Re: Act Natural [1e/?]
anonymous
September 14 2010, 02:35:03 UTC
All Arthur could come up with was, “You read Japanese?” Yeah, that was good. Act like you're interested in the man intellectually and not just magically inspired by the thought of his dick. Just leave the porn out of the conversation entirely.
“Oh yeah,” Alfred said, going to pick up the pile of tools he'd set down near Arthur's desk. “I can read a bunch of different languages. French smut can get pretty intense too; those guys really know how to get dirty, you know. I mean, they did come up with the phrase menage a trois, after all. Which makes me wonder if you could change it up sometimes, call it a menage a sept or something, haha.”
That hadn't worked. That hadn't worked, at all. The logical side of Arthur's brain wibbled and then just shut down altogether in the face of this man's unwavering ability to bring any topic Arthur threw at him right back to porn. Seven people? My god, that sounded fucking hot-!
“Anyway, I'll send you the bill sometime in the next couple days. You can either come buy and pay in person, or send a check to us in the mail, doesn't matter.”
Alfred headed for the door while Arthur was still struggling to digest the abrupt turn from porn to billing, and the fact that the man was well versed in Arthur's genre of choice. Good lord, the man read porn. A lot of porn. Gay porn.
“Well, have a nice day, Mr. Kirkland!” Alfred said, giving Arthur a wink over his shoulder before waving his hand and disappearing from sight.
Arthur heard the heavy steps of his work boots going down the stairs, across the entryway and then heard the slam of the door as the man left. If he strained his ears, he could even hear the start of the truck's engine and the roar of it driving down the street.
After another few moments, Arthur snapped out of it.
“He's gay,” Arthur muttered, glancing around rapidly, mind racing. “The fucking repairman is fucking hot as hell and he's gay!”
T-two fills, two!? Its so amazing I love! Love! Love!
Oh god, Alfred. Alfred, oh jeez, 'I wonder if I read some of these~!'
and Arthurs, 'I need to break something else." Was awesome.
I loved it. And I love you. Seriously! I cant wait for the next update!xDDD You guys make me wanna draw fanart for you all!!! (And thats very hard for me to do that! :DD)
Re: Act Natural [1e/?]
anonymous
September 14 2010, 10:20:33 UTC
*___________*
I have never before giggled whilst nosebleeding, you should be proud! 8D
I'm loving this fill, do continue soon! o3o (I have a vague idea of who you are, author!non, but I best not hazard a guess just now in case I'm wrong x.x)
In any case: Love your prose, their characterization, and hnng Alfred's body is just a magnet for Arthur's gaze, innit? :Q___________
Re: Act Natural [1e/?]
anonymous
September 15 2010, 04:35:27 UTC
Okay
I skipped over this fill because the prompt bored me a little and deleted it from my inbox.
Then someone said something about it on tumblr so I checked it out just out of sheer boredom.
NO LONGER BORED.
I laughed, no seriously laughed by the end. That was hilarious, that was awkward, and if that's just the beginning premise I am so hooked. Just. Alfred. ASKHDAKSHD.
Re: Act Natural [1e/?]
anonymous
September 15 2010, 15:36:10 UTC
Hahaha, oh god, your Arthur is absolutely, fantastically perverted. Dear god, this fic is awesome and steaming hot, and I just realised I don't like England always witty; I can happily take an England sent into lustful incoherency and stupidity too. Alfred's comment about the "turgid cock" was lol, and I find it interesting that you're making him sound intelligent and read and versed in languages, and not obsessed with sexing up Arthur.
For some reason, the idea of Arthur being the one turned on like WHOA, while Alfred is just doing his job and being himselg is what makes this fic that much more awesome to me ^^
And you really made Alfred sound insanely hot, and that last line was wonderful, and is there gonna be a sevensome, please say yes
Act Natural [2a/?]
anonymous
September 16 2010, 00:12:57 UTC
x o x
Of course, it never occurred to Arthur that the repair shop that Alfred worked for might, in fact, have multiple men in their employ and that even if he did happen to accidentally flush a cherry bomb down his toilet, he wouldn't necessarily be graced by the sight of Alfred's glorious arse bent over as he attempted to fix the ensuing disaster.
Because when he went to answer the door, fully prepared to laughingly blame his broken toilet on the incredible and persisting nuisance that was his nephew, (he really did have a nephew, by the way; his name was Peter and he was fucking annoying as hell, so this fib wasn't a stretch. Not by a long shot.) he was sadly not greeted by shining blue eye, a killer smile, delectable muscles barely contained by a thin t-shirt, tanned skin that glistened in the sun - well. You get the idea.
It was actually, and rather depressingly, the exact opposite. This man had chocolate brown eyes and an intense scowl that twisted his mouth so viciously that Arthur wondered if the man even knew how to smile. The man stood there, arms crossed, foot tapping in obvious impatience.
“Kirkland?” he asked rudely, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes?” Arthur asked, unimpressed.
“Lovino Vargas,” he said, “I'm your repairman.”
There was a long pause, wherein Mr. Vargas managed to sink his brows even further into a truly frightening scowl, one that might even outdo Arthur's own impressive glare, and the Englishman tried to decide whether or not it was acceptable to turn the man away based purely on the fact that his arse didn't inspire poetry. Arthur liked to imagine he wasn't that big of a dick, though, despite his tendency to write about them (oh fuck, that pun was so bad it wasn't even worth laughing at in his sad, sad excuse for a brain right now) and so he opened the door further.
“Lovely,” Arthur said, deadpan, and led the man to the toilet that sorely needed to be fixed. He opened the door and the man just stood there, staring at the broken porcelain for long moments before looking at Arthur.
“What the fuck did you do?” he asked, frowning, and Arthur could just barely detect a hint of Italian in his accent, peeking out through his cussing.
