Untitled 2b/?
anonymous
December 21 2010, 02:38:29 UTC
“Romano!” Spain cried. “What are you doing?!”
Romano huffed and threw his broom to the floor. “I’m sweeping, damn it!” He shouted back. What the fuck was Spain’s problem anyway?!
Spain smacked his forehead. “That’s not how you sweep! You’re just sending the dust flying everywhere!” He walked over and picked up the broom. “Didn’t anyone teach you how to do this? They had to have… Veneziano knows.”
“Veneziano knows,” Romano mocked. He grabbed the broom from Spain’s hands and began to sweep it back and forth with all of his might. No matter how much effort he put into it, though, the dirt was still flying everywhere!
“No no no! Stop! Stop!” Spain rushed over and tried to retrieve the broom again, but Romano held on as tightly as he could. He shrieked as Spain jerked it upwards and Romano went flying with it. His grip wasn’t that good, and he couldn’t support his weight, and soon he was falling and landing hard against the floor. Romano gasped as pain shot up through his spine, and he picked himself up and darted out of the kitchen before Spain could see his tears.
He could hear Spain calling after him, but Romano hid inside a closet before he could find him. He rubbed his bottom and sniffled miserably. He was terrible at being a maid, even when he tried. And Spain yelled at him no matter what, so what point was there in making any effort at all? He already knew Spain wanted Veneziano instead of him. He had known from the beginning that Spain would, but his suspicions were only confirmed when Spain actually said it aloud to Austria. Well, damn it, that was fine with Romano. He didn’t like Spain anyways.
Maybe Spain was mostly nice. And maybe he made Romano really good food with lots of tomatoes, which were Romano’s favorite. Maybe his bedtime stories weren’t the worst, and maybe the game of hide and seek they played the other day was kind of, sort of, a little fun. But Spain didn’t like Romano, and so none of that really mattered. Romano couldn’t like someone who didn’t like him… it just… that just caused his heart to hurt a little too much.
The door opened, and Romano raised his head to meet Spain’s apologetic gaze. “Are you hurt?” Spain asked, anxiety evident in his voice. “I didn’t mean for you to fall like that. I’m so sorry, Romano.” He bent down and held out his arms for a hug. “Forgive me? It’s ok if you don’t know how to sweep. I’ll teach you.”
Romano swallowed hard. He didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t used to hugging, even though Spain tried to hug him all the time. Grandpa Rome hugged Veneziano a lot more than he hugged Romano, and Austria didn’t hug anyone. Twisting his hands into his skirt nervously, Romano said, “I-I don’t want to hug you, damn it.”
Spain gave Romano a sad smile and dropped his arms. “I understand. Are you ok, though?”
Romano wiped the last of his tears away and nodded. His heart ached more than anything. He kept messing up, and he knew it was only a matter of time before he had to pack up his things and leave. Spain grasped one of Romano’s hands in his and led him out of the closet.
The two walked along in silence, Romano’s heart fluttering at such warm and affectionate contact, when suddenly Spain stopped and exclaimed, “Oh!” Romano tried to find the source of Spain’s surprise, but suddenly he was scooped up into Spain’s arms, and Spain was smiling at him excitedly. “Romano!” he cried. “Did you do this?” He pointed towards a small vase of flowers that Romano had arranged.
They were wilting a bit, but the colors were bright and Romano thought he had done a pretty good job coordinating them. He nodded, and Spain looked unbelievably pleased.
“Beautiful! I love them!” Spain nuzzled Romano’s cheek, and it instantly caught on fire. He struggled for a moment to get away, but then decided to just let Spain cuddle him. Warmth spread through Romano’s tiny body, and he tentatively leaned his cheek against Spain’s.
Untitled 2c/?
anonymous
December 21 2010, 02:40:35 UTC
“Who are you?”
Romano stopped picking weeds and looked up in surprise. Then he realized he had actually just pulled out a flower again and cursed. Stupid flowers, having stems that got all tangled up in weeds and making it very hard to differentiate between the two. Spain said that if Romano actually kept up with his chores there wouldn’t be so many weeds to confuse him, but Romano hated chores. He was only weeding now because Spain told him that weeds made the flowers sad, and Romano liked flowers and figured that they had never really done anything to deserve a sad life.
But that was not the current issue at hand. The current issue was the very tall, very intimidating stranger that was demanding to know Romano’s identity.
“Who are you?” Romano countered. He kept the flower clutched in front of him like a shield.
The man raised an eyebrow and then bent down so that he was on eye-level with Romano. Romano’s attention was immediately drawn to the dark scar on the man’s forehead. He wondered if maybe this man was hit in the head with a book, like the one Romano threw at Spain’s head two weeks ago.
“I’m Netherlands,” the man replied. After a moment, “I didn’t know Spain had a maid.”
