Fill You Up 4/6
anonymous
June 13 2010, 01:54:21 UTC
France chuckles and reaches over to grab the plug. "You want this, I take it?"
"Ooh, yeah, thanks," and America presses a kiss to the very edge of France's hole as he holds France's hips tilted upward to push in the plug, kissing that too just for good measure.
"I should finger you," France comments, lazily, running his palms over America's back. "I hear it increases the...quantity."
Delighted, America reaches up to kiss his cheek, weighing in his mind whether he can manage another round right away. "You have the best ideas." Sleepiness wins out. "Can we nap first, though? I'm beat."
"But of course."
"Mmm." Maybe just ten minutes, and then they can go again.
Twenty minutes later, he blinks awake and peers up at France, who is gazing at the ceiling with an unreadable half-smile, his thumb rubbing back and forth across the back of America's neck. He knows better than to barge his way into France's thoughts - France keeps his own secrets and America has no right to demand to hear them, no matter how burningly he wants to know what makes France's eyes so far away sometimes. So he shifts, gently, and nuzzles tiny kisses along the base of France's throat and lets France come out of it at his own pace.
"So," says America brightly, the last traces of muzziness facing from his voice as he remembers what they'd been planning. "Fingering! That sounds cool!"
France tugs his hair. "Well, aren't we insatiable tonight."
"What? It's hot." America squirms a little - does he want France to finger him, or does he want to do it to himself while France watches? Oh god, either would be really hot... He chews the inside of his cheek, so distracted by his dilemma that he doesn't notice that France is about to flip him over until he's lying on his stomach with France atop him. "Woah, wha - "
"I believe your expression is 'you snooze, you lose,' non?" France is a sneaky bastard and America loves it, because he's arching back into wicked, delicate fingers - it's just enough to tease, to make him push into it and babble incoherently for more but France won't, won't -
France adds a third finger, rubbing maddeningly slowly across America's prostate: it's too much not enough but there's nothing America can do except shudder back into it and beg, "Fuck, please, d-don't, stop - oh, oh, stop teasing m-me, France, please please."
"Oh, you do enjoy this, don't you?"
America groans in frustration - he has a kink the size of the Washington Monument for this and France knows it - and France kisses his shoulder and pulls his fingers out, guiding America's hand down to pull the plug out of France's body.
"You're making me jealous," he whispers, hot against America's cheek, and America shivers at the thought of pushing back inside France, into an opening already filled with his come, and adding even more, filling him up, as much as he can take.
"Hang on." He pulls France's legs around his waist, tilting his hips up so none of the come will spill out, before he removes the plug and presses into France again like a homecoming. Heat and slick, and that's his come, his own come, warm from France's body. His mouth falls open.
Re: Fill You Up 5/6
anonymous
June 13 2010, 01:55:17 UTC
"M'not hurting your back?" Because he's trembling with the effort of holding himself back but he knows full well how bad he could hurt France, if he ever forgot his own strength, so he grits his teeth until France shakes his head jerkily against the pillow. "'Kay."
The angle is a little bit awkward at first, but then it's excellent, because France hooks his ankles together behind America's back, and he's dragging America closer, closer, like he never wants to let him go - his face is damp with sweat, twisted strings of hair sticking to his cheeks and forehead, and America can't tear his eyes away. He licks over his palm and wraps it around France's cock, his breath stuttering at the throaty, needy noise France makes at that, and keeps thrusting into him, filling him.
Sometimes France has sex like it's a game, and sometimes he has sex like it's a work of art. Now, though, he's having sex like it's his whole world, abandoning himself to it, careless of proper posture or seductive lighting, and this is America's favorite; making France lose himself like this - it feels like vertigo, like the first few moments after jumping when his parachute hasn't opened yet: trembly and overawed and thrilling from it. America reaches one hand back to slip a finger inside himself - a little awkward with France's legs in the way and hard to balance himself without his hands but so, so worth it when France realizes what he's doing and his whole body shudders and he stammers something all mixed-up and broken-off, Je - ng - on ne - need, I - j'ai besoi- that makes no sense in any language and bites off the last word with a choked breath as he comes.
