bastard, he probably won’t… Even if he does, I bet he’s butt-ugly… Not that that matters since I’m just going to arrest him! Either way, I can’t let that fucking potato dick take over his investigation!
With renewed determination, Romano forced himself unsteadily to his feet.
Catch You, Catch Me (5e/6?)
anonymous
January 26 2011, 19:01:35 UTC
El Apasionado Caballero looked up at the towering exhibition hall before him with a cocksure smile. Things had been busy lately; he’d had a string of stage performances last week that had kept him from this job. It felt good to don the old thieving costume again. And he couldn’t wait to see what kind of trap Romano had waiting for him this time. He hoped it was as sexy as the last one. It’d taken all his willpower not to jump the detective right there in the gallery.
The thief was just about to shoot his grappling hook up to the roof when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Curious, El Apasionado Caballero dug it out. There was a text from France. Change of plans. Don’t bother with the exhibition hall-Romano is waiting for you at his house. Hurry.
This puzzled El Apasionado Caballero. Why would Romano be at this house? He had always seemed so eager to face him and show off his new traps wherever El Apasionado Caballero dictated. Was he tired of their little game of cat and mouse? Would he demand to know his identity tonight once and for all? And why did he need to hurry?
Well, if France said that was what he needed to do, then El Apasionado Caballero would do it. France was his friend, after all, and he trusted him. El Apasionado Caballero slipped his phone back into his pocket and set his course for Romano’s house.
******
It was useless. No matter how he tried, Romano couldn’t stand up again, even if he tried to pull himself up using the wall. He had simply expended all his energy. It was so cold to be only half dressed and without his blankets. Romano had been trying to pull on his uniform as he made his way to the door, but he had still been fumbling with the buttons when his knees had given out on him. His hat was lying on the floor a few inches away and he’d forgotten his pants in his closet.
Romano wondered if he was late. Probably; he felt as though he’d been lying here forever. Would El Apasionado Caballero even bother waiting for him or would he just steal the necklace and not even notice that he was missing? Romano shivered and sneezed several times in quick succession. He needed a tissue but he couldn’t get up and get one. That stupid bastard France had just gone and left him. What was going to happen to him? Would he die in his own house, too weak and sick to get himself the things he needed to survive?
Romano was so busy fretting over the possibility of a really pathetic and embarrassing death that he didn’t even hear the sound of the front door opening and closing. In fact, he didn’t realize that he was no longer alone until warm hands took hold of his shoulders and turned him face-up, simultaneously pulling him closer so that his head rested in the intruder’s lap. Suddenly he found himself looking up into a very familiar-looking half-black, half-white-masked face.
“Romano… are you ok? What happened?” El Apasionado Caballero asked worriedly. He cupped the detective’s cheek gently and gasped at the severity of the heat that radiated from it. “Oh, my poor, sweet little tomato! You’re burning up! Don’t tell me you were going to come and meet me like this?”
Romano wanted to tell him that of course he’d been planning to come and what kind of shoddy detective did he think he was, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything when his throat was hurting so badly. Instead, he just clutched weakly at El Apasionado Caballero’s slacks. The thief scooped him into his arms and stood with him. Romano’s eyes slipped shut in relief, his arms curling hesitantly around El Apasionado Caballero’s warm body. He wasn’t warm enough to keep Romano from shivering, but it was a definite improvement from being on the floor.
“Why don’t we forget about that necklace and get my cute little tomato detective back into bed where he belongs?” El Apasionado Caballero suggested softly, kissing the shell of his ear.
Catch You, Catch Me (5f/6?)
anonymous
January 26 2011, 19:03:55 UTC
Romano would have blushed if his fever hadn’t already made his face scarlet. Once again, El Apasionado Caballero was abandoning a treasure for his sake. What kind of thief cared more about the person who was trying to arrest him than the valuables he was trying to steal? El Apasionado Caballero was an utter failure of a thief if ever Romano had seen one. He intended to tell him that, but he was just so tired. Romano rested his cheek on the thief’s shoulder and sighed shakily.
El Apasionado Caballero carried Romano into his room and lowered him into a chair so that he could change the clammy, sweat-damp blankets on the bed for fresh ones. He was just lifting the pile to take to the laundry room when something small and metallic fell from them with a soft clink. El Apasionado Caballero crouched down to examine the item. It was his tomato-shaped cloak fastener, the one Romano had ripped from his costume a few weeks ago. Did Romano sleep with it? El Apasionado Caballero couldn’t help smiling at the thought.
Once the new sheets were in place, El Apasionado Caballero went to help Romano back into bed. He paused when he realized that the detective was still half-wearing his uniform. That wouldn’t do. He laid Romano on the bed and dug a pair of sweat pants and a sweatshirt out of the closet.
El Apasionado Caballero brought the garments back to Romano who had already dozed off, and swallowed hard, the color rising in his cheeks as he took in the detective’s appearance. He hadn’t really noticed before because he’d been so worried, but Romano was half-naked right now. The only things he was wearing were a pair of boxers and his dressy police jacket which was completely open. If he factored in Romano’s flushed, velvety skin, prone position and the fact that he was asleep, and he was even more irresistible that usual. How easy would it be to take advantage of this situation?
El Apasionado Caballero fantasized about this for a moment until Romano sneezed, jerking him back to reality. He shook his head vigorously as if to clear all the impure thoughts from it. What on earth was wrong with him, thinking of such a thing when his true love was so sick and in need of his help? The only thing he should be taking advantage of right now was this opportunity to earn some points in Romano’s book. Reining in his desires, El Apasionado Caballero dressed Romano carefully and pulled the sheets up to his chin.
Romano’s eyelids fluttered open when El Apasionado Caballero smoothed his hair away from his face for him and his eyes scanned the ceiling dazedly. El Apasionado Caballero took his hand and squeezed it gently. Romano turned his face towards him, then frowned faintly.
“You still here?” he wheezed.
“Of course, my little tomato,” El Apasionado Caballero said with a small smile. “I came to take care of you.”
Romano sighed and closed his eyes again. Somehow, this situation felt wrong and it was making him uneasy. But that didn’t make sense; El Apasionado Caballero was once again showing him that he would turn his nose up at something that would bring him a heap of money in order to be there for him. That should have made him happy. But for some reason, there was only one person’s name resounding in his head, and it wasn’t the one that it should be, logically speaking.
