Catch You, Catch Me (1b/5?)
anonymous
January 20 2011, 05:48:18 UTC
Another swell of sultry Spanish music washed over him and before Romano could stop himself, he was picturing strong, confident gloved fingers dancing up and down the neck of the guitar, caressing the strings like they were his lovers. Suddenly his little hideout felt even smaller and warmer before. Even Romano’s pants felt a little tighter. Perhaps he needed to go a bit lighter on the pasta. He swallowed hard and tried to focus.
The flamenco music halted at last, and Romano could almost picture the thief pouting over the fact that his playing had failed to attract any attention. Romano had instructed the other officers to surround the room containing the sapphire, staying out of sight and waiting for his signal to enter if he needed backup. He strained his ears, listening for El Apasionado Caballero’s approach. There it was, the quiet padding of graceful footsteps on the museum’s marble floor.
His heart beat went into overdrive when he heard El Apasionado Caballero lift the glass case that protected the sapphire. The young detective tensed his muscles, watching intently for the top panel to be lifted.
Then something tragic happened; Romano’s stomach chose that very inopportune moment to growl hungrily. He hugged his middle, trying desperately to hush it and praying that the thief hadn’t heard. Romano had been so busy preparing his trap this evening, so excited about his impending victory, that he hadn’t bothered to have dinner. This could be his undoing.
To Romano’s horror, he heard a soft chuckle. El Apasionado Caballero had obviously picked up the sound of his stomach rumbling.
“Now unless my ears deceive me, it sounds like there’s a hungry little tomato hiding somewhere nearby,” El Apasionado Caballero purred. “I wonder where he might be…”
Romano blushed, gritting his teeth angrily. Damn, stupid thief, always patronizing him, talking to him like he was a kid. He may only be twenty-two, but that was certainly old enough to be treated like an adult. But he couldn’t say anything in his own defense just now. El Apasionado Caballero was obviously trying to make him so angry that he gave his position away. Well it wasn’t going to work.
“It came from very close by.” El Apasionado Caballero’s tone was similar to one that one might use when playing hide-and-seek with a young child who thought that sitting on a couch with a blanket over their head was a clever way to hide. “And the only thing close to me is this display…”
Suddenly, El Apasionado Caballero lifted the sapphire, causing the pedestal walls to fall open as planned. Romano sprang at him, grabbing the thief around the waist. The two of them went crashing to the floor, Romano pinning his captive beneath his slightly smaller and skinnier frame.
Romano went red as his hips pressed against El Apasionado Caballero’s thigh when they hit the tile and he scrambled to support his weight on his knees. El Apasionado Caballero made no effort to get away; he simply grinned up at Romano in that superior way of his that made the detective want to grab him by his neck and shake him. Every time Romano so much as pictured that stupid smile in his head, it made his stomach feel weird, like he was going to puke or something. That was how much he hated that smile.
Catch You, Catch Me (1c/5?)
anonymous
January 20 2011, 05:51:50 UTC
“Happy to see me, my cute little tomato?” El Apasionado Caballero breathed against Romano’s cheek, brushing what was most certainly not the beginning of an erection with his leg.
“Th-that was my gun, dumb ass!” Romano sputtered. “Don’t get so fucking cocky!”
The thief’s stunningly green eyes glittered playfully up at him from underneath his half black, half white masquerade ball-style mask. “I’m happy to see you, too. I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately.”
Romano could feel his cheeks burning (with anger, not embarrassment, although the pervert really hadn’t had any business touching him like that) and he quickly bowed his head to hide it, lest El Apasionado Caballero get the wrong idea.
“Like I give a shit about what goes on in that creepy, screwed up head of yours.” He began to feel around in the pocket of the navy jacket that made up part of his uniform, searching frantically for his handcuffs.
“It was the flamenco that got my sweet little detective all excited, wasn’t it?” El Apasionado Caballero said. “I just thought that up today. I thought I could make it part of my modus operandi, like I would play it to announce my arrival. It was super cool, wasn’t it?”
“A constipated cat in heat would have sounded better than that crap you were playing,” Romano lied. Where the hell had his handcuffs gone? He’d searched all four of his pockets… His stomach growled again loudly and Romano had to fight the urge to smack his head against the floor.
“Oh right, you’re hungry, huh?” El Apasionado Caballero reached into the pocket of his closely fitted, high collared black suit and pulled out a Ziploc bag with something long and hard in it. “Would you like some churros? I made them fresh this morning.”
“Like I’d accept anything from you!” Romano spat. “You probably poisoned them!”
“I brought them to munch on in case I had some time to kill, but I’d gladly share with you, Romano,” the thief offered.
He reached into the bag and broke off a bite-sized piece for himself which he popped into his mouth. A little shock of heat shot through Romano’s body when El Apasionado Caballero’s tongue poked out and swiped across his lips, clearing away the cinnamon and sugar. He swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry. Then he shook his head; El Apasionado Caballero was trying to mess with him and he’d rather kiss the potato bastard than allow him to succeed.
“Dammit, where the fuck are my handcuffs?!” Romano snarled.
“Oh, I threw them,” El Apasionado Caballero said around a mouthful of churros.
“Hah?”
“Well, I’d be in trouble if you put them on me, right? I saw an opening when you jumped at me so I grabbed them and threw them as hard as I could.”
Romano stared at him, flabbergasted. El Apasionado Caballero put the bag of churros away and brushed his hands together, getting rid of the excess cinnamon and sugar. Then he sat up, forcing Romano to sit up with him. The detective suddenly found his cheek pressed against El Apasionado Caballero’s perfectly fitted, high-collared black suit jacket with the ornate silver embroidery across the chest and blushed again.
“Well, I’ve got my jewel and I’ve had some fun with my cute little tomato… I wish I could stay longer, but I think it’s time for me to make my exit.”
Romano came to his senses and shoved El Apasionado Caballero back down to the floor. “Like I’d let you go! What kind of sucky detective do you think I am?!”
