A Poverty of Self (7/7)
anonymous
July 13 2010, 06:09:03 UTC
Face wet and scrunched and shuddering with sobs and something like lost innocence, perhaps, this strange child shakes his head and gazes up at China, wanting, not understanding.
And he asks, “Is loneliness a bad thing?”
“Yes.” China frowns. “Why would you even ask such a thing?”
-
7. Nihon
Ask Japan about love and he, invariably, will flinch.
He’ll blush too, after that.
It could be because he never really understood the concept until others came and showed him, indeed, what love is meant to be.
Japan’s idea of love is of princesses waiting to be rescued from tall towers; of romantic gestures that lead to angry, bitter, lonely sex; of video games and predictable, cause-and-effect 2D lovers; of foreign affairs and war brides that live happily-ever-after, or would if their princes didn’t die tragically; of Valentines Day and White Day and money; of idyllic first loves and childhood sweethearts in dysfunction, maid-robots and don’t-leave-me-don’t-abandon-me-don’t-KILL-me.
And they all laugh at Japan’s awkward attempts to relate to other countries, and they all feel a little sick at what goes on in his head when it comes to sex and pornography. And Japan knows that something’s not quite right, but for him (what’s happened, Japan? What happened to you?) this concept of love may just be the best he can do.
For Japan, love is something ultimately foreign. It is the presence of others. It is the absence of loneliness.
It’s hard when you’ve always been alone, to understand even this-
“Japan!” he hears England call as he gathers his notes to leave the conference. “You’re coming, right?”
A group of them are waiting by the door, chatting and laughing. Japan places a smile onto his face. “Where to, England-san?”
“The meeting’s over! Drinks, of course!” cheers America with an arm around Holland and Denmark.
Alfred still seems as young and as foolishly magnetic as ever. Kiku finds himself swallowing down the things climbing in his throat. “I am quite busy, America-san. I’m sorry.” He dips his head in polite shame.
“Geez, you have to let your hair down some time, Japan,” America teases.
It’s just a figure of speech.
But still, Japan says, “I’ll think about it Alfred,” and means no. He makes his way back through the halls of the UN building, bows to his dignitaries and the civil servants, and then he’ll close his door again.
And, drinking green tea in business hotel arm chairs, old and young and somehow still that little boy, that princess in waiting, that lover, that warrior, that island-
(You’ll never be able to love another if you don’t learn to love yourself)
author's note
anonymous
July 13 2010, 06:30:48 UTC
Oh Japan, baby. It's not your fault you're so screwed up. Only a little.
Did you know?
Japan's relationships have historically been unhealthy, at least in the long run.
IN chronological, not actual, order-
1. China/Japan, familial: Relations formally began in the Kofun period (~250AD). Japan would pay tribute to China regularyl, and their culture became sinicised (chiniseafied) to a certain point int eh following centuries. However, Japan experienced a backlash towards China during the sengoku periods and eventually in the Edo period, when he became a hikikomori afraid of everyone. D:
2. Portugal Japan, first love: Portugal was the first European nation to come into contact with Japan in 1543. It is from Portugal that Japan procured firearms. Portugal also traded between China and japan, because, by this time Japan was not talking to China and vica versa.
3. England/Japan, unrequited (on England's part): in 1673. An English ship visited Nagasaki harbour, and asked for a new trading agreement. Japan rejected it. The government blamed it on Charles II of England for marrying Catherine of Braganza, who was from Portugal. OOOh. Catty- getting protective over past boyfriends?
4. America/Japan, romantic: nothing really romantic aboutit at all. D: BAsically Perry came along with some streamboats, sat in Tokyo bay and told Japan, "HEY! COME OUT AND PLAY YOU BIG BABY!" There was fierce debate in japan about whether to listen or not. Eventually they did, they opened up and the meiji period began.
5. Germany/Japan, lustful: Yup. This alliance was basically the meeting of two powers hungry to start a war. because Germany'd been screwed over by versailles, and because Japan wanted revenge on China. (OVERSIMPLIFYINGMUCH!?) My poor, poor, tragic OTP.
6. Taiwan/Japan, doomed: Japan wrested Taiwan from Chinese control when some soldier shipwrecked on the island and were EATEN by the aboriginal taiwanese. japan WTF!ed to China, who said it wasn't their fault because Taiwan wasn't under their jurisdiction. Then Japan thought, "Aha!" and so took Taiwan for itself. loophole ftw. Taiwan became an important submarine base for Japan in the war, and even today some taiwanese have a soft spot for Japan because it basically singlehandedly built its economy.
7. Japan/Japan, true love Japan will never have healthy relations with its neighbours or international peers until it has a good, long, hard look at itslef and comes to terms with what it's done.
Re: author's note
anonymous
July 13 2010, 12:29:39 UTC
Anon, I seriously have no words for how much I just enjoyed this. I was just expecting some cute/sexy/sad anecdotes -- just simple moments in time -- but this really, really moved me. I don't even know what to say right now, but thank you for writing this. <3 I'll be back to reread this and make a longer comment later, I think, but I have to wake up the kids, etc. Argh.
