[Part 5] Superheroic 13/?
anonymous
July 3 2010, 05:10:21 UTC
Just as Romano was resigning himself to an evening getting drunk with Prussia and his superhero mancrush, The Conquistador caught his eye and winked. At first Romano thought that it was a flirtatious wink, which wasn't unreasonable since The Conquistador had been trying to kiss him less than five minutes ago. This didn't seem like that kind of a wink, though. It less of a "Hey, you're hot" wink and more of a "Don't worry, I have a plan" wink.
Romano was almost mildly reassured. Almost.
Prussia rummaged in one of his pockets and pulled out a small key, which he tossed to The Conquistador. "You could use that, or there's this nifty little latch on them that if you push, the handcuffs unlock themselves!"
"You chained me up with trick handcuffs?" Romano raged. "That's just stupid! I could have gotten out anytime and stomped your stupid train to pieces!"
"So does that mean you don't need the key?" The Conquistador asked.
Romano paused, and rattled the handcuffs for a moment. "Just uncuff me, idiot," he mumbled.
Romano was pretty sure that The Conquistador didn't have to bend over him like that to uncuff his wrists. Romano's eyes went wide as those abs were suddenly right there, within licking distance. Romano blushed bright red. Just because he may or may not have mentally acknowledged that he was in lov-- had a tiny crush on someone else didn't mean that he couldn't also acknowledge how freakishly lickable The Conquistador's abs were.
As soon as he was free, he scooted to the other side of the bed.
"Wow, you turned really red all of a sudden!" The Conquistador exclaimed. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," Romano mumbled. "Let's just get this night over with."
The Conquistador smiled. It was a bit of a sharp smile. "That sounds like a great idea, Romano."
Romano frowned. There was something in the way The Conquistador was smiling, and something in his tone that said that he wasn't just agreeing with Romano. He was saying that this night would be over within a matter of minutes. What was he planning?
Romano didn't have long to wonder. The Conquistador leaned close, on the pretense of checking Romano's wrists for chafing. "As soon as I get The Explodinator away from the door, run," he murmured.
Romano blinked at him slowly, then nodded. He slid off the bed and straightened his slacks and his shirt. He didn't look at the doorway.
The Conquistador approached Prussia. "So where do you want to go for beers?" he asked.
"I think there's a--" Prussia didn't have time to finish his sentence, because The Conquistador chose that moment to ram into him with his shoulder, knocking him completely off-balance.
"Well if you didn't want to know, why'd you ask?" Prussia asked, scowling.
"Romano, get out of here!" The Conquistador shouted.
Romano wasn't good at many things, especially when compared to his brother. He sucked at painting, he made things messier every time he tried to do housework, and his personality left a lot to be desired. Even the pretty girls who Romano was always nice to loved his brother more than him. There was one thing that Romano was just as good at as his brother though: Running the fuck away at the first available opportunity.
He made it out the door and halfway down the hallway when he heard a pained grunt that sounded disconcertingly like Spain, and Prussia's dumbass cackling laugh.
That idiot was losing, wasn't he? Didn't he realize that he was a superhero? And that good guys always beat the bad guys? Romano squinted his eyes closed for half a moment, took a deep breath and turned around.
He peered in the door. Prussia was standing triumphantly over The Conquistador, holding the axe unwaveringly at The Conquistador's throat. "You can't doublecross someone as awesome as The Awesome Explodinator without facing the consequences!" Prussia said, smirking. "I was going to pay for the drinks. But now? Drinks are on you."
The Conquistador was on the ground. He wasn't moving, but his bright green eyes were locked onto Prussia's.
Re: [Part 5] Superheroic 13/?
anonymous
July 3 2010, 05:39:05 UTC
w;jldfas;dl I can't believe I didn't find this fill earlier. Haha oh gosh I'm laughing too hard because this is hilariously brilliant. Please, please do go on <3
SO MUCH LOVE FOR THIS FILL
anonymous
July 3 2010, 22:08:26 UTC
Absence of Romano = The Conquistador's Kryptonite, Y/N?
reCAPTCHA: fails Emerson. Ralph Waldo Emerson, this fill is NOT FAIL. But while we're on the subject, here's a quote from the man himself: "A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer." APPLICABLE QUOTATIONS GOOOOOOOO
[Part 5] Superheroic 14/?
anonymous
July 4 2010, 06:55:39 UTC
Wow, Romano's language gets worse and worse as this goes on. Sorry!
