Chaos Theory 5/?
anonymous
April 13 2010, 07:53:08 UTC
They lolled about and splashed. Matthew refused to get much into it, Lovino looked like he wanted to have them all 'sleep with the fishes', but Liz had a blast in their splash wars. Only when the sun began to set, and colors came over the lake like a canvas in red and blue and purple did they get out.
Antonio carried Lovino on his back out of the water.
"I hope you die," he spat out. He looked away to hide his blush.
"If I die near you, then it'll be a happy death!"
"Crazy fool," Lovino muttered, but it lacked vitriol.
"I'm seconding this, you're a crazy motherfucker, man," Gilbert said.
Matthew looked perplexed. "Why is it that you're always threatening each other with painful death? Don't you like one another?"
"It's love, Matthieu," Francis explained.
"We're not like that," Matthew mumbled in response. He pushed up his glasses, which were spattered with water. There was already a red tint forming at his cheeks.
"That's because they're barbarians, and we're not," Francis said.
Gilbert gave his best 'wild ape' impression, while Lizzy joined in with her cry of the Huns - the same cry they'd terrorized the neighborhood with when they were younger. Antonio gave a Conquistador crazyeye, while Lovino looked like he thought they were all idiots.
"See what I mean?" Francis said.
"I'm just going to smile and nod," Matthew replied.
Lizzy squeezed her hair dry. Before then, it'd fallen over her chest, providing accidental coverage. Now she was bare again, and her nipples were hard from the cold. Francis took a long, appreciative glance at Liz's breasts.
Matthew elbowed him, and hissed Francis.
"What?" he said.
"Don't you mind?" Matthew asked.
"They're awesome tits," Gilbert said. He shrugged, and took long look himself. Lizzy herself either didn't care, or was too busy collecting her things to really take note.
Matthew looked cross. He rolled his eyes. "Whatever."
"Matthieu, don't be like that," Francis said.
Matthew didn't respond. He bent away to pick up his clothes. Francis took hold of his wrist.
"Come here. I think you hurt yourself when you fell."
"What, I'm-"
"Come with me," Francis said silkily. "I'll dry you off."
A sly look passed between Antonio and Francis. "Lovi, I think we should go over here. I'll help you get dressed again~ I wouldn't want Francis to sneak a look at you, now would we?"
He pulled Lovino off before he could make a complaint.
Lizzy got that glazed look in her eyes.
Gilbert gripped her wrist. "Oh no you don't."
"Keep holding on and I'll reintroduce your shins to my feet."
"Crazy bitch."
"Bastard."
"We can fuck and watch."
"Ok!"
There really was no fighting with her when it came to dudes kissing. Anyways, Francis wouldn't care if they watched. Hell, he'd probably get off on it. And by 'probably' he meant definitely. Antonio was always amiable about those kinds of things, so he'd probably be fine with it. Lovino, on the other hand, would probably kill them.
They went further up the hill where there was just enough bushes to hide them. Not that their friends were doing much looking around. Lizzy kept looking back and forth, her face flushed with glee. Francis was getting to second base (how do one get to second base on a guy, anyways?) .
Once when they'd been utterly wasted with a pair of party girls, the thought of a triple-date that turned into some kind of mass orgy had come up. But here, he'd have to pass with pickings like this. A cranky mercurial Italian and a nerdy, quiet Canadian just weren't cutting it in his fantasy. Liz's fantasy, however.....
Re: Chaos Theory 5/?
anonymous
April 13 2010, 15:33:28 UTC
Hahaha, oh God, Gilbert, I love you. But I love this Lizzy just a little bit more than you considering she's by far my favourite part of the fic. Only Hetalia would have me get hot for a woman skinnydipping with five hot guys. Seriously, the fact that she doesn't care about flashing everyone makes her damn hot. Francis is the second best thing in the story, by virtue of all the cast being perverts and Francis being thrice the pervert anybody else is
Chaos Theory 6/?
anonymous
April 13 2010, 16:54:51 UTC
Lovino had, his back pushed against a tree for leverage. That was going to leave some serious scratches in the morning. Antonio was kissing his neck, propping him up as they rubbed together.
On the other side, Francis was on top of Matthew. For a moment, Gilbert thought he was giving it to him good, but then he realized that Francis was riding Matthew's cock, and not the other way around. Right about now would be the point to snicker about Francis' lack of manhood, but he made no secret that he loved taking it up the ass. Then again, was there anything sexual he didn't love? Maybe something really hardcore, but if so, Gilbert had yet to see it. Besides, he might be apologizing. Matthew had seemed pretty ticked off at him.
Other people might've been annoyed that she wasn't paying attention at all, but awesome him didn't care. Less foreplay, he could get right down to it because she was already wet from the view. He slicked two fingers with spit and stuck them deep into her. She moaned, and moved her hips against him. He thrust his fingers in and out, until they were sticky with the scent of her.
"You like that, don't you," he whispered, smirking. She moaned as he brushed his thumb over her throbbing clit. Her breath caught. He wondered how quick he could make her come with all this visual stimulation. In their drunker moments, the trio had tried to see who could get their partner off the quickest. To date, Francis had always won. This was a title Gilbert would just love to steal.
Fuck, he was hard. He searched around the pocket of his pants for a condom and slipped it on. She was on the pill right now, but he wasn't taking any chances at fatherhood just yet.
"Got your binoculars with you?"
"Duh," she said.
They passed them back and forth, and he had to admit that Francis had a great sex face. Maybe he should go into the porno industry. He'd probably love that . Antonio and Lovino had moved from the tree to rolling around in the scattered leaves.
Gilbert ran his fingers over Lizzy's breasts. He swirled his thumbs over her hard nipples, and licked up her back.
"Just fuck me now, you bastard," she gasped.
"Your wish is my command," he replied with no undue smugness.
He gripped her hips and moved into her. It was warm and soft. She squeezed the muscles tight around him and he gritted his teeth and nuzzled into her back. He bit her shoulder and he felt her nails sink down into his leg. She liked it rough, and he thought it personally one of her best traits.