“The kind that’s so enamored with me that he can’t bear the thought of me behind bars?” El Apasionado Caballero offered with a hopeful smile.
“L-like hell! Hey, you moron officers out there! Get your sorry asses in here and back me up!”
At Romano’s word, thirty or so officers abandoned their hiding places and swarmed into the room.
“Ahh, this is no good,” El Apasionado Caballero sighed. “I wanted to show my super-cool escape only to Romano…”
The officers surged forward, all of them making a grab for El Apasionado Caballero.
Catch You, Catch Me (1d/5?)
anonymous
January 20 2011, 05:55:39 UTC
“Not all at once or you’ll--!” Officer Germany, Romano’s other sworn enemy, sighed in frustration as El Apasionado Caballero danced gracefully out of their way, causing several of the officers to collide painfully.
Germany raced around the tangle of officers who had fallen over each other and made a grab for El Apasionado Caballero. The thief ducked his grasping hands, almost losing his black wide-rimmed, feathered hat at the sudden movement. While Germany was still trying to regain his balance after the lunge, El Apasionado Caballero tripped him, sending the blond officer sprawling over his knee-high black, silver buckled boot.
Romano, who had taken advantage of the distraction provided by the other officers to locate and retrieve his handcuffs, sprinted back into the fray. He wove his way through the mess of people, his eyes locked on El Apasionado Caballero. The thief’s attention was currently occupied by Officer Finland, who was attempting to back him into a corner.
Romano darted over, his handcuffs poised to snap onto El Apasionado Caballero’s wrists. He threw himself at the other man, and for one glorious second, he thought he might actually have him. But El Apasionado Caballero was too quick for him; he shot a rope with a grappling hook, apparently from his sleeve, which hooked onto the ledge of a window near the ceiling. Before Romano could get a secure hold on him, he was already rocketing through the air on the rope towards safety as fluidly as if he was flying.
The only thing Romano had managed to get his hands on was the theif’s cloak fastener, a shiny ruby-red tomato-shaped brooch with fine silver chains dangling from either side. El Apasionado Caballero clutched at his loose cloak, looked down at the chaos below and flashed Romano a winning smile, apparently completely disinterested in the snarl of other officers.
“Better luck next time, my little tomato.” He breathed the words like a confession of love, yet somehow they reached Romano’s ears even over the din of the officers who were still trying to get at the thief. Romano’s face flushed (because of rage; it had nothing, nothing whatsoever to do with the soft and affectionate tone the other man had directed at him).
El Apasionado Caballero dropped a smoke pellet at his own feet, and by the time the haze had cleared, he was gone.
“FUCK!!” Romano screamed, throwing his handcuffs at the floor as hard as he could.
Re: Catch You, Catch Me (1d/5?)
anonymous
January 20 2011, 20:12:28 UTC
Goodness gracious. Spain, never change. Flamenco music is extremely stylish, and so sexy. And nice exit!
Romano, excellent plan. I'm sure there was no way that it could fail in theory. I believe in your thief catching abilities!
On a side note, wouldn't it be Caballero Apasionado? My (admittedly lacking) Spanish education has taught me that the adjectives follow the noun rather than go before it. Just curious.
"On a side note, wouldn't it be Caballero Apasionado? My (admittedly lacking) Spanish education has taught me that the adjectives follow the noun rather than go before it."
After you said that, I went and looked it up on about.com and it said "Generally, the adjectives placed after nouns have an objective meaning or one that carries little or no emotional content, while one placed before the noun can indicate something about how the speaker feels toward the person or thing being described." So maybe it's ok as is? Are there any Spanish-speaking readers who can confirm or negate this?
Re: Catch You, Catch Me (1d/5?)
anonymous
January 20 2011, 22:37:20 UTC
Like someone already said, this fill is really charming~ I really like how Spain is still so Spain while being a thief. And a good one! I really like how Romano is also making absurd excuses to ignore his crush on the charming handsome thief.
Ah! Sorry anon, Op is busy as of now and I may be late to comment.
Seriously, only Spain would have the idea of announcing his entry playing a song on his guitar. And only Romano would be in such utter denial. It makes one think if he really wants to catch El Apasionado Caballero to put him behind bars or do something else...
Catch You, Catch Me (2a/5?)
anonymous
January 22 2011, 03:03:14 UTC
Romano had never been so pathetic as to fantasize about what El Apasionado Caballero might be like in bed, but even if he had, he doubted that his imagination could be as mind-blowing as this. The young detective panted, biting his lip to restrain a moan as his body begged for release.
El Apasionado Caballero’s lips pressed against his cheek tenderly, trailing a string of kisses unhurriedly down his neck. Romano could feel the thief’s bare chest resting against his equally bare back, well defined abs flexing against his skin.
El Apasionado Caballero’s usual highly flattering black dress slacks had been traded for ultra-low riding jeans which exposed his fine treasure trail and the angular curves of his hip bones. Those jeans had yet to be shed, but there was no doubt in Romano’s mind that it would happen in time. Even Romano’s bottom-half was still clothed, and yet he was more turned on than he could remember ever having been in his entire life. It wasn’t fair that El Apasionado Caballero could do this to him, seemingly with so little effort, but at the moment Romano could hardly bring himself to care.
El Apasionado Caballero was whispering sweet words in his ear in Spanish, punctuating his romantic monologue with kisses. His hand slipped into Romano’s hair, locating his curl as quickly and effortlessly as if he had known ahead of time exactly where it was and what it did. It was only through sheer force of will that Romano managed not to come when El Apasionado Caballero gave it a slow, sensuous pull. This was not an easy feat, considering the fact that the thief’s other hand was between his legs, stroking his aching arousal in a leisurely manner that almost had Romano believing that he wasn’t as hot and bothered as he was. But the thief couldn’t fool him, not when he kept rocking his hips against Romano’s bottom. There was no mistaking the fact that El Apasionado Caballero was fully erect as well.
“E-enough messing around,” Romano grunted. “I can’t… chigi… I’ve had enough damn t-teasing… chigigi…”
“Are you at your limit, my little tomato?” El Apasionado Caballero whispered.
