Unanticipated [1/2]
anonymous
March 15 2010, 04:39:58 UTC
(( ReCaptcha: vital jumbles. O.O Anyway, sorry for the bad fill, but... -lovesmontypythonwithallofherbeing- ))
"Was it good?" England asked.
"Yes. And you're still on top of me."
"Oh." England rolled off America's back.
"Is it okay? Since you used to be a colony of mine...?"
"Yes! I did it because I love you, damn it! I didn't expect a kind of... Spanish inquisition!"
Spain and the Italies burst into the room. "NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!" Spain bellowed triumphantly.
England and America screamed simultaneously. "BLOODY FUCKING MOTHER OF SHIT, SPAIN!" England yelled, pulling a quilt over himself and America.
"Our chief weapon is surprise... surprise, and fear... Our two weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency.. Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency... and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our four ... no ... Amongst our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again." Spain frowned and walked out of the room.
"I didn't expect a kind of Spanish inquisition."
A jarring chord and Spain, Romano, and Veneziano rushed back into the room.
"NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms -- oh, damn!"
He turned to Romano. "I can't say it-- you'll have to say it."
Romano's face fell. "What?"
Spain rolled his eyes. "You'll have to say the bit about 'our chief weapons are...'"
Romano looked horrified. "I couldn't do that!"
Spain grabbed both Italies by their hair curls and dragged them out of the room again, the Italian men squealing a bit as they were bundled out of the room.
America lost his vocal vigor. "I didn't expect a kind of Spanish inquisition."
They burst in again. Romano scuffed at the floor. "Er... Nobody... um..."
"Expects," Spain supplied.
"Expects... Um, nobody expects... the... um... the Spanish..."
"Inquisition," Spain snapped.
"I know, I know! Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. In fact, those who do expect--" Romano began.
Veneziano blinked. "You are hereby charged that you did on diverse dates commit heresy against the Holy Church. 'My old man said follow the--'" he recited from a (fairly unimpressive) scroll.
Romano shut him up. "That's enough. Now, how do you plead?" he asked, nodding at England.
"We're innocent," England said blankly.
Spain broke into diabolical laughter. "Ha! Ha! Ha ha!"
Romano squawked, "We'll soon change your mind about that!"
Spain quivered with excitement. "Fear, surprise, and a most ruthless--" he controlled himself. "Oooh. Now, Cardinal. The rack."
America's eyes widened. England said out of the corner of his mouth, "Medieval torture device. Stretchy. You weren't born yet."
Romano produced a plastic dishwashing rack with an impressive flourish. Veneziano and Romano tied England pitifully to the rack.
"Right! How do you plead?"
England's eyes were almost steely; but were they sarcastic? America couldn't tell. "Innocent," England replied smoothly.
"Ha! Right, Cardinal! Give the rack--" "Oh, dear." "Give the rack a turn!"
Romano stood there awkwardly and shrugged a little. "I know, I know you can't. I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to try and ignore your crass mistake," Spain said, volcanic anger hidden under a meter of ice.
"I--"
"It makes it all seem so stupid," Spain said angrily.
"Shall I...?"
"No, just pretend for God's sake! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
Romano turned an imaginary handle that imaginarily tightened the rack that in the imagination may have hurt England.
Unanticipated [2/2]
anonymous
March 15 2010, 04:40:41 UTC
"One, two, five!"
"Three, sir!"
"Three!" America pulled the Holy Pin of the oddly-acquired Holy Hand Grenade and threw it at the crimson-clad men.
And Romano and Spain blew up in a lovely fireworks show of guts. "Funny, isn't it? How your best friend can just blow up like that?" America asked.
Noting Veneziano on the brink of tears, which would be reasonable for him to be, as he had an appendix stuck in his ear and his haircurl was decorated with a lovely small intestine, England started to sing.
"Some things in life are bad, they can really make you mad. Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble, give a whistle! And this'll help things turn out for the best..."
"Oh, God..."
"And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life..."
"If life seems jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten; and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing! When you're feeling in the dumps, don't be silly chumps! Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing."
"God, no."
"And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life..."
"For life is quite absurd, and death's the final word. You must always face the curtain with a bow. Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin! Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow."
"So always look on the bright side of death! Right before you draw your terminal breath!"
"Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it. Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true. You'll see it's all a show, keep 'em laughing as you go. Just remember that the last laugh is on you."
"Just shut up!"
"And always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the right side of life--come on guys! Cheer up!"
"SHUT UP! Will you shut up?!?!" America yelled.
England's smile grew wry. "Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!"
"Shut up!" America said, shaking England angrily.
"Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!"
"Was it good?" England asked.
"Yes. And you're still on top of me."
"Oh." England rolled off America's back.
"Is it okay? Since you used to be a colony of mine...?"