Francis had bent down for a kiss, while Antonio and Lovino were tangled up in each other with leaves in their hair. He brushed against her aching clit harder now. He couldn't have them getting ahead of him and winning.
"Oh, oh," she gasped.
He bit her shoulder, but not hard enough to draw blood.
"Harder!"
"What's that, I can't hear you-" Gilbert teased.
"I know damn well you heard me. And I said 'harder'!"
He thrust into her, and gave it to her good. If she was a field, then he just plowed her like a motherfucker with all of his awesomeness combined. In the haze of almost coming, he watched the others to see how close they were. Lovino was spread out beneath Antonio, his face flushed as Antonio pounded the angry out of him. Matthew had his hands on Francis' back as they moved together.
"It's so hot...oh-" She said, and he didn't think she meant the temperature.
And then, Gilbert proved the utter awesome as Lizzy came around him, moaning a long ohhhhhh. Even if the rest of them were with easy to get off guys, he'd finished her off first. And everyone knew that girls took forever to get off and were finding their g-spot was like trying to find the fucking lost city of El Dorado. But he'd come out on top. So what if half of it was probably from the guylove? He was still unmitigated awesome. The score stood at World 0, Gilbert over 9000.
Chaos Theory 7/?
anonymous
April 13 2010, 16:57:47 UTC
*
They all laid outside the lake, well-fucked and too languid to go home yet. Antonio and him had even managed a fire, of sorts.
"I wish we had some beer," Gilbert said.
"I'd offer my flask, but it's empty now," Antonio said.
"We'd have to suck your shirt or something," Gilbert said.
"Sounds just like last summer, south of the border," Francis said. He laughed, Gilbert laughed, Antonio flushed, but laughed it off too. Lovino punched Antonio's arm and sent a glare around at anyone who would glare to try.
"Matthieu, did you remember to bring what I asked?"
"Oh, of course," he said.
He reached into some inner pocket of his pants and pulled out a plastic bag and lighter.
"Is that what I think it is?" Antonio said.
"Holy shit, it is. Your good Catholic boyfriend is a pothead, and Antonio's is a mafioso," Gilbert said. "My mind, it is blown."
"I only smoke occasionally. Besides, it's legal where I come from," Matthew replied without looking up.
"Man, you must be stoned all day long up there," Gilbert said.
"Alcohol is legal down here, but that doesn't mean that the entire populace spends their days doing nothing but drinking," Matthew replied.
"No, just a good portion," Gilbert said. He and Antonio did a fistbump. Matthew rolled his eyes.
"Great, so they'll be trying to scale the trees talking about pretty colors," Lovino said. He balled his hand into a fist, like he was getting ready to punch someone.
"That's LSD and Acid. This will just mellow you out and make you hungry, eh."
"And how do you even know that, hmm?" Francis said. He nuzzled against Matthew's neck.
"I have friends..." he broke off in a moan as Francis bit his neck.
"Jeez, cut down on the PDA, would ya, Francis? What next, fucking him all while we watch?" Gilbert said. Of course, Gilbert didn't care, but it was fun to mess with Liz.`
Matthew let out a squeak and ducked his head. His blush was luminescent. "N-no!"
Francis laughed, and kissed Matthew's neck. "I'm teasing, I'm teasing," he murmured against him. Finally, after a little coaxing, Matthew came out of his embarrassment and returned to the task at hand.
Matthew lit the joint, and passed it to Francis first. It was an oddly romantic gesture. But soon, the sickly sweet smell of Mary Jane was distracting him from how domesticated they were all getting. Francis took a deep draw, and his eyes took that unfocused, glassy tinge akin to just when he'd come. He leaned back, resting against Matthew and passed it to Antonio. He took it like a pro, stopping only to remark that it was some seriously good quality stuff.
Lovino could use with some chilling out. He grimaced, but on Antonio's urgings, he finally took a drag on the toke. He erupted into a fit of coughing. Antonio slapped him on the back.
"Not quite so hard, Lovi."
She took the joint from him. "Ladies first."
"Since when were you a lady?" Gilbert said.
She stuck her tongue out. "Since now."
"Since never," Gilbert scoffed. Still, he let her take a draw. The smoke was quite thick now. He breathed in deep and felt himself become weightless. Then it was his turn. He closed his eyes and sucked on that fucker like he was giving head. He held in the smoke until he felt like he was going to explode, and then released it with only a slight cough. Matthew took the last draw before the circle started again, and didn't cough at all. He must have had lots of practice.
Chaos Theory 8/?
anonymous
April 13 2010, 17:00:47 UTC
"I wouldn't usually say this, but you guys are actually kind of awesome. Awesome enough to be part of the trio, at least for as long as we're all around," Gilbert said.
Antonio laughed. "I'm with Lovi for life, otherwise, he'll kill me. Give me some concrete shoes, eh Lovito?"
"She'd castrate me and feed me my entrails if I ever ditched her," Gilbert said. "I'd wish for death."
They looked at Matthew.
"I'm a pacifist," he said, shrugging. "If Francis wishes to spend his life going from bar floozie to bar floozie, having nothing but meaningless sex and being emotionally crippled and disease ridden until he finally dies a sad, lonely death, then I can't exact stop him, now can I?" He smiled too sweetly at Francis. So sweet it looked almost predatory, like he was daring Francis to say otherwise. Gilbert was getting a feeling that Matthew wasn't half as fragile as he seemed at first glance.
Gilbert broke out laughing. "Oh, that's priceless! You shouldn't let this one get away, Francis."
"I second that," Antonio said.
"Thirding that notion!" Lizzy added. Though, Gilbert thought, she'd third any relationship of Francis' with a male.
"Forthed," Lovino said. They all turned to stare at him, surprised. "But only because he's the only sane one here, save myself. It's N-not like I care or anything."
Antonio laughed and snuggled close to Lovino, who protested, but not too much. The fire burned to embers.