Romano frowned. “I’m not his maid,” he informed Netherlands. “I’m in charge of Spain, and he does everything I want him to do.” At least, it would be that way someday if Romano had his way.
Netherlands’ lips quirked for a brief moment. “Is that so? You certainly have an attitude on you, kid. What’s your name?”
Romano bit his lip, but then answered, “Romano.”
“Romano, huh? Well, Romano, what do you think of this guy you’re in charge of?”
It took a moment for Romano to realize Netherlands was talking about Spain. He wondered if Netherlands really believed Romano was the boss. “What do I think of him? W-well…” Romano picked at the leaves of his flower, trying to think of how he should respond. He didn’t think he was ready yet to accept the fact that maybe he had grown just the slightest bit attached to his stupid boss. “I don’t like him. He’s a jerk.”
“Oh yeah?” Netherlands smirked and reached out to pat Romano on the head. “I agree. But I have to see him anyway. Will you lead the way, Romano? You seem like a very sensible kid.”
Romano blushed. He had never been called sensible before. Nodding, he turned around and beckoned for Netherlands to follow. The two walked along in silence, Romano not sure what he could say to a man like this. When he was with Spain, conversation was easy. Spain always did most of the talking, and when he didn’t he always listened to Romano like he had something very important to say. Netherlands didn’t speak at all.
At least, not until this moment. “So you like flowers?”
Untitled 2d/?
anonymous
December 21 2010, 02:41:45 UTC
Romano startled slightly and wondered why Netherlands would ask him that until he realized he was still holding the poor flower from before, its roots dangling and dropping bits of dirt along the way to Spain. “Yes,” he responded awkwardly. He paused in front of the door to Spain’s office and knocked. Usually he just barged inside, but he felt like showing better manners in front of a guest.
“I’ll have to bring you some the next time I come over. Prettier ones than Spain’s, though, for a maid as pretty as you are.” Romano felt his cheeks heat at the compliment, and then the door was being opened and Spain and Netherlands exchanged smiles that didn’t look very sincere.
“Good to see you, Netherlands,” Spain said. Romano noted with smug satisfaction that he didn’t try to hug or kiss Netherlands like he did Romano. He obviously liked Romano more.
“Spain,” Netherlands replied. He glanced down at Romano and smirked. “Later, little maid.”
Netherlands quickly became a favorite of Romano’s. He was still a little scary, but he and Romano bonded over their irritation with Spain. And every time he had to meet with Spain, Netherlands brought a small bouquet of flowers for Romano, always fresh and lovely and fragrant. They were a girlish gift, but Romano still loved them. He didn’t receive gifts often, and they were always accompanied by a compliment.
Spain complimented him, too, to be fair. But it wasn’t the same. Netherlands didn’t have any sort of obligation towards Romano, like Spain did. So while it was pleasant to receive Spain’s praise, it didn’t hold the same thrill that receiving Netherlands’ did.
Romano rushed outside the moment he saw Netherlands’ horse approaching, and he began to sweep. Glancing upwards, he smirked when he saw the flowers in Netherlands’ hand and waited to preen at whatever compliment Netherlands decided to bestow on him that day.
Untitled 2e/?
anonymous
December 21 2010, 02:43:23 UTC
It had been a bad week. A very, very bad week. It had started with a vase that Romano broke by accident, and then for some reason he couldn’t seem to stop dropping things and breaking them. He had never been so clumsy before, and it was both frustrating and embarrassing. Spain yelled, Romano yelled back, and inevitably something else was broken, but that would always be on purpose. Soon Romano gave up and just stopped trying to clean, and that made Spain even more upset. The house looked terrible, Romano was miserable, Spain was irritated, and even tomatoes were becoming less tasty because Romano couldn’t enjoy them in such an awful atmosphere.
Romano was glaring at a desk, willing it to dust itself, when Spain walked in, dressed as if he were going out. Romano stood up in alarm. He didn’t know they were going out! He wasn’t ready!
“I’m going to see Austria,” Spain said coldly. “And Romano, I want this house clean by the time I get back. Is that understood?”
Romano stared at him in disbelief. Spain was going to see Austria without him? Why wasn’t he taking Romano to see his brother? “What the hell?” Romano demanded. “Why am I not going, too?”
Spain’s eye twitched. “Because you’ve been awful lately, and this is your punishment.” Romano clenched his fists, a familiar heat searing through him as he quickly lost control over his temper. He was prepared to headbutt Spain the moment he came over to give him his goodbye kiss, but then Spain turned and… and left.
Romano stood frozen as the front door closed and he heard Spain take off on his horses. A cold, sick feeling overtook his stomach and heart.
