Re: Provoking America [10/?] Short chapter is short
anonymous
August 13 2010, 07:20:09 UTC
“Alfred!” Arthur exclaimed, shocked, and slightly scared by the homicidal, but so very hurt look in the younger nation’s eyes. “This…this isn’t…” he began, but didn’t even bother finishing the sentence. It was a lie and they both knew it.
“Don’t you dare fucking tell me that this isn’t what it looks like, England.” Alfred shouted, spitting out his name-no, his country name as if it were poisonous. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” he continued. “And really? Russia? You’re so pathetic,” he said, and the pure, unadulterated venom in his voice made Arthur want to cry, because he was right. He was so very right.
“Alfred, I-” he began, but Alfred had already cut him off.
“No. Don’t even start with me!” Alfred said, beyond furious. “I hate you! I hate you!” he said, feeling tears prick at his eyes, but he refused to allow them to fall.
Arthur fell silent and stared at his lap, biting his lip hard, trying to focus on the pain as the skin tore and his teeth drew blood, rather than what Alfred was saying to him. He had never said that before. Not even during his Revolution and to hear it now was the worst thing Arthur could imagine. The words echoed in his head, growing louder and louder, and it was growing increasingly difficult
Alfred was upset. More upset than he had ever be before. Why had Arthur done this? Arthur had... had slept with Russia?! And he had shown off in front of him... Despite what Taiwan had told him, about getting there in time, he hadn't been able to do that... What was the point? Arthur didn't want him... "I hate you... H-How could you?!" His voice started to crack and he bit his bottom lip, trying to calm down.
"Alfred!" Arthur said, desperately trying to find any shard of hope to cling on to. He had messed up and he had messed up badly. The logical part of his brain knew that he had gone to far and that the relationship was unsalvageable, but there was a part of him that refused to give up.
"Why do you care?" and there was the part of his brain that had encouraged him to go through with the plan in the first place, butting in where it was unwanted. "Really, I want to know." he said, knowing he was just digging himself a deeper grave, but finding himself unable to stop the words falling out of his mouth.
Alfred tensed up and looked up at Arthur, his eyes watering. "You still don't know?!" How could Arthur not know? How could he not see how jealous Alfred was?
Blue eyes widened as Alfred realized what he had just realized. All this time, he had been jealous of all the people Arthur had been sleeping with. That was why he had tried to use Taiwan was a way to make Arthur jealous in return. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Alfred went over to the bed, leaned down, and captured Arthur's lips in a kiss.
Arthur was just opening his mouth to say 'No, I bloody well do not know why, so would you please explain it to me, you git!' when he was cut off by a pair of lips. Specifically Alfred's lips descending down upon his own. It wasn't the first time it had happened but the implications were deeper.
How had he not figured it out before?
Then again, how did he know that Alfred wasn't just fucking around with him, just like everyone else on the goddamn planet?
But the thought didn't stop him from threading his fingers through Alfred's hair, clenching the strands in his fists and kissing back fiercely. This was his last chance. His last chance to make amends for what he had done. He wasn't going to fuck it up this time.
Feeling the fingers in his hair, Alfred pressed closer to Arthur, climbing onto the bed and straddling his lap. He moved his own fingers in Arthur's messy hair, pulling him closer, kissing him deeper. How could Arthur have not realized...? Had he really not made it clear enough?
Arthur allowed himself to be lowered back onto the bed for the second time that night, holding back a wince as a shooting pain erupted in his pelvis and lower back. Ivan had hardly been gentle with him, but he shoved the thought to the back of his mind. He did not want to think about the Russian when Alfred, that stupid fucking perfect git was currently on top of him with his tongue in Arthur's mouth.
Re: Provoking America [10/?] Short chapter is short
anonymous
August 13 2010, 07:23:04 UTC
Alfred pulled back briefly for air, kissing Arthur's cheek and then moving down to kiss his neck, ignoring the mark Ivan had made. It still made him furious to know that Ivan had done all of this with Arthur... Trying not to think of it, he pulled back slightly, running a hand down Arthur's chest as he kissed him again.
Arthur arched his back lightly as Alfred's lips found their way to his neck, and as the two pulled back Suddenly very conscious of his own nudity, Arthur moved to start unbuttoning Alfred's shirt, before stopping. He was halfway through the third button, when he looked up at Alfred nervously, silently asking if it was okay.