*
The trip back was through dark woods, yet none of them seemed spooked. It might have been the weed, but more likely that once you've faced a psycho with a gun, stories of werewolves or vampires just didn't cut it. By the time they got to the car, they were ravenous. Lovino sounded more like his brother with the way he was grumbling about wanting pasta.
"Hey, there's the beer. I thought we forgot it," Gilbert noted. He pulled the tab and took a long swig.
"And food! You won't starve, Lovi!"
"It probably tastes like shit, anyways. None of you know how to cook decently," Lovino muttered.
"That's not true, Lovino," Antonio said. "Francis is an excellent cook."
"I'm not touching anything that creep cooks! Last time, the chocolate was weird..." Lovino flushed at the memory.
"Ah, That was a time to remember," Antonio said. "You were so cute..."
"You're welcome for that, by the way," Francis said with a wink.
"Screw you, you French bastard!" Lovino shot back.
"Well, if you're offering..." Francis said with a lascivious grin.
Lovino growled in frustration, and Antonio's superior strengrth was probably all that kept him from killing Francis.
"Now if only we'd had these earlier," Gilbert said as he shoved more food in his mouth. The munchies were killing him, man. There for a minute on the walk back, he was pretty sure there was going to be cannibalism. And not the sexy kind, either.
"We'd have dropped it when we ran into Zwigli anyways," Matthew said reasonably. He avoided the beer, but grabbed the chips. He passed the bag to Lovino, who begrudgingly tried.
"How long will the battery last?" Francis asked.
"Until after the nuclear apocalypse. I think Ludvig wakes up in the night just to double-check the oil and vacuum the thing," Gilbert said. He took another sip of beer.
Francis was rifling through the front seat for something. "A tape deck...? How old is this thing?" He said with some incredulity.
"Ancient. Ludvig never throws out stuff, don't you know?" Gilbert responded.
Francis muttered something in French and fiddled around with the radio. There was a garbled noise of static and fractions of completely unawesome songs, from cringe worthy country, to power ballads of pure suck. Finally, he settled on a on one of those public access stations. NPR or something. After a few words from the most chilled out DJ he'd ever heard, Clair de Lune started playing.
Chaos Theory 9/?
anonymous
April 13 2010, 17:11:32 UTC
"Classical? Seriously, Francis?" Gilbert said.
"Would you prefer an easy listening station?" Francis said.
"Ugh, hell no. If Celine Dion came on, I might just have to put myself out of my misery."
"You like Beethoven. Beethoven is classical," Francis said.
"That's because Beethoven was awesome. I have the coolest techno remix of the Ninth on my computer at home," Gilbert said.
"It suits my purposes," Francis said. And with that, the subject was closed.
Francis held out his hand. "Care for a dance, mon chéri?"
"Oh..sure. I'm not very good at dancing, though. Two left feet, eh," Matthew replied. He rubbed crumbs from his face, which had just the slightest flush and took Francis' hand. Francis was a little too drunk and stoned for anything fancy, so their dancing was more of the high school slow dance kind. Which everyone knew was just an excuse for synchronized public groping and grinding. Matthew had his hands about Francis' waist, and rested his head on Francis' shoulder. In turn, Francis moved his hands. He wasn't called 'The Octopus' for nothing. First they were around his neck, but as the song played, they went down until they were resting on his ass. And somehow, Francis managed to still keep this blatant gropefest romantic. Ugh. Maybe you had to be French to get away with it.
Though Gilbert did have to admit that Matthew looked really content. More than just content, he was just...happy.
Antonio was feeding Lovino. Gilbert was pretty sure Lovino could've fed himself, but knowing Antonio, it was probably some foreplay for a second round, or something. With all this boy loving going on, Liz looked as content as a cat full of milk.
Slow dancing wasn't his thing. The Electric Slide, Breakdancing, grinding - now those were dances he could get into. Slow beats just made him feel like falling asleep. Liz was pretty good about that, though. She rarely complained about him being unromantic. Which was good, because she might as well complain about the sky being blue.
*
Liz drove on the way home, mostly because Gilbert tended to like to make his rides 'more awesome' when he was stoned. And because she'd been too busy looking at all the guylove to drink. It'd long grown dark by then.
Matthew rested his head on Francis' shoulder. Francis' hands were idly playing with Matthew's hair. Antonio was nursing a beer, and Lovino was spread out over him, his head on his chest.
Matthew's was the first stop. They idled at the gated apartment complex, with its pseudo-Historical bent.
"Matthieu, we're here. Time to wake up," Francis murmured. His voice was soft, gentle. He kissed Matthew's forehead.
"'m not asleep... 'm up," Matthew said groggily. He rubbed at his eyes, found where his glasses had fallen off too, and untangled himself Francis. He then stepped out, a little shakily, as if he might fall over.
"G'night, everyone," Matthew said.
Francis leaned out the window and pulled Matthew to him for a goodnight kiss.
"Arthur is going to kill you," Matthew breathed, as he broke from the kiss. Francis' hands were still by his cheeks, tangled up in his hair.
"I'd like to see him try," Francis replied.
"You will in a moment. He's getting my brother," Matthew said.
"You frog! What are you doing to Matthew?!"
Matthew leaned in for one last kiss, broken apart when the door burst open at their complex and Lizzy floored the gas pedal.
"Bonne nuit, mon chou," Francis called back.
"Bonne nuit, mon amour," Matthew replied. But it was drowned out in the sound of Arthur and Alfred yelling, and the sound of the car roaring away down the road.
Chaos Theory 10/11
anonymous
April 13 2010, 17:16:56 UTC
*
Lovino's house was next. They pulled up, and the first thing Gilbert noticed was a Ludvig-like shape silhouetted across the curtains.
"The potato bastard is here," Lovino said through gritted teeth.
This somehow lead to them going inside. Probably Liz's doing, the promise of more guylove and all. Ludvig's hair looked oddly disordered, and his shirt not quite buttoned up right. And if Gilbert knew anything, it was that Ludvig always was in order, unless perhaps he'd gotten interrupted.... Heh, nice to see that his brother got some too. Gilbert hoped he'd not taking for-fucking-ever and had actually finished, because Ludvig with blue balls would be hellish to deal with.