Then he lost control. With a cry of rage, Romano ran over and began tearing all of Spain’s books off his shelves, and as he grabbed them he made sure to get hold of one of Spain’s ceramic bookends and send it crashing to the floor, as well. It shattered into a dozen pieces. After throwing down every book he could reach, Romano stomped on all of them with every bit of strength he possessed in his tiny little body, and then ran across the room to grab a pen off of the desk and dip it in ink. He made a long sweeping gesture across the wall, and then paused to stare at the mark he made. It looked like a rainbow. He dipped the pen into the ink again and then added two marks on top of it. Now it looked like a frowning face. Romano dipped the pen again and then drew two fierce lines over the eyes of the frown. Now it looked angry, just like Romano.
Except Romano wasn’t as angry anymore. He looked guiltily at the wall and wondered what Spain would do to him when he found out what he did. Turning around, he surveyed the damage he had done to Spain’s books. Some of them were the fairy tales he had read to Romano several dozen times. Romano walked over and picked up one book with a dirty footprint on the cover. He placed it back on the shelf, and then placed every book back in its place, one by one.
Untitled 2f/?
anonymous
December 21 2010, 02:45:12 UTC
He wondered if Spain would remember that he forgot to kiss Romano good-bye. Romano walked over to the window and pulled himself onto the ledge, staring outside to see if Spain had turned his horses around and was riding back to apologize. After a few minutes passed, Romano got down again and looked at the desk that wouldn’t dust itself. He wondered why Spain was going to see Austria. He wondered if Spain would visit with Veneziano, too. He wondered if Veneziano kept Austria’s house as clean as Spain wanted Romano to keep his. He wondered why Veneziano didn’t drop things and struggle to do… everything, really.
Romano pulled himself back onto the ledge of the window and looked for Spain. How long had he been gone? Was he coming back yet?
An hour passed, and then another, and then Romano’s eyelids grew heavy. He wondered if Spain was ok. Maybe along the way to Austria’s he crossed paths with thieves who decided to beat him up and steal his money and carriage. Romano leaned against the window as his eyes fell closed. That was impossible, though. Spain was too strong to get beaten up. Why wasn’t he home yet?
It was dark outside when Romano woke to the sound of horses. His heart leapt in relief, and he jumped down from the window to run and greet Spain at the door. When he finally entered, Spain’s shoulders slumped, and his face took on a look of disappointment.
Romano was expecting him to say, ‘I’m sorry I forgot to say good-bye, and I’m sorry I was so mean and yelled at you.’ Instead, Spain sighed, “The house still hasn’t been cleaned. Of course.”
He walked right past Romano without even acknowledging his presence, and then suddenly Romano realized what had happened.
This… was it. Romano had messed up too many times, and Spain had reached his breaking point. It was bound to happen, and Romano knew this, but for some reason he thought that after Spain had kept him so long, maybe…
Swallowing hard against the painful lump he suddenly had in his throat, Romano managed to get his wobbly legs to lead him to his bedroom. There he pulled out his trunk and began to gather his things and place them inside. His clothes, a stuffed animal Spain had bought him, some books, some pictures he had drawn… Romano stared at one of his drawings. It was a roughly drawn sketch of him and Spain, standing under a bright, smiling sun. He pulled it back out and grabbed a pen to write ‘To Spain, Love Romano’ under the sun. With heated cheeks, he crossed out ‘Love’ and wrote ‘From’ instead. Spain would have this then and maybe remember happy times instead of how miserable Romano made him.
Romano scrubbed at his eyes as they threatened to leak tears. He wasn’t upset to leave this place. It would have been stupid to think that he wouldn’t have to eventually. Everyone wanted to get rid of him eventually. A tiny sob escaped, and Romano hurried to close the lid of his trunk before he could think too much about it.
He should have said he was sorry. He should have kept trying to clean the things he couldn’t break and just avoid the things he could. He shouldn’t have let Spain go see Austria because then he wouldn’t have seen Veneziano and realized he really had gotten the bad brother.
“Romano!” Spain’s voice called from downstairs. “Dinner’s ready!”
Spain was sitting at the table when Romano entered the kitchen. He looked tired, so Romano wasn’t very surprised to see that dinner was nothing elaborate. He took his place and realized that this would be the last time he and Spain would eat together. Despite having eaten next to nothing over the course of the day, Romano found he had no appetite. He wished he had never let Spain get close to him.
Untitled 2g/?
anonymous
December 21 2010, 02:46:12 UTC
Romano grabbed a tomato and bit into it. It was delicious. His eyes filled with tears as chewing became a struggle and then swallowing an impossibility. He sat there, mouth full of chewed tomato, as his body began to shake and tears burnt wet trails down his cheeks. Spain finally took notice when he sniffed loudly and tried to wipe his nose with his arm.
“Romano?” he asked, sounding startled.
Romano gave a sob and ended up choking. Spain was out of his seat in an instant and holding a napkin in front of Romano’s mouth so he could spit the disgusting mess of tomato out. He finally set the rest of the tomato down and folded his arms on the table, letting his head fall into them and crying.
“Romano? Romano, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
There were lots of reasons. Romano settled on, “I-I like tomatoes!”