Alfred nodded, a tiny smile trying to make it's way onto his face. He wanted his shirt off as well, wanted to be closer to Arthur as well. His hands tangled themselves in Arthur's messy hair, kissing him deeply. Right now, his mind had practically shut down, all his rage and sadness vanishing when he had kissed Arthur.
Arthur let a small smile grace his own features for a short moment as Alfred smiled at him for the first time in months. He quickly got to work on the rest of the buttons before pushing the shirt back over Alfred's shoulders, reveling in the sight before him.
He lifted his head to press his lips to Alfred's collarbone as his hands slipped between them to the buttons on Alfred's pants.
Shrugging the shirt off as best as he could without removing his hands from Arthur's skin, Alfred shifted closer. He shivered at the feeling of Arthur's lips on his chest. His hand made its way down Arthur's body, brushing against his growing erection before moving down between his legs.
He quickly pushed Alfred's pants and boxers down his hips, leaving them at his knees for Alfred to shake off himself. He pressed himself flush against his former colony, Alfred's erection rubbing against his own groin, quickly arousing his own. He kissed Alfred once more, trying to convey all his guilt and apologies to him through it.
Shifting around a little, Alfred tried to move his pants down. He carefully pushed Arthur's legs apart while kissing him back. But he was brought to a startling halt when he felt something wet and sticky between Arthur's legs. Pulling back, he looked down and wanted to be sick. There was blood mixed with cum on Arthur's legs and what he had walked in on came crashing back to him. "I... I can't."
Arthur looked at him strangely for a moment. "What?" he asked, pulling away slightly before looking down. "Fuck." he hissed upon seeing the sticky mess between his legs. "That asshole." He nearly vomited at the sight of the blood himself. He knew Ivan had been rough but he hadn't realized how badly.
When he managed to stop feeling bad for himself, he looked up at the disgusted, horrified look on Alfred's face and realized, once again, that it was all his fault anyway.
"Alfred, I'm sorry." he said, reaching out to touch the other nation's hand, but knew before he could even get close that Alfred wouldn't want to touch him again.
Alfred stared at his hand in horror before wiping it off on the bed sheets, backing away from Arthur. He pulled up his pants and fixed his shirt, looking around nervously. "N-No... Arthur, take care of yourself, okay? Get better..."
Re: Provoking America [10c/?] above is 10b
anonymous
August 13 2010, 07:28:48 UTC
He couldn't touch Arthur like this... Not when he was still covered in Ivan's cum... It made him want to throw up and he continued to back away. "I'm sorry... I just can't!"
"Alfred, wait!" he called, but he was too late. Alfred was already leaving, all but sprinting out the door." England slid off the bed, landing on his ass and wincing as another pain shot up through his spine. He allowed himself to sit there a moment, before forcing himself to stand and walk across the room to the bathroom.
He needed to clean himself off. He felt disgusting, both literally and figuratively. He turned on the spray, and stood stock still for a moment, allowing the water to crawl down his skin before, finally, allowing tears to fall.
Alfred ran out of the hotel room and he didn't stop until he reached his own room. Locking the door behind him, he flopped down on the bed and screamed into his pillow. He had run away... He showed have stayed and helped Arthur! But it was too late now... Punching the pillow, he grumbled to himself, not knowing what was going to happen next. He needed some time to think...
*****
Well...that didn't turn out quite like I intended. It was supposed to be angrier but it ended up really sweet. I figured it was okay though, and I hope you like it fine too! Sorry to a) update so slowly. author!non has been very busy and b) leave it so short, but we decided it was a good place to end this chapter. Like, it's the end of this part of the story. The deception is over and shit...Oh yeah, like...9 paragraphs in is where my friend turns into Al. yeah. Anyway, leave a comment~!
Re: Provoking America [10c/?] above is 10b
anonymous
August 13 2010, 08:44:36 UTC
Poor Arthur!
I really wish they'd just talk to each other instead of messing themselves up over everything. Now Alfred's probably going to feel that he's not as good as England's other lovers and England's going to feel all used and dirty and not good enough for America.