"Hi Antonio!" Feliciano chirped. He wasn't wearing pants. In fact, he seemed to only be wearing a shirt entirely too large for him - which might have explained why Ludvig's shirt wasn't fitting him right.
Lovino glared daggers at both of them, and Ludvig simultaneously.
"Wait...is that my car?"
"Hell no, it's just a car that happens to look a lot like your car-"
"I believe I expressly forbid you from taking my car out," Ludvig said through gritted teeth.
"What are you, my fucking parent? Seriously, Ludvig. It's not like I totaled it. Chill out."
"Veeee, Ludvig. He took good care of my brother, so you shouldn't be so harsh on him. It's been so long since Lovi went anywhere."
"S-shut up! I don't need your pity!" Lovino cried. He dashed off up the stairs. Antonio cried out after him once, and then followed him.
Ludvig's grimace softened, until the hard edges seemed to lessen. Ah, the powers of sex so that even a tightass like Ludvig could see reason after a good fucking. And despite being rather a twit, Gilbert had to admit that Feliciano was all right. Anybody who could make Ludwig chill the fuck out for once was good with him, as far as he was concerned.
"I'm staying over. I expect you to return the car in a timely manner. I will see myself home sometime in the morning," Ludvig said. "Do you understand? Or do I have to repeat it more slowly?"
"Yes, mein Führer!" Gilbert saluted.
"That's not funny, Gilbert," Ludvig said.
"No, it's fucking hilarious," Gilbert called back. He jumped the last steps out. Awesomely. Seriously, James Bond had nothing on the awesome him. Antonio could see himself out. It looked like he was going to be busy fucking Lovino into the sheets, anyways.
*
So all that was left was him and Liz, driving down to her house. The backseat beckoned, and he thought of taking a little 'detour' down sexy lane. She had been paying attention to his friends the whole last time they were together, so the second round her eyes would be all on him.
"How much grounding time are you slated for, anyways?" He asked. "Ten years? Twenty?"
"None, probably. My parents are just glad that I'm dating guys."
Gilbert chuckled. "I can just see it. Lizzy the Lezzie. I think it's got a nice ring to it, don't you? Does this mean I get to watch?"
"Stoooppp iitt," she laughed and punched him in the arm.
He waggled his eyebrows. "It's only right, considering."
"Speaking of which...I think you should meet Roderich," she said. Her voice took on a dreamy edge, but she wasn't stoned or high.
"The hell? I thought you were over him!"
"After today, I think I deserve this. Kiss him, and get it on tape. That's the apology I want from you for forgetting the camera," she said.
"You know, normal women make their boyfriends buy them purses and flowers and shit," Gilbert grumbled.
She stuck out her tongue. "Like any 'normal woman' would be dating you."
"Fine. I'll take control of his 'vital regions' and get it on tape. Happy now?"
She kissed him. "Very!"
And then, because no one was watching, he brushed the hair from her face and kissed her slow. It might have almost been considered romantic, but for him it was just awesome on a slower pace to make it last longer.
Chaos Theory 11/11
anonymous
April 13 2010, 17:18:14 UTC
"So, is everyone here. Antonio, you're better with cameras than Francis, I hope?"
Francis took a hold of the large brass knocker carved in a grotesque shape of some gremlin or something and knocked. He used that French charm of his way straight to the master. And that was when Gilbert struck. He jumped out from the bushes and practically tackled Roderich. They weren't that much different in terms of height, so it didn't take much to yank on his cravat (and seriously, who wears a cravat anymore?) and pull him down for a kiss. He shoved him to the wall and rubbed over his vital regions. A moan escaped his throat as Gilbert bit his lower lip.
When he broke the kiss, Roderich looked dazed, confused, flustered, and more than a little turned on.
"What the-"
"You like that, bitch? Well, your vital regions just got claimed in the name of Liz."
Gilbert still had a hold of the cravat. He licked his lips, ground his hips against Roderich, and then stepped back and out of there. They ran off while Roderich tried to gather what was left of his composure.
Gilbert liked to think of that as the best fuck that Roderich never had.
Re: Chaos Theory 11/11
anonymous
April 13 2010, 19:59:40 UTC
This. Was. Awesome. On so MANY LEVELS I CAN'T COUNT THEM!!!!!
I want to be like your Lizzy when I grow up. Seriously. And you captured a wonderful Gilbert, and you managed to put Arthur in it and...you are amazing.
And I usually don't even read high-school AUs!
Laughed. Loud. Can't wait for my family to ask "what was so funny, darling?"
Re: Chaos Theory 11/11
anonymous
April 13 2010, 22:34:01 UTC
It probably was, too xDDDDDDDD
This fic was hilarious! LOL, the fact that we get Gilbert's narration would give it away anyway, but man, you got his voice perfectly. His crude language and crude humour, his inflated image of himself, and his own particular brand of romanticism and affection for his girlfriend and friends are a delicious treat.
"I'm a pacifist," he said, shrugging. "If Francis wishes to spend his life going from bar floozie to bar floozie, having nothing but meaningless sex and being emotionally crippled and disease ridden until he finally dies a sad, lonely death, then I can't exact stop him, now can I?"
That was the most badass moment in the entire story ♥
Which everyone knew was just an excuse for synchronized public groping and grinding.
An excellent description, if I ever saw oneXD
All the part about the choosing of the music, classical discussion and the dance was fantastic, lol. Specially the part concerning Francis' hand-multiplying abilities:
Matthew had his hands about Francis' waist, and rested his head on Francis' shoulder. In turn, Francis moved his hands. He wasn't called 'The Octopus' for nothing. First they were around his neck, but as the song played, they went down until they were resting on his ass. And somehow, Francis managed to still keep this blatant gropefest romantic. Ugh. Maybe you had to be French to get away with it.
Also, Lizzy rocks. Man, I wish I had a boyfrined willing to do those kind of thingsXD
And then, because no one was watching, he brushed the hair from her face and kissed her slow. It might have almost been considered romantic, but for him it was just awesome on a slower pace to make it last longer.
