Hetalia Kink meme part 9 -- CLOSED
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hetalia kink meme
part 9
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( Christmas Reveals )
It was when he had passed through the gate from the plane into the airport that England had first caught wind of something fishy. He had made a fast friend on the plane and was wishing him goodbye, going to stand by the baggage claim for America to come get him, when the sound of very loud high heels made him turn.
Of course, there were plenty of women with high heels in the airport, but this seemed... different. Dangerous. A young woman, obviously American, judging by her shorts-which-were-nothing-more-than-a-tiny-piece-of-cloth and her shirt, which was an American flag and about ready to break and let her breasts fall out entirely, came to stand next to him. She didn't waste any time.
“Hey cutie,” She said, chest-balloons bobbing.
“Oh, good morning.”
“You have an accent? So cool,” She giggled. Why was England suddenly reminded of the way Belarus looked at Russia during meetings?
“I know several people that would take the opposite view and say that you're the one with the accent,” He said curtly.
“British accents are so cool,” She scooted closer to him. He moved the equal distance in the other direction. “Really hot,” He said nothing and tried to force a smile. “... So cutie, what's your name?”
“Arthur. Arthur Kirkland.”
“Wow, were you born in Britland?”
“I was born in England,”
“Wow! I'm Taren by the way! Like 'Karen', but with a 'T'!”
“Lovely to meet you, miss.”
She gasped. “Do you know the queen!?”
He couldn't lie... “Well yes, actually, I do.”
“Wow, what is she like? She likes tea, too, right?”
“Ah... yes, the queen does prefer some Earl Grey every now and again... I believe most of us do,”
“You have really really good teeth, Arthur! I thought all Britain people had bad teeth!”
“Oh well that's a common -”
“Ooooh, look at that stud over there!” She seemed to be trying to make him jealous. Had someone injected some of that artificial sweetener in her? England had to keep himself from laughing when 'that stud' was his very own America.
“Oh yes, he's here to pick me up.”
“You KNOW him? So cool! Is he British too?”
America just got within earshot. “Nah, I'm of the cooler race, thanks,” He winked at her. England glared his angry-but-not-angry-enough-to-cause-a-public-scene-especially-not-in-an-American-airport glare.
“Oh, Arthur!” Taren pat his shoulder. “You aren't mad are you? I mean I know you guys lost the war, but...”
“Lost a... when did we (he almost said 'I') lose a war?”
“Well the war of independence silly! You guys tried to go independent but we wouldn't let you because you guys mine all our tea... I'm sorry... at least your queen looks like a nice old lady! We just like iced tea too much. Maybe next time!”
There were no words. England opened his mouth to say something when America grabbed his hand and waved to the girl. “We'd best be going now, kid, ah, stay safe, okay? Tip your waitresses and all that,”
“Oh it's okay, I can't do math so my mom does all the taxes! I'll be sure to!”
America's tears of laughter would be his end, England vowed. His end.
[Yes, I have met a real person named 'Taren'. And a 'Tegan' for good measure. I'm waiting for a 'Tichelle' next.]
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seriously, pure genius.
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(XD just kiddin. Altough canadian here would really like to have Hong Kong... very funny story)
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Oddly enough, even if she was annoying, overbearing, dumb and a bit rude, OP found Taren really cute, and wouldn't mind to see more of herXD
OP also thinks that it's a bit sad that she didn't jump to the obvious conclusion when Arthur said 'the stud' was picking him up; it'd have been hilarious if she was all "OHMYGAWD, can I have a threesome with you gay guys?" XDXDXDXD
I loved the way she kept interrupting Arthur and didn't even think twice about the fact that he knew the Queen (like every Brit knows her or somethingXD)
OP is also delighted that Taren looked so much like fem!America, because she's really hot
Oh, and USUK is perfectly alright with this anon, because she loves it ;)
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I used that particular question because of a segment on a late night television show. The questions were 'what are the most common things an American says to a Brit' and that was one of them, 'DO YOU KNOW THE QUEEN'. Number one was, of course, 'Britain should have its own version of The Office!'
I'm thinking I should write some sort of omake...
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