America looks down, into France's sex-lidded eyes, and grins, wildly, as he lets his hips do as they will, thrusting irregular and wanton into France's open body until he follows, clenches around his own finger and spills into France again. "Shit," he whispers, because France looks good all the time but he looks really good with come striped across his hips and stomach like that, and America laughs when France trails his fingers through it, draws his initials across America's ribs and he doesn't even realize he's thrusting again until France trails his little finger down the trail of hair that leads to his crotch and snickers at him. America shrugs with an easy smile: you're sexy like that; what can I say?
The come is sticky on his chest. He smears it away with one palm. "You don't need to write on the outside." He pulls France's hand up to his chest. "'S already here."
Even though France rolls his eyes, he draws America's hand down to his lips to kiss his knuckles (tilts his hand so it's graceful, his fingers arching almost delicately) and rolls his hips up into America until America comes again, lost in the haze of love and pleasure and the endless blue of France's eyes.
A few drops of come are leaking out around his cock, like France is full already, but America wants him to be more than full, wants him overflowing, so he pushes the pillow back under his hips and pulls out to wrap his hand around himself. France is sprawled out like something out of America's filthiest fantasies, covered in his own come and sex-flushed and breathless, with every shred of composure vanished. And then he reaches down through his own legs to curl his hand around America's, and ohgod it's good, fuck, France's fingers are nimble, clever, working back to tease at his balls, and America tilts his hips forward so France can slip one-two-three fingers inside him, stretching almost to the point of pain, but bright-hot and sparking all up his spine.
Fill You Up 6/6 + a/n
anonymous
June 13 2010, 01:59:22 UTC
"F-France, god, I - I'm gonna -" he gasps, and jerks out of their hands to press just the head of his dick inside France so he can fill him up that last little bit, and he moans and doubles over again when he sees a little trickle of come spurt out, fuck fuck -
Breathing. Breathing is pretty awesome. Maybe he should get on that. America sucks in air sharply and closes his eyes for a moment, and when he opens them, France is offering him the plug again.
"You want to - all night? Seriously?"
France smiles. "I find I am rather enjoying it."
"Oh." He twists the plug inside, rubbing his thumb over the base. "Oh, wow." A pause as America stares, stupidly, and he can't think of what to say. "Um. Hang on; I'll get a rag."
He runs warm water over a hand towel in the bathroom, and returns to run it softly over the trails of come across France's belly. Judging from the way France presses up into it and sighs in pleasure, it must feel good, and America bends over and trails kisses across the freshly-clean skin, because he doesn't have the words.
Eventually, he nuzzles down on the bed, curling up around France's back and shoving his glasses off onto the nightstand. He feels clean-sleepy now, pressed down into the bed by a soft, calm weight, not the I-give-up sleep that comes when his bureaucrats have drained all the energy from him and left him wrung-out and headachey.
France half-turns to flutter their noses together, wordlessly, before he settles himself closer in America's arms and America follows him into sleep.
_____________________________
authornon says: Sorry this took so long; real life kind of interfered. I hope you like it! Concrit is totally welcome.
Re: Fill You Up 6/6 + a/n
anonymous
June 14 2010, 06:40:14 UTC
Because this was totally hot and orgasmic, I will try and offer some concrit, despite my utter failness at writing.
Just a note:
"Sometimes France has sex like it's a game, and sometimes he has sex like it's a work of art. Now, though, he's having sex like it's his whole world, abandoning himself to it, careless of proper posture or seductive lighting, and this is America's favorite; making France lose himself like this - it feels like vertigo, like the first few moments after jumping when his parachute hasn't opened yet: trembly and overawed and thrilling from it."