Romano had been alive a long time, and he'd seen a lot of green eyes. There was only one pair of green eyes that looked like that, though. They were warm, summer grass green, and they were always kind of crinkled at the edges with a laugh or a smile. They had the bad habit of making his knees go weak and his stomach twist up in complicated little knots and his cheeks go tomato red and right now they were fucking looking out through a golden domino mask.
Ignoring the fact that not ten seconds ago he'd been retreating, ignoring the fact that the ugly potato bastard's brother was standing over The Conquistador with a massive axe, ignoring the fact that he'd just escaped a really annoying hostage situation, Romano stormed back into the sleazy motel honeymoon suite.
"You are a fucking moron," he informed The Conquistador, before kicking him in the ribs.
"You decided to become a supervillain?" Prussia asked.
"Hell no," Romano snapped. He elbowed Prussia out of the way so that he could aim a kick towards The Conquistador's groin, but Prussia grabbed him by the shoulders.
"That's a low blow, even for a supervillain," Prussia said.
"I'm not a supervillain," Romano said, struggling. "I'm the idiot who thought I was in love with him but the whole time he was just tricking me and probably laughing at me when I went to The Conquistette meetings and that asshole in the spandex is a fucking bastard!" He managed to land a lucky fist to the side of Prussia's face, sending Prussia staggering backwards. Romano went to kick The Conquistador as he'd intended, but The Conquistador had used Prussia's distraction to move away and get back to his feet.
"You're more like a sidekick!" The Conquistador agreed. "That was really handy, distracting him like that. You can be Temper Tantrum Lad!" Romano gave him his absolute most withering glare. "...Or we can discuss sidekick names later."
"I'm pissed off," Romano said, since The Conquistador seemed to be oblivious to the fact.
"Why? Is it because I haven't been a very good superhero today? I'm really sorry. I promise I'll work on it and get better!" The Conquistador gave Romano one of those heart-melting grins that almost made Romano's heart speed up until he realized that it was the exact.same.fucking.smile. that Spain gave him several times a day. Romano's heart started beating at triple time anyways.
"Shut up," Romano mumbled, not meeting The Conquistador's eyes. "Just shut up." He suddenly felt exhausted. "Just beat up Prussia or go out and have some beers or what the fuck ever. I'm going home." He walked out the door.
Prussia looked at The Conquistador,eyebrows raised. "Your new sidekick needs to work on his witty one-liners."
The Conquistador stared after Romano. "I don't think he wants to be my sidekick," he said.
"Of course he does!" Prussia said, rolling his eyes. "He's such a fanboy for you. God, you should see him at the Conquistette meetings. We start talking about your spandex and his face goes all red and he can't get two words out without stammering. It's hilarious."
"I really wanted him to be my love interest, but then he said he was in love with someone else," The Conquistador said. "And, you know, sidekick would definitely be the next best thing, but he doesn't even want that. I think he doesn't like me because I screwed up at saving him."
Prussia shrugged. "Don't worry about it too much. He may have a fanboy hard on for you, but I think he's been head over heels in love with Spain for centuries without realizing it. It's pretty pathetic, to be honest."
"How do you know all this?" The Conquistador said, puzzled. "Are you a member of The Conquistettes too? I thought that was only for nations!" Prussia started stammering excuses, but The Conquistador just grinned. "Wow, I think it's great that they started including normal people in their meetings too! Even if they are supervillains."
Prussia opened his mouth like he was about to say something, then he closed it and shook his head. "Come on, Conquistador. I think you and I need some good German beer."
"Yeah," The Conquistador said. "Beer sounds good." He paused. "Wait. Did you just say Romano's in love with Spain?"
Re: [Part 5] Superheroic 14/?
anonymous
July 4 2010, 07:51:45 UTC
with the most affectionate love... SO. MUCH. FAIL. what would romano's sidekick name be? if it were in with the theme naming it would end up something unfortunate like Gold stealer or SmallPox Blanket-Boy, neither of which are terribly heroic. :/
Re: [Part 5] Superheroic 14/?
anonymous
July 4 2010, 15:43:50 UTC
Aaaand Romano finally puts the pieces together, and The Conquistador finally gets a clue about Romano's feelings for him Spain. We're entering a new stage of the plot here, aren't we?
*eagerly waits for the next part with a bowl of popcorn by her side*
[Part 5] Superheroic 15/?
anonymous
July 5 2010, 07:08:15 UTC
Thanks for all the comments! I especially appreciate everyone who's talked about how fantastically fail the characters are. Hetalia fanfic needs more fail. <3
Neither Spain nor The Conquistador saw Romano for almost an entire week after that. The Conquistador went on, protecting Spain from supervillains of all types and saving busloads of nuns and orphans from certain doom. Spain went on too, not really varying his usual routine. He made dinner for two every night, and ended up with a lot of leftovers because of it.