Catch You, Catch Me (5g/6?)
anonymous
January 26 2011, 19:05:15 UTC
“Is there anything you want me to bring you?” El Apasionado Caballero asked.
“S…Sp…” Romano mumbled the rest of the word so quietly that El Apasionado Caballero missed it.
“…Eh? What did you say, Romano?”
“I want… I w-want Spain…”
El Apasionado Caballero could hardly believe what he was hearing. Perhaps his ears were playing tricks on him.
“I want Spain…”
No, he’d said it again, and this time the thief heard him clearly, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Romano was asking for his true identity. He felt as though his heart would burst with happiness.
“You want Spain, huh?” El Apasionado Caballero confirmed, grinning like a loon. “I see… I guess he’s better than me, isn’t he? And a thousand times cooler. And more handsome! Maaan, I don’t stand a chance, do I?”
Romano’s only reply was a deep and painful-sounding cough.
“I’ll go get him, then,” El Apasionado Caballero promised. “Hold on, my little tomato.”
The thief turned, intending to wait until Romano fell asleep again before borrowing a pair of the baggiest clothes Romano owned (the normal sized stuff was a bit too tight and short for him) and changing identities. But then he realized that Romano was mumbling something just as his consciousness began to slip away again.
“Th…thanks…”
El Apasionado Caballero almost swooned (Romano was just sooooo cute when he was being honest for once), but caught himself just in time to preserve his smooth, charming image. Instead, his grin just widened.
Catch You, Catch Me (6a/7)
anonymous
January 29 2011, 04:17:54 UTC
Calling Spain to take care of him turned out to be exactly the right thing to do. He was just like a dog; good at fetch, loyal, and very eager to please. If Romano wanted tomato soup, Spain would gladly whip some up from scratch. If he ran out of tissues, Spain was all too happy to run to the store and get him another box. If his fever made him have bad dreams, Spain was always there to soothe him and hold his hand. Spain would even climb into bed with Romano to hold him and share his body heat when he was having trouble sleeping soundly. It galled the detective to admit it, even to himself, but Spain was a surprisingly competent and attentive caretaker. Sometimes Romano let him steal kisses as a reward for a job tolerably done.
Spain served him faithfully for a good three days, even after his own temperature began to rise when he started to come down with Romano’s flu. Romano was pretty sure Spain would have continued to look after him had he not taken pity on him when he was shivering so badly that he almost spilled the coffee he had brought for Romano. The two of them spent the next day huddled in bed together, and after that point the detective had recovered enough to allow them to switch roles. Romano only gave him the time of day because he was a bit grateful for Spain’s service, not out of any tender feelings toward him.
Meanwhile, the newspapers were in an uproar. Between the failed caper at the art museum (where El Apasionado Caballero had been content to steal Romano rather than the statue he’d been targeting) and the fact that he hadn’t shown up for the job at the exhibition hall (when he had come to take care of Romano instead), the rumor mill was churning out theories like hotcakes. Romano couldn’t help rolling his eyes at some of the theories because they were so ridiculous. Was this really what passed for news these days?
He supposed he could kind of understand why the papers were so interested in El Apasionado Caballero. After all, he was, as some people might say (people who weren’t Romano), tall, dark and handsome, not to mention suave and mysterious. Then again, that was just people making stupid assumptions. No one had ever seen the man’s face; for all they knew, he could be a dog.
In fact, the best picture anyone had ever taken of the thief was too distant and dark to really make out any defining features. Romano was willing to bet no one, not even the other members of the small police force he took with him on the jobs, had seen El Apasionado Caballero in as much detail as he had. Well, Romano could clear up some of the mystery about him; El Apasionado Caballero’s looks were completely unremarkable. He put his paper down with a snort and went to see if Spain was awake for his next dose of medicine.
“Hey, dumb ass,” Romano said as he entered his room. “Time for more medicine. Wake up or I’ll shove the pills up your nose.”
Spain hardly stirred. Annoyed, Romano approached him, intending to flick him in the ear as a punishment for ignoring him, but he stopped when he saw Spain’s face. He was looking a lot better today; the feverish flush in his cheeks was diminishing, he wasn’t sweating, and his shivering was hardly noticeable. His lips were still chapped, though, and he still had to breathe through his mouth to accommodate for his stuffy nose.
Romano knelt slowly at the side of the bed, watching Spain as he slept. He didn’t know why the bastard didn’t just go back to his own house. Romano had much more important things to do than to take care of an idiot like him. How much longer would he have to sacrifice his bed to him? Romano reached out hesitantly and laid a hand on Spain’s forehead, trying to gage the severity of his fever. It was difficult to say; Romano had never been very good at estimating temperatures by touching with his hands. He was much more adept when he used his lips.
Catch You, Catch Me (6b/7)
anonymous
January 29 2011, 04:20:14 UTC
The detective blushed. He wasn’t doing this because he wanted his lips anywhere near stupid Spain. He was doing it because he wanted to know if Spain’s fever was almost gone so he would know when it was ok to kick his ass to the curb. Romano licked his lips nervously and carefully smoothed Spain’s bangs aside. If Spain woke up while he had his lips to his forehead, he would obviously get all the wrong ideas. He’d better get this over with quickly.
Romano leaned in and touched his mouth shyly to Spain’s skin. He was pretty sure there was still a slight fever there, but he was coming at him from kind of an awkward angle so it was difficult to tell. Romano shifted into a more natural position and hesitantly tried again. As he had thought, Spain was still a bit warm, but he thought there was a chance that it could be gone by tomorrow. It was about time, too! The sooner he got this stupid bastard out of his house the better.
Romano pulled away slowly, too preoccupied by the strange things his heart was doing to notice for a moment that Spain had awoken. When those big green eyes blinked dazedly at him, however, Romano jumped so badly that he tipped over gracelessly from his crouching position and landed on his butt. He scuttled away frantically, hitting his back hard against the wall in his desperation to put some distance in between them, his face glowing like the setting sun.
“R-Romano…” Spain croaked in hopeful disbelief. His hand drifted up to touch his forehead where he had felt the timid brush of Romano’s lips.
“Asshole! P-pervert! It’s not what you think!” Romano insisted. “Get that stupid smile off your face, dammit! I was tecking your chemperature! Ch-checking your temperature! So I’d know when I could get your stupid ass out of my fucking house, dammit! It’s not what you think!”
