What's this about a new OTP? [1/3]
anonymous
September 13 2010, 00:20:36 UTC
Oh hai, fail writer anon here. Pretty nervous because this is my first fill...and I feel terrible because this is watersports related...I should be ashamed of myself.
Hope this is to your liking, and sorry if you run across any errors in this thing! orz
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America felt like he made the worst decision ever as soon as he agreed to be a designated driver…for England. He already knew that the older nation was prone to having sudden mood swings and odd moments of sudden affection, but this was not something he would ever expect to happen. America thought he was supposed to be used to this, but a drunken England was just as unpredictable and unexpected as Japan’s next subject for a rule 34.
The younger blond finally decided to poke his head in the bar to check on England. Blue eyes search from left to right, scanning the room very carefully until…
…he saw England spinning in circles on the bar stool. England was shouting some incoherent sentences and attracting the attention of the patrons nearby. America blinked a couple of times, wondering what he had got himself into. It was going to be another long night of unpredictable advances and rampant arm flailing, which America still hasn’t recovered from after last time. America straightened himself up, started towards England, and watched the older nation fall off the stool.
“America! What the bloody hell are you doing on the ceiling?!” England shouted as he tried to sit up. Naturally, America would have some snide response to England’s question, but words failed him. The younger blond smiled and helped England to his feet. “Let’s just get you home before something else happens to you, alright?” America took hold of the shorter man and helped him out of the bar. Then came the task of trying to get England to willingly sit in America’s car.
“Hey Alllll…” England drawled as he leaned against the taller nation. “…what are your plans for tonight?” He flashed a relatively cheesy smirk. “We could…you know…do that thing you do.” America coughed and managed to open his car door without any trouble from England. He started moving some of the stuff just so England could sit on a clean car seat for once. As soon as America turned around, England was nowhere to be seen.
“Hey, England! Where’d you go?”
“Nowhere, which is where I’m going…because I believe I am juuuuuuuuust fine!”
The way he kept drawling out on some of his words was making America question the older nation’s intentions. America looked around the street and blinked a couple of times before he saw England spinning around on one of the street lamp’s pole. Did England ever realize the things he did when drunk somewhat turn America on? Who knew? America frowned, picked up the drunken nation and stuffed him in the passenger’s side of his car. America then ran to the other side of his car, because he knew England had some evil trick up his-
SMUSH!
America squeaked and jumped back as soon as England plastered his face to the driver side of the window. The younger blond grabbed at his door handle and pulled. He pulled again just to make sure what had happened was really a joke.
“Hey! Hey, hey, hey! England! Not cool, man! Let me in! Open this door right now!”
England locked America out of his own car. His own car. America searched his pocket for his keys, but he couldn’t find those either. It was until England held them up and jingled them right there in America’s face. Sure, America could have used his superhuman strength, but he wasn’t about to break the door off his car for the third time this month. America groaned. He was going to have to bribe England if he was going to get back in his car…without damaging it.
“Englaaaaaaaaaaand,” America drawled out in the same manner England had done to him earlier. “Let me innnnnnn. Pleeeeeeeeease? I swear I’ll do anything for you if you just let me in!” He saw the older blond sit back in the passenger’s seat in a drunken stupor, then ponder for a moment. England looked back at America with a glint in his bright emerald eyes. America knew he probably made another mistake whenever he saw the expression on England’s face.
Re: What's this about a new OTP? [2/3]
anonymous
September 13 2010, 00:23:20 UTC
Once America heard the sound of the door unlocking, he got in and grabbed the keys from his drunken adversary. The blond stuck the key in the ignition, started up the car, fixed his glasses and put the car into gear right before England leaned over and nipped him on the ear. America yelped and almost floored the pedal in the process. “England, not now! I’m trying to get us home, alright?” England sat back in the passenger’s seat in a huff. “Fine, you bloody git.”
Typical behavior from the older blond. About halfway home, England demanded America take the more scenic route. America reluctantly agreed, but soon remembered it was a shortcut to his home anyways. England was looking out the window with a slightly content expression on his face, then he leaned his head back and stared at America. “Heeeeeey, America…I-I don’t know where my pants are.”
This resulted in America slamming on brakes and screaming out more incoherent words than England did at the bar. England snickered, then jumped out of the car. America yelled for him and had to give chase. He already figured it would be easy for him to catch the intoxicated blond, so he was in no hurry. He got out, closed his car door, walked around the back and-
He heard the car door close again. America let out a frustrated sigh, walked around to the front of the car and stared at England. America knew he fell for the same trick again, and it was making him mad. Apparently he was probably going to have to drag his car home this time. England then decided to almost crawl on top of America’s dashboard and stick his face against the windshield.