Despite this story being smut, you still manage to include some beautiful and character-describing moments. Very, VERY few PWP authors are able to do that, so kudos to you. You had many other moments in this story where you did this, but I liked this one the best =D
This could count as a personal preference, so ignore this is you want: when describing the characters coming, I like a bit more description. I mean you're bang on with your other descriptions, like of their eyes and their spilt cum, but the actual act is very vague. As excessive cum is one of my kinks (It's a kink, it's supposed to be weird, so don't judge!) I like the actual act of ejactulation being described. Something like:
"America groaned as his dick twitched and cum came bursting out of his slit. It poured into Francis, shooting deep into his heat and slowly filling his passage with liquid heat"
Despite the obvious crapiness of it, the act of ejaculation is quite well described. Not only is it hot, but it makes the story seems longer and could be useful in future endeavours. ;)
What's the wink for...?
Yeah, so I'm gonna stop because... yeah, I have absolutely no authority to be saying this. Awesome story, awesome kink, and awesome you.
Yay!
reCAPTCHA: control coccus - hmm, do I sense some withheld orgasm fics coming up?
Re: Fill You Up 6/6 + a/n
anonymous
June 14 2010, 19:54:57 UTC
:D I'm glad you liked it, anon!
Thanks for the crit; I did try at first to be super-detailed about the come itself but the description just would not work the way I wanted it to, so I settled for possessiveness instead rather than keep stuff I felt was totally ooc /o\ also, I weirded myself out completely thinking about the sperm swimming around like little tadpoles
You totally do have authority, though. As someone who has that kink (while I'm just a curious outside observer), you know best how it ought to be written. And I have far too many shameful kinks of my own to judge anyone else's.
Sorry for the lateness, I had a bad weekend. Mmm! This is really delicious! I love how tender it is, and little details in the prose like France's sneakiness, as well as their back and forth retorts and rapport together..
Just, gah. I am incoherent with the awesome. Also, with the late hour. I should be sleeping, dammit.
No crit, though I was surprised at the lack of French pet names. No chous, chers, or coeurs XD
I'm so glad it made you happy, OP! It was a kink I'd never written before and it was a lot of fun to write.
/tucks you into bed
Yeah, my French is rudimentary at best (I took two years in high school...three years ago), so I'm a bit wary about including it in fills because I'm afraid I'll get it wrong, and I know how frustrating that can be to native speakers hehe.
Re: Fill You Up 6/6 + a/n
anonymous
June 14 2010, 12:58:41 UTC
Holy shit, that was so hot! what's with all this awesome dirty fills in this part? wow! and it's even set in modern times! modern!FrUS is something you simply don't see out there. Thank you so much for this wonderful fic, which appart from the awesome hot sex (and including many of my kinks, like full descriptions of cum, cum filling, and delicious possessive America) it also added many wonderful characterization details, and even managed to mention England normally in this context, lol
Awesome fill, authoranon!
'involving freemen'. I should think so, CAPTCHA! ;)
"Ooh, yeah, thanks," and America presses a kiss to the very edge of France's hole as he holds France's hips tilted upward to push in the plug, kissing that too just for good measure.
"I should finger you," France comments, lazily, running his palms over America's back. "I hear it increases the...quantity."
Delighted, America reaches up to kiss his cheek, weighing in his mind whether he can manage another round right away. "You have the best ideas." Sleepiness wins out. "Can we nap first, though? I'm beat."
"But of course."
"Mmm." Maybe just ten minutes, and then they can go again.
Twenty minutes later, he blinks awake and peers up at France, who is gazing at the ceiling with an unreadable half-smile, his thumb rubbing back and forth across the back of America's neck. He knows better than to barge his way into France's thoughts - France keeps his own secrets and America has no right to demand to hear them, no matter how burningly he wants to know what makes France's eyes so far away sometimes. So he shifts, gently, and nuzzles tiny kisses along the base of France's throat and lets France come out of it at his own pace.