Romano didn’t bother to answer verbally, finding the question rather humiliating; instead he fumbled with his zipper, hands shaking violently as he teetered on the verge of an orgasm. El Apasionado Caballero took his hands in his steadier ones, stopping him.
“Calm down, my love,” he breathed. “There’s no need to rush.”
Romano was about to snap at him that there was a need to rush because he was about five seconds from making a mess of his pants when El Apasionado Caballero unzipped his pants for him, cupping his manhood in his palm over his boxers. The detective whined, shuddering as El Apasionado Caballero’s fingertips traced up the underside of his cock.
Even now, as the thief attempted to slowly drive him crazy, Romano was acutely aware of El Apasionado Caballero’s harsh breathing against his neck, the erection that had been freed from the confines of his boxers rutting against him from behind, the warm and spicy scent of the other man’s cologne. Somehow it was these details that made the experience so much more intimate and pleasurable to him. The fingers massaging the head of his arousal didn’t hurt either.
“Mmm…Romano…” El Apasionado Caballero panted. “I... l-love you…”
Catch You, Catch Me (2b/5?)
anonymous
January 22 2011, 03:05:44 UTC
Romano awoke as he came, his hips bucking uncontrollably. The detective gasped and bolted upright in bed. The alarm clock was going off. He smacked the clock instinctively, shutting off the alarm, and looked confusedly around the room, disoriented by the abrupt shift from dream to reality. His body was covered in sweat and he was breathing hard.
Romano blushed scarlet as he looked down at his sticky sheets, humiliated by the fact that they had been made that way by an erotic dream about that fucking thief, of all people. He didn’t even like the bastard. In fact, he hated him with every particle of his being. Was he so lonely and desperate that thoughts of any random person would do?
He realized that he had fallen asleep clutching the tomato-shaped bauble with the delicate silver chains still attached to either side which he had ripped off of El Apasionado Caballero’s cloak the last time they had met, two weeks ago. Romano drew back his arm to throw the cursed thing across the room, but for some weird reason, he couldn’t do it, and that made him feel sick. One would think he was pining like some pathetic moron with the way he was acting. Already in a bad mood, Romano dropped the trinket on his bedside table and wiped the sweat from his forehead.
The detective got out of bed and stripped off his sheets for washing before heading toward the shower. He had seen El Apasionado Caballero use what appeared to be magic on every job Romano had ever followed him to; perhaps the thief had put some sort of pervert spell on him. That had to be it, or else Romano never would have seen him in such a dream.
Feeling a little less ashamed of himself now that he had found an explanation that shifted the blame away from him, Romano stepped into the bathroom and reached for his toothbrush. That was when he caught sight of his face in the mirror. Romano rubbed his eyes and shook his head, wondering if his mind was playing tricks on him. But no, when he opened his eyes again, it was still there: bold black writing scrawled across his cheek.
It had been smeared slightly, presumably when he had let his cheek rest against his pillow before the message had finished drying, but it was still legible. I will steal the Faith Diamond from the Chiarina City Museum of Natural History on October 8th at 9 PM. Love, El Apasionado Caballero. The detective’s cheeks reddened. What the hell was the thief playing at, signing his calling card with “love”? What a sicko!
But Romano hardly cared at the moment; he was too excited by the promise of another chance. October 8th was tomorrow! That didn’t give him much time to prepare. Romano began to brush his teeth at a furious pace, eager to head over to the museum so that he could get things set up.
******
If Romano had been confident in his last plan to capture El Apasionado Caballero, it was nothing compared to his level of confidence right now. Romano had been waiting eagerly for this item to arrive for about a month, and now it was finally here. It was a trick display platform and pedestal which he had custom ordered from a specialty place on the internet.
The idea was that if anyone lifted the glass display case, bars would spring out from the perimeter of the platform, forming a cage to trap the perpetrator. Romano had already tested it out himself and it worked like a dream. El Apasionado Caballero wouldn’t know what hit him.
Romano was in place by the time nine o’clock rolled around, hiding as usual in a place which would allow him full view of the Faith Diamond. His heart began to pound excitedly as the appointed time drew closer. In mere minutes, he would be staring down that pathetic excuse of a cat burglar from the other side of steel bars, laughing his ass off because they would both finally know which of them was superior. And El Apasionado Caballero would probably cry like a big dumb baby, but Romano wouldn’t care because he had won.
Catch You, Catch Me (2c/5?)
anonymous
January 22 2011, 03:10:52 UTC
But then something occurred to him. The calling card for today’s caper had been written on his face, which meant that El Apasionado Caballero had had to break into his house during the night, come right over to him and spend at least fifteen seconds staring at him close up. Knowing what a pervert the guy was, he’d probably stuck around longer than that, just watching him. Granted, Romano didn’t know exactly what time El Apasionado Caballero had written the message, but he did know that it had been after three in the morning because he had gotten up to use the bathroom at that time and he was sure there had been no writing then. What if the thief had come in while he was having that embarrassing dream? What if he had seen Romano tossing, turning, panting and moaning his name? What if his presence, his touch, had been what triggered that damnable fantasy (which Romano still maintained was due to some weird magic that had been cast on him rather than being any sort of reflection of real desires that he might have)?
Romano was so mortified by the thought that he skipped going red and went white as a sheet instead. El Apasionado Caballero was going to show up at any minute and Romano was going to have to face him. Whether the thief had witnessed him having the dream or not, Romano knew he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it. It had already been hanging over his head all day and he hadn’t even come face-to-face with El Apasionado Caballero yet. How could he look him in the eye now?
Romano was nowhere near being mentally prepared to deal with El Apasionado Caballero when he heard the flamenco music begin. The detective panicked, looking around wildly for somewhere to hide when he remembered that he was already hiding. This was no good; now he had no choice but to face him.