Spain couldn’t help smiling. Romano could give that excuse all he wanted, but he had felt Romano kiss him not once, but twice. And that thoroughly embarrassed reaction he was giving him after being caught only made it more adorable. Romano was looking around frantically for a quick means of escape, but the closest door led to the bathroom. It would have to do.
“L-looking at your dumb face made me have to take a giant shit!” Romano announced, stomping into the bathroom. He snatched the box of pills from the counter, the ones he’d been giving Spain to help with his flu symptoms, and threw them at his face as hard as he could before slamming the door. “Anyway, forget this even happened! It’s all a dream, you bastard!”
Spain couldn’t help laughing quietly as he picked up the pills and pushed two of them out of their plastic and foil casing and into his hand. He couldn’t believe he was actually thinking this, but perhaps he was glad that he had gotten sick.
******
Germany, meanwhile, was feeling distinctly less upbeat about life in general. It had been almost two weeks since he had seen Romano and El Apasionado Caballero together, but he still hadn’t decided what he was going to do about it. The fact that El Apasionado Caballero had failed to show up to his planned caper on the very day that Romano happened to be out sick had only served to strengthen his suspicions.
He had to figure out what to do quickly, preferably before El Apasionado Caballero sent out his next calling card (which, now that he thought about it, always went to Romano: yet another reason to be suspicious of him). So far, he hadn’t mentioned his dilemma to anyone.
The blond officer finally reached Italy’s café and glanced down at his watch. It was now a little bit past 10 PM which meant that the café was closed for the night. Luckily, the light was still on inside, meaning that Italy hadn’t gone home for the night yet. Germany was relieved; no matter how lost or stressed or upset he was, he could always count on smiles, kisses, delicious food and a river of sympathy from his loving boyfriend to lighten his mood at least a little. He knocked on the glass door and waited.
Catch You, Catch Me (6c/7)
anonymous
January 29 2011, 04:22:27 UTC
After a second, Italy poked his head out of the backroom and smiled at the sight of his lover. He bounded over and unlocked the door to let him into the shop. As soon as Germany had crossed the threshold, Italy’s arms were around him in an enthusiastic hug. A small, weary smile tugged at the corner of Germany’s lips as he returned the embrace.
“I was hoping Germany would come see me tonight!” Italy chirped as he nuzzled his face into Germany’s muscular chest. “I was just thinking about you!”
“I’m glad I was able to catch you before you went home,” Germany muttered.
“But even if you didn’t, Germany is always welcome to come over to my house. You could even spend the night if you wanted.”
Germany blushed, but said nothing. Instead, he just stroked Italy’s hair tiredly. Italy looked up at him, his cheerful expression morphing one of concern.
“Germany?” he said quietly. “What’s wrong? You look tired and sad… Did you have a bad day?”
“I don’t know if I would say it was a bad day…” Germany replied slowly. “Things at work have just been strange lately. I have a big decision I have to make, but neither choice is going to be pleasant…”
Italy stood on his tiptoes and kissed his lips softly. “Is it something you can talk to me about? Maybe I can help.”
Germany frowned as he mulled this over. Perhaps he should talk to Italy about this; it concerned his brother after all. Then again, what if he ended up upsetting Italy in addition to himself? It would probably come as a surprise that his brother was fraternizing with a wanted criminal. Was it better not to make Italy think badly of his brother?
“Why don’t I get us some cake and coffee and we can work it out together, ok?” Italy offered.
“I don’t know, Italy…” Germany sighed. “If I tell you, I’m sure you’ll be upset, too. The last thing I want is to see you cry.”
Italy took Germany’s hand and brought it to his cheek, nuzzling into it. “Germany is always strong for me when I need him to be. I’d like to be strong for Germany sometimes, too. That’s what people do when they’re in love, right?”
Germany supposed he could understand where Italy was coming from for once. He stroked Italy’s cheek thoughtfully with his thumb.
“Maybe I’m stronger than Germany thinks,” Italy suggested.
As soon as Italy said that, Germany couldn’t help feeling a bit guilty. Though Italy often acted silly and childish and had the tendency to be a bit of a crybaby, he had shown remarkable strength in other situations. He was an adult and he didn’t need Germany to shelter him from everything. Germany needed to trust in that.
“Why doesn’t Germany sit down over here and I’ll be right back with some molten lava cakes and coffee, ok?” Italy said, ushering Germany over to a booth with a smile.
Germany slid into his seat to wait. Italy returned a few minutes later carrying a tray with two personal-sized chocolate cakes topped with fresh whipped cream and strawberry slices along with two steaming cups of coffee. He laid the treats out in front of them before sliding into the booth beside Germany. He took a spoon and dug into Germany’s cake, letting the thick, warm chocolate sauce dribble out, and brought a bite-sized piece to his lover’s lips. Germany accepted his assistance with a blush.
“I experimented with a new recipe I made up for these cakes,” Italy explained brightly. “Do you like it?”
“Delicious,” Germany hummed, accepting another bite. “The strawberries were a nice touch.”
Italy grinned and kissed Germany’s cheek before digging into his own dessert. “So, let’s talk. I’ll listen as close as I can!”
Germany added cream to his coffee and stirred it uneasily as he tried to decide how to best break the news to Italy. Perhaps it was best if he just came out and said it.
Romano started and looked up at him in shock. “That… that’s why you dragged my ass all the way out here? Because of that?”
El Apasionado Caballero smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. “Well, yeah. I was really anxious to hear your answer, so I thought I would set up another caper tonight. I wondered if I should give you some more time, but I was too excited to wait any longer.”
Romano blushed and looked down at his bare feet. “That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.”
El Apasionado Caballero shrugged. “People often tell me that I’m recklessly burning with passion. That’s actually part of how I chose my thief name. Pretty cool, don’t you think?”
“Moron,” Romano mumbled half-heartedly. “What the hell kind of reply is that?”
An awkward silence descended upon them. El Apasionado Caballero watched Romano expectantly and Romano shuffled uncomfortably under his gaze. He wanted more than anything to say “Don’t be such a dumb ass; a detective can’t love a thief. And anyway, you piss me off so get out of my face”, but for some reason, the words wouldn’t come out.
“So, um, what do you think?” El Apasionado Caballero asked finally.
Romano sighed and scratched the back of his head. “Listen, because I’m only gonna say this once: I don’t believe in love, ok?”