AWWWW, man. That's so oddly cute and lovely. What a great way to end the date ^^
Re: Chaos Theory 11/11
anonymous
April 14 2010, 02:47:49 UTC
You are a champion, anonymous! Seriously, besides the hilarity and the thousand and one other reasons fellow anons have named, this is the first time I've read a het sex scene in probably 3 years and it was AWESOME. In a slightly unrelated note, your Hungary acts a lot like I do, especially the part about her parents being glad she's actually dating a guy. That settles it. I need to go find a Prussia. TO GERMANY AND AWAY!
Re: Chaos Theory 11/11
anonymous
April 19 2010, 17:40:14 UTC
Ahahaha this is amazing on soooo many levels. Everyone was perfectly in characters, I adored Prussia's narration, and omfg everyone having sex at the lake was fucking hot.
And Gilbert's and Lizzie's relationship? Priceless.
They lolled about and splashed. Matthew refused to get much into it, Lovino looked like he wanted to have them all 'sleep with the fishes', but Liz had a blast in their splash wars. Only when the sun began to set, and colors came over the lake like a canvas in red and blue and purple did they get out.
Antonio carried Lovino on his back out of the water.
"I hope you die," he spat out. He looked away to hide his blush.
"If I die near you, then it'll be a happy death!"
"Crazy fool," Lovino muttered, but it lacked vitriol.
"I'm seconding this, you're a crazy motherfucker, man," Gilbert said.
Matthew looked perplexed. "Why is it that you're always threatening each other with painful death? Don't you like one another?"
"It's love, Matthieu," Francis explained.
"We're not like that," Matthew mumbled in response. He pushed up his glasses, which were spattered with water. There was already a red tint forming at his cheeks.
"That's because they're barbarians, and we're not," Francis said.
Gilbert gave his best 'wild ape' impression, while Lizzy joined in with her cry of the Huns - the same cry they'd terrorized the neighborhood with when they were younger. Antonio gave a Conquistador crazyeye, while Lovino looked like he thought they were all idiots.
"See what I mean?" Francis said.
"I'm just going to smile and nod," Matthew replied.
Lizzy squeezed her hair dry. Before then, it'd fallen over her chest, providing accidental coverage. Now she was bare again, and her nipples were hard from the cold. Francis took a long, appreciative glance at Liz's breasts.
Matthew elbowed him, and hissed Francis.
"What?" he said.
"Don't you mind?" Matthew asked.
"They're awesome tits," Gilbert said. He shrugged, and took long look himself. Lizzy herself either didn't care, or was too busy collecting her things to really take note.
Matthew looked cross. He rolled his eyes. "Whatever."
"Matthieu, don't be like that," Francis said.
Matthew didn't respond. He bent away to pick up his clothes. Francis took hold of his wrist.
"Come here. I think you hurt yourself when you fell."
"What, I'm-"
"Come with me," Francis said silkily. "I'll dry you off."
A sly look passed between Antonio and Francis. "Lovi, I think we should go over here. I'll help you get dressed again~ I wouldn't want Francis to sneak a look at you, now would we?"
He pulled Lovino off before he could make a complaint.
Lizzy got that glazed look in her eyes.
Gilbert gripped her wrist. "Oh no you don't."
"Keep holding on and I'll reintroduce your shins to my feet."
"Crazy bitch."
"Bastard."
"We can fuck and watch."
"Ok!"
There really was no fighting with her when it came to dudes kissing. Anyways, Francis wouldn't care if they watched. Hell, he'd probably get off on it. And by 'probably' he meant definitely. Antonio was always amiable about those kinds of things, so he'd probably be fine with it. Lovino, on the other hand, would probably kill them.
They went further up the hill where there was just enough bushes to hide them. Not that their friends were doing much looking around. Lizzy kept looking back and forth, her face flushed with glee. Francis was getting to second base (how do one get to second base on a guy, anyways?) .
Once when they'd been utterly wasted with a pair of party girls, the thought of a triple-date that turned into some kind of mass orgy had come up. But here, he'd have to pass with pickings like this. A cranky mercurial Italian and a nerdy, quiet Canadian just weren't cutting it in his fantasy. Liz's fantasy, however.....
"I wish I could be taping this," she said.
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Francis is the second best thing in the story, by virtue of all the cast being perverts and Francis being thrice the pervert anybody else is
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On the other side, Francis was on top of Matthew. For a moment, Gilbert thought he was giving it to him good, but then he realized that Francis was riding Matthew's cock, and not the other way around. Right about now would be the point to snicker about Francis' lack of manhood, but he made no secret that he loved taking it up the ass. Then again, was there anything sexual he didn't love? Maybe something really hardcore, but if so, Gilbert had yet to see it. Besides, he might be apologizing. Matthew had seemed pretty ticked off at him.
Other people might've been annoyed that she wasn't paying attention at all, but awesome him didn't care. Less foreplay, he could get right down to it because she was already wet from the view. He slicked two fingers with spit and stuck them deep into her. She moaned, and moved her hips against him. He thrust his fingers in and out, until they were sticky with the scent of her.
"You like that, don't you," he whispered, smirking. She moaned as he brushed his thumb over her throbbing clit. Her breath caught. He wondered how quick he could make her come with all this visual stimulation. In their drunker moments, the trio had tried to see who could get their partner off the quickest. To date, Francis had always won. This was a title Gilbert would just love to steal.
Fuck, he was hard. He searched around the pocket of his pants for a condom and slipped it on. She was on the pill right now, but he wasn't taking any chances at fatherhood just yet.
"Got your binoculars with you?"
"Duh," she said.
They passed them back and forth, and he had to admit that Francis had a great sex face. Maybe he should go into the porno industry. He'd probably love that . Antonio and Lovino had moved from the tree to rolling around in the scattered leaves.
Gilbert ran his fingers over Lizzy's breasts. He swirled his thumbs over her hard nipples, and licked up her back.