Re: Provoking America [10c/?] above is 10b
anonymous
August 13 2010, 14:08:03 UTC
I'm...I'm so happy it wans't angry! ;_; It's angsty enough without the anger, and really, both have been playing the jealousy game, Arthur only took it further because that's the only way he knows how to do it and his illusions and hopes are more destroyed than Alfred's, if only due to his age...I felt so so bad for both of them here! Please, please, make them happy at the end!
author!anon
anonymous
August 31 2010, 04:39:51 UTC
don't worry! i've already decided how i'm going to end it and it will be happy despite the lack of smut. I think it will take awhile for either of them to be comfortable taking their relationship to that level again :(
Re: Provoking America [10c/?] above is 10b
anonymous
August 14 2010, 00:44:41 UTC
I finally got home and was ready to read this, and what a great reading! I'm happy the deception is over, but heart breaks for poor England. He kind of screwed up, but he's just lonely and, well, clueless.
Re: Provoking America [10c/?] above is 10b
anonymous
August 14 2010, 18:53:45 UTC
Like one of the anons said, I was angsty enough, even without the anger ;A;
This anon was the one feeling upset with England, but now I just feel sad for him, it wasn't Alfred's intention to leave but things happened, and now Arthur might be thinking the worst about himself. Every action has a consecuence, and now he'll have to deal with it.
I feel bad for America too, baw, I just feel bad for both of them. Now they know what they feel for eachother, but even if that's a huge step for them, it won't be enough after all the mistakes they did, it does help a lot though. At first I thought Alfred really needed his space, but now I think they both need it. They need their space to deal with their own fears and problems before trying to get in a relationship.
OP is back!~ xD
anonymous
August 24 2010, 07:44:47 UTC
Heys... I finally was able to check out the fill after a long evil time away from the computer. [I got a job and still had many stupid AP summer assignments to finish... I'm still not done with stupid summer work and school starts for me... in two days. 8P] But anyway I just wanted to say that you and your friend... are amazing! I really love the way you write the character's actions and reactions to everything. That and the amazing sex scenes! <3 Just awesome! I really love how it's turning out. The angst for this part totally made up for the lack of anger and such as those who've posted before me have said. ^_^ I can't wait to see the next part! Until then... I think I'm going to go back and reread the fill again. 8D ~Happy Writing ~!
author!anon
anonymous
August 31 2010, 04:46:43 UTC
HI OP! SORRY I DISAPPEARED FOR SO LONG <3 Getting ready for college is stressful! ;~; But I'm glad that you got yourself a job! I hope it's a better experience than my first job was! And good luck with school! I don't move in until sunday :)
Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you still like it even though I've deviated from the prompt a bit. I'm about to post the next part! don't you worry! and yayyy! I'm glad you like it enough to reread it <3
Re: Provoking America [11/?] author!anon is back!
anonymous
August 31 2010, 04:50:50 UTC
Hi guys! I am so sorry it took me so long to get this up! I really wasn't sure what to write, plus I've been so busy what with getting ready for college :/ *hides head in shame* But believe me, I have been thinking about it the whole time and was berating myself for not getting it done so tonight after work i sat myself down and was like. "Okay. You are going to write this TONIGHT." and here I am! I hope you guys are still reading it!
Something big had happened, and while everyone knew, no one had a clue what exactly it was. The void expression on England’s face when he entered the room had put everyone on edge, whether they realized it or not. No one besides America had known Russia was going to England’s hotel room the night before everything changed, so no one thought to ask him and he kept his mouth shut, though the smug smirk on his face was enough to frighten anyone who came in contact with him.
England was sitting quietly in his chair, willing the meeting to start, though everyone else was content to sit and talk amongst themselves. He knew he would simply have to wait for Germany to get fed up with the noise and begin the meeting like he usually did. And he wouldn’t have to wait long it seemed.
“Please take your seats so we may start the meeting!” Germany bellowed above the din. “Where is America?” he asked as the room quieted down.
Everyone but England looked around the room curiously at the question before the sound of a door opening drew their attention.
“Right here.” America mumbled as he walked into the conference room. “Sorry I’m late,” he continued before shuffling over to his seat. He hadn’t slept a wink all night.
All the nations looked at each other, the same surprised expression adorning all their faces at America’s disheveled appearance and lack of energy, as well as England’s complete silence. Rather than standing and yelling at America for being late, he had remained in his seat, staring at the papers in front of him as if they were the most interesting things in the world, though his eyes weren’t moving and they could tell he wasn’t reading them.
The two of them refused to look at each other as America took his seat and Germany cleared his throat awkwardly.
“Uh…great. Now we can…get started. China, you have a report on over population?”
