Okay, here I go... Pt1
anonymous
November 7 2009, 07:14:11 UTC
"Oh he's just throwing a bitch-fit, if we dignify it with a response it'll only encourage him," Alfred said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Seriously, it'll be like that one episode of South Park."
"I don't really watch South Park, Alfred..."
"Really? Not even the episodes you're in?" Alfred tilted his head to the side, giving him a surprised look.
"Well..."
"Heh, you saw the election one right? That was gold."
"But back to the matter at hand?"
"Psh, yeah, whatever, he'll last less than a week then he'll get tired and go home." Alfred leaned back in his chair. "He just wants attention."
"You don't think that we should even consider what to do if they're not bluffing?"
"Even if it's not a bluff, seriously, what's he gonna do? His army is this big." Alfred held out his fingers to demonstrate the size of the army in question.
...
The anchor on the morning news was babbling away on the television, her eyes wide and her face flushed. While she looked excited out of her skin, the older male anchor beside her looked slightly stricken and rarely interrupted the young woman's monologue.
"-- hasn't been an invasion on the continental United States in nearly two-hundred years!" she was saying as Alfred stared at her, his Cap'n Crunch dissolving into a puddle of sludge as it lay forgotten in his bowl.
"-- likely would have been completely unsuccessful, but experts are now unsure and predict that if a peaceful agreement can not be reached soon, the potential for casualties on both sides is staggering!"
The phone started ringing, but Alfred only vaguely registered it as an annoyance while he watched the excited young woman final turn to her co-anchor and ask for his thoughts.
"Well, I think it came as a great shock to everyone when the three West Coast states surrendered to Canada without any resistance. In a press-release yesterday afternoon, the new Governor of Alaska said that our northern-most state would not be joining the others along the Pacific and, as a show of solidarity with the nation, live video was broadcast from the downtown area of Anchorage where hundreds of citizens showed up to join together in a recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance." The anchor swallowed and looked down at the desk in front of him for a moment before turning his face back towards the cameras and continuing. "In response, this morning the Canadian Parliament released a statement that they 'didn't want Alaska anyway.'"
"That's right, Irving, and the Governor of California has also stated that--"
The screen suddenly turned to static. Alfred blinked. He blinked again. And with the absence of an over-excited newscaster telling him horrifying things, Alfred noticed that his phone was ringing and stumbled out of his seat to go pick it up. However, when he got there, the person on the other end of the line had apparently given up and put it down. All he heard was dial tone. The television then started to make the horrible shrieking sound of the Emergency Broadcast Network and Alfred cringed.
Suddenly the excited anchorwoman was back but much blurrier and grainier than before. "This is incredible!" she announced, even more excited than before. "We are now broadcasting to you entirely using our emergency analogue equipment because a computer virus has just crippled the station! We have yet to know how wide-spread this attack is, but we believe that it has something to do with the invasion from the North!"
"I don't really watch South Park, Alfred..."
"Really? Not even the episodes you're in?" Alfred tilted his head to the side, giving him a surprised look.
"Well..."
"Heh, you saw the election one right? That was gold."
"But back to the matter at hand?"
"Psh, yeah, whatever, he'll last less than a week then he'll get tired and go home." Alfred leaned back in his chair. "He just wants attention."
"You don't think that we should even consider what to do if they're not bluffing?"
"Even if it's not a bluff, seriously, what's he gonna do? His army is this big." Alfred held out his fingers to demonstrate the size of the army in question.
...
The anchor on the morning news was babbling away on the television, her eyes wide and her face flushed. While she looked excited out of her skin, the older male anchor beside her looked slightly stricken and rarely interrupted the young woman's monologue.
"-- hasn't been an invasion on the continental United States in nearly two-hundred years!" she was saying as Alfred stared at her, his Cap'n Crunch dissolving into a puddle of sludge as it lay forgotten in his bowl.
"-- likely would have been completely unsuccessful, but experts are now unsure and predict that if a peaceful agreement can not be reached soon, the potential for casualties on both sides is staggering!"
The phone started ringing, but Alfred only vaguely registered it as an annoyance while he watched the excited young woman final turn to her co-anchor and ask for his thoughts.
"Well, I think it came as a great shock to everyone when the three West Coast states surrendered to Canada without any resistance. In a press-release yesterday afternoon, the new Governor of Alaska said that our northern-most state would not be joining the others along the Pacific and, as a show of solidarity with the nation, live video was broadcast from the downtown area of Anchorage where hundreds of citizens showed up to join together in a recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance." The anchor swallowed and looked down at the desk in front of him for a moment before turning his face back towards the cameras and continuing. "In response, this morning the Canadian Parliament released a statement that they 'didn't want Alaska anyway.'"
"That's right, Irving, and the Governor of California has also stated that--"
The screen suddenly turned to static. Alfred blinked. He blinked again. And with the absence of an over-excited newscaster telling him horrifying things, Alfred noticed that his phone was ringing and stumbled out of his seat to go pick it up. However, when he got there, the person on the other end of the line had apparently given up and put it down. All he heard was dial tone. The television then started to make the horrible shrieking sound of the Emergency Broadcast Network and Alfred cringed.
Suddenly the excited anchorwoman was back but much blurrier and grainier than before. "This is incredible!" she announced, even more excited than before. "We are now broadcasting to you entirely using our emergency analogue equipment because a computer virus has just crippled the station! We have yet to know how wide-spread this attack is, but we believe that it has something to do with the invasion from the North!"
Alfred stared, his jaw going slack.
...
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