"So," says America brightly, the last traces of muzziness facing from his voice as he remembers what they'd been planning. "Fingering! That sounds cool!"
France tugs his hair. "Well, aren't we insatiable tonight."
"What? It's hot." America squirms a little - does he want France to finger him, or does he want to do it to himself while France watches? Oh god, either would be really hot... He chews the inside of his cheek, so distracted by his dilemma that he doesn't notice that France is about to flip him over until he's lying on his stomach with France atop him. "Woah, wha - "
"I believe your expression is 'you snooze, you lose,' non?" France is a sneaky bastard and America loves it, because he's arching back into wicked, delicate fingers - it's just enough to tease, to make him push into it and babble incoherently for more but France won't, won't -
France adds a third finger, rubbing maddeningly slowly across America's prostate: it's too much not enough but there's nothing America can do except shudder back into it and beg, "Fuck, please, d-don't, stop - oh, oh, stop teasing m-me, France, please please."
"Oh, you do enjoy this, don't you?"
America groans in frustration - he has a kink the size of the Washington Monument for this and France knows it - and France kisses his shoulder and pulls his fingers out, guiding America's hand down to pull the plug out of France's body.
"You're making me jealous," he whispers, hot against America's cheek, and America shivers at the thought of pushing back inside France, into an opening already filled with his come, and adding even more, filling him up, as much as he can take.
"Hang on." He pulls France's legs around his waist, tilting his hips up so none of the come will spill out, before he removes the plug and presses into France again like a homecoming. Heat and slick, and that's his come, his own come, warm from France's body. His mouth falls open.
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The angle is a little bit awkward at first, but then it's excellent, because France hooks his ankles together behind America's back, and he's dragging America closer, closer, like he never wants to let him go - his face is damp with sweat, twisted strings of hair sticking to his cheeks and forehead, and America can't tear his eyes away. He licks over his palm and wraps it around France's cock, his breath stuttering at the throaty, needy noise France makes at that, and keeps thrusting into him, filling him.
Sometimes France has sex like it's a game, and sometimes he has sex like it's a work of art. Now, though, he's having sex like it's his whole world, abandoning himself to it, careless of proper posture or seductive lighting, and this is America's favorite; making France lose himself like this - it feels like vertigo, like the first few moments after jumping when his parachute hasn't opened yet: trembly and overawed and thrilling from it. America reaches one hand back to slip a finger inside himself - a little awkward with France's legs in the way and hard to balance himself without his hands but so, so worth it when France realizes what he's doing and his whole body shudders and he stammers something all mixed-up and broken-off, Je - ng - on ne - need, I - j'ai besoi- that makes no sense in any language and bites off the last word with a choked breath as he comes.
America looks down, into France's sex-lidded eyes, and grins, wildly, as he lets his hips do as they will, thrusting irregular and wanton into France's open body until he follows, clenches around his own finger and spills into France again. "Shit," he whispers, because France looks good all the time but he looks really good with come striped across his hips and stomach like that, and America laughs when France trails his fingers through it, draws his initials across America's ribs and he doesn't even realize he's thrusting again until France trails his little finger down the trail of hair that leads to his crotch and snickers at him. America shrugs with an easy smile: you're sexy like that; what can I say?
The come is sticky on his chest. He smears it away with one palm. "You don't need to write on the outside." He pulls France's hand up to his chest. "'S already here."
Even though France rolls his eyes, he draws America's hand down to his lips to kiss his knuckles (tilts his hand so it's graceful, his fingers arching almost delicately) and rolls his hips up into America until America comes again, lost in the haze of love and pleasure and the endless blue of France's eyes.
A few drops of come are leaking out around his cock, like France is full already, but America wants him to be more than full, wants him overflowing, so he pushes the pillow back under his hips and pulls out to wrap his hand around himself. France is sprawled out like something out of America's filthiest fantasies, covered in his own come and sex-flushed and breathless, with every shred of composure vanished. And then he reaches down through his own legs to curl his hand around America's, and ohgod it's good, fuck, France's fingers are nimble, clever, working back to tease at his balls, and America tilts his hips forward so France can slip one-two-three fingers inside him, stretching almost to the point of pain, but bright-hot and sparking all up his spine.