“Eh? But why not?” El Apasionado Caballero gasped, looking heartbroken.
The detective kicked uneasily at some of the dead leaves underfoot. He didn’t want to talk about this, especially not with this bastard of all people. But suddenly, he felt his lips moving and words spilling out and he couldn’t stop himself from replying.
“I used to think it was real, back when I was a naïve kid, but there were some people I thought I didn’t hate and they stabbed me in the back and went for my brother instead. They acted like they wanted me but really they just wanted him. Even… even my parents preferred him. Anyway, the whole love thing is a bunch of bullshit and I don’t even know why I’m telling this to you, because you’d probably do the same thing if you met my brother and your stupid face pisses me off.”
El Apasionado Caballero was silent for a moment, frozen and motionless, and for a split second, Romano wondered if he’d broken him somehow. Then something slid down from beneath the thief’s mask and dripped from his chin, pattering softly on the dirt and leaves. It took Romano a moment to realize that it had been a tear, and that there were a whole lot more where that had come from. The detective was bewildered.
“Wh-what the hell are you crying for?” he demanded.
“Romano… I had no idea, you… That’s… that’s so sad! Poor Romano! Now I understand why you… Oh, Romano! I’m so, so sorry!”
El Apasionado Caballero threw his arms around Romano in a bear hug, squishing the air right out of him.
“Let go, you bastard! I can’t breathe!” Romano choked. “And you’re not making any fucking sense! Why the hell are you apologizing? Quit crying! It’s creepy!”
“Romano, my sweet little tomato,” El Apasionado Caballero sniffled. “I’ve always loved you and only you with all of my heart! There’s never been anyone else since the first time I met you!”
The stupid thing was that Romano could feel his own eyes starting to tear up again. What the hell was wrong with him? He didn’t even care about this idiot at all! And why did his stomach and chest feel so weird?
Reply
The thief sniffled and pulled away from him slightly, took a handkerchief from his pocket and gently dried Romano’s tears, then turned his back so he could life his mask and his own.
“What can I do to convince you?” El Apasionado Caballero asked. “I’ll prove my love for you is real! Name anything you want and I’ll do it!”
Romano was silent. “Whether love is real or not, which it’s not, I don’t give a shit about you. Go away,” was what his mind was screaming at him to say. His heart was pounding and his stomach felt sick. He just wanted to go home and pretend none of this had ever happened but his feet wouldn’t move. Perhaps he would just ask for something outrageous. Then El Apasionado Caballero wouldn’t be able to do it, Romano’s disbelief in love would be reaffirmed and he could stop feeling so confused over all of this.
“Fine then,” Romano said finally. “If you love me, then take off your mask and show me who you are.”
El Apasionado Caballero looked startled. “T-take off my mask?”
“Trust is part of love, right?” Romano demanded. “You can’t say you love me unless you’d trust me with something important, like your identity.”
El Apasionado Caballero wanted to take it off; he really did. He just couldn’t. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Romano, it was that he was afraid of what Romano’s reaction would be when he found out who he was. He hadn’t managed to begin to mend Romano’s hard feelings toward his true identity yet, and unmasking himself prematurely could permanently ruin any chance he had with him. Then again, if he refused, Romano would count that as more evidence toward his belief that there was no such thing as love. El Apasionado Caballero knew he needed to tread carefully here.
“Sorry, Romano, but can I have a little more time? I don’t think the time is quite right yet.”
Romano’s face contorted into an expression of hurt covered over by anger, though there was no surprise in his gaze. “I knew you wouldn’t do it. You’re so full of shit.”
“I’m not saying I won’t do it,” El Apasionado Caballero said hurriedly. “There are just a few things I have to take care of first. Then I promise I will reveal my identity to you. Please be patient, ok, my sweet little tomato?”
“Whatever,” Romano mumbled. “I don’t care.”
******
Reply
“Whatever. I don’t care.”
That was Romano’s voice, no doubt about it. It was coming from nearby. Yes, there they were; he could see them now. One figure obviously belonged to Romano, and a closer look confirmed that he was with the thief. Strangely, Romano seemed to be making no effort to get away. Maybe El Apasionado Caballero was using some sort of intimidation tactic to get him to stay put? But Romano’s voice hadn’t sounded frightened…
Germany crept through the crunchy dead leaves as quietly as he could, intending to listen and watch so that he could get a better understanding of what was going on. When he thought he was close enough, the blond officer hid himself behind a tree and peeked around the side, watching them. Then he saw something that shocked him. El Apasionado Caballero leaned forward and kissed Romano on the cheek.
“I love you, Romano,” he said softly. “I’ll prove it to you soon enough.”
Germany’s mouth fell open. This was the last kind of thing he’d expected to walk in on. Did this mean that they were in cahoots? Was it possible that Romano had been allowing the thief to escape all this time on purpose?
Germany could hardly imagine that it could be true. Romano had seemed to genuinely want to catch him, and he didn’t strike Germany as the type of guy who would be very good at putting up a front. Perhaps he was misunderstanding the situation. He needed to see what Romano’s reaction would be before he drew any conclusions. This was his beloved Italy’s brother after all, and even if Romano was hot-tempered and rude, Germany wanted to believe that he wasn’t corrupt.
“Hmph. I’m waiting, you bastard. N-not that I care or anything! It just makes my life a lot less complicated when I know I’m right!”
Germany’s jaw dropped. The Romano he thought he knew would have punched the thief for pulling something like that, but he had sounded almost hopeful just now. Germany rubbed a hand over his face wearily, having a feeling that this moral dilemma was going to keep him awake tonight.
Reply
Reply
“Romano… I’m so glad you’re home and that you answered the door!” Spain said, sound slightly breathless. “I was kind of worried you’d ignore me again!”
Romano, who wasn’t feeling especially well that day, simply stared at him blankly, his brain struggling to decide on the best course of action. His instinct was to slam the door in his face, but something gave him pause as he took in Spain’s appearance for the first time in so long. He had never really thought about it before, but Spain kind of looked like El Apasionado Caballero. They had the same general build, the hair style and color was similar, even their eyes were almost the same color. Huh, what a weird coincidence.
“…What the hell do you want?” Romano asked grumpily. He’d tried to put more snarl in his voice, but his throat was sore and it had come out just sounding sort of sullen.
“I just wanted to talk to you a little,” Spain said. “Maybe we could go inside?”
