( on Russia rediscovering his faith after the fall of the Soviet Union. )
I'm Sorry, I'm Here.
hello, hello, old friend. we used to know each other well, didn't we? funny, now that everything I used to have is gone, I turn to you. once all we did have was each other, but then again, religion is nothing without followers. I loved you, really, I did. Sister encouraged us to believe, back when she was my caretaker, and not I, hers. I loved it, though, believe me. you were my solace; I loved the idea of a God who was maybe capable of just a little mercy. just the idea got me through. once you were gone, ripped from my hands like so many other things were, there was something of a chunk gone from me, my soul; my heart, maybe? my hint of humanity?
hello, hello, old friend. it's good to see you once again, even though we're strangers now. i'm sorry I abused you so, I'm sorry I let them convince me to turn away from you, the (maybe false) warmth of your embrace, your promises. i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry; those words are all mine, as of late. I'm sorry, Sister, I'm sorry, comrades. will you forgive me? I know that the Lord will forgive, at least, even though I can tell that with those I used to live with it will be hard; even my sisters are resentful. (i'm sorry). I love it, how easy it is to repent and believe again. nothing has been easy. i'd almost forgotten how it feels, like you.
hello, hello, old friend. i'm standing here in a makeshift church standing in the very back, even though it's no effort for me to see; I tower over even the fathers with daughters on their backs, all of them yearning to hear, to heal, to maybe start at least. it's awkward, being here. I turned from you, in the deepest of the dark years, I tried to destroy you, erase you from my memory, fill the hole in me with lies that I really did believe; I hated you. I really did and I don't know what to say other than that, oh, I'm sorry. are those words really as empty as they feel now? I don't want them to be, I don't want them to turn into success or happiness or equality, those things that I cannot believe in anymore.
hello, hello, old friend. I have missed you so. Will you welcome me back into your salvation?
( on Russia rediscovering his faith after the fall of the Soviet Union. )
I'm Sorry, I'm Here.
hello, hello, old friend.
we used to know each other
well, didn't we? funny,
now that everything I used to
have is gone, I turn to
you. once all we did have was
each other, but then
again, religion is nothing without
followers. I loved you,
really, I did. Sister encouraged us
to believe, back when
she was my caretaker, and not I,
hers. I loved it, though,
believe me. you were my solace;
I loved the idea of a God
who was maybe capable of just a
little mercy. just the idea
got me through. once you were gone,
ripped from my hands like
so many other things were, there was
something of a chunk gone
from me, my soul; my heart, maybe?
my hint of humanity?
hello, hello, old friend.
it's good to see you once again, even
though we're strangers
now. i'm sorry I abused you so, I'm sorry
I let them convince me
to turn away from you, the (maybe false)
warmth of your embrace,
your promises. i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry;
those words are all mine,
as of late. I'm sorry, Sister, I'm sorry, comrades.
will you forgive me? I know
that the Lord will forgive, at least, even though
I can tell that with those
I used to live with it will be hard; even my sisters
are resentful. (i'm sorry).
I love it, how easy it is to repent and believe
again. nothing has been easy.
i'd almost forgotten how it feels, like you.
hello, hello, old friend.
i'm standing here in a makeshift church
standing in the very back,
even though it's no effort for me to see; I
tower over even the
fathers with daughters on their backs,
all of them yearning to
hear, to heal, to maybe start at least.
it's awkward, being here.
I turned from you, in the deepest of
the dark years, I tried to
destroy you, erase you from my memory,
fill the hole in me with lies
that I really did believe; I hated you. I really
did and I don't know what to
say other than that, oh, I'm sorry. are those
words really as empty as they
feel now? I don't want them to be, I don't
want them to turn into success
or happiness or equality, those things that
I cannot believe in anymore.
hello, hello, old friend.
I have missed you so. Will you welcome
me back into your salvation?
Reply
and, I really loved this anon ♥
Reply
Leave a comment