Reply
Breathing. Breathing is pretty awesome. Maybe he should get on that. America sucks in air sharply and closes his eyes for a moment, and when he opens them, France is offering him the plug again.
"You want to - all night? Seriously?"
France smiles. "I find I am rather enjoying it."
"Oh." He twists the plug inside, rubbing his thumb over the base. "Oh, wow." A pause as America stares, stupidly, and he can't think of what to say. "Um. Hang on; I'll get a rag."
He runs warm water over a hand towel in the bathroom, and returns to run it softly over the trails of come across France's belly. Judging from the way France presses up into it and sighs in pleasure, it must feel good, and America bends over and trails kisses across the freshly-clean skin, because he doesn't have the words.
Eventually, he nuzzles down on the bed, curling up around France's back and shoving his glasses off onto the nightstand. He feels clean-sleepy now, pressed down into the bed by a soft, calm weight, not the I-give-up sleep that comes when his bureaucrats have drained all the energy from him and left him wrung-out and headachey.
France half-turns to flutter their noses together, wordlessly, before he settles himself closer in America's arms and America follows him into sleep.
_____________________________
authornon says: Sorry this took so long; real life kind of interfered. I hope you like it! Concrit is totally welcome.
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Just a note:
"Sometimes France has sex like it's a game, and sometimes he has sex like it's a work of art. Now, though, he's having sex like it's his whole world, abandoning himself to it, careless of proper posture or seductive lighting, and this is America's favorite; making France lose himself like this - it feels like vertigo, like the first few moments after jumping when his parachute hasn't opened yet: trembly and overawed and thrilling from it."
Despite this story being smut, you still manage to include some beautiful and character-describing moments. Very, VERY few PWP authors are able to do that, so kudos to you. You had many other moments in this story where you did this, but I liked this one the best =D
This could count as a personal preference, so ignore this is you want: when describing the characters coming, I like a bit more description. I mean you're bang on with your other descriptions, like of their eyes and their spilt cum, but the actual act is very vague. As excessive cum is one of my kinks (It's a kink, it's supposed to be weird, so don't judge!) I like the actual act of ejactulation being described. Something like:
"America groaned as his dick twitched and cum came bursting out of his slit. It poured into Francis, shooting deep into his heat and slowly filling his passage with liquid heat"
Despite the obvious crapiness of it, the act of ejaculation is quite well described. Not only is it hot, but it makes the story seems longer and could be useful in future endeavours. ;)
What's the wink for...?
Yeah, so I'm gonna stop because... yeah, I have absolutely no authority to be saying this. Awesome story, awesome kink, and awesome you.
Yay!
reCAPTCHA: control coccus - hmm, do I sense some withheld orgasm fics coming up?
Reply
Thanks for the crit; I did try at first to be super-detailed about the come itself but the description just would not work the way I wanted it to, so I settled for possessiveness instead rather than keep stuff I felt was totally ooc /o\ also, I weirded myself out completely thinking about the sperm swimming around like little tadpoles
You totally do have authority, though. As someone who has that kink (while I'm just a curious outside observer), you know best how it ought to be written. And I have far too many shameful kinks of my own to judge anyone else's.
Reply
Just, gah. I am incoherent with the awesome. Also, with the late hour. I should be sleeping, dammit.
No crit, though I was surprised at the lack of French pet names. No chous, chers, or coeurs XD
Reply
/tucks you into bed
Yeah, my French is rudimentary at best (I took two years in high school...three years ago), so I'm a bit wary about including it in fills because I'm afraid I'll get it wrong, and I know how frustrating that can be to native speakers hehe.
Reply
Awesome fill, authoranon!
'involving freemen'. I should think so, CAPTCHA! ;)
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