Romano was so distressed that he didn’t even have the presence of mind to appreciate the flamenco intro (not that he enjoyed it or anything; he’d just heard some of the other officers talking about how cool it was. Honestly, there was just no accounting for taste). He couldn’t even see the thief. Where on earth was that music coming from anyway?
“The lack of response to my music is really starting to get me down,” El Apasionado Caballero pouted, his voice muffled. “I thought it was cool…”
A ceiling panel suddenly vanished and El Apasionado Caballero poked his head out to look around. “Helloooo? Any cute little tomato detectives in here?”
Romano said nothing, but watched intently as the thief did a flip down from the ceiling, landing gracefully on his feet. His heart did a strange little flutter, but it had nothing to do with that lame monkey trick. It was just excitement from his impending victory, and discomfort as memories of his humiliating dream flashed through his head. El Apasionado Caballero waited, his arms spread expectantly. When there was no reaction, he let them fall to his sides, looking disappointed.
“You police officers are a tough crowd, huh?” he said. “Is there anything that impresses you guys? But I guess as long as my little tomato saw it, it’s ok.”
Well, Romano had seen it, but he wasn’t impressed; not in the slightest.
“You’re really not gonna come out unless I go for the diamond, huh, Romano?”
El Apasionado Caballero sighed and turned toward the display that housed the Faith Diamond. Romano could see the thief’s eyebrows half disappearing behind his mask as he frowned.
“That’s weird… Did that display look like that yesterday when I came to scope out the scene?” El Apasionado Caballero wondered aloud.
He contemplated it for a moment longer, then shrugged and pranced over to it, completely unsuspecting. Romano leaned forward and held his breath. He was so close. So close. His heart was pounding so hard that it almost felt like it would explode when El Apasionado Caballero jimmied the lock and lifted the glass case slowly. Romano jumped up and cheered as the bars shot up out of the platform and clanged shut around the thief.
“Whoa, hey! What’s this?!” El Apasionado Caballero gasped.
“What’s it look like, dumb ass?!” Romano cackled, springing out of his hiding spot. “It’s a trap and you fell for it! God, you are so…”
Catch You, Catch Me (2d/5?)
anonymous
January 22 2011, 03:15:12 UTC
Romano trailed off suddenly as he got close enough to look him in the eye. He remembered the soft words that El Apasionado Caballero had whispered in his ear in his dream, the warm kisses, the caress of his confident fingers and he went scarlet.
“Eh? What’s wrong, Romano?” El Apasionado Caballero asked, looking genuinely concerned. “Your face is looking pretty red… Do you have a fever?”
El Apasionado Caballero reached through the bars and touched Romano’s cheek softly, checking his temperature. Romano’s eyes slipped closed and he shuddered.
“D-don’t touch me!” he snapped, slapping El Apasionado Caballero’s hand away. “You… You’re in a cage and… I’ve won and you suck and now I… I never have to…”
Romano trailed off again as reality set in. This was it. If he captured El Apasionado Caballero, the thief would go to jail and the chase would be over permanently. No more planning traps, no more calling cards, no more long legged, overdressed, smooth-talking, taut-assed thief. It was over; he had really won. Suddenly Romano felt ill.
Meanwhile, El Apasionado Caballero was watching his face closely. His heart panged with a sort of sad, sweet joy when he saw the trepidation on Romano’s face as he realized that their time together was over. It was hard to tell with Romano sometimes because he was so grumpy, but now he had proof that Romano didn’t think as little of him as he said he did. El Apasionado Caballero knew that he couldn’t let things end this way.
He paced the cage, examining it carefully for any weaknesses. The bars weren’t very close together; perhaps there was hope for escape. El Apasionado Caballero turned, plucked the Faith Diamond from its display the pressed himself into the space between the bars. It was going to be a tight fit, but maybe… El Apasionado Caballero let all the breath out of his lungs to help make himself skinnier and began to squirm.
Romano was in a horrified trance over his realization and didn’t even notice what El Apasionado Caballero was doing. Sure he would be a hero after capturing this infamous thief, but it would be a hollow victory. Chasing El Apasionado Caballero had been the most thrilling thing he had done in his entire career. Would another thief that posed just as much of a challenge step up to take El Apasionado Caballero’s place once he was gone? Somehow the thought of this didn’t console Romano like he thought it would.
“There, there, little tomato, don’t be sad,” El Apasionado Caballero breathed, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into his embrace. “I can’t stand to see you so upset… I know! How about a cheer-up charm! Fusosososo… Fusosososo…”
Romano jumped, his eyes growing wide. “What…? How did you…? Why aren’t you…?”
“Oh, I squeezed out between the bars!” El Apasionado Caballero replied cheerfully. “It was kind of tough, but I made it!”
Catch You, Catch Me (2e/5?)
anonymous
January 22 2011, 03:20:00 UTC
The detective gaped, so full of conflicting emotions that he didn’t know what else to do besides stare, his mouth hanging open like an idiot. El Apasionado Caballero laughed, reached out and threaded gloved fingers into Romano’s bangs, ruffling his hair affectionately. Unfortunately for him, his hand grazed a certain curl and Romano’s face went scarlet again. The detective head-butted him hard in the stomach, sending him flying. El Apasionado Caballero cried out in pain, rubbing his bruised ribs.
“F-fucking pervert!” Romano screamed. “Hey, you shitty officers! The damn trap failed so get in here and help me catch him!”
“Oops, time to go!” the thief commented.
El Apasionado Caballero was already making for the exit, Romano hot on his trail as the other officers flooded into the room. It seemed that the thief wasn’t going to try for another smoke bomb exit and Romano was grateful for that. El Apasionado Caballero darted into the woods behind the museum, weaving wildly back and forth between the trees in hopes of losing the officers who were following him.
Some of the less fit officers were dropping away as they ran out of energy, but Romano wasn’t about to let him go. He purposely didn’t let on when he could help it, but he could run quite fast when it suited him. El Apasionado Caballero glanced back over his shoulder to see who was still behind him and grinned happily when he saw that only Romano was still on his tail.