“No way, I know what’ll happen if I let you in,” Romano scoffed. “You’ll refuse to leave unless I call the cops on your stupid ass. Actually, I don’t wanna see that fucking idiotic face of yours at all. Looking at it is making me sick.”
Romano began to close the door, but Spain stuck his foot in the way, blocking it. The detective tried to kick him in the shin hard enough so that he would pull it away in pain, but Spain was determined.
“Wait! Please, Romano, just hear me out! I’m not interested in Ita!”
“The fuck you’re not! You said it right in front of me! Did you think I was deaf and wouldn’t hear it?! Now get your damn foot out of the door or I’ll break it!”
“I just said he was cute! That doesn’t mean I prefer him! You’re a thousand times cuter, Romano! A million times cuter! I love you more than anyone else in the world!”
Those final words caused Romano to freeze. Was it his mind playing tricks on him, or were those the exact words El Apasionado Caballero had said to him last night?
“What… was that last thing you just said?” Romano asked.
“Um… I love you more than anyone else in the world?” Spain repeated, looking as though he was kind of afraid he’d said something wrong.
Romano stared at him long and hard. He had heard correctly the first time; those were, without a doubt, the exact same words he had heard from El Apasionado Caballero. What did this mean? Did they know each other? Had Spain followed him on the job and heard him say it, gotten jealous and was now trying to sway him with the enemy’s words? Then again, it wasn’t a particularly unusual turn of phrase. Perhaps it was just another coincidence.
“What, so you think you can just say some nice words and I’ll fall into your arms?” Romano sniffed. “Think again, dumb ass. If you expect me to believe it, I gotta see proof. Not that it’ll make any difference now; I’ve got so many people beating down my door to prove their love for me, I don’t have time for stupid bastards who already ruined their chances. Now go away; I’m busy.”
Reply
“What kind of proof do you want?” Spain asked. “Please, Romanito. I’ll do anything.”
“How the hell should I know?” Romano griped. “If you really give a shit about me, I’m sure you’ll think of something.”
With that, Romano pushed Spain’s foot out of the way and slammed the door in his face. Spain blinked at the off-white barrier that now separated him and his true love for a moment before it swung open again. Romano snatched the wine and chocolate from him and slammed the door once more. Spain didn’t know what to make of this. He couldn’t say that that confrontation had gone especially well, but he hadn’t really expected it to.
Actually, it had gone better than he had expected. He had at least been able to get a few words in before Romano shut the door on him. Not only that, but Romano had accepted his gifts, hadn’t completely shut him down and though Spain had taken a risk by repeating what he had said last night as El Apasionado Caballero, Romano hadn’t seemed all that suspicious of him. Could he take this to mean that he was victorious? Filled with renewed hope, Spain got back into his car, whistling a happy tune.
******
On the day that Romano received El Apasionado Caballero’s next calling card a week later, he had had every intention of staying home from work. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so awful; perhaps it hadn’t been since he’d broken his leg saving Spain’s sorry ass. The thermometer beeped, signaling that it had gotten a read on his temperature, and he took it out of his mouth to stare at it blearily. Thirty-nine degrees Celsius (approx. 102 degrees Fahrenheit); no wonder he felt like shit.
Romano snatched a tissue from the box on his bedside table and muffled what felt like his hundredth sneeze since he’d awoken half an hour ago. He was no doctor, but he was pretty sure he had the flu. Such was his misery that he could hardly even appreciate the fact that he had a legitimate reason to skip work. Romano coughed and groped around on the table for his cell phone so that he could call himself in sick.
He had just selected the number from speed dial and brought the phone up to his ear when a man’s voice, apparently a recording, began to speak to him. Romano didn’t even realize who that voice belonged to until the man identified himself at the end of the recording.
“I will be stealing the necklace of Queen Alexandria IV from the Chiarina City Exhibition Hall tonight at 9. Love, El Apasionado Caballero.”
Then the phone began to ring, connecting him to the number he had originally dialed. If he’d had the presence of mind, he would have voiced his disgust that it was Officer France who answered (even though he’d called England’s secretary, Seychelles), but as it was, it took Romano a full second or so to even remember why he’d called.
“Hello, is anyone there?” Apparently Romano was breathing heavily into the phone while he tried to gather his thoughts because France’s next line was “If you called for phone sex, you’ll have to call back at my personal number. As much as the idea of doing it at work in front of my boss’s office excites me, I do value my job.”
Romano was so run down that he didn’t even have the energy to snap at France to die in a fire for that disgusting comment.
“It’s Detective Vargas,” he croaked. “I feel like shit so I’m not coming to work today.”
“I’m honestly sorry to hear that,” France said. “It’s a lot more difficult to reconstruct your delectable appearance in that Cupid costume from last week in my mind without you standing in front of me. I suppose I shall just have to jerk off under my desk to something else today.”
“There was something else…” Romano continued, hardly having heard France’s comment over the throbbing of his own head. “What was it…?”
“Eh…? You’re… you’re really going to let that go without cussing me out?” France asked in genuine surprise. “Hey, are you ok? You’re not dying, are you?”
“I might be.” Romano sneezed again and blew his nose. “Ugh, fucking flu…”
“Wait right there; Big Brother will come over and take care of you,” France offered, a sly tone in his voice.
Reply
“El Apasionado Caballero, eh? The detective’s illicit love interest.”
“Sh-shut the hell up… What the hell do you know anyway…”
“I’m French, mon cher. I know love when I see it, and the two of you obviously have it bad for each other. Do you intend to allow someone else to go after your lover tonight while you are out sick? I hear Officer Germany has been itching to take control of this case.”
Romano squeezed his burning eyes shut and pushed his sweaty bangs wearily back from his feverish face. He had never missed one of El Apasionado Caballero’s capers. Was he seriously going to let someone else take over for this one, especially that damn potato bastard of all people? His pride said “hell no”, his aching, bone-tired body said “why not?”, and his heart was leaning ever so slightly toward his pride’s opinion. What kind of detective would he be if he just left this up that macho potato?
“The hell I’m letting that happen. I’ll sleep all day and by the time nine comes, I’ll be able to catch that shitty thief like normal. Tell that potato bastard to go fuck himself.”
“If you’re sure, mon ami,” France said, examining his nails. “Do you want me to come and pick you up tonight? I don’t think it would be wise for you to drive yourself if you’re as sick as you sound.”
