Re: Drinking Buddies Part 4/4
anonymous
April 6 2010, 00:35:04 UTC
He pulled out and Toris lay shaking there for a moment, his back beaded with cold sweat, his skin tingling as he whimpered with frustration. “Vanya, please...” he begged, tears pricking his eyes.
“That was nice, was it not?” Ivan murmured happily, leaning over to plant a kiss on Toris' flushed cheek.
“Please...” Toris pushed himself to his feet, wrapping himself around the older man, pushing himself against him, his lips seeking his. “I need to..I need to come...please...” he whined.
“Tsk, tsk...” Ivan's tongue probed his trembling lips, before looking down at Toris and shaking his head. “After such dreadful language...I think not.” The brunette let out a strangled whimper at this, clutching at the other man's chest and looking up at him with enormous, pleading eyes.
“You can't...leave me like this!” Toris exclaimed desperately.
“Come, little one, you are too bold tonight,” he laughed. “It's time you sobered up. You can sleep on the floor beside my bed tonight, just like the dog you so desperately want to be.” He placed one finger under the smaller man's chin and tilted the flushed and troubled face up towards his own with a happy little chuckle. “Perhaps tomorrow we get you a collar, da?”
Re: Drinking Buddies Part 4/4
anonymous
April 6 2010, 02:24:58 UTC
And so goes the unfortunate implications of Lithuania's name.... (Toris is a name for dogs, but I'm sure you already knew that.)
I liked the way you wrote it. I can't say much for the content because I don't like prompts like these, but you filled it very well. One grammar mistake was when Lithuania says his name is Lietuvos. That would be true only if he said Lietuvos respublika. I hope I spelled it right. Left alone, the correct case is Lietuva. But don't worry because Lithuanian is sorta hard to get right away due to the cases. ^__^ Otherwise, I think you showed Russia's partial insanity and Liet's drinking habits realistically. I see Liet as the kind of guy who wouldn't drink very often, too.
*Hugs Liet and helps him come when Russia's not looking* Sorry, I just love this boy so much. I could never leave him like that.
Recaptcha: kolker evacuated - That's right, recaptcha! Remove Russia from the premises so I can help Liet come
Re: Drinking Buddies Part 4/4
anonymous
April 8 2010, 23:58:21 UTC
I agree with the previous anon about Liet's drinking habits. That's a nice little character detail, right there.
Now, I do like prompts like these, and I have to say that it was the last section that really made it. Lithuania was a bit OC to me at points, even with the alcohol, though he had to be for the kinks you chose to focus on - it threw me a little, but all was forgotten in the face of that orgasm denial. The last three paragraphs specifically were full of such delicious condescension, and the head tilt and the image of Lithuania curled up on the floor, desperately aroused and increasingly ashamed as he sobers up, are so. fucking. attractive. So, yeah. You got my motor running. Thank you, anon!
“That was nice, was it not?” Ivan murmured happily, leaning over to plant a kiss on Toris' flushed cheek.
“Please...” Toris pushed himself to his feet, wrapping himself around the older man, pushing himself against him, his lips seeking his. “I need to..I need to come...please...” he whined.
“Tsk, tsk...” Ivan's tongue probed his trembling lips, before looking down at Toris and shaking his head. “After such dreadful language...I think not.” The brunette let out a strangled whimper at this, clutching at the other man's chest and looking up at him with enormous, pleading eyes.
“You can't...leave me like this!” Toris exclaimed desperately.
“Come, little one, you are too bold tonight,” he laughed. “It's time you sobered up. You can sleep on the floor beside my bed tonight, just like the dog you so desperately want to be.” He placed one finger under the smaller man's chin and tilted the flushed and troubled face up towards his own with a happy little chuckle. “Perhaps tomorrow we get you a collar, da?”
Reply
I liked the way you wrote it. I can't say much for the content because I don't like prompts like these, but you filled it very well. One grammar mistake was when Lithuania says his name is Lietuvos. That would be true only if he said Lietuvos respublika. I hope I spelled it right. Left alone, the correct case is Lietuva. But don't worry because Lithuanian is sorta hard to get right away due to the cases. ^__^ Otherwise, I think you showed Russia's partial insanity and Liet's drinking habits realistically. I see Liet as the kind of guy who wouldn't drink very often, too.
*Hugs Liet and helps him come when Russia's not looking* Sorry, I just love this boy so much. I could never leave him like that.
Recaptcha: kolker evacuated - That's right, recaptcha! Remove Russia from the premises so I can help Liet come
Reply
Now, I do like prompts like these, and I have to say that it was the last section that really made it. Lithuania was a bit OC to me at points, even with the alcohol, though he had to be for the kinks you chose to focus on - it threw me a little, but all was forgotten in the face of that orgasm denial. The last three paragraphs specifically were full of such delicious condescension, and the head tilt and the image of Lithuania curled up on the floor, desperately aroused and increasingly ashamed as he sobers up, are so. fucking. attractive.
So, yeah. You got my motor running. Thank you, anon!
Reply
Leave a comment