Past-Part Fills Post 1 -- CLOSED

[hetalia_kink]

Thanks to anon's suggestions we are now enforcing a past-part fills post

Fresh past-part fills post HERE

Comments and Suggestions go here

Don't forget to link your new fill at the fill index over here.
Remember though that you need not post your updates unless you posted in a new  part

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Somehow This is Better (12/?)

[anonymous]

"I don't want to hurt you again, Ig--Arthur. Not again. But, I can't--" Alfred stopped and swallowed. Why couldn't he just spit it out already. I can't love you. He had said it to the mirror all morning. He had been waiting for Arthur to come; to have this talk. Why couldn't he do this now?

"Don't--don't be ridiculous, you git." Alfred looked over at him, watching as Arthur slowly moved the muscles in his face to form a smile. He searched for any sign that it reached his eyes. It didn't go that far though. What was Arthur doing to himself? Why?

"Of course I love you. I raised you: I clothed you, fed you, taught you everything I could. And yes, we fought and you left me. But isn't that how life goes? Children get older, and they have to make a life for themselves. You...it hurt when you left, but I never stopped loving you..." As he spoke, Alfred watched that light, the hint of a smile reaching his eyes.

Arthur suddenly moved, throwing his arms around him, and Alfred stiffened. Should he return it? Push him off? He brought his hands up slowly, feeling awkward as he returned the hug. He swallowed and it sank like lead into his stomach. He shouldn't be sitting here, doing this. He couldn't keep letting Arthur deflect his rejection.

"...and I always will. You...you're my little brother. I'll always want you to have the best life you can. Don't...don't live your life with restraint because you're worried about me. How can I be happy when you're not?" He pulled away and Alfred felt his arms go limp, dropping to his sides.

All this time, he had been trying to avoid hurting Arthur, even if it meant denying his own feelings. He wanted to end this because he was sure that he was holding Arthur back, as well. How could Arthur tell he wasn't happy? He always smiled, told stupid jokes, and he made sure he was oblivious to everything around him at the expense of looking like a complete idiot to the rest of the world. He threw away his dignity and the respect of other nations to keep his facade of obliviousness, and Arthur knew all this time?

"There's...there is someone else you love." Alfred nearly choked on the air he was breathing. He knew everything? "You...you should go to them. Don't you think that you've made them wait long enough?"

Alfred's throat felt dry as he looked at Arthur again for any kind of sign. He wasn't sure what kind of sign he was looking for. He wasn't doing the stupid, cliche falling in love when it's too late thing, was he? Oh God. Was that why he was having so much trouble telling him he didn't love him?

He was knocked out of his stupor when Arthur shoved him towards the party. Was Arthur rejecting him? No, he was trying to get rid of him. To cry? He didn't seem the type. He had to sort his own feelings out anyway. He reached over, hugging Arthur again. Was it wrong to be relieved that he felt nothing but his arms around a body? Maybe it was just Hollywood affecting him, but he always thought there would be something more to a hug. He pulled away, looking at Arthur one more time before he got up and ran back to the party.

He had to find Ivan. He had to know.

Somehow This is Better (12b/?)

[anonymous]

It didn't take long to find him. He was still standing in the same place he had been, talking quietly with Yao. Alfred swallowed a bit and licked his lips in nervousness. Sure, he had been leaving hints and signs for him, but 60 years was a long time to make someone wait. Would he still return the feelings? Did Alfred still feel them, or had he really fallen for Arthur after all this time?

Ivan looked up, and Alfred imagined he felt he was being watched, catching eyes with Alfred. His throat went dry and the lead lifted from his stomach, replaced with that tingling butterfly feeling. He smiled brightly, and Ivan excused himself, walking away from Yao toward him. Any confusion he had earlier was gone.

He met Ivan halfway, unable to think of anything better to do than just move his arms around him, holding tight like he would disappear if he let go. Ivan's arms were warm around him, and he felt like he would just melt into him. Lips met the top of his head and Ivan murmured something in Russian that he couldn't quite understand. He didn't have to though.

"I love you, too. I always have...I'm sorry it took me so long." Ivan pulled back and placed a hand on his head, running it through his hair.

"I would have waited forever, because I knew you did."

Alfred smiled, pulling Ivan into another hug. They had the rest of their lives ahead of them, but he never wanted to let go.

Re: Somehow This is Better (12b/?)

[anonymous]

Very nice!