Spain didn’t seem to know what to say in response to that. “You… you’re crying because you like tomatoes?”
Romano continued to sob miserably into his arms. “I don’t kn-know i-if… if… if-“ He took in a shuddering breath before continuing, “-if my next c-caretaker w-w-will have theeemm.”
Spain tried to make sense of that, but couldn’t. “Your next caretaker? What are you talking about?”
Romano lifted his flushed face to meet Spain’s confused gaze. “W-when you get r-rid of me.”
The thought turned Spain’s stomach. “Romano, I’m not getting rid of you,” he said. He reached over to lift Romano out of his chair and onto his lap. “Why would you think that?”
Romano blinked, some more tears escaping and slipping down his cheeks before he took on his own look of confusion. “You…” he tried to get his thoughts in order. Somehow he already felt calmer and safer in Spain’s arms. “Everybody always gets rid of me,” he admitted softly. He grabbed two handfuls of Spain’s shirt and buried his face in his chest. He didn’t want to leave.
Spain was quiet for a long time, and then Romano felt a hand gently weave its way through his hair. “That’s not true,” he murmured.
Romano’s lip trembled. “Y-yes it is,” he whimpered. “Veneziano’s the good one, and I’m th-the bad one.”
“No you’re not,” Spain replied as he continued his gentle petting. “You… you have bad days. Everybody has bad days.”
“Every d-day’s a bad day.”
“Now how could every day be a bad day when…” Spain’s voice grew shaky. “W-when you make me so happy?” Romano felt Spain’s arms tighten around him, and then Spain was burying his head into his neck. “Please don’t cry, Romano. I love you, even if we do have fights, and no matter what you do, it will never be enough to make me get rid of you. I know that I get mad sometimes, but… but you’re everything to me. I couldn’t just leave you.”
Romano’s heart was swollen and heavy in his chest. He didn’t try to fight Spain off. He didn’t want to. He wanted to be held and loved. He cried into Spain’s chest and after gathering enough courage, asked, “P... promise?” He trembled with the fear of rejection. “Promise you won’t… won’t leave me?”
“I swear on my life, I will never leave you Romano,” Spain murmured.
And a weight Romano didn’t even know he carried around with him was lifted. All of his flaws didn’t matter, and it didn’t matter that he wasn’t as good as Veneziano. It didn’t matter that he had drawn on Spain’s wall and stomped on his books. None of that was going to make Spain get rid of him. Romano could be bad and still have a home and a person to love him.
Romano asked later what that was. Spain gave him a soft smile and called it ‘unconditional love’.
Thank Yous
anonymous
December 21 2010, 02:56:15 UTC
*Under 1a*
Anon1: ^_^ Thank you! And never fear! While I have nothing against a well-written sad ending, I could never actually write one myself. It’ll probably be bittersweet at the worst ^_^;;
OP: =>_<= You give me too much credit for something as simple as this! But thank you so much! I’m really looking forward to writing this story because of all the complex emotions involved. At the same time, it’s definitely going to be a challenge! But if you like it so far, I’m very happy ^_^
Anon3: Thank you! I’m struggling a bit with how to write Romano’s feelings, but I’m glad you think I’ve portrayed them well!
Anon4: I’m definitely going to be taking advantage of the canon dislike Romano has for Germany and France ^_~ Thank you so much!!!
Anon5: Thank you! Now that finals are over I have 3 work-free weeks to write! :D
*Under 1a*
Anon1: Thank you so much! I think every character deserves to be written homophobic and in denial at some point ^_^ And Romano’s personality is so perfect for it! I hope you like the rest of the story!
Re: Thank Yous
anonymous
December 21 2010, 18:25:37 UTC
WHY IS THIS SO CUTE
and sad, but in a good way<3
Little!Romano being all "nobody loves me!" always breaks my heart, and you write him so well!
(About Netherlands... well, he has a loli complex, okay, but Romano is a male... unless... he has seen him only with the maid clothes, right? I don't like where this is heading... I mean I like it in the sense that I know it will break my heart, but still... :C)
Oh my this is so cute and yet so depressing. I love how you wrote Romano here, most people only put him as a brat with a foul-mouth, but also gave him a childish naivety that and included his fear of abandonment. Also end about unconditional love was just wonderfully done. <333
Also the Netherlands in here...I can't help but suspect that he'll be the instigator of the outcome that I know is gonna happen at the end of this flashback and just... ;A;
Re: Thank Yous
anonymous
December 23 2010, 03:18:36 UTC
Here are my heartstrings, see how you've pulled them. I liked the backstory here, all of Romano's insecurity. I'm curious to see how it'll morph into his homophobia. I hope the Netherlands' part isn't entwined with that... I really enjoyed how you had him interacting with Romano here. A lot. <3
Anon4 back again
anonymous
December 23 2010, 05:16:42 UTC
Spain, you are a terrible parent. (Don't tell rebellious teenagery children that you expect everything to be CLEAN when you get back. they don't like it.)