It wasn't until five days after the sleazy motel room affair that Romano came storming into Spain's house around dinnertime. He didn't say anything, and he glared at Spain, as if daring him to say anything.
"I made paella," Spain said, figuring that would be a safe attempt towards conversation. "It's on the stove still."
"You asshole," Romano snapped. He turned to stomp his way right back out the door, but then he smelled the paella and decided to stomp into the kitchen instead. "You fucking bastard."
"Ah, are you still mad about that thing with The Conquistador?" Spain asked, chuckling nervously. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to bring it up, but Romano couldn't get any madder than he already was, right?
Romano, always contrary, proved Spain wrong by throwing a plate at his head. Thanks to a combination of Romano's poor aim and Spain's ability to dodge, it missed completely and shattered harmlessly against the wall. "You lied to me!"
"I'm sorry?" Spain said. He wasn't sure what Romano was talking about, but apologizing seemed like the best route to go.
"If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place," Romano snapped. He pulled out another dish, and Spain winced, half expecting this one to go flying to his head too. Romano just used it to dish out a healthy portion of paella onto, though, and Spain breathed a sigh of relief.
He carried his paella to the table and set into it, somehow managing to look so miserable while eating the delicious paella that Spain had to go over and comfort him despite the high probability of physical violence. He ruffled Romano's hair (careful to avoid that curl, because it was one thing to comfort Romano despite potential violence, but it was another thing altogether to touch Romano's hair curl and get automatically headbutted), and gathered Romano up in his arms. "Come on, tell Boss what's wrong."
Romano flung paella at him. "Shut up, seriously. You sound like a creepy pervert when you call yourself Boss in the third person." Spain hugged him tighter. "And I can't eat my dinner when you're being all needy and clingy."
Well, that sounded reasonable. Spain let go of Romano and sat down next to him instead. "Are you going to tell me what I did? I already apologized."
"You lied to me," Romano said. He sounded so pathetic to his own ears, that he instantly shoveled more paella into his mouth to stop himself from saying anything else.
Spain frowned. He needed to make this better somehow. Making paella just wasn't going to cut it. It was time to enact his plan to reveal himself to Romano as The Conquistador. Or. Well. To try again, since his first two attempts at it hadn't gone through so well.
It would probably be a good idea to call up France again. Saving Romano from Rose Thorn had been the closest Spain had gotten to confessing his secret. Maybe if he asked Prussia to help too? With the Bad Friends Trio working together, there was no way this plan could fail! And once Spain revealed himself to Romano in a completely romantic and post-life-or-death situation, Romano would be so overwhelmed that he'd swoon and instantly forgive Spain for whatever it was that Spain did to incur his wrath.
Spain had never actually seen Romano swoon over anything, but there was a first time for everything, right?
"I'll be right back," Spain told Romano before running off to call France and Prussia to plot.
Romano was almost mildly reassured. Almost.
Prussia rummaged in one of his pockets and pulled out a small key, which he tossed to The Conquistador. "You could use that, or there's this nifty little latch on them that if you push, the handcuffs unlock themselves!"
"You chained me up with trick handcuffs?" Romano raged. "That's just stupid! I could have gotten out anytime and stomped your stupid train to pieces!"
"So does that mean you don't need the key?" The Conquistador asked.
Romano paused, and rattled the handcuffs for a moment. "Just uncuff me, idiot," he mumbled.
Romano was pretty sure that The Conquistador didn't have to bend over him like that to uncuff his wrists. Romano's eyes went wide as those abs were suddenly right there, within licking distance. Romano blushed bright red. Just because he may or may not have mentally acknowledged that he was in lov-- had a tiny crush on someone else didn't mean that he couldn't also acknowledge how freakishly lickable The Conquistador's abs were.
As soon as he was free, he scooted to the other side of the bed.
"Wow, you turned really red all of a sudden!" The Conquistador exclaimed. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," Romano mumbled. "Let's just get this night over with."
The Conquistador smiled. It was a bit of a sharp smile. "That sounds like a great idea, Romano."
Romano frowned. There was something in the way The Conquistador was smiling, and something in his tone that said that he wasn't just agreeing with Romano. He was saying that this night would be over within a matter of minutes. What was he planning?
Romano didn't have long to wonder. The Conquistador leaned close, on the pretense of checking Romano's wrists for chafing. "As soon as I get The Explodinator away from the door, run," he murmured.
