Hetalia Kink meme part 9 -- CLOSED
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hetalia kink meme
part 9
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( Christmas Reveals )
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Camping Trip
They could no longer remember who suggested the ridiculous family bonding session, nor how they ended up camping somewhere in the middle of America (the landmass of course). But they were very sure of two things.
One: Fishing isn’t as innocent and relaxing a past time as those foreign infomercials for Swiss knives make it out to be…
”OH MY GOD. FUCKING PIRANHAS. FUCKING PIRANHAS!”
“Get the pan, eh!” Clonk. Clonk.
“OH MY G-WHAT THE FUCK! ENGLAND YOU HAVE INSECTS ON YOUR FOREHEAD!”
“Insects…what? …America, you bloody TARD, those are my eyebr-“
“WHAT THE-FUCKING PIRANHAS!”
“Amerique, please let go of my face.”
And two: A certain someone forgot to tell them about the bears.
All four disheveled nations were currently huddled in a tent, a tent made to comfortably house one sleeping bag, which happened to be England’s.
It was a good thing the night was chilly.
“You bloody gits,” he hissed. “What the hell are you all doing here?!”
“Th-there’s a b-bear outside…” America whined.
“A b-what in Heaven’s name? Canada! Is this true?”
“Iggy you meanie! You don’t belie-“
“Shut up!”
“We heard noises and a groan by the bushes.” Canada replied.
“My dears, that might as well be fellow campers enjoying the night too much,” France supplied.
England clicked his tongue. “God damn it, frog. No one is as deprived as you.”
“I’m telling you guys, it’s a bear!” America whined again. “It was a bear growl we heard!”
“Why the bloody hell would it come to our campsite?” England demanded, deciding that arguing against America wouldn’t bode well for his blood sugar.
“America had burgers for dinner,” Canada accused.
“I was hungry!”
“Hey, ow. You hit me!”
“Did not! England’s foot was in my ass.”
“And you wankers are in my tent!”
“Be quiet!” France said indignantly, waving a furious hand as much as space could allow. The others fell silent and watched as, indeed, a shadow of a large animal blocks the light from the fire.
Wait a minute.
“You forgot to put the fire out?” Canada hissed angrily, kicking America’s shin.
“God damn it, ow! I panicked! You guys panicked! What was I supposed to-“
“Crap this, no wonder it’s heading for us, the fire’s lighted!”
England groaned into his pillow. “Any louder and you’ll all get us mauled, boys. Keep it up.”
A distinct sound of plastic being opened resounded in the still night air.
“Fuck, he’s going for the marshmallows.”
France deadpanned. “…the what?”
“The marshmallows! No bear gets near my marshmallows!” America propped himself up on his hands and knees, preparing for a dive outside. “Canada, where’s the pan?”
Canada blinked. “The pan? It’s out-wait! America!”
Without warning, America bounded out the tent, grabbed the pan lying on one of their logs and lunged at the thieving bear, ready to strike.
“OH MY GOD A FUCKING PIRANHA MAN!”
“I am not a fucking piranha man!” spoke a voice so bland and gay the sparkles cried. “I am PETA man! And you are not to hurt this poor defenseless violent creature!”
"I-it's after my marshmallows! Marshmallows, PETA man! Have a heart!"
"If saving the animals means killing humans, then by gum I'll do it!"
England swore silently and shimmied further into his sleeping bag. France sighed and wished his dear friend luck. Canada face-palmed and muttered, “Not again.”
America was forced to run for his life.
END
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I don’t live anywhere near America so…I improvised. Hope OP likes. ^^”
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Oh my God, PETA. Just, pfft. Thank you very much!
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