Hetalia Kink meme part 9 -- CLOSED
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hetalia kink meme
part 9
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( Christmas Reveals )
Tony had been with Mama Egypt. Pitched in the designs for her beloved pharaohs' tombs. H e had been with Mama Greece. Challenging her philosophers and her mathematicians. He even hanged out with Rome once. Laid the foundations for his infamous roads and coliseum.
Before that, Tony had been in Mesopotamia. Teaching the citizens of irrigation and cartwheels (as in the wheels of carts, not fucking gymnastics you limey). He had been in India. Arguing with the many intellectuals. He even made a brief visit to little China. Bright-eyed with cheeks of rosy youth, the tiny nation quickly learned all the knowledge Tony would offer.
And then, Tony retreated from the world stage. His mother was calling him for dinner after all. Mmm. Yerg worms. So he left.
He came back about a few centuries later. (Stupid light-year differences, stupid homework, stupid chores! And the atomicpzΔmaton's error was so not his fault! How was he supposed to know that the sulfuricdibonic would react with the acidicmonopie?)
But when he came back, the world had become a rather chaotic place. Rome, Mama Greece, Mama Egypt, and all the other "friends" made, were gone. In their place were their stinky, little children.
Tony didn't like these stinky, little children. They were loud, and violent, and none-too-bright. Always starting wars. Squabbling over the dumbest things. Even China had forgotten him, lost in his empirical conquest.
So he had away to a different continent. The Americas as they would later be called. And made his home there.
He had already made some contact with the Maya. But she was still a wee, tiny thing. Barely a baby, that it wasn't so much fun to play with her. Now though, she had fleshed out quite a bit and since Europe was a bust, Tony spent all his time with her. Not that it was a bad thing.
She and all the other little sprouts were good company. He helped Maya make her own pyramids. Made them grander, at least in his opinion, than Egypt's. (Shut the fuck up, he wasn't being petty) And Maya, being a woman, was ever the dutiful multi-tasker and would take on so many projects she wouldn't know which way was up and which way was down. So Tony made her a calendar. But he got lazy and stopped writing at the year 2012 on December 21. And what are the odds of her actually surviving to that age anyways?
Then there were the Incas, Tony helped him with roads as he did with Rome and did some landscape designing in Machu Picchu. And like Tony predicted, Maya was succeeded by Aztec. (No, he wasn't sad about it) And he helped Aztec out too. (And no, it wasn't because she scared him. so she had bigger muscles.)
Meanwhile, Tony's personal life was degenerating. His father was constantly on his back. Literally. Gave Tony one of his spores that grew into a mini-head of his. Harping and harping about pointless things.
"Look at these grades! They are unacceptable! A double frzzn? On EXZ? In this family unit? Unheard of!"
His mother was simply adding fuel to his ire. "Quit laying in your pod like a Xergun Leech Crab! Get a job!"
And his younger sister, otherwise known as the most annoying organism ever produced, lorded over him with her "superior" knowledge. "Why are you always playing in the Milky Way? Huh? Huh? You're so weird like that. Talking about those imaginary planets. I mean people who can't even build a working spiitzmatoid? Yeah, right! You're just crazy! And creepy!"
Until finally! Finally! Tony snapped. He dropped out of the inter-galactic school system.
"Yeah, well father unit! Nobody cares that the sphere trunk of plazmapod is 3254301546132465."
Packed up all his stuff, and loaded them unto his polished spacecraft.
"I am being productive, mother unit! You just don't get it, alright!!"
And littered his younger sister's room with cow shit. A substance unknown in his universe.
"Ha, who's imaginary now? Brat unit!"
Then, without even a word of farewell to his "beloved" care unit. He flew to Earth. Where he was rightly appreciated
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brilliant, anon. I loved thisXD
All these little references to another galaxy and its natural system, and the units, and the Xergun Leech Crab. Specially that
God, we owe you everything, Tony. Thank youXD
We owe civilization to a teenager runaway, oh god
(I kinda even felt bad for him at the end: he comes, teaches and goes. When he returns, his friends are all dead and the progenie haven't learnt anything and are constantly fighting; he moves to another continent, teaches and goes. And damn, when he returns again, same scenario: his friends dead killed by the Europeans, this explains so much about his sympathies xD and a new world order. no wonder he guessed this time around he's stick with the superpower to supervise him and keep him alive so that that shit could never happen againXDXDXD)
Thanks for the laughs, writeranon ;)
reCatpcha says 'hooligan foolish'. that's what your mommy unit thinks of you, Tony XDXDXD
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