“England, you do know you’re making this hard for the both of us, right?”
England flashed a cheesy grin on his face and said, “Hey Alllllll…you know your steering wheel is so smooth, right? I mean, it’s the best bloody substitute for a pillow at night!”
America paid no mind to the comment until after it dawned on him. “England! GET OFF MY STEERING WHEEL! I PUT MY HANDS THERE!”
England snickered and shook his head. He was enjoying this way too much to stop. Besides, he already had this tingly feeling going on and who was he to ignore it? America ran to the driver’s door and pulled at the handle. Locked. He ran to the passenger’s side and pulled that handle. The door starts to open. America smirked. So he wasn’t completely duped for the second time in a row. The younger blond got in and was trying to dislodge England from his steering wheel, but it seems that the older man had a tight grip on the poor steering wheel.
England actually felt like he was close, but he wasn’t exactly sure what the source of his tingly feeling was. He thought he was probably aroused…or maybe he needed to pee. He wasn’t certain, but he knew for sure he wasn’t about to let go of that steering wheel. America felt like he already broken enough things on his car this month, so he just sat back and sulked while England violated his poor steering wheel. America just hoped if anything happened he would have enough hand sanitizer and napkins to attempt to even clean up the mess.
England’s tingly feeling started growing stronger, and he still wasn’t exactly sure what it was. So he decided it was probably best to ask America [not really, he just felt like asking the younger blond a question]. “Soooooo…America. I got this little feeling going on…”
America’s response was simply a raised eyebrow in question.
“…and I don’t really know what it is.”
America’s eyes widen as if he was beginning to become alarmed.
England opened his mouth to continue, but stopped. If the tingly feeling had nothing to do because of the steering wheel, then it had to be something else. He slowly realized what was going on, but he wasn’t about to admit to America that he needed to be rushed home so he could run to the bathroom. England cleared his throat and said, “Nevermind, it’s alright. I think I figured it out on my own. Now…we should probably start heading home!” He chuckled nervously and the two switched seats.
Re: What's this about a new OTP? [3a/3]
anonymous
September 13 2010, 00:24:58 UTC
The older blond realized he was a bit more desperate than from what he thought. As soon as he stepped out of the car he had to grab at himself for a moment before staggering to the other side of America’s car. He stopped again and whimpered for a moment, but it was low enough to not raise any alarm to America. The younger blond peered over at the Briton and decided to ask, “Is…something wrong, England?”
“Oh no, I’m just fine! Stop worrying about me you git!” England gave another nervous chuckle, but that wasn’t the best thing to do. As soon as he chuckled he felt a small leak. He quickly clutched himself again and managed to throw himself in America’s car all in one motion. America blinked in confusion and started looking for his keys. He thought he lost them, but he realized he absentmindedly took them out the ignition and set them on the back of his car.
“One moment, England, I need to get my keys.” America slowly got out of the car and grabbed his keys. The American then seemed to be spending time admiring the back of his car. England cursed under his breath as he squirmed more in his seat.
At this rate he probably wasn’t even going to make it to America’s house.
He grabbed himself even tighter when he felt an involuntary spurt. The Briton crossed his legs and whimpered a little louder. America had climbed back into the car and saw England looking a bit uncomfortable. In fact, he looked like he was about to burst into tears at any given second. It looked like England’s mood was about to change from extremely affectionate to very depressed. “Uhh…England…are you alright?”
“Me? For the umpteenth time, I’m just fine! Why the bloody hell are you so worried about me anyways?” Another nervous chuckle ensues, which was a bad idea again. England almost lost fight right then and there against nature calling, but he was able to stop himself. At least America wasn’t looking at the time it happened. The older blond sighed. He was beyond anxious, and he felt a small wet patch on his pants. All he needed to do was not laugh.
It was easier said than done, considering the fact he was drunk and seemed to be easily amused by anything happening tonight.
America started the drive once again. To break the silence at a red light, America felt it was necessary to show England a video of a person falling down the steps [although America wasn’t exactly sure why he found it really funny]. The American pulled out his phone, found the video and showed England. Normally, if the Briton wasn’t drunk, he wouldn’t have had found it in the least bit funny, but this video was enough to get England to laugh.