*****
“I need to talk to you.” Alfred said quietly as he walked over to where Arthur was sitting during lunch break, drinking but not tasting his tea.
“There’s nothing to talk about.” Arthur said. ‘You hate me. What else is there to say?’
“Please talk to me, Arthur,” he said tentatively. He didn’t know how to handle this. He was supposed to have shown up last night before that…that commie bastard had a chance to touch Arthur. He was supposed to get there just in time and save England and throw Russia out in such a heroic way that Arthur would just fall into his arms and they would kiss and confess their undying love for each other and it would have been a perfect Hollywood ending.
Then again, Arthur hated Hollywood.
But he wasn’t supposed to come in as Russia left to confess, only to find Arthur soiled with Russia’s cum and he certainly wasn’t supposed to run away like a frightened child. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do anymore.
“Look Alfred.” Arthur began, and Alfred broke out of his reverie, looking at Arthur hopefully. “There’s nothing to say. You seemed to understand that last night,” he said, the unspoken words ‘when you left’ hanging in the air.
Re: Provoking America [11b/?]
anonymous
August 31 2010, 04:53:07 UTC
He stopped himself before he could say anything he would regret and took a deep breath. He took a deep breath. “Why?”
“Why what?” Arthur said coldly.
“Why did you do it? I’m not just talking about Russia, and don’t pretend you don’t know what I mean.”
“Why does it matter?” Arthur countered, afraid to explain himself now that he was sure Alfred hated him. He wouldn’t deny the fact that the boy deserved answers, but Arthur also knew that he wasn’t able to give them. Not without falling apart himself.
‘Even if I did tell you, would it really matter? You’d just find me even more pathetic and walk away.’
He didn’t deserve someone as innocent and caring as Alfred. He didn’t need Alfred to remind him of that fact.
“The past is just that. The past. We can’t change it.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s time to go back to the meeting.” Arthur said tonelessly, standing up and throwing out his tea that had since gone cold in the nearest trash can.
“Arthur-”
“Stop it, Alfred.” Arthur said, gritting his teeth and steeling himself against his own emotions. “Why don’t you go take Taiwan out for dinner again. I’m sure she’d be glad to go with you. At least she doesn't have all the excess baggage. Don’t dawdle on your way to the meeting. You shouldn’t be late twice in one day.”
And with that, he turned on his heel and left America alone in the food court.
*
Arthur got no satisfaction out of Alfred listening to him and getting back to the meeting on time. The two of them still refused to look at each other and at this point, Alfred seemed to be refusing to look at anyone else as well.
The entire day seemed to be an awkward mess of meetings. No one seemed to know what to do with themselves when they weren’t being interrupted by one of America’s crazy schemes, which were in turn interrupted by England’s ridicule. The speeches were shorter than usual without the normal disruptions and even Germany didn’t object when Francis suggested they adjourn the meeting early when Poland, the last scheduled speaker, finished his presentation.
Arthur was grateful for the opportunity to leave. It was the last day of the meetings and he wouldn’t have to see Alfred for another few months. Plenty of time for them both to move on, he assured himself, hoping that he could believe that soon enough.
“Mon cher.”
Arthur sighed and turned around to face the French bastard. He had been so close to escape too. The elevator was only a few feet away.
“Come. Walk with me. We’ll take the stairs.” Francis said, offering his hand to Arthur.
Re: Provoking America [11c/?]
anonymous
August 31 2010, 04:56:10 UTC
Arthur ignored his hand but turned to walk toward the staircase anyway. It was sure to be less crowded than the elevator and Francis would still bother him either way.
“Arthur. Tell me what happened.” Francis said quietly once they were alone in the stairwell.
“What do you think happened?” Arthur snapped.
“I don’t know. It’s the truth mon cher. No one knows, but everyone is curious.”
“Oh, so you want me to tell you so you can go and spread the news to everyone about how badly I fucked up and how much Alfred hates me?” Arthur said, whipping around to face Francis. “This is all your fault, you damn wine bastard,” he hissed. “I hate you. I bloody hate you!” he said, willing himself to forget how Alfred had said almost the exact same thing to him the previous night.
“It is not me that you hate.” Francis said, his tone gentle but admonishing.
“Yes it is!” Arthur yelled, but he knew he was lying. And he knew that Francis knew it as well. “None of this would have happened if you hadn’t egged me on!”
