Re: You Take Me In (2/?)
anonymous
September 9 2010, 18:00:02 UTC
At that, his eyes tore away from the ceiling and fell into a deep frown as he turned he sat up to stare down at his former charge with what he hoped was his “cut the shite” face. “You had a point, America. I suggest you make it quickly.”
The younger nation looked back, all smiles lost as he tried and failed several times to articulate himself, mouth opening then closing with out words. England was about to demand he speak or get the hell out of his room when America pulled the blankets closer to himself and rolled over with his back facing England.
“You know what... Just forget I said anything,” America spoke muffled against the pillow, the next few words muffled, but England could make out “stupid” and “wasn't thinking.”
He frown and tried to get America to look back at him again, shaking his shoulder's roughly. “No you don't. You woke me up to ask me something personal, you had better give me a reason not to strangle you for it.”
“Just forget it, alright?” America hissed, still refusing to move.
“What was the point of making me recall my early years? Were you just trying to mock me again?”
“No!” America finally turned around, startling England and apparently himself when he straightened up, nose almost brushing against the older man's. England was further surprised to see his cheeks color when America bit his lip and added. “That wasn't the point I was trying to make.”
“Then you better clarify,” murmured England, watching America as he brought his hands up to finger through his hair uncomfortable from the look his old warden was giving him.
“It's just that- Lately, I-”
America paused and England shook his head. “The truth, Alfred.”
At the use of his human name, the younger blonde sighed and dropped his hands from his hair with a slight sigh. “Sometimes... I think about those days ,too. Not the Empire as a whole, though. Just-” America wet his lips and continued. “Just what it meant for me. What it drove me to do.”
“If you bring up your bloody Revolution, so help me, Amer-”
“England, please.”
The tone wasn't combative at all, and effectively made England fall silent. But he wasn't kidding about the Revolution. It was a subject he never discussed with America because it hurt too much, made his head throb and heart ache. But it also made him think of the “what ifs.” And while those were significantly less painful, the guilt he felt for having such thoughts was too much for him to deal with, especially now.
“During that time... before the that happened, I was- I was confused.” America's eyes looked distant, older now as though the memories of the past forced him to grow up in the seconds that he was recalling them. “I wanted my freedom... I needed that. For myself. So tha - so that I could grow.
“But part of me wanted to stay put,” America continued with a wistful smile. “That part of me would have been happy if the war never happened at all, if I never had my freedom. Because I wanted to be with you- wanted you.”
England release a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding When sky blue eyes met his.
“I wanted you to have me.”
America was serious... Oh God he- he was absolutely seriously about this. Every word he said.
“Do you think about that, too, England?”
England cleared his throat, slowly admitting his own guilty pleasure. “I... have thought about that possibility myself.”
“A lot,” America whispered.
England nodded slowly, licking his lips. “Frequently.”
“... So do I.”
They stared at each other for a while, neither looking away or moving apart. Apart from their own shallow breathing, the rain continued to fall. Finally America spoke.
The younger nation looked back, all smiles lost as he tried and failed several times to articulate himself, mouth opening then closing with out words. England was about to demand he speak or get the hell out of his room when America pulled the blankets closer to himself and rolled over with his back facing England.
“You know what... Just forget I said anything,” America spoke muffled against the pillow, the next few words muffled, but England could make out “stupid” and “wasn't thinking.”
He frown and tried to get America to look back at him again, shaking his shoulder's roughly. “No you don't. You woke me up to ask me something personal, you had better give me a reason not to strangle you for it.”
“Just forget it, alright?” America hissed, still refusing to move.
“What was the point of making me recall my early years? Were you just trying to mock me again?”
“No!” America finally turned around, startling England and apparently himself when he straightened up, nose almost brushing against the older man's. England was further surprised to see his cheeks color when America bit his lip and added. “That wasn't the point I was trying to make.”
“Then you better clarify,” murmured England, watching America as he brought his hands up to finger through his hair uncomfortable from the look his old warden was giving him.
“It's just that- Lately, I-”
America paused and England shook his head. “The truth, Alfred.”
At the use of his human name, the younger blonde sighed and dropped his hands from his hair with a slight sigh. “Sometimes... I think about those days ,too. Not the Empire as a whole, though. Just-” America wet his lips and continued. “Just what it meant for me. What it drove me to do.”
“If you bring up your bloody Revolution, so help me, Amer-”
“England, please.”
The tone wasn't combative at all, and effectively made England fall silent. But he wasn't kidding about the Revolution. It was a subject he never discussed with America because it hurt too much, made his head throb and heart ache. But it also made him think of the “what ifs.” And while those were significantly less painful, the guilt he felt for having such thoughts was too much for him to deal with, especially now.
“During that time... before the that happened, I was- I was confused.” America's eyes looked distant, older now as though the memories of the past forced him to grow up in the seconds that he was recalling them. “I wanted my freedom... I needed that. For myself. So tha - so that I could grow.
“But part of me wanted to stay put,” America continued with a wistful smile. “That part of me would have been happy if the war never happened at all, if I never had my freedom. Because I wanted to be with you- wanted you.”
England release a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding When sky blue eyes met his.
“I wanted you to have me.”
America was serious... Oh God he- he was absolutely seriously about this. Every word he said.
“Do you think about that, too, England?”
England cleared his throat, slowly admitting his own guilty pleasure. “I... have thought about that possibility myself.”
“A lot,” America whispered.
England nodded slowly, licking his lips. “Frequently.”
“... So do I.”
They stared at each other for a while, neither looking away or moving apart. Apart from their own shallow breathing, the rain continued to fall. Finally America spoke.
“Do you wanna find out?”
Reply
Leave a comment