That moment of distraction almost cost El Apasionado Caballero his life. He skidded to a halt just in time to avoid running right off a cliff. In his shock over almost having died, the Faith Diamond slipped from his fingers. Romano’s mouth fell open in a silent scream as he watched the diamond tumble over the edge of the cliff, moving as if it was falling in slow motion.
“Dumb ass!” he roared, launching himself forward and making a desperate snatch for it.
He overbalanced, missing the diamond and tumbled over the edge.
“ROMANO!!” El Apasionado Caballero screamed, dropping to his knees and peering over the brink. The detective was clutching a protruding tree branch for dear life.
“D-don’t just stand there, you b-b-bastard!” Romano sniffled, his eyes filling with terrified tears, his bottom lip trembling. “S-save me!”
El Apasionado Caballero was just extending Romano his hand when a little twinkle in the leaves of the tree branch that was keeping Romano from plunging to his death caught his eye. The diamond was caught in the foliage. El Apasionado Caballero shook his head minutely. The moment Romano released the branch, the diamond would be flung into oblivion, but he wasn’t about to risk Romano slipping just for a shiny rock.
El Apasionado Caballero pulled Romano up and into his arms, hugging him like his life depended on it. Romano was so petrified that he just trembled in El Apasionado Caballero’s arms, tears of relief spilling down his cheeks.
“Don’t ever do anything like that again!” El Apasionado Caballero scolded, shaking Romano. “You could have died!”
“Wh-what do you care?” Romano mumbled, blushing as he wiped his eyes on his sleeve. “I’m trying to put you in jail, moron. You should want me out of the way… Anyway, the diamond-”
“Is worthless to me compared to you! There are thousands, maybe millions of diamonds in this world but there’s only one sweet little Romano tomato!”
The flamenco music halted at last, and Romano could almost picture the thief pouting over the fact that his playing had failed to attract any attention. Romano had instructed the other officers to surround the room containing the sapphire, staying out of sight and waiting for his signal to enter if he needed backup. He strained his ears, listening for El Apasionado Caballero’s approach. There it was, the quiet padding of graceful footsteps on the museum’s marble floor.
His heart beat went into overdrive when he heard El Apasionado Caballero lift the glass case that protected the sapphire. The young detective tensed his muscles, watching intently for the top panel to be lifted.
Then something tragic happened; Romano’s stomach chose that very inopportune moment to growl hungrily. He hugged his middle, trying desperately to hush it and praying that the thief hadn’t heard. Romano had been so busy preparing his trap this evening, so excited about his impending victory, that he hadn’t bothered to have dinner. This could be his undoing.
To Romano’s horror, he heard a soft chuckle. El Apasionado Caballero had obviously picked up the sound of his stomach rumbling.
“Now unless my ears deceive me, it sounds like there’s a hungry little tomato hiding somewhere nearby,” El Apasionado Caballero purred. “I wonder where he might be…”
Romano blushed, gritting his teeth angrily. Damn, stupid thief, always patronizing him, talking to him like he was a kid. He may only be twenty-two, but that was certainly old enough to be treated like an adult. But he couldn’t say anything in his own defense just now. El Apasionado Caballero was obviously trying to make him so angry that he gave his position away. Well it wasn’t going to work.
“It came from very close by.” El Apasionado Caballero’s tone was similar to one that one might use when playing hide-and-seek with a young child who thought that sitting on a couch with a blanket over their head was a clever way to hide. “And the only thing close to me is this display…”
Suddenly, El Apasionado Caballero lifted the sapphire, causing the pedestal walls to fall open as planned. Romano sprang at him, grabbing the thief around the waist. The two of them went crashing to the floor, Romano pinning his captive beneath his slightly smaller and skinnier frame.
Romano went red as his hips pressed against El Apasionado Caballero’s thigh when they hit the tile and he scrambled to support his weight on his knees. El Apasionado Caballero made no effort to get away; he simply grinned up at Romano in that superior way of his that made the detective want to grab him by his neck and shake him. Every time Romano so much as pictured that stupid smile in his head, it made his stomach feel weird, like he was going to puke or something. That was how much he hated that smile.
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“Th-that was my gun, dumb ass!” Romano sputtered. “Don’t get so fucking cocky!”
The thief’s stunningly green eyes glittered playfully up at him from underneath his half black, half white masquerade ball-style mask. “I’m happy to see you, too. I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately.”
Romano could feel his cheeks burning (with anger, not embarrassment, although the pervert really hadn’t had any business touching him like that) and he quickly bowed his head to hide it, lest El Apasionado Caballero get the wrong idea.
“Like I give a shit about what goes on in that creepy, screwed up head of yours.” He began to feel around in the pocket of the navy jacket that made up part of his uniform, searching frantically for his handcuffs.
“It was the flamenco that got my sweet little detective all excited, wasn’t it?” El Apasionado Caballero said. “I just thought that up today. I thought I could make it part of my modus operandi, like I would play it to announce my arrival. It was super cool, wasn’t it?”
“A constipated cat in heat would have sounded better than that crap you were playing,” Romano lied. Where the hell had his handcuffs gone? He’d searched all four of his pockets… His stomach growled again loudly and Romano had to fight the urge to smack his head against the floor.
“Oh right, you’re hungry, huh?” El Apasionado Caballero reached into the pocket of his closely fitted, high collared black suit and pulled out a Ziploc bag with something long and hard in it. “Would you like some churros? I made them fresh this morning.”
“Like I’d accept anything from you!” Romano spat. “You probably poisoned them!”
“I brought them to munch on in case I had some time to kill, but I’d gladly share with you, Romano,” the thief offered.
He reached into the bag and broke off a bite-sized piece for himself which he popped into his mouth. A little shock of heat shot through Romano’s body when El Apasionado Caballero’s tongue poked out and swiped across his lips, clearing away the cinnamon and sugar. He swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry. Then he shook his head; El Apasionado Caballero was trying to mess with him and he’d rather kiss the potato bastard than allow him to succeed.
“Dammit, where the fuck are my handcuffs?!” Romano snarled.