“And since when do you listen to me?” Francis said, anger flashing in his eyes. This wasn’t his fault, dammit! “I never told you to go this far. Besides, you could have ignored me in the first place! You wouldn’t have done this if you didn’t want to. Don’t pin the blame on me. None of this would have happened if you weren’t such a cowardly fool.”
Arthur turned around and walked away, choosing not to acknowledge that he was merely proving Francis right by doing this.
*****
Alfred stared at his empty suitcase and the clothes that surrounded it on the bed. It felt as if packing away his clothes would be so final. That leaving the hotel would really mean that it was over and that Arthur was never going to love him.
And why would he? Arthur probably wanted someone more mature than him anyway. With all that experience who would want someone like Alfred? Before that first night with Arthur when he had stopped him from trying anything with Matthew, Alfred could count the number of times he’d had sex on less than five fingers. Arthur probably wanted someone that he knew could keep up with him in those more…intimate activities.
Sighing he lifted the first pair of slacks and tossed them haphazardly back into his suitcase. The rest of his suits followed suit and he took some childish pleasure at the thought of how much Arthur would hate the fact that he didn’t fold his clothing before packing it away.
He wasn’t what Arthur wanted anyway so why try?
With that thought, he packed the rest of his belongings and with one last backward glance into his room, shut the door behind him before dropping his key card off at the front desk.
And when he saw Israel doing the same thing, he thought, ‘Why not?’
“Hey Israel!”
*****
I hope you guys liked it :D don't worry, America is not about to go pull an England and go have sex with Israel. He's just trying to distance himself from England by hanging out with different nations :)
“Don’t you dare fucking tell me that this isn’t what it looks like, England.” Alfred shouted, spitting out his name-no, his country name as if it were poisonous. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” he continued. “And really? Russia? You’re so pathetic,” he said, and the pure, unadulterated venom in his voice made Arthur want to cry, because he was right. He was so very right.
“Alfred, I-” he began, but Alfred had already cut him off.
“No. Don’t even start with me!” Alfred said, beyond furious. “I hate you! I hate you!” he said, feeling tears prick at his eyes, but he refused to allow them to fall.
Arthur fell silent and stared at his lap, biting his lip hard, trying to focus on the pain as the skin tore and his teeth drew blood, rather than what Alfred was saying to him. He had never said that before. Not even during his Revolution and to hear it now was the worst thing Arthur could imagine. The words echoed in his head, growing louder and louder, and it was growing increasingly difficult
Alfred was upset. More upset than he had ever be before. Why had Arthur done this? Arthur had... had slept with Russia?! And he had shown off in front of him... Despite what Taiwan had told him, about getting there in time, he hadn't been able to do that... What was the point? Arthur didn't want him... "I hate you... H-How could you?!" His voice started to crack and he bit his bottom lip, trying to calm down.
"Alfred!" Arthur said, desperately trying to find any shard of hope to cling on to. He had messed up and he had messed up badly. The logical part of his brain knew that he had gone to far and that the relationship was unsalvageable, but there was a part of him that refused to give up.
"Why do you care?" and there was the part of his brain that had encouraged him to go through with the plan in the first place, butting in where it was unwanted. "Really, I want to know." he said, knowing he was just digging himself a deeper grave, but finding himself unable to stop the words falling out of his mouth.
Alfred tensed up and looked up at Arthur, his eyes watering. "You still don't know?!" How could Arthur not know? How could he not see how jealous Alfred was?
Blue eyes widened as Alfred realized what he had just realized. All this time, he had been jealous of all the people Arthur had been sleeping with. That was why he had tried to use Taiwan was a way to make Arthur jealous in return. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Alfred went over to the bed, leaned down, and captured Arthur's lips in a kiss.
Arthur was just opening his mouth to say 'No, I bloody well do not know why, so would you please explain it to me, you git!' when he was cut off by a pair of lips. Specifically Alfred's lips descending down upon his own. It wasn't the first time it had happened but the implications were deeper.
How had he not figured it out before?
Then again, how did he know that Alfred wasn't just fucking around with him, just like everyone else on the goddamn planet?
But the thought didn't stop him from threading his fingers through Alfred's hair, clenching the strands in his fists and kissing back fiercely. This was his last chance. His last chance to make amends for what he had done. He wasn't going to fuck it up this time.
Feeling the fingers in his hair, Alfred pressed closer to Arthur, climbing onto the bed and straddling his lap. He moved his own fingers in Arthur's messy hair, pulling him closer, kissing him deeper. How could Arthur have not realized...? Had he really not made it clear enough?