Had it been anyone but his best friend that Romano was chasing, France would never have nudged Romano into making his usual appearance tonight when he was clearly very ill. But Spain had been pining for Romano for so long, and France thought perhaps Spain could use Romano’s current state to his advantage in the game of trying to win his heart. He felt a bit guilty about manipulating the detective, but it was in the name of love, which made it ok in his book.
“F…fine,” Romano mumbled.
France winced and held the phone away from his ear when the detective began coughing loudly and painfully.
“Then I shall pick you up at your place at 8:40. Be ready by then.”
“Yeah, yeah… Whatever.”
“Have a good rest, mon ami.”
Romano snapped his cell phone shut. Why was his room so cold? He wanted to go get himself another blanket and maybe some hot coffee, but just stumbling into the bathroom attached to his bedroom to get the thermometer had been such a draining chore that simply thinking of the distance between his room and the kitchen exhausted him.
If only there were someone who cared about him enough to be willing to drop what they were doing and come attend to his every need. Spain’s face drifted across his thoughts. Spain was an idiot, but he was good about following orders and playing fetch; Romano had already experienced his passable service when his leg had been broken. But he couldn’t just call him up and ask him to come over. That would be too awkward. Besides, if Spain loved him as much as he claimed to then he should know instinctively when Romano needed him.
Romano sighed wearily, aggravating his sore, scratchy throat and sending himself into a coughing fit. The thought of calling El Apasionado Caballero also occurred to him briefly, but he had no idea how to contact him and knew that the thief couldn’t risk coming out in broad daylight. Romano pulled his knees up to his chest and closed his eyes. Perhaps he would just call Italy. He could bring over some of that delicious tomato soup from his café.
Romano decided that he would ask his brother just as soon as he could muster the energy to open his eyes and press his speed dial number. He just needed to take a little breather and then he would do it. Mere moments later, Romano had drifted into an uneasy sleep.
******
Reply
“Romano,” a man’s voice addressed him softly. “Big Brother is here to pick you up. Wake up or we’re going to be late for our meeting with El Apasionado Caballero.”
“G’ ‘way,” Romano croaked. “’M sleepin’.”
The blankets were peeled away from him, and Romano clamped his eyes shut against the glare. France laid a hand on Romano’s forehead and frowned.
“Maybe we should forget it for tonight,” he muttered, mostly to himself. “Your fever feels pretty serious.”
“…No…” Romano said. “I can’t let that… that stupid… that damn potato… I have to be… If I’m not there, that stupid thief will think… Help me up…”
France couldn’t help smiling slightly. As foul-mouthed and dishonest with his own feelings as Romano was, he sure was cute sometimes. He’d be even cuter if he was mine… Ah, but this love is just too sweet to get in the way of, France thought. You owe me big time, Spain, you lucky bastard.
“Stay in bed and let Big Brother take care of everything,” he ordered. “I’ll see that you still get to keep your meeting with your beloved thief.”
With that, France stood from where he had been seated on the edge of Romano’s bed and made to leave, digging his cell phone out of his pocket as he closed the bedroom door behind him.
“Where are you…? G-get back here, you bastard…”
But it was too late; France was gone. Romano gritted his teeth. If that jerk of a pervert wasn’t going to help him get to the exhibition hall, Romano would just have to get himself there somehow. He thought he could make it if he just took things slow. The first thing he needed to do was put on his uniform.
Romano rolled out of bed and put his feet on the floor. The detective regretted it instantly as his head began to spin ferociously. It was so bad that he almost called it quits right then and there. I can’t give up, Romano told himself stubbornly. What if tonight’s the night he’s going to show me what he looks like under his mask? Knowing that chicken shit bastard, he probably won’t… Even if he does, I bet he’s butt-ugly… Not that that matters since I’m just going to arrest him! Either way, I can’t let that fucking potato dick take over his investigation!
With renewed determination, Romano forced himself unsteadily to his feet.
******
Reply
The thief was just about to shoot his grappling hook up to the roof when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Curious, El Apasionado Caballero dug it out. There was a text from France. Change of plans. Don’t bother with the exhibition hall-Romano is waiting for you at his house. Hurry.
This puzzled El Apasionado Caballero. Why would Romano be at this house? He had always seemed so eager to face him and show off his new traps wherever El Apasionado Caballero dictated. Was he tired of their little game of cat and mouse? Would he demand to know his identity tonight once and for all? And why did he need to hurry?
Well, if France said that was what he needed to do, then El Apasionado Caballero would do it. France was his friend, after all, and he trusted him. El Apasionado Caballero slipped his phone back into his pocket and set his course for Romano’s house.
******
It was useless. No matter how he tried, Romano couldn’t stand up again, even if he tried to pull himself up using the wall. He had simply expended all his energy. It was so cold to be only half dressed and without his blankets. Romano had been trying to pull on his uniform as he made his way to the door, but he had still been fumbling with the buttons when his knees had given out on him. His hat was lying on the floor a few inches away and he’d forgotten his pants in his closet.
Romano wondered if he was late. Probably; he felt as though he’d been lying here forever. Would El Apasionado Caballero even bother waiting for him or would he just steal the necklace and not even notice that he was missing? Romano shivered and sneezed several times in quick succession. He needed a tissue but he couldn’t get up and get one. That stupid bastard France had just gone and left him. What was going to happen to him? Would he die in his own house, too weak and sick to get himself the things he needed to survive?
Romano was so busy fretting over the possibility of a really pathetic and embarrassing death that he didn’t even hear the sound of the front door opening and closing. In fact, he didn’t realize that he was no longer alone until warm hands took hold of his shoulders and turned him face-up, simultaneously pulling him closer so that his head rested in the intruder’s lap. Suddenly he found himself looking up into a very familiar-looking half-black, half-white-masked face.
“Romano… are you ok? What happened?” El Apasionado Caballero asked worriedly. He cupped the detective’s cheek gently and gasped at the severity of the heat that radiated from it. “Oh, my poor, sweet little tomato! You’re burning up! Don’t tell me you were going to come and meet me like this?”
Romano wanted to tell him that of course he’d been planning to come and what kind of shoddy detective did he think he was, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything when his throat was hurting so badly. Instead, he just clutched weakly at El Apasionado Caballero’s slacks. The thief scooped him into his arms and stood with him. Romano’s eyes slipped shut in relief, his arms curling hesitantly around El Apasionado Caballero’s warm body. He wasn’t warm enough to keep Romano from shivering, but it was a definite improvement from being on the floor.