“Oh, I threw them,” El Apasionado Caballero said around a mouthful of churros.
“Hah?”
“Well, I’d be in trouble if you put them on me, right? I saw an opening when you jumped at me so I grabbed them and threw them as hard as I could.”
Romano stared at him, flabbergasted. El Apasionado Caballero put the bag of churros away and brushed his hands together, getting rid of the excess cinnamon and sugar. Then he sat up, forcing Romano to sit up with him. The detective suddenly found his cheek pressed against El Apasionado Caballero’s perfectly fitted, high-collared black suit jacket with the ornate silver embroidery across the chest and blushed again.
“Well, I’ve got my jewel and I’ve had some fun with my cute little tomato… I wish I could stay longer, but I think it’s time for me to make my exit.”
Romano came to his senses and shoved El Apasionado Caballero back down to the floor. “Like I’d let you go! What kind of sucky detective do you think I am?!”
“The kind that’s so enamored with me that he can’t bear the thought of me behind bars?” El Apasionado Caballero offered with a hopeful smile.
“L-like hell! Hey, you moron officers out there! Get your sorry asses in here and back me up!”
At Romano’s word, thirty or so officers abandoned their hiding places and swarmed into the room.
“Ahh, this is no good,” El Apasionado Caballero sighed. “I wanted to show my super-cool escape only to Romano…”
The officers surged forward, all of them making a grab for El Apasionado Caballero.
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Germany raced around the tangle of officers who had fallen over each other and made a grab for El Apasionado Caballero. The thief ducked his grasping hands, almost losing his black wide-rimmed, feathered hat at the sudden movement. While Germany was still trying to regain his balance after the lunge, El Apasionado Caballero tripped him, sending the blond officer sprawling over his knee-high black, silver buckled boot.
Romano, who had taken advantage of the distraction provided by the other officers to locate and retrieve his handcuffs, sprinted back into the fray. He wove his way through the mess of people, his eyes locked on El Apasionado Caballero. The thief’s attention was currently occupied by Officer Finland, who was attempting to back him into a corner.
Romano darted over, his handcuffs poised to snap onto El Apasionado Caballero’s wrists. He threw himself at the other man, and for one glorious second, he thought he might actually have him. But El Apasionado Caballero was too quick for him; he shot a rope with a grappling hook, apparently from his sleeve, which hooked onto the ledge of a window near the ceiling. Before Romano could get a secure hold on him, he was already rocketing through the air on the rope towards safety as fluidly as if he was flying.
The only thing Romano had managed to get his hands on was the theif’s cloak fastener, a shiny ruby-red tomato-shaped brooch with fine silver chains dangling from either side. El Apasionado Caballero clutched at his loose cloak, looked down at the chaos below and flashed Romano a winning smile, apparently completely disinterested in the snarl of other officers.
“Better luck next time, my little tomato.” He breathed the words like a confession of love, yet somehow they reached Romano’s ears even over the din of the officers who were still trying to get at the thief. Romano’s face flushed (because of rage; it had nothing, nothing whatsoever to do with the soft and affectionate tone the other man had directed at him).
El Apasionado Caballero dropped a smoke pellet at his own feet, and by the time the haze had cleared, he was gone.
“FUCK!!” Romano screamed, throwing his handcuffs at the floor as hard as he could.
I’m afraid I didn’t do such a good idea describing Spain’s outfit, but the mask and hat are something like this: http://penguin114.deviantart.com/gallery/7499825?offset=48#/dqnw93 and the jacket is something like a mix between this: http://browse.deviantart.com/?q=masquerade&order=9&offset=120#/d2b535k and this: http://iskra-revoir.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d2suicf Just, er… on the off chance that anyone cares ^^;
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But it really would be a shame to put dat ass behind bars.
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Romano, excellent plan. I'm sure there was no way that it could fail in theory. I believe in your thief catching abilities!
On a side note, wouldn't it be Caballero Apasionado? My (admittedly lacking) Spanish education has taught me that the adjectives follow the noun rather than go before it. Just curious.
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After you said that, I went and looked it up on about.com and it said "Generally, the adjectives placed after nouns have an objective meaning or one that carries little or no emotional content, while one placed before the noun can indicate something about how the speaker feels toward the person or thing being described." So maybe it's ok as is? Are there any Spanish-speaking readers who can confirm or negate this?
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I'm excited about the continuation~
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Seriously, only Spain would have the idea of announcing his entry playing a song on his guitar. And only Romano would be in such utter denial. It makes one think if he really wants to catch El Apasionado Caballero to put him behind bars or do something else...
Very entertaining, keep going!
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El Apasionado Caballero’s lips pressed against his cheek tenderly, trailing a string of kisses unhurriedly down his neck. Romano could feel the thief’s bare chest resting against his equally bare back, well defined abs flexing against his skin.
El Apasionado Caballero’s usual highly flattering black dress slacks had been traded for ultra-low riding jeans which exposed his fine treasure trail and the angular curves of his hip bones. Those jeans had yet to be shed, but there was no doubt in Romano’s mind that it would happen in time. Even Romano’s bottom-half was still clothed, and yet he was more turned on than he could remember ever having been in his entire life. It wasn’t fair that El Apasionado Caballero could do this to him, seemingly with so little effort, but at the moment Romano could hardly bring himself to care.
El Apasionado Caballero was whispering sweet words in his ear in Spanish, punctuating his romantic monologue with kisses. His hand slipped into Romano’s hair, locating his curl as quickly and effortlessly as if he had known ahead of time exactly where it was and what it did. It was only through sheer force of will that Romano managed not to come when El Apasionado Caballero gave it a slow, sensuous pull. This was not an easy feat, considering the fact that the thief’s other hand was between his legs, stroking his aching arousal in a leisurely manner that almost had Romano believing that he wasn’t as hot and bothered as he was. But the thief couldn’t fool him, not when he kept rocking his hips against Romano’s bottom. There was no mistaking the fact that El Apasionado Caballero was fully erect as well.