Re: author's note
anonymous
July 13 2010, 15:30:41 UTC
Love anon <3 You deserve much of it, especially for filling with Japan-- I always find him hard to grasp. Honestly, I wasn't sure what to expect but these were wonderful to read and you did a great job~
Re: author's note
anonymous
July 13 2010, 22:18:49 UTC
Incredibly wonderful. I clicked this out of vague curiosity to see which Japan pairings you'd choose, and I was not disappointed, especially with that last one. I think that you have a very solid understanding of both Japan's history and his character, in Hetalia and in the real world, and it shows very clearly. Well done.
Re: author's note
anonymous
April 23 2011, 07:46:52 UTC
This is how I would characterise Japan if I could write him in anything other than brief, amusing shorts at the end of my fics.
The thing that I think really make this a brilliant piece of work is the fact that it is historically correct and yet fits perfectly with both the canon and (decent) fanon characterisation of Japan.
And he asks, “Is loneliness a bad thing?”
“Yes.” China frowns. “Why would you even ask such a thing?”
-
7. Nihon
Ask Japan about love and he, invariably, will flinch.
He’ll blush too, after that.
It could be because he never really understood the concept until others came and showed him, indeed, what love is meant to be.
Japan’s idea of love is of princesses waiting to be rescued from tall towers; of romantic gestures that lead to angry, bitter, lonely sex; of video games and predictable, cause-and-effect 2D lovers; of foreign affairs and war brides that live happily-ever-after, or would if their princes didn’t die tragically; of Valentines Day and White Day and money; of idyllic first loves and childhood sweethearts in dysfunction, maid-robots and don’t-leave-me-don’t-abandon-me-don’t-KILL-me.
And they all laugh at Japan’s awkward attempts to relate to other countries, and they all feel a little sick at what goes on in his head when it comes to sex and pornography. And Japan knows that something’s not quite right, but for him (what’s happened, Japan? What happened to you?) this concept of love may just be the best he can do.
For Japan, love is something ultimately foreign. It is the presence of others. It is the absence of loneliness.
It’s hard when you’ve always been alone, to understand even this-
“Japan!” he hears England call as he gathers his notes to leave the conference. “You’re coming, right?”
A group of them are waiting by the door, chatting and laughing. Japan places a smile onto his face. “Where to, England-san?”
“The meeting’s over! Drinks, of course!” cheers America with an arm around Holland and Denmark.
Alfred still seems as young and as foolishly magnetic as ever. Kiku finds himself swallowing down the things climbing in his throat. “I am quite busy, America-san. I’m sorry.” He dips his head in polite shame.
“Geez, you have to let your hair down some time, Japan,” America teases.
It’s just a figure of speech.
But still, Japan says, “I’ll think about it Alfred,” and means no. He makes his way back through the halls of the UN building, bows to his dignitaries and the civil servants, and then he’ll close his door again.
And, drinking green tea in business hotel arm chairs, old and young and somehow still that little boy, that princess in waiting, that lover, that warrior, that island-
(You’ll never be able to love another if you don’t learn to love yourself)
Japan is still happy.
Japan is still alone.
-
Reply
Did you know?
Japan's relationships have historically been unhealthy, at least in the long run.
IN chronological, not actual, order-
1. China/Japan, familial: Relations formally began in the Kofun period (~250AD). Japan would pay tribute to China regularyl, and their culture became sinicised (chiniseafied) to a certain point int eh following centuries. However, Japan experienced a backlash towards China during the sengoku periods and eventually in the Edo period, when he became a hikikomori afraid of everyone. D:
2. Portugal Japan, first love: Portugal was the first European nation to come into contact with Japan in 1543. It is from Portugal that Japan procured firearms. Portugal also traded between China and japan, because, by this time Japan was not talking to China and vica versa.
3. England/Japan, unrequited (on England's part): in 1673. An English ship visited Nagasaki harbour, and asked for a new trading agreement. Japan rejected it. The government blamed it on Charles II of England for marrying Catherine of Braganza, who was from Portugal. OOOh. Catty- getting protective over past boyfriends?
4. America/Japan, romantic: nothing really romantic aboutit at all. D: BAsically Perry came along with some streamboats, sat in Tokyo bay and told Japan, "HEY! COME OUT AND PLAY YOU BIG BABY!" There was fierce debate in japan about whether to listen or not. Eventually they did, they opened up and the meiji period began.
5. Germany/Japan, lustful: Yup. This alliance was basically the meeting of two powers hungry to start a war. because Germany'd been screwed over by versailles, and because Japan wanted revenge on China. (OVERSIMPLIFYINGMUCH!?) My poor, poor, tragic OTP.
6. Taiwan/Japan, doomed: Japan wrested Taiwan from Chinese control when some soldier shipwrecked on the island and were EATEN by the aboriginal taiwanese. japan WTF!ed to China, who said it wasn't their fault because Taiwan wasn't under their jurisdiction. Then Japan thought, "Aha!" and so took Taiwan for itself. loophole ftw. Taiwan became an important submarine base for Japan in the war, and even today some taiwanese have a soft spot for Japan because it basically singlehandedly built its economy.
7. Japan/Japan, true love
Japan will never have healthy relations with its neighbours or international peers until it has a good, long, hard look at itslef and comes to terms with what it's done.
Reply
... <3
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Reply
Insightful.
Beautiful.
...I have no more words for this.
Reply
Reply
The thing that I think really make this a brilliant piece of work is the fact that it is historically correct and yet fits perfectly with both the canon and (decent) fanon characterisation of Japan.
Really, a brilliant piece altogether.
Reply
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