Arthur allowed himself to be lowered back onto the bed for the second time that night, holding back a wince as a shooting pain erupted in his pelvis and lower back. Ivan had hardly been gentle with him, but he shoved the thought to the back of his mind. He did not want to think about the Russian when Alfred, that stupid fucking perfect git was currently on top of him with his tongue in Arthur's mouth.
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Arthur arched his back lightly as Alfred's lips found their way to his neck, and as the two pulled back Suddenly very conscious of his own nudity, Arthur moved to start unbuttoning Alfred's shirt, before stopping. He was halfway through the third button, when he looked up at Alfred nervously, silently asking if it was okay.
Alfred nodded, a tiny smile trying to make it's way onto his face. He wanted his shirt off as well, wanted to be closer to Arthur as well. His hands tangled themselves in Arthur's messy hair, kissing him deeply. Right now, his mind had practically shut down, all his rage and sadness vanishing when he had kissed Arthur.
Arthur let a small smile grace his own features for a short moment as Alfred smiled at him for the first time in months. He quickly got to work on the rest of the buttons before pushing the shirt back over Alfred's shoulders, reveling in the sight before him.
He lifted his head to press his lips to Alfred's collarbone as his hands slipped between them to the buttons on Alfred's pants.
Shrugging the shirt off as best as he could without removing his hands from Arthur's skin, Alfred shifted closer. He shivered at the feeling of Arthur's lips on his chest. His hand made its way down Arthur's body, brushing against his growing erection before moving down between his legs.
He quickly pushed Alfred's pants and boxers down his hips, leaving them at his knees for Alfred to shake off himself. He pressed himself flush against his former colony, Alfred's erection rubbing against his own groin, quickly arousing his own. He kissed Alfred once more, trying to convey all his guilt and apologies to him through it.
Shifting around a little, Alfred tried to move his pants down. He carefully pushed Arthur's legs apart while kissing him back. But he was brought to a startling halt when he felt something wet and sticky between Arthur's legs. Pulling back, he looked down and wanted to be sick. There was blood mixed with cum on Arthur's legs and what he had walked in on came crashing back to him. "I... I can't."
Arthur looked at him strangely for a moment. "What?" he asked, pulling away slightly before looking down. "Fuck." he hissed upon seeing the sticky mess between his legs. "That asshole." He nearly vomited at the sight of the blood himself. He knew Ivan had been rough but he hadn't realized how badly.
When he managed to stop feeling bad for himself, he looked up at the disgusted, horrified look on Alfred's face and realized, once again, that it was all his fault anyway.
"Alfred, I'm sorry." he said, reaching out to touch the other nation's hand, but knew before he could even get close that Alfred wouldn't want to touch him again.
Alfred stared at his hand in horror before wiping it off on the bed sheets, backing away from Arthur. He pulled up his pants and fixed his shirt, looking around nervously. "N-No... Arthur, take care of yourself, okay? Get better..."
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"Alfred, wait!" he called, but he was too late. Alfred was already leaving, all but sprinting out the door." England slid off the bed, landing on his ass and wincing as another pain shot up through his spine. He allowed himself to sit there a moment, before forcing himself to stand and walk across the room to the bathroom.
He needed to clean himself off. He felt disgusting, both literally and figuratively. He turned on the spray, and stood stock still for a moment, allowing the water to crawl down his skin before, finally, allowing tears to fall.
Alfred ran out of the hotel room and he didn't stop until he reached his own room. Locking the door behind him, he flopped down on the bed and screamed into his pillow. He had run away... He showed have stayed and helped Arthur! But it was too late now... Punching the pillow, he grumbled to himself, not knowing what was going to happen next. He needed some time to think...
*****
Well...that didn't turn out quite like I intended. It was supposed to be angrier but it ended up really sweet. I figured it was okay though, and I hope you like it fine too! Sorry to a) update so slowly. author!non has been very busy and b) leave it so short, but we decided it was a good place to end this chapter. Like, it's the end of this part of the story. The deception is over and shit...Oh yeah, like...9 paragraphs in is where my friend turns into Al. yeah. Anyway, leave a comment~!
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I really wish they'd just talk to each other instead of messing themselves up over everything. Now Alfred's probably going to feel that he's not as good as England's other lovers and England's going to feel all used and dirty and not good enough for America.