“Why don’t we forget about that necklace and get my cute little tomato detective back into bed where he belongs?” El Apasionado Caballero suggested softly, kissing the shell of his ear.
Reply
El Apasionado Caballero carried Romano into his room and lowered him into a chair so that he could change the clammy, sweat-damp blankets on the bed for fresh ones. He was just lifting the pile to take to the laundry room when something small and metallic fell from them with a soft clink. El Apasionado Caballero crouched down to examine the item. It was his tomato-shaped cloak fastener, the one Romano had ripped from his costume a few weeks ago. Did Romano sleep with it? El Apasionado Caballero couldn’t help smiling at the thought.
Once the new sheets were in place, El Apasionado Caballero went to help Romano back into bed. He paused when he realized that the detective was still half-wearing his uniform. That wouldn’t do. He laid Romano on the bed and dug a pair of sweat pants and a sweatshirt out of the closet.
El Apasionado Caballero brought the garments back to Romano who had already dozed off, and swallowed hard, the color rising in his cheeks as he took in the detective’s appearance. He hadn’t really noticed before because he’d been so worried, but Romano was half-naked right now. The only things he was wearing were a pair of boxers and his dressy police jacket which was completely open. If he factored in Romano’s flushed, velvety skin, prone position and the fact that he was asleep, and he was even more irresistible that usual. How easy would it be to take advantage of this situation?
El Apasionado Caballero fantasized about this for a moment until Romano sneezed, jerking him back to reality. He shook his head vigorously as if to clear all the impure thoughts from it. What on earth was wrong with him, thinking of such a thing when his true love was so sick and in need of his help? The only thing he should be taking advantage of right now was this opportunity to earn some points in Romano’s book. Reining in his desires, El Apasionado Caballero dressed Romano carefully and pulled the sheets up to his chin.
Romano’s eyelids fluttered open when El Apasionado Caballero smoothed his hair away from his face for him and his eyes scanned the ceiling dazedly. El Apasionado Caballero took his hand and squeezed it gently. Romano turned his face towards him, then frowned faintly.
“You still here?” he wheezed.
“Of course, my little tomato,” El Apasionado Caballero said with a small smile. “I came to take care of you.”
Romano sighed and closed his eyes again. Somehow, this situation felt wrong and it was making him uneasy. But that didn’t make sense; El Apasionado Caballero was once again showing him that he would turn his nose up at something that would bring him a heap of money in order to be there for him. That should have made him happy. But for some reason, there was only one person’s name resounding in his head, and it wasn’t the one that it should be, logically speaking.
Reply
“S…Sp…” Romano mumbled the rest of the word so quietly that El Apasionado Caballero missed it.
“…Eh? What did you say, Romano?”
“I want… I w-want Spain…”
El Apasionado Caballero could hardly believe what he was hearing. Perhaps his ears were playing tricks on him.
“I want Spain…”
No, he’d said it again, and this time the thief heard him clearly, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Romano was asking for his true identity. He felt as though his heart would burst with happiness.
“You want Spain, huh?” El Apasionado Caballero confirmed, grinning like a loon. “I see… I guess he’s better than me, isn’t he? And a thousand times cooler. And more handsome! Maaan, I don’t stand a chance, do I?”
Romano’s only reply was a deep and painful-sounding cough.
“I’ll go get him, then,” El Apasionado Caballero promised. “Hold on, my little tomato.”
The thief turned, intending to wait until Romano fell asleep again before borrowing a pair of the baggiest clothes Romano owned (the normal sized stuff was a bit too tight and short for him) and changing identities. But then he realized that Romano was mumbling something just as his consciousness began to slip away again.
“Th…thanks…”
El Apasionado Caballero almost swooned (Romano was just sooooo cute when he was being honest for once), but caught himself just in time to preserve his smooth, charming image. Instead, his grin just widened.
“No, little tomato, thank you,” he whispered.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Spain served him faithfully for a good three days, even after his own temperature began to rise when he started to come down with Romano’s flu. Romano was pretty sure Spain would have continued to look after him had he not taken pity on him when he was shivering so badly that he almost spilled the coffee he had brought for Romano. The two of them spent the next day huddled in bed together, and after that point the detective had recovered enough to allow them to switch roles. Romano only gave him the time of day because he was a bit grateful for Spain’s service, not out of any tender feelings toward him.
Meanwhile, the newspapers were in an uproar. Between the failed caper at the art museum (where El Apasionado Caballero had been content to steal Romano rather than the statue he’d been targeting) and the fact that he hadn’t shown up for the job at the exhibition hall (when he had come to take care of Romano instead), the rumor mill was churning out theories like hotcakes. Romano couldn’t help rolling his eyes at some of the theories because they were so ridiculous. Was this really what passed for news these days?
He supposed he could kind of understand why the papers were so interested in El Apasionado Caballero. After all, he was, as some people might say (people who weren’t Romano), tall, dark and handsome, not to mention suave and mysterious. Then again, that was just people making stupid assumptions. No one had ever seen the man’s face; for all they knew, he could be a dog.
In fact, the best picture anyone had ever taken of the thief was too distant and dark to really make out any defining features. Romano was willing to bet no one, not even the other members of the small police force he took with him on the jobs, had seen El Apasionado Caballero in as much detail as he had. Well, Romano could clear up some of the mystery about him; El Apasionado Caballero’s looks were completely unremarkable. He put his paper down with a snort and went to see if Spain was awake for his next dose of medicine.
“Hey, dumb ass,” Romano said as he entered his room. “Time for more medicine. Wake up or I’ll shove the pills up your nose.”
Spain hardly stirred. Annoyed, Romano approached him, intending to flick him in the ear as a punishment for ignoring him, but he stopped when he saw Spain’s face. He was looking a lot better today; the feverish flush in his cheeks was diminishing, he wasn’t sweating, and his shivering was hardly noticeable. His lips were still chapped, though, and he still had to breathe through his mouth to accommodate for his stuffy nose.
Romano knelt slowly at the side of the bed, watching Spain as he slept. He didn’t know why the bastard didn’t just go back to his own house. Romano had much more important things to do than to take care of an idiot like him. How much longer would he have to sacrifice his bed to him? Romano reached out hesitantly and laid a hand on Spain’s forehead, trying to gage the severity of his fever. It was difficult to say; Romano had never been very good at estimating temperatures by touching with his hands. He was much more adept when he used his lips.