"Yes! I did it because I love you, damn it! I didn't expect a kind of... Spanish inquisition!"
Spain and the Italies burst into the room. "NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!" Spain bellowed triumphantly.
England and America screamed simultaneously. "BLOODY FUCKING MOTHER OF SHIT, SPAIN!" England yelled, pulling a quilt over himself and America.
"Our chief weapon is surprise... surprise, and fear... Our two weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency.. Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency... and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our four ... no ... Amongst our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again." Spain frowned and walked out of the room.
"I didn't expect a kind of Spanish inquisition."
A jarring chord and Spain, Romano, and Veneziano rushed back into the room.
"NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms -- oh, damn!"
He turned to Romano. "I can't say it-- you'll have to say it."
Romano's face fell. "What?"
Spain rolled his eyes. "You'll have to say the bit about 'our chief weapons are...'"
Romano looked horrified. "I couldn't do that!"
Spain grabbed both Italies by their hair curls and dragged them out of the room again, the Italian men squealing a bit as they were bundled out of the room.
America lost his vocal vigor. "I didn't expect a kind of Spanish inquisition."
They burst in again. Romano scuffed at the floor. "Er... Nobody... um..."
"Expects," Spain supplied.
"Expects... Um, nobody expects... the... um... the Spanish..."
"Inquisition," Spain snapped.
"I know, I know! Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. In fact, those who do expect--" Romano began.
"Our chief weapons are," Spain corrected, clearly losing patience.
Romano dipped his head a notch in acknowledgment. "Our chief weapons are...um...err..."
"Surprise."
"Surprise, and--"
"Okay, stop! Stop. Stop there--stop there. Stop. Phew! Ah! ... Our chief weapons are surprise...blah, blah, blah. Cardinal, read the charges."
Veneziano blinked. "You are hereby charged that you did on diverse dates commit heresy against the Holy Church. 'My old man said follow the--'" he recited from a (fairly unimpressive) scroll.
Romano shut him up. "That's enough. Now, how do you plead?" he asked, nodding at England.
"We're innocent," England said blankly.
Spain broke into diabolical laughter. "Ha! Ha! Ha ha!"
Romano squawked, "We'll soon change your mind about that!"
Spain quivered with excitement. "Fear, surprise, and a most ruthless--" he controlled himself. "Oooh. Now, Cardinal. The rack."
America's eyes widened. England said out of the corner of his mouth, "Medieval torture device. Stretchy. You weren't born yet."
Romano produced a plastic dishwashing rack with an impressive flourish. Veneziano and Romano tied England pitifully to the rack.
"Right! How do you plead?"
England's eyes were almost steely; but were they sarcastic? America couldn't tell. "Innocent," England replied smoothly.
"Ha! Right, Cardinal! Give the rack--" "Oh, dear." "Give the rack a turn!"
Romano stood there awkwardly and shrugged a little. "I know, I know you can't. I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to try and ignore your crass mistake," Spain said, volcanic anger hidden under a meter of ice.
"I--"
"It makes it all seem so stupid," Spain said angrily.
"Shall I...?"
"No, just pretend for God's sake! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
Romano turned an imaginary handle that imaginarily tightened the rack that in the imagination may have hurt England.
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"Three, sir!"
"Three!" America pulled the Holy Pin of the oddly-acquired Holy Hand Grenade and threw it at the crimson-clad men.
And Romano and Spain blew up in a lovely fireworks show of guts. "Funny, isn't it? How your best friend can just blow up like that?" America asked.
Noting Veneziano on the brink of tears, which would be reasonable for him to be, as he had an appendix stuck in his ear and his haircurl was decorated with a lovely small intestine, England started to sing.
"Some things in life are bad, they can really make you mad. Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble, give a whistle! And this'll help things turn out for the best..."
"Oh, God..."
"And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life..."
"If life seems jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten; and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing! When you're feeling in the dumps, don't be silly chumps! Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing."
"God, no."
"And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life..."
"For life is quite absurd, and death's the final word. You must always face the curtain with a bow. Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin! Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow."
"So always look on the bright side of death! Right before you draw your terminal breath!"
"Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it. Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true. You'll see it's all a show, keep 'em laughing as you go. Just remember that the last laugh is on you."
"Just shut up!"
"And always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the right side of life--come on guys! Cheer up!"
"SHUT UP! Will you shut up?!?!" America yelled.
England's smile grew wry. "Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!"
"Shut up!" America said, shaking England angrily.
"Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!"
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xD
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THIS IS WHEN I FELL OFF MY BLOODY CHAIR. ilu anon.
reCaptcha: overlaid present. Fffffff.
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THIS OWNS. So much.
Seriously there's a little something in there for everyone x3
Is it bad I started singing along too? xDD
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