“E-enough messing around,” Romano grunted. “I can’t… chigi… I’ve had enough damn t-teasing… chigigi…”
“Are you at your limit, my little tomato?” El Apasionado Caballero whispered.
Romano didn’t bother to answer verbally, finding the question rather humiliating; instead he fumbled with his zipper, hands shaking violently as he teetered on the verge of an orgasm. El Apasionado Caballero took his hands in his steadier ones, stopping him.
“Calm down, my love,” he breathed. “There’s no need to rush.”
Romano was about to snap at him that there was a need to rush because he was about five seconds from making a mess of his pants when El Apasionado Caballero unzipped his pants for him, cupping his manhood in his palm over his boxers. The detective whined, shuddering as El Apasionado Caballero’s fingertips traced up the underside of his cock.
Even now, as the thief attempted to slowly drive him crazy, Romano was acutely aware of El Apasionado Caballero’s harsh breathing against his neck, the erection that had been freed from the confines of his boxers rutting against him from behind, the warm and spicy scent of the other man’s cologne. Somehow it was these details that made the experience so much more intimate and pleasurable to him. The fingers massaging the head of his arousal didn’t hurt either.
“Mmm…Romano…” El Apasionado Caballero panted. “I... l-love you…”
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Romano blushed scarlet as he looked down at his sticky sheets, humiliated by the fact that they had been made that way by an erotic dream about that fucking thief, of all people. He didn’t even like the bastard. In fact, he hated him with every particle of his being. Was he so lonely and desperate that thoughts of any random person would do?
He realized that he had fallen asleep clutching the tomato-shaped bauble with the delicate silver chains still attached to either side which he had ripped off of El Apasionado Caballero’s cloak the last time they had met, two weeks ago. Romano drew back his arm to throw the cursed thing across the room, but for some weird reason, he couldn’t do it, and that made him feel sick. One would think he was pining like some pathetic moron with the way he was acting. Already in a bad mood, Romano dropped the trinket on his bedside table and wiped the sweat from his forehead.
The detective got out of bed and stripped off his sheets for washing before heading toward the shower. He had seen El Apasionado Caballero use what appeared to be magic on every job Romano had ever followed him to; perhaps the thief had put some sort of pervert spell on him. That had to be it, or else Romano never would have seen him in such a dream.
Feeling a little less ashamed of himself now that he had found an explanation that shifted the blame away from him, Romano stepped into the bathroom and reached for his toothbrush. That was when he caught sight of his face in the mirror. Romano rubbed his eyes and shook his head, wondering if his mind was playing tricks on him. But no, when he opened his eyes again, it was still there: bold black writing scrawled across his cheek.
It had been smeared slightly, presumably when he had let his cheek rest against his pillow before the message had finished drying, but it was still legible. I will steal the Faith Diamond from the Chiarina City Museum of Natural History on October 8th at 9 PM. Love, El Apasionado Caballero. The detective’s cheeks reddened. What the hell was the thief playing at, signing his calling card with “love”? What a sicko!
But Romano hardly cared at the moment; he was too excited by the promise of another chance. October 8th was tomorrow! That didn’t give him much time to prepare. Romano began to brush his teeth at a furious pace, eager to head over to the museum so that he could get things set up.
******
If Romano had been confident in his last plan to capture El Apasionado Caballero, it was nothing compared to his level of confidence right now. Romano had been waiting eagerly for this item to arrive for about a month, and now it was finally here. It was a trick display platform and pedestal which he had custom ordered from a specialty place on the internet.
The idea was that if anyone lifted the glass display case, bars would spring out from the perimeter of the platform, forming a cage to trap the perpetrator. Romano had already tested it out himself and it worked like a dream. El Apasionado Caballero wouldn’t know what hit him.
Romano was in place by the time nine o’clock rolled around, hiding as usual in a place which would allow him full view of the Faith Diamond. His heart began to pound excitedly as the appointed time drew closer. In mere minutes, he would be staring down that pathetic excuse of a cat burglar from the other side of steel bars, laughing his ass off because they would both finally know which of them was superior. And El Apasionado Caballero would probably cry like a big dumb baby, but Romano wouldn’t care because he had won.
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What if the thief had come in while he was having that embarrassing dream? What if he had seen Romano tossing, turning, panting and moaning his name? What if his presence, his touch, had been what triggered that damnable fantasy (which Romano still maintained was due to some weird magic that had been cast on him rather than being any sort of reflection of real desires that he might have)?
Romano was so mortified by the thought that he skipped going red and went white as a sheet instead. El Apasionado Caballero was going to show up at any minute and Romano was going to have to face him. Whether the thief had witnessed him having the dream or not, Romano knew he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it. It had already been hanging over his head all day and he hadn’t even come face-to-face with El Apasionado Caballero yet. How could he look him in the eye now?
Romano was nowhere near being mentally prepared to deal with El Apasionado Caballero when he heard the flamenco music begin. The detective panicked, looking around wildly for somewhere to hide when he remembered that he was already hiding. This was no good; now he had no choice but to face him.
Romano was so distressed that he didn’t even have the presence of mind to appreciate the flamenco intro (not that he enjoyed it or anything; he’d just heard some of the other officers talking about how cool it was. Honestly, there was just no accounting for taste). He couldn’t even see the thief. Where on earth was that music coming from anyway?
“The lack of response to my music is really starting to get me down,” El Apasionado Caballero pouted, his voice muffled. “I thought it was cool…”
A ceiling panel suddenly vanished and El Apasionado Caballero poked his head out to look around. “Helloooo? Any cute little tomato detectives in here?”
Romano said nothing, but watched intently as the thief did a flip down from the ceiling, landing gracefully on his feet. His heart did a strange little flutter, but it had nothing to do with that lame monkey trick. It was just excitement from his impending victory, and discomfort as memories of his humiliating dream flashed through his head. El Apasionado Caballero waited, his arms spread expectantly. When there was no reaction, he let them fall to his sides, looking disappointed.