Reply
Romano leaned in and touched his mouth shyly to Spain’s skin. He was pretty sure there was still a slight fever there, but he was coming at him from kind of an awkward angle so it was difficult to tell. Romano shifted into a more natural position and hesitantly tried again. As he had thought, Spain was still a bit warm, but he thought there was a chance that it could be gone by tomorrow. It was about time, too! The sooner he got this stupid bastard out of his house the better.
Romano pulled away slowly, too preoccupied by the strange things his heart was doing to notice for a moment that Spain had awoken. When those big green eyes blinked dazedly at him, however, Romano jumped so badly that he tipped over gracelessly from his crouching position and landed on his butt. He scuttled away frantically, hitting his back hard against the wall in his desperation to put some distance in between them, his face glowing like the setting sun.
“R-Romano…” Spain croaked in hopeful disbelief. His hand drifted up to touch his forehead where he had felt the timid brush of Romano’s lips.
“Asshole! P-pervert! It’s not what you think!” Romano insisted. “Get that stupid smile off your face, dammit! I was tecking your chemperature! Ch-checking your temperature! So I’d know when I could get your stupid ass out of my fucking house, dammit! It’s not what you think!”
Spain couldn’t help smiling. Romano could give that excuse all he wanted, but he had felt Romano kiss him not once, but twice. And that thoroughly embarrassed reaction he was giving him after being caught only made it more adorable. Romano was looking around frantically for a quick means of escape, but the closest door led to the bathroom. It would have to do.
“L-looking at your dumb face made me have to take a giant shit!” Romano announced, stomping into the bathroom. He snatched the box of pills from the counter, the ones he’d been giving Spain to help with his flu symptoms, and threw them at his face as hard as he could before slamming the door. “Anyway, forget this even happened! It’s all a dream, you bastard!”
Spain couldn’t help laughing quietly as he picked up the pills and pushed two of them out of their plastic and foil casing and into his hand. He couldn’t believe he was actually thinking this, but perhaps he was glad that he had gotten sick.
******
Germany, meanwhile, was feeling distinctly less upbeat about life in general. It had been almost two weeks since he had seen Romano and El Apasionado Caballero together, but he still hadn’t decided what he was going to do about it. The fact that El Apasionado Caballero had failed to show up to his planned caper on the very day that Romano happened to be out sick had only served to strengthen his suspicions.
He had to figure out what to do quickly, preferably before El Apasionado Caballero sent out his next calling card (which, now that he thought about it, always went to Romano: yet another reason to be suspicious of him). So far, he hadn’t mentioned his dilemma to anyone.
The blond officer finally reached Italy’s café and glanced down at his watch. It was now a little bit past 10 PM which meant that the café was closed for the night. Luckily, the light was still on inside, meaning that Italy hadn’t gone home for the night yet. Germany was relieved; no matter how lost or stressed or upset he was, he could always count on smiles, kisses, delicious food and a river of sympathy from his loving boyfriend to lighten his mood at least a little. He knocked on the glass door and waited.
Reply
“I was hoping Germany would come see me tonight!” Italy chirped as he nuzzled his face into Germany’s muscular chest. “I was just thinking about you!”
“I’m glad I was able to catch you before you went home,” Germany muttered.
“But even if you didn’t, Germany is always welcome to come over to my house. You could even spend the night if you wanted.”
Germany blushed, but said nothing. Instead, he just stroked Italy’s hair tiredly. Italy looked up at him, his cheerful expression morphing one of concern.
“Germany?” he said quietly. “What’s wrong? You look tired and sad… Did you have a bad day?”
“I don’t know if I would say it was a bad day…” Germany replied slowly. “Things at work have just been strange lately. I have a big decision I have to make, but neither choice is going to be pleasant…”
Italy stood on his tiptoes and kissed his lips softly. “Is it something you can talk to me about? Maybe I can help.”
Germany frowned as he mulled this over. Perhaps he should talk to Italy about this; it concerned his brother after all. Then again, what if he ended up upsetting Italy in addition to himself? It would probably come as a surprise that his brother was fraternizing with a wanted criminal. Was it better not to make Italy think badly of his brother?
“Why don’t I get us some cake and coffee and we can work it out together, ok?” Italy offered.
“I don’t know, Italy…” Germany sighed. “If I tell you, I’m sure you’ll be upset, too. The last thing I want is to see you cry.”
Italy took Germany’s hand and brought it to his cheek, nuzzling into it. “Germany is always strong for me when I need him to be. I’d like to be strong for Germany sometimes, too. That’s what people do when they’re in love, right?”
Germany supposed he could understand where Italy was coming from for once. He stroked Italy’s cheek thoughtfully with his thumb.
“Maybe I’m stronger than Germany thinks,” Italy suggested.
As soon as Italy said that, Germany couldn’t help feeling a bit guilty. Though Italy often acted silly and childish and had the tendency to be a bit of a crybaby, he had shown remarkable strength in other situations. He was an adult and he didn’t need Germany to shelter him from everything. Germany needed to trust in that.
“I’m sorry, you’re… you’re right,” Germany admitted.
“Why doesn’t Germany sit down over here and I’ll be right back with some molten lava cakes and coffee, ok?” Italy said, ushering Germany over to a booth with a smile.
Germany slid into his seat to wait. Italy returned a few minutes later carrying a tray with two personal-sized chocolate cakes topped with fresh whipped cream and strawberry slices along with two steaming cups of coffee. He laid the treats out in front of them before sliding into the booth beside Germany. He took a spoon and dug into Germany’s cake, letting the thick, warm chocolate sauce dribble out, and brought a bite-sized piece to his lover’s lips. Germany accepted his assistance with a blush.
“I experimented with a new recipe I made up for these cakes,” Italy explained brightly. “Do you like it?”
“Delicious,” Germany hummed, accepting another bite. “The strawberries were a nice touch.”
Italy grinned and kissed Germany’s cheek before digging into his own dessert. “So, let’s talk. I’ll listen as close as I can!”
Germany added cream to his coffee and stirred it uneasily as he tried to decide how to best break the news to Italy. Perhaps it was best if he just came out and said it.
Reply
Leave a comment