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and yes he is :(
thanks for the comment! sorry it took so long to reply!
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It's angsty enough without the anger, and really, both have been playing the jealousy game, Arthur only took it further because that's the only way he knows how to do it and his illusions and hopes are more destroyed than Alfred's, if only due to his age...I felt so so bad for both of them here! Please, please, make them happy at the end!
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sorry it took so long for me to reply to this!!
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*sobs*
Loved it!
Glee!Anon
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*hugs*
*offers tissues*
<333
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This anon was the one feeling upset with England, but now I just feel sad for him, it wasn't Alfred's intention to leave but things happened, and now Arthur might be thinking the worst about himself. Every action has a consecuence, and now he'll have to deal with it.
I feel bad for America too, baw, I just feel bad for both of them. Now they know what they feel for eachother, but even if that's a huge step for them, it won't be enough after all the mistakes they did, it does help a lot though. At first I thought Alfred really needed his space, but now I think they both need it. They need their space to deal with their own fears and problems before trying to get in a relationship.
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And oh believe me, Alfred's running out on Iggy definitely made things more confusing D: they're starting to get space at the end of this chapter <3
thanks for the comment! sorry it took so long to reply!
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But anyway I just wanted to say that you and your friend... are amazing! I really love the way you write the character's actions and reactions to everything. That and the amazing sex scenes! <3 Just awesome!
I really love how it's turning out. The angst for this part totally made up for the lack of anger and such as those who've posted before me have said. ^_^ I can't wait to see the next part! Until then... I think I'm going to go back and reread the fill again. 8D
~Happy Writing ~!
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Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you still like it even though I've deviated from the prompt a bit. I'm about to post the next part! don't you worry! and yayyy! I'm glad you like it enough to reread it <3
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Something big had happened, and while everyone knew, no one had a clue what exactly it was. The void expression on England’s face when he entered the room had put everyone on edge, whether they realized it or not. No one besides America had known Russia was going to England’s hotel room the night before everything changed, so no one thought to ask him and he kept his mouth shut, though the smug smirk on his face was enough to frighten anyone who came in contact with him.
England was sitting quietly in his chair, willing the meeting to start, though everyone else was content to sit and talk amongst themselves. He knew he would simply have to wait for Germany to get fed up with the noise and begin the meeting like he usually did. And he wouldn’t have to wait long it seemed.
“Please take your seats so we may start the meeting!” Germany bellowed above the din. “Where is America?” he asked as the room quieted down.
Everyone but England looked around the room curiously at the question before the sound of a door opening drew their attention.
“Right here.” America mumbled as he walked into the conference room. “Sorry I’m late,” he continued before shuffling over to his seat. He hadn’t slept a wink all night.
All the nations looked at each other, the same surprised expression adorning all their faces at America’s disheveled appearance and lack of energy, as well as England’s complete silence. Rather than standing and yelling at America for being late, he had remained in his seat, staring at the papers in front of him as if they were the most interesting things in the world, though his eyes weren’t moving and they could tell he wasn’t reading them.
The two of them refused to look at each other as America took his seat and Germany cleared his throat awkwardly.
“Uh…great. Now we can…get started. China, you have a report on over population?”
*****
“I need to talk to you.” Alfred said quietly as he walked over to where Arthur was sitting during lunch break, drinking but not tasting his tea.
“There’s nothing to talk about.” Arthur said. ‘You hate me. What else is there to say?’
“Please talk to me, Arthur,” he said tentatively. He didn’t know how to handle this. He was supposed to have shown up last night before that…that commie bastard had a chance to touch Arthur. He was supposed to get there just in time and save England and throw Russia out in such a heroic way that Arthur would just fall into his arms and they would kiss and confess their undying love for each other and it would have been a perfect Hollywood ending.
Then again, Arthur hated Hollywood.
But he wasn’t supposed to come in as Russia left to confess, only to find Arthur soiled with Russia’s cum and he certainly wasn’t supposed to run away like a frightened child. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do anymore.
“Look Alfred.” Arthur began, and Alfred broke out of his reverie, looking at Arthur hopefully. “There’s nothing to say. You seemed to understand that last night,” he said, the unspoken words ‘when you left’ hanging in the air.
“That’s not fair!” Alfred said angrily. “That’s…”
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“Why what?” Arthur said coldly.
“Why did you do it? I’m not just talking about Russia, and don’t pretend you don’t know what I mean.”