America sure knew how to take advantage of England’s humor when he was intoxicated. Since this was one of the longer red lights and rarely anyone drove on this road, the American decided it was time to dig for some other things to make England laugh. He turned on one of his lights that illuminated the whole car. The younger blond began digging under his seat to find something and then stopped as soon as he heard the Briton curse.
“England…is something wro-“
America cut himself off as he looked at the older nation. England whimpered as his bladder finally gave way. The flood gates were open and were obviously releasing a large amount of water. The Briton felt himself get warmer, and his cheeks flushed a very bright red color. This wasn’t happening. England couldn’t believe it. This was something little kids would do in their beds whenever they were six. He was no little kid. In fact, he couldn’t even understand.
Then he heard snickering from the American. England would have at least expected America to be upset about this whole ordeal, considering the fact it was his seat he unintentionally relieved himself in. The American looked at England, causing the older nation to blush an even brighter red.
“You know, England, they have these things called diapers, right?”
Re: What's this about a new OTP? [3b/3]
anonymous
September 13 2010, 00:26:30 UTC
Word count just punched me in the face on that one. Whoops.
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England awoke the next morning. His head felt like someone was trying to break a bunch of rocks with a bunch of other rocks. He thought he could hear some voices. He tried to pay attention for a bit, but gave up not too long after it made his headache hurt even worse. He soon felt himself drift off once again, though he wished he hadn’t.
He still didn’t feel any better when America ran into the room. “Hey, England! Japan says he has something for you. Think it’s some kind of fan fic or fanart or something…he told me that you should check your email later on today! Y’know, you should try checking it right now, because I kinda wanna see what it is!”
England groggily sat up. He really didn’t want to, but what was this urgent message about anyways? He spent about fifteen minutes in the bed trying to see if his headache would lighten up, but nothing happened. He groaned and finally headed to America’s computer whenever he saw the American bouncing around nearby it impatiently.
England decided to log on and check his email. Once he clicked the link, he really wished he hadn’t. He saw a quickly drawn sketch [probably by Japan] of himself…and a steering wheel. The Briton blinked several times with a blank expression on his face. Why would there be a picture of-
Oh.
America grinned. “So, yeah, after you wet your pants you kinda passed out and I just had to tell Japan this story! I mean, come on. I think it’s a good pairing! Although, Japan kinda found it funny about what you did in my car seat, but there’s another story for that…or was it a picture?”
The Briton blankly stared at the laptop as he saw more emails flow in from the other nations, one being from Germany asking a question about how long England was going to be with America’s steering wheel and another one from Japan saying that this was probably a much better couple that Germany and Herr Schtick.
Re: What's this about a new OTP? [3b/3]
anonymous
October 5 2010, 00:19:12 UTC
Unfortunately, quiet little ol' anon me blanked out not too long after finishing this and either forgot or probably didn't really know how because of blanking out.
Hope this is to your liking, and sorry if you run across any errors in this thing! orz
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America felt like he made the worst decision ever as soon as he agreed to be a designated driver…for England. He already knew that the older nation was prone to having sudden mood swings and odd moments of sudden affection, but this was not something he would ever expect to happen. America thought he was supposed to be used to this, but a drunken England was just as unpredictable and unexpected as Japan’s next subject for a rule 34.
The younger blond finally decided to poke his head in the bar to check on England. Blue eyes search from left to right, scanning the room very carefully until…
…he saw England spinning in circles on the bar stool. England was shouting some incoherent sentences and attracting the attention of the patrons nearby. America blinked a couple of times, wondering what he had got himself into. It was going to be another long night of unpredictable advances and rampant arm flailing, which America still hasn’t recovered from after last time. America straightened himself up, started towards England, and watched the older nation fall off the stool.
“America! What the bloody hell are you doing on the ceiling?!” England shouted as he tried to sit up. Naturally, America would have some snide response to England’s question, but words failed him. The younger blond smiled and helped England to his feet. “Let’s just get you home before something else happens to you, alright?” America took hold of the shorter man and helped him out of the bar. Then came the task of trying to get England to willingly sit in America’s car.
“Hey Alllll…” England drawled as he leaned against the taller nation. “…what are your plans for tonight?” He flashed a relatively cheesy smirk. “We could…you know…do that thing you do.” America coughed and managed to open his car door without any trouble from England. He started moving some of the stuff just so England could sit on a clean car seat for once. As soon as America turned around, England was nowhere to be seen.