“You police officers are a tough crowd, huh?” he said. “Is there anything that impresses you guys? But I guess as long as my little tomato saw it, it’s ok.”
Well, Romano had seen it, but he wasn’t impressed; not in the slightest.
“You’re really not gonna come out unless I go for the diamond, huh, Romano?”
El Apasionado Caballero sighed and turned toward the display that housed the Faith Diamond. Romano could see the thief’s eyebrows half disappearing behind his mask as he frowned.
“That’s weird… Did that display look like that yesterday when I came to scope out the scene?” El Apasionado Caballero wondered aloud.
He contemplated it for a moment longer, then shrugged and pranced over to it, completely unsuspecting. Romano leaned forward and held his breath. He was so close. So close. His heart was pounding so hard that it almost felt like it would explode when El Apasionado Caballero jimmied the lock and lifted the glass case slowly. Romano jumped up and cheered as the bars shot up out of the platform and clanged shut around the thief.
“Whoa, hey! What’s this?!” El Apasionado Caballero gasped.
“What’s it look like, dumb ass?!” Romano cackled, springing out of his hiding spot. “It’s a trap and you fell for it! God, you are so…”
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“Eh? What’s wrong, Romano?” El Apasionado Caballero asked, looking genuinely concerned. “Your face is looking pretty red… Do you have a fever?”
El Apasionado Caballero reached through the bars and touched Romano’s cheek softly, checking his temperature. Romano’s eyes slipped closed and he shuddered.
“D-don’t touch me!” he snapped, slapping El Apasionado Caballero’s hand away. “You… You’re in a cage and… I’ve won and you suck and now I… I never have to…”
Romano trailed off again as reality set in. This was it. If he captured El Apasionado Caballero, the thief would go to jail and the chase would be over permanently. No more planning traps, no more calling cards, no more long legged, overdressed, smooth-talking, taut-assed thief. It was over; he had really won. Suddenly Romano felt ill.
Meanwhile, El Apasionado Caballero was watching his face closely. His heart panged with a sort of sad, sweet joy when he saw the trepidation on Romano’s face as he realized that their time together was over. It was hard to tell with Romano sometimes because he was so grumpy, but now he had proof that Romano didn’t think as little of him as he said he did. El Apasionado Caballero knew that he couldn’t let things end this way.
He paced the cage, examining it carefully for any weaknesses. The bars weren’t very close together; perhaps there was hope for escape. El Apasionado Caballero turned, plucked the Faith Diamond from its display the pressed himself into the space between the bars. It was going to be a tight fit, but maybe… El Apasionado Caballero let all the breath out of his lungs to help make himself skinnier and began to squirm.
Romano was in a horrified trance over his realization and didn’t even notice what El Apasionado Caballero was doing. Sure he would be a hero after capturing this infamous thief, but it would be a hollow victory. Chasing El Apasionado Caballero had been the most thrilling thing he had done in his entire career. Would another thief that posed just as much of a challenge step up to take El Apasionado Caballero’s place once he was gone? Somehow the thought of this didn’t console Romano like he thought it would.
“There, there, little tomato, don’t be sad,” El Apasionado Caballero breathed, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into his embrace. “I can’t stand to see you so upset… I know! How about a cheer-up charm! Fusosososo… Fusosososo…”
Romano jumped, his eyes growing wide. “What…? How did you…? Why aren’t you…?”
“Oh, I squeezed out between the bars!” El Apasionado Caballero replied cheerfully. “It was kind of tough, but I made it!”
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“F-fucking pervert!” Romano screamed. “Hey, you shitty officers! The damn trap failed so get in here and help me catch him!”
“Oops, time to go!” the thief commented.
El Apasionado Caballero was already making for the exit, Romano hot on his trail as the other officers flooded into the room. It seemed that the thief wasn’t going to try for another smoke bomb exit and Romano was grateful for that. El Apasionado Caballero darted into the woods behind the museum, weaving wildly back and forth between the trees in hopes of losing the officers who were following him.
Some of the less fit officers were dropping away as they ran out of energy, but Romano wasn’t about to let him go. He purposely didn’t let on when he could help it, but he could run quite fast when it suited him. El Apasionado Caballero glanced back over his shoulder to see who was still behind him and grinned happily when he saw that only Romano was still on his tail.
That moment of distraction almost cost El Apasionado Caballero his life. He skidded to a halt just in time to avoid running right off a cliff. In his shock over almost having died, the Faith Diamond slipped from his fingers. Romano’s mouth fell open in a silent scream as he watched the diamond tumble over the edge of the cliff, moving as if it was falling in slow motion.
“Dumb ass!” he roared, launching himself forward and making a desperate snatch for it.
He overbalanced, missing the diamond and tumbled over the edge.
“ROMANO!!” El Apasionado Caballero screamed, dropping to his knees and peering over the brink. The detective was clutching a protruding tree branch for dear life.
“D-don’t just stand there, you b-b-bastard!” Romano sniffled, his eyes filling with terrified tears, his bottom lip trembling. “S-save me!”
El Apasionado Caballero was just extending Romano his hand when a little twinkle in the leaves of the tree branch that was keeping Romano from plunging to his death caught his eye. The diamond was caught in the foliage. El Apasionado Caballero shook his head minutely. The moment Romano released the branch, the diamond would be flung into oblivion, but he wasn’t about to risk Romano slipping just for a shiny rock.
El Apasionado Caballero pulled Romano up and into his arms, hugging him like his life depended on it. Romano was so petrified that he just trembled in El Apasionado Caballero’s arms, tears of relief spilling down his cheeks.
“Don’t ever do anything like that again!” El Apasionado Caballero scolded, shaking Romano. “You could have died!”
“Wh-what do you care?” Romano mumbled, blushing as he wiped his eyes on his sleeve. “I’m trying to put you in jail, moron. You should want me out of the way… Anyway, the diamond-”
“Is worthless to me compared to you! There are thousands, maybe millions of diamonds in this world but there’s only one sweet little Romano tomato!”
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