"Just fuck me now, you bastard," she gasped.
"Your wish is my command," he replied with no undue smugness.
He gripped her hips and moved into her. It was warm and soft. She squeezed the muscles tight around him and he gritted his teeth and nuzzled into her back. He bit her shoulder and he felt her nails sink down into his leg. She liked it rough, and he thought it personally one of her best traits.
Francis had bent down for a kiss, while Antonio and Lovino were tangled up in each other with leaves in their hair. He brushed against her aching clit harder now. He couldn't have them getting ahead of him and winning.
"Oh, oh," she gasped.
He bit her shoulder, but not hard enough to draw blood.
"Harder!"
"What's that, I can't hear you-" Gilbert teased.
"I know damn well you heard me. And I said 'harder'!"
He thrust into her, and gave it to her good. If she was a field, then he just plowed her like a motherfucker with all of his awesomeness combined. In the haze of almost coming, he watched the others to see how close they were. Lovino was spread out beneath Antonio, his face flushed as Antonio pounded the angry out of him. Matthew had his hands on Francis' back as they moved together.
"It's so hot...oh-" She said, and he didn't think she meant the temperature.
And then, Gilbert proved the utter awesome as Lizzy came around him, moaning a long ohhhhhh. Even if the rest of them were with easy to get off guys, he'd finished her off first. And everyone knew that girls took forever to get off and were finding their g-spot was like trying to find the fucking lost city of El Dorado. But he'd come out on top. So what if half of it was probably from the guylove? He was still unmitigated awesome. The score stood at World 0, Gilbert over 9000.
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*
They all laid outside the lake, well-fucked and too languid to go home yet. Antonio and him had even managed a fire, of sorts.
"I wish we had some beer," Gilbert said.
"I'd offer my flask, but it's empty now," Antonio said.
"We'd have to suck your shirt or something," Gilbert said.
"Sounds just like last summer, south of the border," Francis said. He laughed, Gilbert laughed, Antonio flushed, but laughed it off too. Lovino punched Antonio's arm and sent a glare around at anyone who would glare to try.
"Matthieu, did you remember to bring what I asked?"
"Oh, of course," he said.
He reached into some inner pocket of his pants and pulled out a plastic bag and lighter.
"Is that what I think it is?" Antonio said.
"Holy shit, it is. Your good Catholic boyfriend is a pothead, and Antonio's is a mafioso," Gilbert said. "My mind, it is blown."
"I only smoke occasionally. Besides, it's legal where I come from," Matthew replied without looking up.
"Man, you must be stoned all day long up there," Gilbert said.
"Alcohol is legal down here, but that doesn't mean that the entire populace spends their days doing nothing but drinking," Matthew replied.
"No, just a good portion," Gilbert said. He and Antonio did a fistbump. Matthew rolled his eyes.
"Great, so they'll be trying to scale the trees talking about pretty colors," Lovino said. He balled his hand into a fist, like he was getting ready to punch someone.
"That's LSD and Acid. This will just mellow you out and make you hungry, eh."
"And how do you even know that, hmm?" Francis said. He nuzzled against Matthew's neck.
"I have friends..." he broke off in a moan as Francis bit his neck.
"Jeez, cut down on the PDA, would ya, Francis? What next, fucking him all while we watch?" Gilbert said. Of course, Gilbert didn't care, but it was fun to mess with Liz.`
Liz elbowed him. Hard. "We. Are. Fine. With. PDA. Carry on, boys."
"Well, what do you say, Matthieu? Should we?"
Matthew let out a squeak and ducked his head. His blush was luminescent. "N-no!"
Francis laughed, and kissed Matthew's neck. "I'm teasing, I'm teasing," he murmured against him. Finally, after a little coaxing, Matthew came out of his embarrassment and returned to the task at hand.
Matthew lit the joint, and passed it to Francis first. It was an oddly romantic gesture. But soon, the sickly sweet smell of Mary Jane was distracting him from how domesticated they were all getting. Francis took a deep draw, and his eyes took that unfocused, glassy tinge akin to just when he'd come. He leaned back, resting against Matthew and passed it to Antonio. He took it like a pro, stopping only to remark that it was some seriously good quality stuff.
Lovino could use with some chilling out. He grimaced, but on Antonio's urgings, he finally took a drag on the toke. He erupted into a fit of coughing. Antonio slapped him on the back.
"Not quite so hard, Lovi."
She took the joint from him. "Ladies first."
"Since when were you a lady?" Gilbert said.
She stuck her tongue out. "Since now."
"Since never," Gilbert scoffed. Still, he let her take a draw. The smoke was quite thick now. He breathed in deep and felt himself become weightless. Then it was his turn. He closed his eyes and sucked on that fucker like he was giving head. He held in the smoke until he felt like he was going to explode, and then released it with only a slight cough. Matthew took the last draw before the circle started again, and didn't cough at all. He must have had lots of practice.
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"I wouldn't usually say this, but you guys are actually kind of awesome. Awesome enough to be part of the trio, at least for as long as we're all around," Gilbert said.
Antonio laughed. "I'm with Lovi for life, otherwise, he'll kill me. Give me some concrete shoes, eh Lovito?"
"She'd castrate me and feed me my entrails if I ever ditched her," Gilbert said. "I'd wish for death."
They looked at Matthew.
"I'm a pacifist," he said, shrugging. "If Francis wishes to spend his life going from bar floozie to bar floozie, having nothing but meaningless sex and being emotionally crippled and disease ridden until he finally dies a sad, lonely death, then I can't exact stop him, now can I?" He smiled too sweetly at Francis. So sweet it looked almost predatory, like he was daring Francis to say otherwise. Gilbert was getting a feeling that Matthew wasn't half as fragile as he seemed at first glance.
Gilbert broke out laughing. "Oh, that's priceless! You shouldn't let this one get away, Francis."
"I second that," Antonio said.
"Thirding that notion!" Lizzy added. Though, Gilbert thought, she'd third any relationship of Francis' with a male.