“Hey, England! Where’d you go?”
“Nowhere, which is where I’m going…because I believe I am juuuuuuuuust fine!”
The way he kept drawling out on some of his words was making America question the older nation’s intentions. America looked around the street and blinked a couple of times before he saw England spinning around on one of the street lamp’s pole. Did England ever realize the things he did when drunk somewhat turn America on? Who knew? America frowned, picked up the drunken nation and stuffed him in the passenger’s side of his car. America then ran to the other side of his car, because he knew England had some evil trick up his-
SMUSH!
America squeaked and jumped back as soon as England plastered his face to the driver side of the window. The younger blond grabbed at his door handle and pulled. He pulled again just to make sure what had happened was really a joke.
“Hey! Hey, hey, hey! England! Not cool, man! Let me in! Open this door right now!”
England locked America out of his own car. His own car. America searched his pocket for his keys, but he couldn’t find those either. It was until England held them up and jingled them right there in America’s face. Sure, America could have used his superhuman strength, but he wasn’t about to break the door off his car for the third time this month. America groaned. He was going to have to bribe England if he was going to get back in his car…without damaging it.
“Englaaaaaaaaaaand,” America drawled out in the same manner England had done to him earlier. “Let me innnnnnn. Pleeeeeeeeease? I swear I’ll do anything for you if you just let me in!” He saw the older blond sit back in the passenger’s seat in a drunken stupor, then ponder for a moment. England looked back at America with a glint in his bright emerald eyes. America knew he probably made another mistake whenever he saw the expression on England’s face.
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Typical behavior from the older blond.
About halfway home, England demanded America take the more scenic route. America reluctantly agreed, but soon remembered it was a shortcut to his home anyways. England was looking out the window with a slightly content expression on his face, then he leaned his head back and stared at America. “Heeeeeey, America…I-I don’t know where my pants are.”
This resulted in America slamming on brakes and screaming out more incoherent words than England did at the bar. England snickered, then jumped out of the car. America yelled for him and had to give chase. He already figured it would be easy for him to catch the intoxicated blond, so he was in no hurry. He got out, closed his car door, walked around the back and-
He heard the car door close again. America let out a frustrated sigh, walked around to the front of the car and stared at England. America knew he fell for the same trick again, and it was making him mad. Apparently he was probably going to have to drag his car home this time. England then decided to almost crawl on top of America’s dashboard and stick his face against the windshield.
“England, you do know you’re making this hard for the both of us, right?”
England flashed a cheesy grin on his face and said, “Hey Alllllll…you know your steering wheel is so smooth, right? I mean, it’s the best bloody substitute for a pillow at night!”
America paid no mind to the comment until after it dawned on him. “England! GET OFF MY STEERING WHEEL! I PUT MY HANDS THERE!”
England snickered and shook his head. He was enjoying this way too much to stop. Besides, he already had this tingly feeling going on and who was he to ignore it? America ran to the driver’s door and pulled at the handle. Locked. He ran to the passenger’s side and pulled that handle. The door starts to open. America smirked. So he wasn’t completely duped for the second time in a row. The younger blond got in and was trying to dislodge England from his steering wheel, but it seems that the older man had a tight grip on the poor steering wheel.
England actually felt like he was close, but he wasn’t exactly sure what the source of his tingly feeling was. He thought he was probably aroused…or maybe he needed to pee. He wasn’t certain, but he knew for sure he wasn’t about to let go of that steering wheel. America felt like he already broken enough things on his car this month, so he just sat back and sulked while England violated his poor steering wheel. America just hoped if anything happened he would have enough hand sanitizer and napkins to attempt to even clean up the mess.
England’s tingly feeling started growing stronger, and he still wasn’t exactly sure what it was. So he decided it was probably best to ask America [not really, he just felt like asking the younger blond a question]. “Soooooo…America. I got this little feeling going on…”
America’s response was simply a raised eyebrow in question.
“…and I don’t really know what it is.”
America’s eyes widen as if he was beginning to become alarmed.
England opened his mouth to continue, but stopped. If the tingly feeling had nothing to do because of the steering wheel, then it had to be something else. He slowly realized what was going on, but he wasn’t about to admit to America that he needed to be rushed home so he could run to the bathroom. England cleared his throat and said, “Nevermind, it’s alright. I think I figured it out on my own. Now…we should probably start heading home!” He chuckled nervously and the two switched seats.