“My nephew flushed a cherry bomb down the toilet,” Arthur explained, then turned. “Just fix it.”
“Oh yeah,” Alfred said, going to pick up the pile of tools he'd set down near Arthur's desk. “I can read a bunch of different languages. French smut can get pretty intense too; those guys really know how to get dirty, you know. I mean, they did come up with the phrase menage a trois, after all. Which makes me wonder if you could change it up sometimes, call it a menage a sept or something, haha.”
That hadn't worked. That hadn't worked, at all. The logical side of Arthur's brain wibbled and then just shut down altogether in the face of this man's unwavering ability to bring any topic Arthur threw at him right back to porn. Seven people? My god, that sounded fucking hot-!
“Anyway, I'll send you the bill sometime in the next couple days. You can either come buy and pay in person, or send a check to us in the mail, doesn't matter.”
Alfred headed for the door while Arthur was still struggling to digest the abrupt turn from porn to billing, and the fact that the man was well versed in Arthur's genre of choice. Good lord, the man read porn. A lot of porn. Gay porn.
“Well, have a nice day, Mr. Kirkland!” Alfred said, giving Arthur a wink over his shoulder before waving his hand and disappearing from sight.
Arthur heard the heavy steps of his work boots going down the stairs, across the entryway and then heard the slam of the door as the man left. If he strained his ears, he could even hear the start of the truck's engine and the roar of it driving down the street.
After another few moments, Arthur snapped out of it.
“He's gay,” Arthur muttered, glancing around rapidly, mind racing. “The fucking repairman is fucking hot as hell and he's gay!”
A pause.
“I need to break something else.”
Reply
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And the hip bone poking on low cut jeans? UNF
Reply
Or, if you prefer, let him BANG YOU.
/shot
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ILU SO HARD.
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T-two fills, two!? Its so amazing I love! Love! Love!
Oh god, Alfred. Alfred, oh jeez, 'I wonder if I read some of these~!'
and Arthurs, 'I need to break something else." Was awesome.
I loved it. And I love you. Seriously! I cant wait for the next update!xDDD You guys make me wanna draw fanart for you all!!! (And thats very hard for me to do that! :DD)
*Snickers* Oh Arthur and your sex god~!
*Sighs contently and goes back to reread*
Reply
Reply
Oh yes you do Arthur.
This looks amazing -firstauthor!anon- I'm glad some other people are doing this. Still I look forward to more. You're Arthur is so cute.
Reply
I have never before giggled whilst nosebleeding, you should be proud! 8D
I'm loving this fill, do continue soon! o3o (I have a vague idea of who you are, author!non, but I best not hazard a guess just now in case I'm wrong x.x)
In any case: Love your prose, their characterization, and hnng Alfred's body is just a magnet for Arthur's gaze, innit? :Q___________
I'll stop not making sense now. ♥
Reply
I'm intrigued nonetheless. >.>
Reply
OH ALFRED. Menage a sept what? I love your characterization of him! And I can totally see Arthur melting into a puddle for it.
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I love this anon, hot and funny!
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THIS. I
NEED more of this.
Reply
I skipped over this fill because the prompt bored me a little and deleted it from my inbox.
Then someone said something about it on tumblr so I checked it out just out of sheer boredom.
NO LONGER BORED.
I laughed, no seriously laughed by the end. That was hilarious, that was awkward, and if that's just the beginning premise I am so hooked. Just. Alfred. ASKHDAKSHD.
Reply
For some reason, the idea of Arthur being the one turned on like WHOA, while Alfred is just doing his job and being himselg is what makes this fic that much more awesome to me ^^
And you really made Alfred sound insanely hot, and that last line was wonderful, and is there gonna be a sevensome, please say yes
Reply
Of course, it never occurred to Arthur that the repair shop that Alfred worked for might, in fact, have multiple men in their employ and that even if he did happen to accidentally flush a cherry bomb down his toilet, he wouldn't necessarily be graced by the sight of Alfred's glorious arse bent over as he attempted to fix the ensuing disaster.
Because when he went to answer the door, fully prepared to laughingly blame his broken toilet on the incredible and persisting nuisance that was his nephew, (he really did have a nephew, by the way; his name was Peter and he was fucking annoying as hell, so this fib wasn't a stretch. Not by a long shot.) he was sadly not greeted by shining blue eye, a killer smile, delectable muscles barely contained by a thin t-shirt, tanned skin that glistened in the sun - well. You get the idea.
It was actually, and rather depressingly, the exact opposite. This man had chocolate brown eyes and an intense scowl that twisted his mouth so viciously that Arthur wondered if the man even knew how to smile. The man stood there, arms crossed, foot tapping in obvious impatience.
“Kirkland?” he asked rudely, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes?” Arthur asked, unimpressed.
“Lovino Vargas,” he said, “I'm your repairman.”
There was a long pause, wherein Mr. Vargas managed to sink his brows even further into a truly frightening scowl, one that might even outdo Arthur's own impressive glare, and the Englishman tried to decide whether or not it was acceptable to turn the man away based purely on the fact that his arse didn't inspire poetry. Arthur liked to imagine he wasn't that big of a dick, though, despite his tendency to write about them (oh fuck, that pun was so bad it wasn't even worth laughing at in his sad, sad excuse for a brain right now) and so he opened the door further.
“Lovely,” Arthur said, deadpan, and led the man to the toilet that sorely needed to be fixed. He opened the door and the man just stood there, staring at the broken porcelain for long moments before looking at Arthur.
“What the fuck did you do?” he asked, frowning, and Arthur could just barely detect a hint of Italian in his accent, peeking out through his cussing.
“My nephew flushed a cherry bomb down the toilet,” Arthur explained, then turned. “Just fix it.”
Reply
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