"Forthed," Lovino said. They all turned to stare at him, surprised. "But only because he's the only sane one here, save myself. It's N-not like I care or anything."
Antonio laughed and snuggled close to Lovino, who protested, but not too much. The fire burned to embers.
*
The trip back was through dark woods, yet none of them seemed spooked. It might have been the weed, but more likely that once you've faced a psycho with a gun, stories of werewolves or vampires just didn't cut it. By the time they got to the car, they were ravenous. Lovino sounded more like his brother with the way he was grumbling about wanting pasta.
"Hey, there's the beer. I thought we forgot it," Gilbert noted. He pulled the tab and took a long swig.
"And food! You won't starve, Lovi!"
"It probably tastes like shit, anyways. None of you know how to cook decently," Lovino muttered.
"That's not true, Lovino," Antonio said. "Francis is an excellent cook."
"I'm not touching anything that creep cooks! Last time, the chocolate was weird..." Lovino flushed at the memory.
"Ah, That was a time to remember," Antonio said. "You were so cute..."
"You're welcome for that, by the way," Francis said with a wink.
"Screw you, you French bastard!" Lovino shot back.
"Well, if you're offering..." Francis said with a lascivious grin.
Lovino growled in frustration, and Antonio's superior strengrth was probably all that kept him from killing Francis.
"Now if only we'd had these earlier," Gilbert said as he shoved more food in his mouth. The munchies were killing him, man. There for a minute on the walk back, he was pretty sure there was going to be cannibalism. And not the sexy kind, either.
"We'd have dropped it when we ran into Zwigli anyways," Matthew said reasonably. He avoided the beer, but grabbed the chips. He passed the bag to Lovino, who begrudgingly tried.
"How long will the battery last?" Francis asked.
"Until after the nuclear apocalypse. I think Ludvig wakes up in the night just to double-check the oil and vacuum the thing," Gilbert said. He took another sip of beer.
Francis was rifling through the front seat for something. "A tape deck...? How old is this thing?" He said with some incredulity.
"Ancient. Ludvig never throws out stuff, don't you know?" Gilbert responded.
Francis muttered something in French and fiddled around with the radio. There was a garbled noise of static and fractions of completely unawesome songs, from cringe worthy country, to power ballads of pure suck. Finally, he settled on a on one of those public access stations. NPR or something. After a few words from the most chilled out DJ he'd ever heard, Clair de Lune started playing.
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"Classical? Seriously, Francis?" Gilbert said.
"Would you prefer an easy listening station?" Francis said.
"Ugh, hell no. If Celine Dion came on, I might just have to put myself out of my misery."
"You like Beethoven. Beethoven is classical," Francis said.
"That's because Beethoven was awesome. I have the coolest techno remix of the Ninth on my computer at home," Gilbert said.
"It suits my purposes," Francis said. And with that, the subject was closed.
Francis held out his hand. "Care for a dance, mon chéri?"
"Oh..sure. I'm not very good at dancing, though. Two left feet, eh," Matthew replied. He rubbed crumbs from his face, which had just the slightest flush and took Francis' hand. Francis was a little too drunk and stoned for anything fancy, so their dancing was more of the high school slow dance kind. Which everyone knew was just an excuse for synchronized public groping and grinding. Matthew had his hands about Francis' waist, and rested his head on Francis' shoulder. In turn, Francis moved his hands. He wasn't called 'The Octopus' for nothing. First they were around his neck, but as the song played, they went down until they were resting on his ass. And somehow, Francis managed to still keep this blatant gropefest romantic. Ugh. Maybe you had to be French to get away with it.
Though Gilbert did have to admit that Matthew looked really content. More than just content, he was just...happy.
Antonio was feeding Lovino. Gilbert was pretty sure Lovino could've fed himself, but knowing Antonio, it was probably some foreplay for a second round, or something. With all this boy loving going on, Liz looked as content as a cat full of milk.
Slow dancing wasn't his thing. The Electric Slide, Breakdancing, grinding - now those were dances he could get into. Slow beats just made him feel like falling asleep. Liz was pretty good about that, though. She rarely complained about him being unromantic. Which was good, because she might as well complain about the sky being blue.
*
Liz drove on the way home, mostly because Gilbert tended to like to make his rides 'more awesome' when he was stoned. And because she'd been too busy looking at all the guylove to drink. It'd long grown dark by then.
Matthew rested his head on Francis' shoulder. Francis' hands were idly playing with Matthew's hair. Antonio was nursing a beer, and Lovino was spread out over him, his head on his chest.
Matthew's was the first stop. They idled at the gated apartment complex, with its pseudo-Historical bent.
"Matthieu, we're here. Time to wake up," Francis murmured. His voice was soft, gentle. He kissed Matthew's forehead.
"'m not asleep... 'm up," Matthew said groggily. He rubbed at his eyes, found where his glasses had fallen off too, and untangled himself Francis. He then stepped out, a little shakily, as if he might fall over.
"G'night, everyone," Matthew said.
Francis leaned out the window and pulled Matthew to him for a goodnight kiss.
"Arthur is going to kill you," Matthew breathed, as he broke from the kiss. Francis' hands were still by his cheeks, tangled up in his hair.
"I'd like to see him try," Francis replied.
"You will in a moment. He's getting my brother," Matthew said.
"You frog! What are you doing to Matthew?!"
Matthew leaned in for one last kiss, broken apart when the door burst open at their complex and Lizzy floored the gas pedal.
"Bonne nuit, mon chou," Francis called back.
"Bonne nuit, mon amour," Matthew replied. But it was drowned out in the sound of Arthur and Alfred yelling, and the sound of the car roaring away down the road.
*
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Lovino's house was next. They pulled up, and the first thing Gilbert noticed was a Ludvig-like shape silhouetted across the curtains.
"The potato bastard is here," Lovino said through gritted teeth.
This somehow lead to them going inside. Probably Liz's doing, the promise of more guylove and all. Ludvig's hair looked oddly disordered, and his shirt not quite buttoned up right. And if Gilbert knew anything, it was that Ludvig always was in order, unless perhaps he'd gotten interrupted.... Heh, nice to see that his brother got some too. Gilbert hoped he'd not taking for-fucking-ever and had actually finished, because Ludvig with blue balls would be hellish to deal with.
