Weltliche Asche (5a/6)
anonymous
February 2 2010, 07:06:08 UTC
Wow, can you believe I didn't post for five whole days? Okay, so I've finally decided that there's only going to be two more parts to this, since in my head, things are rapidly drawing to a close. I hope you enjoy what lies ahead, fellow anons, and thank you for taking the time to read this. Ps. Captcha: five gustavus. Erk?
If he is completely honest with himself, he will admit that a part of him detests Russia for everything that has happened between them. All his wasted hours spent in both Russia's bed and office, the long years of eking out a miserable semblance of well-being while his brother lived in seeming luxury. Every threat of war and death that puttered out like the fuse of a ill-made firecracker and left him feeling weak and useless.
And of course there was the Wall. He traces the scar across his chest, fingers it almost absent-mindedly. His brother has one just like it, running parallel to his own, one on either side of the heart he hadn't even known they shared. Berlin was a hateful place when the Wall still existed, cold and grey and filled with a watchful silence that not even the sound of so-called progress could drown out.
Berlin is not Königsberg, will never be. And though it binds him to his brother like spidersilk, tethers them and makes them inseparable and therefore strong; he cannot forget where his real heart lies and where his might of old came from. And it is in Königsberg, in steely Kaliningrad, that he can forget that a part of him hates Russia to his core.
Even though the people there are not wholly his own, even though it hurts when Russia tears up another piece and supplants it with turrets and fortifications and ever more weaponry, he can forget. In Königsberg, in Kaliningrad, his heart beats to a rhythm only Russia knows. In Königsberg he can remember that love and hate often walk together hand in hand.
If he is completely honest with himself, he will admit that a part of him detests Russia for everything that has happened between them. All his wasted hours spent in both Russia's bed and office, the long years of eking out a miserable semblance of well-being while his brother lived in seeming luxury. Every threat of war and death that puttered out like the fuse of a ill-made firecracker and left him feeling weak and useless.
And of course there was the Wall. He traces the scar across his chest, fingers it almost absent-mindedly. His brother has one just like it, running parallel to his own, one on either side of the heart he hadn't even known they shared. Berlin was a hateful place when the Wall still existed, cold and grey and filled with a watchful silence that not even the sound of so-called progress could drown out.
Berlin is not Königsberg, will never be. And though it binds him to his brother like spidersilk, tethers them and makes them inseparable and therefore strong; he cannot forget where his real heart lies and where his might of old came from. And it is in Königsberg, in steely Kaliningrad, that he can forget that a part of him hates Russia to his core.
Even though the people there are not wholly his own, even though it hurts when Russia tears up another piece and supplants it with turrets and fortifications and ever more weaponry, he can forget. In Königsberg, in Kaliningrad, his heart beats to a rhythm only Russia knows. In Königsberg he can remember that love and hate often walk together hand in hand.
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