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“Oh no, I’m just fine! Stop worrying about me you git!” England gave another nervous chuckle, but that wasn’t the best thing to do. As soon as he chuckled he felt a small leak. He quickly clutched himself again and managed to throw himself in America’s car all in one motion. America blinked in confusion and started looking for his keys. He thought he lost them, but he realized he absentmindedly took them out the ignition and set them on the back of his car.
“One moment, England, I need to get my keys.” America slowly got out of the car and grabbed his keys. The American then seemed to be spending time admiring the back of his car. England cursed under his breath as he squirmed more in his seat.
At this rate he probably wasn’t even going to make it to America’s house.
He grabbed himself even tighter when he felt an involuntary spurt. The Briton crossed his legs and whimpered a little louder. America had climbed back into the car and saw England looking a bit uncomfortable. In fact, he looked like he was about to burst into tears at any given second. It looked like England’s mood was about to change from extremely affectionate to very depressed. “Uhh…England…are you alright?”
“Me? For the umpteenth time, I’m just fine! Why the bloody hell are you so worried about me anyways?” Another nervous chuckle ensues, which was a bad idea again. England almost lost fight right then and there against nature calling, but he was able to stop himself. At least America wasn’t looking at the time it happened. The older blond sighed. He was beyond anxious, and he felt a small wet patch on his pants. All he needed to do was not laugh.
It was easier said than done, considering the fact he was drunk and seemed to be easily amused by anything happening tonight.
America started the drive once again. To break the silence at a red light, America felt it was necessary to show England a video of a person falling down the steps [although America wasn’t exactly sure why he found it really funny]. The American pulled out his phone, found the video and showed England. Normally, if the Briton wasn’t drunk, he wouldn’t have had found it in the least bit funny, but this video was enough to get England to laugh.
America sure knew how to take advantage of England’s humor when he was intoxicated. Since this was one of the longer red lights and rarely anyone drove on this road, the American decided it was time to dig for some other things to make England laugh. He turned on one of his lights that illuminated the whole car. The younger blond began digging under his seat to find something and then stopped as soon as he heard the Briton curse.
“England…is something wro-“
America cut himself off as he looked at the older nation. England whimpered as his bladder finally gave way. The flood gates were open and were obviously releasing a large amount of water. The Briton felt himself get warmer, and his cheeks flushed a very bright red color. This wasn’t happening. England couldn’t believe it. This was something little kids would do in their beds whenever they were six. He was no little kid. In fact, he couldn’t even understand.
Then he heard snickering from the American. England would have at least expected America to be upset about this whole ordeal, considering the fact it was his seat he unintentionally relieved himself in. The American looked at England, causing the older nation to blush an even brighter red.
“You know, England, they have these things called diapers, right?”
“…shut up.”
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Whoops.
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England awoke the next morning. His head felt like someone was trying to break a bunch of rocks with a bunch of other rocks. He thought he could hear some voices. He tried to pay attention for a bit, but gave up not too long after it made his headache hurt even worse. He soon felt himself drift off once again, though he wished he hadn’t.
He still didn’t feel any better when America ran into the room. “Hey, England! Japan says he has something for you. Think it’s some kind of fan fic or fanart or something…he told me that you should check your email later on today! Y’know, you should try checking it right now, because I kinda wanna see what it is!”
England groggily sat up. He really didn’t want to, but what was this urgent message about anyways? He spent about fifteen minutes in the bed trying to see if his headache would lighten up, but nothing happened. He groaned and finally headed to America’s computer whenever he saw the American bouncing around nearby it impatiently.
England decided to log on and check his email. Once he clicked the link, he really wished he hadn’t. He saw a quickly drawn sketch [probably by Japan] of himself…and a steering wheel. The Briton blinked several times with a blank expression on his face. Why would there be a picture of-
Oh.
America grinned. “So, yeah, after you wet your pants you kinda passed out and I just had to tell Japan this story! I mean, come on. I think it’s a good pairing! Although, Japan kinda found it funny about what you did in my car seat, but there’s another story for that…or was it a picture?”
The Briton blankly stared at the laptop as he saw more emails flow in from the other nations, one being from Germany asking a question about how long England was going to be with America’s steering wheel and another one from Japan saying that this was probably a much better couple that Germany and Herr Schtick.
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Although I really do appreciate the comment, thanks! c:
And blame my twisted sense of humor. It seems to get me somewhere at times.
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omfg, that was HILARIOUS!!! I loved it!!
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Thank you, though! Glad you loved it! :D
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