"Hi Antonio!" Feliciano chirped. He wasn't wearing pants. In fact, he seemed to only be wearing a shirt entirely too large for him - which might have explained why Ludvig's shirt wasn't fitting him right.
Lovino glared daggers at both of them, and Ludvig simultaneously.
"Wait...is that my car?"
"Hell no, it's just a car that happens to look a lot like your car-"
"I believe I expressly forbid you from taking my car out," Ludvig said through gritted teeth.
"What are you, my fucking parent? Seriously, Ludvig. It's not like I totaled it. Chill out."
"Veeee, Ludvig. He took good care of my brother, so you shouldn't be so harsh on him. It's been so long since Lovi went anywhere."
"S-shut up! I don't need your pity!" Lovino cried. He dashed off up the stairs. Antonio cried out after him once, and then followed him.
Ludvig's grimace softened, until the hard edges seemed to lessen. Ah, the powers of sex so that even a tightass like Ludvig could see reason after a good fucking. And despite being rather a twit, Gilbert had to admit that Feliciano was all right. Anybody who could make Ludwig chill the fuck out for once was good with him, as far as he was concerned.
"I'm staying over. I expect you to return the car in a timely manner. I will see myself home sometime in the morning," Ludvig said. "Do you understand? Or do I have to repeat it more slowly?"
"Yes, mein Führer!" Gilbert saluted.
"That's not funny, Gilbert," Ludvig said.
"No, it's fucking hilarious," Gilbert called back. He jumped the last steps out. Awesomely. Seriously, James Bond had nothing on the awesome him. Antonio could see himself out. It looked like he was going to be busy fucking Lovino into the sheets, anyways.
*
So all that was left was him and Liz, driving down to her house. The backseat beckoned, and he thought of taking a little 'detour' down sexy lane. She had been paying attention to his friends the whole last time they were together, so the second round her eyes would be all on him.
"How much grounding time are you slated for, anyways?" He asked. "Ten years? Twenty?"
"None, probably. My parents are just glad that I'm dating guys."
Gilbert chuckled. "I can just see it. Lizzy the Lezzie. I think it's got a nice ring to it, don't you? Does this mean I get to watch?"
"Stoooppp iitt," she laughed and punched him in the arm.
He waggled his eyebrows. "It's only right, considering."
"Speaking of which...I think you should meet Roderich," she said. Her voice took on a dreamy edge, but she wasn't stoned or high.
"The hell? I thought you were over him!"
"After today, I think I deserve this. Kiss him, and get it on tape. That's the apology I want from you for forgetting the camera," she said.
"You know, normal women make their boyfriends buy them purses and flowers and shit," Gilbert grumbled.
She stuck out her tongue. "Like any 'normal woman' would be dating you."
"Fine. I'll take control of his 'vital regions' and get it on tape. Happy now?"
She kissed him. "Very!"
And then, because no one was watching, he brushed the hair from her face and kissed her slow. It might have almost been considered romantic, but for him it was just awesome on a slower pace to make it last longer.
*
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"So, is everyone here. Antonio, you're better with cameras than Francis, I hope?"
Francis took a hold of the large brass knocker carved in a grotesque shape of some gremlin or something and knocked. He used that French charm of his way straight to the master. And that was when Gilbert struck. He jumped out from the bushes and practically tackled Roderich. They weren't that much different in terms of height, so it didn't take much to yank on his cravat (and seriously, who wears a cravat anymore?) and pull him down for a kiss. He shoved him to the wall and rubbed over his vital regions. A moan escaped his throat as Gilbert bit his lower lip.
When he broke the kiss, Roderich looked dazed, confused, flustered, and more than a little turned on.
"What the-"
"You like that, bitch? Well, your vital regions just got claimed in the name of Liz."
Gilbert still had a hold of the cravat. He licked his lips, ground his hips against Roderich, and then stepped back and out of there. They ran off while Roderich tried to gather what was left of his composure.
Gilbert liked to think of that as the best fuck that Roderich never had.
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I want to be like your Lizzy when I grow up. Seriously. And you captured a wonderful Gilbert, and you managed to put Arthur in it and...you are amazing.
And I usually don't even read high-school AUs!
Laughed. Loud. Can't wait for my family to ask "what was so funny, darling?"
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This fic was hilarious! LOL, the fact that we get Gilbert's narration would give it away anyway, but man, you got his voice perfectly. His crude language and crude humour, his inflated image of himself, and his own particular brand of romanticism and affection for his girlfriend and friends are a delicious treat.
"I'm a pacifist," he said, shrugging. "If Francis wishes to spend his life going from bar floozie to bar floozie, having nothing but meaningless sex and being emotionally crippled and disease ridden until he finally dies a sad, lonely death, then I can't exact stop him, now can I?"
That was the most badass moment in the entire story ♥
Which everyone knew was just an excuse for synchronized public groping and grinding.
An excellent description, if I ever saw oneXD
All the part about the choosing of the music, classical discussion and the dance was fantastic, lol. Specially the part concerning Francis' hand-multiplying abilities:
Matthew had his hands about Francis' waist, and rested his head on Francis' shoulder. In turn, Francis moved his hands. He wasn't called 'The Octopus' for nothing. First they were around his neck, but as the song played, they went down until they were resting on his ass. And somehow, Francis managed to still keep this blatant gropefest romantic. Ugh. Maybe you had to be French to get away with it.
Also, Lizzy rocks. Man, I wish I had a boyfrined willing to do those kind of thingsXD
And then, because no one was watching, he brushed the hair from her face and kissed her slow. It might have almost been considered romantic, but for him it was just awesome on a slower pace to make it last longer.
AWWWW, man. That's so oddly cute and lovely. What a great way to end the date ^^
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And Gilbert's and Lizzie's relationship? Priceless.
Mmmm. I want more of this universe.
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