Romano blinked at him slowly, then nodded. He slid off the bed and straightened his slacks and his shirt. He didn't look at the doorway.
The Conquistador approached Prussia. "So where do you want to go for beers?" he asked.
"I think there's a--" Prussia didn't have time to finish his sentence, because The Conquistador chose that moment to ram into him with his shoulder, knocking him completely off-balance.
"Well if you didn't want to know, why'd you ask?" Prussia asked, scowling.
"Romano, get out of here!" The Conquistador shouted.
Romano wasn't good at many things, especially when compared to his brother. He sucked at painting, he made things messier every time he tried to do housework, and his personality left a lot to be desired. Even the pretty girls who Romano was always nice to loved his brother more than him. There was one thing that Romano was just as good at as his brother though: Running the fuck away at the first available opportunity.
He made it out the door and halfway down the hallway when he heard a pained grunt that sounded disconcertingly like Spain, and Prussia's dumbass cackling laugh.
That idiot was losing, wasn't he? Didn't he realize that he was a superhero? And that good guys always beat the bad guys? Romano squinted his eyes closed for half a moment, took a deep breath and turned around.
He peered in the door. Prussia was standing triumphantly over The Conquistador, holding the axe unwaveringly at The Conquistador's throat. "You can't doublecross someone as awesome as The Awesome Explodinator without facing the consequences!" Prussia said, smirking. "I was going to pay for the drinks. But now? Drinks are on you."
The Conquistador was on the ground. He wasn't moving, but his bright green eyes were locked onto Prussia's.
Romano froze. Holy shit, those eyes.
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they're all so dense-and-fail <3
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Oh Prussia, why so evil. XD
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DUN DUN DUN!
Love this fill, btw. ♥
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reCAPTCHA: fails Emerson. Ralph Waldo Emerson, this fill is NOT FAIL. But while we're on the subject, here's a quote from the man himself: "A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer." APPLICABLE QUOTATIONS GOOOOOOOO
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Romano had been alive a long time, and he'd seen a lot of green eyes. There was only one pair of green eyes that looked like that, though. They were warm, summer grass green, and they were always kind of crinkled at the edges with a laugh or a smile. They had the bad habit of making his knees go weak and his stomach twist up in complicated little knots and his cheeks go tomato red and right now they were fucking looking out through a golden domino mask.
Ignoring the fact that not ten seconds ago he'd been retreating, ignoring the fact that the ugly potato bastard's brother was standing over The Conquistador with a massive axe, ignoring the fact that he'd just escaped a really annoying hostage situation, Romano stormed back into the sleazy motel honeymoon suite.
"You are a fucking moron," he informed The Conquistador, before kicking him in the ribs.
"You decided to become a supervillain?" Prussia asked.
"Hell no," Romano snapped. He elbowed Prussia out of the way so that he could aim a kick towards The Conquistador's groin, but Prussia grabbed him by the shoulders.
"That's a low blow, even for a supervillain," Prussia said.
"I'm not a supervillain," Romano said, struggling. "I'm the idiot who thought I was in love with him but the whole time he was just tricking me and probably laughing at me when I went to The Conquistette meetings and that asshole in the spandex is a fucking bastard!" He managed to land a lucky fist to the side of Prussia's face, sending Prussia staggering backwards. Romano went to kick The Conquistador as he'd intended, but The Conquistador had used Prussia's distraction to move away and get back to his feet.
"You're more like a sidekick!" The Conquistador agreed. "That was really handy, distracting him like that. You can be Temper Tantrum Lad!" Romano gave him his absolute most withering glare. "...Or we can discuss sidekick names later."
"I'm pissed off," Romano said, since The Conquistador seemed to be oblivious to the fact.
"Why? Is it because I haven't been a very good superhero today? I'm really sorry. I promise I'll work on it and get better!" The Conquistador gave Romano one of those heart-melting grins that almost made Romano's heart speed up until he realized that it was the exact.same.fucking.smile. that Spain gave him several times a day. Romano's heart started beating at triple time anyways.
"Shut up," Romano mumbled, not meeting The Conquistador's eyes. "Just shut up." He suddenly felt exhausted. "Just beat up Prussia or go out and have some beers or what the fuck ever. I'm going home." He walked out the door.
Prussia looked at The Conquistador,eyebrows raised. "Your new sidekick needs to work on his witty one-liners."
The Conquistador stared after Romano. "I don't think he wants to be my sidekick," he said.
"Of course he does!" Prussia said, rolling his eyes. "He's such a fanboy for you. God, you should see him at the Conquistette meetings. We start talking about your spandex and his face goes all red and he can't get two words out without stammering. It's hilarious."