...but that's okay, because I'm not reading this for parent-child happy family interaction.
Re: Untitled 2g/?: DAW.
anonymous
December 21 2010, 03:20:40 UTC
Well, glad I was wrong. |3 Neth shouldn't have to be le pedo..
And this is SO ADORABLE. ಡuಡ It's been a while since I've sen Spamano that was IN CHARACTER. So I'll write a review well-worth an awesome story like this! *cracks knuckles*
For most cases, they make Roma a mega tsun-tsun character type, all 'ti amo' and affection; but I love the way you're slowly willing his feelings into a state of affection in a way that's actually believable. :3
As for Spagna, usually fandom writers make him an idiotic lovestruck fool. But the thing is, in canon, HE'S SPANISH. And from the Spanish people I know, Spain is Spanish even for a Spanish person. In a good way. Does that make sense? Spanish people are passionate, pacifistic, and have many other Spanish qualities you've captured~! Pretty much, you've put life into him.
I love your Spamano. Completely. It brings out that canon in the series~! :D I wanna see more of how Homophobic!Roma came to be, so update whenever you can! (・ω ・)
Re: Untitled 2g/?
anonymous
December 21 2010, 03:35:07 UTC
to the dark scar on the man’s forehead the first thing I thought was "it's harry potter!" lol sorry
Oh dear I have a feeling Netherlands might have something to do with his homophobia. The whole part with Romanito thinking he was gonna leave was so cute. I actually cried >_>. Thanks for updating!
Romano huffed and threw his broom to the floor. “I’m sweeping, damn it!” He shouted back. What the fuck was Spain’s problem anyway?!
Spain smacked his forehead. “That’s not how you sweep! You’re just sending the dust flying everywhere!” He walked over and picked up the broom. “Didn’t anyone teach you how to do this? They had to have… Veneziano knows.”
“Veneziano knows,” Romano mocked. He grabbed the broom from Spain’s hands and began to sweep it back and forth with all of his might. No matter how much effort he put into it, though, the dirt was still flying everywhere!
“No no no! Stop! Stop!” Spain rushed over and tried to retrieve the broom again, but Romano held on as tightly as he could. He shrieked as Spain jerked it upwards and Romano went flying with it. His grip wasn’t that good, and he couldn’t support his weight, and soon he was falling and landing hard against the floor. Romano gasped as pain shot up through his spine, and he picked himself up and darted out of the kitchen before Spain could see his tears.
He could hear Spain calling after him, but Romano hid inside a closet before he could find him. He rubbed his bottom and sniffled miserably. He was terrible at being a maid, even when he tried. And Spain yelled at him no matter what, so what point was there in making any effort at all? He already knew Spain wanted Veneziano instead of him. He had known from the beginning that Spain would, but his suspicions were only confirmed when Spain actually said it aloud to Austria. Well, damn it, that was fine with Romano. He didn’t like Spain anyways.
Maybe Spain was mostly nice. And maybe he made Romano really good food with lots of tomatoes, which were Romano’s favorite. Maybe his bedtime stories weren’t the worst, and maybe the game of hide and seek they played the other day was kind of, sort of, a little fun. But Spain didn’t like Romano, and so none of that really mattered. Romano couldn’t like someone who didn’t like him… it just… that just caused his heart to hurt a little too much.
The door opened, and Romano raised his head to meet Spain’s apologetic gaze. “Are you hurt?” Spain asked, anxiety evident in his voice. “I didn’t mean for you to fall like that. I’m so sorry, Romano.” He bent down and held out his arms for a hug. “Forgive me? It’s ok if you don’t know how to sweep. I’ll teach you.”
Romano swallowed hard. He didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t used to hugging, even though Spain tried to hug him all the time. Grandpa Rome hugged Veneziano a lot more than he hugged Romano, and Austria didn’t hug anyone. Twisting his hands into his skirt nervously, Romano said, “I-I don’t want to hug you, damn it.”
Spain gave Romano a sad smile and dropped his arms. “I understand. Are you ok, though?”
Romano wiped the last of his tears away and nodded. His heart ached more than anything. He kept messing up, and he knew it was only a matter of time before he had to pack up his things and leave. Spain grasped one of Romano’s hands in his and led him out of the closet.
The two walked along in silence, Romano’s heart fluttering at such warm and affectionate contact, when suddenly Spain stopped and exclaimed, “Oh!” Romano tried to find the source of Spain’s surprise, but suddenly he was scooped up into Spain’s arms, and Spain was smiling at him excitedly. “Romano!” he cried. “Did you do this?” He pointed towards a small vase of flowers that Romano had arranged.
They were wilting a bit, but the colors were bright and Romano thought he had done a pretty good job coordinating them. He nodded, and Spain looked unbelievably pleased.