“Why does it matter?” Arthur countered, afraid to explain himself now that he was sure Alfred hated him. He wouldn’t deny the fact that the boy deserved answers, but Arthur also knew that he wasn’t able to give them. Not without falling apart himself.
‘Even if I did tell you, would it really matter? You’d just find me even more pathetic and walk away.’
He didn’t deserve someone as innocent and caring as Alfred. He didn’t need Alfred to remind him of that fact.
“The past is just that. The past. We can’t change it.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s time to go back to the meeting.” Arthur said tonelessly, standing up and throwing out his tea that had since gone cold in the nearest trash can.
“Arthur-”
“Stop it, Alfred.” Arthur said, gritting his teeth and steeling himself against his own emotions. “Why don’t you go take Taiwan out for dinner again. I’m sure she’d be glad to go with you. At least she doesn't have all the excess baggage. Don’t dawdle on your way to the meeting. You shouldn’t be late twice in one day.”
And with that, he turned on his heel and left America alone in the food court.
*
Arthur got no satisfaction out of Alfred listening to him and getting back to the meeting on time. The two of them still refused to look at each other and at this point, Alfred seemed to be refusing to look at anyone else as well.
The entire day seemed to be an awkward mess of meetings. No one seemed to know what to do with themselves when they weren’t being interrupted by one of America’s crazy schemes, which were in turn interrupted by England’s ridicule. The speeches were shorter than usual without the normal disruptions and even Germany didn’t object when Francis suggested they adjourn the meeting early when Poland, the last scheduled speaker, finished his presentation.
Arthur was grateful for the opportunity to leave. It was the last day of the meetings and he wouldn’t have to see Alfred for another few months. Plenty of time for them both to move on, he assured himself, hoping that he could believe that soon enough.
“Mon cher.”
Arthur sighed and turned around to face the French bastard. He had been so close to escape too. The elevator was only a few feet away.
“Come. Walk with me. We’ll take the stairs.” Francis said, offering his hand to Arthur.
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“Arthur. Tell me what happened.” Francis said quietly once they were alone in the stairwell.
“What do you think happened?” Arthur snapped.
“I don’t know. It’s the truth mon cher. No one knows, but everyone is curious.”
“Oh, so you want me to tell you so you can go and spread the news to everyone about how badly I fucked up and how much Alfred hates me?” Arthur said, whipping around to face Francis. “This is all your fault, you damn wine bastard,” he hissed. “I hate you. I bloody hate you!” he said, willing himself to forget how Alfred had said almost the exact same thing to him the previous night.
“It is not me that you hate.” Francis said, his tone gentle but admonishing.
“Yes it is!” Arthur yelled, but he knew he was lying. And he knew that Francis knew it as well. “None of this would have happened if you hadn’t egged me on!”
“And since when do you listen to me?” Francis said, anger flashing in his eyes. This wasn’t his fault, dammit! “I never told you to go this far. Besides, you could have ignored me in the first place! You wouldn’t have done this if you didn’t want to. Don’t pin the blame on me. None of this would have happened if you weren’t such a cowardly fool.”
Arthur turned around and walked away, choosing not to acknowledge that he was merely proving Francis right by doing this.
*****
Alfred stared at his empty suitcase and the clothes that surrounded it on the bed. It felt as if packing away his clothes would be so final. That leaving the hotel would really mean that it was over and that Arthur was never going to love him.
And why would he? Arthur probably wanted someone more mature than him anyway. With all that experience who would want someone like Alfred? Before that first night with Arthur when he had stopped him from trying anything with Matthew, Alfred could count the number of times he’d had sex on less than five fingers. Arthur probably wanted someone that he knew could keep up with him in those more…intimate activities.
Sighing he lifted the first pair of slacks and tossed them haphazardly back into his suitcase. The rest of his suits followed suit and he took some childish pleasure at the thought of how much Arthur would hate the fact that he didn’t fold his clothing before packing it away.
He wasn’t what Arthur wanted anyway so why try?
With that thought, he packed the rest of his belongings and with one last backward glance into his room, shut the door behind him before dropping his key card off at the front desk.
And when he saw Israel doing the same thing, he thought, ‘Why not?’
“Hey Israel!”
*****
I hope you guys liked it :D don't worry, America is not about to go pull an England and go have sex with Israel. He's just trying to distance himself from England by hanging out with different nations :)
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