"I really wanted him to be my love interest, but then he said he was in love with someone else," The Conquistador said. "And, you know, sidekick would definitely be the next best thing, but he doesn't even want that. I think he doesn't like me because I screwed up at saving him."
Prussia shrugged. "Don't worry about it too much. He may have a fanboy hard on for you, but I think he's been head over heels in love with Spain for centuries without realizing it. It's pretty pathetic, to be honest."
"How do you know all this?" The Conquistador said, puzzled. "Are you a member of The Conquistettes too? I thought that was only for nations!" Prussia started stammering excuses, but The Conquistador just grinned. "Wow, I think it's great that they started including normal people in their meetings too! Even if they are supervillains."
Prussia opened his mouth like he was about to say something, then he closed it and shook his head. "Come on, Conquistador. I think you and I need some good German beer."
"Yeah," The Conquistador said. "Beer sounds good." He paused. "Wait. Did you just say Romano's in love with Spain?"
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SO. MUCH. FAIL.
what would romano's sidekick name be? if it were in with the theme naming it would end up something unfortunate like Gold stealer or SmallPox Blanket-Boy, neither of which are terribly heroic. :/
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*eagerly waits for the next part with a bowl of popcorn by her side*
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Neither Spain nor The Conquistador saw Romano for almost an entire week after that. The Conquistador went on, protecting Spain from supervillains of all types and saving busloads of nuns and orphans from certain doom. Spain went on too, not really varying his usual routine. He made dinner for two every night, and ended up with a lot of leftovers because of it.
It wasn't until five days after the sleazy motel room affair that Romano came storming into Spain's house around dinnertime. He didn't say anything, and he glared at Spain, as if daring him to say anything.
"I made paella," Spain said, figuring that would be a safe attempt towards conversation. "It's on the stove still."
"You asshole," Romano snapped. He turned to stomp his way right back out the door, but then he smelled the paella and decided to stomp into the kitchen instead. "You fucking bastard."
"Ah, are you still mad about that thing with The Conquistador?" Spain asked, chuckling nervously. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to bring it up, but Romano couldn't get any madder than he already was, right?
Romano, always contrary, proved Spain wrong by throwing a plate at his head. Thanks to a combination of Romano's poor aim and Spain's ability to dodge, it missed completely and shattered harmlessly against the wall. "You lied to me!"
"I'm sorry?" Spain said. He wasn't sure what Romano was talking about, but apologizing seemed like the best route to go.
"If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place," Romano snapped. He pulled out another dish, and Spain winced, half expecting this one to go flying to his head too. Romano just used it to dish out a healthy portion of paella onto, though, and Spain breathed a sigh of relief.
He carried his paella to the table and set into it, somehow managing to look so miserable while eating the delicious paella that Spain had to go over and comfort him despite the high probability of physical violence. He ruffled Romano's hair (careful to avoid that curl, because it was one thing to comfort Romano despite potential violence, but it was another thing altogether to touch Romano's hair curl and get automatically headbutted), and gathered Romano up in his arms. "Come on, tell Boss what's wrong."
Romano flung paella at him. "Shut up, seriously. You sound like a creepy pervert when you call yourself Boss in the third person." Spain hugged him tighter. "And I can't eat my dinner when you're being all needy and clingy."
Well, that sounded reasonable. Spain let go of Romano and sat down next to him instead. "Are you going to tell me what I did? I already apologized."
"You lied to me," Romano said. He sounded so pathetic to his own ears, that he instantly shoveled more paella into his mouth to stop himself from saying anything else.
Spain frowned. He needed to make this better somehow. Making paella just wasn't going to cut it. It was time to enact his plan to reveal himself to Romano as The Conquistador. Or. Well. To try again, since his first two attempts at it hadn't gone through so well.
It would probably be a good idea to call up France again. Saving Romano from Rose Thorn had been the closest Spain had gotten to confessing his secret. Maybe if he asked Prussia to help too? With the Bad Friends Trio working together, there was no way this plan could fail! And once Spain revealed himself to Romano in a completely romantic and post-life-or-death situation, Romano would be so overwhelmed that he'd swoon and instantly forgive Spain for whatever it was that Spain did to incur his wrath.
Spain had never actually seen Romano swoon over anything, but there was a first time for everything, right?
"I'll be right back," Spain told Romano before running off to call France and Prussia to plot.
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SPAIN YOU ARE SUCH AN ADORABLE IDIOT...and it can be so annoying and dumb in situations like this. ROMANO ALREADY KNOWS, GET A BRAIN.
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