“Beautiful! I love them!” Spain nuzzled Romano’s cheek, and it instantly caught on fire. He struggled for a moment to get away, but then decided to just let Spain cuddle him. Warmth spread through Romano’s tiny body, and he tentatively leaned his cheek against Spain’s.
*~*~*
Reply
Romano stopped picking weeds and looked up in surprise. Then he realized he had actually just pulled out a flower again and cursed. Stupid flowers, having stems that got all tangled up in weeds and making it very hard to differentiate between the two. Spain said that if Romano actually kept up with his chores there wouldn’t be so many weeds to confuse him, but Romano hated chores. He was only weeding now because Spain told him that weeds made the flowers sad, and Romano liked flowers and figured that they had never really done anything to deserve a sad life.
But that was not the current issue at hand. The current issue was the very tall, very intimidating stranger that was demanding to know Romano’s identity.
“Who are you?” Romano countered. He kept the flower clutched in front of him like a shield.
The man raised an eyebrow and then bent down so that he was on eye-level with Romano. Romano’s attention was immediately drawn to the dark scar on the man’s forehead. He wondered if maybe this man was hit in the head with a book, like the one Romano threw at Spain’s head two weeks ago.
“I’m Netherlands,” the man replied. After a moment, “I didn’t know Spain had a maid.”
Romano frowned. “I’m not his maid,” he informed Netherlands. “I’m in charge of Spain, and he does everything I want him to do.” At least, it would be that way someday if Romano had his way.
Netherlands’ lips quirked for a brief moment. “Is that so? You certainly have an attitude on you, kid. What’s your name?”
Romano bit his lip, but then answered, “Romano.”
“Romano, huh? Well, Romano, what do you think of this guy you’re in charge of?”
It took a moment for Romano to realize Netherlands was talking about Spain. He wondered if Netherlands really believed Romano was the boss. “What do I think of him? W-well…” Romano picked at the leaves of his flower, trying to think of how he should respond. He didn’t think he was ready yet to accept the fact that maybe he had grown just the slightest bit attached to his stupid boss. “I don’t like him. He’s a jerk.”
“Oh yeah?” Netherlands smirked and reached out to pat Romano on the head. “I agree. But I have to see him anyway. Will you lead the way, Romano? You seem like a very sensible kid.”
Romano blushed. He had never been called sensible before. Nodding, he turned around and beckoned for Netherlands to follow. The two walked along in silence, Romano not sure what he could say to a man like this. When he was with Spain, conversation was easy. Spain always did most of the talking, and when he didn’t he always listened to Romano like he had something very important to say. Netherlands didn’t speak at all.
At least, not until this moment. “So you like flowers?”
Reply
“I’ll have to bring you some the next time I come over. Prettier ones than Spain’s, though, for a maid as pretty as you are.” Romano felt his cheeks heat at the compliment, and then the door was being opened and Spain and Netherlands exchanged smiles that didn’t look very sincere.
“Good to see you, Netherlands,” Spain said. Romano noted with smug satisfaction that he didn’t try to hug or kiss Netherlands like he did Romano. He obviously liked Romano more.
“Spain,” Netherlands replied. He glanced down at Romano and smirked. “Later, little maid.”
Netherlands quickly became a favorite of Romano’s. He was still a little scary, but he and Romano bonded over their irritation with Spain. And every time he had to meet with Spain, Netherlands brought a small bouquet of flowers for Romano, always fresh and lovely and fragrant. They were a girlish gift, but Romano still loved them. He didn’t receive gifts often, and they were always accompanied by a compliment.
Spain complimented him, too, to be fair. But it wasn’t the same. Netherlands didn’t have any sort of obligation towards Romano, like Spain did. So while it was pleasant to receive Spain’s praise, it didn’t hold the same thrill that receiving Netherlands’ did.
Romano rushed outside the moment he saw Netherlands’ horse approaching, and he began to sweep. Glancing upwards, he smirked when he saw the flowers in Netherlands’ hand and waited to preen at whatever compliment Netherlands decided to bestow on him that day.
*~*~*
Reply
Romano was glaring at a desk, willing it to dust itself, when Spain walked in, dressed as if he were going out. Romano stood up in alarm. He didn’t know they were going out! He wasn’t ready!
“I’m going to see Austria,” Spain said coldly. “And Romano, I want this house clean by the time I get back. Is that understood?”
Romano stared at him in disbelief. Spain was going to see Austria without him? Why wasn’t he taking Romano to see his brother? “What the hell?” Romano demanded. “Why am I not going, too?”
Spain’s eye twitched. “Because you’ve been awful lately, and this is your punishment.” Romano clenched his fists, a familiar heat searing through him as he quickly lost control over his temper. He was prepared to headbutt Spain the moment he came over to give him his goodbye kiss, but then Spain turned and… and left.
Romano stood frozen as the front door closed and he heard Spain take off on his horses. A cold, sick feeling overtook his stomach and heart.
Then he lost control. With a cry of rage, Romano ran over and began tearing all of Spain’s books off his shelves, and as he grabbed them he made sure to get hold of one of Spain’s ceramic bookends and send it crashing to the floor, as well. It shattered into a dozen pieces. After throwing down every book he could reach, Romano stomped on all of them with every bit of strength he possessed in his tiny little body, and then ran across the room to grab a pen off of the desk and dip it in ink. He made a long sweeping gesture across the wall, and then paused to stare at the mark he made. It looked like a rainbow. He dipped the pen into the ink again and then added two marks on top of it. Now it looked like a frowning face. Romano dipped the pen again and then drew two fierce lines over the eyes of the frown. Now it looked angry, just like Romano.
Except Romano wasn’t as angry anymore. He looked guiltily at the wall and wondered what Spain would do to him when he found out what he did. Turning around, he surveyed the damage he had done to Spain’s books. Some of them were the fairy tales he had read to Romano several dozen times. Romano walked over and picked up one book with a dirty footprint on the cover. He placed it back on the shelf, and then placed every book back in its place, one by one.
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Romano pulled himself back onto the ledge of the window and looked for Spain. How long had he been gone? Was he coming back yet?
An hour passed, and then another, and then Romano’s eyelids grew heavy. He wondered if Spain was ok. Maybe along the way to Austria’s he crossed paths with thieves who decided to beat him up and steal his money and carriage. Romano leaned against the window as his eyes fell closed. That was impossible, though. Spain was too strong to get beaten up. Why wasn’t he home yet?
It was dark outside when Romano woke to the sound of horses. His heart leapt in relief, and he jumped down from the window to run and greet Spain at the door. When he finally entered, Spain’s shoulders slumped, and his face took on a look of disappointment.
Romano was expecting him to say, ‘I’m sorry I forgot to say good-bye, and I’m sorry I was so mean and yelled at you.’ Instead, Spain sighed, “The house still hasn’t been cleaned. Of course.”
He walked right past Romano without even acknowledging his presence, and then suddenly Romano realized what had happened.
This… was it. Romano had messed up too many times, and Spain had reached his breaking point. It was bound to happen, and Romano knew this, but for some reason he thought that after Spain had kept him so long, maybe…
Swallowing hard against the painful lump he suddenly had in his throat, Romano managed to get his wobbly legs to lead him to his bedroom. There he pulled out his trunk and began to gather his things and place them inside. His clothes, a stuffed animal Spain had bought him, some books, some pictures he had drawn… Romano stared at one of his drawings. It was a roughly drawn sketch of him and Spain, standing under a bright, smiling sun. He pulled it back out and grabbed a pen to write ‘To Spain, Love Romano’ under the sun. With heated cheeks, he crossed out ‘Love’ and wrote ‘From’ instead. Spain would have this then and maybe remember happy times instead of how miserable Romano made him.
Romano scrubbed at his eyes as they threatened to leak tears. He wasn’t upset to leave this place. It would have been stupid to think that he wouldn’t have to eventually. Everyone wanted to get rid of him eventually. A tiny sob escaped, and Romano hurried to close the lid of his trunk before he could think too much about it.
He should have said he was sorry. He should have kept trying to clean the things he couldn’t break and just avoid the things he could. He shouldn’t have let Spain go see Austria because then he wouldn’t have seen Veneziano and realized he really had gotten the bad brother.
“Romano!” Spain’s voice called from downstairs. “Dinner’s ready!”
Spain was sitting at the table when Romano entered the kitchen. He looked tired, so Romano wasn’t very surprised to see that dinner was nothing elaborate. He took his place and realized that this would be the last time he and Spain would eat together. Despite having eaten next to nothing over the course of the day, Romano found he had no appetite. He wished he had never let Spain get close to him.
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“Romano?” he asked, sounding startled.
Romano gave a sob and ended up choking. Spain was out of his seat in an instant and holding a napkin in front of Romano’s mouth so he could spit the disgusting mess of tomato out. He finally set the rest of the tomato down and folded his arms on the table, letting his head fall into them and crying.
“Romano? Romano, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
There were lots of reasons. Romano settled on, “I-I like tomatoes!”
Spain didn’t seem to know what to say in response to that. “You… you’re crying because you like tomatoes?”
Romano continued to sob miserably into his arms. “I don’t kn-know i-if… if… if-“ He took in a shuddering breath before continuing, “-if my next c-caretaker w-w-will have theeemm.”
Spain tried to make sense of that, but couldn’t. “Your next caretaker? What are you talking about?”
Romano lifted his flushed face to meet Spain’s confused gaze. “W-when you get r-rid of me.”
The thought turned Spain’s stomach. “Romano, I’m not getting rid of you,” he said. He reached over to lift Romano out of his chair and onto his lap. “Why would you think that?”
Romano blinked, some more tears escaping and slipping down his cheeks before he took on his own look of confusion. “You…” he tried to get his thoughts in order. Somehow he already felt calmer and safer in Spain’s arms. “Everybody always gets rid of me,” he admitted softly. He grabbed two handfuls of Spain’s shirt and buried his face in his chest. He didn’t want to leave.
Spain was quiet for a long time, and then Romano felt a hand gently weave its way through his hair. “That’s not true,” he murmured.
Romano’s lip trembled. “Y-yes it is,” he whimpered. “Veneziano’s the good one, and I’m th-the bad one.”
“No you’re not,” Spain replied as he continued his gentle petting. “You… you have bad days. Everybody has bad days.”
“Every d-day’s a bad day.”
“Now how could every day be a bad day when…” Spain’s voice grew shaky. “W-when you make me so happy?” Romano felt Spain’s arms tighten around him, and then Spain was burying his head into his neck. “Please don’t cry, Romano. I love you, even if we do have fights, and no matter what you do, it will never be enough to make me get rid of you. I know that I get mad sometimes, but… but you’re everything to me. I couldn’t just leave you.”
Romano’s heart was swollen and heavy in his chest. He didn’t try to fight Spain off. He didn’t want to. He wanted to be held and loved. He cried into Spain’s chest and after gathering enough courage, asked, “P... promise?” He trembled with the fear of rejection. “Promise you won’t… won’t leave me?”
“I swear on my life, I will never leave you Romano,” Spain murmured.
And a weight Romano didn’t even know he carried around with him was lifted. All of his flaws didn’t matter, and it didn’t matter that he wasn’t as good as Veneziano. It didn’t matter that he had drawn on Spain’s wall and stomped on his books. None of that was going to make Spain get rid of him. Romano could be bad and still have a home and a person to love him.
Romano asked later what that was. Spain gave him a soft smile and called it ‘unconditional love’.
*~*~*
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Anon1: ^_^ Thank you! And never fear! While I have nothing against a well-written sad ending, I could never actually write one myself. It’ll probably be bittersweet at the worst ^_^;;
OP: =>_<= You give me too much credit for something as simple as this! But thank you so much! I’m really looking forward to writing this story because of all the complex emotions involved. At the same time, it’s definitely going to be a challenge! But if you like it so far, I’m very happy ^_^
Anon3: Thank you! I’m struggling a bit with how to write Romano’s feelings, but I’m glad you think I’ve portrayed them well!
Anon4: I’m definitely going to be taking advantage of the canon dislike Romano has for Germany and France ^_~ Thank you so much!!!
Anon5: Thank you! Now that finals are over I have 3 work-free weeks to write! :D
*Under 1a*
Anon1: Thank you so much! I think every character deserves to be written homophobic and in denial at some point ^_^ And Romano’s personality is so perfect for it! I hope you like the rest of the story!
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and sad, but in a good way<3
Little!Romano being all "nobody loves me!" always breaks my heart, and you write him so well!
(About Netherlands... well, he has a loli complex, okay, but Romano is a male... unless... he has seen him only with the maid clothes, right? I don't like where this is heading... I mean I like it in the sense that I know it will break my heart, but still... :C)
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this is just really beautifully done and i think it's one of my favorite fills :)
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Also the Netherlands in here...I can't help but suspect that he'll be the instigator of the outcome that I know is gonna happen at the end of this flashback and just... ;A;
I cannot wait for next part!
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...but that's okay, because I'm not reading this for parent-child happy family interaction.
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Neth shouldn't have to be le pedo..
And this is SO ADORABLE. ಡuಡ
It's been a while since I've sen Spamano that was IN CHARACTER.
So I'll write a review well-worth an awesome story like this! *cracks knuckles*
For most cases, they make Roma a mega tsun-tsun character type, all 'ti amo' and affection; but I love the way you're slowly willing his feelings into a state of affection in a way that's actually believable. :3
As for Spagna, usually fandom writers make him an idiotic lovestruck fool. But the thing is, in canon, HE'S SPANISH. And from the Spanish people I know, Spain is Spanish even for a Spanish person. In a good way. Does that make sense? Spanish people are passionate, pacifistic, and have many other Spanish qualities you've captured~! Pretty much, you've put life into him.
I love your Spamano. Completely. It brings out that canon in the series~! :D
I wanna see more of how Homophobic!Roma came to be, so update whenever you can! (・ω ・)
-ABDH
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Oh dear I have a feeling Netherlands might have something to do with his homophobia. The whole part with Romanito thinking he was gonna leave was so cute. I actually cried >_>. Thanks for updating!
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I can't wait to read the next part!! ;A; <333
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FFFFFFFFFFFFFF- BUT THIS STORY IS AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU FOR UPDATING.
Now I shall finish reading it. :3
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